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View Full Version : ass eating trip report

12-06-2005, 08:10 PM
Inspired by the poll...I'm 25 now, this happened when I was 21. Brief history: I was your typical OOT loser in HS, and never got any. Got to college, had a few girlfriends, but has this misguided belief that sex should "mean something" and was still a virgin. Senior year, meet this exceedingly hot freshman on the XC team at a formal that I showed up late, drunk, and stag to. Steal her from her date, hook up for a month, and lose virginity. About a month after losing virginity, she's going down on me, and well, goes a bit farther south than normal. Obviously I'm a bit shocked, but it's quite good. After busting nut, I express my enjoyment of it. Her response, "You've never had a rimjob before? My...you are innocent."

A week or so later, I'm going down on her, and figure I'll give it a shot. I don't notice any hangers on, there's no foul taste/stench, and it's pretty much like licking her ear or something. No biggie. She gets into it, reaches into her endtable, grabs some lube, and asks me to SIIHP for the first time. Yeah, I oblige...

We broke up a few months later. In retrospect, this girl was about an 11/10 on the freakiness scale (threesomes, strapons, facials, clamps, (her) wearing a buttplug to class, etc) but she kind of got me into it. Next girl I dated was also into it, following had never done it but liked after I started it, and my (about to be) fiance is willing to do it after showers...so yeah, I think most girls will do it as long as you're relatively clean
SuitedSixes
12-06-2005, 08:13 PM
I miss college.
12-06-2005, 08:14 PM
Is it cheaper or more expensive than vaginal?
pooh74
12-06-2005, 08:16 PM
Are you reading this P-Dirty? Voltron?

You kids can learn something.
TheMainEvent
12-06-2005, 08:17 PM
[ QUOTE ]
"You've never had a rimjob before? My...you are innocent."


[/ QUOTE ]

awesome
phillydilly
12-06-2005, 08:19 PM
[ QUOTE ]
I miss college.

[/ QUOTE ]


/images/graemlins/frown.gif
PokerFink
12-06-2005, 08:23 PM
I am going to miss college.

I'm considering proposing this to my quasi girlfriend tonight.

<font color="white"> Quasi girlfriend does NOT mean imaginary or internet friend, bitches. It means we aren't dating, but sleeping together. In other words... the perfect girlfriend. </font>
12-06-2005, 08:24 PM
you had me at "wearing a buttplug to class"
12-06-2005, 08:33 PM
[ QUOTE ]
you had me at "wearing a buttplug to class"

[/ QUOTE ]

Girls like that make the world a better place.
jba
12-06-2005, 08:33 PM
[ QUOTE ]
I am going to miss college.

I'm considering proposing this to my quasi girlfriend tonight.

<font color="white"> Quasi girlfriend does NOT mean imaginary or internet friend, bitches. It means we aren't dating, but sleeping together. In other words... the perfect girlfriend. </font>

[/ QUOTE ]

this is not something to be proposed. it is something to be done.
craig r
12-06-2005, 08:37 PM
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I am going to miss college.

I'm considering proposing this to my quasi girlfriend tonight.

<font color="white"> Quasi girlfriend does NOT mean imaginary or internet friend, bitches. It means we aren't dating, but sleeping together. In other words... the perfect girlfriend. </font>

[/ QUOTE ]

this is not something to be proposed. it is something to be done.

[/ QUOTE ]

Well, it really depends when/where the proposing is done. Dinner, watching T.V., etc.. seem like acceptable times/places.

craig
siccjay
12-06-2005, 08:38 PM
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I am going to miss college.

I'm considering proposing this to my quasi girlfriend tonight.

<font color="white"> Quasi girlfriend does NOT mean imaginary or internet friend, bitches. It means we aren't dating, but sleeping together. In other words... the perfect girlfriend. </font>

[/ QUOTE ]

this is not something to be proposed. it is something to be done.

[/ QUOTE ]

It's like the kissing deal. If you ask, it doesn't get done.
PokerFink
12-06-2005, 08:44 PM
Yeah, by propose, I didn't mean getting down on my knees and going "babe, will you eat my ass out?"

I meant pushing her head further south.

-Fink
jba
12-06-2005, 08:51 PM
[ QUOTE ]
Yeah, by propose, I didn't mean getting down on my knees and going "babe, will you eat my ass out?"

