Guy beating up his girlfriend on the street

[tonypaladino]

About an hour ago (130 AM) I went outside to get some air and smoke a cigarette. There was a dude down the block with his girlfriend and they were arguing and yelling.

Then the dude yells "bitch, bite your tounge" and she says "f-ck you" and he grabs her by the arm and slams her into the metal gate of the hardware store they're standing in front of.

I am the only other person on the street, and I consider getting involved. The guy was obviously very irate and could have been intoxicated. I really wanted to go help her, but with the way things are today the guy could have had a weapon and there is always the possibility he has friends in car or neerby somewhere.

So, I go around the corner and call 911. the cops come literally 30 seconds later (I guess there was a car heading in our direction at the time) and the cops broke up the fight. I didn't stick around to see if the guy got arrested or anything.

What do you think, should I have tried to intervene?

The guy was slapping her and pushing her, but nothing that she was in danger of being killed, but if I called the police and while waiting for them the situation really got life-threatening for the girl, then should I have stepped in?

[istewart]

Crimson Challenge, winner gets to beat the bitch?

[Sponger15SB]

You did fine.

I would consider yelling something at him to get him to stop, but I wouldn't physically mess with someone crazy enough to attack his girlfriend on the street. He could easily have a weapon and want to use it on you for trying to stop him.

[rusty JEDI]

In Canada this is so easy. You get involved.

However, in the US you have retards like this guy. (http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/showflat.php?Cat=0&Number=3934160&an=0&page=0&gone w=1#UNREAD)

rJ

[ilya]

[ QUOTE ]

The guy was slapping her and pushing her, but nothing that she was in danger of being killed, but if I called the police and while waiting for them the situation really got life-threatening for the girl, then should I have stepped in?

[/ QUOTE ]

IMO this is a very clear yes.

[Malachii]

Calling the cops was the correct response. You responded well.

[diebitter]

Here in the UK, I'd intervene. But I'd be real careful.

In the US, with the handguns and stuff, I'd do exactly what you'd do.

So fine play there.

[Go_Blue88]

Yes intervene. I'd fight that guy in a second. It makes me angry just thinking about someone doing that.

[shant]

Dude, I've seen video of you. You should've yelled something at him in an NJ-style Italian accent and shook your fist in that direction. Something like when Artie yells in Italian on the Stern show. "DISCGRACIA!!!" Something like that. Probably would've scared him good.

[SackUp]

It is unfortunate to say that your really need to be careful. There are just too many unknowns. In certain situations I might intervene, but for the most part I think your play was exactly what you needed to do. Only other thing I might have done, as was mentioned above, would be to yell something.

[SCfuji]

if you saw him pummeling her and stomping on her face while she was on the ground, id intervene. you made the right move keeping a clear head and calling the cops when the fight had not developed to the point of bloodshed. you never know who they are or why they are fighting. when you intervene the girl may look at you like "wtf are you doing - this is none of your business" and they may both attack you or some dirty [censored] like that. let the police handle their business.

[Brom]

Too bad you didn't have your gun.

[tonypaladino]

I was feeling bad for not getting directly involved. I'm glad many of you would've reacted the same.

[Overdrive]

You did the correct thing by calling the police and just ducking out.

Never, ever, never, get personally involved if you see a man arguing or even hitting a girl he is with. Chances are very, very, good that she will get back with him and be having sex with him again within an hour.

[shant]

This scenario reminds me of that Brother Ali track. He gets involved in a domestic dispute, fights the guy, and ends up getting arrested when the cops show up. I think you handled it well.

[BCPVP]

You did fine. The only extra step has been mentioned which would be to yell out at him, probably something like "knock it off, I'm calling the cops". He's drunk and beating up his girl, so he's obviously not thinking clearly so you're in big trouble if he's got a weapon/friends.

[rusellmj]

[ QUOTE ]
However, in the US you have retards like this guy. (http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/showflat.php?Cat=0&Number=3934160&an=0&page=0&gone w=1#UNREAD)

rJ

[/ QUOTE ]

Please explain how my choosing to protect my daughter makes me a retard.

Edit: I would've called 911 too, good job.

