How Important is a Woman's Weight

[Utah]

Lets say you really liked a woman and you made a strong connection to her over email, phone, and IM and you too spend hours a night talking to her. Lets also say that she was your complete sexual fantasy and she would do the things to you in bed that you only dream about a woman doing and that would blow your doors off. Finally, you have seen a picture of her face and it is absolutely gorgeous.

The downside is that she is somewhat overweight. However, it doesnt seem to affect her and she is totally confident and at ease with herself.

Would her being overweight affect you and turn you off or would all the other things simply make it not matter?

[d10]

How much overweight?

[TomCollins]

[ QUOTE ]
Lets say you really liked a woman and you made a strong connection to her over email, phone, and IM and you too spend hours a night talking to her. Lets also say that she was your complete sexual fantasy and she would do the things to you in bed that you only dream about a woman doing and that would blow your doors off. Finally, you have seen a picture of her face and it is absolutely gorgeous.

The downside is that she is somewhat overweight. However, it doesnt seem to affect her and she is totally confident and at ease with herself.

Would her being overweight affect you and turn you off or would all the other things simply make it not matter?

[/ QUOTE ]

always get pictures first. If they rea all headshots, shes a fatass.

[UCF THAYER]

Depends on how much "somewhat" is, and also your definition of overweight.

yes.

[LondonBroil]

[ QUOTE ]
How much overweight?

[/ QUOTE ]

Same question. 10-20 pounds overweight and 100-150 pounds overweight are completely different.

MCFTP

[mslif]

I think you have to be physically and intellectually attracted to a person to make it work. How can she be your sexual fantasy if you yourself are not into overweight women?

this thread is utterly useless without pics

[dcasper70]

[ QUOTE ]
http://i8.photobucket.com/albums/a40/dcasper70/needpics.gif

[/ QUOTE ]

FYP

[JinX11]

[ QUOTE ]
this thread is udderly useless without pics

[/ QUOTE ]

fyp

casper,

glad someone could correct my gaffe. i looked for it and couldnt find it. i didnt look too hard.

corrected,
yasher

Call me a cynic, but why worry about it? They all end up fat eventually anyway.

[PokerGoblin]

[ QUOTE ]
Lets say you really liked a woman and you made a strong connection to her over email, phone, and IM and you too spend hours a night talking to her. Lets also say that she was your complete sexual fantasy and she would do the things to you in bed that you only dream about a woman doing and that would blow your doors off. Finally, you have seen a picture of her face and it is absolutely gorgeous.

The downside is that she is somewhat overweight. However, it doesnt seem to affect her and she is totally confident and at ease with herself.

Would her being overweight affect you and turn you off or would all the other things simply make it not matter?

[/ QUOTE ]

The only question is does it matter to you?

Why the hell do all these people come on here to see if they should be attracted to someone?

But, since you seem to need some sort of affirmation, I'd probably [censored] her.

PG

[M2d]

more cushion for the pushin'

[Utah]

lol - it is my wife who asked and I find her stunning. She lacks confidence and I told her that a man is far more likely to be turned off my the confidence than the weight.

She has been chatting with a guy who she flirts with a ton. She said she would be afraid to meet him. I think it wouldnt matter with all the other killer qualities she has.

[bones]

[ QUOTE ]
lol - it is my wife who asked and I find her stunning. She lacks confidence and I told her that a man is far more likely to be turned off my the confidence than the weight.

She has been chatting with a guy who she flirts with a ton. She said she would be afraid to meet him. I think it wouldnt matter with all the other killer qualities she has.

[/ QUOTE ]

Wait...what?

[Utah]

lets say 20-25

umm let me get this straight... this is your wife? WTF

[imported_anacardo]

[ QUOTE ]
lol - it is my wife who asked and I find her stunning. She lacks confidence and I told her that a man is far more likely to be turned off my the confidence than the weight.

She has been chatting with a guy who she flirts with a ton. She said she would be afraid to meet him. I think it wouldnt matter with all the other killer qualities she has.

[/ QUOTE ]

I'm... terribly confused. Are you helping your wife give you the horns? Please do not be offended if that is not the case.

Utah,

Are ya'll swingers?

Curiously,
yasher

[PokerGoblin]

[ QUOTE ]
lol - it is my wife who asked and I find her stunning. She lacks confidence and I told her that a man is far more likely to be turned off my the confidence than the weight.

She has been chatting with a guy who she flirts with a ton. She said she would be afraid to meet him. I think it wouldnt matter with all the other killer qualities she has.

[/ QUOTE ]

I just became highly disturbed.

Utah,
You want your wife to flirt with this guy?

sco

i'm so confused and freakin out

[radek2166]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Lets say you really liked a woman and you made a strong connection to her over email, phone, and IM and you too spend hours a night talking to her. Lets also say that she was your complete sexual fantasy and she would do the things to you in bed that you only dream about a woman doing and that would blow your doors off. Finally, you have seen a picture of her face and it is absolutely gorgeous.

The downside is that she is somewhat overweight. However, it doesnt seem to affect her and she is totally confident and at ease with herself.

Would her being overweight affect you and turn you off or would all the other things simply make it not matter?

[/ QUOTE ]

The only question is does it matter to you?

Why the hell do all these people come on here to see if they should be attracted to someone?

But, since you seem to need some sort of affirmation, I'd probably [censored] her.

PG

[/ QUOTE ]


NH sir!!

[bones]

[ QUOTE ]
lol - it is my wife who asked and I find her stunning. She lacks confidence and I told her that a man is far more likely to be turned off my the confidence than the weight.

She has been chatting with a guy who she flirts with a ton. She said she would be afraid to meet him. I think it wouldnt matter with all the other killer qualities she has.

[/ QUOTE ]

So if you boys like, you can go on inside, get yourselves something to drink, wash up, [censored] my wife, watch TV - anything you want. Mi casa es su casa. Just don't do anything the Good Lord wouldn't do.

[radek2166]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
lol - it is my wife who asked and I find her stunning. She lacks confidence and I told her that a man is far more likely to be turned off my the confidence than the weight.

She has been chatting with a guy who she flirts with a ton. She said she would be afraid to meet him. I think it wouldnt matter with all the other killer qualities she has.

[/ QUOTE ]

I just became highly disturbed.

[/ QUOTE ]

Y are U highly disturbed? He wants to let his wife get a little on the side more power to him. Mind U I could not do that but, more power to him.

[Oblivious]

Its okay to be turned off if someone is overweight. It doesnt make you insensitive. You might look past it since she turns you on in other ways, but it will bother you just like any other trait that turns you off will continue to bother you. If youre going to get serious with someone, you'll eventually have to face these things that bother you.

bones,

I need to get hilariously stoned and watch that movie again. Thanks for reminding me.

yasher

[Brainwalter]

pm me your wife's number.

Utah,
Where is your response?

Inquiringly,
sco

Jinx,
Well played.

Utah,
WTF???

Also, anyone else find themselves more attracted to curvy/fat chicks as they grow older?

Confusedly,
DP

[IndieMatty]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
lol - it is my wife who asked and I find her stunning. She lacks confidence and I told her that a man is far more likely to be turned off my the confidence than the weight.

She has been chatting with a guy who she flirts with a ton. She said she would be afraid to meet him. I think it wouldnt matter with all the other killer qualities she has.

[/ QUOTE ]

Wait...what?

[/ QUOTE ]

[IndieMatty]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
lol - it is my wife who asked and I find her stunning. She lacks confidence and I told her that a man is far more likely to be turned off my the confidence than the weight.

She has been chatting with a guy who she flirts with a ton. She said she would be afraid to meet him. I think it wouldnt matter with all the other killer qualities she has.

[/ QUOTE ]

I just became highly disturbed.

[/ QUOTE ]

Y are U highly disturbed? He wants to let his wife get a little on the side more power to him. Mind U I could not do that but, more power to him.

[/ QUOTE ]

no

[tolbiny]

Again- is this 20-25 pounds over average, or 20-25 over fit and slim?

