lets write a story - whatever OOT produces, ill turn in

[RiverFenix]

I have to write a piece of short fiction revolving around lust & love in college for a class that I'm in. I think its a ridiculous assignment and I thought it would be more interesting if OOT wrote it. I had the idea from the somewhat famous internet email about the boy & girl who co-wrote a piece of short fiction writing one paragraph at a time and then alternating and it turned into mayhem(dont have a link, but very funny). So basically I figured I'd do the same thing here if OOT wants to participate, I think it could be fun since OOT could make it pretty absurd. There are no real restrictions, but lust/love & college have to be central to the story. Vulgarity is ok, but to a minimum.

Ill start with a generic introduction.

Michael Urlach, a 5th year senior at City University, was unprepared to graduate and start working. He had so many memories over the last 5 years that he felt he could never leave. Starting a career and family seemed so far into the future to him yet they were right around the corner. "How can I be ready to start a family and find a wife when I have never known love?", he often mused. He always took solace in the fact that perhaps college wasn't the place, and that it was a time for young lust.

[SL__72]

Then one night in Lexington he met a young coed who called him "Lexington Mike."

[CardSharpCook]

why does every OOT story turn into a rehash of Chuddo's Big Adventure? Get some freaking imagination losers! Or at the very least, steal your ideas from somewhere else.

[Georgia Avenue]

[ QUOTE ]
Then one night in Lexington he met a young coed who called him "Lexington Mike."

[/ QUOTE ]

Her name was Cassandra. She claimed to be able to see the future but...

(PS, If you're one of my students, you're going to fail...)

[CardSharpCook]

Well, he had one more semester and with only 9 credits to fulfill (one of them a P.E. class) he decided that he better have some fun. While Mike was a bit of a computer nerd (he'd happily talk for hours about his stats and theories on World of Warcraft), he did have a few "normal" friends. If he was going to have some fun and maybe get laid a few times, he'd have to enlist Steve's help.

[gamblore99]

[ QUOTE ]
Well, he had one more semester and with only 9 credits to fulfill (one of them a P.E. class) he decided that he better have some fun. While Mike was a bit of a computer nerd (he'd happily talk for hours about his stats and theories on World of Warcraft), he did have a few "normal" friends. If he was going to have some fun and maybe get laid a few times, he'd have to enlist Steve's help.

[/ QUOTE ]

Steve was a good friend. He had stuck by him during the "accident" which had changed his life so dramatically. Now a year later, things were getting back to normal. As normal as can be for someone with no left arm. If only someone had seen the out of control zamboni...

[4_2_it]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Then one night in Lexington he met a young coed who called him "Lexington Mike."

[/ QUOTE ]

Her name was Cassandra. She claimed to be able to see the future but...


[/ QUOTE ]

she played the lottery every week and never got more than three numbers correct.

[CardSharpCook]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Well, he had one more semester and with only 9 credits to fulfill (one of them a P.E. class) he decided that he better have some fun. While Mike was a bit of a computer nerd (he'd happily talk for hours about his stats and theories on World of Warcraft), he did have a few "normal" friends. If he was going to have some fun and maybe get laid a few times, he'd have to enlist Steve's help.

[/ QUOTE ]

Steve was a good friend. He had stuck by him during the "accident" which had changed his life so dramatically. Now a year later, things were getting back to normal. As normal as can be for someone with no left arm. If only someone had seen the out of control zamboni...

[/ QUOTE ]

"Yo Steve-O!!" He shouted into the phone, "You think you can help a one-armed man get laid?"
"Out of control zamboni, my ass!" Steve exclaimed, "Mikey, you gotta play up the pity angle. THAT'S your key!!! You didn't get run over by an ice-smoother, you got your arm torn off in a school bus accident in which you dragged 3 kids to safety before the gas tank exploded! My boy,. you'll be in like Flynn! I'll pick you up at 8. We'll cruise on down to Mad Hattie's."

