Movie Review: Rent

[andyfox]

An excellent movie to see if you played too much poker last night and need some rest. Make sure you fall soundly asleep during the first hour, though, as the second hour gets a little loud and might wake you. The third hour is even louder.

The fourth hour is the worst. Mimi apparently dies. But then, the camera pans down to her hand. Alas, one of her fingers twitches. SHE'S ALIVE. On, no. That means it's not over. The movie then ends three more times.

Most of the scenes feature a very dark cinematography so you don't have to see much. The lyrics to a few of the songs are clever, and they remind you of their cleverness by usually being repeated several times.

The movie is 525,600 minutes too long.

[Blarg]

This looks like the gayest chick flick of the year. You must have had to undo some seriously bad karma to even consider seeing it, or have a girlfirend who brutally pushes her advatange during the holidays.

[billymonk]

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The movie is 525,600 minutes too long.

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This reminds me of how Maddox from the greatest webpage in the universe ends his articles, where 525,600 is the number of people who have viewed the article.

Nice review.

[private joker]

This piece of sh|t has inspired some of the funniest, most well-written movie reviews I've seen in years.

Here is a link (http://www.laweekly.com/ink/06/01/film-foundas.php) to Scott Foundas's awesome review in the L.A. Weekly.

And since the L.A. Times is a subscription only, here is Carina Chocano's scorching pwnage:

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How to put this. "Rent" is a Chris Columbus adaptation of a smash-hit Broadway musical about artistic integrity, counterculture, political activism and squatters' rights that may have been the most successful moneymaking venture ever staked on selling the idea that "selling out" is bad.

(Two tickets for an 8 p.m. Friday show at the Nederlander Theater in New York, up to $295 apiece. The chance to tap your Ferragamo-shod toe to lyrics like "No pension … hating convention … hating pretension … riding your bike midday past the three-piece suits?" Priceless.)

It's hard to put the experience of watching "Rent" into words, especially after "Team America: World Police" said everything there was to say about the play with puppets, and so succinctly. ("Everyone has AIDS! AIDS AIDS AIDS! AIDS AIDS AIDS AIDS AIDS AIDS! Everyone has AIDS!")

But I'll try.

"Rent" is commodified faux bohemia on a platter, eliciting the same kind of numbing soul-sadness as children's beauty pageants, tiny dogs in expensive boots, Mahatma Gandhi in Apple ads. It's about art, activism and counterculture in the same way that a poster of a kitten hanging from a tree branch ("Hang in There!") is about commitment and heroic perseverance. It represents everything the people it pretends to stand for hate. And it doesn't even know it. Watching it feels sort of like watching "Touched by an Angel" with your grandmother and realizing that although you're clearly looking at the same thing, you're seeing something entirely different. It's awkward to behold.

The movie begins on a stage, with all of the characters lined up singing "Seasons of Love." The theater setting is the movie's single reference to its origins, but though the characters soon leave the stage for good, the movie never really does. Compared to a masterpiece of the genre such as "Cabaret," "Rent" seems to find its new status as a film more embarrassing than liberating, and it clings to its own theatricality for dear life, as though it were Blanche DuBois and someone had just flipped on the lights.

It's Dec. 24, 1989, and Mark Cohen (Anthony Rapp), an earnest filmmaker with a Bolex camera strapped to his handlebars, rides through the streets of Lower Manhattan, earnestly photographing homeless people and singing.

Returning home to his Alphabet City loft, he finds his heat and electricity have been turned off. His roommate, Roger (Adam Pascal), a musician, informs him that they've received an eviction notice from their former friend, roommate and fellow artist Benny (Taye Diggs), who has married up, up and away to the landlord's daughter.

