OT: So there goes my bankroll...

[davehwm]

I think this is a signing off post, more than anything.

I know that none of you want to hear my bitching, so I'm really not going to bitch. Just lay out the situation and possibly ask for advice.

A little over year ago I started grinding out bonuses at .5/1. Got my bankroll up to $330 and started playing the $11s. Kept so-so stats and beat them for a measly 14% ROI over 800 games or so.

Started playing the $22s and didn't keep stats, for a number of reasons (none of which are probably very good ones). Took that $330 well to over $3500 in a couple of months, pretty consistently winning, 2-tabling mostly, never suffered any kind of major swing. Cashed out quite a few times and last month took a shot at the $33s with about $1000.

Dropped about 15 buy-ins in a matter of a week and moved back down to the $22s. Looking back on it, I probably tilted away a good portion of the rest of the bankroll. Played the $11s for about a week but was so bored/frustrated that I basically gave up.

I'm not a very good card player, in general. I had played semi-decent push-fold poker, had plenty of leaks, played on a pretty big heater for a few months, handled a downswing poorly and have a big fat .36 cents in my Party account right now. I thought I knew what I was doing, but I really didn't. It's almost like I forget how I used to play at the $22s when everything was going so well.

Now that I've typed all of this out, I don't even think I need advice. I could put $100 of my own money back in and start grinding out the bonuses again, but I don't know if it's even worth my time. It's kind of hard to just start all over again.

If any of you want to give me any advice, go ahead. But I think I'm just signing off and saying thanks for all of the posts. I never made as much of an effort on these boards as I should of and I know my game suffered because of it.

I'm just another one of Irieguy's predictions, here one day and gone the next.

Take care.

[1C5]

How exactly did you lose your $3500 or did you cash out a bunch of it?

{{davehwm}} Hug.

[davehwm]

[ QUOTE ]
How exactly did you lose your $3500 or did you cash out a bunch of it?

[/ QUOTE ]

Sorry if that wasn't clear. Over the whole period of time I cashed out increments here and there totaling about $2500. Leaving me with $1000 to play the $33s.

[1C5]

Any good player can lose $1000 in the 33s. Hell I just lost $500 tonite in the $22s.

[davehwm]

[ QUOTE ]
Any good player can lose $1000 in the 33s. Hell I just lost $500 tonite in the $22s.

[/ QUOTE ]

Yeah, I hear that. But I lost about $500 at the 33s, which I didn't think was totally crazy. I still dropped back down to the $22s, with close to a 30 buy-in bankroll. The downswing just continued back at the $22s but, now that I look back at it, really involved a lot of tilt.

I honestly think I'd just never experienced a major downswing before and had no idea how to deal with the tilt. It was a downward spiral.

[bawcerelli]

i lost $500 at the $27's in one day...and gained it all back that same day. as far as advice goes, leave the game until you remember that you're good, then deposit some dough and start grinding with us again.

[bawcerelli]

[ QUOTE ]

I honestly think I'd just never experienced a major downswing before and had no idea how to deal with the tilt. It was a downward spiral.

[/ QUOTE ]

people underestimate how psychological this game is. you'll be back, stronger than ever.

[davehwm]

I really do appreciate the kind words. My mistake is not keeping stats. I could give a good estimate of how many games I played if I sat down and crunched the numbers. I just went about the whole thing pretty irresponsibly. I was confident at the time that I was a winning player at the $22s.

If I do come back and give it another shot, it'll be done in a whole new way, and will be after the new year.

[SlackerMcFly]

[ QUOTE ]
If any of you want to give me any advice, go ahead. But I think I'm just signing off and saying thanks for all of the posts. I never made as much of an effort on these boards as I should of and I know my game suffered because of it.

[/ QUOTE ]

The operative word here is effort. You might also add in passion if you like.

Sounds to me like you do have a good understanding of the basics and can/will be a winning player in the long run if you will devote some "caring" about the game to your efforts.

Irie (and others) have also said that if they had quit the game every time they got frustrated or lost a bunch, it would have cost them thousands in the long run.

