View Full Version : 30 facts about Chuck Norris
slickpoppa
11-08-2005, 05:33 PM
This is some pretty funny sh1t:
http://www.4q.cc/chuck/index.php?topthirty
If this has been posted before fck you all cause I actually did a search and didnt find anything.
Rduke55
11-08-2005, 05:38 PM
OK, I thought this would be lame but it was, in fact, awesome.
My Favorites:
The original theme song to the Transformers was actually "Chuck Norris--more than meets the eye, Chuck Norris--robot in disguise," and starred Chuck Norris as a Texas Ranger who defended the earth from drug-dealing Decepticons and could turn into a pick-up. This was far too much awesome for a single show, however, so it was divided.
Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
Hellen Keller's favorite color is Chuck Norris.
TheMainEvent
11-08-2005, 05:40 PM
This is a ripoff of Bill Brasky, but it's a pretty good one.
samjjones
11-08-2005, 05:41 PM
"Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull."
"Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement."
private joker
11-08-2005, 05:52 PM
These kind of posts are why I'm glad the original Sup Bro has been un-censored.
astroglide
11-08-2005, 05:52 PM
another surprisingly funny link. good work today, guys.
Why don't you send him a PM (http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/showprofile.php?Cat=0&User=40565)
[ QUOTE ]
Why don't you send him a PM (http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/showprofile.php?Cat=0&User=40565)
[/ QUOTE ]
Or his identical twin (http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/showprofile.php?Cat=0&User=11876)
CrazyEyez
11-08-2005, 06:04 PM
[ QUOTE ]
Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
[/ QUOTE ]
haha
Chuck Norris can eat a Rubix Cube and poop it out solved.
coffeecrazy1
11-08-2005, 06:53 PM
Who wins in a fight between Sup Bro, Bill Brasky, and Chuck Norris?
willie
11-08-2005, 07:00 PM
i've read a bunch about vin diesel that are equally as funny /images/graemlins/grin.gif
[ QUOTE ]
Who wins in a fight between Sup Bro, Bill Brasky, and Chuck Norris?
[/ QUOTE ]
Either William Wallace or Vin Diesel. Not sure.
~D
Borodog
11-08-2005, 07:05 PM
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Who wins in a fight between Sup Bro, Bill Brasky, and Chuck Norris?
[/ QUOTE ]
Either William Wallace or Vin Diesel. Not sure.
~D
[/ QUOTE ]
Clearly William Wallace. He's ten feet tall and shoots fireballs out of his arse.
housenuts
11-08-2005, 07:44 PM
hahaha, this one is perfect:
Chuck Norris once went to a frat party, and proceeded to roundhouse every popped collar in sight. He then drank three kegs and [censored] on their floor, just because he's Chuck Norris.
TheMainEvent
11-08-2005, 10:31 PM
[ QUOTE ]
hahaha, this one is perfect:
Chuck Norris once went to a frat party, and proceeded to roundhouse every popped collar in sight. He then drank three kegs and [censored] on their floor, just because he's Chuck Norris.
[/ QUOTE ]
The funniest part of that page is the constant references to roundhouse kicks
El Ishmael
11-08-2005, 10:32 PM
[ QUOTE ]
Hellen Keller's favorite color is Chuck Norris.
[/ QUOTE ]
LOL
Terrabon98
11-08-2005, 10:36 PM
http://www.4q.cc/vin/index.php?topthirty
asofel
11-08-2005, 10:45 PM
[ QUOTE ]
http://www.4q.cc/vin/index.php?topthirty
[/ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Vin Diesel once walked down the street with a massive erection. There were no survivors.
[/ QUOTE ]
that made me laugh
CrazyEyez
11-08-2005, 11:38 PM
[ QUOTE ]
http://www.4q.cc/vin/index.php?topthirty
[/ QUOTE ] [ QUOTE ]
Vin Diesel beat Terry Schiavo in a staring contest.
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Oh man.
TheMainEvent
11-08-2005, 11:59 PM
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
http://www.4q.cc/vin/index.php?topthirty
[/ QUOTE ] [ QUOTE ]
Vin Diesel beat Terry Schiavo in a staring contest.
[/ QUOTE ]
Oh man.
