Tips for playing without ego

While playing online, I find myself in tournaments and cash games alike always raising or calling when I shouldn't, because I get into hands and just can't let go of them. I get to where I think someone is always bluffing me or trying to steal my blinds. I try to outplay people too often and it is very very -EV.

I was just wondering what some of you do to check your ego at the door when you step in to a poker game.

Any help at all will be greatly appreciated.

[revots33]

You might want to try reading Zen and the Art of Poker.

[Bosox]

Learn to hate your hand. Then it's easy to fold.

[SoloAJ]

[ QUOTE ]
Learn to hate your hand. Then it's easy to fold.

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Easiest way to do this is go on a losing streak. I tend to always hate my hand after one of those.. /images/graemlins/wink.gif

[SoloAJ]

[ QUOTE ]
You might want to try reading Zen and the Art of Poker.

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What is the goal of this book? I hear it rec'd all of the time, but I don't know what you get out of it. Does it help you with patience mostly or what?

I think the most important thing you need to work on is seperating results from gameplay. Concentrate on making the correct decision all the time, not whether or not you win a pot or whether or not a particular opponent is winning. For your next session, play exactly 50 hands (no more, no less) and for those 50 hands, concentrate on making the correct decision every time.

EDIT: If this problem is occurring only online (and not offline), then take more time (more specifically, the exact same amount of time) for each one of those 50 decisions. Playing online typically results in making hasty decisions; it becomes much easier to make a bad decision when you are under pressure for time.

[revots33]

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What is the goal of this book? I hear it rec'd all of the time, but I don't know what you get out of it. Does it help you with patience mostly or what?

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Zen and the Art of Poker uses the theories of Zen to help improve your psychological game. It has some very good advice for separating your ego from the game, and for staying detached and calm (zenlike) during bad swings. I found it helpful, YMMV.

[deacsoft]

I'll add my two cents to some of the other good advice.

I've been playing for a living for about two years now and the way I get away from ego is part natural and part ego. the natural part is that I've gotten a little older and things like "being better than that guy" or "beating this guy" don't concern me anymore. I just want to play to the best of my abilities. The mental part is that I know I'm still learning. I know I'm not the best, but I continue to strive to get better every day. There are tons of people out there that will wipe the floor with me on a poker table. So I myself... "deacsoft, you play for a living but you're not a pro... you're a student of the game". There's no room for ego in the game and learning process of a student.

[SNOWBALL138]

I found that once I became a winning player, my ego became less important at the poker table. I'm not sure the best way to battle your ego if you are currently a losing player.

One way might be to make a conscious effort to respect your opponents. If you are outplayed or sucked out on, say "nice hand," instead of thinking "wow, he's an idiot and I'm better than him."

OTOH, I'm purposely very humble in most aspects of my life because I spent a good amount of time being active in a communist political group that basically requires that. Also, I had a career as a full-time labor organizer which also helped to teach me humility.

So, part of it is just life experience, but a big part of it is making the decision.

[Lash]

This is a brilliantly formulated cry for help.

You need to step into the game realizing that the decisions that lay before you are the most important.

When the hand begins, the cards you are dealt are meaningless.

Every hand you are dealt presents you with decisions. Nothing is absolute, until the pot has been claimed.

Do I have a big enough hand to call/raise the flat-track bully's standard pot-sized bet after a flop?

How good are my AAs, after a lot of action pre-flop, and a flop of K, Q, 10?

Villian just pushed after a river card that can't conceiveably help him. Has he been slow-playing, or is he bluffing a busted draw?

Decisions like these, and the simple, mundane ones we all take for granted, are what this game is about.

We are all dealt X% of winning hands, and X% of 2nd best hands. The key is recognize which is which.

In the K, Q, 10 example, for instance, a skilled player with AA would recognize that if there were a ton of action preflop, and 3 people made the flop, then he's almost drawing dead now. The man that throws away the AA doesn't make any money, but he's lost a lot less than a breakeven player would have. He's nullified a 2nd best hand that could potentially cost him the money he'd earned with several wins previously.

Folding a 2nd best hand before it hits your stack is more important than the hands you win. Because even a fish gets the nuts from time to time, but a fish can't conceive the notion of laying down a straight when there's a flush possibility on the table. That's right, it's folding that makes you money.