I meant pushing her head further south.

-Fink

[/ QUOTE ]

I see; I misunderstood, I thought you would be the eater and not the eatee.

In this case, pushing her head further south is even worse than making a proposal. It's too ambivalent, she's apt to think your nutsac is just too dry and will end up just going to town there. It's confusing, and you need her mind to be fully concentrated on pleasing you, not wondering wtf you are trying to do.

Proper play: demand that she eat your ass. "lick that ass you little whore" should work well. pushing her head into place is appropriate at this point.

obviously you're going to need to work up to this point, don't just spring that out of nowhere.
B Dids
12-06-2005, 08:52 PM
I'm no expert, but I'm thinking you need to eat her ass first before you just try shoving her head into your butt as a means of foreplay.
lapoker17
12-06-2005, 08:56 PM
nice job op.

i wonder if ray zee read this.
bad beetz
12-06-2005, 09:00 PM
booyah
PokerFink
12-06-2005, 09:01 PM
jba,

Interesting idea. I'm not sure if she would go for that line though. And I would probably burst out laughing before I got the words out.

Anyways, on 2nd thought, this doesn't really appeal to me much anyway.

-Fink
MrTrik
12-06-2005, 09:22 PM
No hijack intended but the buttplug to class reminded me of something. I was on my third or fourth date with a woman once (first I'd dated since a divorce) and we were downtown Minneapolis. I'd hired a limo so we were bar hopping and getting pretty sh*tfaced along the way.

We stopped at a cool bar in the warehouse district named the Monte Carlo (Now one of my favorite places to hit when downtown) and we decided to take a little stroll before calling the limo guy (who was probably in a nearby parking lot getting a BJ).

We stumble across a 4 or 5 story department store called Sex World. We're hammered and all giggly and wander in. Great place. Anyway, before I write a novel on our experience that night, I'll get to the point.

We were wandering through one of the many toy sections and she spots a black dildo on the wall. You know, packaged with all kinds of 'sensational', 'hot lovin', types of things on the package. She says to me: "That seems a bit small for a dildo doesn't it?". Well I knew what it was and decided to investigate a bit.

Me: So you think it's small huh?
Her: Yeah, I mean it's kinda short and odd shaped too
Me: Wow, you must have lots of experience with this stuff huh?
Her: Well, yeah I like toys
Me: Hmmmm, do you realize what that is?
Her: Of course silly, it's a dildo. A woman's best friend (or some other Sex in the City reference).
Me: Oh, I thought the cucumber was a woman's best friend.
Her: &lt;laughs&gt;
Me: Listen babe, that is a buttplug. You stick it up your ass. If you still think it's small, wow, you are more experienced than I thought.

This thing was large for a buttplug. She was quite embarassed but laughing bigtime. I gave it as one of her many B-Day gifts a couple of months later as a joke. To my knowledge she never actually used it for it's intended purpose but she did laugh her ass off when she unwrapped. it.
kipin
12-06-2005, 09:25 PM
Dids,

"LOL"

Yours truly,
kipin
mason55
12-06-2005, 09:29 PM
[ QUOTE ]
I'm no expert, but I'm thinking you need to eat her ass first before you just try shoving her head into your butt as a means of foreplay.

[/ QUOTE ]

I had a girl once who loved nothing more than to give blowjobs and rimjobs. We're talking she enjoyed it more than sex. She refused to let me eat her out and said she absolutely never wanted a rimjob.

Wasn't really as cool as it sounds.
diebitter
12-06-2005, 09:30 PM
[ QUOTE ]

I had a girl once who loved nothing more than to give blowjobs and rimjobs. We're talking she enjoyed it more than sex. She refused to let me eat her out and said she absolutely never wanted a rimjob.

Wasn't really as cool as it sounds.

