how pissed off should i be? [Archive] - Two Plus Two Older Archives

Jordan

10-24-2005, 05:23 PM

so my parents were in town for a midsemester break. my girlfriend went to canada partially for a change of scenery and have fun and partially to avoid my parents. while in canada she was at a club with a couple of friends (male friends if that matters). They were dancing with her, and she thought they'd have more fun if she left them alone to find other females to dance with. So she went to dance by herself. First off... how big of a mistake was that?

Two males sandwiched her in pretty forcefully. She was pretty uncomfortable, but she was unable to push them away. She said that screaming wouldn't have helped because it was so loud in the club. Then one of the males took her phone out of her back pocket and called himself (presumably to get her number). Then one (not sure if the same) of them put his hand down her pants and underwear. She was in complete shock and her only thought was to get away and take a shower because she immediately felt dirty, so she wiggled away and waved down one of her friends and they all left the club. I don't know why she couldn't do this immediately, maybe being completely violated gave her some extra strength.

This whole situation has me pretty pissed off, but I'm pretty convinced that she did nothing wrong and that these guys are just a bunch of sick perverted individuals. She wasn't even wearing "tease" clothes (jeans and a sweater) because it was cold (not that wearing those kind of clothes should be an invitation for this). She just wanted to dance. I don't really go to clubs; is this kind of conduct normal for clubs? I can't imagine it is, but then again I've been fairly sheltered.

I am kind of upset with her for not notifying a manager or at least punching/slapping them in the face. What kind of laws are out there regarding this kind of stuff? What are the chances having their number can bring any sort of justice?

utmt40

10-24-2005, 05:27 PM

I am assuming these guys were _________. Dont want to sound racist but thats the only kind of people I have ever seen pull anything like that. Oh, and yes you should be pissed.

diebitter

10-24-2005, 05:29 PM

very pissed off - at the guys.

Didn't anyone try to help? Was it in a secluded spot?

don't be upset with her, listen and be sympathetic.

David04

10-24-2005, 05:29 PM

[ QUOTE ]
I am assuming these guys were _________. Dont want to sound racist but thats the only kind of people I have ever seen pull anything like that. Oh, and yes you should be pissed.

[/ QUOTE ]
Why? When I was reading this, I didn't assume that these guys were black. If you are going to stereotype, at least have the balls to come out and say it, instead of saying "Oh, well I'm not racist, but white people don't do this, only black people do"

If I were you, I would be pissed off. Not at your girlfriend(is that what you meant?) but at the two guys. What these guys did was disgusting, and if they continue to harass your girlfriend, consider legal action and/or beating their asses.

I'm assuming the blank was supposed to be "black".

10-24-2005, 05:30 PM

[ QUOTE ]
I am assuming these guys were _________. Dont want to sound racist but thats the only kind of people I have ever seen pull anything like that. Oh, and yes you should be pissed.

[/ QUOTE ]

Why the blank spot? If you are going to put down someone or some ethnic group at least be a man about it.

To the OP, Id be pissed/concerned that she didnt contact management, or at least someone that could put these d-bags in their place. What happens when something like this happens again, but they take it even further?? Tell her to get some mace.

KungFuSandwich

10-24-2005, 05:30 PM

You have their phone number. Get the fuckers.

rory

10-24-2005, 05:31 PM

you're a tool-- your girlfriend got violated and you are blaming her for it instead of supporting her. kill yourself.

4_2_it

10-24-2005, 05:32 PM

You are correct to be pissed. Just be thankful that things didn't escalate into anything worse.

If the guy did dial his number from your GF's cell have her file an assault complaint against these 'tards. The cops shouldn't have any trouble tracking them down. Even if she doesn't want to testify they will at least at a minimum they get hassled by the law.

rory

10-24-2005, 05:33 PM

does oot need a lesson in reading comprehension

he is talking about being pissed at his girl not the dudes

Rduke55

10-24-2005, 05:33 PM

Next time find a bouncer and have the bouncer throw them down the stairs.
I'm not kidding.

As it is. You have their number as the guy said above. Either cops or posse of friends.

jason_t

10-24-2005, 05:34 PM

[ QUOTE ]
I am kind of upset with her for not notifying a manager or at least punching/slapping them in the face.

[/ QUOTE ]

Dumbass.

If she wants to file assault charges, help her otherwise just leave it.

[censored]

10-24-2005, 05:34 PM

[ QUOTE ]
You have their phone number. Get the fuckers.

[/ QUOTE ]

Perfect, she should at the very least contact the authorities and file a report of the sexual assualt. It pisses me off when I think about garbage like these assholes thinking they can get away with this [censored]. Hopefully next time they will just get shot, but go ahead and file the report on the chance that doesn't happen.

10-24-2005, 05:36 PM

[ QUOTE ]
you're a tool-- your girlfriend got violated and you are blaming her for it instead of supporting her. kill yourself.

[/ QUOTE ]

This is correct.

However, once you have killed yourself you should encourage your girlfriend to report this to the police. She was sexually assaulted. She should report it to the cops along with the phone number. It is not normal behavior in clubs.

10-24-2005, 05:36 PM

[ QUOTE ]
you're a tool-- your girlfriend got violated and you are blaming her for it instead of supporting her. kill yourself.

