I think I'm f-ed, any good lines?

[Jeebus]

So I've been dating this girl for about 9 months. It's freaking great. I honestly think this is the girl I could be with till I die. But that's beside the point. Suffice to say she is in to me as well. Now a friend of hers from high school (female) ha retunred into the picture. This girl is incredibly needy, in fact beyond needy into the whole i need someone to affirm my daily existence. She has latche donto my girlfriend who is definatly one that likes to help others. Now the friend has got it in her mind (she may or may not be doing this on purpose cuz she seems to like me) to make herself the more important person in my g/f's life. She is, dammit, succeeding becaue she always has something bad she needs help with. My life is normaly all roses so I really have nothing to steal this from and I know it's leading to disaster. Does anybody know any method to get this manipulative bitch the hell out of her life? I have tried the whole X does not care about you she is just using you line but it was met with "You don't know we were such good friends in high school.
If I don't get rid of this bitch I know I will lose my girl, how the hell do i get rid of her. And yes i think it is ok for me to act in this situation and not let her make her own decision because she does not realize what is being asked from her. I hear her complaints about the girl quite frequently.

Damn I hate bitches. Why must they be so sweet and tasty.

Here's a hot bitch.
yep (http://cosmictribune.org/zzcutietristan.jpg)

[Claunchy]

What's up with people posting pictures of random hot chicks on these kind of threads? Yes, I remember the thread that started the trend, but it's the [censored] internet for chrissakes. It's not like pictures of hot chicks are scarce.

Post a picture of your girlfriend so we can correctly determine whether she's hot enough to put up with a bunch of [censored] for.

[splashpot]

Get some 3-way action going.

[Jeebus]

If I had a scanner I'd put the shot up, I might try to. Describe it as very very attractive girl with small boobs and hot ass.

I actually halfway encouraged this [censored] in the beginning for that direct reason. Now I kick myself in the ass. Unless they are just shy to say they both want me, probably just a fantasy. Damn beer gut.

[Cancuk]

[ QUOTE ]
Get some 3-way action going.

[/ QUOTE ]

Classic OOT.

If you really care about this girl, have her friend wacked.

[Jeebus]

You think if i start a fund, I could get enough contributions from ooters to cover teh cost? I just took a horrible run in a game that will be unnamed but somewhat resembles war and can't afford a hitter.


Definatly give me a good reason to comfort and get back in [censored].
Keep the ideas coming

[diebitter]

You must sow discord. Possible options:

1. Talk about how great the klingon is, but then drop in a 'but...' and say something very minorly irritating about her, pause to give your girlie time to think, and then say, '...but that's so minor compared to how great she is.'

Wash. Repeat

You're hoping to open up a major bitch fest here.


2. Act like klingon is super hot. Your girly will soon tire of this, and bin her.

[Jeebus]

[ QUOTE ]
You must sow discord. Possible options:
2. Act like kilngon is super hot. Your girly will soon tire of this, and bin her.

[/ QUOTE ]

Man, You are quickly becoming my faviorite poster, add that to this near perfect advice and i find it hard to believe you are foreign.


Just a joke for those who can't tell.

[diebitter]

[ QUOTE ]
i find it hard to believe you are foreign.


[/ QUOTE ]

women are international.

They so pwn guys - the only weapon we have is they deep-down hate each other WAAAAAAAY more than they hate us.

[ohnonotthat]

Is this a pic of your girlfriend or of her friend ?

*

If this is your girlfriend I suggest you do anything up to and including making the friend disappear; I grew up in NYC so if you'd like I can set you up with someone who'll take care of it for 500.

If this is her friend I'd probably suggest the same. You say of your girlfriend "this could be the 1" so if I were you I'd do anything necessary to protect the relationship - although I would bone the friend prior to her disappearance.

If you have a weak stomach and would balk at the suggestion of murder for hire, might I suggest that you both GROW UP and SMARTEN UP.

The friend is doing you a huge service especially if the frequency of sex hasn't suffered but even if you are now getting freaky a little less than you'd like (due to the friend's neediness) you are still being absolved of having to be the major (or only) important thing in your girlfriend's life.

Someone once said that more relationships end over money than for any other reason - not true.

The #1 reason relationships end is the participants spend too f-cking much time together.

The friend is helping to see that this never happens to the two of you - go buy them BOTH something nice, your GF because you love her and the friend as a thank-you gift.

Just be sure not to spend all your money - you'll want to save some for a down payment on those replacement testicles you were admiring the other day.

There is no technical term for your situation but I believe the French have a term for you.

Androgene' Ignorame'


*

No thank necessary - always happy to help a bud.

- Chris

*

One other thing, PLEASE ask your girlfriend to stop leaving her panties at my house; my fiance is starting to suspect something !

[Jeebus]

timless advice from someone who knows. Unlike the guy below you. But you know, he's probably not foreign.

[whiskeytown]

I don't see why this is a problem....

I think it comes down to sitting your GF down and saying "Look, I really like what we have and I don't want your HS friend [censored] it up" -

If I would you, I'd pick a time when she's vulunerable - maybe in bed after you've gone down on her a couple times - (j/k - but you know what I mean...after one of those romantic moments) and say you're afriad of it ruining your relationship. Don't attack the girl, show ways in which the girl is attacking the two of you.

I would avoid doing it when she's in a BAD mood (even when griping about her friend) - - Catch her at a happy time.

RB

[Landon_McFly]

tell your chick that her friend made a pass at you.

[Claunchy]

[ QUOTE ]
tell your chick that her friend made a pass at you.

