Has your poker success ever caused a friend to ask for $$$?

[Mempho]

I'm not talking about 5 bucks here...or even a hundrud...I'm talking about 4 digits here. Poker player or not...that's still a lot of money for me. I had a very good friend, a roommate from college, get into some serious legal trouble. He needs lots of money...so much that I can't even make a large dent in it even if I give him as much as I can reasonbly give him without causing myself a serious change in lifestyle. So, in a way, I feel like Knish in Rounders saying, "If I give [it] to you, what's that buy you, a day? I feel like I'm wastin' it."

I would normally never consider giving money to anyone in such a large amount to someone...but the guy is like a brother to me. At the same time, if I really can't help his defense significantly and he goes to jail, I'm wasting my money. I know he'll pay me back slowly over time as he can but he's doesn't have the income I do...also, I wouldn't want to be pressing him all the time for the money like a bill collector. He said he would pay me a high interest rate to make sure that "I was taken care of for helping him" but I assume the interest rate is commiserate with the risk.

Have any of you had any similar situations happen since you have become well-known locally and with your friends as a poker success? How would you deal with the situation.

I told him that I would make no promises that I couldn't keep so that I wanted to think about it.

[TheHammer24]

My friend was down to 100 dollars on him (college student) and wanted 500 for a XBox 360. I was talking about a winning session and he wanted me to let him borrow money. I told him no. I told him I would play him in 3 games of NCAA '06. 100 dollar bet in game 1. If he won, we'd play a 2nd game for 200 dollars. If he won again, a 3rd game for 100 dollars. He initially accepted then backed down. Little girl......

Sorry this is of no help to you, but I will say lending money to friends is one of the most uneasy situation you can be in. I don't think poker has anything to do with it. You have to weight the importance of the money, the affet it will have legally, the chance it will come back if you pay it, the chance of it hurting your friendship either way.

[TobDog]

JMHO, the answer is always "NO" if its someone you dont mind giving $ to and you know itll be used for good and your $ will be enough to help, then do it, dont expect it back. If your $ to help him will leavve him way short, what will he use it for? Good luck with this decision, I know its not easy for a friend.

tobdog

[TheMetetron]

I gave my friend $4,000 when he asked for it, almost completely without question... even when I knew there was a decent chance I may not see it again.

Then again, he was my best friend, and I am making him casino whore (with me staking him) to pay me back. Also, he hit me up the second I came back from Vegas and I had 5 figures in my pocket.

[TheHammer24]

[ QUOTE ]
I am making him casino whore (with me staking him) to pay me back.

[/ QUOTE ]

that is so freaking sweet

[jasonHoldEm]

I loaned about $1500 to a friend and it sucked...I'll never do it again. When he couldn't pay me back at the time we agreed upon it really made things ackward between us...he did pay me back about six months after the fact, but it really made things difficult.

Personally, I think you stand a better chance at losing a friend (or at least damaging your relationship) by lending them money than you do refusing.

J

[Bikeboy]

I wouldn't make this a loan. Either give him the money or not. Loaning it is a bad idea.

[ QUOTE ]
I gave my friend $4,000 when he asked for it, almost completely without question... even when I knew there was a decent chance I may not see it again.

Then again, he was my best friend, and I am making him casino whore (with me staking him) to pay me back. Also, he hit me up the second I came back from Vegas and I had 5 figures in my pocket.

[/ QUOTE ]

Thinly veiled brag post.

nah he is the casino whoring king we all know that

[ QUOTE ]
I wouldn't make this a loan. Either give him the money or not. Loaning it is a bad idea.

[/ QUOTE ]

i totally agree with this guy. When it comes down to it, you should only lend money that you are comfortable not getting back. Especially to someone between a rock and a hard place. This really is more an issue of your level of friendship than finance. If my mom was going to die unless i gave her 90 percent of my assets, I'd do it and not think about it. If my best friend did, I'd be like "dam that sucks, can i have your drum set?"

[LomU]

when it comes to friends i never loan money.

i either give it to them or not. it's the best policy.

[BluffTHIS!]

This can come up not just with friends but also with family. They think that just because you make good money playing poker that you are not really working and have lots of disposable cash to lend/give. They don't have a clue about the concept of a bankroll, and that they might be making a request equivalent to asking a mechanic to loan half his toolbox. If they didn't think you had the money they would do something else. Tell him to do whatever that would be. And the key point here is that you said such a loan wouldn't even make a dent. So what would Joey Knish tell him?

