Strip Clubs

[Jorge10]

Ok ive never been to an American strip club. When I visit my friends they live near the border so its the same distance to a mexican strip club as it is to an american one.

We usually head to the mexican one as you can get a somewhat private dance for like 8 bucks, in which the chick basically dances on top of your table and you touch whatever you want and lick whatever you want(mexican hoes licking is not recommended). There is also a chick dancing on stage if you want to go and grab something. Also they have private dances that are 20 bucks and you go to a room and she dances for you only and what not, havent actually done it as I cant imagine they would do anything that they dont already do for 8 bucks.

Anyway I was thinking of going to an American strip club maybe, but I dont know the Mexican ones are so cool. Also the chicks have implants and everything, very Americanized. Well just wanted to put info on mexican strip clubs as no one has mentioned them and also I was thinking of going to an American strip club instead of a Mexican one. Good idea? or no?

Thoughts?

I thought you could get a Mexican whore for like 20 bucks. Why mess around w/ a strip club?

go once. if its worth paying way more stay in the states, if not, practice your 'quitese la ropa'

[Jorge10]

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I thought you could get a Mexican whore for like 20 bucks. Why mess around w/ a strip club?

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Well we cant all just get whores, its like 4 of us and counting hotel rooms which cost as much as in the US it would just be insane. Also we just want to mess around, you know get a few drinks.

[Jorge10]

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go once. if its worth paying way more stay in the states, if not, practice your 'quitese la ropa'

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I forgot to ask about that, how are US prices in strip clubs?

[Wintermute]

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I forgot to ask about that, how are US prices in strip clubs?

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It depends on where you go. The most important thing about American strip clubs is to figure out what kind of alcohol/nudity combination you're getting into. Several places have clubs with seminude + alcohol, and fully nude with no alcohol, but no fully nude + alcohol. Prices...most clubs are $20 for a lap dance, but some places get as high as $40. There is also a wide range of what the stripper will do to you / let you do to her. Some places are fully nude and the strippers encourage you to fondle (I have never licked a stripper, you sick bastard). Others are seminude and the strippers won't even touch you much less let you touch them. Probably the worst lap dance I ever got was at this sh!thole in Boston over the summer called Centerfolds. This chick was damn hot so I fork over the $20. She takes me to a very public setting in the back of the club, and proceeds to literally dance about a yard in front of me for a song. She asks me if I want to continue, I'm drunk, assume she's going to start riding the pine on dance #2, and so I cough up another $20. At this point, the bottom comes off, but she never even begins to approach me. When she finished, I was too disgusted to even deliver my standard "Trimspa!" insult or something along those lines.

Best lap dance I ever got was in the Gold Club in New Orleans. Smoking hot chick, great outfit (imagine sexy librarian to a T), took me to very private booth, literally took my hands and forced me to grope her while she basically delivered an excellent quality handjob while squirming around in violent but sexy-librarianish ways. I will never forget that chick--she even genuinely appreciated my complements to her, such as "I could make a meal out of your ass for a week". Basically everything you look for in a stripper.

Best strip club overall, BTW, is hands down the Foxy Lady in Providence. Fully nude + alcohol. Honestly, I'd say it's worth a cross-country trip. You're going to drop a couple grand in there if you make it a noon-midnight visit like we always did back in college, and you will definitely walk away feeling like you got your money's worth. All chicks: smoking hot, and accessible (willing to drink w/ you and generally show you a good time). Drinks: strong, with extended happy hour. Atmosphere, music, etc: awesome. They also have hilarious entertainment such as hot-oil wrestling and whipped-cream eating contests. I'd say don't walk in there with more cash in your wallet than you're willing to spend, because you will spend it all.

I'm intrigued by your description of these Mexican titty bars, and I have a couple questions. First, are all the chicks mexican, or do they import american chicks too. Second, please get a $20 "performance" and report back. Third, is this the type of place where you can watch some dude sodomize a stripper with a wiffle ball bat while she simultaneously fellates a donkey, or do these joints have some measure of class?

Thanks.

[cwsiggy]

There is no sex in the champagne room!

[StevieG]

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Best strip club overall, BTW, is hands down the Foxy Lady in Providence. Fully nude + alcohol. Honestly, I'd say it's worth a cross-country trip.

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How many others have you been to that he might be passing on this cross-country trip? Because Foxy Lady does not make it into TUSCL's top 40 (http://www.tuscl.com/sc-top40.asp?mode=1)

[gergery]

You are like Zagat's, Rick Steves, and Consumer Reports all rolled into one.

-g

[Jorge10]

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(I have never licked a stripper, you sick bastard).

