Which game to play against aliens?

[ilya]

Ok, here's the deal. One day aliens show up in Earth orbit and after flying around for a bit they summon the Earth's leaders to a conference. It turns out that these aliens love to play games for high stakes. So they make us an offer we can't refuse:

We must send a representative to play against them in a game of our choosing. The game can be of any sort, and it can be either an existing game or one created specifically for this challenge.

We have a year to decide on the game. At that point, we must provide the aliens with a complete & accurate set of rules. The aliens will then have one year to practice the game.

After that second year passes, the human and alien representatives play a best-of-100 match. If the humans score 61 or more wins, the aliens will tell us their scientific secrets & give us their technology. They will also pledge never to attack us & to help us fight against future threats.

If we score between 40 and 60 wins, the aliens will simply leave.

If we score 39 or fewer wins, the aliens will immediately annihilate us.


What game should we choose?

[tonypaladino]

Chess

[gorie]

let's just go with asteroids , you know, for fun.

[Brainwalter]

Tic Tac Toe.

[Lazymeatball]

Hockey - by the time the aliens have learned all the rules, we will change all the rules again. I doubt they could ever decipher an NHL collective bargaining agrrement.

[ilya]

[ QUOTE ]
Tic Tac Toe.

[/ QUOTE ]

Umm. This will ensure the annihilation of the human race.

[Lazymeatball]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Tic Tac Toe.

[/ QUOTE ]

Umm. This will ensure the annihilation of the human race.

[/ QUOTE ]

what if home team always gets to go first?

[diebitter]

all-chamber russian roulette.

Let's see the fargin icehole barstidges practice that one.

[Brainwalter]

Oh, I guess because of the wording, you might be right. I was assuming 100 ties would mean they just leave.

[dblgutshot]

Who can be quiet the longest.

Or maybe

Who is dumber?

[tonypaladino]

[ QUOTE ]
let's just go with asteroids , you know, for fun.

[/ QUOTE ]

or Space Invaders


http://img459.imageshack.us/img459/2797/anthology2023ub.jpg

You are defeated. Instead of shooting where I was you should have shot where I was going to be.

[ilya]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Tic Tac Toe.

[/ QUOTE ]

Umm. This will ensure the annihilation of the human race.

[/ QUOTE ]

what if home team always gets to go first?

[/ QUOTE ]

The future of humanity is at stake & all you can muster is this?!

[ilya]

[ QUOTE ]
Oh, I guess because of the wording, you might be right. I was assuming 100 ties would mean they just leave.

[/ QUOTE ]

Yes, 1 tie = 0 wins, not 0.5.

[fluxrad]

OMG! Counterstrik! We shud totally play them in a game of COUnterstrike! I would pwn those n00bs w/ my Logitech MX1000 plus yuo no that my GeFORCE 990000 would totally give me teh killer frame rates to pwn those [censored] aliesn and their gay ass XBOX skillz. HAHAH Of which they have none! Hahahahahahaahahah.....aliens totally play taht ghey ass Halo! Fags.

[swede123]

It would just have to depend on the characteristics of these aliens. If they were the really physically wimpy ones depicted in many movies something like arm wrestling would be pretty good.

If they were pretty slow at hand-eye coordination or whatever perhaps we should send a bunch of kids to play halo or some other computer game against them.

Swede

[MelchyBeau]

they should play the game of Go.

Melch

[TheMainEvent]

Magic: The Gathering.

But who will our representitive be?

[Lazymeatball]

I know,

we should race them to the crab nebula, or some place really far away.

[MelK]

No Limit the-game-that-shall-not-be-mentioned.

[buffett]

Sic Tiger on 'em. No way any alien can get beat him more than 40% of the time at a game invented by drunken Scots.

[Eurotrash]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
let's just go with asteroids , you know, for fun.

[/ QUOTE ]

or Space Invaders


http://img459.imageshack.us/img459/2797/anthology2023ub.jpg

You are defeated. Instead of shooting where I was you should have shot where I was going to be.

[/ QUOTE ]


Increase speed, drop down, reverse direction!

[MrPokerPants]

Since the very survival of the entire human race is at stake here, it would have to be game with a very small skill factor. We would have to assume that these aliens are way smarter than us, and possibly have skill sets that we don't (telepathy). We would just have to pick a game that negates all of said alien's advantages, and just hope we get lucky enough to survive. My vote is war.

