Pregnancy Testing...

[Vavavoom]

Right, I'm at work and due to the logistics of office planning am unable to view certain websites as people can see what is being written etc....

I have a question to ask with regards to pregnancy testing...

1. How reliable are the tests in determining dates ? To what degree can they determine what date conception took place ?

2. How far gone do u have to be before they can determine such things...Ie Would u have to be at least 4/6/8+ weeks gone before u would be able to have any reliable testing.

3. What is an acceptable amount of time for a hospital/doctors to take in determining this sort of thing....?

If I think of any more questions I will post them as the thread goes on...

[ChipWrecked]

Oh no, are you late?

[KaneKungFu123]

hey.














its your kid.

[Vavavoom]

[ QUOTE ]
1. How reliable are the tests in determining dates ? To what degree can they determine what date conception took place ?

[/ QUOTE ]

[ChipWrecked]

I don't believe they can do this at all. Doc gave us conception date.

[mslif]

Physicians can tell how far along you are in the pegnancy by measuring the concentration of a certain homorne (HcG). During the first trimester, that concentration is very high and slowly drops as the pregnancy progresses.
The date of conception is always hard to determine, they can give you a ball park range of dates (maybe 2 or 3 days) but pin pointing an exact date is almost impossible.
The test is more accurate during the first trimester.

[Vavavoom]

Thats what I need to be able to find out information about....Can the doctor tell what days (And to what accuracy ?)

I can't look on the web due to it being obvious what I'd been looking at ?

[jakethebake]

[ QUOTE ]
Thats what I need to be able to find out information about....Can the doctor tell what day (And to what accuracy ?)

[/ QUOTE ]

They can make a guess at best. They can't tell with any real accuracy. So she cheated on you and you want to know whose it is?

[Vavavoom]

[ QUOTE ]
They can make a guess at best. They can't tell with any real accuracy. So she cheated on you and you want to know whose it is?

[/ QUOTE ]

[mslif]

No, they cannot give you an exact day of conception. An appproximate date is the best they can do (see my previous post)

[mslif]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
They can make a guess at best. They can't tell with any real accuracy. So she cheated on you and you want to know whose it is?

[/ QUOTE ]

[/ QUOTE ]

If this is the case, paternity test at birth is the best way to determine if it is yours.

PS: if this is what actually happened, I am very sorry.

[Vavavoom]

[ QUOTE ]
No, they cannot give you an exact day of conception. An appproximate date is the best they can do (see my previous post)

[/ QUOTE ]

Ball park is fine as long as its 3-5 days max.....I know all dates that I need to know except she doesn't know how far gone she is....

I know what my safety zone is....Just have no in-depth knowledge of this sort of scenario due to it not really being on my agenda...

[Vavavoom]

[ QUOTE ]

If this is the case, paternity test at birth is the best way to determine if it is yours.


[/ QUOTE ]

Thats why I need to know...if its mine - IT AIN'T HAPPENING !

[jakethebake]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
No, they cannot give you an exact day of conception. An appproximate date is the best they can do (see my previous post)

[/ QUOTE ]

Ball park is fine as long as its 3-5 days max.....I know all dates that I need to know except she doesn't know how far gone she is....

[/ QUOTE ]

The problem is that they can be way off. Different women show different levels of hormones. My wife miscarried due to being too low on certain ones. When we had out last baby, the doctor told us a supposed date of conception and he was off by 8 days.

[Vavavoom]

I'll outline the basic scenario...

My last time with her was 28th July...

We split up on 14th Aug, there was nothing in this period of time...

She went with another guy 1-3 weeks after this date...

She got tested 2 weeks ago and is still waiting for reults back from hospital (Hence 3rd question in 1st Post)...

Therefore :

How far gone would she have to be for me to be in the "Sh*t" ? What would be a reasonable time to have elapsed to give me the all clear. By that, I mean if the doctor comes back and says 6 weeks....Would I be in the clear...?

[pokerdirty]

http://www.designboom.com/history/wirehangers/h12.gif

[mslif]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
No, they cannot give you an exact day of conception. An appproximate date is the best they can do (see my previous post)

[/ QUOTE ]

Ball park is fine as long as its 3-5 days max.....I know all dates that I need to know except she doesn't know how far gone she is....

I know what my safety zone is....Just have no in-depth knowledge of this sort of scenario due to it not really being on my agenda...

[/ QUOTE ]

I am answering to you and Jake. The girl will get a blood test to determine if she is pregnant or not (measure of HcG) Ask the doctor to give you the approximate date of comception based on that test.
Doctors also rely on the date the girl had her periods last. I don't like that because a woman can lie to hide the fact that she cheated and got pregnant by someone else.

[jakethebake]

[ QUOTE ]
I'll outline the basic scenario...

My last time with her was 28th July...

We split up on 14th Aug, there was nothing in this period of time...

She went with another guy 1-3 weeks after this date...

She got tested 2 weeks ago and is still waiting for reults back from hospital (Hence 3rd question in 1st Post)...