[BluffTHIS!]

I own firearms and so wouldn't get involved in anything without them. If he were beating a little old lady to steal her purse I would be more likely to do something. But in this case I would just call the police like you did because the usual situation is this isn't the first violent incident between them and she is one of those pathetic women who stay in abusive relationships until she gets killed or seriously injured. And because of that she could well be ungrateful and turn on you too.

[BCPVP]

It's to the thread, not you. (I think; it was a different post the first time I checked)

I think you did the right thing. I've had to call the cops a few times for actual violent crimes, and they've always come really fast, so getting involved yourself is usually unneccessary.

You shoulda beat his ass. Then you would have scored.

[tonypaladino]

[ QUOTE ]
I own firearms and so wouldn't get involved in anything without them. If he were beating a little old lady to steal her purse I would be more likely to do something. But in this case I would just call the police like you did because the usual situation is this isn't the first violent incident between them and she is one of those pathetic women who stay in abusive relationships until she gets killed or seriously injured. And because of that she could well be ungrateful and turn on you too.

[/ QUOTE ]

I'm gonna be applying for a handgun permit soon. Then these decisions will be easier.

[cpitt398]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I own firearms and so wouldn't get involved in anything without them. If he were beating a little old lady to steal her purse I would be more likely to do something. But in this case I would just call the police like you did because the usual situation is this isn't the first violent incident between them and she is one of those pathetic women who stay in abusive relationships until she gets killed or seriously injured. And because of that she could well be ungrateful and turn on you too.

[/ QUOTE ]

I'm gonna be applying for a handgun permit soon. Then these decisions will be easier.

[/ QUOTE ]

Then what do you do? Yell for him to stop and pull out your gun, then he pulls out his and one of you gets shot? Your more likely to get shot with a gun than without.

BTW I think you handled this fine. Its really a sticky situation though, your only other option was yelling.

[sublime]

did you ever stop and ask yourself

"maybe she should just do what shes told?"

[einbert]

[ QUOTE ]
I'm gonna be applying for a handgun permit soon. Then these decisions will be easier.

[/ QUOTE ]

Wow. I had a ton of respect for you up until this post.

[tonypaladino]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I own firearms and so wouldn't get involved in anything without them. If he were beating a little old lady to steal her purse I would be more likely to do something. But in this case I would just call the police like you did because the usual situation is this isn't the first violent incident between them and she is one of those pathetic women who stay in abusive relationships until she gets killed or seriously injured. And because of that she could well be ungrateful and turn on you too.

[/ QUOTE ]

I'm gonna be applying for a handgun permit soon. Then these decisions will be easier.

[/ QUOTE ]

Then what do you do? Yell for him to stop and pull out your gun, then he pulls out his and one of you gets shot? Your more likely to get shot with a gun than without.

BTW I think you handled this fine. Its really a sticky situation though, your only other option was yelling.

[/ QUOTE ]

I wasn't being serious. I am gonna apply for a permit, but I was joking about the decision being easier. I wouldn't want to pull out a gun in a situation like that. The gun will be for my home only.

[tonypaladino]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I'm gonna be applying for a handgun permit soon. Then these decisions will be easier.

[/ QUOTE ]

Wow. I had a ton of respect for you up until this post.

[/ QUOTE ]

Thanks. I'm glad the desire to protect myself make me less respectable.

[sublime]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I'm gonna be applying for a handgun permit soon. Then these decisions will be easier.

[/ QUOTE ]

Wow. I had a ton of respect for you up until this post.

[/ QUOTE ]

Thanks. I'm glad the desire to protect myself make me less respectable.

[/ QUOTE ]

where do you live, compton?

[tonypaladino]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I'm gonna be applying for a handgun permit soon. Then these decisions will be easier.

[/ QUOTE ]

Wow. I had a ton of respect for you up until this post.

[/ QUOTE ]

Thanks. I'm glad the desire to protect myself make me less respectable.

[/ QUOTE ]

where do you live, compton?

[/ QUOTE ]

Brooklyn

[sublime]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I'm gonna be applying for a handgun permit soon. Then these decisions will be easier.

