Haiku Challenge - sex haiku

[diebitter]

buenos dias, beetches!

Beat this:

I have blown my load,
Another one done before
Death halts the scorecard.

[BoxTree]

Vaginal phlegm. Yum.
Like Chinese sweet and sour sauce.
But less caloric.

[WackityWhiz]

[ QUOTE ]
Vaginal phlegm. Yum.
Like Chinese sweet and sour sauce.
But less caloric.

[/ QUOTE ]

I don't even feel like trying.. this one rules

[shant]

Camera, fat guy
Popsicles and olive oil
God damn that was hot

[WackityWhiz]

ok i'll contribute

Two.In.The.Pink.YAY
But.This.Is.Only.Half.OH!
One.In.The.Stink.EWW

[diebitter]

I agree with you that Boxtree's was so good, it killed the thread cold. But all of em have been pretty good so far, IMHO.

[WackityWhiz]

[ QUOTE ]
I agree with you that Boxtree's was so good, it killed the thread cold. But all of em have been pretty good so far, IMHO.

[/ QUOTE ]

upon 2nd look... is that 2nd line even 7 syllables? I say sour is 2...

[Slow Play Ray]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I agree with you that Boxtree's was so good, it killed the thread cold. But all of em have been pretty good so far, IMHO.

[/ QUOTE ]

upon 2nd look... is that 2nd line even 7 syllables? I say sour is 2...

[/ QUOTE ]

Sour is one syllable.

[diebitter]

[ QUOTE ]

upon 2nd look... is that 2nd line even 7 syllables? I say sour is 2...

[/ QUOTE ]

Hmmmm depends. Where I come from, sour is pronounced like a pirate 'saaar', but lots of places it's like 'tower'.

Not that important, really?

[WackityWhiz]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]

upon 2nd look... is that 2nd line even 7 syllables? I say sour is 2...

[/ QUOTE ]

Hmmmm depends. Where I come from, sour is pronounced like a pirate 'saaar', but lots of places it's like 'tower'.

Not that important, really?

[/ QUOTE ]

ya, this is tough... I drag the 'w' sound making it seem like 2 syllables. And you are right, definately not important

[2planka]

Nasty oral sex
Is a hazy memory
Now that we're married.

[KaneKungFu123]

atleast offer a prize to 1st place.

[Slow Play Ray]

Sense she's near climax,
But can I hold out that long?
Uh-oh, too late - oops.

[diebitter]

[ QUOTE ]
atleast offer a prize to 1st place.

[/ QUOTE ]
This is the worse Haiku I've ever read.

[Girchuck]

I put my fingers
Deep inside your orifice
You moan in delight

[Malachii]

[ QUOTE ]
Vaginal phlegm. Yum.
Like Chinese sweet and sour sauce.
But less caloric.

[/ QUOTE ]
LOL!!!

[Malachii]

At least this one fits the actual technical definition of a Haiku. You guys do realize it's supposed to be 5-7-5, right?

[MyTurn2Raise]

Swollen and flush chest
back arching and juices flowing
mean its now your turn

[diebitter]

[ QUOTE ]
At least this one fits the actual technical definition of a Haiku. You guys do realize it's supposed to be 5-7-5, right?

[/ QUOTE ]
Apart from the word 'sour' which we've already debated, which one doesn't fit the criteria, smart guy?

[MyTurn2Raise]

Post deleted by MyTurn2Raise

[diebitter]

Post deleted by diebitter

[MyTurn2Raise]

Post deleted by MyTurn2Raise

[MyTurn2Raise]

I am a moron
Forgive my indiscretion
Can't do addition

[diebitter]

Very nice. YAOIMB

[BreakEvenPlayer]

his dick was smaller
than his left pinky finger
she said on the phone.



yes i slept with her,
but with the word "slept" i meant
we didn't have sex.

[Vavavoom]

One Finger One Thumb
Get Some Lube And A Pen*s
Put down a Towel

[Vavavoom]

[ QUOTE ]

yes i slept with her,
but with the word "slept" i meant
we didn't have sex.

[/ QUOTE ]

Touche

[chuddo]

you stole the idea i was going to go with :/

nicely executed though.

[mslif]

[ QUOTE ]
buenos dias, beetches!

Beat this:

I have blown my load,
Another one done before
Death halts the scorecard.

[/ QUOTE ]

Such a poet! /images/graemlins/grin.gif

[diebitter]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
buenos dias, beetches!

Beat this:

I have blown my load,
Another one done before
Death halts the scorecard.

[/ QUOTE ]

Such a poet! /images/graemlins/grin.gif

[/ QUOTE ]
Leaver me be, you little tease

[KaneKungFu123]

ninety-five astro van
elementry school cul-de-sac
i know your parents

[jakethebake]

[ QUOTE ]
ninety-five astro van
elementry school cul-de-sac
i know your parents

[/ QUOTE ]

Wow. /images/graemlins/shocked.gif

[mslif]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
buenos dias, beetches!

Beat this:

I have blown my load,
Another one done before
Death halts the scorecard.

[/ QUOTE ]

Such a poet! /images/graemlins/grin.gif

[/ QUOTE ]
Leaver me be, you little tease

[/ QUOTE ]

/images/graemlins/frown.gif

[diebitter]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
buenos dias, beetches!

Beat this:

I have blown my load,
Another one done before
Death halts the scorecard.

[/ QUOTE ]

Such a poet! /images/graemlins/grin.gif

[/ QUOTE ]
Leaver me be, you little tease

[/ QUOTE ]

/images/graemlins/frown.gif

[/ QUOTE ]
Will you stop that. You're driving me crazy with desire, baby, you know you are /images/graemlins/crazy.gif

[mslif]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
buenos dias, beetches!

