I got beat up by my neighbor... [Archive] - Two Plus Two Older Archives

JihadOnTheRiver

11-22-2005, 10:41 PM

...when I was younger (about 12 I think at the time). He was actually my friend/neighbor's uncle, who was in town for Thanksgiving. He went to the park with a bunch of the kids from the neighborhood as the only adult (35 or so I believe). We were playing some sort of game and he pissed me off, and since I was a snotty kid, I said something snotty. He slapped me around a bit, slammed me up against a chain-link fence, cussed me out pretty good, and scared the absolute [censored] out of me. I thought I was going to die right there, and I hadn't even touched a bewb yet.

I was crying, he went home without the kids, I went home and told my father. I stayed in the house, and my father went and handled things like a [censored] champ of course.

Fast forward to today. I'm back home for the holiday, and I get out of my car with my mom. I see my neighbors congregating in their front yard. We get into the house and my mom asks me if I recognize the guy wearing some sort of hat. I say no. She says, yup, its him.

So now I'm excited. I'm 230 # and very strong these days. My friends tell me I'm intimidatingly large. I think I need to intimidate. SOOOOOOOOOO.....

I'm going over there tomorrow. What should I say? Should I take a swing? I kinda feel like it. What should I do? This is gonna be awesome. Of course, the report will follow the incident for OOT viewing pleasure...

-Jihad

tdarko

11-22-2005, 10:43 PM

you were 12 right?

istewart

11-22-2005, 10:43 PM

Taking revenge for [censored] that happened ninety years ago is only for people who live in Kentucky.

InchoateHand

11-22-2005, 10:44 PM

I think you are [censored] pathetic if you are still holding onto this [censored], and the only difference is now you are a 230# piece of obnoxious [censored], but hey, thats just my opinion.

11-22-2005, 10:44 PM

First off, I definitely thought you meant that you got beat up today by your neighbor (just by going by your title.) I really wanted to hear about that /images/graemlins/grin.gif. Secondly, you should talk to him about "that day he acted like a complete [censored] and jerk to [you]." If you are big enough, he won't say anything in defense. He might even apologize.

gunt

11-22-2005, 10:45 PM

kick his ass seabass!

2+2 wannabe

11-22-2005, 10:45 PM

[ QUOTE ]
Taking revenge for [censored] that happened ninety years ago is only for people who live in the Midwest

[/ QUOTE ]

fluxrad

11-22-2005, 10:45 PM

emotional baggage much?

ThaSaltCracka

11-22-2005, 10:45 PM

whats the point?

jokerthief

11-22-2005, 10:46 PM

I will dissent from the crowd. I say go punch him in the face.

dblgutshot

11-22-2005, 10:46 PM

You make the United States of America proud.

11-22-2005, 10:47 PM

[ QUOTE ]
whats the point?

[/ QUOTE ]

You guys really shouldnt be giving correct advice in this instance, the trip report might be hilarious if he actually does something.

ThaSaltCracka

11-22-2005, 10:48 PM

be quiet Canada.

istewart

11-22-2005, 10:48 PM

[ QUOTE ]
be quiet Canada.

[/ QUOTE ]

Nice.

Vince Young

11-22-2005, 10:49 PM

[ QUOTE ]
I will dissent from the crowd. I say go punch him in the face.

[/ QUOTE ]

dblgutshot

11-22-2005, 10:49 PM

[ QUOTE ]
be quiet Canada.

[/ QUOTE ]

Okay. Thank you.

willie

11-22-2005, 10:50 PM

i will dissent also

just walk up and talk some quick [censored] if you feel liike it-

something to the effect of, "hey remember slapping me around when i was a little kid you lowlife mf pos csucker?"

and if he says yes

"k, i was just checking"

ThaSaltCracka

11-22-2005, 10:51 PM

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
be quiet Canada.

[/ QUOTE ]

Okay. Thank you.

