Toilet Habits

Continuing on the OOT bodily functions theme...

[pokerdirty]

someone should start a thread on the different names of poop. my fav is the birthday poop.

[diebitter]

Do you mean names for different types (eg 'the splat', 'the nutty sausage' etc), or just different names for it (eg turd, poopy, kaka etc)?

[pokerdirty]

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different types

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[samjjones]

We've done this poll in the past. This was how I found out I was in the VAST minority in my wiping technique.

I really don't want to bump a 2+ month old post, and I want some of the new blood (me) to participate.

[BoogerFace]

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someone should start a thread on the different names of poop. my fav is the birthday poop.

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Please eloborate.

[pokerdirty]

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someone should start a thread on the different names of poop. my fav is the birthday poop.

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Please eloborate.

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birthday poop = a poop that when you are finished, and you go to wipe, there is nothing there, making it almost like a present, because you don't have to wipe!

[miajag81]

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someone should start a thread on the different names of poop. my fav is the birthday poop.

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Please eloborate.

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birthday poop = a poop that when you are finished, and you go to wipe, there is nothing there, making it almost like a present, because you don't have to wipe!

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But you have to wipe in order to discover that there's nothing to wipe. Therein lies the paradox of the birthday poop.

[pokerdirty]

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someone should start a thread on the different names of poop. my fav is the birthday poop.

[/ QUOTE ]

Please eloborate.

[/ QUOTE ]

birthday poop = a poop that when you are finished, and you go to wipe, there is nothing there, making it almost like a present, because you don't have to wipe!

[/ QUOTE ]

But you have to wipe in order to discover that there's nothing to wipe. Therein lies the paradox of the birthday poop.

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In all seriousness though, I know when I've had a Bday poop. Don't even have to wipe. I'd say i'm correct around 92% of the time.

[Spladle Master]

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someone should start a thread on the different names of poop. my fav is the birthday poop.

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Please eloborate.

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birthday poop = a poop that when you are finished, and you go to wipe, there is nothing there, making it almost like a present, because you don't have to wipe!

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This is incorrect. The poop you describe is known as "The Immaculate One-Wipe."

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In all seriousness though, I know when I've had a Bday poop. Don't even have to wipe. I'd say i'm correct around 92% of the time.

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That's a nasty surprise when you're wrong...

[tonypaladino]

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someone should start a thread on the different names of poop. my fav is the birthday poop.

[/ QUOTE ]

Please eloborate.

[/ QUOTE ]

birthday poop = a poop that when you are finished, and you go to wipe, there is nothing there, making it almost like a present, because you don't have to wipe!

[/ QUOTE ]

But you have to wipe in order to discover that there's nothing to wipe. Therein lies the paradox of the birthday poop.

[/ QUOTE ]

Ahh, there's no better feeling than seeing the toilet paper come out white as newfallen snow.

[Los Feliz Slim]

Baby wipes. It's like a refreshing dip in a mountain stream, so cool and refreshing. Trust me.

I'm interested in the 2 people that use 1 square per wipe and the two people that do one wipe. How do you keep from getting brown hands/pants with either of these?

[stanky]

Even if it were as high as 99% I'd still do a feeler wipe.

So is there a name for the poop where you have to wipe like 30 times, those suck.

[chuddo]

my friends and i always called the one-clean wipe a "flawless dump".

one type that always pissed me off:
when you are about to get in the shower and you consult with your body to see if there is any need to crap and it doesn't feel like you do at all. then the second you get out and feel nice and fresh and clean, you have to go.

we never came up with a clever name for it. but it sucks. doubly because very rarely is it ever a flawless dump.

[JihadOnTheRiver]

I think that my least favorite dump is the one that comes after a high-output run. The one where about 1/2 a mile from the end you get the surge urge and have to actually slow down so that you don't shart yourself.

The reason it is so bad is not because of the discomfort. It is because once you do sprint up to your bathroom to get your dump on, you sit on the toilet and can not get proper ass cheek separation because you are sweating so much you keep sliding around. You run a serious risk of the disasterous "poop-on-the-side-of-your-ass" poop. And I think the sweat makes wiping harder.