Beat this:

I have blown my load,
Another one done before
Death halts the scorecard.

[/ QUOTE ]

Such a poet! /images/graemlins/grin.gif

[/ QUOTE ]
Leaver me be, you little tease

[/ QUOTE ]

/images/graemlins/frown.gif

[/ QUOTE ]
Will you stop that. You're driving me crazy with desire, baby, you know you are /images/graemlins/crazy.gif

[/ QUOTE ]

You started the teasing with your sex haiku, I am just following your lead /images/graemlins/heart.gif

[diebitter]

I want your sex Haiku now.

[mslif]

[ QUOTE ]
I want your sex Haiku now.

[/ QUOTE ]

OK here it is:

Up my ass again
Tight and wet ready for you
Do it like a man

[Shajen]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I want your sex Haiku now.

[/ QUOTE ]

OK here it is:

Up my ass again
Tight and wet ready for you
Do it like a man

[/ QUOTE ]

Holy [censored].

[jakethebake]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I want your sex Haiku now.

[/ QUOTE ]

OK here it is:

Up my ass again
Tight and wet ready for you
Do it like a man

[/ QUOTE ]

I always do. /images/graemlins/heart.gif

[diebitter]

[ QUOTE ]
Do it like a man

[/ QUOTE ]

I just need to clear this up. Do you mean do it like a man would, or do it as if it were a man /images/graemlins/shocked.gif


Please tell me you're not a guy...

[mslif]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Do it like a man

[/ QUOTE ]

I just need to clear this up. Do you mean do it like a man would, or do it as if it were a man /images/graemlins/shocked.gif


Please tell me you're not a guy...

[/ QUOTE ]

Do it like a man, meaning don't be shy about it, just go for it.

I am not a guy, does that ruin the fantasy?

[jakethebake]

Spanking her red ass.
Pounding in and out harder.
Rough from behind her.

[diebitter]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Do it like a man

[/ QUOTE ]

I just need to clear this up. Do you mean do it like a man would, or do it as if it were a man /images/graemlins/shocked.gif


Please tell me you're not a guy...

[/ QUOTE ]

Do it like a man, meaning don't be shy about it, just go for it.

I am not a guy, does that ruin the fantasy?

[/ QUOTE ]
Nope.

Life is fan-[censored]-tastic!

Are you my OOT girlfriend now, booty call, or one-time only?

[mslif]

[ QUOTE ]
Are you my OOT girlfriend now, booty call, or one-time only?

[/ QUOTE ]

OOT girlfriend sounds nice. /images/graemlins/grin.gif

[sexdrugsmoney]

Live a monks life
A vow of celibacy
My hand is my wife

/images/graemlins/grin.gif

[diebitter]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Are you my OOT girlfriend now, booty call, or one-time only?

[/ QUOTE ]

OOT girlfriend sounds nice. /images/graemlins/grin.gif

[/ QUOTE ]
Yeah, we've been here before. You saucy bit of fluff /images/graemlins/wink.gif

Ok, I'll read you're Haiku later at home, and I'll have a good hard think.

[jakethebake]

My longest finger;
Goes deep inside her tight hole.
Rubs the spot. She cums.

[Georgia Avenue]

My haiku is brief--
it ends, like our sex,
before it should...

[Shajen]

Sweaty, pulsing sex
closer, closer, almost there
and I'm spent. *spooge*

[jakethebake]

Her lips around me.
Milking the juice from inside.
We both cum so hard.

[diebitter]

Jake, you need to get a room.

[jakethebake]

[ QUOTE ]
Jake, you need to get a room.

[/ QUOTE ]

Is that an offer?

[fingokra]

I can't count to five
Seven syllables is hard
F this I give up

Rod Stewart is free
Hey, fuzzy woodland creature
Make a run for it

Awake morning wood
Sure she blew away last night
Be back coming soon

[mslif]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Are you my OOT girlfriend now, booty call, or one-time only?

[/ QUOTE ]

OOT girlfriend sounds nice. /images/graemlins/grin.gif

[/ QUOTE ]
Yeah, we've been here before. You saucy bit of fluff /images/graemlins/wink.gif

Ok, I'll read you're Haiku later at home, and I'll have a good hard think.

[/ QUOTE ]

Let me know if there's a happy ending.

[sexdrugsmoney]

Me love you long time
Said girlfriend of seventeen
This love is a crime

/images/graemlins/grin.gif

[jakethebake]

Fingers in her hair.
Pulling her mouth to mine hard.
Our tongues dance as one.

[diebitter]

[ QUOTE ]
Let me know if there's a happy ending.

[/ QUOTE ]
Oh, there will be. I never miss a happy ending or two. You want me to haiku you now?

[sexdrugsmoney]

[ QUOTE ]
Fingers in her hair.
Pulling her mouth to mine hard.
Our tongues dance as one.

[/ QUOTE ]

Your hai-ku is gay
timer said it correctly
You are an assclown

/images/graemlins/tongue.gif

[fingokra]

unwiliing force done
sirens blarring blue lights flash
prison daddy's son

Youn girl owes the rent
Old lady landlord is wet
Compromise is met

[mslif]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Let me know if there's a happy ending.

[/ QUOTE ]
Oh, there will be. I never miss a happy ending or two. You want me to haiku you now?

[/ QUOTE ]

/images/graemlins/heart.gif

[sexdrugsmoney]

[ QUOTE ]
unwiliing force done
sirens blarring blue lights flast
prison daddy's son

[/ QUOTE ]

LOL, this kicks ass. /images/graemlins/grin.gif /images/graemlins/grin.gif /images/graemlins/grin.gif /images/graemlins/grin.gif

[diebitter]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Let me know if there's a happy ending.