Meanwhile, their friend Tom Collins (Jesse L. Martin), a philosophy professor who just got fired from MIT for his "theory of actual reality," is mugged in an alley, where he's rescued by a loving drag queen named Angel (Wilson Jermaine Heredia); and a heroin-addicted exotic dancer named Mimi Marquez (Rosario Dawson) swoons over her upstairs neighbor Roger, who assiduously ignores her. Wouldn't you know it — everyone has AIDS. Roger, Mimi, Angel and Tom do, anyway. The rest of the gang is merely broke and dysfunctional.

Soon, Benny shows up, offering to reinstate rent-free living if Mark and Roger help stop a protest, planned by Mark's ex-girlfriend Maureen (Idina Menzel). This would pave the way for his new "state of the art virtual digital interactive studio." Maureen, a narcissistic performance artist, has recently left Mark for a lawyer named Joanne (Tracie Thoms), but Mark and Roger would rather starve, freeze and sing about it than lift one finger toward the neighborhood's gentrification.

Not that you blame them. Or you wouldn't, if the movie didn't make it so hard not to roll your eyes every five minutes. For all its passionate defense of bohemian living ("Rent" is cribbed from Puccini's "La Bohème"), much of it delivered from atop a table at a local restaurant where the bourgeoisie stick around to be dutifully épaté, the movie's supposed admiration for the lives of noncommercial artists doesn't touch its withering disdain for their work.

How is anyone supposed to get behind a guy whose "films" are just home movies of the homeless and his soon-to-be homeless friends? (In one scene, a homeless woman begins to call him on it, but ends up just deriding him for being poor. "Hey, artist, do you have a dollar? I didn't think so." Oh, snap.) Or behind a blocked songwriter who spends an entire year agonizing over a song that turns out to be a bunch of moldy clichés set to power chords? Or a performance artist whose "multimedia protest" would make Laurie Anderson's eyes bleed? Only the fashion-obsessed drag queen and the uptight lawyer avoid the lethal combination of pretension, sentimentality, self-congratulation and posturing that more or less characterizes their friends' work — hey, everybody needs fashion and laws.

Well, so what. "Rent" isn't about work, anyway. It's about love and death on the Lower East Side, before it became the kind of place where people would pay lots of money to see "Rent." While Angel and Tom get the issue of T-cell counts out of the way in the first few minutes, it takes Roger much longer to spill the beans to Mimi. ("You tooo?" "Me tooo.")

After the flurry of the initial couplings — Tom and Angel, Mimi and Roger, Maureen and Joanne, Mark and his artistic integrity — things start to come apart. Mimi can't stay off the smack, so Roger walks away. Maureen can't stop chasing girls, so Joanne gives up. Mark gets approached by a show called "Buzzline," which loves his "hip 'n' edgy" footage of the protest and ensuing police riot, so he sells out. (It says something, though I'm not sure what, exactly, that Sarah Silverman, in a brief appearance as the slick TV executive who happily purchases Mark's hip 'n' edginess for $3,000, comes across as the only believable character in the film — she's so fake, she's real.)

The most amazing thing about "Rent" (and be sure to look for that adjective on a movie poster near you, with an exclamation point attached) is how painfully dated and achingly false the movie feels, when its central concerns are real and more relevant than ever. How is that possible? Because to scratch "Rent's" Gap fashion grunge-wear surface is to hit a mother lode of disconnect and contempt for the very things it has co-opted.

Is it fair, or even seemly, to expect even a modicum of authenticity or cool from a Hollywood adaptation of a Broadway musical? Probably not. But this constant corporate exhumation and trotting around of counterculture's corpse — it's not fun anymore.

You know what would be fun? If Columbus had turned the story inside out and made the rapacious developers and marauding executives the heroes of the story. Why not? To the victor goes the official version, etc. At least that might have rung true.

Plus, I have a great title for it. They could have called it "Own."

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[Blarg]

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But this constant corporate exhumation and trotting around of counterculture's corpse — it's not fun anymore.

