View Full Version : Post Your Favorite Funny Saying
DarkForceRising
10-23-2005, 06:38 PM
You know- Hotter than a two peckered billy goat, a couple fries short of a Happy Meal- stuff like that.
Eurotrash
10-23-2005, 06:39 PM
i kind of like this one
/images/graemlins/smirk.gif
jakethebake
10-23-2005, 06:39 PM
If I took your brain and shoved it up a gnat's ass, it would rattle like a BB in a boxcar.
DarkForceRising
10-23-2005, 06:43 PM
[ QUOTE ]
If I took your brain and shoved it up a gnat's ass, it would rattle like a BB in a boxcar.
[/ QUOTE ]
ROFL! Texans have an unfair edge with this stuff.
Sponger15SB
10-23-2005, 06:46 PM
[ QUOTE ]
You know- Hotter than a two peckered billy goat, a couple fries short of a Happy Meal- stuff like that.
[/ QUOTE ]
What happened to posting your favorite similes?
Drier than Gandhi's flip-flop.
diebitter
10-23-2005, 06:49 PM
As thick as a Gurkha's (http://dictionary.reference.com/search?r=2&q=Gurkha) foreskin
A London one, and I've no idea why Gurkha's are supposed to have thick foreskins, but they are famous for having bloody great knives, and maybe it's some reference to that.
Skipbidder
10-23-2005, 06:49 PM
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
You know- Hotter than a two peckered billy goat, a couple fries short of a Happy Meal- stuff like that.
[/ QUOTE ]
What happened to posting your favorite similes?
[/ QUOTE ]
I was trying to think of a funny way to make this post. I couldn't think of one. Glad to see that you couldn't either. Here, I'll add a smily /images/graemlins/grin.gif
Now you can't even be mad at me.
DarkForceRising
10-23-2005, 06:49 PM
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
You know- Hotter than a two peckered billy goat, a couple fries short of a Happy Meal- stuff like that.
[/ QUOTE ]
What happened to posting your favorite similes?
[/ QUOTE ]
Is simile not the correct term to descibe sayings like this?
mason55
10-23-2005, 06:50 PM
When did they change the definition of simile?
jason_t
10-23-2005, 06:51 PM
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
You know- Hotter than a two peckered billy goat, a couple fries short of a Happy Meal- stuff like that.
[/ QUOTE ]
What happened to posting your favorite similes?
[/ QUOTE ]
Is simile not the correct term to descibe sayings like this?
[/ QUOTE ]
No.
istewart
10-23-2005, 06:51 PM
I don't think anybody has listed a simile in this thread so far.
Eurotrash
10-23-2005, 06:51 PM
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
You know- Hotter than a two peckered billy goat, a couple fries short of a Happy Meal- stuff like that.
[/ QUOTE ]
What happened to posting your favorite similes?
[/ QUOTE ]
yeah, if I remember what I learned in 3rd grade, the simile uses "like" or "as" in the comparison, else it's a metaphor.
DarkForceRising
10-23-2005, 06:51 PM
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
You know- Hotter than a two peckered billy goat, a couple fries short of a Happy Meal- stuff like that.
[/ QUOTE ]
What happened to posting your favorite similes?
[/ QUOTE ]
I was trying to think of a funny way to make this post. I couldn't think of one. Glad to see that you couldn't either. Here, I'll add a smily /images/graemlins/grin.gif
Now you can't even be mad at me.
[/ QUOTE ]
Thanks. Go Sox, BTW.
mason55
10-23-2005, 06:51 PM
[ QUOTE ]
I don't think anybody has listed a simile in this thread so far.
[/ QUOTE ]
jake did
nothumb
10-23-2005, 06:54 PM
"Slicker than greased owl $hit"
NT
tmoore44
10-23-2005, 07:05 PM
Two of my recent favorites:
"hotter than doughnut grease"
"Everybody likes a little ass, but nobody likes a smart ass"
astroglide
10-23-2005, 07:07 PM
[ QUOTE ]
If I took your brain and shoved it up a gnat's ass, it would rattle like a BB in a boxcar.
