Do I need to quit boozin?

I am posting this because, no one knows me and I find the opinions of the posters here to be generally thoughtful and informed.

My problem: I am 30 and I basically spend my weekends either playing P***r in AC all weekend or I stay home and drink and play video games or watch movies. I am married and my wife just visits her mom or friends and leaves me alone.
The thing is I am drinking progressively more. This weekend I had 18 beers on Sat and 15 beers on Sunday. (Funny thing is I NEVER drink while playing at the tables.) Is this too much? It sounds pathetic and depressing just writing this.
Thanks in advance.

[FouTight]

do you feel this is lowering your quality of life? destroying your social interatcions and disrupting your relationships?

[savman]

do you drink during the week?

[Warik]

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I find the opinions of the posters here to be generally thoughtful and informed.

[/ QUOTE ]

Abandon all hope.

[Los Feliz Slim]

That sounds like a lot for your situation. Why do you think you drink so much?

On a related note, your wife will get sick of this routine in pretty short order.

You know who OOT needs right about now? Bison, that's who. OOT needs advice in a bad way, it sounds like.

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do you feel this is lowering your quality of life? destroying your social interatcions and disrupting your relationships?

[/ QUOTE ]

I basically have no friends. I am kind of an agoraphobe and do not generally feel comfortable around people

[pokerdirty]

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The thing is I am drinking progressively more. This weekend I had 18 beers on Sat and 15 beers on Sunday.

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This sounds like progressively less/images/graemlins/cool.gif.

Why do you drink this much? Losing at p*k*r? Problems with the wife? Trouble at work? Like the taste of crappy domestic beer?

[pokerdirty]

[ QUOTE ]
That sounds like a lot for your situation. Why do you think you drink so much?

On a related note, your wife will get sick of this routine in pretty short order.

You know who OOT needs right about now? Bison, that's who. OOT needs advice in a bad way, it sounds like.

[/ QUOTE ]

Did he have a Dear Bison for September 05?

[diebitter]

You need to drink less and get out of the front door. Walk around the streets, go to the park, hell, get to the gym. You are in a definite rut, and are deep-down unhappy.

Hell, take your wife out for a meal or movie, even.

[Los Feliz Slim]

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[ QUOTE ]
That sounds like a lot for your situation. Why do you think you drink so much?

On a related note, your wife will get sick of this routine in pretty short order.

You know who OOT needs right about now? Bison, that's who. OOT needs advice in a bad way, it sounds like.

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Did he have a Dear Bison for September 05?

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I don't know, but if he did he needs to do it again, if only for Jake and this guy.

[xadrez]

mix in some cocaine for variety

[Jersey Nick]

[ QUOTE ]
That sounds like a lot for your situation. Why do you think you drink so much?

On a related note, your wife will get sick of this routine in pretty short order.

You know who OOT needs right about now? Bison, that's who. OOT needs advice in a bad way, it sounds like.

[/ QUOTE ]

"Chief O'Hara! Dash to the roof! Flash the Bison Signal!"

http://i2.photobucket.com/albums/y39/jerseynick/bisonsignal.jpg

My marriage is not the greatest. We fight, but she loves me.I love her. We were separated for almost a year, a couple of years ago.

I do drink everyday. After work on weekdays, but not as much. I only drink beer.

[lu_hawk]

in all seriousness, anyone who questions whether they need to stop drinking should stop drinking. you don't question it unless you already realize it is hurting parts of your life. beer is not very important in the grand scheme of things.

[jakethebake]

I was just talking to someone about this recently. Althouhg nowhere near your levels, I'm definitely about to seriously cut back on my drinking. It's been a contributor to my being way too morose lately.

[diebitter]

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My marriage is not the greatest. We fight, but she loves me.I love her. We were separated for almost a year, a couple of years ago.

I do drink everyday. After work on weekdays, but not as much. I only drink beer.

[/ QUOTE ]
Cut down, and by quite a bit to start with. The drinking ain't the core problem, is it, I'm guessing. But drinking this much is not good for you at all in so many ways.


You appear to be deep-down unhappy, otherwise you wouldn't be asking for advice. You need to really, really think about what's troubling you. Something is, your marriage most likely from what you say, but there may be other things - something not finished or not even started maybe, but there's something. Think about what it is. Think about how you can tackle it.