Also, is you wife trying to nail some other dude Others have asked, and we are all confuzzed as PJN was about pokerjo.

lastly, i don't get any ass, i would [censored] her and then be disgusted with her for sleeping with me. then dunp her and obsess about someone else.
what a whore

[Utah]

lol. No. However, I dont get jealous at all with these stupid things. She has been a housewife for 10 years and she has been raising our kids. Now, she is in her mid 30s and a bit curious. We have a mutual friend who is a professional dominatrix (met her through normal means) who sent my wife a link to a site called adultfriends or something like that. We went on as a lark and she found some guy interesting, so she is having a bit of fun and it is good to see her feel sexy and like a woman again as opposed to a mom.

She is not planning on doing anything (i think. lol) but we got in this stupid discussion so i posted the question here.

introduce her to craigslist. perhaps she could find an occupation...

Utah,

OOT has the potential to make you feel very very bad about posting something like that here. On the other hand, I hope everything is fine!

sco

[DcifrThs]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
this thread is udderly useless without pics

[/ QUOTE ]

fyp

[/ QUOTE ]

AWESOME if intentional.

Barron

[Eurotrash]

edit: woops, you already explained

[ QUOTE ]
lol. No. However, I dont get jealous at all with these stupid things. She has been a housewife for 10 years and she has been raising our kids. Now, she is in her mid 30s and a bit curious. We have a mutual friend who is a professional dominatrix (met her through normal means) who sent my wife a link to a site called adultfriends or something like that. We went on as a lark and she found some guy interesting, so she is having a bit of fun and it is good to see her feel sexy and like a woman again as opposed to a mom.

She is not planning on doing anything (i think. lol) but we got in this stupid discussion so i posted the question here.

[/ QUOTE ]
Suuuuuure she doesn't want to do anything with this guy. Wake up. Trouble brewing. You a chubby chaser?

This place gets wierder every [censored] day. Are you called Utah because you're from there? Are you mormons by chance?

[Alobar]

well I wouldnt spend all my time getting to know her over the internet or whatever, so I dont see this situation happening.

but yeah, if she was fat it would kill the deal. Im athletic and in really good shape, Im attracted to women of the same. I enjoy being active and doing outdoorsy stuff with my significant other, so its not like we are going to have much in common there. Sure shes prolly a great person and all that, but we are going to be too different for it to work.

edited to add: I Read the responses. Thats a bit messed up, but whatever, different strokes for different folks. If you wife is over 20 she needent feel fat, shes normal, every chick over 30 is fat.

[Scotch78]

I don't know how much faith I'd be able to put in an online courtship, but I am finding out that weight doesn't matter anywhere near as much as I thought it would. I am currently in one of those relationships where you see the couple in public and think, "WTF!?!" Why the hell is s/he with him/her. Because I love her that much and she's that good of a person. Does her weight bother me? A little. Does what other people think about her/us bother me? Yes. But no matter who I date, I know that something about her will bother me. The simple fact is that I would much rather it be her weight than something like being a workaholic who would miss kids' soccer games or an immature bitch who makes an excuse to go home/hang up everytime a conversation gets emotional (both reasons why I've given up on a girl).

Scott

Scott,

I hope she lets you SIIH(Extremely Large)P.

[Utah]

no. I named it for Johnny Utah from the classic Point Break.

[Utah]

response to what?

[PokerGoblin]

[ QUOTE ]
lol. No. However, I dont get jealous at all with these stupid things. She has been a housewife for 10 years and she has been raising our kids. Now, she is in her mid 30s and a bit curious. We have a mutual friend who is a professional dominatrix (met her through normal means) who sent my wife a link to a site called adultfriends or something like that. We went on as a lark and she found some guy interesting, so she is having a bit of fun and it is good to see her feel sexy and like a woman again as opposed to a mom.

She is not planning on doing anything (i think. lol) but we got in this stupid discussion so i posted the question here.

[/ QUOTE ]

Dude, I am no one to judge, but I think something is seriously lacking in your relationship.

[ QUOTE ]
lol. No. However, I dont get jealous at all with these stupid things. She has been a housewife for 10 years and she has been raising our kids. Now, she is in her mid 30s and a bit curious. We have a mutual friend who is a professional dominatrix (met her through normal means) who sent my wife a link to a site called adultfriends or something like that. We went on as a lark and she found some guy interesting, so she is having a bit of fun and it is good to see her feel sexy and like a woman again as opposed to a mom.

She is not planning on doing anything (i think. lol) but we got in this stupid discussion so i posted the question here.

[/ QUOTE ]

You're crazy. She's gonna be [censored] him within two months guaranteed. Accepting action on this.

[jaydub]

Utah,

I'm sorry to be the one to tell you this but you share that bitch.

As for the question, no. I cannot respect someone who has no respect for themselves. Therefore no fat chicks. Additionally I found the idea of developing an online relationship to be amusing, and I mean amusing in a highly condescending way.

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
lol - it is my wife who asked and I find her stunning. She lacks confidence and I told her that a man is far more likely to be turned off my the confidence than the weight.

She has been chatting with a guy who she flirts with a ton. She said she would be afraid to meet him. I think it wouldnt matter with all the other killer qualities she has.

[/ QUOTE ]

So if you boys like, you can go on inside, get yourselves something to drink, wash up, [censored] my wife, watch TV - anything you want. Mi casa es su casa. Just don't do anything the Good Lord wouldn't do.

[/ QUOTE ]

Quoting Freakshow? Your stock just went up in my book, mah friend.

http://www.theonion.com/content/files/images/onion_news1064.article.jpg

[Utah]

"Dude, I am no one to judge, but I think something is seriously lacking in your relationship."

Nope. We are perfect with each other and deeply in love. We are best friends who never fight and who laugh constantly. I am completely secure about my relationship with my wife and I secure about who I am.

I am a bit shocked by all the responses. Is it because you are all so young here? Why is everyone surprised that a woman with a husband would flirt with a guy, be attracted to a guy, or have a little fantasy in their heads to spice up their lives?

Do you all think that your women are just so damn satisfied and that you are just so damn good in bed that hat they dont crave other men on occassion? I wonder if the 50% of men whose marriages end in divorce thought the same thing?

You never fight? Never? Ever? Not even once? Not even a little bit?

Its very clear now that this whole thing is a fabrication.

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
lol - it is my wife who asked and I find her stunning. She lacks confidence and I told her that a man is far more likely to be turned off my the confidence than the weight.

She has been chatting with a guy who she flirts with a ton. She said she would be afraid to meet him. I think it wouldnt matter with all the other killer qualities she has.

[/ QUOTE ]

I just became highly disturbed.

[/ QUOTE ]

Y are U highly disturbed? He wants to let his wife get a little on the side more power to him. Mind U I could not do that but, more power to him.

[/ QUOTE ]

lol nh

[ononimo]

[ QUOTE ]
I am a bit shocked by all the responses. Is it because you are all so young here? Why is everyone surprised that a woman with a husband would flirt with a guy, be attracted to a guy, or have a little fantasy in their heads to spice up their lives?

[/ QUOTE ]

you must admit that there's a difference between idle flirtation or fantasy and what's going on here ...

[Utah]

"You never fight? Never? Ever? Not even once? Not even a little bit?"

Never. Not even a little bit. This might sound sucky and probably breaks some guy code, but I treat her as my queen and I do everything in my power to make her happy - protect her, romance her constantly, clean around the house, take care of the kids, be her best friend, what ever it takes. I havent disrespected her is any way in about forever. I do this while holding down a high pressure consulting job. I also dont do it for a day, week, or month at a time. I do it always.

But, it is still a 2 way street. She never nags (because there is no reason), she never feels bitterness or anger towards me, she feels sexy around me because I complement her constantly, and she always has a smile on her face. Basically, I get it all the time.

Thay may sound so pathetic, and it probably is. But I would rather be pathetically happy that to live in a bad marriage or get divorced.

btw - it wasnt always this way. For most of our marriage I was your typical guy and she was the typical mom/wife and we were on the fast track to divorce.

[Aloysius]

Utah - you are either the most well adjusted person in the world when it comes to marriage (allowing, nay encouraging, something that is clearly more than idle flirtation with % chance it leads to you being cuckolded), or you are in massive denial.

I would love to hear Dominic weigh in on this.

