03-21-2002, 11:03 AM
Me and Ripdog are going to go into business. We're going to make billions of dollars, and be bigger that Citicorp inside a year. How will we do this? Well, we'll take advantage of the fact that the United States has about 100 million women, 30 million blacks, and more old people than you could shake a stick at, and just perform a little arbitrage.
First of all, we know there's all these black people who can make payments just as well as anybody else, but who can't get home loans. And we know that there's all these women who are getting paid only half as much to do the same work as men. And there's all these retirees with money to invest, and they'll give it to whomever produces the highest returns to manage.
So what we'll do is we'll take those 30 million black people - we won't lend money to anybody but black people - and we'll charge them a tenth of a basis point in interest more than anyone else is getting lending to white people (including white Hispanics, and white Asians). And they'll pay it, because we'll have a monopoly, there won't, by definition, be any other place for them to go!
We'll have no competition or, if anybody does compete with us for some group of customers, we'll forget those customers, and just focus on the ones who are being passed up for purely racist and non-financial reasons, and are being handed to us. So we'll have a higher return on capital than any other major financial institution in the nation right off, an insuperable built-in edge! Heck, we'll branch out into insurance and credit cards too!
Next, we take this fundamental ROE edge, and we leverage it, by just hiring women, our workforce will be 100% female. By paying them just a little more than half what we would have to pay men - if we were dumb enough to hire men at double the wage just because they pee standing up - we could attract more than enough women to fill every position. Heck, we could pay them 98% of what other companies are dumb enough to pay men, and we'd still end up with about 200 times the profits of any other corporation in the country, given how slim, and how close to insolvency, most companies' profit margins are!
Heck Enron could have completely restructured and returned to profitability if they had just fired all the men, and replaced them with women doing the same work at half the price! Who could compete with such a company!? So how 'bout it, Ripdog, are you in?
eLROY
First of all, we know there's all these black people who can make payments just as well as anybody else, but who can't get home loans. And we know that there's all these women who are getting paid only half as much to do the same work as men. And there's all these retirees with money to invest, and they'll give it to whomever produces the highest returns to manage.
So what we'll do is we'll take those 30 million black people - we won't lend money to anybody but black people - and we'll charge them a tenth of a basis point in interest more than anyone else is getting lending to white people (including white Hispanics, and white Asians). And they'll pay it, because we'll have a monopoly, there won't, by definition, be any other place for them to go!
We'll have no competition or, if anybody does compete with us for some group of customers, we'll forget those customers, and just focus on the ones who are being passed up for purely racist and non-financial reasons, and are being handed to us. So we'll have a higher return on capital than any other major financial institution in the nation right off, an insuperable built-in edge! Heck, we'll branch out into insurance and credit cards too!
Next, we take this fundamental ROE edge, and we leverage it, by just hiring women, our workforce will be 100% female. By paying them just a little more than half what we would have to pay men - if we were dumb enough to hire men at double the wage just because they pee standing up - we could attract more than enough women to fill every position. Heck, we could pay them 98% of what other companies are dumb enough to pay men, and we'd still end up with about 200 times the profits of any other corporation in the country, given how slim, and how close to insolvency, most companies' profit margins are!
Heck Enron could have completely restructured and returned to profitability if they had just fired all the men, and replaced them with women doing the same work at half the price! Who could compete with such a company!? So how 'bout it, Ripdog, are you in?
eLROY