If it's your wife and you not getting along in a way you'd like- don't tackle it head on. Don't just come out with it. Ask your wife to go out with you, do stuff together. You're gonna have to fight the agoraphobia and get out the house - you may need professional help with that specific thing, though.

Try and remember what you used to have fun doing together, maybe revisit that. If it's that you think your marriage needs to be over, go talk to professionals about it. DO NOT listen to anyone on this board who says to finish it - you need to decide that for yourself.

If it's not your marriage that's the core problem, then I'd still do the above - strengthening your marriage will be of great comfort against all sorts of things.

Above all, think about what's deep down troubling you.

You take care now.

When a person asks others and questions himself about his drinking, he/she usually has a problem. I'd like to suggest you go to an AA meeting. You don't have to say a word. Just listen.

[jakethebake]

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I'd like to suggest you go to an AA meeting. You don't have to say a word. Just listen.

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Give it a shot on your own first. Try to figure out WHY you're drinking so much. You should probably treat the underlying problem as well as the symptom. The last time i went to an AA meeting (court mandated in my youth) it was so depressing I wanted to immediately go get shitfaced.

[Blarg]

Too much, but of course you know that.

You shouldn't drink that much, or drink every day. Sooner or later you're going to have liver problems if you do, and dying of liver disease is supposedly a very awful way to die.

Some people can quit cold turkey, and that's usually the best way, but it doesn't work for a lot of people because you have to really want to quit, and most people don't really deep down want to quit something they enjoy even if it is destroying them. So if you're the taper-down type, how about just giving yourself a simple rule, like, never drink two days in a row? That will give your liver at least some shred of a chance to not be completely polluted. And how about something like, I'll drink a full glass of water for every other beer? You can still get plenty drunk, but you'll piss out more alcohol and have much less of a chance of going to sleep still super-packed with toxins. Which would be better for health and let you wake up feeling not quite as tired or crappy or whatever.

So you should try something either drastic or incremental, as long as it's something.

It can be an unhappy world, but it won't get any happier if you get liver or kidney disease, or cancer, that's for sure. And you are drinking enough to develop brain problems if you keep it up. The last thing you want to do is wind up remembering when you were smarter, and wishing you could think at a level that has become unavailable to you.

[ChipWrecked]

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I'm definitely about to seriously cut back on my drinking.

[/ QUOTE ]

This is sort of definitely the post of the day. Pretty much.

[jakethebake]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I'm definitely about to seriously cut back on my drinking.

[/ QUOTE ]

This is sort of definitely the post of the day. Pretty much.

[/ QUOTE ]

Why? /images/graemlins/confused.gif

[Stellastarr]

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That sounds like a lot for your situation. Why do you think you drink so much?

On a related note, your wife will get sick of this routine in pretty short order.

You know who OOT needs right about now? Bison, that's who. OOT needs advice in a bad way, it sounds like.

[/ QUOTE ]

"Chief O'Hara! Dash to the roof! Flash the Bison Signal!"

http://i2.photobucket.com/albums/y39/jerseynick/bisonsignal.jpg

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ROFL

[lapoker17]

awesome

[dtbog]

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I am married and my wife just visits her mom or friends and leaves me alone.

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how often do you two have sex?

my advice: more sex, less beer.

[imported_anacardo]

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And you are drinking enough to develop brain problems if you keep it up. The last thing you want to do is wind up remembering when you were smarter, and wishing you could think at a level that has become unavailable to you.

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Story of my dad. My ballpark estimate is that his IQ's dropped thirty points since I was a kid. Sad deal. Don't let it happen to you.

[Stuey]

I quit about 4 years ago.

I don't know if you should quit but I do know you can find out real easy. Just quit for a while and see if you find it difficult. Quit for a good 6 months just so you have time to see what if any difference it makes.

You are going to be very surprised if you do indeed have an alcohol problem, as life will be so much easier after you quit for a month or 2. Plus you will look and feel much better.

The fact that you need a reason or the encouragement of others to convince you to try quitting is a bad sign. Why is the thought of quitting so daunting that you need an important reason to do it? Just try it and see for yourself what results you get. Or are you more attached to the drinking than you are admitting here?

I drank less often than you do but I drank about the same amount you do when I did drink. I had lots of little problems in my life. Work, personal, and minor health problems.

The people I worked with, my family and even my doctor knew how often and how much I drank. I asked them all if they thought my problems could be due to the drinking and they all said they did not think so. They said life is just hard for everyone and I was going through a rough patch and things would improve.