[/ QUOTE ]
Winner.

[ohnonotthat]

Find a girl who is even more f--ked up than your GF's friend and tell her that your GF's friend is a wonderful listener.

With any luck the new girl will take up so much of your GF's F's time with HER problems your GF's F will have no time to cry on your GF's shoulder.

Naturally if the girl you choose for this assignment is hot bone her too but do not tell her you did the girl you're sending her to - it could interfere with their future friendship.

Just rent a hooker, they are cheap and fun.

[Guyon]

[ QUOTE ]
tell your chick that her friend made a pass at you.

[/ QUOTE ]

The simplest solution is often best, and in this case, the solution above is gold.

By planting the seeds of deceit, your GF will begin to notice the things that piss you off about the sow. Enter feminine jealousy/man-preservation elements and the sow's as good as sassafrass.

Think of the contrary - let's say the sow says that YOU made a pass at HER...poison in the opposite direction. I suggest you drop this bomb before this manipulative bitch does you the favor.

[diebitter]

[ QUOTE ]
tell your chick that her friend made a pass at you.

[/ QUOTE ]

Captain Obvious predicts: This approach will backfire. why? Your GF is a soft touch, and will forgive the skidmark - they'll work out you were lying, and byebye baby.


EDIT: Also, don't tell lies to a long-term GF. That's a kid's game. Acting like a girl's hot is okay, as long as you don't say it!

[Lazymeatball]

I don't understand how this needy friend is detracting from your relationship with your gf. Are you getting less sex as a result? Because if not I don't see the problem.

[Guyon]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
tell your chick that her friend made a pass at you.

[/ QUOTE ]

Captain Obvious predicts: This approach will backfire. why? You're GF is a soft touch, and will forgive the skidmark - they'll work out you were lying, and byebye baby.

[/ QUOTE ]

Good point...just hire a hit.

[Los Feliz Slim]

I do not agree with most of these posts. Trying to undermine the friendship is absolutely the road to ruin, at least at the outset. It will be obvious what you're doing, and look petty and weak. If anything, you should intensify what's already going on, so it becomes as obvious to your girlfriend as it is to you. Invite her friend to be a part of EVERYTHING you guys do. When she's got a crisis, YOU be the guy with the Haagen Dazs (sp?) and the box of wine. This will a) make you look even sweeter because you care so much blah blah blah, and b) make your gf want her friend to chill. Only once you are firmly entrenched you can pawn the friend off on some sap you know (which will ALSO make you look good to your gf).

Patience, my friend, patience.

[Alobar]

have her killed

[diebitter]

[ QUOTE ]
...Invite her friend to be a part of EVERYTHING you guys do. When she's got a crisis, YOU be the guy with the Haagen Dazs (sp?) and the box of wine....

[/ QUOTE ]

I sort of meant this with the 'act like she's hot' suggestion. Your GF will get soo pissed off with this, it'll work wonders! And if she doesn't, definite threesome next time you're all drunk, possibly ongoing... /images/graemlins/smile.gif

[TripleH68]

[ QUOTE ]
Does anybody know any method to get this manipulative bitch the hell out of her life? I have tried the whole X does not care about you she is just using you line...

[/ QUOTE ]

Trying to outmanipulate this other girl will never work.
Women are the true masters of manipulation.

That said you should enjoy the time you have to yourself.
Your girlfriend will notice this.

[Jeebus]

This ain't a bad idea and women certainly are good at the whole manipulation thing.. Unfortunately I could enjoy myself alot more if I was getting laid as often as I should. Some of these suggestions are pretty good, I'll have some [censored] to think about today.

[peterchi]

[ QUOTE ]
What's up with people posting pictures of random hot chicks on these kind of threads? Yes, I remember the thread that started the trend, but it's the [censored] internet for chrissakes. It's not like pictures of hot chicks are scarce.

[/ QUOTE ]
If someone offers you a free snack, you don't say "Damn you, I could have just gone to the supermarket myself," do you?

[jaydub]

1. Why do you care that she has such a close friend and can't spend as much time with you? You sound like the needy bitch.
2. Do not say she made a pass, if you go that route, you must make her make the pass. The jealousy route is the best one because all women hate each other and are wired to be protective of their man. However if you lie, you will get caught and look really dumb.
3. You are ready to marry this chick it sounds like. If this [censored] causes such a problem, you're not even close.
4. If the issue is that you are not having sex enough, you quite possibly have a bigger problem that the other chick.

[Jeebus]

In relation to the constant question of why I care that she has friends, I don't. She can have as many friends as she wants and all that jazz. But this girl is not necessarily a friend, she is using my girlfriend to give herself constant attention. She has basically moved herself into her house and attached herself. My girlfriend has complained about it but then forgives and blah blah. When I am around this girl usurps anything we have going on between my girlfriend and myself so that it is about her and my g/f gives her attention. Same thing happens when talking on the phone, going out, etc etc. Most notable thing, one night got hammered and ended up staying at G/f's house. Other bitch has to stay in the same bed as well since there are people passed out everywhere else. I get woken up in the middle of the night when o/b crawls over me and pushes me to the other side of the bed so that she is between g/f and me.

Thinking about it now, perhaps she is trying to turn my g/f lesbian because there are stories in that regard. But then I have it from good sources that that is not what's going on.

Anyway, its not that I am needy and mad at not getting attention, I am realizing a trend which is beginning and need to get rid of the bitch since the g/f seems alittle clueless(what can I say she's hot but kinda out of it just like I like em :-))