Stuff that makes you pause and reflect on everything

[Ulysses]

I didn't know this kid (had met him at a couple of dinners and stuff is all), but I knew his parents, they are friends of the family. Kid goes out night before his 24rd birthday. Gets involved in some sort of incident, apparently not involving any strangers. All details are murky. The next day, his parents see him at the coroner's, dead from a gunshot wound to the heart. Crazy $hit.

[jakethebake]

Very sad. Wow.

[diebitter]

That is terrible. Early death is always terrible.

I'm not a religious man in any way, but I think there's a phrase that says it all: 'when a parent buries a child, even God weeps'

[gorie]

[ QUOTE ]
24rd birthday.

[/ QUOTE ]

very sad. /images/graemlins/frown.gif

[mason55]

I do a lot of wild crazy [censored], but one rule I have in my life is "Don't be friends with people who carry guns."

I am sorry to hear about your loss though /images/graemlins/frown.gif

[MelK]

Don't we all have stories like this?

People we know, not necessarily that close, who die unexpectedly, in a freakish or just plain silly way.

I know I have stories like these. It is shocking when you first hear about it, but then you begin to realize that these kind of things happen all the time.

[Ulysses]

I didn't know the kid and I don't know his parents well either. Only reason I know about this is my parents told me. So, it's not something that really impacts me directly. But it's the sort of thing (non-high-profile murder) that you see in the paper/news everyday and don't really think about it. Or at least I don't much. Knowing who it was, even if it wasn't someone I really knew, just makes it strike so much closer to home. Crazy how in an instant multiple lives that were going so well get destroyed. Right now it's sounding like there were drinks, arguing, and guns involved among people who all knew each other, but details are still very sketchy.

[mslif]

It definitely makes you think about your own mortality.
I cannot begin to imagine how his parents feel right now. What a tragedy.

[Jimbo]

[ QUOTE ]
I do a lot of wild crazy [censored], but one rule I have in my life is "Don't be friends with people who carry guns."


[/ QUOTE ]

I suppose that means that Zeno, HDPM and I should scratch you off our "potential friends list".

[Ulysses]

[ QUOTE ]
Don't we all have stories like this?

People we know, not necessarily that close, who die unexpectedly, in a freakish or just plain silly way.

I know I have stories like these. It is shocking when you first hear about it, but then you begin to realize that these kind of things happen all the time.

[/ QUOTE ]

Well, that's the thing. These kind of things do indeed happen all the time. But, I at least, don't really think about them very much because, thankfully, they happen very rarely to people that I know. When these things do happen to someone I know, it makes me realize that I often take too much for granted and often don't appreciate what I have as much as I should. As you say, the shock does wear off, and I usually fall back into the same old attitudes.

[mason55]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I do a lot of wild crazy [censored], but one rule I have in my life is "Don't be friends with people who carry guns."


[/ QUOTE ]

I suppose that means that Zeno, HDPM and I should scratch you off our "potential friends list".

[/ QUOTE ]

I guess I should have said "people who carry guns, get drunk, and do stupid [censored] with them"

I have no problem with responsible concealed carry.

[Clarkmeister]

[ QUOTE ]

I have no problem with responsible concealed carry.

[/ QUOTE ]

Guns put away safely in one's domicile are fine. There's no such thing as "responsible concealed carry".

[jakethebake]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]

I have no problem with responsible concealed carry.

[/ QUOTE ]

Guns put away safely in one's domicile are fine. There's no such thing as "responsible concealed carry".

[/ QUOTE ]

Bullshit. But this isn't an appropriate thread to have this discussion.

[Blarg]

Jules, do you see a sign outside my house that says, Dead Nigga Storage?

[mslif]

[ QUOTE ]
Jules, do you see a sign outside my house that says, Dead Nigga Storage?

[/ QUOTE ]

I do not understand this comment, especially coming from you. Can you please explain to me what you meant?

Edit: I know this is a movie reference but I just think this is inapropriate

[jakethebake]

[ QUOTE ]
Jules, do you see a sign outside my house that says, Dead Nigga Storage?

[/ QUOTE ]

Who hijacked Blarg's account? Instead of a long essay on how sad these things are, we get a smart-ass, one-line movie reference?

[mason55]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Jules, do you see a sign outside my house that says, Dead Nigga Storage?

[/ QUOTE ]

Who hijacked Blarg's account? Instead of a long essay on how sad these things are, we get a smart-ass, one-line movie reference?