But for some reason I felt the drinking had to go so I quit. The change was immediate and impossible to ignore. In less than 3 months all my problems were gone. I still have problems but they are tiny and I can deal with them easily.

I read somewhere that depression cannot be properly diagnosed if the patient is a heavy drinker. I think they implied that all heavy drinkers are depressed to some degree.

Anyways sorry for the long preachy post here. I don't really know what is good for other people but I wanted to share my experience as it was startling how much quitting drinking helped me.

The most amazing part is even though my co-workers, family and my doctor have noticed and remarked at how great I look and how much happier I seem now they often offer me a drink. /images/graemlins/confused.gif

[theben]

18 beers? you can do better than that. me and my friends like to keep the bar high, 20+ drinks

thanks for the earnest replies. I will try to quit. I've tried quitting before, when I blacked out. Blacking out scared me a lot, I figured it was b/c I drank hard liquor also ( vodka, bourbon). I have not blacked out since I stuck to only beer, but I'm tired of coming to work hung over and feeling like crap in the morning. Also over 20 bucks a day on beer can get expensive after a while.
I guess I will say goodbye to old Sam Adams for a while.

"how often do you two have sex?

my advice: more sex, less beer. "

About 3x week. Married 8 years. Ironically the sex is better when I've had a few beers, b/c I last longer.

[Jersey Nick]

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how often do you two have sex?

my advice: more sex, less beer.

[/ QUOTE ]

About 3x week. Married 8 years. Ironically the sex is better when I've had a few beers, b/c I last longer.

[/ QUOTE ]
Classic rationalization. Keep going on this track and your staying power will turn to whiskeydick and then divorce court.

Had you mentioned the blackouts earlier I would have skipped the Bison Signal. You don't need BB to tell you that it's time to get on the wagon. You know it is. For a month. At least. Take some of the $20/day you save a and buy your wife some flowers.

[Stuey]

[ QUOTE ]
"how often do you two have sex?

my advice: more sex, less beer. "

About 3x week. Married 8 years. Ironically the sex is better when I've had a few beers, b/c I last longer.

[/ QUOTE ]

That is the lazy mans way to last longer. Try kegel exercises, last as long as you or she wants!

Why should men do kegel exercises regularly?


Kegel exercises increase the bloodflow to the genital area, and so support sexual arousal mechanisms.

Kegel exercises strengthen and tone the muscles that are involved in ejaculation, and so men who Kegel can, if they do some additional work with themselves, gain greater control over the timing of their ejaculations.

Kegel exercises prevent incontinence and other problems that are often associated with aging.

[Los Feliz Slim]

I'm doing them right now.

[dtbog]

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I'm doing them right now.

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[Mason Hellmuth]

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I'm doing them right now.

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beer is not very important in the grand scheme of things.

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This is patently false.

[Blarg]

Good posts, Stuey.

[jokerthief]

Yes, quit drinking. This is a spiral few get out of. Next step is that beer won't get you drunk anymore. Then you will shock yourself at how much liquor it will take you to get a buzz. Then your fingers will go numb the day after you drink and you then know that you are causing nerve damage.

If you're not social it should be easier to quit. Use this to your advatage. Alcohol is a hell of a drug.

[tonypaladino]

[ QUOTE ]
When a person asks others and questions himself about his drinking, he/she usually has a problem. I'd like to suggest you go to an AA meeting. You don't have to say a word. Just listen.

[/ QUOTE ]

If you do decide to go the support group route, I'd suggest seeing if your area has alternatives to AA. The AA program is complete, no-exception abstainance, and treats alcoholism like an uncurable disease. There are other progams that rexgonize that excessive drinking is a behavioral problem, and can be modified in most cases to still allow the person to enjoy alcohol on a recreational basis.

[zephed]

[ QUOTE ]
I am posting this because, no one knows me and I find the opinions of the posters here to be generally thoughtful and informed.

My problem: I am 30 and I basically spend my weekends either playing P***r in AC all weekend or I stay home and drink and play video games or watch movies. I am married and my wife just visits her mom or friends and leaves me alone.
The thing is I am drinking progressively more. This weekend I had 18 beers on Sat and 15 beers on Sunday. (Funny thing is I NEVER drink while playing at the tables.) Is this too much? It sounds pathetic and depressing just writing this.
Thanks in advance.

[/ QUOTE ]
Ask your wife what she thinks.