[/ QUOTE ]
Oh, there will be. I never miss a happy ending or two. You want me to haiku you now?

[/ QUOTE ]

/images/graemlins/heart.gif

[/ QUOTE ]
Slow... shallow....quick, deep
I fill you, you enwrap me,
Suck my throbbing [censored]!

[fingokra]

Today is special
Happy Birthday JaketheBake!
Many more ahead

[mslif]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Let me know if there's a happy ending.

[/ QUOTE ]
Oh, there will be. I never miss a happy ending or two. You want me to haiku you now?

[/ QUOTE ]

/images/graemlins/heart.gif

[/ QUOTE ]
Slow... shallow....quick, deep
I fill you, you enwrap me,
A perfect match burns.

[/ QUOTE ]

I have been haikued by Diebitter /images/graemlins/grin.gif
That was really good too.

[diebitter]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Let me know if there's a happy ending.

[/ QUOTE ]
Oh, there will be. I never miss a happy ending or two. You want me to haiku you now?

[/ QUOTE ]

/images/graemlins/heart.gif

[/ QUOTE ]
Slow... shallow....quick, deep
I fill you, you enwrap me,
A perfect match burns.

[/ QUOTE ]

I have been haikued by Diebitter /images/graemlins/grin.gif
That was really good too.

[/ QUOTE ]

I changed the ending. Take it as being Haikued twice, same start, different ending /images/graemlins/wink.gif

[Shajen]

My new sex haiku:

YES, YES, YES, YES, YES!
YES, YES, YES, YES, YES, YES, YES!
YES, YES, YES, YES, YES!

[mslif]

[ QUOTE ]
My new sex haiku:

YES, YES, YES, YES, YES!
YES, YES, YES, YES, YES, YES, YES!
YES, YES, YES, YES, YES!

[/ QUOTE ]

Brilliant

[jakethebake]

Rubbing. Grinding. Hot.
The friction of our bodies;
Through our clothes. So hot.

[diebitter]

[ QUOTE ]
My new sex haiku:

YES, YES, YES, YES, YES!
YES, YES, YES, YES, YES, YES, YES!
YES, YES, YES, YES, YES!

[/ QUOTE ]
hehe

My realistic sex haiku

Please, go on, go on
Please, come on, please, please, go on
Please, please, please, please, pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaase!

[jakethebake]

[ QUOTE ]
My realistic sex haiku

Please, go on, go on
Please, come on, please, please, go on
Please, please, please, please, pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaase!

[/ QUOTE ]

I have no idea what you're talking about? /images/graemlins/confused.gif

[fingokra]

No Daddy we can't
Shh, no one will ever know
Arkansas motto

[jakethebake]

This is fun... /images/graemlins/grin.gif

Your fingers stroking me.
The bulge growing through my clothes.
Rubbing it harder.

[diebitter]

[ QUOTE ]
I have no idea what you're talking about? /images/graemlins/confused.gif

[/ QUOTE ]
You're not just lying to me, you're lying to yourself.

[jakethebake]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I have no idea what you're talking about? /images/graemlins/confused.gif

[/ QUOTE ]
You're not just lying to me, you're lying to yourself.

[/ QUOTE ]

/images/graemlins/confused.gif

[fingokra]

My realist one

Do you want to now?
How about later tonight?
Right, headache my ass!

[mslif]

Realistic Haiku for the ladies:

Too quick for the win
My sexy 2 minute man
Alas dildo time

[diebitter]

[ QUOTE ]
Realistic Haiku for the ladies:

Too quick for the win
My sexy 2 minute man
Alas dildo time

[/ QUOTE ]

Not me, baby, and you know it /images/graemlins/wink.gif

[KaneKungFu123]

[ QUOTE ]
Live a monks life
A vow of celibacy
My hand is my wife

/images/graemlins/grin.gif

[/ QUOTE ]

monks arent supposed to jo.

[mslif]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Realistic Haiku for the ladies:

Too quick for the win
My sexy 2 minute man
Alas dildo time

[/ QUOTE ]

Not me, baby, and you know it /images/graemlins/wink.gif

[/ QUOTE ]

I wish I did /images/graemlins/heart.gif

[diebitter]

[ QUOTE ]
I wish I did /images/graemlins/heart.gif

[/ QUOTE ]

Here's your third:

My rough, big man's hands
gently cupping your soft flesh,
My lust is unbound.

[mslif]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I wish I did /images/graemlins/heart.gif

[/ QUOTE ]

Here's your third:

My rough, big man's hands
gently cupping your soft flesh,
My lust is unbound.

[/ QUOTE ]

You are sweeping me off my feet!

[IndieMatty]

[ QUOTE ]
ninety-five astro van
elementry school cul-de-sac
i know your parents

[/ QUOTE ]

easily post of the month.

[diebitter]

[ QUOTE ]

You are sweeping me off my feet!

[/ QUOTE ]
I hate to stop, but I gotta.

I'm getting addicted.

It's not you, it's me.

Remember me always.

[WackityWhiz]

Sexual Tension
Skyrocketing in my Pants
Girls, get Nekkid please

[Dex]

the dim light reflects
beads of sweat upon your skin
you exhale and squirm

a feather brushes
around your hardened nipples
i am such a tease

you want to come now
but not until I say so
the ropes hold you tight

the thrusting dildos
rhythmically penetrate you
deep into the night

buzzing vibrations
increase in intensity
you are on the edge

suddenly they stop
you moan out in frustration
panting like a dog

vibrator removed
my tongue and mouth replace it
your body quivers

arching and straining
you explode in orgasm
your heartbeat racing

my tongue exploring
dildos pound relentlessly
you explode again

you have longed for this
exactly how you like it
under my control

[Dex]

[ QUOTE ]
Beat this

[/ QUOTE ]

So, do I win?