-Al

[jaydub]

Utah,

Does she have your balls locked up in a safe deposit box or just on the dresser so you can occasionally look at them.

Curiously yours,
Jay

[imported_anacardo]

Whew. Gettin' a little defensive there; understandable, though. Still - I can't see how you could not have anticipated this flavor of response.

Anyway - how far are you willing to let this extend? I certainly have no experience with this sort of thing. I guess - I guess - I would run a train on a girl with a friend I trusted, if that were her all-time fantasy, but I certainly wouldn't want to participate directly with the dude, nor would I feel comfortable with her going solo on the guy if this were a serious, committed deal. Also, It's Only Fair would of course dictate reciprocation with a third girl. And what about your kids, if any?


Seems like a lot of complicated trouble for the payoff, is all. I mean, good luck...

[ononimo]

[ QUOTE ]
Utah - you are either the most well adjusted person in the world when it comes to marriage (allowing, nay encouraging, something that is clearly more than idle flirtation with % chance it leads to you being cuckolded), or you are in massive denial.

[/ QUOTE ]

there is a 3rd option: some dudes are just into being cuckolded ...

[Utah]

lol. That is what my best friend says to me all the time when I say I am not going to the bar to watch the football game. Side note - my best friend is getting a divorce and he is miserable with his life.

It is not about being a pussy or a wimp. It is just about pleasing your woman so that she pleases you back with what you deserve.

For example, today I booked a secret date to fly her to chicago for a night where we are going to dine at the Four Seasons and stay at the Drake. Now, that might be sucky, but do you know how much sex I am going to get and how much effort she will put into it??

[JihadOnTheRiver]

nice

[imported_anacardo]

[ QUOTE ]
nice

[/ QUOTE ]

As weird as this all is, he's still keeping it way realer than either one of you jokers.

[jaydub]

Utah,

Given the choice between the lifestyle you describe and never being married, I would go the Bill Maher route. Fortunately there is a third option of not marrying a controlling, overbearing woman who cheats on you.

Chicago trip sounds like fun, what am I missing there?

Puzzled,

Jay

[Utah]

I am pretty well adjusted and incredibly happy. I really need nothing in my life at the moment.

So, lets say that she does get a little action on the side. so what? I would not like it but I would probably be happy for her if it made her feel happy and brought her joy. She is my soul mate and there is about 0% chance she would ever leave me. She does not sneak around with this and she tells me whatever I want to know and lets me read any letter he writes to her. However, it all seems pretty damn innocent.

btw - the guy she is flirting with is married and miserable and thinks his bitter wife is a bitch. Well, that is his fault, not his wife's.

[lastchance]

To Utah: o0? There's either something seriously right or seriously wrong with you...

As for the answer to the question, I wouldn't mind a bit (if she was smart, funny, confident), considering I'm not the most good-looking guy in the universe.

[Aloysius]

Utah - I'm curious - are you comparing taking your wife on a romantic trip (an annoying thing to do) for the upside of great sex, to allowing your wife to flirt with some random dude (an annoying thing to do) for some similar upside? See - the analogy breaks down because unlike the romantic getaway, where there's high guarantee of ONLY positive event, letting her flirt with random dude, there's a % chance of BOTH upside and downside! I guess you must have 100% confidence in her fidelity...

edit: just read your response. OK man, that's cool. I hope though, for your sake, if she does cheat on you you're cool with it. I know for most people that's not an easy thing to bear.

Ononimo - are there really dudes who enjoy being cuckolded? Also, I didn't check back on that thread, do you have any more pics of the smokin' Brazilian chick on the left? Please post - ty!

-Al

[ononimo]

[ QUOTE ]
Now, that might be sucky, but do you know how much sex I am going to get and how much effort she will put into it??

[/ QUOTE ]

Do you get to go first or do you have to settle for sloppy seconds after the new guy?

[ononimo]

[ QUOTE ]
Also, I didn't check back on that thread, do you have any more pics of the smokin' Brazilian chick on the left?

[/ QUOTE ]

unfortunately, i only took that one "show the friends back home" photo. at this point, i don't even remember their names.

[citanul]

[ QUOTE ]
For example, today I booked a secret date to fly her to chicago for a night where we are going to dine at the Four Seasons and stay at the Drake. Now, that might be sucky, but do you know how much sex I am going to get and how much effort she will put into it??

[/ QUOTE ]

meh.

remember to do tea at the drake.

i've not heard anything special about the 4 seasons (for food), so i wish you the best of luck. i don't know how familiar you are with chicago or anything like that, but if i were staying at the drake, i'd try to do dinner across the street, at either spiaggia or cafe spiaggia. spiaggia = high end italian ($100+), cafe spiaggia is the same kitchen, limited menu, smaller menu, whatever, appetizers in the $10 range, entrees in the $25 range, good, creative wine list. best tiramisu i've had on this continent. place is simply amazingly good. you can usually do a table for 2 at the cafe on short notice, i don't know about the main dining room.

glad you're having fun,

c

[gorie]

utah, i don't think what you are describing sounds that weird considering you don't seem to be bothered by it. my bf isn't really the jealous type either so i can kind of understand. i tell him about my crushes and stuff, it's not a big deal because we don't make it one.

i mean i don't see what the big deal is when you are both being open about the situation.

for all we know you enjoy the thought of some random guy wanting your wife. and if you did i don't think that is weird either.

[diebitter]

Field Marshall Obvious: If she's attractive to you, then it doesn't matter at all. (PS. This is so darn obvious, he got a temporary field promotion)

[ononimo]

[ QUOTE ]
utah, i don't think what you are describing sounds that weird considering you don't seem to be bothered by it. my bf isn't really the jealous type either so i can kind of understand. i tell him about my crushes and stuff, it's not a big deal because we don't make it one.

i mean i don't see what the big deal is when you are both being open about the situation.

for all we know you enjoy the thought of some random guy wanting your wife. and if you did i don't think that is weird either.

[/ QUOTE ]

so if your bf told you about some random chick he was flirting with online and then asked you if you thought she'd be attracted to him when they met in person ... no big deal?

[garion888]

[ QUOTE ]
...and there is about 0% chance she would ever leave me

[/ QUOTE ]

http://www.orlyowl.com/orly.jpg

[Utah]

The thing is that it is in the open and she offers to share anything he has written and allows me to hear her conversations with him. We also talk about it when she wants and it is great to see her feel more attractive and sexy. It is really no big deal because we dont make it one. Also when she feels sexy it makes me more attractive to her. So, there is an upside to me.

The only thing that bugs me a bit is that she talks to him sometimes when i want to hang out. But, I dont let it show and I go off and do work or something.

[Utah]

I was thinking spiaggia. The reason i chose the Four Seasons is that spiaggia doesnt mean anything to her but she will get a kick out of telling her friends she got wisked off to chicago to have dinner at the four seasons. Maybe I can change dinner and do lunch the next day at the Four Seasons.

Thanks for the advice.

[jaydub]

Utah,

Good line. Make sure to keep all the frustration pent up. That way when OOT hears about a tri state killing spree involving johny utah we'll all remember the good times.

[imported_anacardo]

YOU'VE BEEN USING QUICK REPLY THAT'S SO WANTON.

Anyway. Like I sez: I think it's strange. I can't imagine being that devoid of ego; I can't imagine being with a woman that seems to enjoy being catered to, to that extent. But, for that matter, I can't imagine high-pressure consulting. So maybe you're onto something.

[Aloysius]

[ QUOTE ]
The only thing that bugs me a bit is that she talks to him sometimes when i want to hang out. But, I dont let it show and I go off and do work or something.

[/ QUOTE ]

Hm - if that bugs you a bit, I wonder how bothered you would be if she actually spent time with him alone and then, you know, banged him.

Man, I can't tell if this is a gag or what. Well - here's to you Utah - I'm hoping it works out.

-Al

[Utah]

I trust her 100% not to cheat on me. She never would in a million years based on how our relationship is now. Everything she has done is based in love and she always makes sure that i am okay. if she wanted to do this guy, she would simply tell me and we would discuss. No secrecy. To be honest - i would tell her that if it made her happy to enjoy herself.