Therefore :

How far gone would she have to be for me to be in the "Sh*t" ? What would be a reasonable time to have elapsed to give me the all clear. By that, I mean if the doctor comes back and says 6 weeks....Would I be in the clear...?

[/ QUOTE ]

so you don't even know she's pregnant?

[Vavavoom]

No I know...She done 4 tests at home...She is 100% Pregnant !

Shes been to the hospital for the "Conception Date Range".

[jakethebake]

[ QUOTE ]
No I know...She done 4 tests at home...She is 100% Pregnant !

Shes been to the hospital for the "Conception Date Range".

[/ QUOTE ]

Then I didn't really understand what this was asking.

[ QUOTE ]
How far gone would she have to be for me to be in the "Sh*t" ? What would be a reasonable time to have elapsed to give me the all clear. By that, I mean if the doctor comes back and says 6 weeks....Would I be in the clear...?


[/ QUOTE ]

[mslif]

If she got pregnant on that date, you have until the end of this month to have an abortion, after that you becoming a daddy.

[pokerdirty]

http://image.blog.livedoor.jp/honey_chan/992f689d.jpg

[daveymck]

Cos if she is 1 month gone is other guys, if two months gone is his, if she is 6 weeks gone then whos?

[mslif]

[ QUOTE ]
No I know...She done 4 tests at home...She is 100% Pregnant !

Shes been to the hospital for the "Conception Date Range".

[/ QUOTE ]

Wait to have these results. You will know if you are in the clear or not when you see them. If the range includes any dates prior to July 28th, you are obviously not in the clear.

[Mars357]

*** Point clarified while I was typing this response... I'm leaving it in the thread because I really want to know about the "ain't happening" comment***

[ QUOTE ]
She got tested 2 weeks ago and is still waiting for results back from hospital (Hence 3rd question in 1st Post)...


[/ QUOTE ]

This sounds like total BS to me. There is no way it takes any medical facility two weeks to determine if someone is pregnant. Go to the store, buy a home test, have her use it while you are there. You'll have your results in about 2 minutes and these things are 98% accurate.

If she pregnant, you can take the next step and determine if it's yours...

As for your "If it's mine, it ain't happening" comment, what exactly do you plan on doing to stop it from happening? You can't force her to get an abortion

[steelcmg]

some ones gonna be a daddy!!!

Im guessing this is very very very bad for u now.

[ChipWrecked]

Yes, and pokerdirty isn't making it any easier. A prime banning candidate for [censored].

[pokerdirty]

eh, whatever

[Evan]

I hope it's the girl in your avatar.

[daveymck]

I dont remember that the initial GP tests did anything but confirm the pregnancy, but 7 years ago so cant really remeber.

Looking at the Bupa website though it reflects this

Tests in pregnancy
Published by BUPA's Health Information Team
January 2004

The aim of tests during pregnancy (antenatal tests) is to monitor the health and wellbeing of the mother and developing baby (fetus). Some antenatal tests are routinely offered to all women and others are offered only to certain women because of their age and medical or family history.

Pregnancy tests
The first test of any pregnancy is one that confirms the woman is pregnant. Conception typically takes place midway through a woman's menstrual cycle. Pregnancy tests are very accurate and can usually detect pregnancy from the time a woman misses her first period - approximately two weeks after conception. Women can buy home-testing kits from a pharmacy, or take a urine sample to their GP surgery.

Check-ups during pregnancy
Once a woman knows or suspects she is pregnant, she can make an appointment with her GP to discuss antenatal care and tests. The GP will ask about any previous pregnancies, general health and whether any close members of the family have a health problem that can be inherited, such as cystic fibrosis.

The GP checks that the woman is taking the right dose of folic acid supplement (400 micrograms a day) and gives general advice about pregnancy. A referral is made for antenatal care throughout the pregnancy. This could be at a hospital, at the GP surgery, in a clinic or at home (although any scans will need to be in a hospital).

Booking visit (first appointment)
The first appointment usually takes place at around 10-13 weeks. This is a detailed antenatal visit and may take some time. Some women need two appointments to cover everything. Women may see a midwife, a doctor or both. The woman's health, previous pregnancies, any medical problems and social circumstances are discussed.

An estimated date is given for when the baby is due. A brief ultrasound scan is performed to confirm that the size of the baby fits with the estimated dates and to check if the woman is expecting more than one baby.

The midwife or doctor takes a blood sample. Although there may be some variation between different healthcare providers, the following are the typical blood tests done at the booking visit:

blood group and rhesus (Rh) type. Women are either Rh positive or negative. Rh negative women are usually offered an injection after delivery to protect their next baby from the risk of anaemia
haemoglobin to check for anaemia
screening for infections that can affect the mother and baby, such as hepatitis B or syphilis and HIV
immunity to rubella (german measles). Women who are found not to be immune are given advice on how to reduce the risk of catching it and what to do if they catch it

[Vavavoom]

[ QUOTE ]
*** Point clarified while I was typing this response... I'm leaving it in the thread because I really want to know about the "ain't happening" comment***

[ QUOTE ]
She got tested 2 weeks ago and is still waiting for results back from hospital (Hence 3rd question in 1st Post)...


