Would you have handled this differently? [Archive]

Talk2BigSteve

11-08-2005, 11:32 AM

In my program in college we are on the block schedule with 3-4 hours classes all at once.

Last Tuesday, we take our first break and half the students go outside for some fresh air, cigarettes, or just to shoot the bull.

The other half of the students and the Professor "Ms. D" stayed in the class.

About half way through the break I decided to return to the class.

As I am coming down the hall, I heard one of the students say my name in a conversation. This was followed by "Ms. D" making a derogatory gay comment about me. I turned the corner and glared at her and her jaw dropped. I guess she did not expect me to be back from break that early or whatever.

You could have heard a pin drop in that class. I walked over to my table picked up my books and turned to leave the class.

I then turned back to "Ms. D" and calmly said, "I expect an apology written on the college letter head; signed by you, and witnessed by the Head of the Department, the Dean of Student Affairs, and The President of the college, upon my return next week. Do I make myself clear?"

She about choked spitting out a soft "Yes."

Yesterday morning I arrived early and "Mr. W" the Department Head was waiting with my sealed letter.

He said that all of my objective works for the courses are to be turned into him for proper grading. I will have to attend an Academic/Discipline Review for "Ms. D" in January.

Big Steve /images/graemlins/cool.gif

La Brujita

11-08-2005, 11:33 AM

You handled this absolutely perfectly.

4_2_it

11-08-2005, 11:34 AM

It's always to see someone sticking it to the man,,,,errrr,,,,woman in this case.

Talk2BigSteve

11-08-2005, 11:39 AM

[ QUOTE ]
You handled this absolutely perfectly.

[/ QUOTE ]

I agree because I did not lose my cool and I put it on her to explain to the Head, Dean, and Pres, what she had done to royally screw up. Hence, probably recieving 3 major ass chewings as opposed to only the one I was prepared to give her.

Also I don't think Backwoods Redneck Community College really would want an ACLU/HRC protest on thier campus, to go along with the Murder, and Suicide they have already had this semester.

Big Steve /images/graemlins/cool.gif

diebitter

11-08-2005, 11:39 AM

Nice Work.

Unless Ms. D is hot, then you coulda done it much better /images/graemlins/wink.gif

11-08-2005, 11:40 AM

Dude, how are you so freaking level-headed?

You handled this perfectly.

Your read of the comment will determine how you approach the review meeting. Don't be vindictive, there is a place for forgiveness.

Was it a fairly innocent joke comment (Steve's really badly dressed for a gay man) or indicative of genuine prejudice (God hates Steve and it disgusts me having him in my class)?

MrTrik

11-08-2005, 11:41 AM

I call BS. But I am happy to see your visions of a gay hero movie coming to fruition. Keep it going.

Yeti

11-08-2005, 11:44 AM

This does seem a little too perfect. But, I'll take your word for it. Nice play.

Talk2BigSteve

11-08-2005, 11:45 AM

I am Level-Headed because I quit smoking and took up buddhist meditation and relaxation techniques. Honestly!

It was definately the second type comment.

I am not going to be vindictive, because now I have one of these in the big game!
http://www.etailgifts.com/images/Get%20Out%20of%20Jail.jpg

Big Steve /images/graemlins/cool.gif

JihadOnTheRiver

11-08-2005, 11:50 AM

I think you dealt with this one perfectly Steve. Was this MCC? I couldn't give that much leeway to those clowns. That school needs to be bulldozed.

Talk2BigSteve

11-08-2005, 11:51 AM

[ QUOTE ]
I call BS. But I am happy to see your visions of a gay hero movie coming to fruition. Keep it going.

[/ QUOTE ]

I am not a gay hero, just a big queer in Republican Bible Land.

Big Steve /images/graemlins/cool.gif

Vavavoom

11-08-2005, 11:52 AM

[ QUOTE ]
You handled this absolutely perfectly.

[/ QUOTE ]

U done goot !!

asofel

11-08-2005, 11:53 AM

[ QUOTE ]
I am Level-Headed because I quit smoking and took up buddhist meditation and relaxation techniques. Honestly!

It was definately the second type comment.

I am not going to be vindictive, because now I have one of these in the big game!
http://www.etailgifts.com/images/Get%20Out%20of%20Jail.jpg

Big Steve /images/graemlins/cool.gif

[/ QUOTE ]

hey Steve, nice job. The quitting smoking thing is still going well for you? I'd like to hear more about that, the meditation, etc. Sounds like your head is in a good place right now, and that's great.

