Roommate comes in with a girl, I'm taking a dump, rate my play

[PoBoy321]

So my roommate has started hooking up with this girl and it looks like they're going to start dating or whatever, but that's not really important. A little while ago, I was in our bathroom taking a dump when I hear him and this girl come into our apartment. It was clear that they were sitting in the living room watching TV, which isn't that far from our bathroom. Our bathroom has very poor ventilation and when someone takes a [censored], everyone knows it.

No matter how much air freshener I spray, it's going to smell like [censored], just with a hint of pine or whatever.

If I leave the bathroom door closed, not much [censored] smell will get out, but as soon as you walk into the bathroom, you'll feel like you're neck deep in turd.

If I leave the door open, the whole apartment will wreak of [censored], but it will dissipate (sp?) after a few minutes.

I decided to douse the whole bathroom with air freshener, then just leave the door open a little bit so that the smell would dissipate, but slowly, and with not such a strong smell.

Your thoughts?

[Aytumious]

Hilarious.

[STLantny]

[ QUOTE ]
So my roommate has started hooking up with this girl and it looks like they're going to start dating or whatever, but that's not really important. A little while ago, I was in our bathroom taking a dump when I hear him and this girl come into our apartment. It was clear that they were sitting in the living room watching TV, which isn't that far from our bathroom. Our bathroom has very poor ventilation and when someone takes a [censored], everyone knows it.

No matter how much air freshener I spray, it's going to smell like [censored], just with a hint of pine or whatever.

If I leave the bathroom door closed, not much [censored] smell will get out, but as soon as you walk into the bathroom, you'll feel like you're neck deep in turd.

If I leave the door open, the whole apartment will wreak of [censored], but it will dissipate (sp?) after a few minutes.

I decided to douse the whole bathroom with air freshener, then just leave the door open a little bit so that the smell would dissipate, but slowly, and with not such a strong smell.

Your thoughts?

[/ QUOTE ]

Should have run the shower, and lit a match.

[jakethebake]

Forget the bathroom. Go with the Cleveland Steamer.

[Eurotrash]

wow, tricky spot to be in. I like the shower suggestion.

[PoBoy321]

[ QUOTE ]


Should have run the shower, and lit a match.

[/ QUOTE ]

The match seems like a good suggestion. I keep meaning to leave a box of matches in there but always forget. I didn't know that running the shower would work, I'll have to give it a try next time.

[TheCroShow]

[ QUOTE ]
Forget the bathroom. Go with the Cleveland Steamer.

[/ QUOTE ]

excellent choice

[HopeydaFish]

Why does every second thread in OOT have to do with bodily functions?

[STLantny]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]


Should have run the shower, and lit a match.

[/ QUOTE ]

The match seems like a good suggestion. I keep meaning to leave a box of matches in there but always forget. I didn't know that running the shower would work, I'll have to give it a try next time.

[/ QUOTE ]

I dont know if it does for sure, but every time I dump before a shower, it doesnt smell by teh time im done.

[PoBoy321]

[ QUOTE ]

Why does every second thread in OOT have to do with bodily functions?

[/ QUOTE ]

Because they're funny.

[STLantny]

[ QUOTE ]
Why does every second thread in OOT have to do with bodily functions?

[/ QUOTE ]

I think it has to do with the high percentage of males that frequent the forum.

[renodoc]

oust

[PoBoy321]

That's what I was using. Pine scented Oust. I really don't find that it works well.

[theben]

if you want to be nice: hold it in, let it brew for a few mins, and poo elsewhere

if you wanna be a jerk/funny, drop a nuclear bomb and leave the door wide open. make as many sounds as possible

[jakethebake]

[ QUOTE ]
Why does every second thread in OOT have to do with bodily functions?

[/ QUOTE ]

Well at least one of us is probably doing one of them at any given time so it's perfectly reasonable when you think about it.

[theben]

darn tootin right

[B Dids]

Your location makes this post more amusing.

Are you concerned about messing things up for your boy 'cause she'll be grossed out, or just concerned about people knowing you poop?

I say just [censored] it and take a shower if you're trying to help your friend out. That will give the smell time to go away, and explain why they can't use the bathroom during that time.

