How did you deal with life after college?

[mikeymer]

Maybe I am in the minority, but I have entered some pretty bad depression since graduating in May. I had a pretty active social life in school, and was always trying to have fun... plus obviously the girls were available.

Since school has ended, I've realized that my friends have moved to different parts of the country, my on again off again girlfriend has broken my heart yet again, I'm in a job that allows me to do nothing but think about how sad I am from the break up. I'm still living at home, as I am in debt to my parents for lawyer fees (another story), and I have to pay them back and THEN begin saving for a place.

All in all, [censored] ain't great, and there is nobody even at work that is my age who I could meet, no girls, nothing.

Has anybody else gone thru anything like this that could shed some light on what I should do? I feel like [censored].

[Homer]

If you come up with a solution, let me know. I've been feeling like this for 3-4 years.

[Lazymeatball]

There is already a whole forum for this (http://www.quarterlifecrisis.com/forums/)

ps. I think this seriously applies in this case.

[SackUp]

Go to grad school.

[Los Feliz Slim]

For a while (this was over 10 years ago), I tried drinking heavily every day. After about a year of that not working, I left everything I knew and/or owned and moved to a completely new city and started over from the ground up. That worked for me.

[InchoateHand]

Funny, I did something similar, only after the drinking heavily stage I moved to a completely new city and started drinking heavily every day.

[Oblivious]

try changing your job.

[_Kevin_]

[ QUOTE ]
Go to grad school.

[/ QUOTE ]

That's what I did. Only do it if you really want to get the degree. Don't do it to escape something else. It's hard work, pays very little, and cuts into what should be your life.

[Crveballin]

Around here there is a support group session every week. We meet at the bar.

[IndieMatty]

Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but there is no life after college.

[HopeydaFish]

Make new friends. Find a new girlfriend. Pay off your debts and move out of your parents' place. Not much more to it than that.

[4thstreetpete]

[ QUOTE ]
There is already a whole forum for this (http://www.quarterlifecrisis.com/forums/)

ps. I think this seriously applies in this case.

[/ QUOTE ]

For once, this is a genuine good response. Welcome to the real world, you're not alone. Although I do believe the experienced folks at QLC can give you much better advice than the people here of OOT. /images/graemlins/smile.gif

[TheMainEvent]

[ QUOTE ]
Maybe I am in the minority, but I have entered some pretty bad depression since graduating in May. I had a pretty active social life in school, and was always trying to have fun... plus obviously the girls were available.

Since school has ended, I've realized that my friends have moved to different parts of the country, my on again off again girlfriend has broken my heart yet again, I'm in a job that allows me to do nothing but think about how sad I am from the break up. I'm still living at home, as I am in debt to my parents for lawyer fees (another story), and I have to pay them back and THEN begin saving for a place.

All in all, [censored] ain't great, and there is nobody even at work that is my age who I could meet, no girls, nothing.

Has anybody else gone thru anything like this that could shed some light on what I should do? I feel like [censored].

[/ QUOTE ]

http://i.ivillage.com/entertainment/images/E_RealityTVLand_Boss_157.jpg

Welcome to my world

[mikeymer]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Maybe I am in the minority, but I have entered some pretty bad depression since graduating in May. I had a pretty active social life in school, and was always trying to have fun... plus obviously the girls were available.

Since school has ended, I've realized that my friends have moved to different parts of the country, my on again off again girlfriend has broken my heart yet again, I'm in a job that allows me to do nothing but think about how sad I am from the break up. I'm still living at home, as I am in debt to my parents for lawyer fees (another story), and I have to pay them back and THEN begin saving for a place.

All in all, [censored] ain't great, and there is nobody even at work that is my age who I could meet, no girls, nothing.

Has anybody else gone thru anything like this that could shed some light on what I should do? I feel like [censored].

[/ QUOTE ]

http://i.ivillage.com/entertainment/images/E_RealityTVLand_Boss_157.jpg

Welcome to my world

[/ QUOTE ]


That show was [censored] awesome, I wonder who the secret boss was.

[Dominic]

How do you deal?? Really?

I mean, I hate to sound heartless, but really, what fukin' choice do you have?

Deal or die.