[/ QUOTE ]

Wow. I had a ton of respect for you up until this post.

[/ QUOTE ]

Thanks. I'm glad the desire to protect myself make me less respectable.

[/ QUOTE ]

where do you live, compton?

[/ QUOTE ]

Brooklyn

[/ QUOTE ]

fair enough.

[einbert]

[ QUOTE ]

Thanks. I'm glad the desire to protect myself make me less respectable.

[/ QUOTE ]
Well I apparently misunderstood your post. For some reason I read it as "well I'm gonna get a gun so I can go around and solve these problems myself instead of having to call the cops!" like you were going to become some kind of crimefighter or something.

But even you said you were joking, so I can't see how you can fault me for responding with disgust to your original statement. Of course I didn't know it was a joke when I first read it.


In any case, I think you handled the situation on the street really well. Even if you were carrying a gun, do you really think it would have been a great idea to wave it around and tell the guy to stop? Sure, most of the time that will resolve the situation immediately. But what about the times he pulls out his own gun, or does something else unpredictable? A decent percentage of the time (even if it's as low as 5% it's still so important) someone is going to get seriously hurt in this kind of situation. I guess you could say you took a bullet for the girl, but as others have suggested chances are that she has been beaten by this guy before and she is subjecting herself to this kind of repeat abuse.

I can see situations where it would be helpful to own a gun. But in my opinion, carrying a gun will bring up far more negative situations than it will turn bad situations into good situations. And using a gun to become a crimefighter, IE breaking up this and other similar situations by waving your gun around, is bound to result in really really bad things sooner rather than later. I think it would have been pretty stupid to brandish your gun in this situation, all things considered.

[tonypaladino]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]

Thanks. I'm glad the desire to protect myself make me less respectable.

[/ QUOTE ]
Well I apparently misunderstood your post. For some reason I read it as "well I'm gonna get a gun so I can go around and solve these problems myself instead of having to call the cops!" like you were going to become some kind of crimefighter or something.

But even you said you were joking, so I can't see how you can fault me for responding with disgust to your original statement. Of course I didn't know it was a joke when I first read it.


In any case, I think you handled the situation on the street really well. Even if you were carrying a gun, do you really think it would have been a great idea to wave it around and tell the guy to stop? Sure, most of the time that will resolve the situation immediately. But what about the times he pulls out his own gun, or does something else unpredictable? A decent percentage of the time (even if it's as low as 5% it's still so important) someone is going to get seriously hurt in this kind of situation. I guess you could say you took a bullet for the girl, but as others have suggested chances are that she has been beaten by this guy before and she is subjecting herself to this kind of repeat abuse.

I can see situations where it would be helpful to own a gun. But in my opinion, carrying a gun will bring up far more negative situations than it will turn bad situations into good situations. And using a gun to become a crimefighter, IE breaking up this and other similar situations by waving your gun around, is bound to result in really really bad things sooner rather than later. I think it would have been pretty stupid to brandish your gun in this situation, all things considered.

[/ QUOTE ]

I agree, it would be an improper situation to bring out a gun. I took your post as saying you lost respect because of gun ownership in general.

[2+2 wannabe]

[ QUOTE ]
In Canada this is so easy. You get involved.

In most of the US [censored] no.

[/ QUOTE ]

[El Barto]

The girlfriend may not have appreciated your calling the cops. She chooses to be his girlfriend afterall, and now he will be pissed at having the cops called, and he will blame her for that happening.

If she wants you to call the cops, then fine, but she wasn't in serious danger from what you describe, and she may not appreciate your meddling. What do you know about what their relationship is?

[fnord_too]

I think you intervened in the best way possible there.

[jaydub]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]

Thanks. I'm glad the desire to protect myself make me less respectable.

[/ QUOTE ]
Well I apparently misunderstood your post. For some reason I read it as "well I'm gonna get a gun so I can go around and solve these problems myself instead of having to call the cops!" like you were going to become some kind of crimefighter or something.

But even you said you were joking, so I can't see how you can fault me for responding with disgust to your original statement. Of course I didn't know it was a joke when I first read it.