[PoBoy321]

Well, I don't wanna waste my boy's flavor, y'know. More importantly, however, I just think it'd be gross for her to walk into our apartment and have her first impression be "Wow, this place smells like [censored]."

Also, about the shower, I'm not necessarily sure that it'd work. When I say poor ventilation, I mean that the bathroom doesn't have any windows. Whoever designed this place was an idiot, but that's neither here nor there.

[PoBoy321]

[ QUOTE ]

if you want to be nice: hold it in, let it brew for a few mins, and poo elsewhere

if you wanna be a jerk/funny, drop a nuclear bomb and leave the door wide open. make as many sounds as possible

[/ QUOTE ]

That's what I'd normally do. My apartment is right next to our library so I can always just go over there, drop a deuce and come back. The problem is that I didn't know she was coming over and I was already doing the deed when they walked in.

[Isura]

You should have flushed as soon as they came home, and then run the shower (to drown out the sound when you flush again later). I'm surprised you missed that fairly obvious line.

[WackityWhiz]

Courtesy flushes are your friend

[SCfuji]

eat healthier

[slickpoppa]

You should have invited her into the bathroom to give you a blumpkin.

[tonypaladino]

[ QUOTE ]
You should have invited her into the bathroom to give you a blumpkin.

[/ QUOTE ]

I can't beleive it took 22 posts for the most obvious answer.

[Cubswin]

No need to do anything. Leave the door wide open then sneak off to your bedroom. If the chick gets all grossed out, is she really the type of girl you want your friend to be with? Everybody poops and if she cant handle that i think its time for your friend to move on....

cubs

[InchoateHand]

Some good suggestions here, but ditch the shower one.

If there is no ventilation, then you are creating an aerosolized eau du rankshit if you turn on the shower.

[theben]

ugg, getting caught in the middle of dropping one. i see the problem. you could have sucked whatever was coming out back in and stopped pooping, reducing the spread of the smelly gasses. after, you could go nuts with the air freshener and then finish up elsewhere

[Ogre]

you should have pooped then flushed as quickly as possible after the first and biggest turd

[asofel]

[ QUOTE ]
Well, I don't wanna waste my boy's flavor, y'know. More importantly, however, I just think it'd be gross for her to walk into our apartment and have her first impression be "Wow, this place smells like [censored]."

Also, about the shower, I'm not necessarily sure that it'd work. When I say poor ventilation, I mean that the bathroom doesn't have any windows. Whoever designed this place was an idiot, but that's neither here nor there.

[/ QUOTE ]

hey man i forget if i've asked you, but where're you stuck again, apartment wise that is?

I would have come out yelling:

"Don't nobody go in the bathroom for about thirty-five, forty-five minutes. Somebody open up a window."

[Stuey]

[ QUOTE ]
I would have come out yelling:

"Don't nobody go in the bathroom for about thirty-five, forty-five minutes. Somebody open up a window."

[/ QUOTE ]

I like this but I say:

"I wouldn't go in there if I was you. There is a really big skunk in there."

from Strange Brew

[tdarko]

[ QUOTE ]
eat healthier



[/ QUOTE ]
this is a ridiculous comment.

[SUfan5]

Courtesy flush a few times. Should help out.

Courtesy flush (http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=courtesy+flush)

[Eurotrash]

Poboy, what was the aftermath of this?

[Stuey]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
eat healthier



[/ QUOTE ]
this is a ridiculous comment.

[/ QUOTE ]

Go vegan for a month and then tell us which comment is ridiculous.

[Blarg]

Match is the standard suggestion and the best one. The shower suggestion sounds like a decent idea too. Besides, it's always satisfying to wash after taking a dump.

[tdarko]

every weekend my gf and i go over to her parents house and watch college football with them and they cook etc, fun times. anyway, their bathroom is basically connected between the kitchen and the living room (where the football watching is and the people hanging out in the kitchen are). if you take a [censored] like everyone is this thread describes then the whole house cleares.

its very simple. each time you take the actual [censored] just give a courtesy flush. then when you are done don't just sit in there, light a match or give a couple sprays or whatever and leave. the match is the best though.