[imported_anacardo]

[ QUOTE ]
Field Marshall Obvious: If she's attractive to you, then it doesn't matter at all. (PS. This is so darn obvious, he got a temporary field promotion)

[/ QUOTE ]

I wonder why somebody so confident is asking questions like this to us, of all people.

[imported_anacardo]

[ QUOTE ]
I trust her 100% not to cheat on me. She never would in a million years based on how our relationship is now. Everything she has done is based in love and she always makes sure that i am okay. if she wanted to do this guy, she would simply tell me and we would discuss. No secrecy. To be honest - i would tell her that if it made her happy to enjoy herself.

[/ QUOTE ]

Oh come on what the [censored]. You HAVE to have some pride. You're telling me it wouldn't hurt your feelings for your wife who you love oh so much to start getting plowed by some random guy, and take his seconds? Explain yourself.

[gorie]

[ QUOTE ]

so if your bf told you about some random chick he was flirting with online and then asked you if you thought she'd be attracted to him when they met in person ... no big deal?

[/ QUOTE ]
no , i didn't say that. i'm not talking about me. the OP doesn't have a problem with it, so why should it be a big deal ? i was just saying i can understand the situation. i didn't say i would feel the same way.

but i imagine if i told my boyfriend it wouldn't bother me, and then he did, it wouldn't be a big deal. however i am not like that, because i am insecure and jealous, so i am not a good example.

i think it is completely possible for these things to happen in a relationsihp and for it to be okay, though. it all depends on the people involved.

just because i would get jealous of my bf talking to some girl doesn't mean he would get jealous of me talking to some guy. i am sure this can go either way depending on the individual and the situation.

i just think it is dumb to try to convince someone something is wrong with their relationship when they are obviously aware of what is happening and saying they're ok with it.

[gorie]

you know that scene in sideways , where the husband catches his wife doing it with that one dude ?

and then they show them having sex later and he's all like ungh ungh u whore, and she's all like ungh ungh you caught me [censored] him i'm a bad girl ungh ungh. or whatever.

that's kinda hot.

[ononimo]

[ QUOTE ]
i just think it is dumb to try to convince someone something is wrong with their relationship when they are obviously aware of what is happening and saying they're ok with it.

[/ QUOTE ]

in this particular case, i agree ... however, there are many other scenarios where i would disagree.

[gorie]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
i just think it is dumb to try to convince someone something is wrong with their relationship when they are obviously aware of what is happening and saying they're ok with it.

[/ QUOTE ]

in this particular case, i agree ... however, there are many other scenarios where i would disagree.

[/ QUOTE ]

hmm yeah. i was speaking more about this specifically, but with general terms. i agree.

[imported_anacardo]

That's one of the most hilariously gross scenes in all of film.

[TimM]

[ QUOTE ]
you know that scene in sideways , where the husband catches his wife doing it with that one dude ?

and then they show them having sex later and he's all like ungh ungh u whore, and she's all like ungh ungh you caught me [censored] him i'm a bad girl ungh ungh. or whatever.

that's kinda hot.

[/ QUOTE ]

Especially the way you tell it. /images/graemlins/tongue.gif

[gorie]

[ QUOTE ]
That's one of the most hilariously gross scenes in all of film.

[/ QUOTE ]
it's my favorite.! i'm touching my weiner just thinking about it.

[imported_anacardo]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
That's one of the most hilariously gross scenes in all of film.

[/ QUOTE ]
it's my favorite.! i'm touching my weiner just thinking about it.

[/ QUOTE ]

Every word you tell me is a lie.

[Dominic]

what the hell does it matter what WE think? What do YOU think?

[diebitter]

[ QUOTE ]
lol - it is my wife who asked and I find her stunning. She lacks confidence and I told her that a man is far more likely to be turned off my the confidence than the weight.

She has been chatting with a guy who she flirts with a ton. She said she would be afraid to meet him. I think it wouldnt matter with all the other killer qualities she has.

[/ QUOTE ]

Hehehe! I wonder how many guys read this and wondered if they'd flirted with Mrs Utah sometime!

EDIT: And I wonder how many now want to flirt with Mrs Utah!

Hey Utah, get her to sign on here and start a 'Ask Mrs Utah' thread. I dog-dare ya!

[ QUOTE ]
I trust her 100% not to cheat on me. She never would in a million years based on how our relationship is now. Everything she has done is based in love and she always makes sure that i am okay. if she wanted to do this guy, she would simply tell me and we would discuss. No secrecy. To be honest - i would tell her that if it made her happy to enjoy herself.

[/ QUOTE ]

Open relationships are one thing. You wanting to hang out and her taking time she could spend with you to talk to another man when you say it "bugs" you - means you aren't ready for this.

YSSCKY.

Give the guy a break, they're obviously in love. In love with food that is. She can't nag you when her mouth is full of pork products.

[imported_anacardo]

[ QUOTE ]
what the hell does it matter what WE think? What do YOU think?

[/ QUOTE ]

But what HE thinks is [censored]' WEIRD, Dom!

[James Boston]

"How Important is a Woman's Weight"

Utah,

Very.

Boned a few fat chicks,
James

Here's the deal, man. You may think there is nothing but innocent flirtation going on. And, yeah, maybe you get to read some of the letters and stuff. But I guarantee there is more going on than you're willing to acknowledge. If your wife was really as happy with you as you seem to believe she would not feel the need to find approval with some other guy. There is obviously something missing in your relationship and I would seriously consider some form of relationship counseling. If you don't this thing WILL blow up in your face. I don't want this to sound like an ownership thing but she is YOUR wife. Take control and do something before it all crashes down on you.
Wake Up,
Justin

[zephed]

[ QUOTE ]
I trust her 100% not to cheat on me. She never would in a million years based on how our relationship is now. Everything she has done is based in love and she always makes sure that i am okay. if she wanted to do this guy, she would simply tell me and we would discuss. No secrecy. To be honest - i would tell her that if it made her happy to enjoy herself.

[/ QUOTE ]
You are weird.

I wanted to call you a big pussy, and I do think you are somewhat, but I don't think that completely explains it.

[The Goober]

[ QUOTE ]
The only thing that bugs me a bit is that she talks to him sometimes when i want to hang out. But, I don't let it show and I go off and do work or something.

[/ QUOTE ]

Until this sentence I was split 50-50, but this sentence seals it - you're in massive denial. The only way you know how to keep up your relationship is to commit yourself to total servitude.

You:
http://www.armychic256bde.com/sitebuildercontent/sitebuilderpictures/mrsmithers.jpg

[imported_anacardo]

How did I miss that sentence? Yeah, that's a big tell, IMO. Duder. Seriously. What the deal.

[ohnonotthat]

It may not be that he's looking here for an answer.

I might be he his decision is made and he wants to know whether anyone else would have made the same choice.

*

Note: If he really is looking for validation and permission from this bunch then there is clearly no hope for him and I wish both he and this girl the best of luck; they'll need it.

[tom441lbk]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
That's one of the most hilariously gross scenes in all of film.

[/ QUOTE ]
it's my favorite.! i'm touching my weiner just thinking about it.

[/ QUOTE ]


..........

[Slow Play Ray]

Skinny chicks - no good.

Fat chicks - no good.

Chicks with just a little meat - good.

[Utah]

I know how much I love her yet that didnt stop me from wanting to bang that tasty stripper I saw in Vegas during a recent bachelor party Of course I didnt but that didnt stop me from throwing a few $20s her way.

So, does that mean something is missing for me? Or, maybe it is possible that people can have desires outside of marriage?

[Utah]

I have already answered this. Her weight doesnt matter to me in the least and I find her completely and totally sexy. When I was in my 20s, I would have probably said that weight matters a lot. So, I was just curious as to what others thought of weight on a woman.

Utah

I haven't read the whole thread. Are you saying that you don't mind her flirting with guys online as long as she doesn't act on it or are you saying you guys have an open marriage and she can explore relationships in real life and it's all cool with you cuz you know she wouldn't leave you?

[Utah]

I would have no problem doing that and she would answer honestly. The only thing is that jerks here would end up saying something hurtful like calling her a fat big or something.

Also, if I did, she would basically say the same thing I did I believe and then you would all just think it was me.

[diebitter]

I was kidding really. Don't. Someone will be mean, I'm sure.

