Longest Log you've ever laid.. [Archive] - Two Plus Two Older Archives

11-10-2005, 04:43 PM

OK, so I'm semi-famous for laying some monster logs. My brother has exaggerated to friends about my abilities, implying such things as me "saving it up" for 2 weeks at a time. This is not true, but for an averaged sized individual, I've laid some monster logs. 6'0" 185 pounds. Not the logs...that's my size. /images/graemlins/tongue.gif

I estimate my longest to be between 12"-13", intact. It spanned from back to front in the toilet, like a chocolate bridge over the poop water. I cannot estimate it's weight, but I imagine it was in excess of 20 solid ounces.

My line of work involves measuring constantly, so my eyeballed-estimation is definitely accurate.

If memory serves, this one I laid was either a triple, or quadruple flush.

CheckRaise

11-10-2005, 04:45 PM

Last year my roomate laid one that we measured at 14-15 inches. We actually measured it with a tape, I know it wasn't 100% accurate but probably pretty close to that range.

LALDAAS

11-10-2005, 04:46 PM

WTF

HopeydaFish

11-10-2005, 04:48 PM

[ QUOTE ]
Last year my roomate laid one that we measured at 14-15 inches. We actually measured it with a tape, I know it wasn't 100% accurate but probably pretty close to that range.

[/ QUOTE ]

Funny, I wouldn't even want to *see* another human's excrement, let alone get close enough to measure it.

Has word gotten out that [censored] is out of town? This is the only explanation I have for the myriad of horrible horrible threads I've had to read today. /images/graemlins/blush.gif

11-10-2005, 04:50 PM

[ QUOTE ]
WTF

[/ QUOTE ]

I didn't post in the wrong forum, did I? /images/graemlins/tongue.gif

MrWookie47

11-10-2005, 04:51 PM

I think this is a job for

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v382/aksooted/censoredsignal.jpg

11-10-2005, 04:52 PM

Come on man, it's just a little toilet-humor. Trying to add a little levity to the topic!

Is Nut-sack Man a large log-layer as well?

pokerdirty

11-10-2005, 04:52 PM

goodbye KSteel #2

(LOL, i just made a joke on accident)

CheckRaise

11-10-2005, 04:52 PM

I couldn't miss this [censored] of epic proportions, it was probably a once in a life time opportunity.

Voltron87

11-10-2005, 04:54 PM

if this thread gets locked K Deel banned from OOT it will be a large oversight.

btw why is "Log" capitalized?

HopeydaFish

11-10-2005, 04:54 PM

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
WTF

[/ QUOTE ]

I didn't post in the wrong forum, did I? /images/graemlins/tongue.gif

[/ QUOTE ]

Yes, posts about feces belong in Politics.

11-10-2005, 04:55 PM

[ QUOTE ]
goodbye KSteel #2

(LOL, i just made a joke on accident)

[/ QUOTE ]

Oh come on. This is a legitimate question!
I think it's interesting to ponder the capabilities of the human body... that's all.

Plus, b*s*ball season is over so I'm bored.

Are you just jealous b/c your logs fall apart or something?

pokerdirty

11-10-2005, 04:55 PM

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
goodbye KSteel #2

(LOL, i just made a joke on accident)

[/ QUOTE ]

Oh come on. This is a legitimate question!
I think it's interesting to ponder the capabilities of the human body... that's all.

Plus, b*s*ball season is over so I'm bored.

Are you just jealous b/c your logs fall apart or something?

[/ QUOTE ]

I don't poop.

Ulysses

11-10-2005, 04:55 PM

It's not noteworthy unless it has to curve around the bowl to fit.

11-10-2005, 04:56 PM

[ QUOTE ]

btw why is "Log" capitalized?

[/ QUOTE ]

Oh, you capitalize things that demand respect...

11-10-2005, 04:58 PM

[ QUOTE ]
It's not noteworthy unless it has to curve around the bowl to fit.