Being unable to throw a hand away happens when you say to yourself, "Finally, it's my turn to win one!" And we start counting our chickens before they've hatched. I know every time I've lost my stack in one hand, it's because I've fallen into that trap. It only takes a second to lose focus, and your buyin along with it.

So in short; Nothing is absolute, the cards are meaningless. 72 can win. AA can lose. Just read the story the cards are telling you, and make the +EV decision.

Done.



I'm no guru, or even very good, I'm simply a reasonable player. I'm still learning every session. I may, in fact, be full of it, or maybe not. You decide.

[diebitter]

I imagine what the result would be if I played the hand at that point a million times, and whether I think I'd win overall or not.

Some people here have mentioned The Zen of Poker. I also recommend The Tao of Poker, by the same author.

The best suggestion I have for eliminating ego while playing poker is to change the focus from the other players to yourself. Don't think of the game as one in which you must beat others, but rather a challenge of self to see if you can play the most perfect game your abilities allow.

Look at each hand as a series of decisions. Your opponents are nothing more than tips and guideposts in this decision making process. Don't read your opponent, read his actions and history. It isn't about him. It's about you.

Most importantly you need to get in tune with what your inner voice tells you to do. How many times have you called a bet or unwisely bluffed into a strong hand when you just KNEW that this was the incorrect play? A lot, I bet. Me, too. We all do it. This is because your focus has shifted to something other than making the correct decision at every step of the process. Identify where you have strayed (anger, impatience, hubris) and make the necessary mental adjustment.

Hope this helps.

[ellipse_87]

The place I'm trying to get to is just to remember that it's all about cash flow, and nothing else. If you feel like you're being challenged, you have no time to try and be dominant, because you are engaged in a different project--the project of generating cash flow to fund your life. There's no sense in pursuing that project unless you can be entirely focused on it. So you might respond psychologically just by saying to yourself, "If I had time to really unload on these losers, I would completely embarrass them--lucky for them I'm too busy working."

I dunno, that might sound like crap actually. Still working on it.

[vexvelour]

I agree with revots- Zen is a great book.

You just have to be realistic with yourself. Thats really what it comes down to. I have altered my poker readings so that I take a second to make my decision- it's really hard for spur-of-the-moment people to get used to. Trust me though...it'll save you so much.

Really, esp tourney here, you have to assess the situation (as Dane Cook would say) and do some sacrificing. I really don't give a [censored] if someone if bluffing me out of a pot- I give it to them and get them some other time. Maybe my game is flawed, but I'm a winning SNG player.

[SpeakEasy]

Check your emotions at the door. Play aggressively to win, and focus exclusively on making the correct decision every time its you turn to act in every hand. But detach your emotions from the outcome of each hand and the overall game.

If you are naturally competitive, this takes practice, because a competitive personality naturally becomes emotionally involved in a game and the outcome. You have to walk into the poker room with the mindset of emotionally detaching from the game, and focus exclusively on your decisions.

[smurfitup]

[ QUOTE ]
Some people here have mentioned The Zen of Poker. I also recommend The Tao of Poker, by the same author.

The best suggestion I have for eliminating ego while playing poker is to change the focus from the other players to yourself. Don't think of the game as one in which you must beat others, but rather a challenge of self to see if you can play the most perfect game your abilities allow.

Look at each hand as a series of decisions. Your opponents are nothing more than tips and guideposts in this decision making process. Don't read your opponent, read his actions and history. It isn't about him. It's about you.

Most importantly you need to get in tune with what your inner voice tells you to do. How many times have you called a bet or unwisely bluffed into a strong hand when you just KNEW that this was the incorrect play? A lot, I bet. Me, too. We all do it. This is because your focus has shifted to something other than making the correct decision at every step of the process. Identify where you have strayed (anger, impatience, hubris) and make the necessary mental adjustment.

Hope this helps.

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excellent advice, imo

Ask a friend to sit there while you play and kick you in the balls every time you start acting like a cowboy. If they are good friends, they will have no problem with this.

[WhoIam]

This is tough, but learn not to enjoy winning. This is the only way to avoid feeling like sh*t when you hit a down swing or get busted out of a tournament. Don't let yourself be a slave to variance.