[Cancuk]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Well, he had one more semester and with only 9 credits to fulfill (one of them a P.E. class) he decided that he better have some fun. While Mike was a bit of a computer nerd (he'd happily talk for hours about his stats and theories on World of Warcraft), he did have a few "normal" friends. If he was going to have some fun and maybe get laid a few times, he'd have to enlist Steve's help.

[/ QUOTE ]

Steve was a good friend. He had stuck by him during the "accident" which had changed his life so dramatically. Now a year later, things were getting back to normal. As normal as can be for someone with no left arm. If only someone had seen the out of control zamboni...

[/ QUOTE ]

But that's over now, in the past. Steve. Steve was, in all aspects of his life, infactuated with every female that he looked at and he made sure they knew it. He would comment on a women's bust just loud enough so they could hear; his comments where never negative. Steve had joined a fraternity right when he arrive at CityU, for one reason and one reason only, drunk chicks.

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Well, he had one more semester and with only 9 credits to fulfill (one of them a P.E. class) he decided that he better have some fun. While Mike was a bit of a computer nerd (he'd happily talk for hours about his stats and theories on World of Warcraft), he did have a few "normal" friends. If he was going to have some fun and maybe get laid a few times, he'd have to enlist Steve's help.

[/ QUOTE ]

Steve was a good friend. He had stuck by him during the "accident" which had changed his life so dramatically. Now a year later, things were getting back to normal. As normal as can be for someone with no left arm. If only someone had seen the out of control zamboni...

[/ QUOTE ]

But that's over now, in the past. Steve. Steve was, in all aspects of his life, infactuated with every female that he looked at and he made sure they knew it. He would comment on a women's bust just loud enough so they could hear; his comments where never negative. Steve had joined a fraternity right when he arrive at CityU, for one reason and one reason only, drunk chicks.

[/ QUOTE ]

But before the drunk chicks, there was that fateful night at Teddy KGBs place playing pot limit omaha for his life....

[housenuts]

[ QUOTE ]

But that's over now, in the past. Steve. Steve was, in all aspects of his life, infactuated with every female that he looked at and he made sure they knew it. He would comment on a women's bust just loud enough so they could hear; his comments where never negative. Steve had joined a fraternity right when he arrive at CityU, for one reason and one reason only, drunk chicks,

[/ QUOTE ] or in his vocabulary, wounded animals. It was a surefire bet that Steve would have at least one, if not two, wounded animals draped under his arms at the end of the night. Mike, who often struck out, would usually accompany Steve home with his assortment of women. This generally worked out in Mike's favor because he would be left to tend to one of these fine specimens. Although he felt guilty because the girls were heavily intoxicated he realized it was his best chance at getting laid. He always practiced safe sex, whereas his counterpart Steve had no regard for sexually transmitted diseases or pregnancy. Steve has admittedly "shagged over 40 women, never using a condom once", while only once did Mike venture into this riskee practice. Through a twist of fate though it was Mike who impregnated one of these girls. Call it irony or bad luck but his life was about to change.

[J.A.Sucker]

... and poor Michael would rather have a bunch of degenerates do his assignment for him, leaving him more time to watch internet pornography and masturbate like a spider-monkey. Upon this realization, poor Michael decided it would be best to write his own story, so that his inner creative juices could be stoked more than his other inner juices. Besides, his nuts were getting sore.

[asofel]

[ QUOTE ]
... and poor Michael would rather have a bunch of degenerates do his assignment for him, leaving him more time to watch internet pornography and masturbate like a spider-monkey. Upon this realization, poor Michael decided it would be best to write his own story, so that his inner creative juices could be stoked more than his other inner juices. Besides, his nuts were getting sore.

[/ QUOTE ]

post in OOT more

[Dominic]

do your own damn homework, slacker

[steaknshake925]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Well, he had one more semester and with only 9 credits to fulfill (one of them a P.E. class) he decided that he better have some fun. While Mike was a bit of a computer nerd (he'd happily talk for hours about his stats and theories on World of Warcraft), he did have a few "normal" friends. If he was going to have some fun and maybe get laid a few times, he'd have to enlist Steve's help.