[JonPKibble]

[ QUOTE ]
Magic: The Gathering.

But who will our representitive be?

[/ QUOTE ]

David Williams, of course.

[ QUOTE ]
David Williams, of course.

[/ QUOTE ]

Where's El D when you need him.

Obviously Paluka would be our rep.

[fnord_too]

On the one hand, I think games like go may be best, since we have spent so much time on developing strategies for them. However, if these guys are crazy advanced game players, they may be able to develop better strategies in a year. (Chess is a very bad choice, since such a high percentage of chess games end in a draw, and draws screw us as badly as losses).

So that leaves us with three options:
A game of pure luck (like war or showdown). I think that gives us a pretty decent chance of not getting anahilated, but probably not enough.

A game where first (or second) mover can always win, and alternate first move. They may just anahilate us for being weasels.

A game like pool where the breaker has a strong chance to not let the other guy even get a turn. Alternate breaks.

If the games are completely non physical, and draws screw us, we need games where there can be no draw. If the games have to have chances for both first and second movers, we are probably as screwed as they want us to be unless we pick a game without skill, in which case we just have to hope the ensuing random walk does not kill us.

[fnord_too]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
David Williams, of course.

[/ QUOTE ]

Where's El D when you need him.

Obviously Paluka would be our rep.

[/ QUOTE ]

Nah, they would call it the Grand Prix for earth and we would be hosed.

[TheMainEvent]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
David Williams, of course.

[/ QUOTE ]

Where's El D when you need him.

Obviously Paluka would be our rep.

[/ QUOTE ]

Nah, they would call it the Grand Prix for earth and we would be hosed.

[/ QUOTE ]

http://www.wizards.com/sideboard/images/gpdetr05/t8_berkowitz.jpg

[dblgutshot]

This offer is not too good to pass up. It will certainly be passed up.

[Brainwalter]

[ QUOTE ]
This offer is not too good to pass up. It will certainly be passed up.

[/ QUOTE ]

I think he means, "an offer we can't refuse", in the Vito Corleone sense.

[dblgutshot]

lol yeah.

Do we get to inteact with the aliens in the year while we are deciding our game? Like will they hang out with us?

Learning about them first would have a great advantage.

[GuyOnTilt]

It would depend completely on what we knew about the biology of the aliens.

GoT

[TheMainEvent]

wet t-shirt contest

[Etric]

Odds and evens. (p179 of Theory of some-game-people-play-but-not-here)

[TheMainEvent]

[ QUOTE ]
Odds and evens. (p179 of Theory of some-game-people-play-but-not-here)

[/ QUOTE ]

When I saw this thread I was actually hoping Sklansky would somehow see it and reply.

The answer to this is easy. Our goal is human survival so we create a game where you switch who goes first and has a very simple strategy where the person who goes first or second cannot stop the other from beating him based on the rules we created for the game. This would end in a 50/50 tie and they would leave.

[eviljeff]

Family Feud

[ QUOTE ]
lol yeah.

Do we get to inteact with the aliens in the year while we are deciding our game? Like will they hang out with us?

Learning about them first would have a great advantage.

[/ QUOTE ]

Yes, we can get them plastered on alcohol and LCD and learn all about them. Then we won't need their stinkin' technology.

BTW, shouldn't this post be in Game Theory, not OOT?

[gumpzilla]

[ QUOTE ]
It would depend completely on what we knew about the biology of the aliens.

[/ QUOTE ]

This was my first thought, but beyond that, there doesn't seem to be any specification that we can't make the game ludicrously stacked towards humans. So make it a beauty contest, as judged by humans, and our representatives will be Victoria's Secret models. We would own their faces off.

[gorie]

[ QUOTE ]
Family Feud

[/ QUOTE ]
i thought of this too. i'd like to see the little alien families know what SURVEY SAYS !

or trivial pursuit or jeopardy or something maybe.

omg i know, SCATAGORIES!

[ilya]

[ QUOTE ]
The answer to this is easy. Our goal is human survival so we create a game where you switch who goes first and has a very simple strategy where the person who goes first or second cannot stop the other from beating him based on the rules we created for the game. This would end in a 50/50 tie and they would leave.

