Semi-Life Crisis, need practical advice (longish)

I moved to austin on the first, confident that I had a good roomate and a job lined up.. then:

My roomate decides to let me know on the first that she isnt able to take out her usual (wtf!!) payday advance loans because the bank sid she wasnt good for it. Then she tells me she owes 300 on her electric bill and wants me to put it in my name because she cant pay that back.

I have a crisis of conscience: Im a nice/naive/stupid guy so I wont just walk out the door, and I already gave her my half of the rent. So I tell her that I cant float this expensive rent and will be moving to a dorm in january.

So that problem is slightly averted. Well, I was supposed to start my job orientation at chilis (I know) that sunday at 7:30. I didnt have my alarm clock with me, so she promised to wake me up. I woke up at about 11:30 to the sound of her taking a shower. K, Im pissed.

I am completely broke, took the last of my poker br out to pay for my half of the rent, and actually had to ask my cousin who lives in austin to loan me the gas money (I [censored] hate asking for [censored]). So Im back in houston, and my cousin tells me that he can get me a job delivering pizzas at Gattis.. he says it'll pay about $15/hr all told.

This brings up another problem: I havent been able to pay for insurance or registration on my car because the money just isnt there, but to get the job at Gatti's I'll need insurance. So I have to get insurance, probably in the form of my family's xmas gift to me. Well I havent heard back from my cousin yet, and I supposed to leave tonight.

Basically, I have no job, no money, no real place to stay and I need to attend texas state university in january. Im 21, and have 36 hours of credit; if I dont get to school this spring, Im pretty sure I'll write off my whole life as a failure and go be a pot smoking bum the rest of my life.

So what's my play? I need to locate a job that pays well enough to afford about 300-400 in rent, with some left over for food. I need a place to stay, and there's really nothing on craigslist.

basically, Im sure I'll get alot of tl;dr to this, and a ton of flaming. No matter, Im kind of at the end of my rope with this, and nothing anyone says on here can make it worse. If anyone could lend a piece of advice, either about a job, anyone they know who is looking for a roomate, or just a similar life experience, lemme know.

Thanks
-Eric

[[censored]]

reduce expenses, increase income and rid your life of the people who are causing you stress. start focusing on making good decisions. time will take care of the rest

[slickpoppa]

Do you have parents or a sibling that you could live with until you get off your feet?

[ QUOTE ]
Do you have parents or a sibling that you could live with until you get off your feet?

[/ QUOTE ]

my mom is in houston, Im staying with her right now till I go back to austin, but I really need to be in austin, working for january's rent payment... otherwise, well, Im footfucked.

I dont really know why I posted on OOT, but I needed to vent to someone, eh?

I need to get back there to secure a job, find a roomate, etc.. but I really dont wanna go back to living with that psycho bitch roomate of mine and her crazy ass dog. I dunno, its just not a comfortable situation for me, because I've lived on my own before and been completely fine, and didnt need help from anyone, Im not good at asking for it.

call your advisor at school and explain your problem, see if you can skip this semester without losing your placement in the fall. find a job. save up. go to school in september with money in the bank, so you don't have all this pressure on you. school isn't a race. delaying graduation by a year isn't going to kill you.

[[censored]]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Do you have parents or a sibling that you could live with until you get off your feet?

[/ QUOTE ]

my mom is in houston, Im staying with her right now till I go back to austin, but I really need to be in austin, working for january's rent payment... otherwise, well, Im footfucked.

I dont really know why I posted on OOT, but I needed to vent to someone, eh?

I need to get back there to secure a job, find a roomate, etc.. but I really dont wanna go back to living with that psycho bitch roomate of mine and her crazy ass dog. I dunno, its just not a comfortable situation for me, because I've lived on my own before and been completely fine, and didnt need help from anyone, Im not good at asking for it.

[/ QUOTE ]

Take a semester off, find a full time job in Houston and stay with your mom. Focus on getting your insurance and saving up some money for an apartment and emergencies. 3weeks to a month before moving back to Austin, search the classifieds for someone looking for a roommate and restart school, refreshed and refocused

[ QUOTE ]
call your advisor at school and explain your problem, see if you can skip this semester without losing your placement in the fall. find a job. save up. go to school in september with money in the bank, so you don't have all this pressure on you. school isn't a race. delaying graduation by a year isn't going to kill you.

[/ QUOTE ]

this is really good advice, and I would probably do it, except that I feel like such a dropout when Im not in school. I have all this potential, Im a smart guy and I am just not putting it together. Kinda makes me feel like a failure.

I think there's a possibility I would do this for the summer mini-mester, then continue in the fall.

regardless, thanks for the advice.

