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The Don
10-05-2005, 01:16 AM
For anyone who plays me on a regular basis, I have decided to do you all a favor and write out a step-by-step guide on how to stack me in levels 1 and 2. Be sure to put it in you notes.

Step 1: Preflop play

Be sure to limp with small pairs at all times. This is probably the best way to stack me. Here is an example:

***** Hand History for Game 2827022547 *****
NL Texas Hold'em $50 Buy-in + $5 Entry Fee Trny:16338056 Level:2 Blinds(15/30) - Tuesday, October 04, 23:21:01 EDT 2005
Table Table 12196 (Real Money)
Seat 5 is the button
Total number of players : 10
Seat 1: gator2854 ( $1012 )
Seat 2: vblifer ( $210 )
Seat 3: TOMCULATER ( $915 )
Seat 4: dhende3 ( $998 )
Seat 5: daaplaya ( $805 )
Seat 6: Lucki4me ( $930 )
Seat 7: Pokertocash ( $930 )
Seat 8: briansfv ( $1795 )
Seat 9: kgthepro ( $1085 )
Seat 10: AlwysEnuff ( $1320 )
Trny:16338056 Level:2
Blinds(15/30)
** Dealing down cards **
Dealt to dhende3 [ Kc Ac ]
briansfv calls [30].
kgthepro folds.
AlwysEnuff folds.
gator2854 folds.
vblifer folds.
TOMCULATER folds.

When I raise 4x, make sure to call getting 2.1 to 1 even though you are playing for set value and the odds of hitting your set are roughly 7.3 to 1.

dhende3 raises [120].
daaplaya folds.
Lucki4me folds.
Pokertocash folds.
>You have options at Table 19586 Table!.
briansfv calls [90].


Step 2: The Flop

This is the most important part, I cannot emphasize this enough... HIT YOUR SET. If you cannot hit your set then you are a failure and should probably quit poker. Also, you should probably make sure that I get a piece with my AK or that I am holding an overpair on an uncoordinated board.

** Dealing Flop ** [ Th, Ad, 3d ]

If you limped with a really inconspicuous pair like 33 then that is even better. The fact that there is also a flush draw out there really helps your odds too.

briansfv checks.
dhende3 bets [200].
briansfv raises [400].
dhende3 is all-In [678]
briansfv calls [478].

Ah, the check-you're already pot-committed if you call so either move in or make a hard as hell fold min-raise. Brilliant move. Here you have basically told me that you have a monster hand. Since you know that I consider the majority of online poker players idiots, there is no way I can put you one anything but a weaker Ace or a flush draw (even though you have basically informed me of your set). Watch as I move in and proceed to give you my chips.

** Dealing Turn ** [ 4h ]
** Dealing River ** [ 4d ]
briansfv shows [ 3s, 3h ] a full house, Threes full of fours.
dhende3 shows [ Kc, Ac ] two pairs, aces and fours.
briansfv wins 2041 chips from the main pot with a full house, Threes full of fours.
dhende3 finished in tenth place.
dhende3 has left the table.


Step 3: Using my chips

When using my chips I suggest that you play the exact way as you did before. For one, disregard pot odds, they are unimportant (make sure to play small pairs at ANY cost). Next, HIT YOUR SETS, your entire strategy has been rendered obsolete if fail to do this. Finally, make sure to go with the ultra tricky check min-raise. This is smart because if I have KK-JJ, you have allowed me to get away from my hand by making the strength of yours so obvious. No matter though, you are 200 chips richer and you played your set in the very fashionable manner similar to what you saw on TV.



Note: This was not a bad beat post or a serious post at all... IT WAS SATIRICAL. I know a lot of people silently curse out themselves/opponent in situations like this so I thought I would poke a little fun at it.

Freudian
10-05-2005, 01:32 AM
[ QUOTE ]

Note: This was not a bad beat post or a serious post at all... IT WAS SATIRICAL.

[/ QUOTE ]

I may have been satirical, but it is still a bad beat post. /images/graemlins/wink.gif

I think the important lesson of this hand is "beware of the donk flop-minraise, it means something...".

ewing55
10-05-2005, 01:38 AM
WOW, that's exactly how they stack me! Is there any way to not lose to donks???