[Utah]

You are taking my comment the wrong way. It also bugs me I want to hang out with her and she is talking to her sister. But, I can guarantee you that I would completely and totally encourage her to bang her sister /images/graemlins/smile.gif

[ChipWrecked]

Ray:

Happy Birthday.

This greeting comes by QR and has nothing to do with the thread.

[patrick_mcmurray]

"btw - it wasnt always this way. For most of our marriage I was your typical guy and she was the typical mom/wife and we were on the fast track to divorce."

Utah you must tell us what you guys did to change things. I would be genuinely very interested to hear. Thanks.

[Lazymeatball]

i like fat chicks

[GoblinMason (Craig)]

Utah,

You've made me less of a cynic regarding relationships. It seems like all relationships I see end up at the point where you start to dislike each other. Don't listen to the haters, you have more balls than most of us.

-Craig

[ononimo]

[ QUOTE ]
i like fat chicks

[/ QUOTE ]

because, like Avis, they try harder?

[jaydub]

Craig,

Actually the point is he has no balls. He has no pride and is completely owned by a fat chick who isn't even faithful to him. He would let her [censored] some other guy but she would never let him [censored] that stripper. An open relationship is one thing, a one sided open relationship is infidelity.

ononimo,

That is a myth. Fat chicks are not in good enough shape to try hard at anything.

[ChipWrecked]

[ QUOTE ]
Utah,

You've made me less of a cynic regarding relationships. It seems like all relationships I see end up at the point where you start to dislike each other. Don't listen to the haters, you have more balls than most of us.

-Craig

[/ QUOTE ]

Symptom of impending divorce: Hallway sex.

That's where the partners meet as they're coming down the hallway:

"[censored] you."
"[censored] you!"

[ QUOTE ]
You are taking my comment the wrong way. It also bugs me I want to hang out with her and she is talking to her sister. But, I can guarantee you that I would completely and totally encourage her to bang her sister /images/graemlins/smile.gif

[/ QUOTE ]

Well, don't take this the wrong way then. It bugs you when she hangs out with/talks to her sister, and the same with this guy. I also find it a little weird that you would find it sexually attractive for your wife to commit incest with her sister.

Maybe the real thing that bugs you is the fact that she'd rather hang out/talk to just about anyone but you? I understand you aren't in here bitching about your relationship, I understand completely what you are saying.

But, by the same token, something is definitely bothering you. What I would do is take a little weekend holiday with your wife, away from the family, away from the computer, and definitely away from the god-forsaken Internet.

But, that's just my opinion, I could be wrong.

(Also, she's your wife, her weight shouldn't matter unless she's put on a considerable amount of it since your marriage. Thus, it DEFINITELY shouldn't be important to anyone else.)

[diebitter]

[ QUOTE ]
Lets say you really liked a woman and you made a strong connection to her over email, phone, and IM and you too spend hours a night talking to her. Lets also say that she was your complete sexual fantasy and she would do the things to you in bed that you only dream about a woman doing and that would blow your doors off. Finally, you have seen a picture of her face and it is absolutely gorgeous.

The downside is that she is somewhat overweight. However, it doesnt seem to affect her and she is totally confident and at ease with herself.

Would her being overweight affect you and turn you off or would all the other things simply make it not matter?

[/ QUOTE ]

I think I've been superdense here! The penny has only just dropped - I think.

Are you asking this from the perspective of this guy talking to your wife?

And therefore hoping he won't find your wife attractive?

[Utah]

lol. We actually hang out constantly. I have a busy consulting job but she is constantly wanting to come to my work and take me to lunch or to coffee and I am constantly wanting her to do so.

The real pathetic thing is that we are so crazily in love that we almost always want to be together. Being at work, I am constantly hanging out with different people from around the world and I get my fill of external conversation with men and women. She doesnt have the opportunity.

There is a part of her talking to guys that makes me find her even hotter. I would much rather be with a woman who views herself as attractive, others find her attractive, and she wants to be out in world. To me, that is a 1000 times hotter than a frumpy housewife.

[KaneKungFu123]

Isnt 'average' in the USA borderline-obesse?

[ QUOTE ]
Isnt 'average' in the USA borderline-obesse?

[/ QUOTE ]

Yes. They're all a bunch of cows, or soon will be. Similarly, isn't 'average' in Asia borderline-starvation?

[Marnixvdb]

There are exceptions obv, but overweight girls usually dont look good, even when a little extra weight doesnt matter at all. They especially don't look good if they wear too-tight clothes, as seems to be their custom.

overweight women can look very sexy, feminine and mature, they intimidate me though since i am still hooking up with girls and not women.

As for your situation, i see your point. A relation where none would ever feel attracted to a person outside of that relation is unhealthy. Still, reading all your comments, I get an image of your relation that is somewhere between utopic and spooky. It's ok that you are so open, but doenst telling/showing/sharing everything take away the mystery and surprise?

Im also curious how you changed your relation from fast-track-to-divorce to happy-every-single-minute

Marnix

[KaneKungFu123]

[ QUOTE ]
isn't 'average' in Asia borderline-starvation?

[/ QUOTE ]

No.

[KaneKungFu123]

what percentage of american women in their mid 30's arent overweight? sort of ruins the initial question?

[jaydub]

KKF,

Yes, that is why another poster inquired about a few pounds over slim and fit or a few pounds over average. The "average" is quite obscenely fat in my view. This becomes even more the case when national averages are taken instead of the average of an urban area. The latter is bad but the former is just insane.

[KaneKungFu123]

Something is missing here, no guy says "If she wants to sleep with another man it'd be okay with me" without there being some sort of catch. Are you cheating on her? Are you gay? Are you swingers?

[durron597]

My brother became close friends with a woman who weighed 400 pounds. I'm not sure if I would have ever called them "dating" because my brother told me he had zero physical attraction... but he really liked her, as a person. I have talked to her and she seemed like a really awesome person. It was clear that this woman wanted to marry my brother.

Eventually my brother was like "look, this is just not going to work", physical attraction was one reason, her health was another reason - when someone weighs that much their life expectation is a lot lower and she was also older than my brother (my brother is 32). A third reason is that my brother wants kids.

Now my brother is dating a girl who is tall (5'10"ish i think) and weighs like 190-200 pounds. I like her a lot too (personality wise). She's no supermodel but I would call her above average in looks (so if the national mean is a 5 then she is a 6). And from what I can tell it doesn't matter to him, though he is making her run with him - they just ran a 5k race together.

[GoblinMason (Craig)]

[ QUOTE ]
Craig,

Actually the point is he has no balls. He has no pride and is completely owned by a fat chick who isn't even faithful to him. He would let her [censored] some other guy but she would never let him [censored] that stripper. An open relationship is one thing, a one sided open relationship is infidelity.

[/ QUOTE ]

If that's true, then yeah she's got your nuts.

I was more talking about how they both do their best to please the other.

-Craig

[PokerFink]

Utah,

I just read the whole thread, and if everything you say is true, you are incredibly mature and secure. To the point that it is hard to believe. I am impressed, and I'm curious about what you did to turn your marriage around.

On the other hand, there is a large chance that you are in denial about your marriage. There are many men out there who think their wife/girlfriend is 100% in love with them and faithful, have a great relationship with great sex, and have no idea that their SO is cheating on them. I've seen it happen to my friends, and I've had it happen to me. And obviously, this goes for women too.

I hope for your sake that your situation is the former.

-Fink

My husband and I have got a relationship much like you described, Utah, and we couldn't be happier. We were childhood sweethearts and can't stand the thought of being without the other. So much of it boils down to respect and communication. Our kids are secure and happy even as most of their buddies have parents that are divorced.

But respect and happiness for us does not mean that we can do anything we want. My husband would meet with the ugly end of a shovel if he were trying to pick up girls online. And if I were trying to get with some guy and he gave me his blessings, I would loose every ounce of respect and wonder where his penis had crawled off to. Having a great marriage does not mean it has to be an open swingers club in order to show "respect" but different strokes, I guess.

[ononimo]

[ QUOTE ]
And if I were trying to get with some guy and he gave me his blessings, I would loose every ounce of respect and wonder where his penis had crawled off to.