[/ QUOTE ]

Oh, it would have. It def. would have donned the C-shape, but for whatever reason, I was dumping into an unusually large water closet that day. It was pretty straight. And I believe the first flush merely sheared (broke) it in half. 2nd flush made piece "A" disappear, and the third flush made piece "B" disappear.

pokerdirty

11-10-2005, 05:04 PM

get yourself an icecream cone and you've got yourself a tasty recycled treat for when your finished.

11-10-2005, 05:04 PM

[ QUOTE ]
get yourself an icecream cone and you've got yourself a tasty recycled treat for when your finished.

[/ QUOTE ]

Wrong thread. This post belongs in the "would you eat crap for 6 months for a million dollars?" thread.

11-10-2005, 05:09 PM

True High School Story:

All boys, catholic high school, so you can get the sense of decorum. Sitting at lunch, and there is a rumbling from table to table about this poop some kid took in the fourth floor bathroom. I dismissed it, went back to eating. First period after lunch, I hear someone talking about it, next period, the whole class is buzzing. Last period of the day, my TEACHER mentioned something about it...we then proceeded to go nuts, and got to take field trips of 4-5 people at a time to look at this massive dump. Now, by this time, the whole school had gotten wind of this (intentional..) and as our group approached the bathroom, we could see a mini-shrine erected from looseleaf and old notebook cardboard. Over the doorway was a huge sign that said HOME OF THE LOG. I seriously doubted that it could be nearly as big as the hype. We walked in, opened the door, and looked...it was as big as a football. Literally. All it was missing was the laces....just a big stinky unreal mess. Ill never forget it. Ill never speak of this again, I just had to get it off my chest.

11-10-2005, 05:11 PM

[ QUOTE ]
Ill never speak of this again, I just had to get it off my chest.

[/ QUOTE ]

DUDE! You got a Cleveland Steamer at school!!!

Sponger15SB

11-10-2005, 05:13 PM

I laid one so thick it wouldn't even move down the tube. It just sat there like a loaf of bread. It was at a Jack in the Box and my friend went into the bathroom and saw it and claimed it was proof that I take it up the ass.

11-10-2005, 05:15 PM

[ QUOTE ]
I laid one so thick it wouldn't even move down the tube. It just sat there like a loaf of bread. It was at a Jack in the Box and my friend went into the bathroom and saw it and claimed it was proof that I take it up the ass.

[/ QUOTE ]

Well, it's not PROOF, per se. But it's not looking too good for you, pal. It's definitely not helping your case. I never said how thick mine was. Just long. Of course you can imagine it had to be pretty thick to support over a foot of processed food.

Cancuk

11-10-2005, 05:35 PM

[ QUOTE ]
True High School Story:

All boys, catholic high school, so you can get the sense of decorum. Sitting at lunch, and there is a rumbling from table to table about this poop some kid took in the fourth floor bathroom. I dismissed it, went back to eating. First period after lunch, I hear someone talking about it, next period, the whole class is buzzing. Last period of the day, my TEACHER mentioned something about it...we then proceeded to go nuts, and got to take field trips of 4-5 people at a time to look at this massive dump. Now, by this time, the whole school had gotten wind of this (intentional..) and as our group approached the bathroom, we could see a mini-shrine erected from looseleaf and old notebook cardboard. Over the doorway was a huge sign that said HOME OF THE LOG. I seriously doubted that it could be nearly as big as the hype. We walked in, opened the door, and looked...it was as big as a football. Literally. All it was missing was the laces....just a big stinky unreal mess. Ill never forget it. Ill never speak of this again, I just had to get it off my chest.

[/ QUOTE ]

A football? Intact? Jesus...

xadrez

11-10-2005, 05:39 PM

In all honesty the longest log I ever laid was the one inside yo momma!

IndieMatty

11-10-2005, 05:39 PM

chuddo

11-10-2005, 05:46 PM

what a sweet story.

once on a comping trip a guy showed everyone a disgusting probably 18" turd (terd?). it was a sick bright orange hue.

