Best Similies/Metaphors and other one-liners

[Landon_McFly]

Me and my friends always have little one-liners like when were leaving "I'm out like a fat kid playing dodgeball" or "I'm out like a boner in sweatpants".

Women eat this [censored] up. Whenever I'm at a party and say something like this girls are always like "you're so funny!"

Bottomline is I'm running out of material. Wondering what good ones you guys have.

My favs:

She could suck the bubblegum out of a blowpop

Sweatin like a homosexual eating a hotdog (Politcally Correct version)


Gimme what ya got! /images/graemlins/cool.gif

[Macdaddy Warsaw]

My favorite is, "Let's make like a fetus and head out."

[skipperbob]

"I'm your Huckelberry"

"Why, Johnny Ringo, looks like somebody just walked over your grave"

"You picked the Wrong cowboy"

"You won't have SkipperBob to kick around anymore"

[craig r]

"We will just pull a Rafael Palmeiro if we get caught." or "Make sure you totally Palmeiro it."

This is especially useful when failing a drug test at work. "No, Mr. Bossman, I thought it was Vitamin B that I injected, not smack."

"I am really trying to live my life like Kevin Spacey's character in "American Beauty."

This is useful when you are trying to explain to people why you work at McDonalds, smoke dope, and fantasize about 16 year olds.

craig

[Vince Young]

[ QUOTE ]
"I'm your Huckelberry"

"Why, Johnny Ringo, looks like somebody just walked over your grave"

"You picked the Wrong cowboy"

"You won't have SkipperBob to kick around anymore"

[/ QUOTE ]
What?

Just smile and nod at SFB.

We're lucky he's not posting pics of gMILFs.

[Alobar]

"its time to make like a bread truck and haul buns"

"im sweating like a pregnant nun"

"im on that like a fat kid on a cupcake"

[maxpower72]

Off like a prom dress

[Wad]

When you see a slutty girl:

If she had as many dicks sticking out of her that have been stuck in her, she'd look like a porcupine.

[Landon_McFly]

[ QUOTE ]
Off like a prom dress

[/ QUOTE ]
HOT LIKE FIYAH

[Hamish McBagpipe]

Uglier than a burnt rubber boot.

[Sponger15SB]

[ QUOTE ]
Me and my friends always have little one-liners like when were leaving "I'm out like a fat kid playing dodgeball"

[/ QUOTE ]

I hate it when people say this.

[Landon_McFly]

[ QUOTE ]
I hate it when people say this.

[/ QUOTE ]

FWIW, Out like a boner in sweatpants is my all time fav

[WLVRYN]

Someone already said the prom dress line. Dammit.

If you are having trouble getting out of a place (extended goodbyes or whatever), just say that you are off like a heard of turtles.

I'm out like Christopher Reeve in a game of Twister.

I'm out like Al Sharpton in a KKK election.
I'm out like a light bulb.
I'm out like your mom in a tank top.
I'm out like a porch light in the ghetto.

[BDarch]

I'm out like micheal J fox in jenga

[Landon_McFly]

[ QUOTE ]
I'm out like micheal J fox in jenga

[/ QUOTE ]

OMG



[ QUOTE ]
I'm out like Christopher Reeve in a game of Twister.


[/ QUOTE ]

OMG x2+2