[/ QUOTE ]

I would not be pissed, but more concerned that she chose not to do something about the situation after the fact. I understand the mentality that girls who were/raped etc sometimes feel guilty, but I think you need to get it into her head that she can not let things like this happen w/o repercussions to the scum who did it.

Jordan

10-24-2005, 05:37 PM

[ QUOTE ]
he is talking about being pissed at his girl not the dudes

[/ QUOTE ]

[ QUOTE ]
This whole situation has me pretty pissed off, but I'm pretty convinced that she did nothing wrong and that these guys are just a bunch of sick perverted individuals.

[/ QUOTE ]

what?

David04

10-24-2005, 05:37 PM

[ QUOTE ]
he is talking about being pissed at his girl not the dudes

[/ QUOTE ]
Which I don't understand. OP, are you one of those guys who thinks that rape is a girls fault "because she was asking for it"?

[censored]

10-24-2005, 05:37 PM

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I am kind of upset with her for not notifying a manager or at least punching/slapping them in the face.

[/ QUOTE ]

Dumbass.

If she wants to file assault charges, help her otherwise just leave it.

[/ QUOTE ]

Also I'm assuming the question of being pissed off was directed at the pieces of trash who did this to your girlfriend and not her.

rory

10-24-2005, 05:39 PM

are you stupid, she is a girl and two big dudes are messing with her. what is she going to do about it? getting the hell out of there was the smartest thing she could do. she did the right thing. except for not dumping her douchebag boyfriend immediately after.

Jordan

10-24-2005, 05:40 PM

[ QUOTE ]
Which I don't understand. OP, are you one of those guys who thinks that rape is a girls fault "because she was asking for it"?

[/ QUOTE ]

of course not. my main concern is that she doesn't want to do anything about the situation. she just wants to drop it, but i won't let herself do that until she forgives herself. she thinks it's her fault because she could have prevented it. i think she's wrong.

nothumb

10-24-2005, 05:40 PM

Your girlfriend was the victim of a sexual assault. There are no two ways about it. You can't be angry with her for how she dealt with it - she was trying to survive the situation, she was in an unfamiliar place and she did the best she could. Be sympathetic, let her know it's not her fault, and do NOT tell her what she could or should have done.

If she wants to take action against these people, support her. If she doesn't, don't make a bunch of threats or talk about hurting these guys. She's already been through one violent incident. You need to let her take control of the situation.

NT

miajag81

10-24-2005, 05:40 PM

[censored]

10-24-2005, 05:41 PM

[ QUOTE ]
does oot need a lesson in reading comprehension

he is talking about being pissed at his girl not the dudes

[/ QUOTE ]

It's too incomprehensible to fathom.

On the off off off chance this is the case. Dude put down your stupid ass pride and take care of your girl. Yeah some prick touched your GF's pussy. And? She didn't cheat on you she was assaulted get over your goddamned self.

Jordan

10-24-2005, 05:41 PM

why don't you try rereading my posts?

rory

10-24-2005, 05:42 PM

if you dont understand how that sentence implies you think it is possible she did something wrong, then you need to go back to middle school english class. two guys get up on your girl against her will and sexually assault her and you think that probably she did 'nothing wrong'. nice. retard.

Jordan

10-24-2005, 05:42 PM

agreed. you've echoed one of my biggest concerns.

10-24-2005, 05:44 PM

[ QUOTE ]
are you stupid, she is a girl and two big dudes are messing with her. what is she going to do about it? getting the hell out of there was the smartest thing she could do. she did the right thing. except for not dumping her douchebag boyfriend immediately after.

[/ QUOTE ]

I def agree, the best thing for her to do was to get away asap...then run to the nearest manager of the joint, and have him take action. Something should have been done, so these guys couldnt try this on some other unsuspecting girl and/or even worse, run into the guys girlfriend in an even worse enviroment (ie walking to her car).

David04

10-24-2005, 05:44 PM

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Which I don't understand. OP, are you one of those guys who thinks that rape is a girls fault "because she was asking for it"?

[/ QUOTE ]

of course not. my main concern is that she doesn't want to do anything about the situation. she just wants to drop it, but i won't let herself do that until she forgives herself. she thinks it's her fault because she could have prevented it. i think she's wrong.

[/ QUOTE ]
A lot of girls in this situation would feel the same way. I think you just have to sympathize with her, try to encourage her to take legal action. If she doesn't want the police involved, I don't think it is really your spot to take charge of the situation. Let her deal with it how she sees fit.

Eurotrash

10-24-2005, 05:45 PM

[ QUOTE ]
I am assuming these guys were _________. Dont want to sound racist but thats the only kind of people I have ever seen pull anything like that. Oh, and yes you should be pissed.

[/ QUOTE ]

I really don't know why automatically assumed this. as a couple others have mentioned, I certainly didn't attribute this to any particular racial group while I was reading.

I figured it was actually two guys in striped shirts that just got off the Golden Tee machine who would pull a stunt like this

rory

10-24-2005, 05:47 PM

you are at a club and two huge dudes corner you in the back. they mess around with you for a while and then one of them sticks their hand down your pants and starts jerking you off. do you think a reasonable reaction on your part might be to be mortified, terrified, embarassed, ashamed and wanting to get the hell out of there and forget it ever happened? i do. i especially think you would feel pretty awesome if you confided in someone what happened and they responded by wondering if you maybe did something to bring it on yourself. nice.

anyway, what will happen if you call the cops will be this: you will call up, say my girlfriend was assaulted blah blah this is the guys number. the cops may or may not do anything about it. but if it even goes to trial, the guys will go, "no we didn't, i gave her my number and she called me. she is crazy." and she will go "no you guys did all that stuff" and their lawyer will go, "ok prove it" and then the guys will go home. its terrible that it happened to your girl but nothing is going to happen if she tries to do anything about it. respect that she wants to put the terrible experience behind her and move on.