[/ QUOTE ]

Maybe he's still miffed about mslif dissing him?

[Blarg]

[ QUOTE ]
Don't we all have stories like this?

People we know, not necessarily that close, who die unexpectedly, in a freakish or just plain silly way.

I know I have stories like these. It is shocking when you first hear about it, but then you begin to realize that these kind of things happen all the time.

[/ QUOTE ]

That's where a lot of the impact sometimes comes in, especially if you have a relatively violence-free life. You can still be reminded suddenly how fragile things really are, and that bad things not only do happen, but sometimes they happen in your little corner of the world, and they could probably just as easily be happening to you. Life can seem really secure, but the foundation is shakier than it looks.

A few people I've worked with have wound up in prison. Many have gotten cancer, once about five of them within the space of less then two months! A young guy I worked with was shot and killed a while back in a drive-by; nobody knows why, since he wasn't a gangbanger and they didn't steal anything. In two places I've worked, women have been raped in the parking garages.

It's really like roulette. There may be a whole lot of numbers, but that doesn't mean yours won't come up. There's an uncomfortable amount of luck involved.

[Ulysses]

On a tangentially related note, my sister went to school with this kid: More murders (http://www.chron.com/cs/CDA/ssistory.mpl/metropolitan/3369363)

[daryn]

[ QUOTE ]
Jules, do you see a sign outside my house that says, Dead Nigga Storage?

[/ QUOTE ]

i think it was "dead nigger storage"

[newfant]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]


Jules, do you see a sign outside my house that says, Dead Nigga Storage?


[/ QUOTE ]

I do not understand this comment, especially coming from you. Can you please explain to me what you meant?

Edit: I know this is a movie reference but I just think this is inapropriate

[/ QUOTE ]

I laughed at this, so I have no doubt that it was inappropriate.

[Ulysses]

[ QUOTE ]
Life can seem really secure, but the foundation is shakier than it looks.

[/ QUOTE ]

That was pretty much the point.

[mslif]

[ QUOTE ]

Maybe he's still miffed about mslif dissing him?

[/ QUOTE ]

He actually dissed me /images/graemlins/frown.gif

[Clarkmeister]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]

I have no problem with responsible concealed carry.

[/ QUOTE ]

Guns put away safely in one's domicile are fine. There's no such thing as "responsible concealed carry".

[/ QUOTE ]

Bullshit. But this isn't an appropriate thread to have this discussion.

[/ QUOTE ]

It's not even a discussion. It's something simple and obvious.

[Blarg]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]

I have no problem with responsible concealed carry.

[/ QUOTE ]

Guns put away safely in one's domicile are fine. There's no such thing as "responsible concealed carry".

[/ QUOTE ]

Bullshit. But this isn't an appropriate thread to have this discussion.

[/ QUOTE ]

I agree on both counts.

[daryn]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]

I have no problem with responsible concealed carry.

[/ QUOTE ]

Guns put away safely in one's domicile are fine. There's no such thing as "responsible concealed carry".

[/ QUOTE ]

Bullshit. But this isn't an appropriate thread to have this discussion.

[/ QUOTE ]

It's not even a discussion. It's something simple and obvious.

[/ QUOTE ]

i agree! wait.. you are against?

[Blarg]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Jules, do you see a sign outside my house that says, Dead Nigga Storage?

[/ QUOTE ]

I do not understand this comment, especially coming from you. Can you please explain to me what you meant?

Edit: I know this is a movie reference but I just think this is inapropriate

[/ QUOTE ]

It's what Quentin Tarantino(the coffee guy in the suburbs) says to Sam Jackson in Pulp Fiction when he and Travolta bring a dead, headless Marvin to his house and don't know what the hell to do with their bloody car. So they want to hang around his house until whenever while thinking something up. Quentin's choice of friends has put him in an uncomfortable spot.

It's not inappropriate, but actually on point, though whether you like that type of movie is up to you.

[Blarg]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]

Maybe he's still miffed about mslif dissing him?

[/ QUOTE ]

He actually dissed me /images/graemlins/frown.gif

[/ QUOTE ]

I wasn't aware of either one of us dissing either one of us.

[theBruiser500]

Here is something that made me pause and think. At the anti war club someone came in who is a part of "veterans against the war". He was in the Persian Gulf War, and became strongly against war. He decided to drop out of college and spend his time working against war. What struck me was that he cared so deeply about this that he changed his life to work on it.