[Mempho]

[ QUOTE ]
This can come up not just with friends but also with family. They think that just because you make good money playing poker that you are not really working and have lots of disposable cash to lend/give. They don't have a clue about the concept of a bankroll, and that they might be making a request equivalent to asking a mechanic to loan half his toolbox. If they didn't think you had the money they would do something else. Tell him to do whatever that would be. And the key point here is that you said such a loan wouldn't even make a dent. So what would Joey Knish tell him?

[/ QUOTE ]

I certainly agree with this. If he needed $500 and that would take care of it, then I would give it to him. He would give it back eventually, I'd just forget about the money and move on. Like you said, this is different. In a sense, I'm betting on his future. First, he would have to be able to hire the right legal team. Even if the money could be covered, he still has to roll the judicial dice.

[Mempho]

[ QUOTE ]
JMHO, the answer is always "NO" if its someone you dont mind giving $ to and you know itll be used for good and your $ will be enough to help, then do it, dont expect it back.


[/ QUOTE ]

I don't think I can do it and expect it back, you're right. Its going to have to be a "gift," at least in my mind. First and foremost, I want to know that if I gave him a gift, it would help him out. He is selling a piece of property, so I'll have to see how short he is after that.

[DuggleBogey]

If your friend did it, I wouldn't loan him anything, let him plead guilty or use legal assistance if he can't afford his own defense.

If he's not guilty and getting shafted, and he was my close friend, I'd give my entire bankroll to help him if he needed it.

Figuring out if he's guilty or not is your problem here, not whether or not to give him the money.

I don't see how giving him a little money helps. If he needs $50,000 for a good lawyer, he doesn't have it and you don't have that much to give. $5000 won't help, if he has no money then he will get a public defender. You can't buy him 1/10th of a good lawyer.

If he can manage to raise 95% of what he needs, that is another story, as then giving him the final 5% could make a big difference.

[BottlesOf]

I'm not well-known locally. But, no.

[mackthefork]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I wouldn't make this a loan. Either give him the money or not. Loaning it is a bad idea.

[/ QUOTE ]

i totally agree with this guy. When it comes down to it, you should only lend money that you are comfortable not getting back. Especially to someone between a rock and a hard place. This really is more an issue of your level of friendship than finance. If my best friend was going to die unless i gave him 90 percent of my assets, I'd do it and not think about it. If my mom did, I'd be like "dam that sucks, can i have your ming vase?"

[/ QUOTE ]

FYP

Mack

[Hornacek]

Just the other day my boss asked me to borrow $.25 so he could buy a drink in the vending machine.

[pyroponic]

Seeing that we don't know you or your friend, you mind describing sort of what kinda of trouble he is in? This would help us give better advice. Also the extent to your relationship would be helpful.

[wbrumfiel]

Seeing this post made me laugh, not at your situation but at one I encountered. I know this guy (online only) that Ive played fantasy football with for about 4 years and one day I was telling him about the $ I made at poker and he asked if he could borrow $12k to get his mail order type bride to move to the US from whatever country she was in. I couldn't stop laughing long enough to tell him no.

[Mempho]

[ QUOTE ]
I'm not well-known locally. But, no.

[/ QUOTE ]

I'm not locally famous or anything...I'm just originally from a town of less than 100,000 and everyone knows about my poker (a hometown hero in a fish pond but probably little more than a blue marlin in the shark tank).

As far as you not being locally well-known, you are well-known in this community...if there was a 2+2 conference, it might get you somewhere with the ladies on here! /images/graemlins/grin.gif

[Mempho]

[ QUOTE ]
Seeing that we don't know you or your friend, you mind describing sort of what kinda of trouble he is in? This would help us give better advice. Also the extent to your relationship would be helpful.

[/ QUOTE ]

Its not a crime perpatrated against an individual, if you catch my drift. That's not in his character. It's still a huge legal problem, though. Of course, I won't discuss specifics out of respect for him.

[solucky]

I borrow my brother a few times money and 2 friends get money at any time. I know i get it back from them, but i never borrow money that bring myself in trouble.

Wolfgang