[/ QUOTE ]

classic.

[tolbiny]

What guy here doesn't beat it thinking about someone other that his wife/girlfriend. You all do, its a harmless little fantasie, and its no big deal. All his wife is doing at the moment is having alittle fantasie, its like reading a romance novel, only more interactive and probably more interesting for her. The internet is great because of the distance it allows you to have the fanatsies without hurting osmeone close to you. I will say though, Utah, that them meeting is blurring those boundries, i can understand accepting these things up to a point, but meeting in person is a whole different thing.

As to your original question, does fat matter? If this guy doesn't know what she looks like at all 9no pics, no description) then he has built her up in his mind, he wants her to be hot as hell. He would most likely be disappointed.
He would still nail her given the chance.

[Utah]

We changed almost immediately but it strengthened every month since.

At the point of divorce we were incredibly bitter. To be honest, I was a jackass. I worked my ass off at work so I thought it meant she had to take care of the house and me when I was home. Our typical day's conversation {scene - me sitting on the couch watching sports wife washing dishes behind me}

"Quiet, with the dishes I am watching TV"
"You need to help. the house is a mess...."
"I just worked 10 hours. Can you not nag me every f'ing 5 minutes"
"ahole"
"Bitch"

We had not slept in the same bed for a year and we had awful sex once a month. It was like "need to get off" sex with no kissing

It changed very oddly. One day, I wanted her to do a sexual favor for me. Her response word for word, "fxxx you. You want that then you buy me an expensive ring". So I did. I took her ring shopping and bought her a $3000 ring. Funny thing happened at the jewelry store - she was SO excited and bouncing around like this little girl. She has a smile on her face that I hadnt seen since we first went out. She kept grabbing my hand to hold." Instantly, she went from this dumpy wife to this mega hot chic. I loved it. So, that night I had this weird compulsion. I asked her to let me serve her - get her drinks and food on demand, massages, cleaning on demand" Oddly, it felt really natural.

Okay, here is the sappy "no balls" part. I asked her to be in charge and she agreed. She agreed to never nag and I agreed to do whatever she said, never to argue with her, and to treat her like a queen. We simply went from there are both of us have been estatically happy since. There were times at the start where she snapped at me or was in a bad mood. However, I just took it and never once retaliated and it never became an escalation like the past. Pretty soon, she stopped snapping and she never abused her power once.

The sex did not turn around quickly and it took many months. Again, I never complained and still treated her like a queen. Everything was at her pace. Her appetite grew slowly but it is now at a point where she is also crazed daily and she is very sexual. This was a woman I would have told you at one point is the lamest most non sexual girl on the planet. Funny how making a woman feel special and attactive and how always putting here in a good mood with increase her drive. lol.

So, the turnaround was almost instantanious from the point of fighting and bitterness. The love and sex grew over 6 months.

[bones]

[ QUOTE ]
We changed almost immediately but it strengthened every month since.

At the point of divorce we were incredibly bitter. To be honest, I was a jackass. I worked my ass off at work so I thought it meant she had to take care of the house and me when I was home. Our typical day's conversation {scene - me sitting on the couch watching sports wife washing dishes behind me}

"Quiet, with the dishes I am watching TV"
"You need to help. the house is a mess...."
"I just worked 10 hours. Can you not nag me every f'ing 5 minutes"
"ahole"
"Bitch"

We had not slept in the same bed for a year and we had awful sex once a month. It was like "need to get off" sex with no kissing

It changed very oddly. One day, I wanted her to do a sexual favor for me. Her response word for word, "fxxx you. You want that then you buy me an expensive ring". So I did. I took her ring shopping and bought her a $3000 ring. Funny thing happened at the jewelry store - she was SO excited and bouncing around like this little girl. She has a smile on her face that I hadnt seen since we first went out. She kept grabbing my hand to hold." Instantly, she went from this dumpy wife to this mega hot chic. I loved it. So, that night I had this weird compulsion. I asked her to let me serve her - get her drinks and food on demand, massages, cleaning on demand" Oddly, it felt really natural.

Okay, here is the sappy "no balls" part. I asked her to be in charge and she agreed. She agreed to never nag and I agreed to do whatever she said, never to argue with her, and to treat her like a queen. We simply went from there are both of us have been estatically happy since. There were times at the start where she snapped at me or was in a bad mood. However, I just took it and never once retaliated and it never became an escalation like the past. Pretty soon, she stopped snapping and she never abused her power once.

The sex did not turn around quickly and it took many months. Again, I never complained and still treated her like a queen. Everything was at her pace. Her appetite grew slowly but it is now at a point where she is also crazed daily and she is very sexual. This was a woman I would have told you at one point is the lamest most non sexual girl on the planet. Funny how making a woman feel special and attactive and how always putting here in a good mood with increase her drive. lol.

So, the turnaround was almost instantanious from the point of fighting and bitterness. The love and sex grew over 6 months.

[/ QUOTE ]

Does she make you pee sitting down?





Just kidding. Hope this continues to work.

[asofel]

If you're happy Utah, then that's great. The issue many guys here have is that they wouldn't be happy with the seemingly agreed upon inequality.

If you're both on the same level and both treat each other amazingly, that's awesome in my eyes. But I wouldn't want to be in a situation where I give someone everything, and they give back any less. That's how I am, and how many are...

I'm skeptical about the "would be happy if she was happy" kind of situation when it comes to another guy physically. I have no problem with someone I love thinking brad pitt is hot, or being turned on by muscles or whatever. I would definitely have a problem with the act though...

Anyway, good luck, I hope you're 100% happy through and through and not covering up or hiding something deep inside. If you're being honest and you really are truly happy then that's amazing and congratulations.

[PokerFink]

Utah,

I think this is much more simple than we all realized.

You're whipped.

-Fink

[Aloysius]

Utah - was curious to come back to this thread this morning to hear you expound. Really interesting take on marriage. I wish you luck. Just thought you'd find this interesting - the #1 reason (according to several surveys I've seen) people get divorced = contempt / loss of respect for their partner. Please don't let it get to that point (sounds like you might be headed down that road). Best,

-Al

[jaydub]

Utah,

You're not a husband, you're a pet. Best of luck.

Jay

[JihadOnTheRiver]

I haven't been following the thread and I'm not going to read throught the whole thing, so I'm sure that this has been said, but my answer is:

Incredibly important. A deal breaker to say the least.

-Jihad

[Utah]

Really? Hmmmm.......

Please explain why?

When a guy first starts dating a woman how does he act? Well, like a pet. He is usually really concerned about making the woman happy and making her like or love him. He romances her, buys her flowers, does all kinds of little thinks for her, etc. She usually just loves it and feels special and she is happy and thus returns the favor.

So, why is it so odd to be that way 10 years into a marriage? Why shouldnt you always be courting your wife?

[RunDownHouse]

Courting is a different world from "agreeing to obey your every command, no questions asked.

[jaydub]

Utah,

That was not how I dated women. Read some ask Dr Dom for basic ideas or search on my posts. I would never have tried to make someone like me. I was who I was and if they were lucky, I would find them interesting and choose to spend time with them.

Perhaps it's the way you dated women that has left you in this position.

Again best of luck,
Jay

[Aloysius]

Utah - wow. I understand the concept - "making someone happy is happiness itself". But I hope you're getting your basic relationships needs filled and don't grow very bitter resentful, and as jaydub pointed out earlier, go on a rampany killing spree when all the frustration you have bottled up comes out. Choose wisely, and god speed -


http://riccistreet.net/dwares/plaza/burns/images/1way_2way.jpg

[Utah]

Wow - they were lucky to date you? Man, you must be making some woman really really happy.

It is not about "making some woman like me" per sae. It is simply about courting woman the way they want to be courted and by the way men naturally do it. Sure, it doesnt fit everyone. But there is a reason there are a billion romance novel for women with this theme. My guess that there are very few novels where the hero says, "yeah, that bitch was lucky to date me"

[Gunny Highway]

[ QUOTE ]
It is not about "making some woman like me" per sae. It is simply about courting woman the way they want to be courted and by the way men naturally do it. Sure, it doesnt fit everyone. But there is a reason there are a billion romance novel for women with this theme. My guess that there are very few novels where the hero says, "yeah, that bitch was lucky to date me"

[/ QUOTE ]

Now we see the problem. You're a guy that reads romance novels. This makes things much clearer.