Jordan

10-24-2005, 05:47 PM

even if i think there's a chance she could/should have taken more prevenative measures, i am certainly way more pissed off at the assholes than her. i'm doing my best to comfort her and convince her that it's not her fault.

dblgutshot

10-24-2005, 05:47 PM

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I am assuming these guys were _________. Dont want to sound racist but thats the only kind of people I have ever seen pull anything like that. Oh, and yes you should be pissed.

[/ QUOTE ]

I really don't know why automatically assumed this. as a couple others have mentioned, I certainly didn't attribute this to any particular racial group while I was reading.

I figured it was actually two guys in striped shirts that just got off the Golden Tee machine who would pull a stunt like this

[/ QUOTE ]

Maybe utmt is black and talking about white guys?

10-24-2005, 05:50 PM

[ QUOTE ]
anyway, what will happen if you call the cops will be this: you will call up, say my girlfriend was assaulted blah blah this is the guys number. the cops may or may not do anything about it. but if it even goes to trial, the guys will go, "no we didn't, i gave her my number and she called me. she is crazy." and she will go "no you guys did all that stuff" and their lawyer will go, "ok prove it" and then the guys will go home. its terrible that it happened to your girl but nothing is going to happen if she tries to do anything about it. respect that she wants to put the terrible experience behind her and move on.

[/ QUOTE ]

Unfortunately this is what is most likely to happen...unless one of them has a previous history.

nothumb

10-24-2005, 05:51 PM

[ QUOTE ]
even if i think there's a chance she could/should have taken more prevenative measures, i am certainly way more pissed off at the assholes than her. i'm doing my best to comfort her and convince her that it's not her fault.

[/ QUOTE ]

Try convincing yourself. If you don't believe it, you can't believe she will. Your girlfriend did nothing wrong and deserves no blame from you AT ALL.

NT

utmt40

10-24-2005, 06:03 PM

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I am assuming these guys were _________. Dont want to sound racist but thats the only kind of people I have ever seen pull anything like that. Oh, and yes you should be pissed.

[/ QUOTE ]

I really don't know why automatically assumed this. as a couple others have mentioned, I certainly didn't attribute this to any particular racial group while I was reading.

I figured it was actually two guys in striped shirts that just got off the Golden Tee machine who would pull a stunt like this

[/ QUOTE ]

Maybe utmt is black and talking about white guys?

[/ QUOTE ]

You got me! But what is real funny here is the fact I left it blank on purpose just to see how many of you would come back and say black. I was right a lotof you did and you want to berate me for leaving blank when the first thing that came to your mind was the same thing.

rory

10-24-2005, 06:06 PM

really clever-- mentioning that you don't want to be racist in there doesn't color what people think or anything. you _____ _____.

rory

10-24-2005, 06:07 PM

"wonderful gentleman" is what is in the blanks. LOL i knew you would think it was something bad!

daryn

10-24-2005, 06:08 PM

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I am assuming these guys were _________. Dont want to sound racist but thats the only kind of people I have ever seen pull anything like that. Oh, and yes you should be pissed.

[/ QUOTE ]

I really don't know why automatically assumed this. as a couple others have mentioned, I certainly didn't attribute this to any particular racial group while I was reading.

I figured it was actually two guys in striped shirts that just got off the Golden Tee machine who would pull a stunt like this

[/ QUOTE ]

Maybe utmt is black and talking about white guys?

[/ QUOTE ]

You got me! But what is real funny here is the fact I left it blank on purpose just to see how many of you would come back and say black. I was right a lotof you did and you want to berate me for leaving blank when the first thing that came to your mind was the same thing.

[/ QUOTE ]

oh snappppp

utmt40

10-24-2005, 06:09 PM

[ QUOTE ]
really clever-- mentioning that you don't want to be racist in there doesn't color what people think or anything. you _____ _____.

[/ QUOTE ]

Thats a neat trick and I can do it too. You _______ _______ I hope you _______ in ________.

jason_t

10-24-2005, 06:10 PM

[ QUOTE ]
You got me! But what is real funny here is the fact I left it blank on purpose just to see how many of you would come back and say black. I was right a lotof you did and you want to berate me for leaving blank when the first thing that came to your mind was the same thing.

[/ QUOTE ]

This doesn't work because of the statement in bold.

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I am assuming these guys were _________. Dont want to sound racist but thats the only kind of people I have ever seen pull anything like that.

[/ QUOTE ]

[/ QUOTE ]

utmt40

10-24-2005, 06:14 PM

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
You got me! But what is real funny here is the fact I left it blank on purpose just to see how many of you would come back and say black. I was right a lotof you did and you want to berate me for leaving blank when the first thing that came to your mind was the same thing.

[/ QUOTE ]

This doesn't work because of the statement in bold.

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I am assuming these guys were _________. Dont want to sound racist but thats the only kind of people I have ever seen pull anything like that.