[jakethebake]

To touch your dark hair.
Looking into your dark eyes.
Soul so beautiful.

[nervous]

sexual panther
allow my tranquil groping
i love animals

[bravos1]

Sweet little love thing
Finished popping her cherry
Now to the bighouse

[diebitter]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Beat this

[/ QUOTE ]

So, do I win?

[/ QUOTE ]
Not even close. Check boxtree's on the first page - second post - clear winner by far. Everyone else needs to fight for second place. I think I deserve it for wooing mslif though.

[jakethebake]

Longing to kiss uou.
Just skin and trust between us.
Holding you safe here.

/images/graemlins/heart.gif

[diebitter]

This is good [censored], Jake. You need to get published.

[mslif]

[quote Everyone else needs to fight for second place. I think I deserve it for wooing mslif though.

[/ QUOTE ]

I think you do too /images/graemlins/heart.gif

[jakethebake]

[ QUOTE ]
This is good [censored], Jake. You need to get published.

[/ QUOTE ]

Thanks. /images/graemlins/blush.gif

But you're the one wooing mslif.

[diebitter]

Yeah, mine's for an audience of one /images/graemlins/wink.gif

[mslif]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
This is good [censored], Jake. You need to get published.

[/ QUOTE ]

Thanks. /images/graemlins/blush.gif
But you're the one wooing mslif.

[/ QUOTE ]

I had Diebitter's haiku in my mind last night, that's for sure.

[diebitter]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
This is good [censored], Jake. You need to get published.

[/ QUOTE ]

Thanks. /images/graemlins/blush.gif
But you're the one wooing mslif.

[/ QUOTE ]

I had Diebitter's haiku in my mind last night, that's for sure.

[/ QUOTE ]
And yours haunts me.

I thought about it while I stood looking out, through the rain, into the dark night, and wondered what you were doing. And then took a walk in the cool, sweet rain, and drank the tiny drops that ran onto my lips.

[mslif]

[ QUOTE ]

And yours haunts me.

I thought about it while I stood looking out, through the rain, into the dark night, and wondered what you were doing. And then took a walk in the cool, sweet rain, and drank the tiny drops that ran onto my lips.

[/ QUOTE ]

I am imagining you saying that with your accent... /images/graemlins/heart.gif

[IndieMatty]

[ QUOTE ]
[quote Everyone else needs to fight for second place. I think I deserve it for wooing mslif though.

[/ QUOTE ]

I think you do too /images/graemlins/heart.gif

[/ QUOTE ]

You really like the /images/graemlins/heart.gif thing huh?

[mslif]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[quote Everyone else needs to fight for second place. I think I deserve it for wooing mslif though.

[/ QUOTE ]

I think you do too /images/graemlins/heart.gif

[/ QUOTE ]

You really like the /images/graemlins/heart.gif thing huh?

[/ QUOTE ]

I do, it's cute.

[PocketJokers72]

I love you so much
My orgasm achieved
Hey look! Footballs on!

[mslif]

[ QUOTE ]
I love you so much
My orgasm achieved
Hey look! Footballs on!

[/ QUOTE ]

ahahahah! This is great. /images/graemlins/grin.gif

[IndieMatty]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I love you so much
My orgasm achieved
Hey look! Footballs on!

[/ QUOTE ]

ahahahah! This is great. /images/graemlins/grin.gif

[/ QUOTE ]


Christ. I should have just bought you lunch.

[jakethebake]

Alone in your bed.
Mr. Pink inside you now.
You don't need Pedro.

/images/graemlins/grin.gif

[Shajen]

Open the box, inflate.
Intimate caress, I enter
Real doll love sate me!

[krimson]

i'm at work right now
but goddamn i'm horny yo
think i'll take a "break"

internet porn rules
where can I find some passwords?
i need to get off

I found a free site,
but there's no free videos
I need a 3rd hand

found some good stuff now
with some nice tits and anal
damn this feels so good

i'm about to cum
and my boss walks in on me
as i'm unloading

to HR I go
wtf was I thinking
i guess i'm "pro" now

[diebitter]

very nice.

OOT I think has found the thing it is most talented at. I think 2+2's next book should be OOT Sex Haiku. Jake could have his own section.

[PocketJokers72]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I love you so much
My orgasm achieved
Hey look! Footballs on!

[/ QUOTE ]

ahahahah! This is great. /images/graemlins/grin.gif

[/ QUOTE ]

next thing I know, you'll be flirting with me too!

I can only hope you don't find out I'm much dumberer than you.

[jakethebake]

[ QUOTE ]
very nice.

OOT I think has found the thing it is most talented at. I think 2+2's next book should be OOT Sex Haiku. Jake could have his own section.

[/ QUOTE ]

Oh goody. Someone inspire me!

[Shajen]

ok, Jake, the next one you do has to include:

robot sex and fire sauce

[jakethebake]

[ QUOTE ]
ok, Jake, the next one you do has to include:

robot sex and fire sauce

[/ QUOTE ]

Not my style, man.

[Shajen]

well [censored] you then.

<font color="white">I kid, I kid. </font>

[jakethebake]

She gets drunk so quick.
She knows I want her pooper.
Four drinks and it's mine.

[PocketJokers72]

A Haiku Ode to Tucker

She was a model
She doodied on my weiner
I puked in her ass

[LBJ]

Padding your post count
With unfunny dirty haikus
Please make them funny

[jakethebake]

Dress around your hips.
Pushing you against the wall.
Entering you rough.

