Spice up the relationship

[WackityWhiz]

Those of you who saw that comic I made and know the story behind our relationship, I just want to tell you that the comic was just a joke /images/graemlins/tongue.gif

We are back together but things aren't completely back to normal. Gimme some suggestions to strengthen the relationship so that it lasts this time. Our sex life definately needs some spicing up. We need to do more fun things... we just need to have more fun. Gimme some ideas please!

FIX MY RELATIONSHIP!!!!

[jakethebake]

[ QUOTE ]
FIX MY RELATIONSHIP!!!!

[/ QUOTE ]

This should be fun. I'll start...magic finger.

[asofel]

[ QUOTE ]
Those of you who saw that comic I made and know the story behind our relationship, I just want to tell you that the comic was just a joke /images/graemlins/tongue.gif

We are back together but things aren't completely back to normal. Gimme some suggestions to strengthen the relationship so that it lasts this time. Our sex life definately needs some spicing up. We need to do more fun things... we just need to have more fun. Gimme some ideas please!

FIX MY RELATIONSHIP!!!!

[/ QUOTE ]

background info needed. How boring/bad/dull is your sex life currently?

[WackityWhiz]

I'm going home for the afternoon so I won't be here to answer any questions. I would really appreciate some responses!

Magic Finger - Check

[Mike Peters]

I'd start with something like your avatar.

[WackityWhiz]

Well, over the last 2 years (of a 4 year relationship) we probably have sex once every week and a half. The first two years it was probably twice a week.

I'm not 21 yet, she just turned, so she is going to be going out to the bars on occasion and I just want to make sure that she stays in love with me.

We usually hang out with the same group of 8-10 people on the weekends and go on a one on one date every 3 weeks or so. When we do something alone, it's usually a movie or just sitting around and watching TV.

I'd tell more, but I'm late already.

Thanks in advance

[TheMainEvent]

Try missionary

[jakethebake]

[ QUOTE ]
Well, over the last 2 years (of a 4 year relationship) we probably have sex once every week and a half. The first two years it was probably twice a week.

[/ QUOTE ]

Yea. You've really slowed down. I hate you. /images/graemlins/tongue.gif

[slickpoppa]

Have sex in a semi-public place where it will be possible to get caught.

[jba]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Well, over the last 2 years (of a 4 year relationship) we probably have sex once every week and a half. The first two years it was probably twice a week.

[/ QUOTE ]

Yea. You've really slowed down. I hate you. /images/graemlins/tongue.gif

[/ QUOTE ]

I'm not really trying to make an old guy joke here, but once every 10 days is pretty bad for two 20 year olds.

[Smackdab]

[ QUOTE ]
Well, over the last 2 years (of a 4 year relationship) we probably have sex once every week and a half. The first two years it was probably twice a week.


[/ QUOTE ]

Your relationship is doomed. Hey, sex isn't everything but when everythings else goes to hell sex itself can be sustaining. I was married for 16 years. Even in the last 2-3 years when things were going south we still had sex 4x/week. At the beginning it had to average more than once a day. Either one or both of you have below average libidos or youo both just suck at sex and neither one is interested because of that. I am truly saddened to see that the sex drive of our nation's youth has hit such a bottom. The fall of democracy itself cannot be far behind.

[diebitter]

[ QUOTE ]
Well, over the last 2 years (of a 4 year relationship) we probably have sex once every week and a half.

[/ QUOTE ]

you lucky bugger.

[MrTrik]

If she is comfortable with her body, you need to buy her something extremely sensual to wear. Like a camasole or skimpy bra/panty set. Then get her to wear it for you. You need to make a big deal of checking it out from every angle. With more than just your looks and your hands. She'll love the attention and ride you (or beg for you) until you are spent.

[Action Scott]

[ QUOTE ]
Have sex in a semi-public place where it will be possible to get caught.

[/ QUOTE ]
Don't forget to take pics and post them here

[asofel]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Well, over the last 2 years (of a 4 year relationship) we probably have sex once every week and a half. The first two years it was probably twice a week.

[/ QUOTE ]

Yea. You've really slowed down. I hate you. /images/graemlins/tongue.gif

[/ QUOTE ]

I'm not really trying to make an old guy joke here, but once every 10 days is pretty bad for two 20 year olds.

[/ QUOTE ]

no kidding...

here's a thought: take a day for just the two of you, physically....get oils, food, toys, videos, whatever is cool between you too, and just enjoy each other. If any of the above are new to you then try it. Is your gf comfortable with sex and talking about things? Will she experiment at all? Have you ever making a video?

If you both love each other then it shouldn't be hard to have a deep desire to make the other feel incredible...do your part and do research...there are plenty of books and things to read that teach you everything like basic massage, erotic massage, and various techniques for all sorts of sexual manuevers. What do you think her attidude is in all of this? If she's just complacent and fine with things being the way they are then you probably need to have a talk...

