POP CULTURE: Corgan vs. Reznor vs. Manson

[Patrick del Poker Grande]

Listening to the new NIN just reminded me of the little thing these three had going on like 5-7 years ago. Who wins in a battle royale, Billy Corgan, Trent Reznor, or Marilyn Manson? Assume (but list) your own rules, victory conditions, and circumstances.

[swede123]

Neither of the three would stand a chance against 98% of the population, but matched up against each other my money would be on Reznor. The guy seems a little less fragile than the other two.

Swede

[Patrick del Poker Grande]

Remember Corgan is like 6'5" and a big wrestling fan. He had an appearance at one of the pro-wresling events and smashed a guitar over some wrestler's head. Plus, he's got those huge vampire teeth. He's a bit lanky, though, and not all that coordinated. Isn't Reznor a pretty small guy? Like 5'9" 140 lbs? It's definitely between Corgan and Reznor, though. Reznor's scrappy, I think.

[SL__72]

Trent, easy.

[SL__72]

For some reason Corgan has always seemed like a pussy to me... maybe its his voice. Its definately between those two though.

[swede123]

I didn't realize Corgan was that tall. Maybe it'd be closer than I originally thought. I still stand by my statement that a vast majority of men, women and children would handily kick the asses of all three, probably at once.

Swede

[PoBoy321]

Trent Reznor, no contest, unless it wasn't a fight to the death. If it was a "Who can be really creepy and kinda gay" then it's a tie between Manson and Corgan.

[hedxcold]

corgan would come out fighting and go after trent first. corgan would probably be to aggressive and trent will use this against him.
then you have manson and trent left. manson has the edge in the amount of physical pain he'd be able to take, but he also might have a chip on his shoulder against trent and would try to hard to show him up.
trent, already a little worn down from corgan, will analyze the situation better knowing he won't be able to keep up with the style manson would prefer, and again let manson be the aggresor and use it against him.
barring any foreign objects, trent would win.

[Patrick del Poker Grande]

Alright, so how about if each got some simple, non-uber-lethal (no guns or huge blades) weapon that somehow was related to them or their band? For instance, Trent gets a couple huge spikes (more for blunt clubbing attacks, but could be used to puncture as a finishing move), Corgan gets vampire teeth and an ice cream truck, and MM gets... I don't know... a prosthetic leg.

[hedxcold]

[ QUOTE ]
Alright, so how about if each got some simple, non-uber-lethal (no guns or huge blades) weapon that somehow was related to them or their band? For instance, Trent gets a couple huge spikes (more for blunt clubbing attacks, but could be used to puncture as a finishing move), Corgan gets vampire teeth and an ice cream truck, and MM gets... I don't know... a prosthetic leg.

[/ QUOTE ]

the vampire teeth would probably help against trent since trent would need to get closer/do more grappling (i'm thinking chris benoit like) since hes smaller. the length of the clubs would determine how much they would help.

[Patrick del Poker Grande]

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the length of the clubs would determine how much they would help.

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The spikes are 9" long. Pay attention.

[benza13]

How long is the prosthetic?

[Shajen]

Who would win?

The world.

[Patrick del Poker Grande]

[ QUOTE ]
How long is the prosthetic?

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Normal leg length. He's a tall mofo, so probably... 40 inches? But it's made of plastic, so it's not incredibly heavy.

[hedxcold]

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the length of the clubs would determine how much they would help.

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The spikes are 9" long. Pay attention.

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where did you say 9" long before that?

[swede123]

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the length of the clubs would determine how much they would help.

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The spikes are 9" long. Pay attention.

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where did you say 9" long before that?

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My gosh, are you really this stupid?

Swede

[hedxcold]

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the length of the clubs would determine how much they would help.

[/ QUOTE ]
The spikes are 9" long. Pay attention.

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where did you say 9" long before that?

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My gosh, are you really this stupid?

Swede

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oh, ha, i guess i am /images/graemlins/blush.gif

[bosoxfan]

What's the leg made out of?

[Patrick del Poker Grande]

[ QUOTE ]
What's the leg made out of?

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Regular prosthetic plastic. It's hollow and not incredibly heavy.

If you guys think they should have different weapons, speak up. These were just examples.

[bosoxfan]

I've never seen one. Will it break if you crack someone in the head with it?

[Patrick del Poker Grande]

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I've never seen one. Will it break if you crack someone in the head with it?

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No. It bends at the knee, though, and it might snap at the knee if you really crack a guy with it perpendicular to the joint's natural motion. I'm pretty sure this would knock the guy out, though, and you'll still have a decent 20"+ of weapon left to use on the next guy. In fact, I might prefer the busted leg.

[swede123]

I'd like to see them in a traditional gladiator match. Reznor would wield a big spear, Corgan a gladius (sword) and a shield, and Manson would have the trident and net setup.

They would each get one week of training, then be set loose in the arena in a one vs one vs one match. I think Reznor would win this one, he just seems more agile than the other two.

Swede

[Shajen]

Ok, you seem serious enough about this that my glib comments need not apply.

I like Swede's idea of a gladiator setup, but I'd prefer they not have ANY training. Would make it more interesting to see Manson spear himself.

First off, I figure Manson would be the first to go. Since Corgan and Reznor both know it's a battle between the two of them, they'd tag team Manson and dispatch him real quick.

From there, remove the weapons and flood the coliseum. Make it a nautical battle. That would rule. I don't have an opinion on which one would make a better pirate, so I am undecided on who wins.

Can we set this up?

[Etaipo]

Haven't you people ever seen Celebrity Death Match?

Manson, by a landslide.

[istewart]

How about Maynard James Keenan vs. John Maynard Keynes?

[bravos1]

[ QUOTE ]
Haven't you people ever seen Celebrity Death Match?

Manson, by a landslide.

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I agree here.. MM wins hands down. All he would need to do is walk in naked.. everyone viewing would have their head instantly explode!

Each can happen independently:

Billy Corgan (w/shaved head) - His huge bald head erupts and out pops an alien space creature to do damage to Reznor and Manson.

Marilyn Manson - conjures up the spirits of the dead. Wherein the ghost of Tupac Shakur and Biggie Smalls proceed to bust caps in the respective asses of both Corgan and Reznor.

Trent Reznor - (w/ his fetish bent) ( e.g. leather wardrobe, Closer video, et. al.) - used chains and whips to beat Corgan and Marilyn into submission. He proceeds to restrain them, whereupon he calls out, "the gimp" who proceeds to anally rape the two musicians. The gimp reveals himself to be Rob Halford of Judas Priest. Rob proceeds to go medieval on Reznor as well and proclaim himself a "bad muthafaka"

[Patrick del Poker Grande]

[ QUOTE ]
The gimp reveals himself to be Rob Halford of Judas Priest. Rob proceeds to go medieval on Reznor as well and proclaim himself a "bad muthafaka"

[/ QUOTE ]
Very nice.