[Kyo Souma II]

Wrapping it around,
my shaft pressed against my taint,
my head up my ass.

Sunday comes again
So does my sweet slender friend
Late service special

[jakethebake]

Your beautiful soul.
I can give it what it needs.
You won't take from me.

[diebitter]

[ QUOTE ]
Your beautiful soul.
I can give it what it needs.
You won't take from me.

[/ QUOTE ]

Paging Dr Freud! /images/graemlins/wink.gif

[jakethebake]

Your head on my chest.
Feeling your breath against me.
Wake you up to fvck.

[jakethebake]

Grabbing. Squeezing hard.
Taking you rough like you need.
Shoving it all in.

[diebitter]

How do you type without error, with just one hand?

[jakethebake]

It's a gift. /images/graemlins/grin.gif

[jakethebake]

Panting. Breath so hot.
Kissing you hard. Nice tongue.
Grinding against you.

[jakethebake]

Autonomous me.
I opened the door too wide.
Now I'm fvcked for sure.

[diebitter]

Jake churns out Haikus.
Hypothetical my ass
He's fooling no one

[jakethebake]

[ QUOTE ]
Jake churns out Haikus.
Hypothetical my ass
He's fooling no one

[/ QUOTE ]

/images/graemlins/confused.gif

[jakethebake]

Up way too early.
Good dreams interrupted. Sad.
So I'm at work now.

[jakethebake]

Coffee is so good.
Hoping I don't fall asleep.
Too tired to work now.

[jakethebake]

Pooperage I like.
Not that any hole won't do.
But that one I /images/graemlins/heart.gif

[sexdrugsmoney]

Lexington Brian:
"OOT are all douchebags"
She didn't listen

/images/graemlins/grin.gif

[ QUOTE ]
Pooperage I like.
Not that any hole won't do.
But that one I /images/graemlins/heart.gif

[/ QUOTE ]

this cracked me up

[jakethebake]

I will keep you safe.
Strong arms around you tonight.
You won't be lonely.

morning caresses
Matt pulls me close beneath him
happy grins all day

[jakethebake]

Pillow under you.
Thrusting I hit it just right.
Hard and fast. You cum.

[jakethebake]

[ QUOTE ]
morning caresses
Matt pulls me close beneath him
happy grins all day

[/ QUOTE ]

Nice! /images/graemlins/grin.gif

[diebitter]

[ QUOTE ]
morning caresses
Matt pulls me close beneath him
happy grins all day

[/ QUOTE ]
Ah Katy! you had to encourage Jake. He'll be pounding em out all day now.

And the haikus.

[bholdr]

oh baby, you're hot
slow down, sweetness you're too good
forget it, i'm done



good morning, strange girl
my name's john, i like to eat
my breakfast alone

apologies to PJN for that last one.

[jakethebake]

Watching you stroke it.
Legs spread wide. Looking at me.
Moaning. Getting close.

[jakethebake]

[ QUOTE ]
He'll be pounding em out all day now. And the haikus.

[/ QUOTE ]

Probably. I'm not really a poetry guy. But it's kinda fun. /images/graemlins/grin.gif

[diebitter]

[ QUOTE ]
I'm not really a poetry guy. But it's kinda fun. /images/graemlins/grin.gif

[/ QUOTE ]
Yeah, it is, and I quite like the combined display of talent and perviness this thread seems to encompass. Would you enjoy it so much if it were 'film haiku' or 'book critique haiku' or 'sport haiku' I wonder?

/images/graemlins/smirk.gif

[jakethebake]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I'm not really a poetry guy. But it's kinda fun. /images/graemlins/grin.gif

[/ QUOTE ]
Yeah, it is, and I quite like the combined display of talent and perviness this thread seems to encompass. Would you enjoy it so much if it were 'film haiku' or 'book critique haiku' or 'sport haiku' I wonder?

/images/graemlins/smirk.gif

[/ QUOTE ]

You really need to wonder that?

[jakethebake]

Face down. Ass up high.
Moaning as I pump you full.
Waiting for my seed.

[jakethebake]

On your back legs spread.
Pillow raising your ass high.
All exposed to me.

waiting for xerox
his hands slip under her shirt
nobody’s looking

[diebitter]

[ QUOTE ]
waiting for xerox
his hands slip under her shirt
nobody’s looking

[/ QUOTE ]

Katy. You brazen hussy!

I like you.

[mslif]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
waiting for xerox
his hands slip under her shirt
nobody’s looking

[/ QUOTE ]

Katy. You brazen hussy!

I like you.

[/ QUOTE ]

/images/graemlins/frown.gif cheating already

[diebitter]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
waiting for xerox
his hands slip under her shirt
nobody’s looking

[/ QUOTE ]

Katy. You brazen hussy!

I like you.

[/ QUOTE ]

/images/graemlins/frown.gif cheating already

[/ QUOTE ]

I was thinking of you all the time, I swear.

[mslif]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
waiting for xerox
his hands slip under her shirt
nobody’s looking

[/ QUOTE ]

Katy. You brazen hussy!

I like you.

[/ QUOTE ]

/images/graemlins/frown.gif cheating already

[/ QUOTE ]

I was thinking of you all the time, I swear.

[/ QUOTE ]

I hope so and btw, good morning /images/graemlins/heart.gif

[diebitter]

Morning, princess

[jakethebake]

Hurt she won't say why.
Pulling my armor back on.
Steel around my heart.

