Quiet Friends [Archive] - Two Plus Two Older Archives

Sponger15SB

11-14-2005, 03:15 AM

I don't know whether to call one of my friends shy or mute. He lives 2 doors down and all of our friends are friends so we hang out a lot.

He rarely talks. Ever. At most you'll get a few sentances out of him, and you can manage to hold a conversation with just him nodding a few times. He is the life of the party though. Everyone loves him. He has never said anything out of line or that people disagree with. He doesn't have much of an opinion either way. He never yells or gets mad but always seems generally happy even though he never shows much emotion.

I've never met anyone like this and didn't know there were people that were actually this shy? Is this a common occurance? Do a lot of people out there know multiple people like this? I'm pretty sure this guy would have 0 friends if not for being a really good surfer/skater because its hard to hold a conversation with him and for him to meet new people unless he is introduced to them.

Biggle10

11-14-2005, 03:20 AM

I knew a girl like this in college. We asked her why she was so quiet. She pretty much stated that she usually didn't have anything to add to a conversation. I experienced the same 'nodding' conversation a few times.

edfurlong

11-14-2005, 03:21 AM

Thats pretty much me.

TheMainEvent

11-14-2005, 03:31 AM

Sometimes it's cool as hell to hang out with people like this just as a break from normal people who talk your ear off (read: obnoxious girls).

tonypaladino

11-14-2005, 03:35 AM

This was me in High School. I think its a low self-esteem issue. You don't talk because you don't want to be judged. I loosened up after I stopped caring what people think of me.

Schneids

11-14-2005, 03:35 AM

It's not how much you say, but what you say. Filling air is fun, but often unneccessary. The best conversations are ones where almost nothing needs to be said, yet everything is perfectly understood.

Sponger15SB

11-14-2005, 03:40 AM

[ QUOTE ]
I knew a girl like this in college. We asked her why she was so quiet. She pretty much stated that she usually didn't have anything to add to a conversation.

[/ QUOTE ]

The fact that almost everything this guy says is gold should be proof that he has much more to add to the conversation than he thinks, if he does feel this way.

Sponger15SB

11-14-2005, 03:41 AM

[ QUOTE ]
It's not how much you say, but what you say. Filling air is fun, but often unneccessary. The best conversations are ones where almost nothing needs to be said, yet everything is perfectly understood.

[/ QUOTE ]

While this is true, in cases of people like this you are almost begging them to talk because you hear so little out of them.

thirddan

11-14-2005, 03:42 AM

im like this around people i dont know well (or are just aquaintances)...but once i get to know people or find a commond interest i become much more social...

Sponger15SB

11-14-2005, 03:46 AM

[ QUOTE ]
im like this around people i dont know well (or are just aquaintances)...but once i get to know people or find a commond interest i become much more social...

[/ QUOTE ]

I wouldn't say I'm like the person I describe in my OP around people I don't know, but more than enough people have shocked me when they told me that I'm really shy. I feel around my good friends I can't shut up.

This is obviously something that everyone has, but not as many people take it to such lengths.

I feel that I like my current friends and don't really need/care for new ones. Weird.

Dynasty

11-14-2005, 03:53 AM

[ QUOTE ]
I loosened up after I stopped caring what people think of me.

[/ QUOTE ]

Is it important to you that other people know that you don't care what they think of you?

tonypaladino

11-14-2005, 03:58 AM

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I loosened up after I stopped caring what people think of me.

[/ QUOTE ]

Is it important to you that other people know that you don't care what they think of you?

[/ QUOTE ]

http://img397.imageshack.us/img397/8784/503730372mlgvbpph9gn.jpg

diebitter

11-14-2005, 03:58 AM

Often, people like this are indimitated by loud, extroverted people.