[/ QUOTE ]

This sounds like total BS to me. There is no way it takes any medical facility two weeks to determine if someone is pregnant. Go to the store, buy a home test, have her use it while you are there. You'll have your results in about 2 minutes and these things are 98% accurate.

If she pregnant, you can take the next step and determine if it's yours...

As for your "If it's mine, it ain't happening" comment, what exactly do you plan on doing to stop it from happening? You can't force her to get an abortion

[/ QUOTE ]

That was exactly what I thought about the 2 weeks...I found out yesterday evening...

She has tested herself 3/4 times and is 100% pregnant.

My original question was how accurate are any medical facilities testing with regards to conception dates..?

As it stands - She would have to be 10 weeks pregnant for it to be mine....anything less than 9 weeks and its not mine...

As for [ QUOTE ]
If it's mine, it ain't happening

[/ QUOTE ] , we discussed this yesterday and she said if it was mine she wouldn't have it....That was agreed....

She is 100% convinced that its not mine - she believes 6 weeks max....Its a bit of a stressful time as u can imagine for me...

[jakethebake]

I didn't say it before, but good luck. I know this is stressful.

[Vavavoom]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
No I know...She done 4 tests at home...She is 100% Pregnant !

Shes been to the hospital for the "Conception Date Range".

[/ QUOTE ]

Wait to have these results. You will know if you are in the clear or not when you see them. If the range includes any dates prior to July 28th, you are obviously not in the clear.

[/ QUOTE ]

This can't happen soon enough....

[daveymck]

Pregnancy Calculator (http://www.intmed.mcw.edu/clincalc/pregnancy.html)

Thats a link to a pregnancy calculator works out an estimate date of conception based on her last period so you would need to know this, its a guestimate but may give more of an idea, cos if she is planning on getting rid of it I dont think having an ultrasound it the way to go.

[Vavavoom]

[ QUOTE ]
Thats a link to a pregnancy calculator works out an estimate date of conception based on her last period so you would need to know this, its a guestimate but may give more of an idea

[/ QUOTE ]


I'm hazarding a guess that this would have been approximately the first week of August....She can't 100& remember her last period....I asked this question and got a unsure answer...

Like I said she is admamant that its not mine...but I want to know...The last thing on my agenda is a bubba....

I'm pretty sure its not mine but these things only take 9 months and last a lifetime...

[ChipWrecked]

I know they can tell sex of baby from an amnio test. Wonder if they can do DNA from the fluid as well. That would save you several months of wonder.

[mslif]

[ QUOTE ]
I know they can tell sex of baby from an amnio test. Wonder if they can do DNA from the fluid as well. That would save you several months of wonder.

[/ QUOTE ]

They can do that but it is a very invasive procedure.

[diebitter]

[ QUOTE ]
I know they can tell sex of baby from an amnio test. Wonder if they can do DNA from the fluid as well. That would save you several months of wonder.

[/ QUOTE ]
There's 3-4% risk of miscarriage with that.

[jakethebake]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I know they can tell sex of baby from an amnio test. Wonder if they can do DNA from the fluid as well. That would save you several months of wonder.

[/ QUOTE ]
There's 3-4% risk of miscarriage with that.

[/ QUOTE ]

I thought it was higher than that. Not to mention danger to the mother. No?

[diebitter]

You might be right. I didn't just check, that was from memory.

[ChipWrecked]

Due to my wife's age we didn't hesitate to do one. Had no problems.

[Sifmole]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Thats a link to a pregnancy calculator works out an estimate date of conception based on her last period so you would need to know this, its a guestimate but may give more of an idea

[/ QUOTE ]


I'm hazarding a guess that this would have been approximately the first week of August....She can't 100& remember her last period....I asked this question and got a unsure answer...

Like I said she is admamant that its not mine...but I want to know...The last thing on my agenda is a bubba....

I'm pretty sure its not mine but these things only take 9 months and last a lifetime...

[/ QUOTE ]

That's the stress you get for tapping a 'ho and not wrappin' it.

[Vavavoom]

[ QUOTE ]
That's the stress you get for tapping a 'ho and not wrappin' it

[/ QUOTE ]

'Twas my gf for 7 months... /images/graemlins/mad.gif /images/graemlins/confused.gif /images/graemlins/crazy.gif

[Vavavoom]

[ QUOTE ]

I know they can tell sex of baby from an amnio test. Wonder if they can do DNA from the fluid as well. That would save you several months of wonder.

[/ QUOTE ]

I don't think this will happen......

Its either mine and no baby or this other guys and I'm out of the situation....At the moment I'm treading on eggshells as there will be some hard-bargaining should the results come back with 9/10+ weeks gone....

[daveymck]

Is she keeping it if it isnt yours?

[Vavavoom]

[ QUOTE ]
Is she keeping it if it isnt yours?

[/ QUOTE ]

That is what she is unsure about...She isn't 100% decided on anything yet but I think she'd be mad to keep it with a guy she has slept with only once...(However, she has known him for 2-3 years)

[kurosh]

Wow, that sucks. Sorry.