In the newspaper there have been a few stories about people refusing to serve in the military and going to jail and I always thought "big deal it's just a few people." This brought home the point that these were people who are not losers, crazy, or fools but intelligent real people and with lives of their own that cared so much about a topic they sacrificed greatly for it.

[mslif]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]

Maybe he's still miffed about mslif dissing him?

[/ QUOTE ]
He actually dissed me /images/graemlins/frown.gif

[/ QUOTE ]

I wasn't aware of either one of us dissing either one of us.

[/ QUOTE ]

Sorry /images/graemlins/frown.gif

[Blarg]

I remembering reading a long article about L.A. news, and it was described as the worst in any major city in the nation. Our news here is so feature-based rather than hard-news oriented, and cut into such tiny chunks that even major issues are given less time than a single commercial, that the world the media describes can become surreal and trivial easy to feel completely disconnected from. A famine or civil war killing millions might be mentioned once every few weeks, and in a broadcast that spends ten times as long on a local dog show. Most people don't read the newspapers or know what's going on in either local politics or more broadly. So it can be strange and out of sync with our environment to think that anything really matters or could be taken seriously.

That anyone does actually care about anything can be so out of character it frankly scares people and sometimes prompts them to anger or ridicule, as if not caring or really knowing about anything were a form of sophistication or fair-mindedness, and trying to do anything or give a damn was a fall from grace or hopelessly naive.

I admire people who can commit to something in a world that sometimes seems to be all about nothing, and where fitting in is both such a treasured goal and an excuse for almost anything. Simply sincerely giving a crap is pretty cool.

I admire people like those retirees who have come down to help in Lousiana. It's not as easy to get around for them as it is for some of us, but they're still willing to bust their ass and put their health at risk for total strangers, for no reward. People like that give you a little perspective on yourself.

[stabn]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]

I have no problem with responsible concealed carry.

[/ QUOTE ]

Guns put away safely in one's domicile are fine. There's no such thing as "responsible concealed carry".

[/ QUOTE ]

Bullshit. But this isn't an appropriate thread to have this discussion.

[/ QUOTE ]

I agree on both counts.

[/ QUOTE ]

[KaneKungFu123]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Life can seem really secure, but the foundation is shakier than it looks.

[/ QUOTE ]

That was pretty much the point.

[/ QUOTE ]

its more then shakier, its a complete illusion.

[radek2166]

I work in a hospital. I have seen newborns die and old people die.

In fact I haveseen more people die than annyone should.

The hardest 2 I have ever experienced have been the guy that went into a funky atrial heartbeat. he was 24 I was 28. Listenig to his mother whale sucked.


A few weeks ago a 15 month old was brought in. He has fallen into an irrigation ditch and drowned. Hes was missing for 45 minutes or so. When they brought him in his temp was 83 eyes open. Just tore me up inside. The only saving grace that I could find was that we did not revive him after he did not have a heartbeat for over 2 hours.

I am working in a town of 6000 they had the balls to anounce the ladies name over the radio that was watching him.

That realy sucks.

[theBruiser500]

Bump, I think Diablo's intention with the thread title of "stuff that makes you pause and reflect on everything" was for people to post their own stories, which would be quite interesting.

[kgrad5]

http://www.cbc.ca/story/canada/national/2005/09/21/alicia_ross_abducted20050921.html

it happened about a minutes walk from my house...
now that made me stop and think..
and the fucker was living right next door and probably giving condolences to the family and living within walking distance of my family for over a month..
thank g-d he decided to give himself up

[Weatherhead03]

This OP comes at a very weird time. Lastnight I was out at a party. This party was for my friend's birthday. The ages at this party are around 18-19 mainly. So about an hour and a half in two 22 year old kids show up. These kids are known in my city as being "crazy". Although we havent had any run-ins with these kids we've heard about them.

So 5 mins after they show up they start lipping everyone off and start throwing all the wood into the fire and causing a scene. I presume to get the point accross that they are older and bigger than we are. At about this time one of my friends confront him and ask him why hes even here. He has no friends here and what was the point of him being there. This is when they take of their shirts and say they are going to line everyone up and kick everyone's ass's. By this time there are about 30 of us around the kids. Then these kids grab the original kid who confronted them and bring them 10 feet away and pull out 2 9mm hand guns and put on to his head and say "not another word outa you or we'll shoot everyone down". Needless to say he shut up and they soon left. For the rest of the night we were left thinking how bad things could have gotten.