[[censored]]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
call your advisor at school and explain your problem, see if you can skip this semester without losing your placement in the fall. find a job. save up. go to school in september with money in the bank, so you don't have all this pressure on you. school isn't a race. delaying graduation by a year isn't going to kill you.

[/ QUOTE ]

this is really good advice, and I would probably do it, except that I feel like such a dropout when Im not in school. I have all this potential, Im a smart guy and I am just not putting it together. Kinda makes me feel like a failure.

I think there's a possibility I would do this for the summer mini-mester, then continue in the fall.

regardless, thanks for the advice.

[/ QUOTE ]

does your college have an online campus which would allow you to take a course or two while focusing on getting your house inorder?

Go open a Credit card. use it to pay the necassary things until you can at least get a job. LIVE VERY CHEAPLY FOR A COUPLE MONTHS! PAY OFF THE CREDIT CARD ASAP!. You also may qualify for some loans at school to help you out @ a much lower interest rate. I HATE the credit card option, but it seems like once you get on your feet you will be ok.

hmm, I would definitely need some advice on easy online courses, as my planned class schedule for this semester would be difficult online, I feel:

University physics 1
Calc 2
Discreet Mathmatics
Programming Fundamentals (do-over, botched class drop)
Fundamentals of 3-d design.

I think I'll try Programming Fundamentals.

Good advice again, thanks.

[surfinillini]

I would advise against taking a semster off, my old roomate did that in the same situation as you and he never returned...he now is 24, no degree and bartends.

FINISH YOUR DEGREE - don't take a semester off

[ QUOTE ]
I would advise against taking a semster off, my old roomate did that in the same situation as you and he never returned...he now is 24, no degree and bartends.

FINISH YOUR DEGREE - don't take a semester off

[/ QUOTE ]

this is exactly my point. I want to finish school more than anything, more than my family could ever want me to, but I just dont see how I can do that all and get this all straight.

(the following may be skipped as it is completely full of dreamer content and is likely naive)
I couldnt live with myself if I let my voice go unheard because I was too lazy to get a damn degree.
(over)

i strongly recommend you reconsider taking a semester off. if you can get things in order before january, then by all means attend school. if you can't, however, going to school is going to be far, far worse than delaying graduation for a bit. how are you going to perform at school (and that's not the easiest course load i've seen) when you have no money and no means to get more? delaying graduation is not. a. big. deal. flunking out, however, is.

i may be biased, since i'll be going back to school in september after a five year break, but there's nothing wrong with deferring your education. some of the most successful people i know didn't attend college at all until their late 20s. many of my current friends are still in school. missing one semester, in comparison, is nothing.

By no means do I think it's wrong to go late, but this wouldnt be the first time I "took a semester off"... it would just be the first time I was forced to. The other times I was just lazy.

I think the happy middle ground might just be taking two classes online, since oh yeah, I just forgot all of my student loans would come due if I were less than half time.

yippee.

anyone had luck with online courses that were okay to take online? By this I mean you didnt feel you were at a huge disadvantage having no classroom setting.

i did a couple english courses online my first time through school. they were ridiculously easy. i assume history courses would be really easy too. any humanities requirements you still need to pick up?

[fyodor]

Get a job as a waiter. If you are 21 and intelligent and don't look like a circus freak this should be no problem. Take a job as a busboy if you have to and just bust your ass at it till they promote you. If tips suck where you start look for another job while you are still at the first one.

Waitering is an excellent job for students and you meet lots of hot waitresses at the same time.

I placed out of english courses with my english sat score... its kinda my strong point although I wanna be a programmer/3d animator (weird). I have both pre and post 1877 history

I also have psych 101 and philosophy 101, but I might do sociology. Did I miss any usual humanities requirements?

[cwsiggy]

One word of encouragement - I would kill to be your age again.
You are young. One semester off won't kill you - but only if you will truly go back ASAP. I'm leaning towards Surf's advice to finish. Definitely talk to your school's advisors.

[Blarg]

Your roommate's an irresponsible ass. Get her out of your life as soon as possible. Never loan her any money. Ever. Not even for a little thing. DO NOT GET A PHONE IN YOUR NAME that's a ground line. Whoever is in the place can be held financially responsible for the active phoneline there. And nobody can run up a phonebill like a ditzy irresponsible chick, especially when she thinks she's on the way out and can get away with not paying. When choosing between money and doing the right thing by you, virtually everybody will choose the money option. In future, be sure your phone is only available to you(not accessible through other jacks in the place), and that includes paying the hundreds of bucks it sometimes takes to get a new separate phone line put in. I guarantee you that you will save a LOT of money and an unbelievable amount of aggravation with roommates this way.