[/ QUOTE ]

[/ QUOTE ]

[/ QUOTE ]

Too bad its the truth...

offTopic

10-24-2005, 06:16 PM

mslif

10-24-2005, 06:17 PM

I thought about this and came to the conclusion that I would have most likely reacted the same way she did. I am not going to fight two guys, the odds are not in my favor. I will probably try to squeeze my way out as she did. Unfortunately this situation happens too often in clubs. Guys feel the need to grab you because you are on the dance floor. I am sad that she had to go through that.

2+2 wannabe

10-24-2005, 06:19 PM

[ QUOTE ]

I figured it was actually two guys in striped shirts that just got off the Golden Tee machine who would pull a stunt like this

[/ QUOTE ]

this is EXACTLY what I thought as well

2+2 wannabe

10-24-2005, 06:21 PM

gorie

10-24-2005, 06:32 PM

don't hold it against her for not fighting back or notifying a manager or any authorities. when something like that happens, it isn't easy to react how you should. i am sure she can look back at it now and say "i wish i had done this, or that.." too.

she was likely in shock and thinking nothing except "i need to get away" and wishing they would stop. don't make her feel bad after the fact for not doing more, it's hard. and now that it's over she probably just wants to forget that it happened.

it's easy to say what you would do in a situation like that, but when it actually happens, it's another story.

i feel really bad for her. hopefully something can be done about it since you possibly know their phone number. what creeps.

shant

10-24-2005, 06:33 PM

What were her two male friends doing and why couoldn't she point out the pervs to them so they could handle things?

Aloysius

10-24-2005, 06:36 PM

I usually hate piling on - but OP - dude - when terrible things like this happen to your girlfriend, and some of your first instincts are to blame her for it... maybe you should learn to trust her more or just break up with her. She can do a lot better. What if she DID get raped dude?

And [censored], c'mon! How is it not super obvious that OP believes his girlfriend somehow contributed to the situation? Your initial naivete, or misread of OP's post, in this particular instance, confounds me.

diebitter

10-24-2005, 06:38 PM

I think there's a little too much harshness on the OP. He corrected this 'being a bit pissed at her' stuff in later posts.

Let's drop that angle, huh? guys? huh?

[censored]

10-24-2005, 06:43 PM

[ QUOTE ]

And [censored], c'mon! How is it not super obvious that OP believes his girlfriend somehow contributed to the situation? Your initial naivete, or misread of OP's post, in this particular instance, confounds me.

[/ QUOTE ]

I'm niave I guess because it never even occured to me that this was a possibility until other's brought it up. I still find it hard to believe but his half assed reponses have made it more clear. I suppose one some level I expect everyone to react to situations that I see as obvious in the way I would.

Aloysius

10-24-2005, 06:44 PM

OK - that's fair. Not specific to OP then - but general idea of what OP seemed to intimate (and later correct) during his original post.

There is an idea out there prevalent among guys that somehow, women (even girlfriends and wives) somehow engender / foment sexual situations with other guys. And that sometimes, sexual assault (such as the case of the OP's lady) could have been prevented IF the woman had acted in a more "proper" or even "smarter" fashion.

That's the mindset that has forced U.S. courts to engage in super-strict, over-the-top rape / sexual assault laws.

It's an incredibly dangerous mindset - really obscures the main point - dudes should just get some self control.

There are obvious examples to the contrary (where a woman may truly be putting herself in a stupidly dangerous situation), but those are very few when comopared to the increidbly high number of instances where a woman does nothing, and gets assaulted.

Ulysses

10-24-2005, 06:50 PM

B Dids

10-24-2005, 06:50 PM

There's really no need for racist trolls to stick around is there?

Can this idiot go bye-bye already?

Aloysius

10-24-2005, 06:51 PM

Sorry got up on my high horse there, [censored]. Yeah a quick reading of OP's post, wouldn't necessarily be able to tell.

And not trying to come off as some crazy defender of women's rights etc.

It's just that, as a newly single guy, when going out to bars with my male friends, carousing, and whatnot, it's surprising to me how ingrained this mindset and dynamic (predator vs. prey) is.

I'm not the greatest guy by any stretch, but I still think it's messed up to blame the chick, for any reason, for sexual assault scenarios.

Ulysses

10-24-2005, 06:51 PM

[ QUOTE ]
even if i think there's a chance she could/should have taken more prevenative measures, i am certainly way more pissed off at the assholes than her. i'm doing my best to comfort her and convince her that it's not her fault.

[/ QUOTE ]

Wow, I thought rory was off base w/ his responses in this thread, but now that you clarify that you are pissed off "way more" at the guys than you are pissed off at her, I realize rory is right.

I sure hope this chick sees the light and dumps your sorry ass.

bernie

10-24-2005, 06:57 PM

Even though I agree with most of your post..

[ QUOTE ]
I am not going to fight two guys, the odds are not in my favor.

[/ QUOTE ]

Odds are 2 guys aren't going to beat or rape you in the middle of a club. The odds are greatly in your favor that someone or a couple someones would come and help you.

But that said, the situation does cause many to freeze and just want to get away. Which is perfectly normal and fine to do.

b

mslif

10-24-2005, 07:03 PM

[ QUOTE ]
Even though I agree with most of your post..

[ QUOTE ]
I am not going to fight two guys, the odds are not in my favor.

[/ QUOTE ]

Odds are 2 guys aren't going to beat or rape you in the middle of a club. The odds are greatly in your favor that someone or a couple someones would come and help you.