11-10-2005, 05:48 PM

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
True High School Story:

All boys, catholic high school, so you can get the sense of decorum. Sitting at lunch, and there is a rumbling from table to table about this poop some kid took in the fourth floor bathroom. I dismissed it, went back to eating. First period after lunch, I hear someone talking about it, next period, the whole class is buzzing. Last period of the day, my TEACHER mentioned something about it...we then proceeded to go nuts, and got to take field trips of 4-5 people at a time to look at this massive dump. Now, by this time, the whole school had gotten wind of this (intentional..) and as our group approached the bathroom, we could see a mini-shrine erected from looseleaf and old notebook cardboard. Over the doorway was a huge sign that said HOME OF THE LOG. I seriously doubted that it could be nearly as big as the hype. We walked in, opened the door, and looked...it was as big as a football. Literally. All it was missing was the laces....just a big stinky unreal mess. Ill never forget it. Ill never speak of this again, I just had to get it off my chest.

[/ QUOTE ]

Jesus Christ, did you go to Chaminade?! Was this Pat Bolans arms length crap?

Just sorted out via PM. This exact same thing happened at my all boys catholic high school in New York, except it was the size of a massive forearm and it was on the second floor. Everything else is exactly the same. Very weird. Obviously the pope endorses scat.

[/ QUOTE ]

Dude, your pm's are maxed out. But what is really [censored] up, is that when you said Chaminade, I automatically assumed you were talking about the Chaminade in my town, about 8 states west of you. They are obv all male catholic school, and our "rivals" or whatever you want to call it.

IndieMatty

11-10-2005, 05:51 PM

[quoteDude, your pm's are maxed out. But what is really [censored] up, is that when you said Chaminade, I automatically assumed you were talking about the Chaminade in my town, about 8 states west of you. They are obv all male catholic school, and our "rivals" or whatever you want to call it.

[/ QUOTE ]

Weird. This is so lame, theres not even a message saying my PMs are maxed out. I don't even want to get into how [censored] up it is, that PMs are also censored.

11-10-2005, 06:05 PM

The most uncomfortable thing though is when you're readin, everything's coming out fine, then something's wrong... you think about it for a moment, and you realize that your long solid log'o'filth has extended all the way to the bottom of the toilet, and is still attached to your bum... you literally have to raise up and hover to get the rest of it out.

ugh.

MrWookie47

11-10-2005, 06:05 PM

PM's between friends you'd think would be fine to be uncensored, but I think the site doesn't want people sending horribly profane messages to people who they are (a) flaming or (b) trolling.

11-10-2005, 06:16 PM

I think this thread has quality.

Anyway, the problem with my monster dumps is that they always go halway down the hole instead of coiling up like a snake in the bowl. It's impossible to tell how much is hidden. I usually keep my records in terms of flushes: I've had too many cloggers to count.

11-10-2005, 06:39 PM

[ QUOTE ]
The most uncomfortable thing though is when you're readin, everything's coming out fine, then something's wrong... you think about it for a moment, and you realize that your long solid log'o'filth has extended all the way to the bottom of the toilet, and is still attached to your bum... you literally have to raise up and hover to get the rest of it out.

ugh.

[/ QUOTE ]

OMG, you're my hero. I've yet to have this happen.

You could also flush mid-dump to sort of...pull it out of your a**hole. Nasty.

11-10-2005, 06:42 PM

Yes, this is disappointing, and it happens to all of us.

There is no way to know how long these are. I may have laid one in excess of 13", 20 oz. But I'll never know. I can only speculate amongst friends.

I don't understand how someone sh*ts out a football though. I'm thinking it was just a styrofoam football that was layered in sh*t.

Did anyone verify if this was solid waste? It could have been papier mache.

pokerdirty

11-10-2005, 06:43 PM

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v382/aksooted/censoredsignal.jpg
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v382/aksooted/censoredsignal.jpg
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v382/aksooted/censoredsignal.jpg
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v382/aksooted/censoredsignal.jpg
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v382/aksooted/censoredsignal.jpg

man

11-10-2005, 06:44 PM

[ QUOTE ]
In all honesty the longest log I ever laid was the one inside yo momma!