[/ QUOTE ]BTW, Alberta is exactly like the Northern Midwest of America....EXACTLY ALIKE.

dblgutshot

11-22-2005, 10:52 PM

[ QUOTE ]
BTW, Alberta is exactly like the Northern Midwest of America....EXACTLY ALIKE.

[/ QUOTE ]

They are rich in oil and eat a lot of beef?

uw_madtown

11-22-2005, 10:54 PM

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Taking revenge for [censored] that happened ninety years ago is only for people who live in the Midwest

[/ QUOTE ]

[/ QUOTE ]

No, his post was right the first time.

bosoxfan

11-22-2005, 10:54 PM

What would be really great is if you went over to intimidate him and he kicked your ass again.

istewart

11-22-2005, 10:54 PM

[ QUOTE ]
What would be really great is if you went over to intimidate him and he kicked your ass again.

[/ QUOTE ]

lmfao

dblgutshot

11-22-2005, 10:55 PM

[ QUOTE ]
What would be really great is if you went over to intimidate him and he kicked your ass again.

[/ QUOTE ]

lol

ThaSaltCracka

11-22-2005, 10:56 PM

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
What would be really great is if you went over to intimidate him and he kicked your ass again.

[/ QUOTE ]

lol

[/ QUOTE ]Canada, I would like to share this "LOL" with you, my Northern Bretheren.

jokerthief

11-22-2005, 10:56 PM

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
whats the point?

[/ QUOTE ]

You guys really shouldnt be giving correct advice in this instance, the trip report might be hilarious if he actually does something.

[/ QUOTE ]

It's more than that. It's about self respect and healing old wounds.

11-22-2005, 10:58 PM

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
whats the point?

[/ QUOTE ]

You guys really shouldnt be giving correct advice in this instance, the trip report might be hilarious if he actually does something.

[/ QUOTE ]

It's more than that. It's about self respect and healing old wounds.

[/ QUOTE ]

Right on man, go kick his ass.

dblgutshot

11-22-2005, 11:00 PM

Jihad, did your dad kick his ass or just talk to him?

A_C_Slater

11-22-2005, 11:02 PM

Real gangsta ass niggas don't flex nuts, cause real gangsta ass niggas know they got em.

thatpfunk

11-22-2005, 11:08 PM

tool

MCS

11-22-2005, 11:09 PM

That was some bait-and-switch stuff right there. Posting about getting beat up, and then we find out it happened when you were twelve.

Autocratic

11-22-2005, 11:10 PM

I say you start up a conversation about how you used to get picked on when you were younger, and how you've recently decided to seek revenge upon everyone that wronged you. After explaining that, he'll likely be silent. Light up a cigarette, it'll make him nervous.

11-22-2005, 11:13 PM

[ QUOTE ]
Light up a cigarette, it'll make him nervous.

[/ QUOTE ] and put it out on his arm

ThaSaltCracka

11-22-2005, 11:14 PM

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Light up a cigarette, it'll make him nervous.

[/ QUOTE ] and put it out on his forehead

[/ QUOTE ]FYP

dblgutshot

11-22-2005, 11:15 PM

I think it would be more intimidating if you put it out on your own forehead. without blinking.

11-22-2005, 11:16 PM

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Light up a cigarette, it'll make him nervous.

[/ QUOTE ] and put it out on his forehead

[/ QUOTE ]FYP

[/ QUOTE ]
i was thinking this or maybe the inside of his ear. that would hurt. a lot.

ThaSaltCracka

11-22-2005, 11:16 PM

you are right, he should totally do this and post a pic.

11-22-2005, 11:30 PM

So jihad, have you figured out what you are going to do?

Boris

11-22-2005, 11:32 PM

nice man. kick his ass. Revenge is a dish best served cold.

JihadOnTheRiver

11-22-2005, 11:33 PM

I really can't believe you guys don't see the humor in this. Guy beats up on a kid, kid gets bigger, guy can no longer beat up on kid, hilarity ensues.

Also, I never said I was planning on punching the guy. Just that I feel like it. You guys really need to grow down.

