Shulman, Ivey, and $100

[Men the Master]

According to Jeff Shulman in his latest CardPlayer column (which btw I consider to be the most consistently thought provoking column in all of CP), Phil Ivey borrowed $100 from him to pay for a relaxing 30 minute massage by a Dahan Massage Institute graduate during a tourney at the Commerce. But Ivey has not paid him the money. Not only that, Ivey purposely cancelled three of his own cellular phone services in order to avoid being contacted.

Phil Ivey is obviously broke. He is also unethical. Phil Ivey is no longer my favorite poker player, idol, and hero. I am very disappointed in him. As far as Jeff Shulman goes, I will never read his columns again till the end of time. His hideous act of taking this miserable situation public is totally repugnant. /forums/images/icons/mad.gif

[JTG51]

Wow. That's all I can think of, wow.

I didn't read the article, but the whole thing sounds pretty amazing. I'm not sure if I'm more amazed at the possibility that Ivey is broke and stiffing Shulman out of $100 or that Shulman would write about it.

[Ed Miller]

CardPlayer isn't like Playboy, JTG... you're supposed to read the articles. In this case... I think it's probably a good idea.

[JTG51]

They have articles in Playboy?

I stopped reading CardPlayer regularly quite a while ago. Right about the time that Jim Brier stopped writing for them. Most of the articles seem to be a waste of time, except when Mason or Sklansky write something.

You convinced me to go read the online version of Shulman's article though. Am I dumb? Am I missing something? Is that article a joke?

[Timer]

Why don't you change your name that you use on this forum. You're obviously not the real "Men the Master," but the poorest excuse for a wannabe that I've ever seen.

You can't even come up with an original name.

Not only that, you're humor impaired.

Ploink.

[Ed Miller]

Is that article a joke?

Yes.

[Ed Miller]

Not only that, you're humor impaired.

Actually, I think the guy is kind of amusing... he posted a couple of other things that I thought were amusing as well. /forums/images/icons/smile.gif

[Men the Master]

I don't think the article is a joke. Normally, they have a smiling picture of Jeff. But this time he looks very serious. With "Neo" dark glasses and all. It's an eeeeevil article.

[Boris]

So which smells worse, Jeff Schulman's column or the whale eating alien space blob decomposing on a beach in south america?

[cferejohn]

You're kidding, right? I don't see any smileys in your message though, so maybe not. Could this article be more clearly a joke?

[slamdunkpro]

I dunno, reads more like sour grapes to me. /forums/images/icons/shocked.gif

[Men the Master]

Jeff's armpits.

[Men the Master]

Sour armpits.

[Rushmore]

...I read the article, and if this is supposed to be satirical, it breaks the first rule of satire:

IT GIVES NO INDICATION IT IS INTENDED AS SATIRE.

If there were some universally-acknowledged, immutable truth being contradicted ("Phil was unfairly utilizing x-ray vision, took all of my chips, sprouted wings, and flew out of the room"), we could logically assume this to be satire.

In this instance, for all we gentle lay-people (read: NOT big-time rubbing elbows with the big boys types) know, Phil has a dope habit, a craps habit, a golf habit, and a prostitute habit. We would have no way of knowing that it's unreasonable to believe he's broke (see: Stu Ungar).

Further, if this IS intended as satire, it's far too snide and condescending. If Jeff Shulman has lost touch with the fact that there are a LOT of people who read Card Player who would not know this was intended as a joke, I suppose they should maybe divide the magazine into two sections from now on: "Esoteria," and "For Dummies."

P.S. Change your handle. It's stupid for you to call yourself someone you're not. It's unseemly on several levels.

[Boris]

Duuude!!! was that really necessary?

[Rushmore]

[Kurn, son of Mogh]

I think the photo is the clue that the article is satire.

[Rushmore]

I did notice that, after the fact.

Maybe what I really meant to say was that subtlety is not generally Card Player's forte, and for this reason this particular attempt at satire was perhaps lost on many of us.

By "us," I refer, of course, to those people who have neither played with nor met the people in question. By "us," I mean the men and women of this great nation--nay, of THE WORLD!--who valiantly approach the cage and purchase not a rack, but 3 stacks of nickel chips. I refer, kind readers, to the foot soldiers of poker, the grunts, the, uh...

fish.

[Men the Master]

My sources have indicated to me that Jeff has allegedly read your post and is said to be very hurt by your scathing words. May the spirits of guilt follow you to your bed at night and riddle your heart with inexplicable feelings of regret for the dastardly act that you have committed here, and make peaceful rest and sleep all but impossible for you to achieve.

[Rushmore]

The "spirit of guilt" already follows me to my bed and does all of that which you have so maliciously wished upon me.

And it has nothing to do with Jeff Shulman.

But now it will, I guess.

Why has my God forsaken me?

Note: The overly florid language utilized in this post and the post to which it is in reply is a possible indicator of sarcasm and/or satire.

Secondary, less germane note: Men, your English seems to be improving at a remarkable pace. Last time I saw you, you were mostly just smiling, pulling in pots, and pointing at your Corona.

[Insp. Clue!So?]

"consistently thought-provoking column"

I agree. Whenever I read it, I think "how can someone who writes so incompetently, and offers such pedestrian thoughts (and in such a dull manner), possibly hold a senior editorship at a major trade magazine?"

[Ragnar]

Why does Shulman get to write the column and be a senior editor? He does play in poker tournaments, but his family owns the magazine.

Ragnar

[**MR.MANHATTAN**]

I really dig mens 4inch lifts.........why would someone want to be tall?.....

[**MR.MANHATTAN**]

Why knock it? Jeffs a lucky kid....had a nice upbringing ,good parents,mdidnt have to go to the skool of hard knocks..you know you wish you were living the chucky cheese life he is....nice position in the family biz,no worries that really apply, some lucky stripper out there is going to harpoon him and then you really gonna drool........the kids a nice harmless "lump".not a bad thing to be.......life wasnt no joke where i came from.........go JEFF u my hero dude!!!!!!!p.s. did you se my post on rpg where i apologized to js and family?..kool.

[Men the Master]

Perfectly said. Ragnar obviously has some immensely deep-seated feelings of morbid envy towards Jeff Shulman.

[Insp. Clue!So?]

I'm not sure just when the country decided meritocracy was a bad idea. I suppose the current occupant of the White House life experience has given new traction to the notion that lacking appropriate skills for a particular position and skirting by on daddy's coattails is a wise way to run things.

Really, Jeff Shulman's "writings" are often ungrammatical, generally lack wit, and are littered with redundancies. He seldom comments on any of the serious issues facing poker, even though he has a flagship column on the leading industry journal. For this we might be grateful, since what few ideas he does express are typically juvenile quips, pedestrian blurbs or obvious observations.

Is he the best person for the position? It is to laugh...
but since Cardplayer has an effective monopoly it can get away with plenty of silly gibberish.

They say he is "a nice guy". But there are plenty of nice guys who also have the added benefit of actually possessing the necessary skills for the position currently held by someone who, it is manifestly obvious, does not.

It has nothing to do with envy...the emperor has no clothes, and probably realizes it.

[Rushmore]

I must say that although I agree with a bit of what you have said, and although you seem to display a fine understanding of the language...

...your name is in no way clever, nor is it interesting or germane to a discussion about poker in any way.

This is, I believe, ironic.

[Kurn, son of Mogh]

Ironically, If I had a donkey who could write like Shulman, I'd be a millionaire /forums/images/icons/laugh.gif