Personally, I've found people like this are usually pretty smart and interesting once you get em talking (usually it's one to one, somewhere away from the noise monkeys), though I do remember one girl who everyone thought was sweetly quiet, until one day she got sort of drunk, and confided to someone (who told me) she'd fantasise about walking down a busy street holding a bag full of babies' heads /images/graemlins/shocked.gif

That wasn't funny, I can tell you.

ClaytonN

11-14-2005, 03:59 AM

[ QUOTE ]

Is it important to you that other people know that you don't care what they think of you?

[/ QUOTE ]

I was the same as Tony, and yes. I hated being judged and looked down upon until I said 'fk it, if you're like that then I'm not gonna try and be your friend'. A lot of it comes from trying to be everyone's friend, and it just isn't the case. You can't please everyone.

PokerFink

11-14-2005, 03:59 AM

I have a buddy like this. We can go out to dinner with the guys, and he will say maybe five sentences, but two of them will be the funniest two things said by anyone during the dinner.

He is never out of line, I've never heard him insult anyone, and he pretty much never complains. Needless to say, everyone likes him.

shant

11-14-2005, 04:01 AM

Dude, Carlo reads OOT. He's gonna know you posted about him.

astroglide

11-14-2005, 04:06 AM

[ QUOTE ]
It's not how much you say, but what you say. Filling air is fun, but often unneccessary. The best conversations are ones where almost nothing needs to be said, yet everything is perfectly understood.

[/ QUOTE ]

http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/175/249/1600/orly.jpg

rusellmj

11-14-2005, 04:46 AM

Dude, that pic is a scream.

I was pretty quiet til my mid 20's. I took some effort to be more communicative and social. I wouldn't say I was the life of the party but I still had fun.
My friend used to pipe me quite a bit about being so quiet during social gatherings. I think he just felt I should be more like him when in fact I was just me.
I think I just need to get to know people a little bit first before I feel comfortable.

toss

11-14-2005, 04:50 AM

These kind of people like to sit back and observe.

11-14-2005, 05:36 AM

He's lucky - does so little and still can be easily accepted. Pshhtt

Tears

Ulysses

11-14-2005, 05:42 AM

benza13

11-14-2005, 05:43 AM

[ QUOTE ]
These kind of people like to sit back and observe.

[/ QUOTE ]

This is definitely me, once I get to know people, or once I am drinking I am much more social. Around a group of my good friends I am among the most talkative, but around a group of strangers usually the quietest.

daveymck

11-14-2005, 05:51 AM

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
These kind of people like to sit back and observe.

[/ QUOTE ]

This is definitely me, once I get to know people, or once I am drinking I am much more social. Around a group of my good friends I am among the most talkative, but around a group of strangers usually the quietest.

[/ QUOTE ]

This is me as well, pretty quiet and dont put myself forward but one I know you or get 1 to 1 with you then much easier and better. The one liner is me as well.

Its an issue for me in a way cos I have to interview a lot being a contractor and it is my weakest point, even though in other contracts I have done training and UAT sessions in front of 30+ people wihout any problem.

Malachii

11-14-2005, 05:51 AM

Silence is power. Always say less than necessary.

MyTurn2Raise

11-14-2005, 07:02 AM

[ QUOTE ]
This was me in High School. I think its a low self-esteem issue. You don't talk because you don't want to be judged. I loosened up after I stopped caring what people think of me.

[/ QUOTE ]

The drug use loosened me up

Dear kids, I'm not endorsing drugs, but they worked for me.

11-14-2005, 07:05 AM

Less is More.

I talk alot, but only with good friends. I find that when I'm getting to know someone, sitting back and just listening will tell you all you need to know.

Plus, if you can nail a joke or two, or meaningfully add a sentence or two to a conversation, people will be impressed by that.

11-14-2005, 07:10 AM

[ QUOTE ]
These kind of people like to sit back and observe.

[/ QUOTE ]

http://i26.photobucket.com/albums/c114/quietkevin/watching.jpg

tonypaladino

11-14-2005, 07:12 AM

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
This was me in High School. I think its a low self-esteem issue. You don't talk because you don't want to be judged. I loosened up after I stopped caring what people think of me.