[diebitter]

Little death its name
Oblivion is its gift
vive le petit mort

For the french contingent. /images/graemlins/wink.gif

[krimson]

I bought her a drink,
and sprinkled in some rouphies.
rag doll sex is fun

[jakethebake]

[ QUOTE ]
I bought her a drink,
and sprinkled in some rouphies.
rag doll sex is fun

[/ QUOTE ]

This is not funny at all. /images/graemlins/mad.gif

[mslif]

[ QUOTE ]
Little death its name
Oblivion is its gift
vive la petite mort

For the french contingent. /images/graemlins/wink.gif

[/ QUOTE ]

FYP /images/graemlins/heart.gif

[diebitter]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Little death its name
Oblivion is its gift
vive la petite mort

For the french contingent. /images/graemlins/wink.gif

[/ QUOTE ]

FYP /images/graemlins/heart.gif

[/ QUOTE ]

I need to get my tongue around French properly, huh?

[krimson]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I bought her a drink,
and sprinkled in some rouphies.
rag doll sex is fun

[/ QUOTE ]

This is not funny at all. /images/graemlins/mad.gif

[/ QUOTE ]

Fine...

I bought her ten drinks
and stuck in her pooper
drunk girls are such sluts

[mslif]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Little death its name
Oblivion is its gift
vive la petite mort

For the french contingent. /images/graemlins/wink.gif

[/ QUOTE ]

FYP /images/graemlins/heart.gif

[/ QUOTE ]

I need to get my tongue around French properly, huh?

[/ QUOTE ]

I'll do my best to help you in that department.

[jakethebake]

Used to being sure.
Hard and sure. Now that's all gone.
Rug pulled from under.

[samjjones]

Fantasy fulfilled
Troupe of Girl Scouts with Thin Mints
Locked in my basement

As I enter Her
I bump something, what is it?
Ah, there are my keys...

[jakethebake]

[ QUOTE ]
As I enter Her
I bump something, what is it?
Ah, there are my keys...

[/ QUOTE ]

That made me laugh. /images/graemlins/grin.gif

[diebitter]

[ QUOTE ]
As I enter Her
I bump something, what is it?
Ah, there are my keys...

[/ QUOTE ]
LOL - you, sir, are a class act!

[jakethebake]

Everyone's [censored] list.
Why do I deserve this now?
I've no idea.

[touchfaith]

[ QUOTE ]
Everyone's [censored] list.
Why do I deserve this now?
I've no idea.

[/ QUOTE ]

oh shut the [censored] up already you piece of [censored]

[jakethebake]

[ QUOTE ]
*** You are ignoring this user ***

[/ QUOTE ]

[diebitter]

La petite morte calls
so come to me, princess, and
let's die a little.

[mslif]

[ QUOTE ]
La petite mort calls
so come to me, princess, and
let's die a little.

[/ QUOTE ]

FYP
I really like that one /images/graemlins/heart.gif

[JihadOnTheRiver]

My girlfriend told me
No OOT So I S
IIHP

-JOTR

[diebitter]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
La petite mort calls
so come to me, princess, and
let's die a little.

[/ QUOTE ]

FYP
I really like that one /images/graemlins/heart.gif

[/ QUOTE ]
Yeah, THAT is [censored] poetry. I [censored] win!

It's nothing without my muse though. /images/graemlins/wink.gif

Off to bed now. You sleep tight.

[Supersetoy]

Drunk, limp, she's sucking
Room spinning, she's complaining
I wake up alone

[antidan444]

You bastards had to suck me into this ...

Words I longed to hear,
"Now stick it in my pooper,"
Flowed from her soft lips

My sex life was great.
Then I went and tied the knot.
Dumbest move ever.

Worst curse ever: To
be good sex haiku writer
and bad in the sack

Infamous hot tub
picture left me infertile.
Cursed be their souls.

[diebitter]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
La petite mort calls
so come to me, princess, and
let's die a little.

[/ QUOTE ]

FYP
I really like that one /images/graemlins/heart.gif

[/ QUOTE ]

Did you print it out and put it on a wall somewhere? /images/graemlins/wink.gif

[jakethebake]

Taking you. Rough. Hard.
You want it that way. Need it.
Like a woman should.

[gmrankin]

Behold the pussy
Its vast emptiness so warm
Inside i go now

[jakethebake]

A beautiful day!
Good night's sleep. Wonderful dreams.
The world is all right.

[mslif]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
La petite mort calls
so come to me, princess, and
let's die a little.

[/ QUOTE ]

FYP
I really like that one /images/graemlins/heart.gif

[/ QUOTE ]

Did you print it out and put it on a wall somewhere? /images/graemlins/wink.gif

[/ QUOTE ]

yes, just above my bed.

[littlebu]

These are great. I just read through every page at work and came up with one

My balls are blue now
Why did you stop stroking it
Thanks alot you bitch

[diebitter]

[ QUOTE ]
These are great. I just read through every page at work and came up with one

My balls are blue now
Why did you stop stroking it
Thanks alot you bitch

[/ QUOTE ]

It must have taken you a good hour just to read Jake's.

[GoCubsGo]

Keep telling me no.
You're going to fall asleep
Eventually.

[jakethebake]

Between her spread legs.
Thrusting. Driving. As she screams,
"Pump me full of cock."

[diebitter]

I cage a heart that's
hungry for forbidden fruit.
How I crave the juice!


PS. Anyone claims this is gay, is gay.
PPS. I'm bumping this to see if I can squeeze a few more outta Jake

[jakethebake]

Into her body and soul.
Leaving part of me with her.
The sweetest moment.

[mslif]

Last one for me (obviously Jake cannot be beaten)

Longing for his touch
Alone, horny and ready
Oh God! I want him.

[jakethebake]

[ QUOTE ]
Last one for me (obviously Jake cannot be beaten)

[/ QUOTE ]

Jake has been inspired lately. /images/graemlins/heart.gif

[littlebu]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]


It must have taken you a good hour just to read Jake's.