[STLantny]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
That's the stress you get for tapping a 'ho and not wrappin' it

[/ QUOTE ]

'Twas my gf for 7 months... /images/graemlins/mad.gif /images/graemlins/confused.gif /images/graemlins/crazy.gif

[/ QUOTE ]


Oh, I didnt realize that going out with a girl for that lnog makes you immune to the laws of nature. I have a buddy in your exact situation at least he isnt as selfish as you.

[Vavavoom]

I have spoke to her in the last 10 mins for some clarification :

1. She is waiting for her first scan date (which will tell her all the necessary details) as they measure the head etc...?

2. She was tested by the doctor as well which came back positive..

So the 2 weeks she has been waiting so far have been for details of the first scan date....

This is by far the most frustrating thing that I have ever experienced .....


To quote what she has just said to me:

[ QUOTE ]
I have had no scans or examinations.

When i go for my first scan (which I am waiting for the appointment now) I will find out everything i need to know about dates (due/concieved etc). I tested 2 weeks ago and the results were really faint, this is usually because it is extremely early on in the pregnancy and there aren't alot of a certain hormone present... it advises to wait a few days and test again.. which I did... and it comes out darker... which it did.

[/ QUOTE ]

[Vavavoom]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
That's the stress you get for tapping a 'ho and not wrappin' it

[/ QUOTE ]

'Twas my gf for 7 months... /images/graemlins/mad.gif /images/graemlins/confused.gif /images/graemlins/crazy.gif

[/ QUOTE ]


Oh, I didnt realize that going out with a girl for that lnog makes you immune to the laws of nature. I have a buddy in your exact situation at least he isnt as selfish as you.

[/ QUOTE ]

I'm not sure how I'm being selfish ?

[dcasper70]

[ QUOTE ]
Due to my wife's age we didn't hesitate to do one. Had no problems.

[/ QUOTE ]

13?

/images/graemlins/grin.gif

[mslif]

[ QUOTE ]
I have spoke to her in the last 10 mins for some clarification :

1. She is waiting for her first scan date (which will tell her all the necessary details) as they measure the head etc...?

2. She was tested by the doctor as well which came back positive..

So the 2 weeks she has been waiting so far have been for details of the first scan date....

This is by far the most frustrating thing that I have ever experienced .....


To quote what she has just said to me:

[ QUOTE ]
I have had no scans or examinations.

When i go for my first scan (which I am waiting for the appointment now) I will find out everything i need to know about dates (due/concieved etc). I tested 2 weeks ago and the results were really faint, this is usually because it is extremely early on in the pregnancy and there aren't alot of a certain hormone present... it advises to wait a few days and test again.. which I did... and it comes out darker... which it did.

[/ QUOTE ]

[/ QUOTE ]

Her statement about the hormones is untrue. HcG concentration peeks during the first trimester. If the test showed that low of an amount, she might be within her first month or early second.

[STLantny]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
That's the stress you get for tapping a 'ho and not wrappin' it

[/ QUOTE ]

'Twas my gf for 7 months... /images/graemlins/mad.gif /images/graemlins/confused.gif /images/graemlins/crazy.gif

[/ QUOTE ]


Oh, I didnt realize that going out with a girl for that lnog makes you immune to the laws of nature. I have a buddy in your exact situation at least he isnt as selfish as you.

[/ QUOTE ]

I'm not sure how I'm being selfish ?

[/ QUOTE ]

You, through either not caring or understanding how not to knock a girl up, convince her to have it aborted if it is yours. Otherwise she probably wont (from what I understand from your post). Which leads me to believe that she doesnt "really" want to go through an abortion. I dunno, maybe I got confused somewhere along the lines, but I rarely have any sympathy for someone who knocks a chick up, then asks her to go through all the pain of having it aborted.

[Vavavoom]

[ QUOTE ]
she might be within her first month or early second

[/ QUOTE ]

This is good for me...

[dcasper70]

[ QUOTE ]
Its either mine and no baby....

[/ QUOTE ]

Not for nothing, but there are a lot of men out there that would give anything to have the opportunity to father a child but can't for whatever reason.

I've been in your spot, so I do know your line of thinking (turned out not to be mine), and I'm not trying to be anti anything, but consider the adoption angle. Really consider it. Could be the most selfless thing one can do.

[mslif]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
she might be within her first month or early second

[/ QUOTE ]

This is good for me...

[/ QUOTE ]

It is but you never know, all women are different but if she was over 2 month pregnant (using your July 28th date) the HcG levels should be way high.

[STLantny]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Its either mine and no baby....

[/ QUOTE ]

Not for nothing, but there are a lot of men out there that would give anything to have the opportunity to father a child but can't for whatever reason.

I've been in your spot, so I do know your line of thinking (turned out not to be mine), and I'm not trying to be anti anything, but consider the adoption angle. Really consider it. Could be the most selfless thing one can do.

[/ QUOTE ]

I agree with what he said. Im not anti/pro anything, its all situational, but your is the perfect one for giving it up for adoption.

