im tired of living

i am real sad. i just dont want to live anymore. i dont care about my future. i always think about dying, but not killing myself. it sucks bcuz im only 20 and there are a lot of people that care about me. im a nice and caring person and i would never do something like that to my family. i have too many problems to even list. i know i would be happy if i could get a beautiful girlfriend. but that will never happen i just know it. i am actually good looking. just my face, not my body. actually im not, i look like some little [censored] boy i think. my body isnt that great, but i know i could easily get laid, but i dont want that, i want to be in love with a really sweet girl. but im real quiest and shy and im probly boring, they wouldnt like me. i was out of my depression a couple years ago and i fell in love with this girl and she just wasnt interested in me at all. and that just really really hurt me. its one thing for some hot slut to not like you, but when a sweet girl like her dont like u, then it just hurts. i feel like im nothing. they are all pressuring me to get a job and i really dont want to. i dont care about money. i feel bad for costing my family money but i really do not want to work.im sad and i cant pretend to be happy and nobody would hire me anyways. plus i dont have enough enery and i am always sleeping at different hours. im so sad that im lookin for replies on an internet forum to feel better. i really dont want to tell anyone in my family that i just dont care about life and i want to die. i just pretend to be normal. nothing makes me happy. mmaybe once in a while i will be in an ok mood. im kind of happy when i play poker. and i think i am very good at it. but after about an hour i just dont care about money and i practically give it away... i have lost hundreds of dollars from just going all in b4 the flop every hand... for $50 to $100 bucks in front of me. im sorry for this stupid post. im just real sad. girls make me sad, so there better not be any woman coming in here saying YSSCKY... why do people say that anyways??? it is not funny at all. people love me and i think my parents would go insane if i did that. im sorry if nobody can read this. i didnt even go to highschool. i feel really stupid for posting this btw. i have aquestion. i knwo theres not a lot of women on here. do girls really like someone for their insides? i have a lot of good qualities, but i think they dont even matter. and what is that suicide hotline.com??? do u go chat with somebody there? i dont know if any mods can get my phone number or address from my IP or whatever, but just dont try to call or write some letter or something to my address trtying to tell someone i want to die. that will cause even more stress. i dont know if i said this, but im too lazy to scroll up, i feel really stupid for writting this. i will probably regret writting this for some reason.

[B Dids]

So, who's gonna say it, somebody has to, right?

[jdl22]

Looks like he already has /images/graemlins/frown.gif

[MrTrik]

[ QUOTE ]
So, who's gonna say it, somebody has to, right?

[/ QUOTE ]

I think he is already considering.

[InchoateHand]

YSSCFABGAOCAHASAP <font color="white"> You should seriously consider finding a better Gimmick Account or calling a helpline as soon as possible </font>
<font color="red"> Don't be histrionic. Girls like to monopolize that characteristic </font>

[asofel]

[ QUOTE ]
So, who's gonna say it, somebody has to, right?

[/ QUOTE ]

Say what? I have no idea what you're talking about!? /images/graemlins/confused.gif

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
So, who's gonna say it, somebody has to, right?

[/ QUOTE ]

Say what? I have no idea what you're talking about!? /images/graemlins/confused.gif

[/ QUOTE ]

I'm sorry, is this sarcasm? I just can't tell.

[astroglide]

http://talkleft.com/mellencamp.jpg

life goes on - long after the thrill of living is gone

[asofel]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
So, who's gonna say it, somebody has to, right?

[/ QUOTE ]

Say what? I have no idea what you're talking about!? /images/graemlins/confused.gif

[/ QUOTE ]

I'm sorry, is this sarcasm? I just can't tell.

[/ QUOTE ]

No, definitely not sarcastic.

http://i29.photobucket.com/albums/c261/fckinworthless/censored.jpg

Well that didn't take long.

Hey, whoever just banned my account for no reason... thanks

[FouTight]

Your tired of living?

swell...

I'm tired of reading, ever hear of the enter key?

[IronDragon1]

welcome back/goodbye shawn_p

[ QUOTE ]
http://i29.photobucket.com/albums/c261/fckinworthless/censored.jpg

Well that didn't take long.

[/ QUOTE ]

and what does that mean?

[naphinfitos]

Tbach?

[InchoateHand]

It means you don't need enzyte, because you, like bob, have a huge monster meat rod!

[B Dids]

So you want to die, but you still care enough to bitch about being banned?

[tdarko]

tl;dr

[InchoateHand]

http://www.liberation-mag.org.uk/skinned.jpg

http://www.herpetologicalbreedingresearch.com/images/r15.jpg

http://yajairasspecial.tripod.com/assets/twelve.jpg

[Mason Hellmuth]

[ QUOTE ]
im sad and i cant pretend to be happy and nobody would hire me anyways. plus i dont have enough enery and i am always sleeping at different hours.