[/ QUOTE ]

It took awhile but I figured I might as well get paid for something lol.

[diebitter]

Post deleted by diebitter

[jakethebake]

A hole in my heart.
Only time or she can fill.
Will time have to do?

[jakethebake]

Fate moved against us.
The opportunity passed.
Craving another.

[diebitter]

Her dark eyes look up,
She sucks and swallows my seed,
She's pumping me dry.

[jakethebake]

Fine...

Her lips wrap't 'round me.
Looking up into my eyes.
She swallows it down.

[jakethebake]

Fvcking her sweet face.
My fingers wrapped in her hair.
Lips so beautiful.

[diebitter]

try and get 'peachy' and '5 minutes' in the next one...

[jakethebake]

[ QUOTE ]
try and get 'peachy' and '5 minutes' in the next one...

[/ QUOTE ]

No interest. I'll leave peachy and her 5 minutes to you. /images/graemlins/grin.gif

[diebitter]

5 mins for Peachy!
The golf ball in the hose pipe
Didn't stand a chance.

[ChipWrecked]

Lick the Nazi head
Roll the balls, my sack is shaved
Oh God, close your eyes.

[ QUOTE ]
Lick the Nazi head
Roll the balls, my sack is shaved
Oh God, close your eyes.

[/ QUOTE ]

wow

[jakethebake]

Sucking me so hard.
Darth Vader's helmet so big.
Let go. I explode.

/images/graemlins/grin.gif

[ChipWrecked]

I part the rose lips
Ivory teeth, not so fast!
Oh yes, that's just right.

[ QUOTE ]
Sucking me so hard.
Darth Vader's helmet so big.
Let go. I explode.

/images/graemlins/grin.gif

[/ QUOTE ]

um this is very distracting while I'm at work. I might have to go home.

[ChipWrecked]

You, laying back prone
I straddle your face and work
Your fingers please you.

[diebitter]

my tongue deep in you
I tickle your soft, hot slit,
I taste you coming.

Okay, if there's any arguments about pronunciation, I suggest a standard all english-speaking nations can identify easily - pirate. OKAY?

[steelcmg]

[ QUOTE ]
my tongue deep in you
I tickle your soft, hot slit,
I taste you coming.

Okay, if there's any arguments about pronunciation, I suggest a standard all english-speaking nations can identify easily - pirate. OKAY?

[/ QUOTE ]

Thats very good i wish i could write ths stuff

[ChipWrecked]

[ QUOTE ]
my tongue deep in you
I tickle your soft, hot slit,
I taste you coming.

Okay, if there's any arguments about pronunciation, I suggest a standard all english-speaking nations can identify easily - pirate. OKAY?

[/ QUOTE ]

Giving not getting? I'm ashamed to admit the concept hadn't occurred to me.

My d*ck in her mouth
Way too much cum to handle
She's in the E.R.

[jakethebake]

Beginning anew.
Good and bad. The old is gone.
The morning so bright.

[KaneKungFu123]

[ QUOTE ]
My d*ck in her mouth
Way too much cum to handle
She's in the E.R.

[/ QUOTE ]

rofl

[gorie]

i've never done this before, let me try:

i'd feel so lucky
with my lips around your cock
please let me suck it

[Peter666]

Pussy pulsating
Wetness running down the thigh
I wither away

[Peter666]

Nobody looking
Let us indulge my lover
She answers "baa, baa"

[gorie]

when i was younger
i use to hump my care bear
don't tell anyone.

Hot, strong, forbidden
Teasing, he undresses her
sucking her, licking

[brassnuts]

haikus about sex,
on an internet forum,
to what ends, people?

slowly she rides me,
wait i said slowly damnit,
ugh, ugh, oooh, wooh, damn.

[diebitter]

In dreams I ride you
we come and come through the hours,
oh to never wake.

I'm taking 'pirate' as standard pronunciation here, so 'hours' is AAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRS - one syllable.

[Blarg]

The Red Shirt Lament

Kirk even bones green
I get one line and then die
Where's my space pussy?

[gmrankin]

its small, so so small
I'm hung like a three year old
I wish it was big

[diebitter]

I'm huge and pumping
So what do you mean when you
say, 'is it in yet?'

[diebitter]

You ass is so tight
but when I pull out, why is
there always sweetcorn?

[dcasper70]

Jakethebake is back.
he couldn't stay gone for long.
post more than haiku?

[diebitter]

Sixteen kids - must be
a hotdog in an alley
or worm down a well

[Clarkmeister]

[ QUOTE ]
the dim light reflects
beads of sweat upon your skin
you exhale and squirm

a feather brushes
around your hardened nipples
i am such a tease

you want to come now
but not until I say so
the ropes hold you tight

the thrusting dildos
rhythmically penetrate you
deep into the night

buzzing vibrations
increase in intensity
you are on the edge

suddenly they stop
you moan out in frustration
panting like a dog

vibrator removed
my tongue and mouth replace it
your body quivers

arching and straining
you explode in orgasm
your heartbeat racing

my tongue exploring
dildos pound relentlessly
you explode again

you have longed for this
exactly how you like it
under my control

[/ QUOTE ]

This one didn't get enough props.

[Clarkmeister]

well done

[Roybert]

[ QUOTE ]
Nasty oral sex
Is a hazy memory
Now that we're married.

[/ QUOTE ]

well struck

[diebitter]

My lips lock'd in place,
my tongue far inside, you come,
tasty, salty, strong.