Let me give you some other examples......Oh, nevermind. /images/graemlins/laugh.gif

---------------Jeff

The Don
10-05-2005, 01:51 AM
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]

Note: This was not a bad beat post or a serious post at all... IT WAS SATIRICAL.

[/ QUOTE ]

I may have been satirical, but it is still a bad beat post. /images/graemlins/wink.gif

I think the important lesson of this hand is "beware of the donk flop-minraise, it means something...".

[/ QUOTE ]


It isn't possible to consider this a bad beat because I got my chips in with the worst hand. More like a bad situation... /images/graemlins/frown.gif

Mr_J
10-05-2005, 01:53 AM
I've come across a number of people who have flop minraised me and then folded to my push, so some people obviously think it's a good way to bluff.

Karak567
10-05-2005, 01:55 AM
I just lost with AK to a set of 3s on a K43 flop as well about 5 minutes ago.

I didn't need to post about it.

The Don
10-05-2005, 02:01 AM
[ QUOTE ]
I just lost with AK to a set of 3s on a K43 flop as well about 5 minutes ago.

I didn't need to post about it.

[/ QUOTE ]

Ha, it happends all the time... I know. The point of this post is for comedy's sake (as stated on the bottom). Is it me or do STTers in particular have terrible senses of humor. I wrote this in basically the exact style of the world famous satirist 'Maddox' (www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net). My friend who knows only the basics of poker thought it was funny as hell. Oh well, I will successfully come out with something people will laugh at on this forum one of these days.

TheSalche
10-05-2005, 02:09 AM
i liked it /images/graemlins/grin.gif

didn't find it to be a bad beat post, there wasn't enough swearing and/or throwing mice involved

maddox would be proud

The Don
10-05-2005, 02:18 AM
One more note... If you read this (assuming you skipped the last paragraph) and couldn't tell I was being facetious then here is my suggestion: QUIT POKER. Your intuition is so bad that you will be relagated to pushbotting in low-limit SNGs for a meager return for the rest of your career.

10-05-2005, 02:40 AM
Your last paragraph made me feel really dumb. I was going throught this saying "wow, this is good stuff!". Then the "oh, Im really stupid" set in.

Real funny though. When I finially got, that is

mike28
10-05-2005, 02:43 AM
or just call 12x bbs with a8 and suckout

fckn rigged [censored]

Nicholasp27
10-05-2005, 10:02 AM
[ QUOTE ]
When I raise 4x, make sure to call getting 2.1 to 1 even though you are playing for set value and the odds of hitting your set are roughly 7.3 to 1.

[/ QUOTE ]

read up on implied odds...sure looks like he made more than 7.3x the bet when he called you...

Big Limpin'
10-05-2005, 10:51 AM
You post reads well, and i enjoyed it.

Something seemingly out of place though, either...uhhh...doubly-reverse satirical/images/graemlins/confused.gif /images/graemlins/confused.gif??? was:
[ QUOTE ]
When I raise 4x, make sure to call getting 2.1 to 1 even though you are playing for set value and the odds of hitting your set are roughly 7.3 to 1.

[/ QUOTE ]...which gives implications that the small PP was out of line to give play to your "monster". PP dude can rest assured he will get STACKED when he spikes, unless the board totally freaks you out, in which case he gets at least whats already in there (t250?).

THe only difference, if you were playing me, is i would have lead out the flop with my set. But in this case, we STACK no matter what. /images/graemlins/ooo.gif

The Don, i am reminded of Chineese proverb (or something), goes [ QUOTE ]
When no tiger in jungle, monkey is king

[/ QUOTE ] Here, of course, AK is the monkey, and having flopped TP, believes "no tiger in jungle". http://homepage.mac.com/alexmagill/sad-monkey.jpg
But sometimes there is, and monkey gets pwned.

Big Limpin'
10-05-2005, 10:53 AM
Oh, and at 1000 chips verus 800, "tigers" have a better time of it indeed.
What sucks for this guy is that you didnt still have a full t1000 to give him if he lands a set.