BreakfastBurrito

11-08-2005, 11:54 AM

What did she say exactly? It would have to be something pretty vicious and hateful for me to take your response.

Flippant gay remarks are so common that in many cases I think they would be a case of Ms D just making a juvenile joke or being insensitive, and you'd be better served to just privately make sure it wouldn't happen again. It's hard for someone on the outside to understand how much crap like this you probably put up with though, and you were well within your rights to react the way you did. In fact I'm pretty impressed.

Talk2BigSteve

11-08-2005, 11:55 AM

Not MCC and yes "Harvard On The Hill" needs to be bulldozed.

You have a PM.

Big Steve /images/graemlins/cool.gif

Arnfinn Madsen

11-08-2005, 11:57 AM

Impressive! Very well played!

diebitter

11-08-2005, 11:58 AM

I think there's a touch of Jedi in all this. Did you have to restrain the temptation of a Force Choke?

Beer and Pizza

11-08-2005, 11:59 AM

Would the school act the same way if the teacher had criticised someone for being a Catholic, or a supporter of the Iraq War, or some other minority not embraced by the ACLU?

Big Steve should not face discrimination any more than any other minority (even those unpopular in the political correctness universe).

RunDownHouse

11-08-2005, 12:00 PM

Just curious, how did she know you were gay? Has it come up in class discussions or something?

Patrick del Poker Grande

11-08-2005, 12:01 PM

Well done, Steve. I'm sorry you have to deal with this kind of [censored].

Chobohoya

11-08-2005, 12:03 PM

moondogg

11-08-2005, 12:06 PM

[ QUOTE ]
Would the school act the same way if the teacher had criticised someone for being a Catholic, or a supporter of the Iraq War, or some other minority not embraced by the ACLU?

[/ QUOTE ]

Critizing and making derogatory or prejudicial remarks are not the same thing.

If someone criticized my support of the Iraq war, oh well, people disagree.

If someone made a derogatory remark about me for my belief in the Catholic faith, you're damn right they would get hell for it.

Beer and Pizza

11-08-2005, 12:07 PM

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Would the school act the same way if the teacher had criticised someone for being a Catholic, or a supporter of the Iraq War, or some other minority not embraced by the ACLU?

[/ QUOTE ]

You are an idiot.

[/ QUOTE ]

I guess you are not against discrimination of ALL minority groups regardless of whether they are politically correct or not. /images/graemlins/frown.gif

Duke

11-08-2005, 12:11 PM

Do you wear "I'm gay!" T-shirts or something?

~D

Beer and Pizza

11-08-2005, 12:11 PM

[ QUOTE ]
If someone made a derogatory remark about me for my belief in the Catholic faith, you're damn right they would get hell for it.

[/ QUOTE ]

I would hope so, but there are plenty of instances where the school administrators only act when faced with a threat of a lawsuit by the ACLU. It is culturally acceptable to discriminate against some groups.

Shajen

11-08-2005, 12:12 PM

[ QUOTE ]
Do you wear "I'm gay!" T-shirts or something?

~D

[/ QUOTE ]

I was wondering the same thing.

Are you "flaming" Steve, or did it come up in the course of conversation?

How did she and the class know you're gay?

Chobohoya

11-08-2005, 12:14 PM

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Would the school act the same way if the teacher had criticised someone for being a Catholic, or a supporter of the Iraq War, or some other minority not embraced by the ACLU?

[/ QUOTE ]

You are an idiot.

[/ QUOTE ]

I guess you are not against discrimination of ALL minority groups regardless of whether they are politically correct or not. /images/graemlins/frown.gif

[/ QUOTE ]

I am completely un PC. I voted for Bush and despite everything, I think we need to stay in Iraq. But when the hell was the last time someone was criticized for being Catholic? As for criticizing the Iraq war, if you can't mount a solid justification of it, then go cry on someone else's shoulder. If they won't listen to such a justification, then why do you care what gibberish comes out of their mouth-- the war's already going on, and their noise will never amount to anything.

As for your "point," don't pull this "oh i guess you don't support minorities /images/graemlins/frown.gif" BS. You make real conservatives look bad.

Talk2BigSteve

11-08-2005, 12:20 PM

[ QUOTE ]
What did she say exactly? It would have to be something pretty vicious and hateful for me to take your response.