[/ QUOTE ]
I bet you're not being honest at all.

and this is gross.

kurosh

11-10-2005, 09:29 PM

I took this nearly 2 months ago. I have been waiting for this moment since then.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v218/kurosh/DSC_0007Medium.jpg

AngryCola

11-10-2005, 09:33 PM

Perhaps [censored] went camping. /images/graemlins/grin.gif

srgodm

11-10-2005, 09:43 PM

That is gross. It is pokin out of the water though, nice.

HopeydaFish

11-10-2005, 10:11 PM

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v382/aksooted/censoredsignal.jpg

For christ's sake. I nearly threw up.

NLSoldier

11-10-2005, 10:21 PM

[ QUOTE ]
It's not noteworthy unless it has to curve around the bowl to fit.

[/ QUOTE ]

my friend has one that coiled around like 2 or 3 times. We took a picture. I'll try to track it down.

11-10-2005, 10:26 PM

no seriously, thats okay. Im pretty sure that talking about it is dancing on the correct side of the TMI line, and when you post it, you're on the [censored] side of the TMI line.

thats really really kinda [censored] nasty.

you know there's something wrong when you see a pic that doesnt have [censored].

kurosh

11-10-2005, 10:32 PM

A THREAD ABOUT THE LONGEST [censored] YOU HAVE EVER LAID IS NOT COMPLETE WITHOUT PICTURES

11-11-2005, 11:00 AM

[ QUOTE ]
A THREAD ABOUT THE LONGEST [censored] YOU HAVE EVER LAID IS NOT COMPLETE WITHOUT PICTURES

[/ QUOTE ]

I don't have pics. I could only re-enact what it looked like in MS Paint. Not gonna do it, though.

Shajen

11-11-2005, 11:06 AM

Back in the Corps, I had lived on a diet of MREs for two weeks while in the field. I had just gotten back and ate taco bell that night, along with a bunch of beer.

The next morning I gave birth to an amazing beast.

I thought it was going to try and crawl out of the toilet. I didn't measure, but I'm guessing it was in the area of 20 inches. Coiled, as if waiting to strike. It fought valiantly, but the second flush sent it on it's way.

I felt 10lbs lighter.

11-11-2005, 11:27 AM

[ QUOTE ]
but the second flush sent it on it's way.

[/ QUOTE ]

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

11-11-2005, 11:50 AM

[ QUOTE ]
Back in the Corps, I had lived on a diet of MREs for two weeks while in the field. I had just gotten back and ate taco bell that night, along with a bunch of beer.

The next morning I gave birth to an amazing beast.

I thought it was going to try and crawl out of the toilet. I didn't measure, but I'm guessing it was in the area of 20 inches. Coiled, as if waiting to strike. It fought valiantly, but the second flush sent it on it's way.

I felt 10lbs lighter.

[/ QUOTE ]

I call BS. 20 inches!? That is a newborn BABY for Christ's sake. BTW, are you Football-man?

11-11-2005, 11:51 AM

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
but the second flush sent it on it's way.

[/ QUOTE ]

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

[/ QUOTE ]

hahaha, great gimmick account.

Thats just hilarious.

Vavavoom

11-11-2005, 11:58 AM

[ QUOTE ]
A THREAD ABOUT THE LONGEST [censored] YOU HAVE EVER LAID IS NOT COMPLETE WITHOUT PICTURES

[/ QUOTE ]

I can't believe u have posted that pic.....

Jeez some of us are at work !! FFS !!!

11-11-2005, 12:17 PM

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
A THREAD ABOUT THE LONGEST [censored] YOU HAVE EVER LAID IS NOT COMPLETE WITHOUT PICTURES

[/ QUOTE ]

I can't believe u have posted that pic.....

Jeez some of us are at work !! FFS !!!

[/ QUOTE ]

I know, right? And it wasn't even impressive. Of course I believe Kurosh is only about 5'7". We need to get Swede in here and see if he's laid a foot-and-a-halfer, in his prime.

PocketJokers72

11-11-2005, 01:06 PM

You guys are all a bunch of rookies. I laid this last time I traveled to Japan.