Scary considering ive never seen anything close to that in my life.

[Ulysses]

[ QUOTE ]
Here is something that made me pause and think. At the anti war club someone came in who is a part of "veterans against the war". He was in the Persian Gulf War, and became strongly against war. He decided to drop out of college and spend his time working against war. What struck me was that he cared so deeply about this that he changed his life to work on it.

In the newspaper there have been a few stories about people refusing to serve in the military and going to jail and I always thought "big deal it's just a few people." This brought home the point that these were people who are not losers, crazy, or fools but intelligent real people and with lives of their own that cared so much about a topic they sacrificed greatly for it.

[/ QUOTE ]

You should do some volunteering, Bruiser. I think you will be exposed to a lot of stuff that you will really take a lot from, more than many others do. Working with the poor and homeless involved in programs to help get them back on their feet is something I think would be good for you. Also, working w/ abused kids, but that can be very stressful. Things like family shelters, homeless job programs, Habitat for Humanity, these are all things where you can learn a lot and do some good. Food banks and soup kitchens can also be enlightening. Also, hot chicks often volunteer.

[Ulysses]

That is pretty damn hardcore.

[college_boy]

A couple weeks ago i was sitting around talking to a friend of mine's dad. I've known him for like 8 years. He had a motorcycle and because I had never been on one he convinced me to take a 30 minute ride with him. I am a pussy so I was scared shitless. We had a good time laughing and talking that night. 2 days later he got hit at an intersection and died on the spot. We were fairly close and played b-ball together on most sunday nights for 6-7 years. He wasn't a good guy like we say after people die. He was one of the better human beings I've met.It's changed the way I think about and live life.

[ QUOTE ]

...So, it's not something that really impacts me directly.


[/ QUOTE ]

El D,

It did impact you directly. And it seems to have caused a lot of guys here to pour out things not usually seen around this board. (that's not a bad thing) So, in a way, it's impacted them directly.

While I was watching all the Katrina and Rita coverage, I was thinking how that was impacting this country. And how, not so long ago, the tsunami wiped out all those people. The tsunami damage and death toll can't ever be known. Only guessed at. But, since it wasn't "in our own backyard," most of us read it, thought, "Sad," and we went on our way.

Katrina and Rita were in our backyard. Thousands and thousands of us around the country were impacted. We know/knew people there. Many of us have relatives there. Many of us have been there for business or pleasure. So we "related."

What I'm getting at is how tenuous life is. Tragedy strikes anywhere, anytime, and no distinction is made as to who gets the dirty end of the stick. Over the years I've had a couple of close friends and a few relatives who were taken by really weird events. It's never easy to handle. It can get you thinking seriously about a lot of things you usually don't.

I appreciate all of you who've posted your feelings. I thank you for letting me see that you're not all "a buncha dumass, beer-chuggin', card playin', p***y chasin', hounds." /images/graemlins/grin.gif

Now I'm draggin' my boney old ass off to bed.

Good nite and God bless.

[PoBoy321]

The summer before my senior year of high school, I was in TN working with Habitat For Humanity as a community service project for my school, a small, close-knit all-boys Catholic high school in the Bronx. One day, after we'd come back to the cabin we were living in, before dinner started, the teacher who was there organizing the trip got us all together in the eating area and told us that he had just received a call from another teacher telling him that our classmate and a good friend of mine had killed himself the night before. No one was exactly sure what had triggered it, but we knew that he had fought bouts of depression and that there were some family issues at home. I don't think I've been in a more silent before or since then.

A few months later, right after Thanksgiving, our principal gathered everyone in my class in our auditorium, which we did once a week anyway, but it wasn't scheduled for that day. He announced to us that another classmate, and a good friend of mine, had killed himself. This was especially unexpected because he (at least as far as anyone knew) wasn't depressed, didn't have any family problems, and as a matter of fact, had just begun plans to start a band with some friends of his that they wanted to treat very seriously and make a long-term project.

These two events in my life are easily the two most significant and have, more than anything else, helped me realize just how fragile our lives really are and how fortunate I am that I'm not in a place of such deep despair as these two friends of mine were.

[newfant]

[ QUOTE ]
Then these kids grab the original kid who confronted them and bring them 10 feet away and pull out 2 9mm hand guns and put on to his head and say "not another word outa you or we'll shoot everyone down". Needless to say he shut up and they soon left. For the rest of the night we were left thinking how bad things could have gotten.