[/ QUOTE ]
http://img189.imageshack.us/img189/3412/shiavo3ba.jpg
BWebb
11-09-2005, 12:47 AM
If you asked how many 5 year olds Chuck Norris could beat up, the answer would be simple. All of them.
slickpoppa - off topic... how come the dude in your avatar looks blue?
ibankonu
11-09-2005, 02:15 AM
[ QUOTE ]
If you asked how many 5 year olds Chuck Norris could beat up, the answer would be simple. All of them.
[/ QUOTE ]
nh sir
LondonBroil
11-09-2005, 02:37 AM
Awesome
Chuck Norris is obviously "The Truth"
Blarg
11-09-2005, 03:59 AM
Good stuff. The last line here cracked me up.
[ QUOTE ]
Chuck Norris was the fourth Wiseman. He brought baby Jesus the gift of "beard". Jesus wore it proudly to his dying day. The other Wisemen, jealous of Jesus' obvious gift favoritism, used their combined influence to have Chuck omitted from the Bible. Shortly after all three died of roundhouse kick related deaths.
[/ QUOTE ]
BreakEvenPlayer
11-09-2005, 08:48 AM
OK I just pumped out a few of these... Tell me which one I should submit to the site.
Chuck Norris has refused to ejaculate until God creates a woman that is forged in his image and therefore worthy enough to give birth to his superchild.
After the World Trade Center towers fell on 9/11, Chuck Norris swam to Afghanistan. He had kicked the heads off of 37 Taliban before he realized that there were no camera crews around and this was not the filming of his new TV movie.
Chuck Norris thinks dead baby jokes are hilarious, but he’s not sure why.
Recenty Chuck Norris has begun taking Viagra, because he hasn’t been getting erections from the sight of fear in other mens’ eyes like he did when he was younger.
Charles Darwin proved in his writings that Chuck Norris evolved from human beings, and that’s why so many people believe his Theory of Evolution today.
When people watch Chuck Norris movies they think they are seeing a bunch of acting and stunts, but really Chuck Norris is killing a bunch of men that he has kidnapped from around the world.
Chuck Norris was considering donating one dollar to Breast Cancer research for every person he destroyed with a roundhouse kick, until his agent told him that he would be broke by Friday.
Blarg
11-09-2005, 08:59 AM
They're all terrible except the second to last one.
BreakEvenPlayer
11-09-2005, 09:03 AM
All I need is one.
Shajen
11-09-2005, 10:21 AM
Chuck Norris is the theory of relativity.
Chuck Norris drank from the holy grail then smashed it on his forehead.
edit: lame. sorry, I'm tired.
CrazyEyez
11-09-2005, 10:42 AM
[ QUOTE ]
Chuck Norris drank from the holy grail then smashed it on his forehead.
[/ QUOTE ]
I chuckled. No pun intended.
Chuch Norris only goes to parties for two things: Drinking beer, and kicking ass with roundhouse kicks. Chuck Norris is in AA.
Chuck Norris was almost [censored] by [censored] for posting pics of dudes he roundhouse kicked... but upon threat of death by kick, [censored un[censored] Chuck Norris.
mason55
11-09-2005, 10:49 AM
[ QUOTE ]
They're all terrible
[/ QUOTE ]
These are not very funny at all.
You get a mulligan on this one.
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All I need is one.
[/ QUOTE ]
Chuck Norris is DERB.
~D
housenuts
11-09-2005, 03:23 PM
Chuck Norris has been known to eat 4 sticks of butter, drink Dave's Insanity sauce, and receive multiple belt lashings across his back and he didn't puss out
....and when El D offered to pay him, Chuck Norris roundhouse kkicked him
BreakEvenPlayer
11-09-2005, 07:06 PM
Chuck Norris sold a clone of himself to every nation in Europe, just in case the Germans ever decide to get crazy again.
Chuck Norris tells Santa Claus which kids have been good and bad around the world before each Christmas, and it takes all of his mental strength not to roundhouse kick the bad ones.
Blarg
11-09-2005, 07:22 PM
Chuck Norris was a doctoral student in sociology until academic politics sidelined the completion of his thesis on the effects of roundhouse kicks on orphans.
teamdonkey
11-09-2005, 08:02 PM
[ QUOTE ]
Vin Diesel is not lactose intolerant, he just refuses to put up with lactose's [censored].
[/ QUOTE ]
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