So who's your Tool?

[Klepton]

i've mainly got 2 sets of friends up here in santa barbara, the people i live with (frat boyish, only one in a frat actually, drink and smoke, poker) and the guys down the street (nerdier, less drink and smoke, LOST fans)

with the nerdier group, one of their roomates is the perfect definition of a tool: 6'2", stupid goatee, bad hair, manager of compUSA, knowledge of stupid [censored], and thinks that everyone wants t here about the slutty girls that try to make out with him.

when we were watching the season 2 premier of LOST, during one of the commercials, this guy actually muted the TV to tell us how this girl kept asking him if he seriously had a 9 inch cock.

it was as that moment i started smiling cuz i knew i had found the tool in my life.

i say let this be the thread to describe how the tools in our life are the same or different.

discuss.

[diebitter]

I don't have any tools in my life, they go once toolage is noted.

Hold on, is this like the saying from Rounders? "If you're at the table for 30 minutes and haven't spotted the tool, then you're the tool!" - Great Odin's Raven!

[Klepton]

Uncle Henry's Corn Cob Pipe!

[mslif]

Lucas9000

[jakethebake]

passionfruit05

[ucfryan]

My roomate. We live in a 2 bedroom apartment, and he loooves to "party" (his same 5-10 people that he drinks bud light with) and tell me about how he hooks up with all of these girls (all of whom are very plan/some on the ugly side). He also likes to scream at the everyone top of his lungs while playing Halo 2 online because he thinks everyone is cheating. He got kicked out of UCF, and might get kicked out of community college because he stays up till 11AM in the morning, then sleeps all day. He definately takes the cake.

[mason55]

I know this guy who's in college and thinks he's pretty smart, but he can't even spell 'definitely'.

[diebitter]

[ QUOTE ]
I know this guy who's in college and thinks he's pretty smart, but he can't even spell 'definitely'.

[/ QUOTE ]
What a morin

[Brainwalter]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I know this guy who's in college and thinks he's pretty smart, but he can't even spell 'definitely'.

[/ QUOTE ]
What a morin

[/ QUOTE ]

It's moran, idoit.

[theben]

that dude sounds like a huge douche that trys to hard. kick his ass

[SCfuji]

"If you're at the table for 30 minutes and haven't spotted the tool, then you're the tool!" - Great Odin's Raven!
--------


that was awesome

[JihadOnTheRiver]

i am a pretty big tool. but i am like the fat chick that only has hot friends

[2planka]

TwoRooks (http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/showflat.php?Cat=&Board=home&Number=2212095&fpart= &PHPSESSID=) = tool.

[Tailgunner]

[ QUOTE ]
this guy actually muted the TV to tell us how this girl kept asking him if he seriously had a 9 inch cock.

it was as that moment i started smiling cuz i knew i had found the tool in my life.


[/ QUOTE ]

Fruitiest thing I've heard all day /images/graemlins/wink.gif

<font color="teal">~TG</font> /images/graemlins/cool.gif

[B Dids]

[ QUOTE ]
, this guy actually muted the TV to tell us how had a 9 inch cock.

it was as that moment i started smiling cuz i knew i had found the tool in my life.



[/ QUOTE ]

OH REALLY?

btw- yes. Actually I know about three people that would meet "tool for life" status.

[M2d]

[ QUOTE ]
when we were watching the season 2 premier of LOST, during one of the commercials, this guy actually muted the TV to tell us how this girl kept asking him if he seriously had a 9 inch cock.

it was as that moment i started smiling cuz i knew i had found the tool in my life.

[/ QUOTE ]
So if you find someone with a ten inch cock will you drop your current "tool for life"? what about if you find someone with 8 inches, but he knows how to use it? I think you're just a size queen.

[TheBlueMonster]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I know this guy who's in college and thinks he's pretty smart, but he can't even spell 'definitely'.

[/ QUOTE ]
What a morin

[/ QUOTE ]

It's moran, idoit.

[/ QUOTE ]
greatest series of responses.....ever /images/graemlins/grin.gif

[Johnnyj580]

This thread is too good to be true.

My tool is this kid that plays in our games occasionally. I used to work with him at the local wahoo casino. Both of us had too many points (points = bad, given for absences, tardiness etc) to be given a shot at taking the poker dealing course. He begged and got in anyway.

"Brian" as we'll call him, has hands-down the WORST breath EVER. You can smell it from the other side of the table (no joke) and it never improves.

He has a kid thats turning two soon. We used ot bust his balls at work b/c the mother just called him out of the blue after 8 months and told him she was preggers with his baby. Some people would get a blood test just in case. Not Brian. Sidenote on 'Mom': she lives in a trailer in Rochester with her mom, stepdad, brother, two dogs, two guinney pigs, a bird, and I believe a turtle. She came to our poker game one with sloppy thng hanging out everywhere, drinking (the daughter was with her) and asking for a hit when my roomate packed a bowl.