[Hamish McBagpipe]

What's the name for the have to go again crap? I hate this. Like you get rid of a monstrous load, clean up, buckle up and realize you have to go again. And it usually ain't pretty. Maybe I need some more fiber, or at least quit trying to complete my movements in about 20 seconds flat.

[krazyace5]

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someone should start a thread on the different names of poop. my fav is the birthday poop.

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I think it was Eddie Murphy that did a skit on this before. Funny stuff.

[nomadtla]

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someone should start a thread on the different names of poop. my fav is the birthday poop.

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Please eloborate.

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birthday poop = a poop that when you are finished, and you go to wipe, there is nothing there, making it almost like a present, because you don't have to wipe!

[/ QUOTE ]
This is incorrect. The poop you describe is known as "The Immaculate One-Wipe."

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I had allways called it the "ghost poop"

[pokergrader]

Wow, I cannot believe this poll didn't ask-

How do you wipe:
- Sitting On the can
- Standing Up

I have heard some people get into vicious debate over this.

[Vavavoom]

No matter what the scenario....

I'm a scruncher not a folder...

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I had allways called it the "ghost poop"

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I think the ghost poop is when not only is there nothing on the paper, but the turd itself has somehow slid perfectly into the lower toilet pipe. You turn around and swear that you took a dump, but there's nothing there! That messes with my head.

[uw_madtown]

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Wow, I cannot believe this poll didn't ask-

How do you wipe:
- Sitting On the can
- Standing Up

I have heard some people get into vicious debate over this.

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Who the [censored] wipes standing up? /images/graemlins/confused.gif

[ChipWrecked]

[ QUOTE ]
Wow, I cannot believe this poll didn't ask-

How do you wipe:
- Sitting On the can
- Standing Up

I have heard some people get into vicious debate over this.

[/ QUOTE ]

I'm horrified to this day about all the sack-lifters here; exposed in a previous thread.

Re: the roll:

The paper goes hanging down the back, as anybody who has had cats and/or toddlers knows. When the offender strikes the roll in a downward motion, it doesn't unroll all over the place.

[uw_madtown]

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Re: the roll:

The paper goes hanging down the back, as anybody who has had cats and/or toddlers knows. When the offender strikes the roll in a downward motion, it doesn't unroll all over the place.

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That's a situational call, and definitely the right move. But for anyone who doesn't have pets/children, over provides easiest access so the decision in that case isn't close.

[Vavavoom]

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Who the [censored] wipes standing up?

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I don't think I have ever wiped sitting down...I'm not a woman hence why I stand up !

[Your Mom]

What [censored] guy wipes sitting down. I don't get that [censored].

[Sephus]

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What [censored] guy wipes sitting down. I don't get that [censored].

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[callydrias]

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someone should start a thread on the different names of poop. my fav is the birthday poop.

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I think it was Eddie Murphy that did a skit on this before. Funny stuff.

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Richard Pryor

[dcasper70]

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you sit on the toilet and can not get proper ass cheek separation because you are sweating so much you keep sliding around. You run a serious risk of the disasterous "poop-on-the-side-of-your-ass" poop. And I think the sweat makes wiping harder.

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I now have to clean beer off my monitor. /images/graemlins/grin.gif
That's some funny $hit!

[Jon34]

I've refered to this as an "aftersh!t"

[joeski19]

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What [censored] guy wipes sitting down. I don't get that [censored].

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I don't "sit" or "lean", but I don't stand completely upright either. But I guess it would be considered "standing". Now which one of you sickos wipes back to front?

[Ringo]

Using only one square per wipe runs too high a risk of "breaching the hull", IMO.

[CORed]

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Who the [censored] wipes standing up? /images/graemlins/confused.gif

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I do. I used to wipe sitting down, but now if I try my back cramps up. It sometimes happens when I do it standing, but not as bad. If I try to wipe sitting, I will get a painful cramp in the mid back below the shoulder blade very time. Not wiping at all is obviously not an option, so I do it standing.