11-22-2005, 11:33 PM

Maybe you can smack around one of his kids.

gamblore99

11-22-2005, 11:34 PM

From what I gather you are like 30-35, and this guy is now like mid 50's. Beating him up for something he did 20 years ago seems really stupid unless he does something similiar.

send_the_msg

11-22-2005, 11:36 PM

[ QUOTE ]
Maybe you can smack around one of his kids.

[/ QUOTE ]

now that would be one hell of a neighborhood

InchoateHand

11-22-2005, 11:36 PM

From what I gather, Jihad is nowhere near 30-35, and I cry for my children if I'm wrong (and I go and beat up one of his if you are right).

RatFink

11-22-2005, 11:39 PM

Just stop by and say hey I'm taking some of the kids to the park to play ball, are your kids interested in joining?

AceHigh

11-22-2005, 11:41 PM

Take him out to a bar, get him really really drunk (buy the drinks) then beat the crap out of him.

Apathy

11-22-2005, 11:42 PM

http://i.imdb.com/mptv1.gif

"Remember me from Kindergarten?"

Sponger15SB

11-22-2005, 11:42 PM

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Light up a cigarette, it'll make him nervous.

[/ QUOTE ] and put it out on your own arm

[/ QUOTE ]FYP

[/ QUOTE ]

JihadOnTheRiver

11-22-2005, 11:46 PM

[ QUOTE ]
From what I gather, Jihad is nowhere near 30-35, and I cry for my children if I'm wrong (and I go and beat up one of his if you are right).

[/ QUOTE ]
25. I don't get it.

InchoateHand

11-23-2005, 12:01 AM

Pointless histrionics, mainly because they are fun. There is nothing to get. And I'll still beat up your kid while he is small enough to handle.

11-23-2005, 12:21 AM

take him down like a sucka

utmt40

11-23-2005, 12:39 AM

[ QUOTE ]
You make the United States of America proud.

[/ QUOTE ]

Arnfinn Madsen

11-23-2005, 12:41 AM

Do something mean. He deserves it.

11-23-2005, 12:52 AM

Cut him up good. Hang his dog in the front yard. Slam his face into the driveway until he stops moving. No j/k don't do that. Well...no don't do that.

Blarg

11-23-2005, 12:53 AM

I thought you said your dad already handled this.

Blarg

11-23-2005, 01:01 AM

[ QUOTE ]
Take him out to a bar, get him really really drunk (buy the drinks) then beat the crap out of him.

[/ QUOTE ]

Don't stop halfway there. Take him out to a bar, get him really really drunk (buy the drinks), make sweet gentle love to him, then beat the crap out of him.

HopeydaFish

11-23-2005, 01:27 AM

[ QUOTE ]
I thought you said your dad already handled this.

[/ QUOTE ]

I'm a little curious as to what his dad did to the guy, actually.

ChipWrecked

11-23-2005, 01:43 AM

If you were a snotty 12 year old, and you said something snotty, then you needed the [censored] slapped out of you.

You should buy the guy a thank you beer.

JihadOnTheRiver

11-23-2005, 01:48 AM

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I thought you said your dad already handled this.

[/ QUOTE ]

I'm a little curious as to what his dad did to the guy, actually.

[/ QUOTE ]

He bought him a session of therapy and cooked him a chicken salad. They talked about the incident and agreed that the Giants were, in fact, not going to win the World Series that year.

MonkeeMan

11-23-2005, 01:56 AM

[ QUOTE ]
I say you start up a conversation about how you used to get picked on when you were younger, and how you've recently decided to seek revenge upon everyone that wronged you. After explaining that, he'll likely be silent. Sucker punch him and then light up a cigarette after you SIIHP.

[/ QUOTE ]

11-23-2005, 02:03 AM

[ QUOTE ]
If you were a snotty 12 year old, and you said something snotty, then you needed the [censored] slapped out of you.

You should buy the guy a thank you beer.