[Vavavoom]

[ QUOTE ]
You, through either not caring or understanding how not to knock a girl up, convince her to have it aborted if it is yours. Otherwise she probably wont (from what I understand from your post). Which leads me to believe that she doesnt "really" want to go through an abortion. I dunno, maybe I got confused somewhere along the lines, but I rarely have any sympathy from someone who knocks a chick up, then asks her to go through all the pain of having it aborted

[/ QUOTE ]


In case u are unaware....I slept with her last approx 12 weeks ago and we were always careful...

This pregnancy was after I had split up with her. So I don't understand how I can be selfish by by not wishing to tie myself to her for the long run (if indeed it is mine)....An abortion would be what I wanted if it was mine, and that I don't deny.

I don't want this thread to turn into "Abortion vs Anti- Abortion" argument. Fact is...I was curious as to the details of the early stages of a pregnancy as I have had this situation thrust upon me. Re read the threads I posted including the timeline and then come back to me with whether you are still convinced I'm being selfish !

[mslif]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Its either mine and no baby....

[/ QUOTE ]

Not for nothing, but there are a lot of men out there that would give anything to have the opportunity to father a child but can't for whatever reason.

I've been in your spot, so I do know your line of thinking (turned out not to be mine), and I'm not trying to be anti anything, but consider the adoption angle. Really consider it. Could be the most selfless thing one can do.

[/ QUOTE ]

I agree with what he said. Im not anti/pro anything, its all situational, but your is the perfect one for giving it up for adoption.

[/ QUOTE ]

I don't think you realize how strong the bond is between a newborn and a mom. Most of the time women change their mind about adoption after they give birth.

[Vavavoom]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Its either mine and no baby....

[/ QUOTE ]

Not for nothing, but there are a lot of men out there that would give anything to have the opportunity to father a child but can't for whatever reason.

I've been in your spot, so I do know your line of thinking (turned out not to be mine), and I'm not trying to be anti anything, but consider the adoption angle. Really consider it. Could be the most selfless thing one can do.

[/ QUOTE ]

if its not mine, I will have nothing more to do with her as this has breached all levels of trust/feelings that I ever had for her. I would never be able to look at her in the same light. I believe that she will keep it if its not mine...She earns a very good wage, has her own place and is 25 years old. I've not spoken to her family since we split up, but her parents lead an extremely comfortable lifestyle and therefore keeping it would not be a problem. The other guy is 30 and also earns very good money...

I just wanted to find out details of what happens at the beginning of pregnancies as I am unable to look at any of these websites at work due to my office plan...

[Vavavoom]

[ QUOTE ]
I don't think you realize how strong the bond is between a newborn and a mom. Most of the time women change their mind about adoption after they give birth.

[/ QUOTE ]

This will not be considered as an option....She either keeps it if its not mine or we have some very delicate discussions...

[STLantny]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
You, through either not caring or understanding how not to knock a girl up, convince her to have it aborted if it is yours. Otherwise she probably wont (from what I understand from your post). Which leads me to believe that she doesnt "really" want to go through an abortion. I dunno, maybe I got confused somewhere along the lines, but I rarely have any sympathy from someone who knocks a chick up, then asks her to go through all the pain of having it aborted

[/ QUOTE ]


In case u are unaware....I slept with her last approx 12 weeks ago and we were always careful...

This pregnancy was after I had split up with her. So I don't understand how I can be selfish by by not wishing to tie myself to her for the long run (if indeed it is mine)....An abortion would be what I wanted if it was mine, and that I don't deny.

I don't want this thread to turn into "Abortion vs Anti- Abortion" argument. Fact is...I was curious as to the details of the early stages of a pregnancy as I have had this situation thrust upon me. Re read the threads I posted including the timeline and then come back to me with whether you are still convinced I'm being selfish !

[/ QUOTE ]


Your answer for, this is what you get for not "wrapping it up when hitting ho's" or whatever that guy said, was : we were going out for 7 mos (this is not a form of birth control). If you did use birth control/condom every time, then yes, Im sorry for what I said, and I have sympathy for your unlucky situation.

I could say, more but I dont want to go OT, to your OP, as I already did so too much.

[STLantny]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Its either mine and no baby....

[/ QUOTE ]

Not for nothing, but there are a lot of men out there that would give anything to have the opportunity to father a child but can't for whatever reason.

I've been in your spot, so I do know your line of thinking (turned out not to be mine), and I'm not trying to be anti anything, but consider the adoption angle. Really consider it. Could be the most selfless thing one can do.

[/ QUOTE ]

I agree with what he said. Im not anti/pro anything, its all situational, but your is the perfect one for giving it up for adoption.

[/ QUOTE ]

I don't think you realize how strong the bond is between a newborn and a mom. Most of the time women change their mind about adoption after they give birth.

[/ QUOTE ]

I do realize the bond, btw, but..
mslif in your opinion, honestly, as I have no clue what I would think in this situation, but from a woman's point of view, which is more psychologically damaging, having an abortion or giving a child up for adoption, in the long run...