[/ QUOTE ]

Steve was a good friend. He had stuck by him during the "accident" which had changed his life so dramatically. Now a year later, things were getting back to normal. As normal as can be for someone with no left arm. If only someone had seen the out of control zamboni...

[/ QUOTE ]

"Yo Steve-O!!" He shouted into the phone, "You think you can help a one-armed man get laid?"
"Out of control zamboni, my ass!" Steve exclaimed, "Mikey, you gotta play up the pity angle. THAT'S your key!!! You didn't get run over by an ice-smoother, you got your arm torn off in a school bus accident in which you dragged 3 kids to safety before the gas tank exploded! My boy,. you'll be in like Flynn! I'll pick you up at 8. We'll cruise on down to Mad Hattie's."

[/ QUOTE ]

When suddenly, a crazed terrorist appeared out of nowhere and suicide bombed Michael, taking out his other arm. "[censored], i have no arms!" said Michael. so he went and played in the World Series of Poker, where he played poker using only his feet. there he met a cute Japanese chick who won her entry on a Japanese game show, and they hit it off really well. Michael was about to take her to his room when her boyfriend, an evil ninja, silently snuck up behind him and cut off his head with a katana.

[J.A.Sucker]

OK.

I always like stories that begin, "It was a dark and stormy night."

/images/graemlins/grin.gif

[Jerkass333]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Well, he had one more semester and with only 9 credits to fulfill (one of them a P.E. class) he decided that he better have some fun. While Mike was a bit of a computer nerd (he'd happily talk for hours about his stats and theories on World of Warcraft), he did have a few "normal" friends. If he was going to have some fun and maybe get laid a few times, he'd have to enlist Steve's help.

[/ QUOTE ]

Steve was a good friend. He had stuck by him during the "accident" which had changed his life so dramatically. Now a year later, things were getting back to normal. As normal as can be for someone with no left arm. If only someone had seen the out of control zamboni...

[/ QUOTE ]

"Yo Steve-O!!" He shouted into the phone, "You think you can help a one-armed man get laid?"
"Out of control zamboni, my ass!" Steve exclaimed, "Mikey, you gotta play up the pity angle. THAT'S your key!!! You didn't get run over by an ice-smoother, you got your arm torn off in a school bus accident in which you dragged 3 kids to safety before the gas tank exploded! My boy,. you'll be in like Flynn! I'll pick you up at 8. We'll cruise on down to Mad Hattie's."

[/ QUOTE ]

When suddenly, a crazed terrorist appeared out of nowhere and suicide bombed Michael, taking out his other arm. "[censored], i have no arms!" said Michael. so he went and played in the World Series of Poker, where he played poker using only his feet. there he met a cute Japanese chick who won her entry on a Japanese game show, and they hit it off really well. Michael was about to take her to his room when her boyfriend, an evil ninja, silently snuck up behind him and cut off his head with a katana.

[/ QUOTE ]

Little did the ninja know that the katana was haunted. By the spirit of an even eviler ninja. With a ghost katana. The ghost katana was not haunted.

[Tablerat]

[ QUOTE ]
idea from the somewhat famous internet email about the boy & girl who co-wrote a piece of short fiction writing one paragraph at a time and then alternating and it turned into mayhem(dont have a link, but very funny).

[/ QUOTE ]

Here it is:


"Today we will experiment with a new form of composition called the tandem story.
The process is simple. Each person will pair off with the person sitting to his or
her immediate right. One of you will then write the first paragraph of a short
story. The partner will read the first paragraph and then add another paragraph
to the story. The first person will then add a third paragraph, and so on back
and forth. Remember to reread what has been written each time in order to keep
the story coherent. There is to be absolutely NO talking and anything you wish
to say must be written on the paper. The story is over when both agree a
conclusion has been reached."


The following was actually turned in by two of my English students:
Rebecca -last name deleted, and Gary - last name deleted.