[DMBFan23]

yeah but there are a ton of james bon movies where it's basically said

bottom line, you need to ask yourself is this is TRULY something you're ok with, or if it's something you feel you have to put up with. only you know the answer to that, just don't take any [censored] you don't have to is all I think a lot of ppl are saying

[jaydub]

Utah,

Your romance novel analogy actually better demonstrates my points. The heroes in such novels are not weak, servile men. In fact they are universally the opposite.

As an aside, romance novels do provide wonderful insights into the female psyche. I think it was D'Angelo that wrote up some interesting thoughts on the subject.

Of course a woman is lucky to be with me, what kind of self hating man would think the opposite? Oh wait....

All the best,

Jay

[Meech]

I think this is an age thing.

Youg'ens want the hot bod. They don't crave sexuality or confidence because more often than not, they don't have it (or know what it is) yet.

As you age, you discover that the rack you were just staring at has a mouth.

So, in short -- yes I think attitude can overcome a slight weight disadvantage. At some point though, there isn't enough attitude in the world.

[Utah]

I most certainly am getting my needs met and I am as happy as a man could be. Pure bliss (as stupid as that sounds) /images/graemlins/smile.gif My wife isnt some nasty bitch who orders me around. It wouldnt work if she was. She treats me with complete love and respect. It was not completely natural for her to be in command. She constantly said at the start, "are you okay?" "Is this what you want?" "what do you need?". I always simply responded, "I need nothing but to make you happy". She gets it now but she still occassionally asks because she cares so deeply.

To this guy thing, she has asked me a lot if she wants me to have her stop. I tell her that she can do what makes her happy and not to ask. However, i like that she does because it means that she cares. I know (I think) if I said stop she would immediately and she would just go on being happy with her life. It is hard to explain but it just works.

Certainly, we take it to a pretty big extreme. However, the basic concepts of love, respect, openess, and serving your wife works in most situations. I wonder how many men complain about their wives when these same men could make both themselves and their wives happy by making a major change in the way they treat their wives.

Sure, it might not be for a lot of people. But how many men and women are miserable today after having their lives blown apart by divorce?

[SackUp]

I haven't read any of the posts but the only correct answer is very important!

[ QUOTE ]
I need nothing but to make you happy

[/ QUOTE ]

im at a loss for words.

wow. just wow.

codependency, anybody?

[MaxPower]

Get in touch with Private Joker. He will make you a TV star.

[Rduke55]

[ QUOTE ]
btw - the guy she is flirting with is married and miserable and thinks his bitter wife is a bitch. Well, that is his fault, not his wife's.

[/ QUOTE ]

How would you know that it is not his wife's fault?

I /images/graemlins/heart.gif OOT

[Aloysius]

[ QUOTE ]
Get in touch with Private Joker. He will make you a TV star.

[/ QUOTE ]

Hahahhah - I work at a broadcast network - I'll definitely do what I can to set up a pitch meeting. OOT's very own reality star!

I'd religiously watch this disaster of a household on TV.

[Meech]

[ QUOTE ]
"I need nothing but to make you happy"

[/ QUOTE ]

Hmmmmmmm.....

Perhaps his "dominatrix friend" is a little closer to home? Wink, wink -- nudge, nudge.

[Utah]

lol. It is not codependent. I spent most of my life in the pursuit of my career and in pursuit of money and ignoring my wife.

However, I had an epiphany when this started. I have a neural net poker software software company (which we created a poker tool that cant be released to the market because it is tool powerful that the sites wouldnt stand for it). My parter and I raised a big ass chunk of cash from a major vegas casino owner. We flew to Vegas one weekend and we were being wined and dined at his mansion. I was sitting in this just incredible room and I was on the verge of great success. Then it hit me incredibly hard - if I had all "this" and I made hundreds on millions or more (like this investor) I would still be miserable because I would still feel completely and utterly alone like I did at that moment. Without a love if my life, the last 15 years of busting my ass meant nothing.

It changed my life. Maybe I swung way to hard to the other side. But so what. For now I am without need and I am just so freakin happy living in the moment.

[Bluffoon]

Christ you're not a golden retriever you're a man. Act like one. And I am not saying that you shouldn't be a kind, generous and considerate partner.

No wonder your wife is flirting with guys on the internet. Fetch Utah...

[Gunny Highway]

So, Utah, does this seem familiar?

http://www.raw-sex-porn.com/sites/fat-femdom-style/picture_02.jpg

[einbert]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Isnt 'average' in the USA borderline-obesse?

[/ QUOTE ]

Yes. They're all a bunch of cows, or soon will be. Similarly, isn't 'average' in Asia borderline-starvation?

[/ QUOTE ]

Happy birthday resident cynic!

[imported_anacardo]

[ QUOTE ]
I have a neural net poker software software company (which we created a poker tool that cant be released to the market because it is tool powerful that the sites wouldnt stand for it). My parter and I raised a big ass chunk of cash from a major vegas casino owner. We flew to Vegas one weekend and we were being wined and dined at his mansion.

[/ QUOTE ]

Get. The [censored]. Outta here.

Gunny,

Exactly what Google Image search terms turned up THAT gem?

Or is that your wallpaper? /images/graemlins/laugh.gif

yasher

[Utah]

I can send you a screen shot of it if you do not believe me. We built it over the last year and it is simply unreal. I wont tell you how, but we figured out 3 major issues with current neural net approaches that greatly limit their success (hint: one of them is how to account for how players value hands differently than each other. It is easy to figure A,K is better than A,J but how do you know how to compare how player A compares to player B in evaluating A,J versus 9,9 in mid position given the table dynamics, the action before him, and the players behind him.)

[diebitter]

It's just clicked.

This is the most impressive trolling I've ever seen!

It's like the gone with the wind of trolls...

Nice one, Utah!

[Aloysius]

[ QUOTE ]
It's just clicked.

This is the most impressive trolling I've ever seen!

It's like the gone with the wind of trolls...

Nice one, Utah!

[/ QUOTE ]

Damn - I kinda suspected - and the more I think about it... DB, spot on, as always.

Your humble servant,
-Al

[imported_anacardo]

Jihad on you. Unto the ends of the earth.

[Utah]

How do I insert a screen shot here. I took into into photoshop to remove some of the proprietary stuff and saved it into a jpeg.

[imported_anacardo]

www.imageshack.us (http://www.imageshack.us)

This ought to be good.

[Gunny Highway]

yasher,

"fat femdom" /images/graemlins/smirk.gif

[Utah]

Here it is. This is from an earlier test version. I cut out a bunch of stuff and the `calculations are not working in this one. However, you get the idea.

If anyone doesnt believe me I will bet them $5000 I have it and we can put the money up with some people in vegas. I will them demo it for you and we an set some criteria on what a successful demo means.

http://http://img235.imageshack.us/img235/122/screenshot2ww.jpg (http://imageshack.us)

[diebitter]

Hahahaha!

Respect to you, it's been very interesting and thought-provoking. I never saw a trolling I liked before, but this one was awesome. Good one!

EDIT: I'm looking forward to seeing how long you can keep it going. You're really good, so some time yet, I reckon!

[Aloysius]

[ QUOTE ]
Here it is. This is from an earlier test version. I cut out a bunch of stuff and the `calculations are not working in this one. However, you get the idea.

If anyone doesnt believe me I will bet them $5000 I have it and we can put the money up with some people in vegas. I will them demo it for you and we an set some criteria on what a successful demo means.

http://http://img235.imageshack.us/img235/122/screenshot2ww.jpg (http://imageshack.us)

[/ QUOTE ]

You can write this program but you don't know how to post an image on a message board? DB = very wise.

Regards,
IHY Utah

[Eurotrash]

[ QUOTE ]
I have a neural net poker software software company

[/ QUOTE ]


My CPU is a neural net processor -- a learning computer

[Utah]

lol. I didnt write the program and it wasnt done on the cheap. We have a large offshore team developing it and we have MIT guys working on the net.

btw - the bottom numbers are a real time calculation. A player makes a play and the software caculates the percentage a player has a certain hand type. This one is very crude and for this screen shot the team was just working on the technical integration of the net. I dont want to show the current screen because it would give away some incredible ideas that no one has thought of yet.