[/ QUOTE ]

The drug use loosened me up

Dear kids, I'm not endorsing drugs, but they worked for me.

[/ QUOTE ]

I don't think it's a coincidence that I started being more social right around when I became a stoner. (Not one anymore though)

11-14-2005, 07:13 AM

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
This was me in High School. I think its a low self-esteem issue. You don't talk because you don't want to be judged. I loosened up after I stopped caring what people think of me.

[/ QUOTE ]

The drug use loosened me up

Dear kids, I'm not endorsing drugs, but they worked for me.

[/ QUOTE ]

I don't think it's a coincidence that I started being more social right around when I became a stoner. (Not one anymore though)

[/ QUOTE ]

nope, now he eats butter. on to the hard stuff.
weed is a gateway drug!!!

MyTurn2Raise

11-14-2005, 07:13 AM

yep...drug free since March of '99. see the Cancer v Jail thread for why

11-14-2005, 07:14 AM

I use a vaporizer, no chance o cancer.

wish more people knew about them.

tonypaladino

11-14-2005, 07:15 AM

[ QUOTE ]
yep...drug free since March of '99. see the Cancer v Jail thread for why

[/ QUOTE ]

Cool. I am not drug free, but I'm down from smoking up twice a day 4 years ago to smoking once every 2-3 months.

MyTurn2Raise

11-14-2005, 07:16 AM

the only thing I miss is shrooms

Schneids

11-14-2005, 07:21 AM

Diablo I hate you. To answer you: No. FU.

2+2 wannabe

11-14-2005, 08:21 AM

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
These kind of people like to sit back and observe.

[/ QUOTE ]

http://i26.photobucket.com/albums/c114/quietkevin/watching.jpg

[/ QUOTE ]

is this the guy from sin city?

JaBlue

11-14-2005, 08:34 AM

My friend Jun is like this. He is a small asian kid that never talks. If spoken to, he'll usually reply with a short, direct sentence. In conversation he doesn't say much but when he does it is very accurate or hilarious. Everyone loves Jun.

El Barto

11-14-2005, 09:25 AM

[ QUOTE ]
Silence is power. Always say less than necessary.

[/ QUOTE ]

You said too much.

miajag81

11-14-2005, 09:33 AM

[ QUOTE ]
Thats pretty much me.

[/ QUOTE ]

durron597

11-14-2005, 10:16 AM

[ QUOTE ]

The fact that almost everything this guy says is gold should be proof that he has much more to add to the conversation than he thinks, if he does feel this way.

[/ QUOTE ]

Or maybe he reserves speaking for when he does have something to say that is gold?

vulturesrow

11-14-2005, 10:54 AM

I had a friend like this in high school and he pulled more chicks than anyone. It was pretty amazing.

Sponger15SB

11-14-2005, 11:18 AM

[ QUOTE ]
I had a friend like this in high school and he pulled more chicks than anyone. It was pretty amazing.

[/ QUOTE ]

I am not sure if or how many girls he has pulled, however my roomates asked him if they bought him a prostitute for his 21st birthday (last thursday) if he would make use of her, his response "I would if there was two of them".

11-14-2005, 12:16 PM

I know people like this. This isn't uncommon.

He's probably a "great listener". People love having someone to talk to that never disagrees with them.

He'll be just fine at life.

Peter666

11-14-2005, 12:30 PM

It would be great to have a wife like that.

Brainwalter

11-14-2005, 12:34 PM

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]

The fact that almost everything this guy says is gold should be proof that he has much more to add to the conversation than he thinks, if he does feel this way.

[/ QUOTE ]

Or maybe he reserves speaking for when he does have something to say that is gold?

[/ QUOTE ]

A wise man speaks because he has something to say; A fool speaks because he has to say something.