[/ QUOTE ]

Ok, what about these sets of alternate conditions:

1. 61+: knowledge
30-60: leave us alone
29-: annihilation

2. 51+: leave us alone
50-: annihilation

?

[pooh74]

Global Thermonuclear War


Joshua: Greetings, Professor Falken.
Stephen Falken: Hello, Joshua.
Joshua: A strange game. The only winning move is not to play. How about a nice game of chess?

[imported_CaseClosed326]

Flippy cup

[The once and future king]

Cricket.

No way they will understand the game within a year.

[NutzyClutz]

Rotisserie baseball.

We would score 100 wins.

Do you see why?

[gavrilo]

This question is kind of bunk without knowing anything about the aliens. Assume they can learn in one year to play a game flawlessly, even a physical game, this is a horrible option for us, we should pick a game that has no skill and just hope math doesn't [censored] us short term.

If they aren't super aliens and can assume that they will only get so good in one year of practice, we should pick something that has a high level of skill and I think that should be golf.

[Yeti]

http://img368.imageshack.us/img368/3546/sodart217qr.jpg

[-Skeme-]

http://hiperactivo.com/escritos/videojuegos/supermonkey/pong.gif

[Eurotrash]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
David Williams, of course.

[/ QUOTE ]

Where's El D when you need him.

Obviously Paluka would be our rep.

[/ QUOTE ]

Nah, they would call it the Grand Prix for earth and we would be hosed.

[/ QUOTE ]

http://www.wizards.com/sideboard/images/gpdetr05/t8_berkowitz.jpg

[/ QUOTE ]


http://img483.imageshack.us/img483/9418/nerds7ce.jpg

Berkowitz is a tool.

[dizong]

- pro wrestling (with a human ref)

- tetris assuming this guy in the video is on our side
link (http://www.ebaumsworld.com/tetrismaster.html)

- any sport with a subjective scoring system (e.g., figure skating, xgames, synchronized swimming) and judged by a human panel who is concerned about the welfare of the human race

- bass fishing competition? (dunno anything about the sport)

basically, i think our best chance would be to flip a coin and call "heads or tails" 100 times. make our demise quick...

dizong

[Punker]

Connect four. The game has been solved as a win for the first player. Im willing to give up the chance to get their technology to avoid the chance of annihilation.

[ilya]

You guys are all so weak-tight! Survival, schmurvival...How do you expect to ever win the intergalactic championship when you're this terrified of gambling it up?!

[Senor Cardgage]

A thrilling bout of "Whichever One Of Us Is a Human Wins".

[diebitter]

[ QUOTE ]
A thrilling bout of "Whichever One Of Us Is a Human Wins".

[/ QUOTE ]

I hate that game. I always lose /images/graemlins/frown.gif

[The once and future king]

I have thought about this a great deal.

To utterly gaurentee the survival of the Human Race there is only one game possible.

Spunk on the biscuit.

[Clarkmeister]

[ QUOTE ]
Family Feud

[/ QUOTE ]

This is a really, really great answer.

[Hamish McBagpipe]

Jesus, wut n00bs. This is, of course, taken from an early edition of the "Illustrated Adult Fantasy Magazine" (AKA wank fest for 14 year olds) Heavy Metal.

The issue in question had the aliens land and give the earth 100 years to come up with the best combatant to fight the alien's best fighter in hand-to-hand. If the human lost then earth would be destroyed. So, with 100 years to experiment, the earth bred the best superathlete fighter possible.

The kicker was that when the 100 years was up and the superman was standing, prepared, and ready for the alien ship to land the goddamn alien ship squashed him by accident while docking.

[JaBlue]

I call the game "you win if you're human"

rule 1: if you are human you win

[Senor Cardgage]

[ QUOTE ]
I call the game "you win if you're human"

rule 1: if you are human you win

[/ QUOTE ]

The best part: its originality!

[Ulysses]

tic tac toe seems like the only reasonable answer so far.

[Clarkmeister]

[ QUOTE ]
tic tac toe seems like the only reasonable answer so far.

[/ QUOTE ]

You didn't read it all yet as ties are not .5 of a win. You'll get to the correct "best answer so far" in a little bit.

