A 6 month Aniversary Present, I didn't expect...

[imitation]

I'll try to keep this story brief but it is quite a strange one.

Background, I moved to China about 8mths ago and met a girl just over 6mths ago, things have gone well with her, we've been living together for about 3mths and obviously spend alot of time together (if someone offers later to host a picture of her I can email).

Anyway this month was our 6mth aniversary, which also coincided with her work holidays so we planned a nice holiday to her home town (she's from a small village originally and it was an amazing experience to see and live in more rural china). Anyway as part of this ofcourse came time to meet the parents, which isn't a big problem for me as i've dated chinese girls before and know that all you need to do to impress is eat like 4 bowls of rice and demonstrate your mastery of chopsticks.

On perhaps the second day of our holiday, her mother decides that we need to visit a Buddhist friend, monk(i'm not sure), to judge the strength of our relationship, not one to cause a scene I agree to go. I expect we will be arriving at a temple but it's actually just some ladies house with a small make shift prayer room.

As the lady takes us into her house and offers us sweets, oranges and some peculiar pickled ginger which is moist and salty I am aprehensive, I know that the mother places a bit of importance on this all. My girlfriend is led into the "prayer room", as the women begins to chant and light insense I feel the tension bouncing around the room, from a wonderful oil painting of Mao, to the scummy window outside which I can see someone has thrown there rubbish from one of the windows above. As the ceremony goes into full throw(sp) my girlfriend brings her hands together in the typical prayer fashion and....I realise for the first time in 6mths, she is missing the entire first knuckle of her middle finger....this is the most surreal moment of my life, i'm looking at the lady chanting i'm looking at her hands, I start to sweat, is this an omen???, am I forseeing something of religious importance, should I speak up, cry to the lord, don a robe and seclude myself in the shaolin mountains????? or have I just been really really ignorant of the fact for 6mths....I say nothing but keep glancing to be sure.

Anyway as the following days progress I am able to confirm that the finger portion is missing, the nail is gone.

Can anyone explain how this happened, I figure the window of confrontation is way way passed, I can't imagine how I can casually bring it up now, something like "did you cut of your finger and not tell me?" is probably not going to fly.

Anyway I eagerly await your advice.

[Evan]

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if someone offers later to host a picture of her I can email

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Imageshack

As for the finger thing, I don't really know what to say. Pretty weird and I think you've got to be pretty oblivious.

[WackityWhiz]

It's not good if you can't bring this up by just being honest and asking her.

http://www.adage.com/century/GRAPHICS/campaign_nike.jpg

and let us know what happens

[imitation]

dude it's just [censored] weird, i mean i've asked her about other small little scars on her body or personal things about her life, not to mention we have sex it's not like I don't think we can be intimate and share emotions, yada yada, but a finger and 6.5 months what am I meant to say....

[Roman]

"So, what happened to your finger?"

[stabn]

She is probably sensitive about it and hides it well. I would probably pretend i didn't notice and definitely wouldn't bring it up.

[WackityWhiz]

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dude it's just [censored] weird

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ya man, it's definately weird... but I just don't see any other way you can approach it.

maybe someone is clever enough to think of a funny way to bring it up... i was thinking about the missing finger gag that you play on children...

but then I thought about it some more, and it's just morbid and wrong. Lame-o

gl

[Cry Me A River]

So, tell her you've been wondering about it all this time and didn't want to be rude and your curiosity has been driving you nuts...

Or, just don't mention it and try not to obssess about it. A missing fingertip is pretty easy to not notice...

[KaneKungFu123]

if i understand correctly, from her knuckle upwards her finger is missing?

how could you not notice this? seriously, this is really weird.

[Eurotrash]

have you considered giving her a Chinese finger trap?

[WackityWhiz]

or you could just buy her a finger tip grip bowling ball

again, morbid and wrong... the more I think about this, the more i realise how hard this could be. Either just ask straight up, or don't bring it up.