Back to Brian. He got the job as a poker dealer (making roughly $25-30/hr, which isnt bad for a college dropout) only to more or less [censored] things up for himself. He's delinquent on all his bills. Just got evicted last week. Oh, the mother has moved back home with the baby. He see's the baby (Father: TBA) a couple days a week. When I asked him how he couldnt pay his bills? He "gets drunk at the nudes 3 times a week". Nevermind the fact that he's going to AWFUL nudes here in Buffalo, where by law they DON'T show it all. Nevermind the fact that these women are average at best. Who the hell gets drunk at the nudes??? Its like $7/beer!?!?!

P.S. He sucks at poker too . . .you'd think he was decent having dealt all day but no


John

[tdarko]

[ QUOTE ]
i've mainly got 2 sets of friends up here in santa barbara, the people i live with (frat boyish, only one in a frat actually...and the guys down the street nerdier, less drink and smoke, LOST fans)



[/ QUOTE ]
sounds like an entire toolbox to me /images/graemlins/blush.gif

[bravos1]

[ QUOTE ]
We used ot bust his balls at work b/c the mother just called him out of the blue after 8 months and told him she was preggers with his baby.

[/ QUOTE ]

First time I read this I thought you said that HIS mother called to say she was preggers with HIS baby... that would had made this guy even better..LOL

[cdxx]

hmmmm... tool or not? (http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/showflat.php?Cat=&amp;Number=3508352&amp;page=0&amp;view=colla psed&amp;sb=5&amp;o=2&amp;fpart=1)

[wonderwes]

I have an odd split. I have some friends that follow sports, watch the majority of all Pro/college football and basketball games, discuss basic sports topics and several even play in my Fantasy football league (first is $400 this year).

Then I have my other friends that pretty much don't follow sports at all. It just doesn't suit them, and any sports related topic they have no knowledge on. I would say the majority of these people's profession is in the IT sector. Shocking!

[tworooks]

[ QUOTE ]
tworooks = tool.


[/ QUOTE ]

weenie

[SackUp]

Man my roommate is the biggest tool ever.

The guy is from LA and he actually thinks that means something.

We live in San Diego. He is a lawyer - 3 years out. Yet the guy still goes up to LA to be an extra in a WB shows and just prays to see himself on tv.

The best is when the Oscars were on last time. I asked him if he was going to watch them and his response was "yeah, I'm from LA, it's kind of a tradition." B/c watching the Oscars clearly has anything to do with fcking being from LA /images/graemlins/confused.gif

Further this fool watches no sports and still goes to the undergrad gym to work out so he can tell me about girls that are hot but has yet to talk to.

But the dude does keep to himself and we hardly ever see each other so it works for me. It is odd having a roomie that you do not associate with at all though. But I like my spot and it works out well while in law school so I have no distractions.

[Transference]

My tool is the boyfriend of a female friend of mine. It's quite possible that he cannot be topped.

Exhibit A
Repetitive claims of dubious relationships with celebrities, once claimed to have 50cent on the phone.

Exhibit B
My friend who dates him was a virgin and evidently got an STD from him, he once tried to claim she gave it to him when he was drunk.

Exhibit C
He is 30 and lives with his parents, he claims he owns the house. He also drives some little mazda sports car deal that would almost certainly pay my bills for more than a year.

Exhibit D
Again, he is 30 and plays on the college rugby team.

Exhibit E
Pretends to be a lawyer and as has claimed to have been accepted to Stanford law school, despite not having any college degree.

F
Talks about his so called recording studio and constantly wears these t-shirts with ‘SoundKrew’ on them from some cheap printing company. Claims this is or was his prosperous recording company.

G
Talks with strangers repetitively about his plans to ‘buy land.’

H
Walks around with a cellphone headset for no apparent practical purpose.

Thats enough, im irritated just talking about this tool.

[Riskwise]

[ QUOTE ]
TwoRooks (http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/showflat.php?Cat=&amp;Board=home&amp;Number=2212095&amp;fpart= &amp;PHPSESSID=) = tool.

[/ QUOTE ]

[kurosh]

http://buy.overstock.com/images/products/3/L936256.jpg

[Eurotrash]

[ QUOTE ]
My tool is the boyfriend of a female friend of mine. It's quite possible that he cannot be topped.

Exhibit A
Repetitive claims of dubious relationships with celebrities, once claimed to have 50cent on the phone.

Exhibit B
My friend who dates him was a virgin and evidently got an STD from him, he once tried to claim she gave it to him when he was drunk.

Exhibit C
He is 30 and lives with his parents, he claims he owns the house. He also drives some little mazda sports car deal that would almost certainly pay my bills for more than a year.

Exhibit D
Again, he is 30 and plays on the college rugby team.

Exhibit E
Pretends to be a lawyer and as has claimed to have been accepted to Stanford law school, despite not having any college degree.

F
Talks about his so called recording studio and constantly wears these t-shirts with ‘SoundKrew’ on them from some cheap printing company. Claims this is or was his prosperous recording company.

G
Talks with strangers repetitively about his plans to ‘buy land.’

H
Walks around with a cellphone headset for no apparent practical purpose.

Thats enough, im irritated just talking about this tool.

[/ QUOTE ]




this guy sounds like a douchebag of the highest calibre.