[/ QUOTE ]
You should see a doctor. I'm not really talking about a shrink here either -- there are a lot of things that can be chronically wrong with your body to make you feel this way.

[ QUOTE ]
i didnt even go to highschool.

[/ QUOTE ]
This was a tremendously huge, terrible mistake.

[RunDownHouse]

OP: Try graduating from high school before you off yourself.

Dids: You got a laugh out of me with that one. Nice.

[tdarko]

if you are going to end it...here is a decent list of music you can choose from to end it to. suicide music (http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/showthreaded.php?Cat=0&amp;Number=3829856&amp;page=0)

[Klepton]

post under your real name and this thread will get much more interesting

[lighterjobs]

You might not think this now, but a hooker will probably make you feel better.

[pudley4]

You guys are really slipping.

Here (http://www.quarterlifecrisis.com/forums), you'll thank us later.

[protocol]

[ QUOTE ]
http://i29.photobucket.com/albums/c261/fckinworthless/censored.jpg


[/ QUOTE ]

So this post says 5:36 in the Central Time Zone? I don't know why I am just realizing this now. For some reason I guess I just always assumed that everyone saw the forum in Eastern time.

Was there a setting when we signed up for what time zone we wanted displayed?

[B Dids]

It's trickier than that. You have to set how many hours you're offset from the server time.

[tdarko]

[ QUOTE ]
I don't know why I am just realizing this now. For some reason I guess I just always assumed that everyone saw the forum in Eastern time.


[/ QUOTE ]
imagine that, someone from the NE thinking the world revolves around them /images/graemlins/smirk.gif.

[AngryCola]

Choose your time offset here (http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/editdisplay.php?Cat=0)

[theweatherman]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I don't know why I am just realizing this now. For some reason I guess I just always assumed that everyone saw the forum in Eastern time.


[/ QUOTE ]
imagine that, someone from the NE thinking the world revolves around them /images/graemlins/smirk.gif.

[/ QUOTE ]

I always thought it was in eastern too. strange

[B00T]

Fine it was me. You guys hurt my feelings today. /images/graemlins/crazy.gif

Why was he banned? Is it against the rules to talk about killing yourself?

[Bascule]

Posting in OOT is not a good idea. A better idea would be to mail jo@samaritans.org . This is a UK organisation, but I'm sure they'll refer you to an equivalent US service if they aren't prepared to talk to you themselves.

[Mars357]

I swear, if I have to read one more suicide thread I'm going to kill myself!

[[censored]]

If he dies,.. he dies.

http://www.gmrmedia.com/dolph/gallery/folder6/rocky06.jpg

[shawn_p]

Chill out.

[shawn_p]

[ QUOTE ]
welcome back/goodbye shawn_p

[/ QUOTE ]

You've never been more wrong.

[ QUOTE ]
Why was he banned? Is it against the rules to talk about killing yourself?

[/ QUOTE ]
chance of this being non-serious &gt; chance of this being serious

[theweatherman]

you can still post after you've been banned? i thought the whole point was to keep the person out of the forum.

Pleeeze...make an appointment and go see a good psychiatrist...NOT a psychologist...make sure it is a psychiatrist you see! A good psychiatrist can write a prescription that will help balance whatever is chemically wrong in your body. Also, have you ever considered wrestling with a slightly older woman (hint hint) as a sexy diversion from feeling sad? Seriously, please, sir, see a psychiatrist ASAP...and, yes, many women care about what is on the inside. Really! -A Very Gentle Hug From A Very Strong Woman. -Sharon. /images/graemlins/ooo.gif

[ClassicBob]

[ QUOTE ]
Chill out.

[/ QUOTE ]

This post rules.

[Larimani]

You sound like you need professional help. As another poster said, there might be a physiological problem to your depression. Depression is a treatable condition. Don't live your life in misery and pain. Seek professional help (GP, psychiatrist)

All the other problems you are talking about (including girls) is probably stemming from your depressive condition. This is what you need to tackle. Not many girls are interested in someone who is always sad and who feels like he wants to die. Once your depression is sorted, things will start getting better. You're only 20, you have many year that have the potential to be happy years in front of you. Have the courage to seek help; seeking help is not a sign of failure, but a sign of wanting to change and bravery to address your problems.

Good luck.


Side note: I can't believe some posters show such a lack of empathy.

[AdamL]

Hi,

See a doctor, and read "Till We Have Faces" by C.S. Lewis, if you can.

Your life is important, and this chapter is important too. Suffering is just as much a way of growing and living as any other experience. Indeed, it can be the most powerful. You letting go of the things that used to "keep you going" in life is actually part of your realization of freedom. The door is only just opening... Keep going.