But that said, the situation does cause many to freeze and just want to get away. Which is perfectly normal and fine to do.

b

[/ QUOTE ]

Don't be so sure. I was at a club for my birthday in April. A guy grabbed my arm to go dancing, I said no, I got punched in the face. Nobody did anything because it was dark and nearly 90% of the people in the club were drunk. I reported it to the bouncers who tried to find the guy but there were too many people and they could not find him. I have not been back in a club since that happened.

RunDownHouse

10-24-2005, 07:04 PM

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
anyway, what will happen if you call the cops will be this: you will call up, say my girlfriend was assaulted blah blah this is the guys number. the cops may or may not do anything about it. but if it even goes to trial, the guys will go, "no we didn't, i gave her my number and she called me. she is crazy." and she will go "no you guys did all that stuff" and their lawyer will go, "ok prove it" and then the guys will go home. its terrible that it happened to your girl but nothing is going to happen if she tries to do anything about it. respect that she wants to put the terrible experience behind her and move on.

[/ QUOTE ]

Unfortunately this is what is most likely to happen...unless one of them has a previous history.

[/ QUOTE ]
Even if currently they have no previous history, they never will if no one ever files a complaint. She should definitely file a report.

bernie

10-24-2005, 07:11 PM

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Even though I agree with most of your post..

[ QUOTE ]
I am not going to fight two guys, the odds are not in my favor.

[/ QUOTE ]

Odds are 2 guys aren't going to beat or rape you in the middle of a club. The odds are greatly in your favor that someone or a couple someones would come and help you.

But that said, the situation does cause many to freeze and just want to get away. Which is perfectly normal and fine to do.

b

[/ QUOTE ]

Don't be so sure. I was at a club for my birthday in April. A guy grabbed my arm to go dancing, I said no, I got punched in the face. Nobody did anything because it was dark and nearly 90% of the people in the club were drunk. I reported it to the bouncers who tried to find the guy but there were too many people and they could not find him. I have not been back in a club since that happened.

[/ QUOTE ]

Note that I said the odds were in your favor. Not that it was gauranteed. Hey, even 2 outers hit on the river when there's only 4 bets in the pot on the turn.

b

diebitter

10-24-2005, 07:23 PM

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Even though I agree with most of your post..

[ QUOTE ]
I am not going to fight two guys, the odds are not in my favor.

[/ QUOTE ]

Odds are 2 guys aren't going to beat or rape you in the middle of a club. The odds are greatly in your favor that someone or a couple someones would come and help you.

But that said, the situation does cause many to freeze and just want to get away. Which is perfectly normal and fine to do.

b

[/ QUOTE ]

Don't be so sure. I was at a club for my birthday in April. A guy grabbed my arm to go dancing, I said no, I got punched in the face. Nobody did anything because it was dark and nearly 90% of the people in the club were drunk. I reported it to the bouncers who tried to find the guy but there were too many people and they could not find him. I have not been back in a club since that happened.

[/ QUOTE ]

That really sucks. It's really depressing this sort of thing and the poor girl with the two guys happens, and no-one does anything. I've seen asses pinched and not be wanted, but nothing worse (excluding fights between guys and fights between girls).

I know bouncers don't care, but don't people help each other?

Am I just being naive about it?

Eurotrash

10-24-2005, 07:38 PM

[ QUOTE ]
Two males sandwiched her in pretty forcefully. She was pretty uncomfortable, but she was unable to push them away.

[/ QUOTE ]

http://content.ytmnd.com//55000/55045/image.gif

http://content.ytmnd.com//133000/133260/image.gif

Voltron87

10-24-2005, 07:39 PM

i knew exactly what that was way before the images even came close to showing up. nh.

KingCon

10-24-2005, 07:56 PM

Easy solution

1) You ahve the guys phone number

2) Get a female friend (not your GF) to call that number

3)Get the female to Set up a place to meet Romeo

4) Meet him there with a couple of friends, beat his ass down then piss on him, take pictures

5)Run

2+2 wannabe

10-24-2005, 08:01 PM

[ QUOTE ]
Easy solution

1) You ahve the guys phone number

2) Get a female friend (not your GF) to call that number

3)Get the female to Set up a place to meet Romeo

4) Meet him there with a couple of friends, beat his ass down then piss on him, take pictures

5)Run

[/ QUOTE ]

this is brilliant - only if you let him know why you're kicking his ass

James Boston

10-24-2005, 08:04 PM

[ QUOTE ]
Wow, I thought rory was off base w/ his responses in this thread, but now that you clarify that you are pissed off "way more" at the guys than you are pissed off at her, I realize rory is right.

I sure hope this chick sees the light and dumps your sorry ass.

[/ QUOTE ]

I think the OP's problem is semantics and basic use of the English language, not that he's pissed at the girl. I never got that impression, but I don't know.

HopeydaFish

10-24-2005, 08:09 PM

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I am assuming these guys were _________. Dont want to sound racist but thats the only kind of people I have ever seen pull anything like that. Oh, and yes you should be pissed.

[/ QUOTE ]

I have seen plenty of white guys pull this type of [censored], so I have no idea what you're talking about.

[/ QUOTE ]

I've seen this sort of thing happen a couple of times on a crowded dance floor. Both times it was a white guy doing it.

HopeydaFish

10-24-2005, 08:11 PM

10-24-2005, 08:15 PM

Roman hands and Russian fingers?