In any case, I think you handled the situation on the street really well. Even if you were carrying a gun, do you really think it would have been a great idea to wave it around and tell the guy to stop? Sure, most of the time that will resolve the situation immediately. But what about the times he pulls out his own gun, or does something else unpredictable? A decent percentage of the time (even if it's as low as 5% it's still so important) someone is going to get seriously hurt in this kind of situation. I guess you could say you took a bullet for the girl, but as others have suggested chances are that she has been beaten by this guy before and she is subjecting herself to this kind of repeat abuse.

I can see situations where it would be helpful to own a gun. But in my opinion, carrying a gun will bring up far more negative situations than it will turn bad situations into good situations. And using a gun to become a crimefighter, IE breaking up this and other similar situations by waving your gun around, is bound to result in really really bad things sooner rather than later. I think it would have been pretty stupid to brandish your gun in this situation, all things considered.

[/ QUOTE ]

Actually I would say the situation gets far more complicated with a concealed weapon and should make one less likely to want to get involved.

First off, you cannot simply draw the weapon unless the woman is in mortal danger. Do so improperly and an arrest will occur.

Second, getting into any kind of physical altercation with a concealed weapon is a tricky proposition. As mentioned, you cannot simply draw yet you are in a position where you are in a fight that can easily turn lethal. You need to worry about him grabbing the weapon, which is a lot easier since ccw holsters are not designed for retention like cop holsters. While it's possible that he will never know you have a weapon, bad things can happen if he does.

[HopeydaFish]

You did the right thing. Don't try to personally intervene in these situations. Let the police handle the situation, that's what they're paid for and trained to do. You don't want to get yourself in the middle of a domestic dispute -- that would be a good way to get yourself killed.

Apparently, the law-abiding citizen that had a concealed handgun license is OBVIOUSLY that jackass beating up on his girlfriend, and he's gonna draw and shoot you dead as soon as you say, "Hey, stop that!"

... yeah. The people I know with CCW permits are some of the most well mannered people I've ever met. Cause/effect, blah blah, but its quite true. Considering that I've become the latest poster-boy for the anti-gun crazies out there, I feel the need to drop off my $0.02 /images/graemlins/wink.gif

Assume I have my concealed handgun license, and assume I'm carrying my Glock 19, loaded w/hollow points and one in the tube. Assume that I'm Tony, and I walk outside to stumble upon this scene.

What in the hell makes you think I'm gonna pull out my gun and aim in at this guy? There are many, many laws that govern rules of engagement, and though I don't know them inside and out right now, I'm 95% sure I'd be going to jail right alongside the moron beating his wife... and my CHL would be revoked.

I would have done the exact same thing Tony did. My gun's sole purpose is to protect me and my family. Not to protect some broad from her crazy drunk boyfriend. That's what the cops are for.

Apologies for the semi-hijack.

Being results-oriented I'd say your play was good, as the cops got there quickly and no harm done to your person.

I do think the least you could have done was shout in their direction. I think this would subdue the guy just a bit, knowing that someone sees this.

I would shout without getting TOO close and then call the cops. You are probably right, he was probably drunk and you just don't want to get involved in that crap.

Anyone over the age of 25 has too much to lose over something like this! If you are under 25, I'd say being a hero is much more feasible.

This, of course, is just a huge generalization. All-in-all I'd say good play by you.

[kyro]

[ QUOTE ]
I went outside to get some air and smoke a cigarette.

[/ QUOTE ]

Good one.

[Boris]

What if she just wouldn't listen to him?

[busguy]

[ QUOTE ]
It's to the thread, not you. (I think; it was a different post the first time I checked)

[/ QUOTE ]

Nah . . . I'd wager that he meant that guy.

It takes a real genius to exponentially increase the odds of his daughter being daddyless at some point in the future.

[RustedCorpse]

I vote that you did the smart and correct thing.