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I didnt say I did, I just said you could as I saw some people doing it. I have to say your tongue should fall off if you do it, I mean its like licking a dirty floor.

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she basically delivered an excellent quality handjob while squirming around in violent but sexy-librarianish ways.

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My friend did the 20 dollar thing in mex(he was very drunk) and he told me she basically told him to "whip it out", maybe a hand job was involved, but who knows, he was very drunk and I never remembered to ask him exactly what he got for the 20.

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Fully nude + alcohol.

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Thats how all the mex ones are, the chicks are generally pretty cool too, they drink with you and hang out with you if you buy them drinks.

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First, are all the chicks mexican, or do they import american chicks too.

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They are mexican, but they got implants and some die their hair and quite frankly I cant tell the difference after that.

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Second, please get a $20 "performance" and report back.

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Yes Sir!

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Third, is this the type of place where you can watch some dude sodomize a stripper with a wiffle ball bat while she simultaneously fellates a donkey, or do these joints have some measure of class?


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The one I went to was ok, a bunch of tables with space in the middle for the chick to dance and a stage for them to dance. A guy said he was getting married so he got a stage private dance type of thing, but nothing crazy, no animals were hurt. Overall pretty cool. Its a major city so there are definately standards at least in Mexicali, B.C.(the mexican city where I go). The chicks even get checked for stds, you can screw any of them for 100 bucks.

The prices are very similar to the American prices I think because of all of this. Also there are more upscale ones, there is a little area right accross the border that has a bunch of strip joints all together, thats were we go. They said there was some better ones and we picked a decent one, but not the best one.

Edit: About the licking, also the chick kept asking everyone at our table, I was like ummm no thanks.

[Wintermute]

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How many others have you been to that he might be passing on this cross-country trip? Because Foxy Lady does not make it into TUSCL's top 40 (http://www.tuscl.com/sc-top40.asp?mode=1)

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I haven't been to any of those, but I am not surprised at all that the list is dominated by the midwest and south. I'm sure that strip club quality goes up when you hit the red states--northeast probably suffers from too much latent feminism to compete.

[Wintermute]

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You are like Zagat's, Rick Steves, and Consumer Reports all rolled into one.

-g

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Hm. "Wintermute's Strippers Through the Back Door" does have a nifty ring to it.

[Iron Tigran]

This list has Austin's Yellow Rose as #37. YR is not even the best club in Austin. I'd give that to Perfect 10.

When men leave strip clubs, do they generally all have boners when they are walking out?

[StevieG]

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I haven't been to any of those, but I am not surprised at all that the list is dominated by the midwest and south. I'm sure that strip club quality goes up when you hit the red states--northeast probably suffers from too much latent feminism to compete.

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I'm surprised by some of them. For instance, nothing in Minneapolis (air dances only) should qualify for top 40. No way.

However, the political analogy is thin.

Yes, the blue state clubs are outnumbered 25-12 (2 are in Ontario, one in Mexico), but that gets a lot closer if you look just at the top 30, where red state clubs have only a 17-11 advantage.

The average rank of the blue state club is 19.5, compared to 21.7 for the red state clubs. The the average reviewer score for top 40 red state clubs is 8.1, same as the blue state clubs.

For comparison, of the 46 U.S. restaurants that earned five diamonds from AAA in 2005, 22 are in red states and 24 are in blue states.

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When men leave strip clubs, do they generally all have boners when they are walking out?

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Not if they jacked off in the private room 5 minutes earlier.

[StevieG]

Yeah, I have issues with The Lodge, too. Last time I was there was a drag. Baby Doll's was more fun.

I think part of the problem with the list is that they require a min number of reviews, and the old ones don't seem to expire.

FYI, Perfect 10 in Austin averages 7.3 from 27 reviews.

[TheMetetron]

Madonna's. Tijuana. All you need to know.

$20 in the back room is awesome.

[JustToast]

Sundowner, Niagara Falls Canada.

Full nude, full booze, very awesome.

Oh, and mexico sounds like fun.

[marsvolta619]

TJ strip clubs are ok, just watch out for any strange bulges. Blowjobs are done with a condom on and thats as far as I've gone. My friend railed some chick in the motel next door but he was too drunk to remember. Anyways, this is coming from a not huge strip club fan, but I wouldn't go out of my way for TJ clubs unless you want your dick sucked. If you're going for the fun of it, USA is just fine

[tonypaladino]

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(I have never licked a stripper, you sick bastard).

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I didnt say I did, I just said you could as I saw some people doing it. I have to say your tongue should fall off if you do it, I mean its like licking a dirty floor.

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i licked a stripper this weekend. my tounge is fine.