Quit if you like, study and improve if you enjoy the game.

Best wishes either way. Slacker

[Irieguy]

[ QUOTE ]


I'm just another one of Irieguy's predictions, here one day and gone the next.


[/ QUOTE ]

I hope you understand (I imagine you do) that my prediction about the longevity and fate of the vast majority of 2+2 STTF posters is not meant to be a malicious "I told you so."

Rather, it is simply a reflection of the fact that being a consistent winner at poker is both more difficult, and much rarer than it is made to seem on this forum.

Having said that, it is important to stress that there is really only one reason to play poker, and one reason to quit. Those reasons are converses of one another, and have little to do with winning or losing money.

On a more personal level, I would like to applaud your humility and candor. Ironically, the method in which you chose to quit the game has made you a much better poker player.

Irieguy

[Hendricks433]

1000 isnt nearly enough for the 33's. Go back reread books and or read new ones. Start over again and just be smarter with your BR. By the time you moved down to the 22's with 30 buy ins your in tilt and thats still a littl low on Buy ins. I know how it feels I had $1500 and then cashes out to $900 and lost it all playing $33's. I felt like such a douchebag. I reread my books and rebought with $50. Now Im back to $1600 ish and 6 tabling the 11's. Takes alot of hard work man but sounds like you just need your confidence back. GL.

[durron597]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
How exactly did you lose your $3500 or did you cash out a bunch of it?

[/ QUOTE ]

Sorry if that wasn't clear. Over the whole period of time I cashed out increments here and there totaling about $2500. Leaving me with $1000 to play the $33s.

[/ QUOTE ]

That means if you redeposited you would still be in the black.

[Hendricks433]

yeah I know what you mean. When I lost it I saw how I woulda done everything differently. Youll make it back fine. Just take your time and be Patient.

[davehwm]

[ QUOTE ]

I hope you understand (I imagine you do) that my predictions about the longevity and fate of the vast majority of 2+2 STTF posters is not meant to be a malicious "I told you so."

Rather, it is simply a reflection of the fact that being a consistent winner at poker is both more difficult, and much rarer than it is made to seem on this forum.


[/ QUOTE ]

Yes, I do understand, now more than ever.

[ QUOTE ]

Having said that, it is important to stress that there is really only one reason to play poker, and one reason to quit. Those reasons are converses of one another, and have little to do with winning or losing money.


[/ QUOTE ]

Which I suppose is why this may have been more of a venting thread than anything. It'll take some self-reflection and time, but I do love playing the game.

[ QUOTE ]

On a more personal level, I would like to applaud your humility and candor. Ironically, the method in which you chose to quit the game has made you a much better poker player.

[/ QUOTE ]

Thanks for the post.

[davehwm]

[ QUOTE ]
That means if you redeposited you would still be in the black.

[/ QUOTE ]

Good point. It puts things a little bit more back into perspective.

Although that money is long gone, I may be able to scrounge up enough to start grinding some bonuses or playing the $11s again after the new year.

[Freudian]

Don't forget that despite you feeling down on yourself you have been a winning player. Everyone here knows that when you are wading through the mud of a downswing it feels like crap.

[runner4life7]

when i started at the 30s i had a 35 buy in downswing over my last 800 or so things have been better than i could have hoped, so a few days off is good for you. But puting in some studying and getting back in it might not be as bad of an idea as you think. Have a little confidence in yourself and you wont make as many tilt moves because you are confident that the moves you make are right.

[TheNoodleMan]

A downswing im poker is just like a downswing in anything else in life.
My advise would be to look at something else in your life for inspiration. If you are married, I'd bet that there was a time before the wedding that you and your spouse almost parted ways. If you aren't married, I'm sure you get the idea anyway.
If we quit things in life because of diffucult times, we will never get to the summit. Quitting is easy, but fighting through the bad times is far more rewarding.

[microbet]

If your goal has been to play poker and win money, you have done that.