[/ QUOTE ]

GTFOH!
Sponger15SB
12-06-2005, 09:34 PM
It took me like 20 seconds to open this thread after seeing it because I was laughing my ass off and yet incredibly scared as to what I would find inside.
miajag81
12-06-2005, 09:40 PM
It cracks me up that Ray Zee's "brrr its cold" thread is right next to "ass eating trip report"
astroglide
12-06-2005, 09:42 PM
yeah i really liked the juxtaposition of ray/montana and random dudes eating ass. i was just amused by it as i clicked into this thread.
BeerMoney
12-06-2005, 10:03 PM
Best post I've read in a long, long time. TYVM
astroglide
12-06-2005, 10:18 PM
wow! i just looked at his mod profile to get some more details on him, see if he had any moderator notes, or whatever because this is a great post and he only has 22 of them. you guys would love to see his email address. come on, tell them your secret mindless!
mason55
12-06-2005, 11:37 PM
[ QUOTE ]
wow! i just looked at his mod profile to get some more details on him, see if he had any moderator notes, or whatever because this is a great post and he only has 22 of them. you guys would love to see his email address. come on, tell them your secret mindless!

[/ QUOTE ]

wait mods can leave notes on us? !@!!!!!
craig r
12-06-2005, 11:39 PM
Not only can we leave notes on you, but they will remain on your PERMANENT RECORD! YOUR PERMANENT RECORD!

craig
radek2166
12-06-2005, 11:49 PM
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
wow! i just looked at his mod profile to get some more details on him, see if he had any moderator notes, or whatever because this is a great post and he only has 22 of them. you guys would love to see his email address. come on, tell them your secret mindless!

[/ QUOTE ]

wait mods can leave notes on us? !@!!!!!

[/ QUOTE ]

I think astro has HUGE [censored] issues. Should see the PM he sent me
craig r
12-06-2005, 11:51 PM
[ QUOTE ]
wow! i just looked at his mod profile to get some more details on him, see if he had any moderator notes, or whatever because this is a great post and he only has 22 of them. you guys would love to see his email address. come on, tell them your secret mindless!

[/ QUOTE ]

Oh man, he needs to tell the @XXXXX.XXX part of his email address. It is classic.

craig
astroglide
12-07-2005, 02:23 AM
[ QUOTE ]
wait mods can leave notes on us?

[/ QUOTE ]

yeah. it's just informational stuff, like 'makes off-topic posts' or 'has been warned about flamewars' and 'temporary ban' and that sort of thing. just notes so that if another moderator goes in to do something to somebody's account, they have a sort of record as to what other ones have done and why.

radek is right by the way. i do have HUGE [censored] issues. i don't know what the censored part is though.
12-07-2005, 07:19 PM
Per astroglide's request, my email address ends in @alum.mit.edu

Apparently, this is funny due to some comments Sklansky made about my alma mater. I'm assuming DS wasn't referring to our epicurean delights, but if someone wants to send a link my way, I'd appreciate it.
Boris
12-07-2005, 07:42 PM
WTF OMG!!! mindless is Ed Miller's gimmick account!
astroglide
12-07-2005, 10:08 PM
it's not ed miller, but this post coming from an mit alum is quality stuff. craig and i are both disappointed in you guys.
slickpoppa
12-07-2005, 10:13 PM
[ QUOTE ]
Per astroglide's request, my email address ends in @alum.mit.edu

Apparently, this is funny due to some comments Sklansky made about my alma mater. I'm assuming DS wasn't referring to our epicurean delights, but if someone wants to send a link my way, I'd appreciate it.

[/ QUOTE ]

We now know that this part of the story:

[ QUOTE ]
Senior year, meet this exceedingly hot freshman on the XC team

[/ QUOTE ]

must be false. There are not any hot girls at MIT. You may have thought that she was hot, but that must have been the result of 4 years of MIT goggles.
gorie
12-07-2005, 10:47 PM
i think this thread should be stickied just because i enjoy reading the subject line in my thread list every day. i'd hate to see it fall to page 2.
diebitter
12-08-2005, 03:01 AM
[ QUOTE ]
i think this thread should be stickied just because i enjoy reading the subject line in my thread list every day. i'd hate to see it fall to page 2.

[/ QUOTE ]

Easy. Keep posting 'gorie ass eating' stories to keep it there.
12-08-2005, 03:13 AM
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
i think this thread should be stickied just because i enjoy reading the subject line in my thread list every day. i'd hate to see it fall to page 2.

[/ QUOTE ]

Easy. Keep posting 'gorie ass eating' stories to keep it there.

[/ QUOTE ]

and please dont confuse those with "gory ass easting" stories.

completely different