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Well done. L.A. Weekly is famous around L.A. for its often brilliantly withering power slams of movies, though some of the gut-ripping fury leaves as its staff comes and goes. But I've gotten many a gut-busting laugh over the vicious, piercing, mean-spirited accuracy of its movie reviews.

Chris Columbus being the director was not a good sign, either. But this concept has been cheesy from the start.

[Dominic]

I remember when this was the biggest thing of the year - Tony Awards for Best Musical, etc. I was dragged to go see it by an ex in New York.

I thought it was exactly the way the reviewer in the OPs post said it was. But everytime I opened my mouth and said, "hey, this like really sucks." I'd get hounded by all these idiots who proclaimed it the best musical since "Chicago" or "Cabaret."

I made my then-girlfriend go to a revival showing of Bob Fosse's "All That Jazz," to show her what a real musical, what a real piece of art, was.

She hated it. We broke up. Thank god.

And "Rent" still blows.

[Blarg]

Jeez, you are WAY better off. The Fosse film version of All That Jazz was fantastic! I don't even like musicals and I saw that thing a dozen times, and not just for the sexiness of it. Roy Scheider was great! The dancing was more than tolerable. The story was good. I love that flick.

[OtisTheMarsupial]

I loved it.
But then, I liked it when it was on stage rather than on screen.
I think they did a great adaptation.
And it's not really 4 hours long. It's more like 2.5

If you don't like musicals, which I'm betting most of you don't, don't see it.

[loudog]

I loved it.

u = moron

[OtisTheMarsupial]

OK, member.

[CD56]

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I loved it.

u = moron

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cant argue with that logic

[TheMetetron]

I liked it to, as did everyone I saw it with.

Then again, I thought it was really good when I saw it on Broadway as well. Sure, it's not Cabaret or Chicago, but it's still good.

The movie wasn't as good as the play, but the play still very much deserved the Tony awards it got.

[loudog]

I liked it to, as did everyone I saw it with.

http://homepage.mac.com/akitzmil/iblog/C826490882/E6426770/Media/fag_hater.jpg

[Dominic]

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Jeez, you are WAY better off. The Fosse film version of All That Jazz was fantastic! I don't even like musicals and I saw that thing a dozen times, and not just for the sexiness of it. Roy Scheider was great! The dancing was more than tolerable. The story was good. I love that flick.

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me too, one of my all-time faves...and it was never a stage play...only a film...

[andyfox]

When Fosse approached Scheider, saying he wanted him because they looked like each other, Scheider said "but I don't dance." Fosse said, "Leave that to me."

The scene with the doctor examining Scheider, both of them coughing with cigarettes in their mouths, was a classic. My favorite line was when they were wheeling him in for surgery and he turned to his ex-wife and said, "If I die, I'm sorry for everything I did to you"; and then to his wife-to-be and said, "And if I live, I'm sorry for everything I'm going to do to you."

[pryor15]

i figured this would be pretty bad when they hired columbus to direct, and even worse when i saw the trailer.

[Dominic]

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When Fosse approached Scheider, saying he wanted him because they looked like each other, Scheider said "but I don't dance." Fosse said, "Leave that to me."

The scene with the doctor examining Scheider, both of them coughing with cigarettes in their mouths, was a classic. My favorite line was when they were wheeling him in for surgery and he turned to his ex-wife and said, "If I die, I'm sorry for everything I did to you"; and then to his wife-to-be and said, "And if I live, I'm sorry for everything I'm going to do to you."

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And Jessica Lange as the Angel of Death....wow. I'd die in her arms any day.

[Peter666]

I am only curious if everybody in the film got: Aids, aids, aids, aids, aids, aids, aids, aids, aids, aids.

[unlucky513]

wow, i was conned into seeing this movie this weekend.

AWFUL

i fell asleep 20 minutes in and i was awakened because i was drooling on my gf's shoulder. this is the first movie that i have fallen asleep for, and then tried to fall asleep again.

do not let a girl talk you into seeing this. under any condition.