[jstnrgrs]

How about coin tossing.

[jstnrgrs]

[ QUOTE ]
Cricket.

No way they will understand the game within a year.

[/ QUOTE ]

Literal LOL

[Blarg]

Without Don King's intervention, we haven't a chance.

[NutzyClutz]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
tic tac toe seems like the only reasonable answer so far.

[/ QUOTE ]

You didn't read it all yet as ties are not .5 of a win. You'll get to the correct "best answer so far" in a little bit.

[/ QUOTE ]


I liked my answer of rotisserie baseball, but that would take 100 years of players colluding.

I change my answer to jai lai handicapping. We would only need 100 games. (plus the players collude now anyway)

[Clarkmeister]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
tic tac toe seems like the only reasonable answer so far.

[/ QUOTE ]

You didn't read it all yet as ties are not .5 of a win. You'll get to the correct "best answer so far" in a little bit.

[/ QUOTE ]


I liked my answer of rotisserie baseball, but that would take 100 years of players colluding.

I change my answer to jai lai handicapping. We would only need 100 games. (plus the players collude now anyway)

[/ QUOTE ]

Your answers are good to ensure our survival. But I think Family Feud gives us a huge chance to get all their knowledge as well.

[ilya]

that maximizing our chances of surviving this game may not be the way to optimize our longer-term chances of survival, given the implications of the aliens' existence & presence.

[vulturesrow]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
David Williams, of course.

[/ QUOTE ]

Where's El D when you need him.

Obviously Paluka would be our rep.

[/ QUOTE ]

Nah, they would call it the Grand Prix for earth and we would be hosed.

[/ QUOTE ]

Oooo, burn. /images/graemlins/ooo.gif

[wacki]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Tic Tac Toe.

[/ QUOTE ]

Umm. This will ensure the annihilation of the human race.

[/ QUOTE ]

No, it won't.

http://www.lasvegassun.com/sunbin/stories/gaming/2002/jun/10/513560049.html

Engaging in a game that requires brainpower vs. a superior race will ensure our annihilation. Anyone that picked chess is stupid.

Come to think of it. I'm stupid for posting in this thread.

[Clarkmeister]

Remember, ties count as 0 wins, not .5 wins.

[ilya]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Tic Tac Toe.

[/ QUOTE ]

Umm. This will ensure the annihilation of the human race.

[/ QUOTE ]

No, it won't.

http://www.lasvegassun.com/sunbin/stories/gaming/2002/jun/10/513560049.html

Engaging in a game that requires brainpower vs. a superior race will ensure our annihilation. Anyone that picked chess is stupid.

Come to think of it. I'm stupid for posting in this thread.

[/ QUOTE ]

I'm not sure why so many people seem to think "wins" is synonymous with "points" or some other concept which credits ties as well as, well...wins.

[Ulysses]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
tic tac toe seems like the only reasonable answer so far.

[/ QUOTE ]

You didn't read it all yet as ties are not .5 of a win. You'll get to the correct "best answer so far" in a little bit.

[/ QUOTE ]

Phew, thanks, just skimmed the post.

OK, Family Feud it is.

Hmmmm... Maybe Pictionary.

[TheMainEvent]

[ QUOTE ]

OK, Family Feud it is.


[/ QUOTE ]

If it was a fair game wouldn't half the survey responders have to be aliens too?

[gumpzilla]

[ QUOTE ]

OK, Family Feud it is.

[/ QUOTE ]

I don't see how this is really much more reasonable than the "being human" game. It's pretty similarly biased, and there's still some conceivable chance of losing.

[wacki]

[ QUOTE ]


Phew, thanks, just skimmed the post.

OK, Family Feud it is.

Hmmmm... Maybe Pictionary.

[/ QUOTE ]

Against a superior race, with superior mental power, both are losers. You need a game of chance where we will win 40-60% of the time.

[tonypaladino]

Fsmily Feud seems like a good idea, but the Aliens will have a whole year to study Human culture.

In addition, we are reasonably sure that no alien life exists within 1/2 light year of earth, so for the aliens to leave and return within a year they have mastered the technology to travel faster than light speed somehow.

We have no idea what mental abilites they could have, including the ability to possible read our minds. the correct answer would be, as a few other suggestions a game where the first to act is guaranteed a win and turns are taken to start. This will result in a 50/50 score.