HopeydaFish

10-24-2005, 08:17 PM

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Two males sandwiched her in pretty forcefully. She was pretty uncomfortable, but she was unable to push them away.

[/ QUOTE ]

http://content.ytmnd.com//55000/55045/image.gif

http://content.ytmnd.com//133000/133260/image.gif

[/ QUOTE ]

LOL..nh sir!

27offsuit

10-24-2005, 08:22 PM

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I am assuming these guys were _________. Dont want to sound racist but thats the only kind of people I have ever seen pull anything like that. Oh, and yes you should be pissed.

[/ QUOTE ]

I really don't know why automatically assumed this. as a couple others have mentioned, I certainly didn't attribute this to any particular racial group while I was reading.

I figured it was actually two guys in striped shirts that just got off the Golden Tee machine who would pull a stunt like this

[/ QUOTE ]

Maybe utmt is black and talking about white guys?

[/ QUOTE ]

You got me! But what is real funny here is the fact I left it blank on purpose just to see how many of you would come back and say black. I was right a lotof you did and you want to berate me for leaving blank when the first thing that came to your mind was the same thing.

[/ QUOTE ]

oh snappppp

[/ QUOTE ]

daryn, your avatar just keeps getting better.....well done.

27offsuit

10-24-2005, 08:25 PM

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I am assuming these guys were _________. Dont want to sound racist but thats the only kind of people I have ever seen pull anything like that. Oh, and yes you should be pissed.

[/ QUOTE ]

I really don't know why automatically assumed this. as a couple others have mentioned, I certainly didn't attribute this to any particular racial group while I was reading.

I figured it was actually two guys in striped shirts that just got off the Golden Tee machine who would pull a stunt like this

[/ QUOTE ]

Maybe utmt is black and talking about white guys?

[/ QUOTE ]

You got me! But what is real funny here is the fact I left it blank on purpose just to see how many of you would come back and say black. I was right a lotof you did and you want to berate me for leaving blank when the first thing that came to your mind was the same thing.

[/ QUOTE ]

Actually, I assumed that these were white guys after reading the initial message, for obvious reasons. I also assumed that the blank in your message was "black" given the context in which you wrote it. So, please, shove it w/ your BS rationalization, you piece of ____.

[/ QUOTE ]

"...chocolate cake with vanilla frosting", right?

wacki

10-24-2005, 09:06 PM

[ QUOTE ]
Be sympathetic, let her know it's not her fault, and do NOT tell her what she could or should have done. .....don't make a bunch of threats or talk about hurting these guys.

[/ QUOTE ]

Can you please explain this? IMO constructive criticism is often really good as you know what to do next time. I HATE feeling helpless and not knowing what to do makes me feel even more helpless. Also, knowing someone has your back and won't be a pussy when you are in danger is good. So threats (done in the right way) can be feel really good when you feel helpless. Even if it's only a "Man I wish I was there. I may be outnumbered but I would of bit his ear off."

Also, I don't see what's wrong with urging her in filing a complaint. She doesn't have to go to court, she just needs to file a complaint to "protect others that may be in danger". It will build her up and allow her to be a stronger person. She will feel good about it because she's helping others. She can be a "character witness for future victims".

I'm not a woman of course. And I've never been in this womans specific situation but I have been mugged and beaten by group of thieves. I was messed up pretty badly. So I'm very familiar with what goes through a victims mind.

P.S. Nothumb, as always, I love hearing your street wisdom.

PocketJokers72

10-24-2005, 09:26 PM

I'm only FYP'ing this because I'm sick

[ QUOTE ]
so my parents were in town for a midsemester break. my girlfriend went to canada to get laid by someone other than me. while in canada she was at a swingers club with a couple of friends (male friends if that matters).
Two males were trying to make her airtight. . She was pretty uncomfortable, but she was unable to push them away because of the restraints. She said that screaming wouldn't have helped because of the ball-gag that was in her mouth. She was in complete shock and her only thought was to get away and take a shower because she had 8 gallons of man-goo on her.

[/ QUOTE ]

I could have gone on...but i was laughing too hard. Time for a few more hits off the bong.

To the OP...only be mad at the guys. Be supportive of her. When chit like this happens, sometimes people don't make the right snap decisions.

4_2_it

10-24-2005, 09:47 PM

This is a classic fight or flight situation. Your GF choose flight as her course of action. You should in no way be pissed at her or blame her. The two molesters are the ones who should be the focus of your rage.

If you were/are even a little pissed at your GF, I hope you accidentally stumble into the Blue Oyster tonight and meet up with Clyde and Butch.

Jordan

10-24-2005, 10:35 PM

[ QUOTE ]
I sure hope this chick sees the light and dumps your sorry ass.

[/ QUOTE ]

wow, that hurts, especially coming from one of my most respected posters. I guess that I should take more care in the wording of my posts. To clarify, I am not pissed off at my girlfriend. at best I was a little upset with how she handled herself as the incident unfolded and afterwords, but now I don't even feel that.

I am convinced that the best course of action is to do nothing but console her, and possibly help her take action against them if/when she becomes ready to. Right now she's not ready to think about it and I have to respect that, even though I need her to understand that it wasn't her fault... She has a habit of excusing the behavior of drunken boys by saying "boys will be boys" and blaming herself. that's unacceptable to me.