[/ QUOTE ]

What really sucks about this is that if you were to report these guys they would likely only get a couple of months in jail. Yet, if someone gets caught using crack three times they go to jail for at least five years.

[bernie]

[ QUOTE ]
When these things do happen to someone I know, it makes me realize that I often take too much for granted and often don't appreciate what I have as much as I should. As you say, the shock does wear off, and I usually fall back into the same old attitudes.


[/ QUOTE ]

You haven't had someone very close to you die yet? Family member or bud? Just wondering...

When that starts happening, and it tends to come in waves it seems, it will really rock your world. Especially the 'unexpected' deaths.

b

[Weatherhead03]

It crossed my mind to call the police after this happened but for some reason I had this image of one of them or their drug dealing friends doing something to our friends. These kids have been on our city's most wanted lists on and off and they are known for having no brains so I just let it go really and hope to never see them again. I would hate for them to do something to my friend who confronted them after it was me who called the police.

[maryfield48]

After a year of law school, I decided it wasn't for me. So I left, and went to work at an insurance company. I was doing all right, but I would sometimes second-guess myself. Especially when the class that I was part of graduated with their shiny new law degrees.

Then, a year or so after their graduation, one of the class was killed in an motor vehicle accident. I wasn't close to him, we were acquaintances, he seemed like a nice guy.

But I never again second-guessed that decision. You can't tell where the road not taken may have lead you, all you can do is make the best life you can from wherever you happen to be.

[DcifrThs]

VISCOME, ROBERT JOSEPH - Robert Joseph Viscome died April 30, 2002 at the Westchester County Medical Center as a result of a tragic circumstances on April 23, 2002.

Circumstances surrounding the death of Robert Viscome (http://www.thejournalnews.com/viscome/06viscomemain.html)

El D,

before you read this artice: David Porzio was in the class below me at rye county day. we hung out sometimes and played hockey together.

John Porzio was my brother's best friend along w/ two or 3 other guys.

THeir whole family was very close with mine...johnny came to our house frequenty on fridays for Shabbot dinner.

robbie (robert viscome) was a friend of devin's (my brother). this event changed his life. period. he was into rap at the time and wrote a song about it, i dont know how to post it but the song is called Robbie V. it was played frequently in harrison and the surrouding neighborhood for a long time. i still listen to it and occasionally cry thinking of what happened.

the events surrounding Robbie V's untimely death teach that responsibility as teens, parents, onlookers, and friends is of greater import than it currnetly has in today's society.

my brother's song:

"to my man robbie v, I remember how we used to be/ could look me/right in the eye and speak to truth to me-cause you were sincere, through your heart is where the truth would appear and now its hard without you livin here, i know you god for rap. your parents hurtin but dont worry kid i got they back, your my boy for cetain thats why i dropped this track, forget all of these cats there's a lot they lack/ they left you on the ground bleedin'/and thats the reason your with god now asound sleepin/ i promise you if i was there you'd be around speakin/ there's a place for you in my heart, i found deep in/ i pray you miss me/ show me where im headed kid i take you wit me/we was boys like that, so now im askin god how he's takin my boy like that but through my pen rob im givin your voice back.

to my man robbie v, dont you 'member how we used to be/sittin watch me producin beats/with the illest of smirks which show you lovin the sound/shits deep how you six feet under the ground?/ now im thinkin it hurts to know you leavin/ but whats makin this worse is how you stopped breathin/that day in the church you saw your pops greavin/you was one of the best kid, tops even/ shut the interstate have my chest thumpin/now what does that say other than you meant somethin/you were deeper than words and not just side-spoken/ i can't sleep when it hurts sit with my eyes open, BUT i rise to the test/ even though you gone kid i feel you changed our lives for the best 'cause you livin within all of us, dwellin inside, im FEELIN it, NOW i raise my L in the sky/ to my man robbie v

yo' this song is dedicated to this kid in the sky/ you felt related when you looked in his eye/god how much i hate it when you took him i cried/to my man robbie v kid you shouldn't of died

you told me you was on what i got/loved it when i hit you off of the top/gave me pounds beggin start from the top/ you aint around think i hardly forgot?/damn son, thats the day my heart'll just stop/ so until we meet again nothings stoppin our love/ we feelin safer now with you watchin above/'cause you aint on court dont mean you left the game/when i blow up i promise kid i wont forget your name

to my man robbie v, rest in peace kid.



sorry for the long post, but it felt good to write. i know that whole song by heart. i get goosebumps writing it.

i hope this story and the song touch you in some way el D b/c its very similar to the tragic events you described...but w/o the guns.