[Dex]

a race against time
think you can control your lust?
let us play a game

the smell of pleasure
arousal and frustration
permeates the air

the clock is ticking
escape is impossible
tied up so tightly

breathing rapidly
three holes filled, two vibrating,
the third surrounds me

if you can hold out
until the timer runs out
you'll be rewarded

if you come too soon
then according to the rules
you will be punished

I tweak your nipples
adding fuel to the fire
that burns within you

juices flow freely
your muscles squeeze the dildos
buried inside you

a moan escapes you
as you feel yourself slipping
closer to the edge

if you lose the game
what will your "punishment" be?
will you choose to lose?

[WackityWhiz]

ugh I was almost there, then it ended

[diebitter]

wrap me up in you,
my hardness in your softness,
my breath sharing yours

Take it all Grandma


I'm sorry, after the first sentence, I.. I.. couldn't go on. I'm in a very dark place right now.

LLL

[Dex]

[ QUOTE ]
ugh I was almost there, then it ended

[/ QUOTE ]

/images/graemlins/grin.gif

Should I write a sequel?

[jakethebake]

Your head pushed down hard.
Arching your back, ass circling.
Moaning, you take me.

[diebitter]

tongue to your nipples
feeling them grow, I suck soft
then hard, and then soft

They grow to my tongue
and I lick them still harder
Our eyes lock, deeply

I move down and kiss
your navel and your tummy
gliding lower still

Tongue tip on your clit
teasing and tasting you well
How I get harder

I lick those lips hard,
and my tongue moves inside you,
tasting your rich juice

You are ready so
I slip inside, hot and sweet
like dipping in oil

We move slow at first
back and forth but we can't stop
the heat that grows there

Faster we are [censored]
closer to that point that we
wish to get to now

You come and tense,
I tense and come inside you
I spurt so deeply

We relax and so
enfold one another and
lie in the dark, spent

The night is so dark
but we have each other to
hold and [censored] and sleep.

[diebitter]

My tongue, from the bud
of your ass to lips to clit,
Loves the taste of you

[Shajen]

http://static.flickr.com/8/10192555_69c6a547cb_m.jpg

[pc in NM]

She moans "[censored] me hard!!"
I dream 'double play relay'
I am still Da' Man!

[jakethebake]

Legs spread wide for me.
Vulnerable. All exposed.
Showing me your need.

[jakethebake]

Me pounding one hole.
Pink plastic in the other.
Moaning as you cum.

[TheCroShow]

[ QUOTE ]
Padding your post count
With unfunny sex haikus
Your haikus are crap

[/ QUOTE ]

Circle jerk at 1
With lame O-O-T morans
Go suck a dick Jake

WHOA WHOA a little harsh at the end, my bad dawg, had to pick a name. Anyway, this thread wasn't as good as I thought it would be. Had a read through and half the "haikus" do not fit the 5-7-5 format. most are awful, maybe 2 or 3 are really good. keep trying though! =D

[Los Feliz Slim]

I used to have sex.
Then my wife had a baby.
Now my balls are blue.

[jakethebake]

[ QUOTE ]
I used to have sex.
Then my wife had a baby.
Now my balls are blue.

[/ QUOTE ]

Been there. I feel for you, man. /images/graemlins/frown.gif

[jakethebake]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Padding your post count
With unfunny sex haikus
Your haikus are crap

[/ QUOTE ]

Circle jerk at 1
With lame O-O-T morans
Go suck a dick Jake

WHOA WHOA a little harsh at the end, my bad dawg, had to pick a name. Anyway, this thread wasn't as good as I thought it would be. Had a read through and half the "haikus" do not fit the 5-7-5 format. most are awful, maybe 2 or 3 are really good. keep trying though! =D

[/ QUOTE ]

This is not the funny haiku thread. This is the sex haiku thread. Somewhere in the middle of this thread I posted some crap. But I'm maintaining that my last couple were good.

Ponytail yanked back.
Moaning. Crying in rapture.
Feel me swell inside.

[diebitter]

Aw c'mon, it's time this thread died.

Especially since my last one so pwns all the others. /images/graemlins/grin.gif

[jakethebake]

[ QUOTE ]
Aw c'mon, it's time this thread died.

Especially since my last one so pwns all the others. /images/graemlins/grin.gif

[/ QUOTE ]

Your last one...Meh. Feel free not to post anymore. I'll post as the mood strikes me. /images/graemlins/wink.gif

[diebitter]

okay!
Try to work 'dead', 'flogging' and 'horse' into the next one though, okay /images/graemlins/wink.gif

[jakethebake]

Lust. Rage. Pent inside.
An explosion to be shared.
With someone. Somewhere.

[diebitter]

You suck while I come
Take it all while you look up
eye to eye hunger.

[henrikrh]

Requiem for a Dream (the poem)

A Conolly film
Some guy shouts "ass to ass"
holy crap, that's hot.

Did I spell Jennifer Conolly right?

[ QUOTE ]
Requiem for a Dream (the poem)

A Conolly film
Some guy shouts "ass to ass"
holy crap, that's hot.

Did I spell Jennifer Conolly right?

[/ QUOTE ]

Connelly.

And your second line is only six syllables....how about "some pervert shouts 'ass to ass' "?

The pussy buffet
Open twenty-four seven
Endless pink tacos

ScottieK

[henrikrh]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Requiem for a Dream (the poem)

A Conolly film
Some guy shouts "ass to ass"
holy crap, that's hot.

Did I spell Jennifer Conolly right?

[/ QUOTE ]

Connelly.

And your second line is only six syllables....how about "some pervert shouts 'ass to ass' "?

The pussy buffet
Open twenty-four seven
Endless pink tacos

ScottieK

[/ QUOTE ]

Ahhh, sensei, I have brought shame unto my family. Six syllables is a failure, I shall perform seppuku.

[Gamblor]

Where's your other hand?
Wait one second babe. Aha!
a Dirty Sanchez.