[KaneKungFu123]

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A missing fingertip is pretty easy to not notice...

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Not after a 6 month relationship, atleast in my world.

[imitation]

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if i understand correctly, from her knuckle upwards her finger is missing?

how could you not notice this? seriously, this is really weird.

[/ QUOTE ]

I really have no explanation the thing is she regularly has her finger nails painted and shows me them afterwards, also being definitly chinese she's always posing with the peace sign in photos, which obviously involves the middle finger.

[WackityWhiz]

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[ QUOTE ]
if i understand correctly, from her knuckle upwards her finger is missing?

how could you not notice this? seriously, this is really weird.

[/ QUOTE ]

I really have no explanation the thing is she regularly has her finger nails painted and shows me them afterwards, also being definitly chinese she's always posing with the peace sign in photos, which obviously involves the middle finger.

[/ QUOTE ]

lol, maybe she has a prosthetic (sp?) finger

[MarkL444]

wheres the [censored] picture

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wheres the [censored] picture

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The SAME THING happened to me! I was dating this girl from north korea and we went to see a crazy prayer woman, and while she was doing her little song and dance her freaking leg fell off! It was weird.....


OK, I cant back that up

[JackWilson]

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if i understand correctly, from her knuckle upwards her finger is missing?

how could you not notice this? seriously, this is really weird.

[/ QUOTE ]

I really have no explanation the thing is she regularly has her finger nails painted and shows me them afterwards, also being definitly chinese she's always posing with the peace sign in photos, which obviously involves the middle finger.

[/ QUOTE ]

lol, maybe she has a prosthetic (sp?) finger

[/ QUOTE ]

This sounds very likely. I suspect for some reason she has to take it off when entering a place of worship or something like that.

[Duke]

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have you considered giving her a Chinese finger trap?

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And have her get flashbacks?

How in the hell do you think she lost it in the first place?

~D

[Eurotrash]

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have you considered giving her a Chinese finger trap?

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And have her get flashbacks?

How in the hell do you think she lost it in the first place?

~D

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heh, i was considering making that "flashbacks" bit part of my original post but decided not to.


vn

My right hand index finger is mangled, I had it chopped off and put back on, so there is considerable scarring. It is not completely gone, but you can def tell there is something wrong with it, I have never thought to bring it up in conversation. Maybe she is like me, and just forgot about it/ thought it wasnt that big of a deal.

[gulebjorn]

She must have very nice boobies.

Have someone you are friends ask her and have them relay the message, similiar to "I forgot this girls name I just met so send one of my friends in to meet her and then give the name to me later" trick!

[ QUOTE ]
Have someone you are friends ask her and have them relay the message, similiar to "I forgot this girls name I just met so send one of my friends in to meet her and then give the name to me later" trick!

[/ QUOTE ]
6th grade all over again

[Sponger15SB]

Break up with her now. Missing a fingertip? That is just gross.

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Have someone you are friends ask her and have them relay the message, similiar to "I forgot this girls name I just met so send one of my friends in to meet her and then give the name to me later" trick!

[/ QUOTE ]
6th grade all over again

[/ QUOTE ]

6th grade...pfft! I use that last week, You gotta better Idea?

[ QUOTE ]
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[ QUOTE ]
Have someone you are friends ask her and have them relay the message, similiar to "I forgot this girls name I just met so send one of my friends in to meet her and then give the name to me later" trick!

[/ QUOTE ]
6th grade all over again

[/ QUOTE ]

6th grade...pfft! I use that last week, You gotta better Idea?

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no....




nh /images/graemlins/frown.gif

[Ponks]

Look at old pictures of her and see if you notice anything there.

Ponks

[HopeydaFish]

Maybe they cut off part of her finger for dating a "foreign devil"?

[JaBlue]

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Maybe they cut off part of her finger for dating a "foreign devil"?

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as far as I can see, OP is not black

[HopeydaFish]

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Maybe they cut off part of her finger for dating a "foreign devil"?