[Vavavoom]

[ QUOTE ]
If you did use birth control/condom every time, then yes, Im sorry for what I said, and I have sympathy for your unlucky situation.


[/ QUOTE ]

She is convinced that its 6 weeks max...I just wanted closure and hence my original questions...

[daveymck]

[ QUOTE ]

I do realize the bond, btw, but..
mslif in your opinion, honestly, as I have no clue what I would think in this situation, but from a woman's point of view, which is more psychologically damaging, having an abortion or giving a child up for adoption, in the long run...

[/ QUOTE ]

I love it he wants her to have an abortion, you want her to have it but give it away, talk about giving a girl options. BTW under UK law I believe he would still be liable to have to pay child support via the CSA at any time in the future if the adoptive parents claim any benefits.

It sounds to me like she has decieded to keep it and that the new partner is probably the preferred option as he has more money and potentially she is fitting the dates to suit that, maybe the due date will give more of a clue but if its close to fitting then a test after the child is born may be the best thing otherwise again you may end up with the csa knocking at your door in years to come with a huge backdated payment to make, or some poor teenager looking for his/her dad.

[mslif]

You are putting me on the spot here. My opinion is that I would be more traumatized to give up my child at birth rather than abort a fetus.

[Mars357]

[ QUOTE ]
I don't think you realize how strong the bond is between a newborn and a mom. Most of the time women change their mind about adoption after they give birth.

[/ QUOTE ]

This is true. So if it looks like it's his, and they decide to put the child up for adoption, and she backs out, guess who is in for a lifetime of child support (at least in the US), and all the other stuff that goes with having a child.

Personally, I would never encourage someone to have an abortion but I'm just trying to see this from his point of view.

If she did end up having the child, and he ended up paying child support and possibly having a relationship with this child, I'd bet any amount that 20 years from now he'd be thankful for the experience.

Mars

[STLantny]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]

I do realize the bond, btw, but..
mslif in your opinion, honestly, as I have no clue what I would think in this situation, but from a woman's point of view, which is more psychologically damaging, having an abortion or giving a child up for adoption, in the long run...

[/ QUOTE ]

I love it he wants her to have an abortion, you want her to have it but give it away, talk about giving a girl options. BTW under UK law I believe he would still be liable to have to pay child support via the CSA at any time in the future if the adoptive parents claim any benefits.

It sounds to me like she has decieded to keep it and that the new partner is probably the preferred option as he has more money and potentially she is fitting the dates to suit that, maybe the due date will give more of a clue but if its close to fitting then a test after the child is born may be the best thing otherwise again you may end up with the csa knocking at your door in years to come with a huge backdated payment to make, or some poor teenager looking for his/her dad.

[/ QUOTE ]

I dont have much of an opinion either way, its not my decision thank god. I think it should be pretty much 75/25 her decision, on things. In all reality, it really IS teh woman's responsibility when it comes to giving birth, I dont care what any guy on here says. She is the one that ultimetely decides what happens. To type in caps IT AINT HAPPENING, imo is just plain wrong.

[astroglide]

hahaha, great post kane

[STLantny]

[ QUOTE ]
[quoteI don't think you realize how strong the bond is between a newborn and a mom. Most of the time women change their mind about adoption after they give birth.

[/ QUOTE ]

This is true. So if it looks like it's his, and they decide to put the child up for adoption, and she backs out, guess who is in for a lifetime of child support (at least in the US), and all the other stuff that goes with having a child.

Personally, I would never encourage someone to have an abortion but I'm just trying to see this from his point of view.

If she did end up having the child, and he ended up paying child support and possibly having a relationship with this child, I'd bet any amount that 20 years from now he'd be thankful for the experience.

Mars

[/ QUOTE ]

That would be my thoughts. I have no idea what I would do in the OPs situation, its easy to SAY what I would do, but it would be a tough decision when it comes time to put things in action. But from what my friend has relayed, it was the best thing he has done, not aborting, which changed my perception on what I would do...

[jakethebake]

The abortion issue is one of the few that I'm absolutely torn on. I'm usually a black/white kinda guy where answers are clear cut for me. But this one just drives me nuts. I've given up coming up with a good answer for myslef. Hopefully I'll never need to for personal reasons.

[Vavavoom]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]

I do realize the bond, btw, but..
mslif in your opinion, honestly, as I have no clue what I would think in this situation, but from a woman's point of view, which is more psychologically damaging, having an abortion or giving a child up for adoption, in the long run...

[/ QUOTE ]

I love it he wants her to have an abortion, you want her to have it but give it away, talk about giving a girl options. BTW under UK law I believe he would still be liable to have to pay child support via the CSA at any time in the future if the adoptive parents claim any benefits.

It sounds to me like she has decieded to keep it and that the new partner is probably the preferred option as he has more money and potentially she is fitting the dates to suit that, maybe the due date will give more of a clue but if its close to fitting then a test after the child is born may be the best thing otherwise again you may end up with the csa knocking at your door in years to come with a huge backdated payment to make, or some poor teenager looking for his/her dad.