[IndieMatty]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I have a neural net poker software software company

[/ QUOTE ]


My CPU is a neural net processor -- a learning computer

[/ QUOTE ]

What the [censored] just happened in this thread. Is he making a poker bot, and did he slyly slip this into the thread? Where's my booker t gimmick account?

[Utah]

I dont get it? it is not a bot, we are not selling it, and we dont plan on doing so in the future (of course, that doesnt mean we dont use it for other purposes /images/graemlins/smile.gif . Someone simply challenged me and I produced a screenshot.

[IndieMatty]

[ QUOTE ]
I dont get it? it is not a bot, we are not selling it, and we dont plan on doing so in the future (of course, that doesnt mean we dont use it for other purposes /images/graemlins/smile.gif . Someone simply challenged me and I produced a screenshot.

[/ QUOTE ]

It was an honest qustion. What the [censored] is it? I'm technically retarded. Not quite sure what its purpose is/was or what you envision for it, and why a "major casino" would invest in it. /images/graemlins/confused.gif

I guess I'm just taken aback because by now I thought by the end of this thread there would be pictures and a bunch of dudes giving their opinion on whether they'd [censored] your wife. This is actually a pleasant surprise.

[imported_anacardo]

Okay, then what the hell IS it for? Excuse me: "it."

[Utah]

You have a point. Most often, it takes 2 to make a disaster out of a marriage. But, what kind of man is willing to bad mouth his wife to another woman and who would easily jump in bed with someone else? That is probably my biggest issue with this whole thing - there is an innocent party involved. I think my wife has this "awe poor guy" thinking.

[Aloysius]

IndieMatt - The veracity of everything Utah is posting in this thread is being called into question. And if Utah continues to defend his honor (and this company), this thread is just going to keep getting more awesome and weird.

-Al

[Gunny Highway]

[ QUOTE ]
this thread is just going to keep getting more awesome and weird.

[/ QUOTE ]

But there's still so much more potential. We're no where close to it being as awesome as it could be. I predict that if we can keep it alive until the Friday night drunk/stoned corwd gets ahold of it, truw greatness could ensue.

[diebitter]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
this thread is just going to keep getting more awesome and weird.

[/ QUOTE ]

But there's still so much more potential. We're no where close to it being as awesome as it could be. I predict that if we can keep it alive until the Friday night drunk/stoned corwd gets ahold of it, truw greatness could ensue.

[/ QUOTE ]

agree - this guy has surely got a coupla more twists and turns up his sleeve.

[Aloysius]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
this thread is just going to keep getting more awesome and weird.

[/ QUOTE ]

But there's still so much more potential. We're no where close to it being as awesome as it could be. I predict that if we can keep it alive until the Friday night drunk/stoned corwd gets ahold of it, truw greatness could ensue.

[/ QUOTE ]

agree - this guy has surely got a coupla more twists and turns up his sleeve.

[/ QUOTE ]

Yes - but I think its potential weirdness/ awesomeness is 100% "Utah-driven". It's all on you buddy...

-Al

[imported_anacardo]

Can somebody familiar please provide us with a quick summary of Utah's previous posting behavior? It would be very helpful. TY.

[Utah]

Mrs. Utah is going to post tonight (although she will not respond and eventually stop if people are mean). I signed her up but she needs to verify her email account and post when she gets home later.

[IndieMatty]

Al, Thanks for the summary.

Everyone else: This thread is weird.

Utah: WTF?

-Drinkin Beer in the Office,

Matthew

I was PMed that this picture would be appropiate when it came down to the technical talk, pardon my self servitude.

http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y94/IndieMatty/290035398_l.jpg

[jaydub]

Utah,

There is still the open question of what precisely this software does.

Curiously,

Jay

[bones]

Forget about the poker [censored]. There is much more interesting stuff going on in this thread. Stuff I've only read about...

Utah, would it turn you on to see your wife hook up with another dude, assuming that it makes her very happy?

[Utah]

Everything I have posted has been 100% honest.

Basically, it is a real time game advisor. The software feeds back real time information to the player about what the actions taken by a specific player means. Basically, it will tell you the chance someone holds strong cards when they raise. Depending on the situation, it will tell you down to specific holdings- e.g., 75% AA, 20%KK 5% Other

We truly cant release it for 2 reasons:
1) It is truly too powerful and we are questioning the ethics of it
2) Our investor holds U.S. gambling licenses and he cannot be involved in illegal gambling in the US (which online play is).

Our investor is simply a major player in Vegas and it is not a casino that has invested in us.

[IndieMatty]

[ QUOTE ]
Everything I have posted has been 100% honest.

Basically, it is a real time game advisor. The software feeds back real time information to the player about what the actions taken by a specific player means. Basically, it will tell you the chance someone holds strong cards when they raise. Depending on the situation, it will tell you down to specific holdings- e.g., 75% AA, 20%KK 5% Other

We truly cant release it for 2 reasons:
1) It is truly too powerful and we are questioning the ethics of it
2) Our investor holds U.S. gambling licenses and he cannot be involved in illegal gambling in the US (which online play is).

Our investor is simply a major player in Vegas and it is not a casino that has invested in us.

[/ QUOTE ]

Hmm interesting. And thank you for the summary. Edit: That was borderline rude.

[Utah]

"Utah, would it turn you on to see your wife hook up with another dude, assuming that it makes her very happy?"

Okay, I will give an honest answer. It kinda does in fantasy mode but I think I would dislike it very much in reality.

[jaydub]

Utah,

Thank you. Especially for adding on that bit about providing the actual holdings and percents. That clarifies everything perfectly.

[Alex Levin]

Although it is obvious that this guy is completely whipped, I don't see why it matters as long as he's happy. I'm sure most of us wouldn't be content living in that type of relationship, but since it seems that he truly is - if he's being completely honest - then I don't see the problem. I'll even give him props for responding to all of our questions and criticisms without any outward annoyance.

I have no idea how the poker stuff has hijacked this thread, and I have to say that it's taking away from the entertainment value.

[Klepton]

Utah,
you are a very interesting person.

[imported_anacardo]

[ QUOTE ]
I have no idea how the poker stuff has hijacked this thread, and I have to say that it's taking away from the entertainment value.

[/ QUOTE ]

What the hell's not to understand?

"Oh, offhand mention of the neural superbot I'm building, blah blah blah blah blah."

I don't write it - I just respond to it.

[gorie]

i'm curious now what sexual favor was that you had to pay $3,000 for (from your wife) ? it has to be good.

http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d43/owlguy/w.jpg

[zephed]

[ QUOTE ]
My husband and I have got a relationship much like you described, Utah, and we couldn't be happier. We were childhood sweethearts and can't stand the thought of being without the other. So much of it boils down to respect and communication. Our kids are secure and happy even as most of their buddies have parents that are divorced.

But respect and happiness for us does not mean that we can do anything we want. My husband would meet with the ugly end of a shovel if he were trying to pick up girls online. And if I were trying to get with some guy and he gave me his blessings, I would loose every ounce of respect and wonder where his penis had crawled off to. Having a great marriage does not mean it has to be an open swingers club in order to show "respect" but different strokes, I guess.

[/ QUOTE ]
Spot on.

Another thing that no one has mentioned is that Mrs. Utah needs another man's attention to feel sexy.!? If Utah knows her so well, shouldn't he be able to do the same, if not better?

Sounds like she needs some excitement in her life, and Utah is not rising to the occasion. Dude, another man will not give your wife what you couldn't do already. Nothing good will come of it either.

[Utah]

Another thing that no one has mentioned is that Mrs. Utah needs another man's attention to feel sexy.!? If Utah knows her so well, shouldn't he be able to do the same, if not better?"

I will let her answer in her thread. However, it is still important for me to have other girls find me attractive and I flirt with lots of them even though Mrs. Utah makes me feel great about myself. Mrs. Utah has no problems with this.

[patrick_mcmurray]

Thanks very much for your post Utah!