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View Full Version : My day at the free STD clinic...


jakethebake
09-30-2005, 09:44 AM
The other day I got an e-mail regarding a hepetitis A outbreak (http://www.globalgamingexpo.com/app/homepage.cfm?appname=100435&moduleID=2285&LinkID=1 9608&Date=0&campaignid=3731&iUserCampaignID=243424 44) that i may have been exposed to. So I make an appointment with my doctor. She sends my test to the lab and then asks when the exposure occurred. I tell her, and she says, "Oh the test is a waste of time then. You need a shot today."

So she has me call the Miami-Dade County Health Dept. The nice lady tells me go to Clinic 4 when I get there. She neglects to mention this is the free STD clinic. This was the most disgusting place I've ever been. It was full of crack whores, transvestites, gay couples making out, etc. I think I was the only person there that actually showered that morning. It was repulsive.

I wait an hour huddling in a corner trying not to touch anyone before my name is called. I go in to see the nurse who starts explaining that even if I get it, Hep A isn't so bad. In addition to the shot I needed, she offers me a vaccine. It was a two part thing though, and no way in hell was I going back to that place.

I ask her if my wife needs to get tested. She says Hep A is only carried in feces. She calmly explains that if during the course of sexual relations, anything went from my ass to her mouth, then yes she should be tested. I'm just sitting there staring at her until she says, it's actually pretty common there. Wtf?

So basically, I went to Vegas for four days, had a pretty shitty time, was a good boy, and still had to deal with this [censored]. Test results came back neg today, which is good I guess so the most disgusting experience of my life was all for nothing anyway.

This is one crappy day and I just wanted to share this. /images/graemlins/frown.gif

steelcmg
09-30-2005, 09:47 AM
did the nurse play with ur balls?

Slow Play Ray
09-30-2005, 09:48 AM
gross.

Shajen
09-30-2005, 09:48 AM
Yeah, I have to agree with her, it is pretty common for [censored] to get in your partners mouth during intercourse.

/images/graemlins/confused.gif /images/graemlins/confused.gif /images/graemlins/confused.gif /images/graemlins/confused.gif

Humanity frightens me.

BTW, this would be an awesome spot for the crop duster, on your way out.

diebitter
09-30-2005, 09:48 AM
Did you ask for 2, 3, or 4 fingers?

jakethebake
09-30-2005, 09:48 AM
[ QUOTE ]
did the nurse play with ur balls?

[/ QUOTE ]

No. There was no removal of clothing. I rolled up my sleeve for the shot. I don't she could've found my balls anyway. That place had scared them inside.

jakethebake
09-30-2005, 09:49 AM
[ QUOTE ]
Did you ask for 2, 3, or 4 fingers?

[/ QUOTE ]

I don't even know what this means. /images/graemlins/confused.gif

Slow Play Ray
09-30-2005, 09:49 AM
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Did you ask for 2, 3, or 4 fingers?

[/ QUOTE ]

I don't even know what this means. /images/graemlins/confused.gif

[/ QUOTE ]

come on - road trip!

kurosh
09-30-2005, 09:51 AM
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Did you ask for 2, 3, or 4 fingers?

[/ QUOTE ]

I don't even know what this means. /images/graemlins/confused.gif

[/ QUOTE ]Up your butt.

jakethebake
09-30-2005, 09:51 AM
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Did you ask for 2, 3, or 4 fingers?

[/ QUOTE ]

I don't even know what this means. /images/graemlins/confused.gif

[/ QUOTE ]

come on - road trip!

[/ QUOTE ]

Now i'm in a shitty mood and confused as well. /images/graemlins/confused.gif

Vavavoom
09-30-2005, 09:51 AM
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Did you ask for 2, 3, or 4 fingers?

[/ QUOTE ]

I don't even know what this means. /images/graemlins/confused.gif

[/ QUOTE ]

They will check for various afflictions in the back door...

jakethebake
09-30-2005, 09:52 AM
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Did you ask for 2, 3, or 4 fingers?

[/ QUOTE ]
I don't even know what this means. /images/graemlins/confused.gif

[/ QUOTE ]
They will check for various afflictions in the back door...

[/ QUOTE ]
Oh. there was not checking of my pooper.

diebitter
09-30-2005, 09:53 AM
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Did you ask for 2, 3, or 4 fingers?

[/ QUOTE ]

I don't even know what this means. /images/graemlins/confused.gif

[/ QUOTE ]

come on - road trip!

[/ QUOTE ]

Now i'm in a shitty mood and confused as well. /images/graemlins/confused.gif

[/ QUOTE ]
Don't sweat it. Just file it away, and pull it out if you ever see 'road trip'.

jakethebake
09-30-2005, 09:54 AM
[ QUOTE ]
Don't sweat it. Just file it away, and pull it out if you ever see 'road trip'.