[4_2_it]

[ QUOTE ]
I'm not really trying to make an old guy joke here, but once every 10 days is pretty bad for two 20 year olds, but is nirvana after 15 years of marriage

[/ QUOTE ]

FYP

[WackityWhiz]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Well, over the last 2 years (of a 4 year relationship) we probably have sex once every week and a half. The first two years it was probably twice a week.


[/ QUOTE ]

Your relationship is doomed. Hey, sex isn't everything but when everythings else goes to hell sex itself can be sustaining. I was married for 16 years. Even in the last 2-3 years when things were going south we still had sex 4x/week. At the beginning it had to average more than once a day. Either one or both of you have below average libidos or youo both just suck at sex and neither one is interested because of that. I am truly saddened to see that the sex drive of our nation's youth has hit such a bottom. The fall of democracy itself cannot be far behind.

[/ QUOTE ]

ok, just to clear this up. I love sex... I want it all the time. I want it multiple times. She doesn't. I need to get her in the mood and show her how awesome it is. I need her to crave it. I'm not bad in bed so that's not it.

Seriously... she enjoys it when we do it, but she doesn't really crave it ever. That's where I need help... I need her to WANT it!

[theben]

poo on her

[asofel]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Well, over the last 2 years (of a 4 year relationship) we probably have sex once every week and a half. The first two years it was probably twice a week.


[/ QUOTE ]

Your relationship is doomed. Hey, sex isn't everything but when everythings else goes to hell sex itself can be sustaining. I was married for 16 years. Even in the last 2-3 years when things were going south we still had sex 4x/week. At the beginning it had to average more than once a day. Either one or both of you have below average libidos or youo both just suck at sex and neither one is interested because of that. I am truly saddened to see that the sex drive of our nation's youth has hit such a bottom. The fall of democracy itself cannot be far behind.

[/ QUOTE ]

ok, just to clear this up. I love sex... I want it all the time. I want it multiple times. She doesn't. I need to get her in the mood and show her how awesome it is. I need her to crave it. I'm not bad in bed so that's not it.

Seriously... she enjoys it when we do it, but she doesn't really crave it ever. That's where I need help... I need her to WANT it!

[/ QUOTE ]

you (and most guys) need to learn how to turn a girl on outside the bedroom. In this age learning to write well is key. Between text messages and emails you should be able to have her ready to mount you before you even get the door open.

Learn how to tease with words. Learn to change your tone, the timing, the sound and mental image that your words create. Don't type "can't wait to [censored] later"...pick out something you know she loves and tell her you're picturing it right then...if you know it drives her crazy when you ____ tell her about it...you don't need to do much....in fact its better to say less than you could....women are used to teasing men and having some control...take that control back and let her know what you're going to do, how good it'll feel, how she won't be able to think about anything else all day.....

[Lady Dont Tekno]

Snarling Dragon.

LDT

[diebitter]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I'm not really trying to make an old guy joke here, but once every 10 days is pretty bad for two 20 year olds, but is never gonna be that frequent after 15 years of marriage

[/ QUOTE ]

FYP

[/ QUOTE ]

FYP

[jba]

[ QUOTE ]
ok, just to clear this up. I love sex... I want it all the time. I want it multiple times. She doesn't. I need to get her in the mood and show her how awesome it is. I need her to crave it. I'm not bad in bed so that's not it.


[/ QUOTE ]

ok stop it right here, you need to stop kidding yourself. You are only 20, have been with this chick for four years, and in the last two years have had sex around 70 times. I'm not sure what happened before that but dude you are a rookie. this is like somebody posting on other forums around here "i keep losing but I know that I am good what is going ON???" -- stop kidding yourself and try to get better. the bottom line is that if you were SPECTACULAR in bed, she would be on your hog nonstop. I'm not saying this is the cause of it, it probably isn't, but adding to your skill set is definitely going to get you laid more.

some other tips. when you want some tonight, prep her for it all day. do something sweet for her in the morning -- not overbearing but something like whip her up something for breakfast real quick, or pick something up at the store for her; I am not talking about buying a ring or something stupid like that, but something like a package of cheetos because she mentioned in passing five days ago that she was craving them. something to show that you are thinking about her. call her at work out of the blue and tell her you saw something on tv that reminded you of her. bs like that works big time and she will want you.

also I know this sounds weird, but the earlier you eat dinner the more likely you are to get laid. chicks in general hate getting naked when they feel fat, and you feel your fattest in the hour or two after dinner. if she scarfs down a tbone at 10:30 your odds of getting your pecker wet at 11:30 go way, way down.

also the intimate physical contact between the two of you should be more common in a non-sexual setting than a sexual one. if you only touch her hair when you're bangin her she is not getting what she needs, only you are.

just some tips

[jba]

[ QUOTE ]
If she is comfortable with her body, you need to buy her something extremely sensual to wear. Like a camasole or skimpy bra/panty set. Then get her to wear it for you. You need to make a big deal of checking it out from every angle. With more than just your looks and your hands. She'll love the attention and ride you (or beg for you) until you are spent.