[/ QUOTE ]

What she said exactly does not deserve the honor of being repeated, just know that it was way over the line for anyone to say, especially a professor.

I deal with it in stride. I have come to accept where it is in this world that I live and unfortunately for me that is Bible Belt Mississippi.

So just don't convert me and I won't convert you and we can get along just fine.

Big Steve /images/graemlins/cool.gif

diebitter

11-08-2005, 12:22 PM

[ QUOTE ]

So just don't convert me and I won't convert you and we can get along just fine.

Big Steve /images/graemlins/cool.gif

[/ QUOTE ]

Big Steve, you are immediately ok in my book!

I wish some of the world's a-holes would adopt that philosophy.

Vish

11-08-2005, 12:22 PM

Seems like an overreaction to me. Granted, she's a stupid bitch, but stupid bitches can believe and say what they like outside of class. If you had heard her say this in the grocery store, would you still expect an apology?

Also, a forced apology isn't an apology...so what does your line accomplish, exactly? Though it's probably best your assignments get graded by someone else now, that's the only good I see from this.

diebitter

11-08-2005, 12:23 PM

[ QUOTE ]
a forced apology isn't an apology...

[/ QUOTE ]

Yep. It's so much better /images/graemlins/grin.gif

dblgutshot

11-08-2005, 12:23 PM

This thread makes me wish I was gay.

Yeti

11-08-2005, 12:24 PM

[ QUOTE ]
Seems like an overreaction to me. Granted, she's a stupid bitch, but stupid bitches can believe and say what they like outside of class. If you had heard her say this in the grocery store, would you still expect an apology?

Also, a forced apology isn't an apology...so what does your line accomplish, exactly?

[/ QUOTE ]

Is this post meant to be taken seriously?

Chobohoya

11-08-2005, 12:25 PM

[ QUOTE ]
Also, a forced apology isn't an apology...so what does your line accomplish, exactly? Though it's probably best your assignments get graded by someone else now, that's the only good I see from this.

[/ QUOTE ]

He Pwned her in front of everyone, how is this not obvious?

Beer and Pizza

11-08-2005, 12:27 PM

[ QUOTE ]

I am completely un PC. I voted for Bush and despite everything, I think we need to stay in Iraq. But when the hell was the last time someone was criticized for being Catholic? As for criticizing the Iraq war, if you can't mount a solid justification of it, then go cry on someone else's shoulder. If they won't listen to such a justification, then why do you care what gibberish comes out of their mouth-- the war's already going on, and their noise will never amount to anything.

As for your "point," don't pull this "oh i guess you don't support minorities /images/graemlins/frown.gif" BS. You make real conservatives look bad.

[/ QUOTE ]

Real conservatives are against discrimination of all minorities, even the politically incorrect ones. Don't be a self-hating conservative just because you want the approval of the "in-crowd."

swede123

11-08-2005, 12:27 PM

[ QUOTE ]

So just don't convert me and I won't convert you and we can get along just fine.

[/ QUOTE ]

Steve:

Come on man, join our team! Girls are much softer than boys, I bet they're much more pleasant to kiss.

OK, conversion mode is off, good job showing this "lady" how things should be handled.

Swede

Chobohoya

11-08-2005, 12:29 PM

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]

I am completely un PC. I voted for Bush and despite everything, I think we need to stay in Iraq. But when the hell was the last time someone was criticized for being Catholic? As for criticizing the Iraq war, if you can't mount a solid justification of it, then go cry on someone else's shoulder. If they won't listen to such a justification, then why do you care what gibberish comes out of their mouth-- the war's already going on, and their noise will never amount to anything.

As for your "point," don't pull this "oh i guess you don't support minorities /images/graemlins/frown.gif" BS. You make real conservatives look bad.

[/ QUOTE ]

Real conservatives are against discrimination of all minorities, even the politically incorrect ones. Don't be a self-hating conservative just because you want the approval of the "in-crowd."

[/ QUOTE ]

And now I'm back where I started: You're an idiot.

Warik

11-08-2005, 12:30 PM

[ QUOTE ]
I then turned back to "Ms. D" and calmly said, "I expect an apology written on the college letter head; signed by you, and witnessed by the Head of the Department, the Dean of Student Affairs, and The President of the college, upon my return next week. Do I make myself clear?"