Enjoy....

NSFW----DooDoo Picture (http://www.adonisprecision.com/imghost/doodoo.jpg)

11-11-2005, 01:30 PM

I've enhanced the [censored] signal. Maybe this will work:

http://img261.imageshack.us/img261/5314/csignal4ru.jpg

Shajen

11-11-2005, 02:02 PM

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
but the second flush sent it on it's way.

[/ QUOTE ]

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

[/ QUOTE ]

/images/graemlins/blush.gif

Blarg

11-11-2005, 03:14 PM

I did one that was about 14 inches and super solid. It lay there ramrod straight poking up out of the toilet. I've made tons of huge logs, but that was the biggest one I've ever seen, length wise.

I made another that was, seriously, slightly wider than a coke can. I held a coke can real close to it just to be sure, because it almost killed me coming out and I couldn't believe how wide it was. That one was like 10 inches long too, and uniformly wide throughout almost the whole length. I was walking funny for days after that one. That was probably one of the most painful craps I've ever had.

I've always had a real slow digestive system, and if I don't eat a ton of roughage, I can store it up for four or five days easy. I went 10 days once without pinching a loaf. It was misery. Now I take psyllium husks and eat lots of veggies to help, so I don't have to go through that kinda pain and nausea.

By the way, my record for number of full on craps, not just a little pebble or two or something, or when I've had the runs, was three times in one day. I've only done it twice, and damn, it felt good to get it all out. That should have been broadcast coast to coast or something, I felt like such a hero.

Blarg

11-11-2005, 03:18 PM

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
but the second flush sent it on it's way.

[/ QUOTE ]

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

[/ QUOTE ]

Especially since the correction is incorrect.

hahaha, great gimmick account.

Thats just hilarious.

[/ QUOTE ]

chuddo

11-11-2005, 03:44 PM

[ QUOTE ]
You guys are all a bunch of rookies. I laid this last time I traveled to Japan.

Enjoy....

NSFW----DooDoo Picture (http://www.adonisprecision.com/imghost/doodoo.jpg)

[/ QUOTE ]

this is the most disgusting thing i have seen in a while. you should submit it to ratemypoo.com. i am sure it will be in the top 5 of all time.

Shajen

11-11-2005, 03:49 PM

I can smell it from here.

Ugh.

11-11-2005, 04:26 PM

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
You guys are all a bunch of rookies. I laid this last time I traveled to Japan.

Enjoy....

NSFW----DooDoo Picture (http://www.adonisprecision.com/imghost/doodoo.jpg)

[/ QUOTE ]

this is the most disgusting thing i have seen in a while. you should submit it to ratemypoo.com. i am sure it will be in the top 5 of all time.

[/ QUOTE ]

I'm at work. I'll check this out when I get home. I can't wait.

11-11-2005, 04:30 PM

[ QUOTE ]
I did one that was about 14 inches and super solid. It lay there ramrod straight poking up out of the toilet. I've made tons of huge logs, but that was the biggest one I've ever seen, length wise.

I made another that was, seriously, slightly wider than a coke can. I held a coke can real close to it just to be sure, because it almost killed me coming out and I couldn't believe how wide it was. That one was like 10 inches long too, and uniformly wide throughout almost the whole length. I was walking funny for days after that one. That was probably one of the most painful craps I've ever had.

I've always had a real slow digestive system, and if I don't eat a ton of roughage, I can store it up for four or five days easy. I went 10 days once without pinching a loaf. It was misery. Now I take psyllium husks and eat lots of veggies to help, so I don't have to go through that kinda pain and nausea.

By the way, my record for number of full on craps, not just a little pebble or two or something, or when I've had the runs, was three times in one day. I've only done it twice, and damn, it felt good to get it all out. That should have been broadcast coast to coast or something, I felt like such a hero.

[/ QUOTE ]

I can't comprehend how you can sh*t out the thickness of a coke can? That seems inhuman, and un-Godly.

You are a mere mortal, right?