STORY:

(first paragraph by Rebecca)

At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea she wanted. The camomile,
which used to be her favorite for lazy evenings at home, now reminded her too
much of Carl, who once said, in happier times, that he liked camomile. But she
felt she must now, at all costs, keep her mind off Carl. His possessiveness
was suffocating, and if she thought about him too much her asthma started
acting up again. So camomile was out of the question.


(second paragraph by Gary)

Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack squadron now in
orbit over Skylon 4, had more important things to think about than the neuroses
of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named Laurie with whom he had spent one sweaty
night over a year ago. "A.S. Harris to Geostation 17," he said into his
transgalactic communicator "Polar orbit established. No sign of resistance so
far..." But before he could sign off, a bluish particle beam flashed out of
nowhere and blasted a hole through his ship's cargo bay. The jolt from the direct
hit sent him flying out of his seat and across the cockpit.


(Rebecca)

He bumped his head and died almost immediately but not before he felt one last
pang of regret for psychically brutalizing the one woman who had ever had feelings
for him. Soon afterwards, Earth stopped its pointless hostilities towards the
peaceful farmers of Skylon 4. "Congress Passes Law Permanently Abolishing War and
Space Travel," Laurie read in her newspaper one morning. The news simultaneously
excited her and bored her. She stared out the window, dreaming of her youth, when
the days had passed unhurriedly and carefree, with no newspapers to read, no
television to distract her from her sense of innocent wonder at all the beautiful
things around her. "Why must one lose one's innocence to become a woman?" she
pondered wistfully.


(Gary)

Little did she know, but she had less than 10 seconds to live. Thousands of miles
above the city, the Anu'udrian mothership launched the first of its lithium fusion
missiles. The dim-witted wimpy peaceniks who pushed the Unilateral Aerospace
Disarmament Treaty through the congress had left Earth a defenseless target for
the hostile alien empires who were determined to destroy the human race. Within
two hours after the passage of the treaty the Anu'udrian ships were on course for
Earth, carrying enough firepower to pulverize the entire planet. With no one to
stop them, they swiftly initiated their diabolical plan. The lithium fusion missile
entered the atmosphere unimpeded. The President, in his top-secret Mobile submarine
headquarters on the ocean floor off the coast of Guam, felt the inconceivably massive
explosion, which vaporized poor, stupid, Laurie and 85 million other Americans. The
President slammed his fist on the conference table. "We can't allow this! I'm going
to veto that treaty! Let's blow 'em out of the sky!"


(Rebecca)

This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of literature. My writing partner
is a violent, chauvinistic semi-literate adolescent.


(Gary)

Yeah? Well, you're a self-centered tedious neurotic whose attempts at writing are
the literary equivalent of Valium. "Oh shall I have camomile tea? Or shall I have
some other sort of F***ING TEA??? Oh no, I'm an air headed bimbo who reads too many Danielle Steele novels."

(Rebecca)

[censored].


(Gary)

Bitch.


(Rebecca)

Wanker.

(Gary)

Slut.

(Rebecca)

Get f****d.

(Gary)

Eat s**t.

(Rebecca)

F*** YOU - YOU NEANDERTHAL!!!


(Gary)

Go drink some tea - whore.


(Teacher)

A+ - I really liked this one.

[ QUOTE ]
Little did the ninja know that the katana was haunted. By the spirit of an even eviler ninja. With a ghost katana. The ghost katana was not haunted.

[/ QUOTE ]

As he fell to the ground, Mike's spirit lifted and joined the force of the many ninjas that had been slayed mercilessly before him. As the 1000th victim of the ghost katana lay bleeding in the gutter, a mysterious sword appeared in a stone over 3000 miles away in the deep cold of the outskirts of Iqaluit, Nunavut (http://www.nunavuttourism.com/site/default.asp). Located at the center of a 2-billion-year-old iceberg, it was likely that the Skeleton Katana would never be retrieved...

[DaffyDuck]

That is the funniest thing I have ever read in an internet forum.