If you are upset because you haven't moved up and started making big money, you should understand that that is very difficult if you need to cash out most of your winnings.

Anyway, best of luck either way. We'll save a spot for you here.

I feel for you, man. I'm not in too dissimilar a spot right now. I've been downswinging for a month and can't figure out why. I have taken a break for the past week and will probably take another week off. I was only a few seconds away from quitting though.

This is a game we love for more reasons than most of us can explain. But I'd wager that a big part of the reason we love also contributes to the reason it can almost break us - because we're truly passionate about it and when things don't go our way for an extended period of time, it gets really tough to take.

Take a minivacation from the game and come back after your head is clear. I'm hoping that helps me and I'm hoping that it helps you too.

[kevstreet]

[ QUOTE ]
Hell I just lost $500 tonite in the $22s.

[/ QUOTE ]

FWIW I'm down 30+ buy-ins at the $22s over the last 3 weeks. After one year of consistant winning I've hit a wall over the last 30 days.

I know how you feel OP, as does everyone on this site. It sure makes you question your ability. Take some time off and give it another try. Good luck.

[xJMPx]

Personally I have found that a downswing like you are describing was very good for me.

I started at the $5+1s at party after depositing $100. Then I posted on here and people suggested to play the 10s because of the rake. I did, even though I was way under bankrolled.

Anyway, I ran a heater all the way to the 33s in a short time. I was using the 20x buy-in rule. I only played 14 22s with a 50% ITM and a 95% ROI. Boy, was this game easy!

So, with those 14 22s under my belt, I had 20x buy-ins for the 33s. Well, the heater continued and I ran my profits up to about $2500 in just a couple months of single tabling a few hours a week.

Then, I hit a couple almost 20x buy-in drops within a couple weeks and was a break even player through November and my confidence had sunk way down.

So, how was this good for me. I've been putting a lot more work into my game. Being in a downswing, it is easier to identify your leaks, and then you can post on here to plug them. I've moved back to the 22s and have gained my confidence again and I really feel my game has improved leaps and bounds through my downswing.

Just keep working and I think you'll fine.

Its funny I stumbled upon your post at 5 in the morning before going to bed and having two huge essays due on Monday which I haven't started, but I just had to finish reading all the responses. I'm another person in the same boat, been playing poker since the summer, my lastest party account started at 130$ i started playing 10$ SnGs(couple weeks ago) and worked my way up to 33$ and was at 1185 36 hours ago. Now i'm at 600 something. I've suffered a couple big losses in my short poker career but every time it happens it feels like its new all over again. This time I'm not depressed or anything but the worst of it all when you're losing is you can't leave the game and you do so while having the most doubt in your ability to play. It seems that you're not a bad poker player but just suffering a sizable variance + tilt, the comforting thing is you're still up overall(even though we always blow the winnings quickly). Irieguy brought up a very good point in his reply where he pointed out that being a consistent poker winner is much more difficult than this forum makes it look like. I haven't had enough posting experience to know how frequently replies usually go but I think this is a lot of replies for a couple days. Looks like a lot more people are in the same boat as we are and its something we all go through. And going through these bad times is in my opinion the hardest trial a poker player has to endure. We should have more posts like this to help players cope.

[spliff]

[ QUOTE ]
1000 isnt nearly enough for the 33's. Go back reread books and or read new ones. Start over again and just be smarter with your BR. By the time you moved down to the 22's with 30 buy ins your in tilt and thats still a littl low on Buy ins. I know how it feels I had $1500 and then cashes out to $900 and lost it all playing $33's. I felt like such a douchebag. I reread my books and rebought with $50. Now Im back to $1600 ish and 6 tabling the 11's. Takes alot of hard work man but sounds like you just need your confidence back. GL.

[/ QUOTE ]

I'm playing 11$ (hoping to advance to 33's or 55's within a coulple of months).

The only poker-reading i have ever done is posts here on 2+2.

What good books are there on STT ?

Isn't it sufficient to just read posts here on 2+2 when playing STT's, wanting to play the higher limits ?