[/ QUOTE ]

I saw roadtrip. Was that from the sperm donation scene?

Slow Play Ray
09-30-2005, 09:54 AM
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Don't sweat it. Just file it away, and pull it out if you ever see 'road trip'.

[/ QUOTE ]

I saw roadtrip. Was that from the sperm donation scene?

[/ QUOTE ]

yes. and the end.

LALDAAS
09-30-2005, 09:54 AM
[ QUOTE ]
did the nurse play with ur balls?

[/ QUOTE ]

ROFL

This post made my morning

IndieMatty
09-30-2005, 09:55 AM
Glad you're ok. But "gay couples making out" is lame. Would it be ok if they were straight? Just say you hate queers or something. /images/graemlins/smirk.gif

ChipWrecked
09-30-2005, 09:55 AM
[ QUOTE ]
Yeah, I have to agree with her, it is pretty common for [censored] to get in your partners mouth during intercourse.

/images/graemlins/confused.gif /images/graemlins/confused.gif /images/graemlins/confused.gif /images/graemlins/confused.gif

Humanity frightens me.

BTW, this would be an awesome spot for the crop duster, on your way out.

[/ QUOTE ]

Well, if you've ever seen German pr0n.....

"Oh my God Cartman, that is your mom!"

"Retch"

jakethebake
09-30-2005, 09:56 AM
[ QUOTE ]
Glad you're ok. But "gay couples making out" is lame. Would it be ok if they were straight? Just say you hate queers or something. /images/graemlins/smirk.gif

[/ QUOTE ]

I hate watching them make out in the middle of an STD clinic. And these two would have been disgusting even if one was female.

ChipWrecked
09-30-2005, 09:56 AM
[ QUOTE ]
Glad you're ok. But "gay couples making out" is lame. Would it be ok if they were straight? Just say you hate queers or something. /images/graemlins/smirk.gif

[/ QUOTE ]

Hell, you can see that in the mall around here.

Vavavoom
09-30-2005, 09:57 AM
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Did you ask for 2, 3, or 4 fingers?

[/ QUOTE ]
I don't even know what this means. /images/graemlins/confused.gif

[/ QUOTE ]
They will check for various afflictions in the back door...

[/ QUOTE ]
Oh. there was not checking of my pooper.

[/ QUOTE ]

I remember my first test. I had my best mate telling me they were going to stick fingers up my bum, do all sorts of scraping and put something down my *J@ps Eye*....

Needless to say it was a very painful experience, which was made even worse having to be naked from the waist down so that my balls could be checked for lumps etc....

Oh, How I miss the good old days !

jakethebake
09-30-2005, 09:58 AM
[ QUOTE ]
I remember my first test. I had my best mate telling me they were going to stick fingers up my bum, do all sorts of scraping and put something down my *J@ps Eye*....

Needless to say it was a very painful experience, which was made even worse having to be naked from the waist down so that my balls could be checked for lumps etc....

Oh, How I miss the good old days !

[/ QUOTE ]

What the hell were they checking you for?

Vavavoom
09-30-2005, 10:03 AM
The Works....! I worked abroad as a holiday rep for 4 summer seasons and when I got back I needed to have the full tests....

But it was for Chlymadia, Herpes, Syphilis, Crabs, Gonorrhea. The only one I wasn't tested for was HIV/Aids...But I have regular tests like every 9-12 months, as U can never be sure whos got STD/STI's....

FWIW, I have probably made myself sound like a proper skank but I'm not...I got the all clear !

LALDAAS
09-30-2005, 10:10 AM
Before I went to Costa Rica in June I had to have all my shots.

Hep A (it is actually 3 shots. The 1st. The 2nd is in 1 month and the 3 is in 6 months)
Hep B is 1 shot

Tetnis this shot made my damn arm hurt for a week.

[ QUOTE ]
She says Hep A is only carried in feces.

[/ QUOTE ]

This is the reason I needed the vaccinations. Certin areas of 3rd world contries do not hold the standards that we do for water filteration as we do.

From my understanding from the doctor Hep A is possibly contractable as simple as eating a salad. So a salad is washed with water before serving, Wammoo Hep A.

jakethebake
09-30-2005, 10:11 AM
[ QUOTE ]
Hep A (it is actually 3 shots. The 1st. The 2nd is in 1 month and the 3 is in 6 months)
Hep B is 1 shot

[/ QUOTE ]

That's different than what she told me. She told me HepA was 2 shots and HepB was three. Weird.