[/ QUOTE ]

this is even better advice if she is NOT comfortable with her body

edit: except the part about examining every detail -- but pile on the "damn you look so hot" comments

[astroglide]

i don't understand why people are in relationships where it's work to get the other person to have sex with them. both people have to be satisfied in a relationship, but if you have to take calculated steps to prep them for something either you're not doing enough cool stuff without having to deliberate over it, or there's a problem. libido incompatibility, they have some sort of external mental issue, or whatever.

[CardSharpCook]

Your avatar is a better dancer than I'll ever be. Ok, that's it. I am studying the "astroglide", and will be a master of that little dance.

[diebitter]

[ QUOTE ]
i don't understand why people are in relationships where it's work to get the other person to have sex with them. both people have to be satisfied in a relationship, but if you have to take calculated steps to prep them for something either you're not doing enough cool stuff without having to deliberate over it, or there's a problem. libido incompatibility, they have some sort of external mental issue, or whatever.

[/ QUOTE ]

kids

[Deftoner]

[ QUOTE ]
also I know this sounds weird, but the earlier you eat dinner the more likely you are to get laid. chicks in general hate getting naked when they feel fat, and you feel your fattest in the hour or two after dinner. if she scarfs down a tbone at 10:30 your odds of getting your pecker wet at 11:30 go way, way down.

[/ QUOTE ]

this is retarded. if your girl isnt comfortable naked around you, you got a problem, i dont care if she just ate a whole cow.


also, a good way to read if your good in the sack is if your girl is hungry afterwards. good sex makes you hungry.
are you not getting your woman off? i mean...twice a week for the first two years? are you for real? would expect nothing less than twice a day if you both have a place where you can do it reguarly.

sex is awesome. do it more. get better. you aren't good.

[jba]

[ QUOTE ]

this is retarded. if your girl isnt comfortable naked around you, you got a problem, i dont care if she just ate a whole cow.


[/ QUOTE ]

I have never in my life dated a girl who didn't have at least a little bit of a body image issue. now I never said you can't get laid after they eat, I'm just saying the odds are lower. For a Pimp like you that probably just means 99.9999999999% goes to 99.99999999998% or something, but it is still real.

also I am guessing from your post that you are 12.

[pokerdirty]

[ QUOTE ]

sex is awesome. do it more. get better. you aren't good.

[/ QUOTE ]

[gorie]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]

this is retarded. if your girl isnt comfortable naked around you, you got a problem, i dont care if she just ate a whole cow.


[/ QUOTE ]

I have never in my life dated a girl who didn't have at least a little bit of a body image issue. now I never said you can't get laid after they eat, I'm just saying the odds are lower. For a Pimp like you that probably just means 99.9999999999% goes to 99.99999999998% or something, but it is still real.

also I am guessing from your post that you are 12.

[/ QUOTE ]

i think what you said about the late supper thing is probably true. although not necessarily even about having body image issues, but the idea of sex isn't as appealing to me if i am full because it's not going to be as comfortable and i'll have less energy ! it's not just a girl thing either, who wants to work out right after eating ? you just don't have the energy and feel full. assuming you ate a lot, anyway.
so i think what you said makes sense about the late supper thing, but i don't think it has as much to do with afraid of looking fat as it does discomfort or whatever.

[[censored]]

Is there a link where you describe said relationship? Also if I understand things correctly the relationship ended, you are now back together and things "are not they way they were"? Guess what dude they aren't going to be again, chances are it's doomed and nothing you can do is going to change that. But if there is a problem I seriously doubt looking for ways to spice up the sex life is going to fix anything. Infact there is a good chance it will just push her further away.

I don't know what specifically you need to do but in general you need to find activities you can do together that result in laughing, happiness and feelings of enjoyment and you need to find ways to intimate with her that do not involve sex. You basically work on a relationship.

Also dude, she's just turned 21 and wants to start going to bars, for most girls this isn't a time in their life where they are looking for serious relationships - especially one that has already failed once. just a courtesy FYI.

[[censored]]

[ QUOTE ]
i don't understand why people are in relationships where it's work to get the other person to have sex with them. both people have to be satisfied in a relationship, but if you have to take calculated steps to prep them for something either you're not doing enough cool stuff without having to deliberate over it, or there's a problem. libido incompatibility, they have some sort of external mental issue, or whatever.

[/ QUOTE ]

The other parts of the relationship are good enougn to compensate for the lack of sex

also for some > none, in many cases.

[MonkeeMan]

I think you need to add a little jealousy to her life, a little competition for her to worry about.