[wacki]

[ QUOTE ]
Remember, ties count as 0 wins, not .5 wins.

[/ QUOTE ]

Fine, how about the card game "war".

That's all chance right?

[gumpzilla]

[ QUOTE ]
Fsmily Feud seems like a good idea, but the Aliens will have a whole year to study Human culture.

[/ QUOTE ]

But presumably we'll also have that year to study the aliens. Suppose they all weighed 26 pounds and could only move 3 miles an hour. We'd slaughter them at football.

[Ulysses]

Press Your Luck?

[NutzyClutz]

WE could play hide and seek with a eon time limit, we let the aliens hide, and we never go out to seek them.

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Fsmily Feud seems like a good idea, but the Aliens will have a whole year to study Human culture.

[/ QUOTE ]

But presumably we'll also have that year to study the aliens. Suppose they all weighed 26 pounds and could only move 3 miles an hour. We'd slaughter them at football.

[/ QUOTE ]
Yeah but football you can't really play with one person, which the OP said it was. It would have to be basketball if they are small like you said.

[wacki]

[ QUOTE ]
It would have to be basketball if they are small like you said.

[/ QUOTE ]

Or sumo wrestling. We just have to hope the have mastered interstellar travel but not the art of gene therapy and cloning. I guess you could make it part of the rules that gene therapy isn't allowed but how would we tell if they are cheating.

/images/graemlins/tongue.gif

[fluorescenthippo]

gosh i really hope this happens

[dblgutshot]

[ QUOTE ]
game of our choosing. The game can be of any sort, and it can be either an existing game or one created specifically for this challenge.

[/ QUOTE ]

So is blackjack, with us being the dealer allowed? From the rules I don't see why not. The correct answer would be simply to invent some game where we are the 'dealer' and build-in the highest house advantage. Not 'fair' but its not against the rules.

[TheMainEvent]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
It would have to be basketball if they are small like you said.

[/ QUOTE ]

Or sumo wrestling. We just have to hope the have mastered interstellar travel but not the art of gene therapy and cloning. I guess you could make it part of the rules that gene therapy isn't allowed but how would we tell if they are cheating.

/images/graemlins/tongue.gif

[/ QUOTE ]

Remember, the aliens can wipe us out at any point...I don't think they would have made this offer to begin with if they didn't want a fair fight.

[fluorescenthippo]

[ QUOTE ]
Chess

[/ QUOTE ]

this would probably be our best bet. but that would depend on how much smarter than us they are. if they were geniuses we should probably pick a game more based on luck

[mmbt0ne]

100 episodes of elimadate. 25 female aliens, 25 male aliens, 25 female humans, and 25 male humans. Each gets paired up with 4 contestants, 2 human and 2 alien, all of the opposite sex. Every time a member of your race is the last player standing, you get a point.

[gumpzilla]

But if the aliens have three [censored], we're totally hosed.

EDIT: Breasts, that is. It didn't occur to me that [censored] would be censored. [censored].

how does elimidate work

[mmbt0ne]

[ QUOTE ]
But if the aliens have three [censored], we're totally hosed.

EDIT: Breasts, that is. It didn't occur to me that [censored] would be censored. [censored].

[/ QUOTE ]

I was envisioning more

http://uloc.nerdtank.org/screenshots/7/7f04_21_4_aliens_off_beim_wiegen.jpg

than

http://www.the-reel-mccoy.com/movies/2002/images/MIBII_2.jpg

[mmbt0ne]

[ QUOTE ]
how does elimidate work

[/ QUOTE ]

4 people get drunk and act really slutty trying to win the 5th person, who is dismissing one or more contestents at certain parts of the date.

right on

[wacki]

[ QUOTE ]
100 episodes of elimadate. 25 female aliens, 25 male aliens, 25 female humans, and 25 male humans. Each gets paired up with 4 contestants, 2 human and 2 alien, all of the opposite sex. Every time a member of your race is the last player standing, you get a point.

[/ QUOTE ]

This is the perfect answer IMO.

Damn... turning of OOT. wasting time...

[cdxx]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Magic: The Gathering.

But who will our representitive be?

[/ QUOTE ]

David Williams, of course.