[/ QUOTE ]

He slapped me around a bit, slammed me up against a chain-link fence, cussed me out pretty good, and scared the absolute [censored] out of me. I thought I was going to die right there, and I hadn't even touched a bewb yet

Maybe a slap but don't you think the huy went to far?

Blarg

11-23-2005, 02:14 AM

Depends how it went down I guess, but a little putting the feear of his maker into him might have been a very sweet trade-off compared to taking more slapping around. And it might have helped keep the slapping to a single session instead of a recurring event.

housenuts

11-23-2005, 02:22 AM

put a Jihad on him

Weatherhead03

11-23-2005, 02:32 AM

Doing anything to him now is not going to solve anything. Ever think he made a serious mistake and has been regretting it ever since he did that?

I agree that talking about it would make you feel a lot better but beating the [censored] out of him is not the way to solve it.

tom441lbk

11-23-2005, 02:50 AM

[ QUOTE ]
kick his ass seabass!

[/ QUOTE ]

ethan

11-23-2005, 03:44 AM

Boot in his ass/American way/etc.

Or at least intimate that that's what's going to happen. It'll be funny, and you don't actually have to threaten him. Just remind him of the story. Maybe flex or something.

Punker

11-23-2005, 03:52 AM

Personally I would do nothing, and believe that's the correct action.

However, for my viewing pleasure, I advise you go to start a fight with him and post about it.

DMBFan23

11-23-2005, 03:52 AM

[ QUOTE ]
I will dissent from the crowd. I say go punch him in the face.

[/ QUOTE ]

diebitter

11-23-2005, 04:36 AM

Half of me says 'let it go', but grown men slapping about 12 year olds really, really pisses me off, even if it's not that hard.

That sort of stuff stays with people, and burns them up, and they just can't drop it...

All I suggest is don't get too keyed up. There's every chance he'll be embarrassed and apologise, and you don't want the adrenaline pumping when there's no cause for it.

Alternatively, you could go flirt with him, and tell him how 'manly' he was back then.

Blarg

11-23-2005, 04:50 AM

Eurotrash

11-23-2005, 04:59 AM

[ QUOTE ]
What would be really great is if you went over to intimidate him and he kicked your ass again.

[/ QUOTE ]

picturing this is making me actually laugh out loud, nice one

samjjones

11-23-2005, 11:50 AM

[ QUOTE ]
I stayed in the house, and my father went and handled things like a [censored] champ of course.

Fast forward to today. I'm back home for the holiday, and I get out of my car with my mom. I see my neighbors congregating in their front yard. We get into the house and my mom asks me if I recognize the guy wearing some sort of hat. I say no. She says, yup, its him.

[/ QUOTE ]
Unless the guy wearing the hat was in a wheelchair or was in fact a ghost, your dad did not properly "handle things like a [censored] champ".

SackUp

11-23-2005, 11:57 AM

take Mrs. Mantooth out for a nice seafood dinner, make sweet love to her and then never return her phone calls.

that will teach him!

JihadOnTheRiver

11-23-2005, 12:28 PM

[ QUOTE ]
Depends how it went down I guess, but a little putting the feear of his maker into him might have been a very sweet trade-off compared to taking more slapping around. And it might have helped keep the slapping to a single session instead of a recurring event.

[/ QUOTE ]

He was violent. He beat me up. I was 12 and had not met him up to that point. It was uncalled for to say the least.

Dominic

11-23-2005, 06:32 PM

[ QUOTE ]
Maybe you can smack around one of his kids.

[/ QUOTE ]

Brilliant!

and in twenty years, the cycle of senseless violence can continue....this is always a good thing.

Phoenix1010

11-23-2005, 06:51 PM

Honestly, I wouldn't let it sit. If it was some guy that beat me up when we were both kids, I could see letting it go on the grounds of a youthful mistake. But he was a grown ass man when the incident too place, he holds full responsibility for his actions (then again, I wasn't a snotty kid, maybe he gave you the assbeating your parents should have, and you should thank him, who knows). I wouldn't get any pleasure out of beating up an old bag pushing 50, but I'd probably make my presence felt. You should go over there and ask him if he still beats up little kids. Then ask him if he has tickets to the "gun show," and flex your biceps.