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as far as I can see, OP is not black

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I'm sure not being chinese is sufficient.

[mostsmooth]

ttiwwp

[ClaytonN]

How incredibly shallow if you're letting this get in the way of anything in your relationship.

This reminds me of that movie Shallow Hal where Jason Alexander breaks up with a "Ten" model because her index toe is longer than her big toe.

But, umm... pics!

[Jurollo]

Missing appendages are weird, kick her to the curb! Then again, I am shallow.
~Justin

[mostsmooth]

[ QUOTE ]
How incredibly shallow if you're letting this get in the way of anything in your relationship.

This reminds me of that movie Shallow Hal where Jason Alexander breaks up with a "Ten" model because her index toe is longer than her big toe.

But, umm... pics!

[/ QUOTE ]
i think you missed the point of his hangup in that movie?

[GoblinMason (Craig)]

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Have someone you are friends ask her and have them relay the message, similiar to "I forgot this girls name I just met so send one of my friends in to meet her and then give the name to me later" trick!

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http://www.cnn.com/SHOWBIZ/seinfeld/video/mulva.jpg

Mulva?

[ClaytonN]

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i think you missed the point of his hangup in that movie?

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i remember his motive, I'm just making an independant example

[imitation]

Pic (http://img168.imageshack.us/my.php?image=holidaywitheffie0479tl.jpg)

I asked a friend about this who's known her for about 3mths and he also says he's never noticed. FWIW just now I found a photo where it is partially visible from about 5mths ago, but the angle is pretty poor so you can't really see.

[Brom]

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Anyway this month was our 6mth aniversary

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There are no 6 month anniversaries. No monthiversaries, weekiversaries, 7 and a half monthiversaries, 39 dayiversaries, or 4 houriversaries,

Anniversary - The annually recurring date of a past event.
Annually, i.e. once a year. That is all I have to say.

[Alobar]

bringing it up is easy, obviously since you didnt know about it, shes never mentioned it so some time post sex when you are playing with her hands or some [censored], just say "you know, you never told me what happened to your finger"

as for you having never seen it, I dunno man. They all look the same, so it should have been obvious right? heh

[Dominic]

a finger's nothing. I once dated this incredibly hot chick for about 3 months, only to discover she didn't have a brain. Nothing between the ears at all. Air. Can you imagine?

[Sightless]

[ QUOTE ]
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Have someone you are friends ask her and have them relay the message, similiar to "I forgot this girls name I just met so send one of my friends in to meet her and then give the name to me later" trick!

[/ QUOTE ]

http://www.cnn.com/SHOWBIZ/seinfeld/video/mulva.jpg

Mulva?

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I never got this, which female body part does Mulva rhyme with, yesterday while watchign this episode i figured out what Deloris rhymes with.

[daryn]

vulva?

not rocket science

[Sightless]

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vulva?

not rocket science

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thank you

[vexvelour]

Perhaps, if you're really curious, you could say:

"You know, I've noticed your middle finger before, but I didn't want to make you feel uncomfortable asking about it. Do you mind if I ask what happened?"


Anyway, if you've never noticed it before it shouldn't be a big deal.

And by the way, ^poster is right: anniversaries are once a year.

She does have nice boobies.

[boedeker]

a very similar thing happened to me when i was in college. one sunday i was super hung over and just chilling, my friend had to move his girlfriend out of her apartment so i went along and just layed on the floor. when the girlfriend came over infront of me and i looked up and saw that she was missing the middle three fingers on one of her hands so it looked like a "hang loose" sign. i had known this girl for about 3 years and never noticed. i was like, "WHOOOAAAAA wait wait what happened to your hand." she said, "what you never noticed this?" "i said no." my mind was blown. apparently my friend told me it took him like about 2 or 3 months to notice.

some people are good at hiding this type of stuff.

[Lottery Larry]

I'm wondering how you didn't notice this for 6 months