I mean we can't chalk this up to variance, because you would need the necessary infrastructure to even be ABLE to release a beast of this magnitude.

Have you had cosmetic work done? Did you get the ass-stretching procedure done? If so, who do you reccommend?

Blarg

11-11-2005, 05:25 PM

Shocked the crap out of me, so to speak, too. A once in a lifetime thing. I hope to God. The infrastructure was created at the moment, and I had big roids for a while after. Part of my intestine got pulled out after; anal prolapse it's called.

I was actually standing up and down and doing gymnastics to get it out. I won't get into the details too much, but suffice it to say it came out bloody and I took some disturbing and unusual actions to help get it out. I sweated up a storm, and was pretty tired the rest of the day. I think I actually cried. Worst of all, this was at work.

11-11-2005, 05:28 PM

[ QUOTE ]
Shocked the crap out of me, so to speak, too. A once in a lifetime thing. I hope to God. The infrastructure was created at the moment, and I had big roids for a while after. Part of my intestine got pulled out after; anal prolapse it's called.

I was actually standing up and down and doing gymnastics to get it out. I won't get into the details too much, but suffice it to say it came out bloody and I took some disturbing and unusual actions to help get it out. I sweated up a storm, and was pretty tired the rest of the day. I think I actually cried. Worst of all, this was at work.

[/ QUOTE ]

We need to re-enact this and superimpose it over Jeff Daniels' scene in Dumb and Dumber.

God, I feel sorry for you. Your anal-lining fell out??? Now that's a bad beat story. This post will not get topped in this thread, or perhaps any.

11-11-2005, 09:09 PM

[ QUOTE ]
You guys are all a bunch of rookies. I laid this last time I traveled to Japan.

Enjoy....

NSFW----DooDoo Picture (http://www.adonisprecision.com/imghost/doodoo.jpg)

[/ QUOTE ]

The length of this one cannot possibly be verified, but only speculated; for there is no sense of scale in this picture.

/images/graemlins/frown.gif

It definitely takes down the "Shape O' the Year" award though. Nice design. I've had C-shapes, but never U-shapes. I'm inspired.

11-11-2005, 09:47 PM

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
but the second flush sent it on it's way.

[/ QUOTE ]

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

[/ QUOTE ]

Especially since the correction is incorrect.

hahaha, great gimmick account.

Thats just hilarious.

[/ QUOTE ]

[/ QUOTE ]

Umm, you sure? http://www.apostrophe.fsnet.co.uk/

That was a highlight not a correction, you awful, ignorant loser.

PocketJokers72

11-11-2005, 11:54 PM

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
You guys are all a bunch of rookies. I laid this last time I traveled to Japan.

Enjoy....

NSFW----DooDoo Picture (http://www.adonisprecision.com/imghost/doodoo.jpg)

[/ QUOTE ]

The length of this one cannot possibly be verified, but only speculated; for there is no sense of scale in this picture.

/images/graemlins/frown.gif

It definitely takes down the "Shape O' the Year" award though. Nice design. I've had C-shapes, but never U-shapes. I'm inspired.

[/ QUOTE ]

Towards your length comment, it was about 12 inches from front to back of the 'trough'. So its total length is on the order of around 24-26 inches. This took less than 2 minutes from first grunt to last wipe. Once the turtle head hit the fresh air,it was like a jailbreak. My entire colon emptied itself in a manner that I have never before, or since, experienced. Like giving birth, except no breathing coach or epidural.

I almost fell in from laughing so hard. Amazingly enough, I felt fantastic afterwards. I think this was due to a combination of laughter and endorphine release, like after running a marathon or getting shot at.

For shatistical purposes, I am 5' 8", 170 lbs, and apparently get plenty of fiber.

rwesty

11-12-2005, 12:01 AM

It was at least 20 or 30 feet long. I met it in the woods near my house.

gunt

11-12-2005, 12:42 AM

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Ill never speak of this again, I just had to get it off my chest.

[/ QUOTE ]

DUDE! You got a Cleveland Steamer at school!!!