[Aytumious]

"Get busy living or get busy dying"

[JihadOnTheRiver]

[ QUOTE ]
I am in debt to my parents for lawyer fees (another story)

[/ QUOTE ]

This is what OOT really cares about. Youll get over the other [censored].

[lighterjobs]

[ QUOTE ]
there is no life after college.

[/ QUOTE ]

[ThaSaltCracka]

bro, your feelings are completely common. Many of us have "early 20's depression". Mine didn't come from graduating school, it came from just feeling like I wasn't accomplishing anything, and that my life was passing me by. My advice, look for a new job, pick up some new hobbies. Hobbies that get you outdoor or active. Finally, come up with a plan that you want to do within 3 years. Focus yourself and drive for what you want to achieve.

[SoCalRugger]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Go to grad school.

[/ QUOTE ]

That's what I did. Only do it if you really want to get the degree. Don't do it to escape something else. It's hard work, pays very little, and cuts into what should be your life.

[/ QUOTE ]
Yeah, that pretty much sums it up.

[RunDownHouse]

[ QUOTE ]
For a while (this was over 10 years ago), I tried drinking heavily every day.

[/ QUOTE ]
I'm a couple years out from graduation, and so far this has been my choice. My health sucks, but I know the consequences of my actions and have accepted them. That's pretty much all that matters.

If your health coverage takes care of it, go see a shrink. They're trained to help with stuff like this, and you shouldn't be worried about any sort of stigma associated with seeing a psychiatrist.

[HopeydaFish]

The secret boss was a monkey. The monkey would spin a wheel to decide who would be fired every week.

[mikeymer]

[ QUOTE ]
The secret boss was a monkey. The monkey would spin a wheel to decide who would be fired every week.

[/ QUOTE ]

You have to be kidding me.


On a side note, thanks for the responses.

[Pyromaniac]

or the original likely source of that quote,

"He not busy being born is busy dying"

which I sort of like in relation to the OP's question. What do you want to be? Usually that's half the challenge right there...college prepares you (sometimes) to get a job, but not at all for how to live your life. Or how to even *decide* how to live your life.

Try reading Po Bronson's book "What Should I Do With My Life". It might help. (It might not. You don't have much to lose by reading it, though.)

[HopeydaFish]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
The secret boss was a monkey. The monkey would spin a wheel to decide who would be fired every week.

[/ QUOTE ]

You have to be kidding me.

[/ QUOTE ]

Nope, I wish I was. The show was pulled from the air after about 4 episodes, but Fox had the final episodes posted online for awhile a few months ago. I was curious as to how the "secret" was going to be revealed so I watched the last episode where the monkey-boss was revealed. They gave $350,000 to the winner, and $250,000 to the runner up, I believe. The winner was decided by having the monkey spin the wheel.

It's a wonder the show was cancelled. /images/graemlins/smile.gif

[ QUOTE ]
On a side note, thanks for the responses.

[/ QUOTE ]

No problem. Rest assured that what you're feeling is very normal. I went through the same thing about 7 or 8 years ago.

Do you play any sports? The turning point for my social life was when I started joining sports teams again. I met a ton of people, got out of the house, and made lots of new friends. I also got my current job through a guy on one of my teams. If I hadn't started playing sports again, I'd probably still be working the same crappy job I was 8 years ago.

[SittinOnDubsWGW]

[ QUOTE ]
Go to grad school.

[/ QUOTE ]

This is how I've come to deal with a similar situation.

[DMBFan23]

wtf I dont know where you guys moved to, but I've gotten exponentially more tail since college. True you replace class with work but you still go out and have a good time, and you actually have $ for once in your life.

EDIT: I'm 23

[IHateKeithSmart]

[ QUOTE ]
wtf I dont know where you guys moved to, but I've gotten exponentially more tail since college. True you replace class with work but you still go out and have a good time, and you actually have $ for once in your life.

EDIT: I'm 23

[/ QUOTE ]

Yeah, I think I'm also on the flipside WRT this situation. For me, graduating was a relief. In college, I was taking a full class load, plus working 2 jobs for a total of about 35-40 hours a week. Once I graduated, it was strictly 9-5 for a lot more money (comparatively, not in the grand scheme of things). I had nights and weekends to myself, which was a great feeling.