-Barron

[PoBoy321]

I remember this, I went to Fordham Prep in the Bronx and a lot of my friends were from that area and some of them knew him. It really was an incredible shame.

[Ulysses]

Man, sounds like they had a good shot if they just called 911 straight away, which makes it just so much more sick.

[w_alloy]

My younger brother's best friend (who I was also pretty close to) was on a soccer team with him. There was a mid seasson state wide tournament, and I watched their team win 1st place in a close game. Right after we got home, we got a call and heard my brother's best friend died when his car hit a moose and he went throught the windshield. We left just a 20 seconds ahead of him on the same highway; he was right behind us.

We visited his family and his body the next day at the hospital and it was really wierd, he was on a ventillater but technically dead because he was an organ donor.

[Go_Blue88]

To me, the most amazing thing about tragedies like these that most of us have experienced is how they simply emphasize the almost-cliche phrase, "life goes on." Someone close to me died in a drunk-driving accident, and at the time I felt that I'd relish every second I had left in life. While I had this new outlook for a few weeks, soon bull$hit stresses returned--girls, grades, family, etc-- and he's now just a distant memory. I'd like to be able to say that his death completely changed my outlook on life, but now I sit here five years later worrying about writing a paper for a class that I don't even care about. It is impossible for people to avoid transitioning back to some form of routine. It's just strange b/c at least for me, these routines encompass such trivial things; things that I thought I'd stop caring about 5 years ago.

[KaneKungFu123]

[ QUOTE ]
Bump, I think Diablo's intention with the thread title of "stuff that makes you pause and reflect on everything" was for people to post their own stories, which would be quite interesting.

[/ QUOTE ]

a twenty something year old women was jogging and a tree fell on and killed her instantly on the sidewalk in my neighborhood.

another one was when some psycho teenager broke into this family house and murdered a little girl, her father and mother a block away from me for no reason.

and lastly was when i watched my grandma go from alive to dead in her hospital bed and it all looked so natural, scary but peaceful at the same time.

[DasLeben]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]

I have no problem with responsible concealed carry.

[/ QUOTE ]

Guns put away safely in one's domicile are fine. There's no such thing as "responsible concealed carry".

[/ QUOTE ]

Bullshit. But this isn't an appropriate thread to have this discussion.

[/ QUOTE ]

It's not even a discussion. It's something simple and obvious.

[/ QUOTE ]

...Right. In the deluded world we call ignorance.

[daveymck]

[ QUOTE ]


and lastly was when i watched my grandma go from alive to dead in her hospital bed and it all looked so natural, scary but peaceful at the same time.

[/ QUOTE ]

I couldnt go through this mine dies two months ago now, got the phone call to go through and see her, she had been depressed and and skeleton of her former self, she was a strong opinionated woman it was terrible seeing her gasping for breath. Managed to convince her to goto hospital to make her comfortable so I said my goodbyes in the ambulance (was literally a goodbye I was too choked up for anything else) and ran in the house. My sisters went and said it was peaceful but terrible each time she stopped breathing they were is that it, silence then breath again.

What shocked me was the pain her death brought me up until the funeral a few days later it just would hit me in waves of pain and tears, it was a bizarre experience. I know if I lost my daughter based off that that it would take me forever to rebuild my life and may well be the end of it, its every paretns nightmare you worry endlessly and needlessly about you kids.


Those who can pause and reflect and do do things to change and experience a different life I would say go for it, our time is short and once you get families and relationships and kids etc etc, travel and the other things young people should do become a lot more difficult.


My second story a kid I used to live next to who I last saw when he was maybe 8 or 9 is now 25 and two weeks ago was revving his bike on that same street, went flying off lost control mounted the pavement and went through the community centre wall and window (its a wooden building) pretty much severing his arm.

[baumer]

"Nature neither knows nor cares."

Sad but true.

[peachy]

man...why did i have to read this before trying to go to sleep /images/graemlins/frown.gif i hate stuff like this...makes me sad

[orange]

Death brings us closer to reality in almost all circumstances. Suddenly, everything seems so meaningful, every moment living matters, and those you love are closer than ever.