[Blarg]

Blame it on him. The girl will be so grossed out by the stink that she'll already at least unconsciously associate it with him and blame him for it anyway, so you essentially have a freebie here. Sneak out without flushing or washing your hands. Say you just came home too, and let the "he who smelt it dealt it" rule apply.

[Blarg]

[ QUOTE ]
ugg, getting caught in the middle of dropping one. i see the problem. you could have sucked whatever was coming out back in and stopped pooping, reducing the spread of the smelly gasses. after, you could go nuts with the air freshener and then finish up elsewhere

[/ QUOTE ]

This is why all gentlemen bring tongs to the bathroom.

[Vish]

Everytime I think OOT has discussed every conceivable topic to death, you guys throw me a curveball.

[speirs]

[ QUOTE ]
and lit a match.

[/ QUOTE ]
Not after you sprayed the whole bathroom with freshener...

[Dominic]

your play:

walk out of the bathroom, leaving the door wide open, making stinky face and waving your hand under your nose. Then say, "Dude, if I have to remind you to flush one more time, I'm gonna start hiding your porno stash. Oh. Hi, Cindy."

Then walk out.

[TheMainEvent]

[ QUOTE ]
wow, tricky spot to be in. I like the shower suggestion.

[/ QUOTE ]

Does the shower really get rid of the smell? I would think the opposite considering how bad it usually smells when you fart in the shower.

[InchoateHand]

Yeah, shower idea (and I quote myself here) sucks. Unless you have a ceiling ventilation fan for the hot steam to carry it out. He doesn't.

[PoBoy321]

I'm in Village A

Hey its your place to. Just walk out, remind them that they dont want to go in there, and go about your business.

[Jules22]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
So my roommate has started hooking up with this girl and it looks like they're going to start dating or whatever, but that's not really important. A little while ago, I was in our bathroom taking a dump when I hear him and this girl come into our apartment. It was clear that they were sitting in the living room watching TV, which isn't that far from our bathroom. Our bathroom has very poor ventilation and when someone takes a [censored], everyone knows it.

No matter how much air freshener I spray, it's going to smell like [censored], just with a hint of pine or whatever.

If I leave the bathroom door closed, not much [censored] smell will get out, but as soon as you walk into the bathroom, you'll feel like you're neck deep in turd.

If I leave the door open, the whole apartment will wreak of [censored], but it will dissipate (sp?) after a few minutes.

I decided to douse the whole bathroom with air freshener, then just leave the door open a little bit so that the smell would dissipate, but slowly, and with not such a strong smell.

Your thoughts?

[/ QUOTE ]

Should have run the shower, and lit a match.

[/ QUOTE ]

This is the true expert response.

[Bulldog]

[ QUOTE ]
I would have come out yelling:

"Don't nobody go in the bathroom for about thirty-five, forty-five minutes. Somebody open up a window."

[/ QUOTE ]

correct

[ QUOTE ]
I just think it'd be gross for her to walk into our apartment and have her first impression be "Wow, this place smells like [censored]."



[/ QUOTE ]

LOL

[dtbog]

[ QUOTE ]
Why does every second thread in OOT have to do with bodily functions?

[/ QUOTE ]

*looks at your avatar*

err, I don't know.

[KidPokerX]

hmmm good question.
I'd be left in a tricky spot also, probably having done the same thing as you and just have the door open slightly.
I guess the other loigcal thing you could do would be to step up and apologize to your roommate and his girl for the reakage. You could say something funny like "Hi! Oh, sorry about that, I had to drop the cosby's off at the pool and they put up a little fight." Something like that.
I dunno, but things like that can either go very well or blow up in your face - like if things suddenly became awkward between you and the girl.
Lol, alright man. later

[Shajen]

crop duster

Or, the shower thing.

[asofel]

[ QUOTE ]
I'm in Village A

[/ QUOTE ]

ahhh, hahahahha. I can picture exactly what you're talking about with your dilemma. I think the spray with some small-medium ventilation is definitely the correct play.