[/ QUOTE ]

why not p*ker? let them practice it for a year in vegas, with fully comped rooms, booze, and strippers. i bet the 100 game match would never take place. if it does, 100 HU matches would make great TV.

[CheckRaise]

Beer pong gets my vote.

[ QUOTE ]
why not p*ker? let them practice it for a year in vegas, with fully comped rooms, booze, and strippers. i bet the 100 game match would never take place. if it does, 100 HU matches would make great TV.

[/ QUOTE ]

ESP, laser / lasor (?) vision.

[dblgutshot]

WTF is laser vision?

WTF is lasor vision?

WhoTF is uncertain about the spelling of laser?

[tonypaladino]

[ QUOTE ]
WTF is laser vision?

WTF is lasor vision?

WhoTF is uncertain about the spelling of laser?

[/ QUOTE ]

Calm Down.

Roshambo. Pretty much guarenteed survival.

[bholdr]

[ QUOTE ]
wet t-shirt contest

[/ QUOTE ]

sounds good: we put up jessica alba, natilie portma, etc... if they win, we die happy.

[Eurotrash]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
wet t-shirt contest

[/ QUOTE ]

sounds good: we put up jessica alba, natilie portma, etc... if they win, we die happy.

[/ QUOTE ]



or, instead of Natalie Portman, we could choose somebody that actually has [censored]


edit: wtf ti.ts is censored? gay

[handsome]

Ping pong.

[M2d]

Who's More Grizzled

[young nut]

American/Interstellar Idol.....because the alien outtakes would be hilarious.

[w_alloy]

There are four options, all of which have been covered to a certain extent in this thread. This analysis is very good, so if you are concerned with the survival of the human race, you need to read this.

1. Biased games
a) Games where humans are at a direct advantage in the rules, like the "who is the human game". These would probably get us all killed at the moment of rules presentation, unless we made some contract with them as stated by the OP in this thread and they left this loophole.
b) Games where humans are at an advantage because they require frivolous human knowledge and/or emotional discerning, such as the Family Feud. I think that frankly we would lose the first types of games unless something really ingenious was come up with (I think we would have a high chance of losing family feud, because aliens could study word usage patterns and frequencies, as well as lots of other things, and probably play better then humans). Any game with a subjective judge also falls under this catagory, but judgining would have to be extremely clear cut or these game would be probably be rejected like 1(a).
c) Games where humans are at an advantage becuase of our physiology, such as a video game where the interface directly catered to human hands in a complex way, or a twister like game. These would probably get us annihilated on the spot, but not as likely as 1(a). This would only be viable if, as stated in 1(a), there was a contract and this was a loophole.

2. Mental skill games
a) Games that could be solved perfectly with all our resources within a year. I am including games like connect four, tik-tac-toe, trivia games, and a bunch of simpler and more complicated fixed-move games. I am not including games that can be solved but we are not close to, such as chess, lots of RTS videogames, and poker. The most appealing of the games in this catagory would be a game where the person who moves 1st always wins. This would preferably be an extremely complex game created and solved by computers, but still simple enough that a human could memorize all the moves in 8 moths (or whatever time is left after the game is created). This would make defeat impossible in the first scenario (the 0-39, 40-60, 60+ one), but it is relatively unlikely that the aliens could not also solve such a game, so this is possible but probably undesireable in the second scenario (0-50, 51+).
b) Unsolvable (to us) skill games. I think almost all pure skill games are a poor choice, as the aliens probably are vastly superior regarding intelects and can solve games like checkers, which we currently cant. There could be arguements made that poker (through an interface to eliminate reads) or chess (with a rules change to break ties, through another match for example) would be good picks. They are extremely complex and would be nearly impossible to solve all the way. We have many years of practice and theory in the way of a headstart. In the first scenario they are out of the question unless we have good evidence the aliens arent as smart as us. It is up to debate if these are a good scenario 2 pick. Dont underestimate how amazingly good someone like Kasparov is, and even if they could get a computer to beat him which is very likely, it could be hard for one of them to emulate a computer.

3. Games of pure luck
These should never be used in scenario 1 with the option of solvable rotating turn games. They will be the best option for scenario 2 unless we can come up with something that we can win slightly less then half the time or more, as stated above. I think this is the better option against complete unknowns.