10-25-2005, 12:11 AM

[ QUOTE ]
I'm only FYP'ing this because I'm sick

[ QUOTE ]
so my parents were in town for a midsemester break. my girlfriend went to canada to get laid by someone other than me. while in canada she was at a swingers club with a couple of friends (male friends if that matters).
Two males were trying to make her airtight. . She was pretty uncomfortable, but she was unable to push them away because of the restraints. She said that screaming wouldn't have helped because of the ball-gag that was in her mouth. She was in complete shock and her only thought was to get away and take a shower because she had 8 gallons of man-goo on her.

[/ QUOTE ]

I could have gone on...but i was laughing too hard. Time for a few more hits off the bong.

To the OP...only be mad at the guys. Be supportive of her. When chit like this happens, sometimes people don't make the right snap decisions.

[/ QUOTE ]

You stole my post. I was gonna write how she more than likely provoked it, gave the guy her number, met up with him later, then once she realized what happened she would have felt guilty for not telling OP about it and made it seem like it was their fault. Most women are pretty clueless when it comes to mens intentions. My GF once gave her number to a guy at the bar. He would not stop calling her and I'm talkin like 3 a.m. So I did what any man would do, snatched the phone out of her hand, answered, and I threatened to take control of the situation with violent action. He never called again. If you trust her support her and NEVER let anyone pull [censored] like this if you can. If she can't protect herself and you can protect her then things like this are going to happen. Yo Joker, pass that [censored] this way.....

wacki

10-25-2005, 12:19 AM

wacki

10-25-2005, 12:21 AM

[ QUOTE ]
To clarify, I am not pissed off at my girlfriend. at best I was a little upset with how she handled herself as the incident unfolded and afterwords, but now I don't even feel that.

[/ QUOTE ]

If you are angry at your woman because she has a habit of getting herself into trouble then I think people are giving you too much grief. However, it doesn't seem like this WAS the case. OOT just did you a massive favor.

BCPVP

10-25-2005, 01:32 AM

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
anyway, what will happen if you call the cops will be this: you will call up, say my girlfriend was assaulted blah blah this is the guys number. the cops may or may not do anything about it. but if it even goes to trial, the guys will go, "no we didn't, i gave her my number and she called me. she is crazy." and she will go "no you guys did all that stuff" and their lawyer will go, "ok prove it" and then the guys will go home. its terrible that it happened to your girl but nothing is going to happen if she tries to do anything about it. respect that she wants to put the terrible experience behind her and move on.

[/ QUOTE ]

Unfortunately this is what is most likely to happen...unless one of them has a previous history.

[/ QUOTE ]
Even if currently they have no previous history, they never will if no one ever files a complaint. She should definitely file a report.

[/ QUOTE ]
Definitely. Jordan, have you talked to her about getting any sort of counseling for this? I can't imagine trying to repress this would be emotionally healthy.

Do not blame her for the way she reacted. It probably wouldn't be a good idea to be pointing out what she "should have done" right now, especially if she blames herself even a little. That might just reinforce the idea that what happened was somehow her fault.

DMBFan23

10-25-2005, 03:09 AM

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Be sympathetic, let her know it's not her fault, and do NOT tell her what she could or should have done. .....don't make a bunch of threats or talk about hurting these guys.

[/ QUOTE ]

Can you please explain this? IMO constructive criticism is often really good as you know what to do next time. I HATE feeling helpless and not knowing what to do makes me feel even more helpless. Also, knowing someone has your back and won't be a pussy when you are in danger is good. So threats (done in the right way) can be feel really good when you feel helpless. Even if it's only a "Man I wish I was there. I may be outnumbered but I would of bit his ear off."

Also, I don't see what's wrong with urging her in filing a complaint. She doesn't have to go to court, she just needs to file a complaint to "protect others that may be in danger". It will build her up and allow her to be a stronger person. She will feel good about it because she's helping others. She can be a "character witness for future victims".

I'm not a woman of course. And I've never been in this womans specific situation but I have been mugged and beaten by group of thieves. I was messed up pretty badly. So I'm very familiar with what goes through a victims mind.

P.S. Nothumb, as always, I love hearing your street wisdom.

[/ QUOTE ]

IMO it's hard enough for the girl to even tell you in the first place, cause she knows we're gonna get all macho and go do this and do that. she should know that you'll support her if she decides to do anything, but only after she knows that she's in safe hands and being taken care of and you're glad she's ok. if she was looking for advice on how to handle it she'd call her parents.

10-25-2005, 10:46 AM

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I am assuming these guys were _________. Dont want to sound racist but thats the only kind of people I have ever seen pull anything like that. Oh, and yes you should be pissed.

[/ QUOTE ]
Why? When I was reading this, I didn't assume that these guys were black. If you are going to stereotype, at least have the balls to come out and say it, instead of saying "Oh, well I'm not racist, but white people don't do this, only black people do"

If I were you, I would be pissed off. Not at your girlfriend(is that what you meant?) but at the two guys. What these guys did was disgusting, and if they continue to harass your girlfriend, consider legal action and/or beating their asses.

I'm assuming the blank was supposed to be "black".

[/ QUOTE ]

Why would you assume the blank means "black", you racist. I guess whatever ethnicity each poster slipped into that blank spot is the ethnicity that they hate the most?