She about choked spitting out a soft "Yes."

[/ QUOTE ]

*bow*

MelK

11-08-2005, 12:31 PM

[ QUOTE ]

Steve:

Come on man, join our team! Girls are much softer than boys, I bet they're much more pleasant to kiss.

Swede

[/ QUOTE ]

You got to do better marketing. This requires pictures of what he is missing. /images/graemlins/grin.gif

Arnfinn Madsen

11-08-2005, 12:31 PM

Duke

11-08-2005, 12:32 PM

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Do you wear "I'm gay!" T-shirts or something?

~D

[/ QUOTE ]

I was wondering the same thing.

Are you "flaming" Steve, or did it come up in the course of conversation?

How did she and the class know you're gay?

[/ QUOTE ]

Exactly my point. I can't come up with a good reason for the teacher to know that Mr. Steve is gay.

I'm thinking that her comment was something like "Are you talking about the guy wearing nothing but chaps, a thong, and roller skates?" This was then followed by Steve rolling in wearing said chaps, thong, and roller skates.

I'm not saying that Steve should be hiding who he is, but it doesn't seem to be the sort of thing that a lot of people would have reason to know. Except this entire internet forum knows, and we don't even know who the hell he is. And probably everyone on every other forum he frequents. And a random teacher. And one of his employees. And...

~D

TheMainEvent

11-08-2005, 12:36 PM

[ QUOTE ]
Exactly my point. I can't come up with a good reason for the teacher to know that Mr. Steve is gay.

[/ QUOTE ]

I just assumed he had the gay "accent"

Beer and Pizza

11-08-2005, 12:38 PM

[ QUOTE ]
You contradict yourself completely. You state that no minorities should be discriminated, then you use the discrimination of some minorities to justify the discrimination of an other.

[/ QUOTE ]

I didn't advocate discriminating against anyone. Did you even read what I wrote?

RunDownHouse

11-08-2005, 12:39 PM

I beat all of you fuckers to that question.

There are plenty of good reasons for her to know, however. What if the class is a discussion course on the treatment of minorities in America? A class on civil rights and liberties? A course on the depiction of gays in the media?

There are lots of situations where homosexuality could have come up in discussion, and Steve offered a first-hand point of view to the class.

But then again, maybe that's not the case. Hence the question.

Talk2BigSteve

11-08-2005, 12:40 PM

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Do you wear "I'm gay!" T-shirts or something?

~D

[/ QUOTE ]

I was wondering the same thing.

Are you "flaming" Steve, or did it come up in the course of conversation?

How did she and the class know you're gay?

[/ QUOTE ]

How did the class know I was gay?

Great Question

This is the college that I got my AA degree from in Criminal Justice, I am now back getting certified in the Funeral Service Program.

Well Mrs. Gordon who is the Oral Communications teacher(Not a gay joke) loved the speaches that I gave in her class, on off the wall subjects like Tarot cards, and the History of the Condom, etc. We became good friends. Well this semester I stopped back by her office and she said there was a guy that she wanted me to meet from the theatre program. I did, his name is Johnathan, but what she did not know was that I already knew him and didn't like him. He is a Drag Queen named Miss Elaina and I am not into all that bull crap.

Well sometime back here in OOT I posted about doing an embalming and someone made a joke about SIIHP and rigor mortis locking it up like a chinese finger trap. I thought it was an extremely funny comment.

Well a week later he desides to "tour" the Funeral Program because he was thinking about joining it in spring.

Well up to this point no one in my classes knew I was gay, let's face it, I am not A&F or GQ material.

The class is out on break he walks out of the doors and we make eye contact.

He grins and says "Hey Gurrl!"

I look at him and say "Hey Miss Elaina, are you thinking about joining the Funeral Service Program?"

He said "I am thinking about it, it sounds fun."

I recalled my OOTinfo and replied "Why you can't [censored] them, rigor mortis sets in and locks that ass down like a chinese finger trap."

He got pissed and said "[censored] you!" and stormed off as only a mad gay queen can.

That is when the class found out I was gay. It was definately not from my clothing choices or my manorisms.

Big Steve /images/graemlins/cool.gif

Eurotrash

11-08-2005, 12:44 PM

[ QUOTE ]
Well sometime back here in OOT I posted about doing an embalming and someone made a joke about SIIHP and rigor mortis locking it up like a chinese finger trap. I thought it was an extremely funny comment.