[/ QUOTE ]
way too wordy
krazyace5
10-23-2005, 07:17 PM
I'm busier than a one legged man in a butt kickin contest.
My Grandpa always smoked filterless Camel cigarettes and he'd say smoking a filtered cigarette was like sucking a titty through a nightgown. /images/graemlins/grin.gif
Hamish McBagpipe
10-23-2005, 07:25 PM
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
If I took your brain and shoved it up a gnat's ass, it would rattle like a BB in a boxcar.
[/ QUOTE ] ROFL! Texans have an unfair edge with this stuff.
[/ QUOTE ]
This is a rewording of a Mark Twain/Samuel Clemens quote, and he ain't from Texas.
That guy gets more ass than a toilet seat...
MDoranD
Aces McGee
10-24-2005, 11:38 AM
[ QUOTE ]
"Slicker than greased owl $hit"
[/ QUOTE ]
My favorite is a variation of this: "Slicker than deer guts on a doornail." My father uses it all the time.
-McGee
drewjustdrew
10-24-2005, 11:58 AM
I wouldn't s*** you. You're my favorite turd.
diebitter
10-24-2005, 12:01 PM
At the moment, it's 'Bugger the Wanker!'
It amuses me.
MonkeeMan
10-24-2005, 12:07 PM
A few oldies but goodies:
Lower than whale sh$t.
Colder than a witch's t$t.
Busier than a one armed paper hanger. (I love that visual)
Tie:
I'm like the middle of the litter box...I'm always surrounded by
pussy.
Bigger and better than the Titanic, because only 400 women went down on the Titanic
Shajen
10-24-2005, 12:40 PM
busier than a 3-legged cat in a sandbox.
DarkForceRising
10-24-2005, 12:51 PM
Gay as a French trombone.
Cooler than the other side of the pillow.
More angles than an octagon.
The OP's ability to identify the difference between similes and metaphors sucks more dick than a state fed crack whore at the end of the month. /images/graemlins/blush.gif
Mars357
10-24-2005, 04:21 PM
From my Grandfather (may he rest in peace)
Hotter than the crack of Satan's ass
Spoken as
Hottern tha cracka Satan's ass.
TheCroShow
10-24-2005, 04:30 PM
that went through me like bacon through a duck
"Opinions are like a..holes, everyone’s got one."
he couldn't pour piss out of a boot if the instructions were on the heel
TheCroShow
10-24-2005, 04:37 PM
[ QUOTE ]
"Opinions are like a..holes, everyone’s got one."
[/ QUOTE ]
a friend of mine used to say "Excuses are like elbows...everyone has one." always thought that was a little random, but funny at the same time.
Crimson
10-24-2005, 04:41 PM
Fat chicks give better head cause they're hungry.
It's only gay if the balls touch. Here (http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendID=324 64704&Mytoken=CD2C72D1-1102-D433-79998CED0677DE9816930906) You might have to use the "standalone player"
mostsmooth
10-24-2005, 04:43 PM
happier than a dog with two dicks
(i realize its almost the same as the op billy goat thing, but this is much funnier)
miajag81
10-24-2005, 04:43 PM
"She's dumber than a bag o' hammers"
DMBFan23
10-24-2005, 04:45 PM
[ QUOTE ]
That guy gets more ass than a toilet seat...
MDoranD
[/ QUOTE ]
or gets more butt than an ashtray
"Looks like she fell down the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down."
"That dude has more chins than a Chinese phonebook."
"I was as scared as a cat in a room full of rocking chairs"
diebitter
10-24-2005, 04:52 PM
[ QUOTE ]
"Looks like she fell down the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down."
[/ QUOTE ]
and when she finally landed, the ugly tree then fell on top of her.
Georgia Avenue
10-24-2005, 05:03 PM
"And if a frog had wings, he wouldn't bump his ass a'hoppin!"
From Raising Arizona...makes no sense, yet is always appropriate.
mostsmooth
10-24-2005, 07:22 PM
i forgot to mention "tighter than a ten year old"
GrooveNougat
10-24-2005, 07:36 PM
Sweatin' like a whore in church.
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