FWIW, I thought the blank was for Samoans. /images/graemlins/grin.gif

highlife

10-25-2005, 10:53 AM

Sounds like your GF is lying, I doubt this happened exactly as she told you.

IndieMatty

10-25-2005, 11:01 AM

Just scanning this thread. Where are you guys going out? Jesus.

OP should be very supportive to his gf, and do his best to make her feel comfortable in crowded areas from here on.

schwza

10-25-2005, 11:21 AM

[ QUOTE ]
I am kind of upset with her for not notifying a manager or at least punching/slapping them in the face.

[/ QUOTE ]

you're a moron. tell her you're there for her and you want to do anything you can to help. then punch/slap yourself in the face.

Pyromaniac

10-25-2005, 12:19 PM

Okay, here's how I read it.

You are pissed/frustrated because something happened--and you couldn't do anything about it. It's a control issue.

Then, you're frustrated by another control issue--your perception that she didn't do "what she should have done" or "could have done" or "what you would have done"...

So. You need to stop blaming yourself for "not being there to protect her" or whatever--but more importantly, you need to stop blaming *her*. Don't be "pretty convinced that she did nothing wrong"--be absolutely certain of it. (And stop looking for something that she did wrong, anyway.)

Your only role here is to be supportive to her. As another poster said, let her take control of the situation. *your* control issues need to take a back seat. This includes not criticizing her or doing a "what could she have done better" or a "what should she do next time" line on things. You're not her parent--don't patronize her. Even if you think you're trying to be helpful, you're not and you'll only make things worse. "What do I do to protect myself" is a good question, but you are not the person to answer it.

As for the question of "justice", I tend to believe in karmic outcomes for these things--which is to say that if these dudes do this sort of thing out of habit, it *will* catch up with them. Whether or not that involves some action on your girlfriend's part is up to her, though--not you.

-my 2 P.

Dominic

10-25-2005, 12:27 PM

how pissed off should YOU be?

Wow, that has to be the most insensitive, narcisistic, unaware comment I've hear in a long time. Your girlfriend has a scary experience in a bar with two douchebags, she comes to you for comfort, and you want to know if you should be mad at her because she didn't "fight it off" the way you think she should have?

You're "pretty sure" she did nothing wrong because she didn't dress like she was asking for it?

Wow, this is like blaming the victim of a rape for how she dressed.

Break up with her. You're too immature and too big of a dick to have a girlfriend.

Seriously.

Jordan

10-25-2005, 12:57 PM

[ QUOTE ]
Wow, that has to be the most insensitive, narcisistic, unaware comment I've hear in a long time. Your girlfriend has a scary experience in a bar with two douchebags, she comes to you for comfort, and you want to know if you should be mad at her because she didn't "fight it off" the way you think she should have?

[/ QUOTE ]

I've clarified before... I am not pissed off at my girlfriend. Read my reply to El D.

[ QUOTE ]
You're "pretty sure" she did nothing wrong because she didn't dress like she was asking for it?

[/ QUOTE ]

I'm pretty sure she did nothing wrong because I believe she did nothing wrong. I included the description of what she was wearing because she included it when she told me the story. I didn't think it was terribly important, but included it in case it mattered to any of you.

[ QUOTE ]
Wow, this is like blaming the victim of a rape for how she dressed.

[/ QUOTE ]

You're making a big assumption here. I didn't intend to imply this at all.

Jordan

10-25-2005, 12:59 PM

[ QUOTE ]
Okay, here's how I read it.

[/ QUOTE ]

good read. you pretty much nailed it.

[ QUOTE ]
As for the question of "justice", I tend to believe in karmic outcomes for these things--which is to say that if these dudes do this sort of thing out of habit, it *will* catch up with them.

[/ QUOTE ]

I sure hope so.

Spladle Master

10-25-2005, 02:22 PM

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
even if i think there's a chance she could/should have taken more prevenative measures, i am certainly way more pissed off at the assholes than her. i'm doing my best to comfort her and convince her that it's not her fault.

[/ QUOTE ]

Wow, I thought rory was off base w/ his responses in this thread, but now that you clarify that you are pissed off "way more" at the guys than you are pissed off at her, I realize rory is right.

I sure hope this chick sees the light and dumps your sorry ass.

[/ QUOTE ]

Jordan

10-25-2005, 02:33 PM

wow, aren't you cool by quoting el diablo.

please... did you even read all of my responses?

Spladle Master

10-25-2005, 02:42 PM

[ QUOTE ]
wow, aren't you cool by quoting el diablo.

please... did you even read all of my responses?

[/ QUOTE ]

Yes, and I agree with the sentiments that I quoted.

Colonel Kataffy

10-25-2005, 02:46 PM

[ QUOTE ]
called himself (presumably to get her number)

[/ QUOTE ]

Then you have their number and can track them down. Go get pissed off at them or call the police or what ever. Don't get mad at your girl.

Ulysses

10-25-2005, 08:15 PM

Jordan,

People are reacting the way they are because you said things like this:

i am certainly way more pissed off at the assholes than her

That made it very clear to me that you were pissed off at both her and the guys. I thought you would clarify your post by saying something like "No, no, guys, I am not pissed off at her at all, she did nothing wrong. I am pissed off at this a-hole guys and this club, etc." But instead, you said that you are pissed off at her, and way more pissed off at the guys.

The fact that you were pissed off at her at all is sickening to many of us. That's all.

Perhaps you have reconsidered this. If so, good for you.