[MrTrik]

[ QUOTE ]
I swear, if I have to read one more suicide thread I'm going to kill myself!

[/ QUOTE ]

There should be another rule for OOT:

10. If you commit to committing suicide and do not follow through, you will be banned.

/images/graemlins/cool.gif

[RunDownHouse]

[ QUOTE ]
Your life is important

[/ QUOTE ]
Says who? Newsflash, hippie: not everybody's life is precious, and not everyone deserves to live. If he's seriously considering suicide, chances are his life isn't worth much anyways.

[pokerdirty]

[ QUOTE ]
i dont know if any mods can get my phone number or address from my IP or whatever, but just dont try to call or write some letter or something to my address trtying to tell someone i want to die

[/ QUOTE ]

a little help from the greens would be nice here /images/graemlins/grin.gif

[jakethebake]

You're 20. You're young. Young people are emotional. They get depressed easily. Wait a few years. A pleasant kind of numbness will envelope you for the rest of your life and you won't worry about any of this crap anymore.

[lufbradolly]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Your life is important

[/ QUOTE ]
Says who? Newsflash, hippie: not everybody's life is precious, and not everyone deserves to live. If he's seriously considering suicide, chances are his life isn't worth much anyways.

[/ QUOTE ]

Your a dick i knew i shouldn't have read this forum.

[TheMainEvent]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Your life is important

[/ QUOTE ]
Says who? Newsflash, hippie: not everybody's life is precious, and not everyone deserves to live. If he's seriously considering suicide, chances are his life isn't worth much anyways.

[/ QUOTE ]

I disagree. The most truly worthless people that I've met never seemed to feel too badly about themselves and probably never contemplated suicide.

[gulebjorn]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I swear, if I have to read one more suicide thread I'm going to kill myself!

[/ QUOTE ]

There should be another rule for OOT:

10. If you commit to committing suicide and do not follow through, you will be banned.

/images/graemlins/cool.gif

[/ QUOTE ]

Shouldn't this be: If you commit to suicide and don't follow up...?

[tomdemaine]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Your life is important

[/ QUOTE ]
Says who? Newsflash, hippie: not everybody's life is precious, and not everyone deserves to live. If he's seriously considering suicide, chances are his life isn't worth much anyways.

[/ QUOTE ]

I disagree. The most truly worthless people that I've met never seemed to feel too badly about themselves and probably never contemplated suicide.

[/ QUOTE ]

Exactly, I know 1000's of worthless people and they all love themselves. Bastards.

[gulebjorn]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Your life is important

[/ QUOTE ]
Says who? Newsflash, hippie: not everybody's life is precious, and not everyone deserves to live. If he's seriously considering suicide, chances are his life isn't worth much anyways.

[/ QUOTE ]

I disagree. The most truly worthless people that I've met never seemed to feel too badly about themselves and probably never contemplated suicide.

[/ QUOTE ]

I hope you pointed out the error in their thinking?

[RunDownHouse]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Your life is important

[/ QUOTE ]
Says who? Newsflash, hippie: not everybody's life is precious, and not everyone deserves to live. If he's seriously considering suicide, chances are his life isn't worth much anyways.

[/ QUOTE ]

I disagree. The most truly worthless people that I've met never seemed to feel too badly about themselves and probably never contemplated suicide.

[/ QUOTE ]
So you disagree with "If he's seriously considering suicide, chances are his life isn't worth much anyways," and not, "not everybody's life is precious, and not everyone deserves to live," correct?

[AdamL]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Your life is important

[/ QUOTE ]
Says who? Newsflash, hippie: not everybody's life is precious, and not everyone deserves to live. If he's seriously considering suicide, chances are his life isn't worth much anyways.

[/ QUOTE ]

Either all our lives have meaning, or none of them do. There is a quotation from C.S. Lewis's book "The Silver Chair" that might be relevant.

Puddleglum to the Queen of the 'Underworld' at dinner:

"Suppose we have only dreamed, or made up, all those things-trees and grass and sun and moon and stars and Aslan himself. Suppose we have. Then all I can say is that, in that case, the made-up things seem a good deal more important than the real ones. Suppose this black pit of a kingdom of yours is the only world. Well, it strikes me as a pretty poor one. And that's a funny thing, when you come to think of it. We're just babies making up a game, if you're right. But four babies playing a game can make a play-world which licks your real world hollow. That's why I'm going to stand by the play-world. I'm on Aslan's side even if there isn't any Aslan to lead it. I'm going to live as like a Narnian as I can even if there isn't any Narnia."

So far as your comment that some people deserve to die, indeed they do. But not the ones you probably think, which is lucky for you -- it's not your call.