09-30-2005, 10:12 AM
instead of going thru all this at the clinic, why didn't your regular doc just give you the shot right then????

jakethebake
09-30-2005, 10:13 AM
[ QUOTE ]
instead of going thru all this at the clinic, why didn't your regular doc just give you the shot right then????

[/ QUOTE ]

Apparently gamma globulin for Hep A isn't something doctors just keep on hand. They would've had to order it and there wasn't time.

ChipWrecked
09-30-2005, 10:14 AM
Christ, I hope at least the ice cream was good.

bosoxfan
09-30-2005, 10:15 AM
[ QUOTE ]
She says Hep A is only carried in feces.

[/ QUOTE ]

What were you doing that you needed to be tested?

guess i should have clicked the link /images/graemlins/blush.gif

jakethebake
09-30-2005, 10:16 AM
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
She says Hep A is only carried in feces.

[/ QUOTE ]
What were you doing that you needed to be tested?

[/ QUOTE ]

Guy serving ice cream didn't wash his hands.

bosoxfan
09-30-2005, 10:18 AM
What kind of ice cream did you have?

jakethebake
09-30-2005, 10:18 AM
[ QUOTE ]
What kind of ice cream did you have?

[/ QUOTE ]

Hell if i remember.

touchfaith
09-30-2005, 10:53 AM
[ QUOTE ]
Test results came back neg today...

[/ QUOTE ]

Bummer

dcasper70
09-30-2005, 10:55 AM
How the hell did everyone miss this....

[ QUOTE ]
Hep A is only carried in feces.

[/ QUOTE ]

OK Jake, HOW MIGHT YOU HAVE BEEN EXPOSED?????

jakethebake
09-30-2005, 10:56 AM
[ QUOTE ]
How the hell did everyone miss this....

[ QUOTE ]
THep A is only carried in feces.

[/ QUOTE ]

OK Jake, HOW MIGHT YOU HAVE BEEN EXPOSED?????

[/ QUOTE ]

Try reading the thread before posting.

dcasper70
09-30-2005, 10:58 AM
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
How the hell did everyone miss this....

[ QUOTE ]
THep A is only carried in feces.

[/ QUOTE ]

OK Jake, HOW MIGHT YOU HAVE BEEN EXPOSED?????

[/ QUOTE ]

Try reading the thread before posting.

[/ QUOTE ]

Yeah, I can see how that might have been helpful... /images/graemlins/frown.gif

cadillac1234
09-30-2005, 11:02 AM
Haha...Next time tell your MD that no way in hell are you ever going to go to a free clinic again and to order the shots to his office.

Back in 1989 to get into Paramedic school I had to have a phyisical and take a syphilis test (seriously...it was for paramedic school) I didn't have insurance and they only place to get the test under $300 was Planned Parenthood.

Best part was when the nurse shouted across the room of unwed mothers-to-be that she was ready to draw my blood for the syphilis test.

B Dids
09-30-2005, 11:03 AM
[ QUOTE ]
Glad you're ok. But "gay couples making out" is lame. Would it be ok if they were straight? Just say you hate queers or something. /images/graemlins/smirk.gif

[/ QUOTE ]

To be fair, unless somebody involved is just ungodly hot, people making out in public places is kinda nasty.

jakethebake
09-30-2005, 11:04 AM
[ QUOTE ]
Haha...Next time tell your MD that no way in hell are you ever going to go to a free clinic again and to order the shots to his office.

[/ QUOTE ]

By the time I found out about it, I had to have the shot that day. There was no time to order it.

HopeydaFish
09-30-2005, 11:21 AM
[ QUOTE ]

Best part was when the nurse shouted across the room of unwed mothers-to-be that she was ready to draw my blood for the syphilis test.

[/ QUOTE ]

I had something similar happen to me a few years ago. I was experiencing symptoms that the doctor thought might be the clap (turned out to be a non STD UTI, thankfully). He wanted to take a "urethral swab" (it's as fun as it sounds) but couldn't find any of the swabs in the office. Next thing I know he's asking the receptionist at the front desk where the urethral swabs are -- in front of about 15 people in the waiting room. Then she asks him what they're used for, and the doctor gets impatient and raises his voice as he's saying, "They're to insert in the penis to get a culture to test for Chlamydia".

There was only one doctor in the office that day, so when I had to walk back through the waiting room everyone knows that it was *my* penis that had gotten swabbed. /images/graemlins/tongue.gif

DMBFan23
09-30-2005, 11:22 AM
[ QUOTE ]
BTW, this would be an awesome spot for the crop duster, on your way out.

[/ QUOTE ]

very, very nice.

by the way your avatar looks like a condom package, not making a value judgement at all, more an observation

RacersEdge
09-30-2005, 11:35 AM
This is shocking - you have a female doctor?