Anyhow, keep in mind that you've got plenty of time to figure things out. Seeking out advice and guidance from folks you trust who've been there before is always good. Don't be in too much of a rush to make any life-changing decisions. Have fun, meet new people, don't take yourself too seriously.

PS - I am now 29 and facing the big 3-0 milestone in a few months.

[BoogerFace]

I can relate, I had to live with my parents for a while after school and working with people who are twice your age and all have kids sucks.

You gotta work twice as hard to meet people. Get out more. Take a break from cards. Get some exercise.

Maybe you should see your MD to make sure that there isn't anything physically wrong with you.

[Superfluous Man]

[ QUOTE ]
Go to grad school and be a horrible slacker.

[/ QUOTE ]
FYP to reflect what I'm doing right now.

[turnipmonster]

I feel the same way. I worked nonstop (part time day job, school, playing gigs) in college and never had time for anything. I've had a much better time since college.

I think the OP should get involved in some activities (sports, habitat for humanity, hashing, whatever).

--turnipmonster

[Paluka]

It sounds like you guys who are miserable all went out and got jobs you don't like.

[RustedCorpse]

I don't know if I think that quarter life crisis thing is good. Generally when you have a problem like this or any depressed type thing you either a) go about solving it b) talk about it.

I would get out and try and meet new people, move, do
something nuts.

Use online sites to meet people, myspace, okcupid, yea it's corny and it's sometimes stupid, but it's an outlet to get a social life after you've graduated from your previous outlit.

Move: Maybe just take a couple months and try to live somewhere else? Personally I moved to Alaska for 3 months to take flying lessons, rented a place to finish that goal then made a decision to stay or move on. I moved on tried two more cities before staying where I am now.

Do something you wouldn't normally do. Take like some random course, sign up for some volunteer work, join some club. I took a random public speaking class when I was depressed earlier this year and it snapped me right out of it.


It sucks, but you sometimes just have to push through it and force something to happen.

[astroglide]

[ QUOTE ]
It sounds like you guys who are miserable all went out and got jobs you don't like.

[/ QUOTE ]

or didn't get jobs, or don't actually know what they like

[MyTurn2Raise]

Sympathies to you dude. I missed college so much, I never left. I still live in campus town for that very reason. Only occassionally am I the creepy 26 year old. I do find that 2 nights out a week is plenty for me now though.

You could move to a mid 20s type neighborhood (after you save some dough of course). In Illinois, many parts of the North side of Chicago are filled with people 25-35 and the scene is pretty cool.

[ISF]

For the first three years I just kept increasing my drug use. Then went to business school which saved two years. After that basically just gave up.

[PokerFink]

Move to Vegas or somewhere else with a social scene and lots of twenty somethings.

[Thythe]

[ QUOTE ]
It sounds like you guys who are miserable all went out and got jobs you don't like.

[/ QUOTE ]

Yes, this is what happened.

[arod15]

[ QUOTE ]
Maybe I am in the minority, but I have entered some pretty bad depression since graduating in May. I had a pretty active social life in school, and was always trying to have fun... plus obviously the girls were available.

Since school has ended, I've realized that my friends have moved to different parts of the country, my on again off again girlfriend has broken my heart yet again, I'm in a job that allows me to do nothing but think about how sad I am from the break up. I'm still living at home, as I am in debt to my parents for lawyer fees (another story), and I have to pay them back and THEN begin saving for a place.

All in all, [censored] ain't great, and there is nobody even at work that is my age who I could meet, no girls, nothing.

Has anybody else gone thru anything like this that could shed some light on what I should do? I feel like [censored].

[/ QUOTE ]

I felt the same way. I was depressed for quite sometime. As a minority myself, it was weird working with so few people of my ethnicity. I feel the best things to do are join groups, ABLE among others that include diversities. I feel the rest takes adjusting to. Now after nearly two years I am happy with my job. It is also nice to be financially independent. My best advice is give it some time and put a lot of effort into your carrer. I feel setting high career goals helps you get past. I dont think there will ever be another time like college, I was blessed to have it, now its my duty to work hard and return the favor to my children. Good luck.....

[ftball0000]

I felt the same way, until I moved out from home. Then everything turned around.... so MOVE OUT and HAVE FUN!