Oblivious

11-23-2005, 06:54 PM

I had a couple fights when i was a kid. I had an edge in these situations, meaning i was either older or bigger. Later in life I ran into one of the kids i had a fight with and he said to me "I should hit you!" Of course he just smiled and shook my hand. In this case it was two grownups meeting after having a fight as kids. In your case its two grown ups meeting after an adult crossed the line and should have known better.

Kick his ass.

LondonBroil

11-23-2005, 08:08 PM

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Depends how it went down I guess, but a little putting the feear of his maker into him might have been a very sweet trade-off compared to taking more slapping around. And it might have helped keep the slapping to a single session instead of a recurring event.

[/ QUOTE ]

He was violent. He beat me up. I was 12 and had not met him up to that point. It was uncalled for to say the least.

[/ QUOTE ]

Stab him in the eye with a steak knife.

chesspain

11-23-2005, 08:38 PM

[ QUOTE ]

I'm going over there tomorrow. What should I say? Should I take a swing? I kinda feel like it. What should I do? This is gonna be awesome. Of course, the report will follow the incident for OOT viewing pleasure...

[/ QUOTE ]

Please make sure to also report on what it is like to be in jail on Thanksgiving.

Blarg

11-23-2005, 09:58 PM

Dominic

11-23-2005, 10:04 PM

please?

Blarg

11-23-2005, 10:21 PM

I think it's high time Supbro weighed in on this important matter.

11-24-2005, 03:29 AM

[ QUOTE ]
We get into the house and my mom asks me if I recognize the guy wearing some sort of hat. I say no. She says, yup, its him.

[/ QUOTE ]
This part strikes me as quite odd; perhaps the apple doesn't fall too far from the tree. Enjoy healing your ego.

dblgutshot

11-24-2005, 03:40 AM

Have you considered the possibility that this man is your real father? I think its highly likely.

Blarg

11-24-2005, 03:59 AM

LOL, these last two comments are starting us on a very funny/creepy roll...

ChipWrecked

11-24-2005, 04:17 AM

It takes a village to keep snotty preteens in line.

Blarg

11-24-2005, 04:23 AM

heheh, very nice!

Dominic

11-24-2005, 03:30 PM

update!

11-24-2005, 03:39 PM

Jihad we need you to fill up our few hours before we stuff ourselves and fall over on the couch.

orange

11-26-2005, 11:58 AM

bump..updates?

tolbiny

11-26-2005, 12:17 PM

Have sex with his wife and be done with it.

VeryTnA

11-26-2005, 12:42 PM

[ QUOTE ]
Have sex with his wife and be done with it.

[/ QUOTE ]

Why drag her into it.....Butt F**k him and be done with it.

But really...I think you should ask him if he is still beating up little kids.
If he pulls a gun you are in trouble. Otherwise have a good laugh and forget about it.

11-26-2005, 01:55 PM

http://www.lookatentertainment.com/v/v-923.htm
Jihad and his friends going against the old guy.

---> old guyhttp://img.photobucket.com/albums/v253/scorev1/300px-Arnold-flexing.jpg

---> Jihadhttp://img.photobucket.com/albums/v253/scorev1/satake20after20shilts20groin20kick2.jpg

11-26-2005, 02:01 PM

[ QUOTE ]
kick his ass seabass!

[/ QUOTE ]

JihadOnTheRiver

11-26-2005, 03:10 PM

I'm leaving Sac tomorrow and I probably won't bother telling the whole story until I get home to San Diego. I will tell you that I never had any real intention of taking a swing at the guy. I think he's a pretty big pansy for smacking around a little kid (especially one that he just met) and I really felt like it was within my man-rights to exact at least some form of revenge. I did, it did not involve physical assault, and it was probably better than anything I could have planned or dreamed. You will all enjoy. Cya soon.

PS. Alot of the responses absolutely sucked.