4. Physical games
These probably arent a good idea unles they also fall under catagory 1c.

In summary, the option set forth in 2a would be best as default in scenario 1, and a pure luck game would probably be best as default in scenario 2, although if there were a set agreement with loopholes something from 1x could be best, and if the aliens appeared of simliar or only slightly above our intellects something from 2b would be best.

[The once and future king]

Tag team who can count the highest.

This will at least stall them.

However the correct answer has allready been given (by me). Spunk on the biscuit.

Given that officials from the newly formed ManFat Federation or MFF as you or I know it will be present to test that the baby gravy contains human DNA and no advatage has been gained by gentecticaly enginering streamlined aero dynamic tadpoles (that can mean all the differance in close matches.)What chance do the Aliens have?

[diebitter]

Reverse Roshambo.

First one to fall over after being kicked in the nuts wins. We just take a dive. Even if alien takes a dive too, it'll still be 50/50


I claim pwnage of the alien invaders!

[Jman28]

This really is impossible to answer without knowing anything about the aliens. They most likely will be more technologically advanced than us since they found us first and have the ability to annihilate us. But I have no idea how fast they run, strong they are, or the extent of their technology and intellect.

If we're just supposed to use our common conception of aliens, then let's arm wrestle those bitches.

The answer is quite easy and I cannot believe it has been overlooked thus far: Battleship, Twister, or Clue. It worked for Bill & Ted against the Grim Reaper

http://tommcmahon.typepad.com/photos/uncategorized/billandted2.jpg

[Yeti]

NBA Live 95. They could not live with me.

[Justin A]

[ QUOTE ]

4. Physical games
These probably arent a good idea unles they also fall under catagory 1c.

[/ QUOTE ]

I think a physical skill game that takes years of practice to get really good at would be perfect. Pool seems like the best choice so far.

[The_Bends]

I'd say Snooker. Same rational as pool but the chance of a lessor player beaten a better player in any given frame is far less than in pool.

Obiously this could be both a good and bad thing.

[diebitter]

Oh, come on guys. Any game you can definitely force a 50/50 for sure is the way to go. Be rational.

Don't gamble with the human race.
Reverse Roshambo is the answer!

I already proposed a 50/50 option, but the OP changed the rules to 51+ to survive on me.

[diebitter]

[ QUOTE ]
I already proposed a 50/50 option, but the OP changed the rules to 51+ to survive on me.

[/ QUOTE ]

Now that's just getting silly.

[Bulldog]

No brainer. Pick any game where whomever goes first wins, get 50 wins, and wave goodbye. How did this get so many replies?

[elwoodblues]

[ QUOTE ]
Pick any game where whomever goes first wins, get 50 wins, and wave goodbye. How did this get so many replies?

[/ QUOTE ]

Yep. And how people chose chess (a game that is solvable, that we haven't solved) is beyond me.

That being said --- I will play anyone (aliens included) in a game of "What number is elwood thinking of?" Simple rules --- and I have a slight advantage.

By the way, the answer is 4.7.

[arod15]

Mike Tyson PO .... No chance they beat us....

[icepick]

[ QUOTE ]
they should play the game of Go.

[/ QUOTE ]

Good answer. No way that aliens can learn in a year what we've learned in 3000+.

Where's Lee Chang Ho when the Earth needs him?

[ QUOTE ]
That being said --- I will play anyone (aliens included) in a game of "What number is elwood thinking of?" Simple rules --- and I have a slight advantage.

By the way, the answer is 4.7.


[/ QUOTE ]

Oh great, now if this ever happens the aliens could Google us (I assume being masters of inter-stellar travel they would have a kick-ass enhanced Google algorithm extension for firefox), find out the answer in this thread and we'd be doomed. Nice going! Keep your answers to yourself!

[icepick]

[ QUOTE ]
That being said --- I will play anyone (aliens included) in a game of "What number is elwood thinking of?" Simple rules --- and I have a slight advantage.

By the way, the answer is 4.7.

[/ QUOTE ]

What if the aliens are telepathic mind readers? Still want to play that game?

[ilya]

Nick Bostrom's (http://www.nickbostrom.com/) answer:

"One that takes as long a time to play as possible."