[/ QUOTE ]
ROFLMAO LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

11-12-2005, 01:45 AM

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
You guys are all a bunch of rookies. I laid this last time I traveled to Japan.

Enjoy....

NSFW----DooDoo Picture (http://www.adonisprecision.com/imghost/doodoo.jpg)

[/ QUOTE ]

The length of this one cannot possibly be verified, but only speculated; for there is no sense of scale in this picture.

/images/graemlins/frown.gif

It definitely takes down the "Shape O' the Year" award though. Nice design. I've had C-shapes, but never U-shapes. I'm inspired.

[/ QUOTE ]

Towards your length comment, it was about 12 inches from front to back of the 'trough'. So its total length is on the order of around 24-26 inches. This took less than 2 minutes from first grunt to last wipe. Once the turtle head hit the fresh air,it was like a jailbreak. My entire colon emptied itself in a manner that I have never before, or since, experienced. Like giving birth, except no breathing coach or epidural.

I almost fell in from laughing so hard. Amazingly enough, I felt fantastic afterwards. I think this was due to a combination of laughter and endorphine release, like after running a marathon or getting shot at.

For shatistical purposes, I am 5' 8", 170 lbs, and apparently get plenty of fiber.

[/ QUOTE ]

Tell me you left it sans-flush for the next customer to see?

Rootabager

11-12-2005, 03:22 AM

I once laid a turd so long it looked like a snake had come out of the pipes in the toilet and was coming up to bite my ass.
I couldnt flush it and had to get my roomates to come admire it. Then I closed the lid and told my girlfriend I had caught a python in the toilet. She screemed when I opened the lid. She thought it would get her

Blarg

11-12-2005, 12:33 PM

That's how a friend of mine actually landed the girl he married. He told her he found a rat in the toilet and to come see. Then he quickly opened the lid and shoved her head forward from the back of her neck. She screamed bloody murder and he was still laughing about it years later.

wacki

11-12-2005, 12:37 PM

He said it was a rat? Snake is understandable but rat?

Blarg

11-12-2005, 12:39 PM

Yeah, he said there was a dead rat in the toilet.

11-12-2005, 12:41 PM

[ QUOTE ]
He said it was a rat? Snake is understandable but rat?

[/ QUOTE ]

My grandparents went to italy for a month, came back home, heard scratching in the toilet, there was a big rat in it. They called pest control, and they took care of it. Added to my irrational fear of a rat biting me when i take a dump.

11-12-2005, 08:17 PM

[ QUOTE ]
That's how a friend of mine actually landed the girl he married.

[/ QUOTE ]

Well duh! I wouldn't have thought otherwise... /images/graemlins/smirk.gif

Once you start a relationship with scat, it's all uphill from there.

partygirluk

11-12-2005, 08:30 PM

Blarg

11-12-2005, 08:30 PM

Heheheh. It definitely makes for an unforgettable early relationship, I'm sure.

12-19-2005, 10:32 PM

Good story for this thread

The Fastest Going From Having Sex With a Girl to She is Out the Door

Farking around with this girl. Stick my index finger in the pooper. I say "Hey, I'm touching your poo!". She is up and out the door without a word in about 10 seconds flat.

LBJ

12-19-2005, 10:34 PM

[ QUOTE ]
Good story for this thread

The Fastest Going From Having Sex With a Girl to She is Out the Door

Farking around with this girl. Stick my index finger in the pooper. I say "Hey, I'm touching your poo!". She is up and out the door without a word in about 10 seconds flat.

[/ QUOTE ]

The only thing sadder than this post is the fact that you're proud of this.

12-19-2005, 10:37 PM

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Good story for this thread

The Fastest Going From Having Sex With a Girl to She is Out the Door

Farking around with this girl. Stick my index finger in the pooper. I say "Hey, I'm touching your poo!". She is up and out the door without a word in about 10 seconds flat.

[/ QUOTE ]

The only thing sadder than this post is the fact that you're proud of this.

[/ QUOTE ]

Quite proud too! Because it's a good line. "I'm touching your poo!" It comes in hand at all sorts of inappropriate times.