Personally I would have probably approached (and I generally keep an eye out for weapons of opportunity about)

I was living in richmond at one point and something very similar happened in my front lawn. So my dog is going apeshit barking and I look outside and there is this dude that just smacked this woman hard enough to knock her to her knees. Now I don't like people on my land so I immideiatly open the door yell something to the guy like "Hey, that's enough take it away from here." or some such. The guy turns and does a "F#ck you" and sticks the old middle figer out. So I grab his finger torgue it forward and hit him in the throat when he leans in nice and close. Two hits to the stomach and I throw him to the ground, give him a kick. I take one step and turn to the chick. I hear "You F$cking b#tch!" at this point I catch her fist in the head, and she jumps on me as starts smacking an bunching me. I actually was a moron and didn't outright clock her so I ended up getting knocked to the ground. Of course the guy happens to be getting up at this point too. So suddenly I hear the guy start screaming like a little girl and the woman yells out as my dog (who had ripped through the screen door) decides she wants to be invovled to and has proceeded to bite and claw the woman on top of me.

What follows is a strange and awkward period of me getting my dog under control and the idiots (who apparently were terrified of dogs) leaving holding each other and yelling the occasional F*ck you from a safe distance.

If you had saved her you could have gotten some pssy

[RustedCorpse]

Not to hijack but I agree 100%. Getting a concealed permit is such a freakin pain in the butt that anyone who has one is usally someone willing to do things ABC by the book. The nut job that scares me is the jersey kid that just bought a little glock off his pot dealer and is anxious to show the world how "ganster" he is.

[Jeebus]

This is about my play in the situation. Multiple rapes have occured near my house and 1)that ain't cool, 2)it brings lots of police around a house which the police should not be driving around frequently (though I won't mention why, everyone take a guess). So if I walk out to this crap, I'm definatly getting ivolved. But first I'm walking back in the house and waking up my two roommates and my nice Boxer/German Shepard/Lab mix that loves everyone unless they make any kind of gesture to me. Then she puts them on the ground. Also, we grab something along the lines of pool cues/golf clubs and walk outside. At this point its a very simple matter of walking up and politely informing the guy that hitting women just isn't right and that he needs to go somewhere else. Also, I try to get some pussy for being a hero.

[gamblore99]

I think you played it well. My brother was in a situation very similiar last year. Walking home at like 1:30, he sees a woman run out of subway and 2 guys kind of tackle her. They are all like mid 30's looking and the woman is screaming. My brother walks towards them and says "hey! whats going on". They tell him nothing is, and that he shouldn't worry about it. The woman is still screaming, and he is unsure what to do, but decides he's not leaving. One of the guys is a beast, looks like he is on steriods (that is his description, and he is a big guy himself) and for some reason decides to charge my brother. As he is running he trips on the ice. The commotion attracts the attention of a bouncer nearby, and then some other kids walking home. Soon they have a whole group and start closing in on the 2 bad guys. They make a break for it, police are called and 30 minutes later they show up with the big guy in the back the police car.
While I think this story is totally cool, my brother would most likely be seriously [censored] up had that guy not tripped on the ice.

[Felix_Nietsche]

........Minding your own business is the best policy.

If it is a true assault then call the cops. I could tell some stories of women using would be "rescuers" to get back at their boyfriends. But I don't feel like it.

[BigBaitsim (milo)]

Well done.

[durron597]

I would have called anonymously - the worst part of calling the police would be getting summoned to court as a witness.

[Felix_Nietsche]

......some of their most dangerous calls. Tread carefully.

1. Ask any cop and he will tell you that a DV is the riskiest, most potentially explosive call out you can go to; if you dont have to get involved, dont. The female could actually have become an attacker if you intervened.

2. Having a pistol, as somebody mentioned, makes getting involved much dicier. Not only must you have lethal force justification, but even getting into a non-lethal force fight is dangerous because of gun retention issues.

[tonypaladino]

[ QUOTE ]
2. Having a pistol, as somebody mentioned, makes getting involved much dicier. Not only must you have lethal force justification, but even getting into a non-lethal force fight is dangerous because of gun retention issues.


[/ QUOTE ]

Doesn everyone here have learning disabilities or readind comrehension problems. I NEVER SAID IT WOULD BE A GOOD IDEA TO USE/HAVE A GUN IN THIS SITUATION. I made a joke after someone said something about a gun, and made it clear it was a joke after the first two replies.