[Derek in NYC]

This is your house, and you pay 50% of the price of the bathroom. If she wants to hang out at your house, she better not complain about the stench of your craps. I vote for coming out, with unwashed hands, and leaving the door wide open.

[pokerdirty]

[ QUOTE ]
This is your house, and you pay 50% of the price of the bathroom. If she wants to hang out at your house, she better not complain about the stench of your craps. I vote for coming out, with unwashed hands, and leaving the door wide open.

[/ QUOTE ]

turnabout is fair play...

[2planka]

nh. Just leave the door open the next time you're laying cable. Problem solved.

[Patrick del Poker Grande]

Did you paint the walls?

[SCfuji]

i forget who posted the thread, but he explained how drinking pineapple juice had produced "magical gas" that smelled "wonderful". i dont think it is ridiculous at all. if i dont eat a balanced diet my poo smells terrible to the point where even i cant stand it, but normally i dont care. and to be honest, i think bad smelly gas and poo is a sign that your body naturally sends to warn you that you may be doing something wrong.

[pokerdirty]

[ QUOTE ]
i forget who posted the thread, but he explained how drinking pineapple juice had produced "magical gas" that smelled "wonderful". i dont think it is ridiculous at all. if i dont eat a balanced diet my poo smells terrible to the point where even i cant stand it, but normally i dont care. and to be honest, i think bad smelly gas and poo is a sign that your body naturally sends to warn you that you may be doing something wrong.

[/ QUOTE ]

So that's what i've been doing wrong.

[KingCon]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
eat healthier



[/ QUOTE ]
this is a ridiculous comment.

[/ QUOTE ]

Go vegan for a month and then tell us which comment is ridiculous.

[/ QUOTE ]

I rather have my crap smell like crap then to eat veggies for a month

[HopeydaFish]

My dumps have no more aroma than a warm biscuit.

[pokerdirty]

[ QUOTE ]
i forget who posted the thread, but he explained how drinking pineapple juice had produced "magical gas" that smelled "wonderful". i dont think it is ridiculous at all. if i dont eat a balanced diet my poo smells terrible to the point where even i cant stand it, but normally i dont care. and to be honest, i think bad smelly gas and poo is a sign that your body naturally sends to warn you that you may be doing something wrong.

[/ QUOTE ]

But something as good as Taco Bell can't be wrong.

[TheBlueMonster]

[ QUOTE ]
I decided to douse the whole bathroom with air freshener, then just leave the door open a little bit so that the smell would dissipate, but slowly, and with not such a strong smell

[/ QUOTE ]
All you really can do. Do you not have a bathroom window you can open?

[ThaSaltCracka]

so there isn't a fan in the bathroom? If there is, turn it on, close the door behind you, and tell them it stinks. If it doesn't have one, just close the door behind you, and tell them it stinks. It smells like [censored], so what, who hasn't smelled [censored] before?

[chesspain]

nh

[Blarg]

It doesn't sound like it would work, but I've many times found that leaving the door open just a tiny crack lets the smell get out so slowly you don't even notice it. Then eventually it's all gone.

Nothing beats a match, though.

[tdarko]

[ QUOTE ]
Go vegan for a month and then tell us which comment is ridiculous.

[/ QUOTE ]
this is wrong. an unhealthy lifestyle can produce just as bad a smell.

[tdarko]

if you are seriously having problems and none of the above mentioned works and you are going to be having company over i suggest passing out vapo-rub. hand this out and have your guests dab a little on their upper lip, they will not be smelling your [censored] anymore /images/graemlins/smirk.gif.

[Piz0wn0reD!!!!!!]

fart directly on her face.

After thinking about it, I think the best answer is to not worry about it. If your roommate had half a brain, he would have realized where you are and what you are doing and should have found an excuse for him and his girl to leave before you even came out. Let him deal with the consequences.

[TripleH68]

This would be so much better if they knocked on the bathroom door and asked you to hurry up 'cuz she had to pee really bad. And then you left her a floater.

Have a nice hump day.

[Blarg]

What he should have done was, as soon as he heard his roommate's key in the lock and the door opening, screamed out into the hall, "Don't come in, I'm masturbating!" This could have prevented much embarassment.