Time changes these feelings- I had a very close friend of mine killed in a car accident a year ago. Did this affect me? Yes, very much so. But as of now, she is a very cherished memory, and every idea of 'living life to the fullest' is overwhelmed by everyday life.

[ethan]

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and lastly was when i watched my grandma go from alive to dead in her hospital bed and it all looked so natural, scary but peaceful at the same time.

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Death manages to be at the same time amazing...tragic and peaceful and painful and terrible and just...sad. Death just seems like such an absurd thing to witness, even after I've seen it. It's still not easy for me to accept that someone can disappear so quickly.

Death you see coming is different from unexpected death, but neither's easy. All of my grandparents have passed on, but only one did so when I was old enough to remember. Anyone else I've known who died did so unexpectedly. My roommate's brother had five close friends die in two years, after the brother'd spent significant time in a hospital getting his fibromyalgia treated. (Basically, they all had cancer.) This all happened 2-3 years ago, and this brother just turned 18. The youngest of those who died was 12 (leukemia), and her picture's sitting on their refrigerator every time I head to his house to do my laundry.

It made it very difficult for me to have any self-pity.

[DcifrThs]

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Man, sounds like they had a good shot if they just called 911 straight away, which makes it just so much more sick.

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aftermath:

nobody who was real good friends w/ johnny (moreso than beth or dave) dont really talk to him anymore...but he was always a dick to kids he didn't like and its just all coming back around to him...dont get me wrong though, he was great to my brother and had a great heart for those he liked/loved...just a short fuse and a malacious mind.

John Sr. and Ellen porzio are great great people, albeit overly tolerant parents, and can't sell their multi-million dollar house in harrison due to the events that transpired there. beth, viscome's prom date, was absolutely devastated, as were robbie's friends and family and teammates.

the whole neighborhood was agast at the death. if you drive around westchester, or anywhere aroudn there really, and you see a yellow and blue #77 stuck on the back of a car or on a backpack or a football jersey w/ RIP on it, thats in memory of robbie v.

one time my brother was watchin me play some 40/80 on paradise on my mom's bed in our home in NY and i get 7d7h in the bb, he turns to me and goes, youre gunna win this hand...i ask him why he says that and he replies 'cause robbies lookin out for ya.

i flopped a set vs. a flush and straight draw, both hit the turn. board paired the river. so that was the most "touching" poker hand i can remember. now he calls 77 robbie v.

anyways, it was rediculous that kids can be so cruel and selfish.

i do wonder how dave is doing and i should probably give him a call, he was just a great guy.

life goes on though.

thanks for the post el D. it does stop and make you think.

Barron

[fnord_too]

When I was 24, my best friend died of meningitis. I was away at school and hadn't talked to him in about a week when I got the call. Aparently he thought he had a nasty flu that had been going around, the whole thing happened astoundingly fast. That was almost 12 years ago and I still think about it a lot.

Life is at once incredibly vulnerable and incredibly resilient. Having kids is another thing that really makes you think hard about life and death.

[theBruiser500]

IMO, the way some eastern cultures strive to accept death as a natural part of life is admirable. Does anyone have experience with this? Also, bump, this thread should get more attention.

[fnord_too]

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IMO, the way some eastern cultures strive to accept death as a natural part of life is admirable. Does anyone have experience with this? Also, bump, this thread should get more attention.

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I aspire to that. I have been thinking tons about life and death lately, and I bounce back and forth from being completly cool with the whole cycle and feeling like I will not not have enough time/energy/focus to accomplish all the things I want to accomplish in life. Also, having a family that I am supporting entirely puts a lot of pressure on me to stick around and be productive for the next few decades at least. All pretty scary when it only takes one idiot chaning lanes when you are in their blind spot or some other random crap to end it all.

[Blarg]

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When these things do happen to someone I know, it makes me realize that I often take too much for granted and often don't appreciate what I have as much as I should. As you say, the shock does wear off, and I usually fall back into the same old attitudes.


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You haven't had someone very close to you die yet? Family member or bud? Just wondering...

When that starts happening, and it tends to come in waves it seems, it will really rock your world. Especially the 'unexpected' deaths.

b

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Yeah, it's strange how it can come in waves, just really taking more and more balance out from under you each time.

When five friends of mine were diagnosed with cancer within about five weeks, the shock really accumulated and echoed. It can really drill into you when it's not just one terrible thing, but they just keep on coming before you've had a chance to get your mind around any of it.