[InchoateHand]

So Christian Dogma Kiddie Books reveal the truth to you? Please join the OP.

[jakethebake]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Your life is important

[/ QUOTE ]
Says who? Newsflash, hippie: not everybody's life is precious, and not everyone deserves to live. If he's seriously considering suicide, chances are his life isn't worth much anyways.

[/ QUOTE ]

Either all our lives have meaning, or none of them do. There is a quotation from C.S. Lewis's book "The Silver Chair" that might be relevant.

[/ QUOTE ]

Well if it's in a sci-fi book written for children it must be true.

[pokerdirty]

cnfuzzd? (http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/showflat.php?Cat=0&amp;Board=exchange&amp;Number=3850517&amp;p age=0&amp;fpart=1)

[jakethebake]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Your life is important

[/ QUOTE ]
Says who? Newsflash, hippie: not everybody's life is precious, and not everyone deserves to live. If he's seriously considering suicide, chances are his life isn't worth much anyways.

[/ QUOTE ]

I disagree. The most truly worthless people that I've met never seemed to feel too badly about themselves and probably never contemplated suicide.

[/ QUOTE ]
So you disagree with "If he's seriously considering suicide, chances are his life isn't worth much anyways," and not, "not everybody's life is precious, and not everyone deserves to live," correct?

[/ QUOTE ]

I'm with you 100%.

[AdamL]

To Jake and the other fellow who asked about "truth":

The quotation wasn't a statement of truth, it was a statement of opinion from one of the characters. The whole point was that the truth wasn't known. That a choice needed to be made, one way or the other -- is life important or meaningless?

The true answer to that won't come from the quotation, but the choices are fairly clearly outlined.

PS -- Fairy tales are not only for the very young. You can grow up enough to return to them.

[InchoateHand]

Okay, I think I get it now--I get to choose, right? Your life is meaningless.

[AdamL]

[ QUOTE ]
Okay, I think I get it now--I get to choose, right? Your life is meaningless.

[/ QUOTE ]

You get to choose.

[jakethebake]

[ QUOTE ]
To Jake and the other fellow who asked about "truth":

The quotation wasn't a statement of truth, it was a statement of opinion from one of the characters. The whole point was that the truth wasn't known. That a choice needed to be made, one way or the other -- is life important or meaningless?

The true answer to that won't come from the quotation, but the choices are fairly clearly outlined.

PS -- Fairy tales are not only for the very young. You can grow up enough to return to them.

[/ QUOTE ]

Excuse me while I go find someplace to throw up.

[Sephus]

[ QUOTE ]
Well if it's in a sci-fi book written for children it must be true.

[/ QUOTE ]

if you thought he meant that everything written in that book must be true, that's some poor reading comprehension.

[jakethebake]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Well if it's in a sci-fi book written for children it must be true.

[/ QUOTE ]

if you thought he meant that everything written in that book must be true, that's some poor reading comprehension.

[/ QUOTE ]

uh, no. however, i'm pretty sure quoting children's books is not the best way to make pretty much any point.

[Sephus]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Well if it's in a sci-fi book written for children it must be true.

[/ QUOTE ]

if you thought he meant that everything written in that book must be true, that's some poor reading comprehension.

[/ QUOTE ]

uh, no. however, i'm pretty sure quoting children's books is not the best way to make pretty much any point.

[/ QUOTE ]

is sarcastically refuting a premise that you admittedly know that the other person didn't even use a better way to make a point?

(edited for clarity)

[jakethebake]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Well if it's in a sci-fi book written for children it must be true.

[/ QUOTE ]

if you thought he meant that everything written in that book must be true, that's some poor reading comprehension.

[/ QUOTE ]

uh, no. however, i'm pretty sure quoting children's books is not the best way to make pretty much any point.

[/ QUOTE ]

is better way to make a point to sarcastically refute a premise that you admittedly know that the other person didn't even use?

[/ QUOTE ]

your post had nothing to do with anything. he tried to make a stupid point using a stupid quote. this has nothing to do with whether he meant "everything" written in the book is true. You're pretty much the worst debater ever, and I'm not going to respond to this anymore because you're just being an idiot.

[Sephus]

good idea. you don't even know what's going on.

[AdamL]

Substance matters. All the rest of this about Narnia not being "fit" for quoting is nonsense. Either something has substance or it doesn't. The Narnia series is packed full of it.

&lt;-------

YSSRKY

[cnfuzzd]

[ QUOTE ]
cnfuzzd? (http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/showflat.php?Cat=0&amp;Board=exchange&amp;Number=3850517&amp;p age=0&amp;fpart=1)

[/ QUOTE ]

no. while i am tired of living, thats more an impetus for doing the things i do, and not so much for killing myself.

peace

john nickle