Slow Thinking (a challenge to OOT)

[Matty]

Situation:

You're having sex with someone's girlfriend. Said someone could easily kick the ever-loving piss out of you. Said someone knocks on the front door of his girlfriend's 5th floor apartment during said sex. Said someone knows the girlfriend is home, so said someone's girlfriend insists on opening the door. Since it takes so long to get dressed and open the door, said someone will be very suspicious by the time the door opens and you won't be able to just sprint past him to safety.

There is no other exit from the apartment, and nowhere to safely hide. Assume if said someone suspects you of [censored] his girlfriend, he will kill you.

Assume said someone is of above-average intelligence.

How do you talk your way to safety?

[beta1607]

1. Dont hook up with other dudes girlfriends, especially big dudes girlfriends
2. Don't open the door

[PoBoy321]

I think that your best option here would be to turn on the girlfriend. Before the guy even gets in the door, start screaming at her about "What the [censored] do you mean you have a boyfriend?" Make sure he can hear through the door. I think your only bet is to get him to direct his anger at his girlfriend, not you. If you know the guy, and he knows you know that the girl is his girlfriend, I think you just need to start praying.

[cbfair]

Sung to the tune of: One Way Out...

Ain’t but one way out baby, lord I just can’t go out the door.
Ain’t but one way out baby, and lord I just can’t go out the door.
Cause there’s a man down there, might be your man I don’t know.

Lord you got me trapped woman, up on the second floor;
If I get by this time I won’t be trapped no more.
So raise our window baby, I can ease out soft and slow.
And lord, your neighbors, no they won’t be
Talking that stuff that they don’t know.

Lord, I’m foolish to be here in the first place,
I know some man gonna walk in and take my place.
Ain’t no way in the world, I’m going out that front door
Cause there’s a man down there, might be your man I don’t know.
Cause there’s a man down there, might be your man I don’t know.
Cause there’s a man down there,

Freely
Lord, it just might happen to be your man...
Lord, it just a might be your man,
Oh baby, I just don’t know...

[Warik]

[ QUOTE ]
Assume said someone is of above-average intelligence.

[/ QUOTE ]

Easy. Tell him you had no idea she had a boyfriend. In fact, tell him she explicitly told you her ex dumped her um... 3 months ago.

Then offer to help him hide the body.

[shant]

Crawl into her vagina.

[Claunchy]

Well, if I've learned anything from TV, it's that you should hide in the closet.

Now of course at some point, said boyfriend's going to have to get into the closet for some reason, and hilarity will ensue as you attempt to be extra quiet, or pretend you're a jacket or something.

[J_V]

Hide in the closet, pull out your beretta and hope he doesn't......... open the closet.........open the closet........open the closet?


Also, turn off your cell phone.

[Sightless]

[ QUOTE ]
Crawl into her vagina.

[/ QUOTE ]

you win

[WackityWhiz]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Crawl into her vagina.

[/ QUOTE ]

you win

[/ QUOTE ]

[Dynasty]

[ QUOTE ]
1. Dont hook up with other dudes girlfriends, especially big dudes girlfriends
2. Don't open the door

[/ QUOTE ]

3. Don't repeatedly use "said someone" in your writing.

[jokerthief]

Unfortuanatly, all my intellegence fails me when it comes to fights. I CAN'T walk away from a fight. I fight and die. Honor and Glory.

[utmt40]

I was thinking crawl into her pooper if you are sticking there anyway...

[Los Feliz Slim]

When he comes in and says "What the hell's going on in here" you say "I was [censored] the [censored] out of your girlfriend, man, what do you think I was doing?"

He'll fly right by. Yeeeeehaw, Jester's dead.

[LetYouDown]

[ QUOTE ]
5th floor apartment during said sex

[/ QUOTE ]
Just put your pizza man outfit back on...you had to get back to Domino's anyway.

[IggyWH]

Crawl up into a ball and start crying. A lot of yelling stupid things while crying that can't be put together will add to it all.

Then when he tries to calm you down, drop some kind of bomb on him such as :

1)Your mother, father, sister, brother (or whoever) died.
2)Your girlfriend dumped you.
3)You attempted to kill yourself.

He won't think anything was going on other than his girlfriend trying to console you.

[gonores]

I am ashamed at OOT.

Tell the bitch gimme your scarf, pillowcase, and rope
Tie scarf on face
Tie chick up
Gag chick's mouth with pillowcase
Pull out your gun
Answer door
Make dude pull mad Gs out of floor

2 words. I'm gone

Courtesy of Chris Wallace, aka Notorious B.I.G.

Easy question. Got anything harder?

[bholdr]

pretend you're gay? squeeze your way through the door as he walks in?

then, take some self defense courses if you're dumb enough to screw gals with boyfreinds at their place (take them to a motel, dummy!). but don't feel bad, everyone has to learn this one once.

smear feces all over your naked body and run toward him with open arms

[Riskwise]

SIIHP and all that crap is funny.

but the only way i see myself getting way is yelling something like "POLICE!" at the door before you open it and sprint as fast as you can past him. And if your slow... natural selection.

[touchfaith]

http://prayerthoughts.com/Images/Animated_cat_upside_down_ceiling_hg_clr.gif

[RiverFenix]

If she was naked, have her get into a towel and act like she was getting out of the shower. Get in a room nearest to the door and have her seduce him and take him into the bedroom while you make your way out the front door. This plan takes another 1-2 min to explain and pull off which isnt good

[PoBoy321]

http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b180/PoBoy321/PBF054ADLoveLizard.jpg

[blaze666]

i think that only works when you have a wacky side-kick with hayfever.

[NLSoldier]

[ QUOTE ]
If she was naked, have her get into a towel and act like she was getting out of the shower. Get in a room nearest to the door and have her seduce him and take him into the bedroom while you make your way out the front door. This plan takes another 1-2 min to explain and pull off which isnt good

[/ QUOTE ]

I like this one.

[ChipWrecked]

I was in this exact situation once. It was afternoon. I didn't let her answer the door, we just went on with business. She was upset because she didn't have a car and she knew he knew she was there, blah blah.

She told him later she was asleep and didn't hear him.

A couple weeks later, he came by late at night when she was asleep, alone, and didn't hear him; he kicked the door in.

Apparently he felt like a real tool, and she was in the clear for the day I was there.

[BWebb]

[ QUOTE ]
Hide in the closet, pull out your beretta and hope he doesn't......... open the closet.........open the closet........open the closet?


Also, turn off your cell phone.

[/ QUOTE ]

Damn, I thought for sure I would be the first one to make the R. Kelly reference. Very nice.

[zephed]

Answer the door and sucker punch him. Run fast.