[/ QUOTE ]

that was me, sweet

edit: hah, you used my finger trap line on a drag queen named Miss Elaina. what more can I ask for? ty, Big Steve.

MD2020

11-08-2005, 12:57 PM

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Would the school act the same way if the teacher had criticised someone for being a Catholic, or a supporter of the Iraq War, or some other minority not embraced by the ACLU?

[/ QUOTE ]

Critizing and making derogatory or prejudicial remarks are not the same thing.

If someone criticized my support of the Iraq war, oh well, people disagree.

If someone made a derogatory remark about me for my belief in the Catholic faith, you're damn right they would get hell for it.

[/ QUOTE ]

Sounds like something a no good Papist would say.

Chobohoya

11-08-2005, 12:59 PM

[ QUOTE ]
I recalled my OOTinfo and replied "Why you can't [censored] them, rigor mortis sets in and locks that ass down like a chinese finger trap."

He got pissed and said "[censored] you!" and stormed off as only a mad gay queen can.

[/ QUOTE ]

wow. that's awesome.

Talk2BigSteve

11-08-2005, 01:57 PM

An Overreaction? I think I handled myself more civilly than most people would have.

And a shallow I'm sorry would have have meant anything to me at that moment.

Big Steve /images/graemlins/cool.gif

astroglide

11-08-2005, 02:02 PM

i'd be very unsurprised if the various executive faculty sigs were forged

27offsuit

11-08-2005, 02:02 PM

Man, that's gay.

j/k

threeonefour

11-08-2005, 02:07 PM

i think you handled yourself fine more or less.

personally though, i think it is very weak to ever tell anyone that they need to apologize or you will give them hell. which seems like what was implied. makes the whole thing pretty empty.

Talk2BigSteve

11-08-2005, 02:10 PM

[ QUOTE ]
i'd be very unsurprised if the various executive faculty sigs were forged

[/ QUOTE ]

I am one step ahead of you!!!!

As previously stated, I already have an AA degree from here.

I took more online classes in the two years I was there than any other student on campus. The college had a multi location video conference with different colleges in the state and the Accreditation Board. I was asked by the dean of students to attend on behalf of the school and the students. He later gave me a hand written Thank You letter.

Signature is a Match.

I graduated from here with my AA in '03.

The President signature is on my degree.

Signature is a Match.

Big Steve /images/graemlins/cool.gif

astroglide

11-08-2005, 02:16 PM

'matches' can be traced and some people are experts at forgery (e.g. signing husbands checks)

Patrick del Poker Grande

11-08-2005, 02:19 PM

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
i'd be very unsurprised if the various executive faculty sigs were forged

[/ QUOTE ]

I am one step ahead of you!!!!

As previously stated, I already have an AA degree from here.

I took more online classes in the two years I was there than any other student on campus. The college had a multi location video conference with different colleges in the state and the Accreditation Board. I was asked by the dean of students to attend on behalf of the school and the students. He later gave me a hand written Thank You letter.

Signature is a Match.

I graduated from here with my AA in '03.

The President signature is on my degree.

Signature is a Match.

Big Steve /images/graemlins/cool.gif

[/ QUOTE ]
I think 'stamped' or 'digital representations' are the words we're looking for here.

Talk2BigSteve

11-08-2005, 02:26 PM

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
i'd be very unsurprised if the various executive faculty sigs were forged

[/ QUOTE ]

I am one step ahead of you!!!!

As previously stated, I already have an AA degree from here.

I took more online classes in the two years I was there than any other student on campus. The college had a multi location video conference with different colleges in the state and the Accreditation Board. I was asked by the dean of students to attend on behalf of the school and the students. He later gave me a hand written Thank You letter.

Signature is a Match.

I graduated from here with my AA in '03.

The President signature is on my degree.

Signature is a Match.

Big Steve /images/graemlins/cool.gif

[/ QUOTE ]
I think 'stamped' or 'digital representations' are the words we're looking for here.

[/ QUOTE ]

I was thinking that too might be a possibility but the Dean used a blue pen, and the rest were black. I know that doesn't prove a damn thing.

But....

All I really have to do is next Monday on Break go over to the dean's office and ask that a copy of the letter he signed last week be added to my permenant file. And if he questions me, well then I really got her in a world of crap.

Big Steve /images/graemlins/cool.gif