Either that or hand puppets.

But not both.

[astroglide]

[ QUOTE ]
The other parts of the relationship are good enougn to compensate for the lack of sex

[/ QUOTE ]

if that's _truly the case_, why isn't the issue written off instead of complaining and trying to change it? everybody accepts all sorts of things about people in their relationships. if 'all sorts of things' were as discussed as common sexual incompatibility, then we'd literally never be able to hold another conversation because it would always be, "how do i get my wife to like lacrosse?" and "why won't my mom play magic: the gathering with me?"

[Deftoner]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]

this is retarded. if your girl isnt comfortable naked around you, you got a problem, i dont care if she just ate a whole cow.


[/ QUOTE ]

I have never in my life dated a girl who didn't have at least a little bit of a body image issue. now I never said you can't get laid after they eat, I'm just saying the odds are lower. For a Pimp like you that probably just means 99.9999999999% goes to 99.99999999998% or something, but it is still real.

also I am guessing from your post that you are 12.

[/ QUOTE ]

my point is that she isn't uncomfortable being naked around you because she just ate. thats just stupid, and if you can't see that then you are ignorant.
which you probably are since the girl your in love with and has been with you for four years DOES NOT have body image issues around you naked.

and no, im 11 btw.

[[censored]]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
The other parts of the relationship are good enougn to compensate for the lack of sex

[/ QUOTE ]

if that's _truly the case_, why isn't the issue written off instead of complaining and trying to change it? everybody accepts all sorts of things about people in their relationships. if 'all sorts of things' were as discussed as common sexual incompatibility, then we'd literally never be able to hold another conversation because it would always be, "how do i get my wife to like lacrosse?" and "why won't my mom play magic: the gathering with me?"

[/ QUOTE ]

Thats a good question. It seems to be pretty common though. Perhaps it is as simple and many guys never being satisfied with how much sex they get. If this is the case having sex being the determining factor of whether a relationship continues would be foolish.

Also though I think there is a great deal of importance and emphasis put on sex and most of this is directed at males. It really is everywhere. So in some cases there could other problems in the relationship but sex becomes the scape goat.

In others it could be a case of guys thinking they should be getting more than X quantity believing that is what is standard and what should be strived for.

However this isn't to minimize the occurences of times where there really is a unshared belief on how much sex each partner desires because they do exist. And I agree all the little games are tricks are rather stupid. Usually a simple "honey I think we should have more sex, why aren't we?" could work.

[diebitter]

[ QUOTE ]
In others it could be a case of guys thinking they should be getting more than X quantity believing that is what is standard and what should be strived for.

[/ QUOTE ]

Yeah, but less than once every nine months isn't good, is it?

[poboy]

It took me a few years to figure it out but the key to getting great sex all the time is super simple. Do the exact opposite of what you think you should be doing. Instead of trying to get it all the time, act like you could care less if you have sex. In no time at all she'll be the one begging for it. Here's a little factoid, women want sex just as bad if not more so then men.

Also quit kidding yourself you're only 20, you are not even close to being good in bed. Hell you probably can't even satisfy yourself properly yet. This is not a problem however since she's young also and probably doesn't know any better. Good luck.

[[censored]]

[ QUOTE ]
It took me a few years to figure it out but the key to getting great sex all the time is super simple. Do the exact opposite of what you think you should be doing. Instead of trying to get it all the time, act like you could care less if you have sex. In no time at all she'll be the one begging for it. Here's a little factoid, women want sex just as bad if not more so then men.



[/ QUOTE ]

Once again the Seinfeld rule comes through.

This mostly only works on girls who on some level are insecure about either themselves or the relationship and always see their sexuality as a "power" source. When you are constantly in need of said resource (sex) then you are in need of them this gives them power and securiy by restricting the resource. But when you are not seeking the resource on a consant basis, or don't appear to need it, the inner insecurities or fears of not beeing needed, wanted or whatever will take over and they will then turn to using the one resource they see themselves as having.

I'm not sure if these are the types of girls you should be seeking. There are probably worse things to deal with though.

[Dariel86]

Yeah, I agree with you. But you aren't necessarily living together at that age. And you probably wouldn't want to [censored] in a motel ever other day.

I'm having sex with my GF 3-4 times a week though /images/graemlins/wink.gif

[WackityWhiz]

[ QUOTE ]
I'm not bad in bed so that's not it.

Seriously... she enjoys it when we do it

[/ QUOTE ]

Damn, you guys are really quick to pull the trigger and explain to me that I'm not "SPECTACULAR" in bed. Well I never claimed to be, nor did I ever say I was good. All I'm saying is that when we do fool around I get her off everytime. She enjoys it when we have sex, she just doesn't crave it like I do.

All I want to do is get her to want to do it more, and I appreciate the replies I got in regards to that.

end of thread, thanks