[/ QUOTE ]

FWIW:
I do a similar job to the "Alleged Father", so the money side of things is not a reason either...

The dates aren't being fixed...She has an idea how far gone she is...I know when I last slept with her and there is a 99% chance that its not mine...the due date will tell me everything I need to know.

It won't happen if its mine...I know that for sure and that has been discussed....

[Vavavoom]

[ QUOTE ]
I dont have much of an opinion either way, its not my decision thank god. I think it should be pretty much 75/25 her decision, on things. In all reality, it really IS teh woman's responsibility when it comes to giving birth, I dont care what any guy on here says. She is the one that ultimetely decides what happens. To type in caps IT AINT HAPPENING, imo is just plain wrong.

[/ QUOTE ]

I shouldn't have put it in caps...but this is the way it is...It won't be happening...

[daveymck]

[ QUOTE ]
The abortion issue is one of the few that I'm absolutely torn on. I'm usually a black/white kinda guy where answers are clear cut for me. But this one just drives me nuts. I've given up coming up with a good answer for myslef. Hopefully I'll never need to for personal reasons.

[/ QUOTE ]

I'm anti (but beleive those who wish to should have the option) and in the same position would be offering whatever support I could, but then thats me at the end of the day if you get someone pregnant you are not even in a relationship with I suspect your influence on her decison is around 0%.

[jakethebake]

[ QUOTE ]
I'm anti (but beleive those who wish to should have the option) and in the same position would be offering whatever support I could, but then thats me at the end of the day if you get someone pregnant you are not even in a relationship with I suspect your influence on her decison is around 0%.

[/ QUOTE ]

I tend to think this way, which is exactly what bothers me. In my mind, it's an issue that should be cut and dried. It's either wrong or isn't and given it's human life we're talking about it bothers me that I'm unwilling or unable to make a decision on its morality.

[RunDownHouse]

[ QUOTE ]
'Twas my gf for 7 months... /images/graemlins/mad.gif /images/graemlins/confused.gif /images/graemlins/crazy.gif

[/ QUOTE ]
You're aware that the chances of pregnancy are independent of the length of relationship, right?

[Vavavoom]

I was replying to the "Ho" comment...

This is unsettling for me as it appears to be out of my control and in the hands of the gods...

I was just saying it wasn't a one-night stand as several people were not reading the posts as to what exactly I was asking ?

[NLSoldier]

were you using condom+birth control? or one or the other, or both?

[jakethebake]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
'Twas my gf for 7 months... /images/graemlins/mad.gif /images/graemlins/confused.gif /images/graemlins/crazy.gif

[/ QUOTE ]
You're aware that the chances of pregnancy are independent of the length of relationship, right?

[/ QUOTE ]

Niiiice! /images/graemlins/smirk.gif

[ChipWrecked]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Due to my wife's age we didn't hesitate to do one. Had no problems.

[/ QUOTE ]

13?

/images/graemlins/grin.gif

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58.

[peachy]

its almost immediate that a girl can tell by these test because u begin to release a particular horomone that is only released when u are pregnant - this is what the pregnancy test is testing for, so for the most part they are pretty accurate. Do 2 test - both come out postive shes pregnant for pretty sure and a doctors test shouldnt take long at all either.

She can figure out the day of conseption herself based on her last period...its semi confusing and backwards but u dont need a doctor to figure this out by any means, if u need to know what to count back from let me know...otherwise the doctors can give u a few day range around when conception was

[Sifmole]

[ QUOTE ]
I was replying to the "Ho" comment...

This is unsettling for me as it appears to be out of my control and in the hands of the gods...

I was just saying it wasn't a one-night stand as several people were not reading the posts as to what exactly I was asking ?

[/ QUOTE ]


If you are doing a chick who gets pregnant and doesn't know who the daddy is... Personally I think you entered the 'ho zone.

the "IT AIN"T HAPPENING" thing.... first, I am pro-choice my beliefs are mine and should in no way be law. That said, I find the calusness with which abortion, the killing of a living developing human, is totally sickening. It rolls my stomach when it is viewed as just another method of birth control. "Aw crap, she got knocked up. Just shove a stick blender up there, puree, and suck it out.".

You act like 7 months is some kind of eternity! You didn't even neccessarily share a birthday cake with the chick! or even a major holiday!

It is amazing how far the "no responsibility" mentality goes. Here is a news flash -- when you stick your wee-wee in a woman's hoo-hoo she might well get pregnant. That is NOT "out of my control and in the hands of the gods", it was likely in at least her hand or yours minutes before and you made a decision.

You don't know how you are being "selfish"?! Are you kidding me? You created another life and because you have more partying to do and more lifetime 7 month relationships to do -- you are going to blend it up, suck it out, and chuck it into the garbage.

[Vavavoom]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I was replying to the "Ho" comment...

This is unsettling for me as it appears to be out of my control and in the hands of the gods...

I was just saying it wasn't a one-night stand as several people were not reading the posts as to what exactly I was asking ?