The Don
10-05-2005, 12:07 PM
Now I know why Maddox gets so much hate mail. I am not trying to state that I am great at poker here... I INTENTIONALLY ignored implied odds (although his play is still -EV even with implied, I didn't want to bore the reader with minute details) because that makes it more humorous.

I don't want to get into a poker discussion but he would have to make an average of roughly 462 chips AFTER the flop whenever he hits his set (assuming he is playing solely for set value) to make this play profitable. There is no way he does this (Assuming my PF range is 99-AA, AQ, AK... which is tighter than mine but quite standard). There are also those rare situation where he will lose to set over set or a turn/rivered flush straight.

Nicholasp27
10-05-2005, 12:10 PM
the 90 that he called was 5% of his stack and <10% of yours...he also had 1795 chips, so the 90 chips wouldn't really affect him...but stacking your 900 would...that's an important thing to think about in sngs...

The Don
10-05-2005, 12:13 PM
[ QUOTE ]
the 90 that he called was 5% of his stack and <10% of yours...he also had 1795 chips, so the 90 chips wouldn't really affect him...but stacking your 900 would...that's an important thing to think about in sngs...

[/ QUOTE ]

Ok I give up, I think you are missing the self-deprecating nature of my writing.

Nicholasp27
10-05-2005, 12:16 PM
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
the 90 that he called was 5% of his stack and <10% of yours...he also had 1795 chips, so the 90 chips wouldn't really affect him...but stacking your 900 would...that's an important thing to think about in sngs...

[/ QUOTE ]

Ok I give up, I think you are missing the self-deprecating nature of my writing.

[/ QUOTE ]

that was your OP...i was responding to the following, in which it seemed like you were being serious

[ QUOTE ]
I don't want to get into a poker discussion but he would have to make an average of roughly 462 chips AFTER the flop whenever he hits his set (assuming he is playing solely for set value) to make this play profitable. There is no way he does this (Assuming my PF range is 99-AA, AQ, AK... which is tighter than mine but quite standard). There are also those rare situation where he will lose to set over set or a turn/rivered flush straight.

[/ QUOTE ]

downtown
10-05-2005, 12:18 PM
[ QUOTE ]
Now I know why Maddox gets so much hate mail.

[/ QUOTE ]

OT HIJACK: No offense, but it's apples to oranges. (I am no Maddox either...)

pooh74
10-05-2005, 12:20 PM
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
When I raise 4x, make sure to call getting 2.1 to 1 even though you are playing for set value and the odds of hitting your set are roughly 7.3 to 1.

[/ QUOTE ]

read up on implied odds...sure looks like he made more than 7.3x the bet when he called you...

[/ QUOTE ]

really...I wouldve played it just like the donk did! In fact your raise means I'm even MORE likely to get paid off if i hit my set.

If villain=donk then pooh=donk, but we all knew that anyhow.

Nicholasp27
10-05-2005, 12:22 PM
yeah, i like limping for set value more when they raise than when they don't for that very reason

TheNoodleMan
10-05-2005, 12:35 PM
[ QUOTE ]
i liked it /images/graemlins/grin.gif

didn't find it to be a bad beat post, there wasn't enough swearing and/or throwing mice involved

maddox would be proud

[/ QUOTE ]
Have you ever actually read any Maddox? He hates crappy knock offs.

The Don
10-05-2005, 02:16 PM
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
i liked it /images/graemlins/grin.gif

didn't find it to be a bad beat post, there wasn't enough swearing and/or throwing mice involved
maddox would be proud

[/ QUOTE ]
Have you ever actually read any Maddox? He hates crappy knock offs.

[/ QUOTE ]

Well, if I decided to randomly go on an anti-hippy/feminist/vegitarians/people-who-drive-souped-up-civics rant in the middle then he would consider me a knock off. Otherwise, his writing style (albeit at the highest possible level of cynillity) is fairly standard among satirical writers.

Also, I tried to justify myself mathematically 10 minutes before I went to class and didn't look at all the factors (read: I was wrong). I still think the argument is pointless given the self-deprecating nature of the OP. I wasn't looking for a poker discussion here.