The money that irresponsible or dishonest roommates(it usually comes down to the same thing in the end) cost you can be very close to what it would cost you to get a modest place of your own. In the future, if possible, think hard about living alone, and keeping an eye out for cheap places you can do so. They may not be as nice or in as nice a neighborhood as a place you'd share with someone else. But so what; you take the good with the bad. A poor person cannot afford to be financially responsible for someone else. And nobody is more into being irresponsible or thinking they're clever than a young person just coming out into the world.

Being poor in college can suck very hard and turn it into a real grind and a hard part of your life. Most of your friends won't really understand, even if they think they do. That can be hard to live with and adapt to. But college doesn't last forever, and you might just come out with an exceptionally strong character and understanding of the world that surpasses that of many of your peers who were lucky enough to avoid learning a lot of the things you might learn. Karma in the bank or something, who knows.

Stick it out, get your degree. Take time off if you have to. That's what plenty of people do. Others have survived without a smooth ride, and you can too.

Learn to cook instead of eating food out. Learn to store stuff instead of throwing it away. Get the monthly bus pass if it's cheaper than the daily or weekly. Stay away from impulse buying and from credit, as they can bury you for months or years at a time and take away your margin for any pleasure at all in life. Life your life the best you can, and don't kid yourself it's anyone else's. Some guys are just going to be able to go on more ski weekends than you and go bar hopping and see movies more than you; you'll live.

Be sure you get all the student aid you can, be it loans, etc.

And when you apply for crappy jobs, don't tell them you're going back to school soon or ever. They don't need to know and will usually hold it against you.. When they ask what you want to be doing in five years, tell them what you think it will be pleasing to hear -- that you love to work hard but paradoxically have basically no ambition, to the extent that you want to work in the dead end job you're applying for for the rest of your life. You will get the job, and pay your bills. Pride is for people who can afford it.

Keep extra money in the bank if at all possible. When you're at rock bottom financially, almost anything can capsize your boat. Really ridiculously tiny things.

Remember it's only a few years of your life we're talking about. If it's pretty f*cked up, you'll get past it, and then you'll get over it.

[Rockatansky]

You should transfer to a school in Houston and live with your Mom while you finish your degree. I know it's not cool but it'll be cheap as hell.

[Blarg]

This is the best advice you're going to get.

There's no shame in it, though, and free or cheap rent among reliable people who won't steal from you is like hitting the lottery when it comes to trying to get through life as a young adult and go to college too.

Stick with that bargain of a lifetime as long as you can. It will never get that easy again.

[RacersEdge]

Your life is too frazzled now. Don't worry about missing a semester - that's not a big deal. Try to focus on being organized and disciplined for next few months - then take that mindest into the winter semester. Read books on being orgnaized and getting stuff done.

Try even getting the textbooks you will use in winter and start a self-study. You will then have it that much easier when classes start.

And the student loan people are some of the most flexible people around. Delaying your paybacks shouldn't be too hard.

Just stay away from things/people that divert your focus/energy.

Yeah, I have learned my lesson about roomates, I will extensively check out the people I will live with/rent a room out to in the future.

Honestly, I can and have supported myself with poker in the past, and my job will be a way to stay steady while I build up to my acceptable br level of 1000... which was depleted because I made the mistake of giving a crap about a family member and helping them out of debt.

Living with my family isnt really an option because A)I hate houston B) The way my family is, they suck the life out of me. I have ADHD, and sometimes I just dont remember to call/see my family, and they remind me of it at every possible opportunity. They make it so that I have no energy or willingness to go to school or anything, if that makes sense.

I will be moving to austin, but I just need to get [censored] straight. The only way I will not be taking two classes is if I can get the loan people to defer, which I very cynically doubt they will, no one hands anything out for free.

I will be gladly getting my own place once Im supporting myself with poker, as I average way more than enough to pay for 400 a month in rent, which I can find all day in San Marcos.

I know that this is a very important month for me, as the way things develop right now will affect my life directly and immensely for the coming years.

thanks for the advice and keep it coming. Btw, do books like that really help? I'd always thought of them as a gimmick (7 habits of effective poeple... come on).

[Blarg]

Getting books for your classes in advance, as Racersedge suggested, and studying them can be a huge leg up on all your opposition(other students).

[UCF THAYER]

Student loans or poker.
Whatever happened to you banging hot chicks and having the time of your life?

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Student loans or poker.
Whatever happened to you banging hot chicks and having the time of your life?

[/ QUOTE ]

its called being poor, and having to work to support myself.


actually I still do, when Im playing poker as my job (can work whenever there's nothign going on or pressing to study). This whole life thing is me trying to get myself set up to have the time of my life.