[/ QUOTE ]


If you are doing a chick who gets pregnant and doesn't know who the daddy is... Personally I think you entered the 'ho zone.

the "IT AIN"T HAPPENING" thing.... first, I am pro-choice my beliefs are mine and should in no way be law. That said, I find the calusness with which abortion, the killing of a living developing human, is totally sickening. It rolls my stomach when it is viewed as just another method of birth control. "Aw crap, she got knocked up. Just shove a stick blender up there, puree, and suck it out.".

You act like 7 months is some kind of eternity! You didn't even neccessarily share a birthday cake with the chick! or even a major holiday!

It is amazing how far the "no responsibility" mentality goes. Here is a news flash -- when you stick your wee-wee in a woman's hoo-hoo she might well get pregnant. That is NOT "out of my control and in the hands of the gods", it was likely in at least her hand or yours minutes before and you made a decision.

You don't know how you are being "selfish"?! Are you kidding me? You created another life and because you have more partying to do and more lifetime 7 month relationships to do -- you are going to blend it up, suck it out, and chuck it into the garbage.

[/ QUOTE ]

Read all my posts before you comment - I've established with pretty much good reason that its not mine but I was asking as to the procedures early stages of a pregnancy !

She believes that she is only 6/7 weeks gone....I had finished my relationship 11 weeks ago....

So before you start coming out with silly hoo-hoo comments - read all the posts and then decide whether u have anything of benefit to add...

[Vavavoom]

[ QUOTE ]
were you using condom+birth control? or one or the other, or both?

[/ QUOTE ]

Condom...

[Sifmole]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I was replying to the "Ho" comment...

This is unsettling for me as it appears to be out of my control and in the hands of the gods...

I was just saying it wasn't a one-night stand as several people were not reading the posts as to what exactly I was asking ?

[/ QUOTE ]


If you are doing a chick who gets pregnant and doesn't know who the daddy is... Personally I think you entered the 'ho zone.

the "IT AIN"T HAPPENING" thing.... first, I am pro-choice my beliefs are mine and should in no way be law. That said, I find the calusness with which abortion, the killing of a living developing human, is totally sickening. It rolls my stomach when it is viewed as just another method of birth control. "Aw crap, she got knocked up. Just shove a stick blender up there, puree, and suck it out.".

You act like 7 months is some kind of eternity! You didn't even neccessarily share a birthday cake with the chick! or even a major holiday!

It is amazing how far the "no responsibility" mentality goes. Here is a news flash -- when you stick your wee-wee in a woman's hoo-hoo she might well get pregnant. That is NOT "out of my control and in the hands of the gods", it was likely in at least her hand or yours minutes before and you made a decision.

You don't know how you are being "selfish"?! Are you kidding me? You created another life and because you have more partying to do and more lifetime 7 month relationships to do -- you are going to blend it up, suck it out, and chuck it into the garbage.

[/ QUOTE ]

Read all my posts before you comment - I've established with pretty much good reason that its not mine but I was asking as to the procedures early stages of a pregnancy !

She believes that she is only 6/7 weeks gone....I had finished my relationship 11 weeks ago....

So before you start coming out with silly hoo-hoo comments - read all the posts and then decide whether u have anything of benefit to add...

[/ QUOTE ]

And you stated that if it WAS yours, and this was your primary concern, that "IT WON"T BE HAPPENING". -- Please see my above rant.

[Vavavoom]

[ QUOTE ]
its almost immediate that a girl can tell by these test because u begin to release a particular horomone that is only released when u are pregnant - this is what the pregnancy test is testing for, so for the most part they are pretty accurate. Do 2 test - both come out postive shes pregnant for pretty sure and a doctors test shouldnt take long at all either.

She can figure out the day of conseption herself based on her last period...its semi confusing and backwards but u dont need a doctor to figure this out by any means, if u need to know what to count back from let me know...otherwise the doctors can give u a few day range around when conception was

[/ QUOTE ]

Peachy, its not that simple. Due to suffering from a mild form of bulemia (sp?), she had irregular periods. She thinks that her last one was at the beginning of Aug. Her date of conception was approx 20th Aug +/- 7days. (I believe) Thats 6/7 weeks ago, she has done 3 tests (All positive) 2 at home and 1 at the doctors. She is cuurrently waiting for a date for the first scan. My OP had the questions that I needed information on and as to why I needed information.

All I need to know is the approximate range of when she concieved.

[Vavavoom]

Sif, it was never my intention to turn this into a "Pro vs Anti Abortion" thread. Ok, it may have been insensitive for me to have written what I did, but nevertheless this is a very traumatic time for me as I'm unaware of what my circumstances are.

The original post was merely for my information and I assumed that some people on this board would have a greater knowledge of Pregnancy than I would.

So far, it has ranged from people giving me useful advice to people basing their answers on their beliefs - which is totally unfair. I have my own and everyone is an individual... I don't know if u read every post I made or the entire thread in general or skimmed it, but posting just to get across your views on Abortion, does not help the matter. I'm getting flamed for my beliefs and thats not the matter at hand.