[WDC]

Who's the Earthling

[TheMainEvent]

[ QUOTE ]
Nick Bostrom's (http://www.nickbostrom.com/) answer:

"One that takes as long a time to play as possible."

[/ QUOTE ]

How about "First one to the edge of the universe wins"?

I'd only do that one if we knew it wouldn't backfire

[samjjones]

The answer is obvious.


http://img247.imageshack.us/img247/3483/plinko6sl.jpg

[zephed]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Tic Tac Toe.

[/ QUOTE ]

Umm. This will ensure the annihilation of the human race.

[/ QUOTE ]

No, it won't.

http://www.lasvegassun.com/sunbin/stories/gaming/2002/jun/10/513560049.html

Engaging in a game that requires brainpower vs. a superior race will ensure our annihilation. Anyone that picked chess is stupid.

Come to think of it. I'm stupid for posting in this thread.

[/ QUOTE ]
Ok, since we already determined that every game of tic tac toe can be tied and ties don't count as half wins, then the correct answer is The Price Is Right since that requires no brainpower.

[elwoodblues]

[ QUOTE ]
What if the aliens are telepathic mind readers? Still want to play that game?

[/ QUOTE ]

Yes. If they read my mind, we tie.

[pokerdirty]

Halo 2.

We don't tell them about network play, and they only do LAN parties. After the year comes, we play them on XBL, and mod the [censored] out of them.

3 ideal choices--

1. Hopscotch

2. Dodge Ball

3. Red Rover

[elwoodblues]

We could always play "Knifey Spooney"

http://www.romshand.com/pix/6582.jpg

[Duke]

[ QUOTE ]
The answer is quite easy and I cannot believe it has been overlooked thus far: Battleship, Twister, or Clue. It worked for Bill & Ted against the Grim Reaper

http://tommcmahon.typepad.com/photos/uncategorized/billandted2.jpg

[/ QUOTE ]

You have sunk my battle ship.

~D

[Duke]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]

4. Physical games
These probably arent a good idea unles they also fall under catagory 1c.

[/ QUOTE ]

I think a physical skill game that takes years of practice to get really good at would be perfect. Pool seems like the best choice so far.

[/ QUOTE ]

Golf, but you have to tee off with a glass Dr. Pepper bottle.

~D

[jstnrgrs]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Fsmily Feud seems like a good idea, but the Aliens will have a whole year to study Human culture.

[/ QUOTE ]

But presumably we'll also have that year to study the aliens. Suppose they all weighed 26 pounds and could only move 3 miles an hour. We'd slaughter them at football.

[/ QUOTE ]
Yeah but football you can't really play with one person, which the OP said it was. It would have to be basketball if they are small like you said.

[/ QUOTE ]

This is a bad idea. Haven't you even seen space jam? I wouldn't want to take the chance.

[benza13]

[ QUOTE ]
Press Your Luck?

[/ QUOTE ]

Considering a human figured out how to beat this game at one point, I dont think going up against aliens in it would be a good idea.

Plus, would you really want to whammy all of humanity away in the last game.

[Brainwalter]

How about Smear the Queer?

[samjjones]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Press Your Luck?

[/ QUOTE ]

Considering a human figured out how to beat this game at one point, I dont think going up against aliens in it would be a good idea.

Plus, would you really want to whammy all of humanity away in the last game.

[/ QUOTE ]


http://img487.imageshack.us/img487/741/whammy7jm.jpg

[Landon_McFly]

Goldeneye for N64.

I'll even be the rep for the human race. As long as we're in the complex, with remote mines, and I'm Oddjob...

No one in the universe stands a chance against me /images/graemlins/cool.gif

[astroglide]

will you stfu about goldeneye/remote mines?

[scott8]

If we could get the Berkowitz family from the family feud hall of fame it would be no contest.

Things found in the Fridge?

"Milk" Bam! #1 Answer

Things that are dangerous around the holidays?

"Fireworks" Bam! #1 Answer

Seriously. They were good.

[Bulldog]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
What if the aliens are telepathic mind readers? Still want to play that game?

[/ QUOTE ]

Yes. If they read my mind, we tie.

[/ QUOTE ]

For about the 837th time in this thread, ties don't help us, as we need to get to a certain number of WINS.