internet poker is dying

[csuf_gambler]

not.

so this guy at my school that says he wants to get into poker. his never been to the casino and doesn't know sh1t. he says he KILLS the play money games.

he just messaged me on aim. pure comic gold.


Him: i was up today almost 400 bucks on the 15/30 tables on pokerstars
Him: im still too scared to do higher stakes
Me: lol dude. wtf u doing playing 15/30
Him: IM POOR
Him: lol
Me: were u seriously playing 15/30
Him: yeah dude i told you im poor
Him: but i have 400 poker dollars now... im just gonna gradually build it
Him: no reason to risk my school money
Me: ur gonna go broke playing 15/30
Him: why
Me: 15/30 is no joke
Me: and i doubt u have the bankroll for it
Him: well whatever, it was working... i planned on staying for like
Him: 15 minutes
Him: and i kept getting pocket pairs n like tripping the flip
Him: like every time i got a pocket pair i either boated or tripped
Me: lol ok
Him: whatever it made me 400 bucks in less than an hour
Him: thats a lot... a LOT for me
Me: how much did u sit down with
Him: at first like 500 cuz like i said i didn't plan on staying long
Me: good job
Him: what? did u think i'd sit with like 100 bucks? people would be GUNNIN for me
Me: lol
Him: so i have 900 bucks deticated to poker now... still broke
Him: but it'll get up there
Him: eventually
Him: if i can resist spending it now that i have some income :x
Me: good luck
Him: luck? rofl
Him: luck has nothing to do with it
Him: :-)


my initial impression was that this guy is an idiot and maybe i should help me. but then he kept talking like a retard so i was just like let him do what he wants and let him go broke. only way he will learn.

so to all the naysayers, this is why internet poker will never die, cause of retards like this.

[jaxUp]

screenname?

[csuf_gambler]

lol i didn't even think to ask since i don't play on pokerstars.

but i just asked him, its "ColdNate". put him on your buddy lists and tell me when he busts /images/graemlins/laugh.gif

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Him: and i kept getting pocket pairs n like tripping the flip

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LMAO.

[Swedebubba]

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Him: and i kept getting pocket pairs n like tripping the flip

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Best line ever!!

[krimson]

Him: and i kept getting pocket pairs n like tripping the flip
Him: like every time i got a pocket pair i either boated or tripped

...

Him: luck? rofl
Him: luck has nothing to do with it

Anyone want to guess when we see this guy on the zoo for yet another "online poker is rigged" rant?

[Mempho]

[ QUOTE ]
Him: and i kept getting pocket pairs n like tripping the flip
Him: like every time i got a pocket pair i either boated or tripped

...

Him: luck? rofl
Him: luck has nothing to do with it

Anyone want to guess when we see this guy on the zoo for yet another "online poker is rigged" rant?

[/ QUOTE ]

3:1 it would be tommorrow if he knew about 2 plus 2; which there is a good chance he doesn't

[Uglyowl]

Just wait til' they turn the doomswitch on and then he will see what poker is.

[HRFats]

[ QUOTE ]
Him: luck? rofl
Him: luck has nothing to do with it


[/ QUOTE ]

Someone's been watching Rounders. I LOVE these players. Luck may not have anything to do with how well you do long term but luck does play into many individual hands. Every suckout where the guy should have folded is luck...dumb luck but luck none the less

[Altaslim]

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Just wait til' they turn the doomswitch on and then he will see what poker is.

[/ QUOTE ]

NH, NH

[toss]

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Him: luck? rofl
Him: luck has nothing to do with it


[/ QUOTE ]

Someone's been watching Rounders. I LOVE these players. Luck may not have anything to do with how well you do long term but luck does play into many individual hands. Every suckout where the guy should have folded is luck...dumb luck but luck none the less

[/ QUOTE ]

Ahhh self delusion is such a great thing.

[boose_bagina]

sounds familiar
"friends that just don't get it" (http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/showthreaded.php?Cat=&Board=inet&Number=3009743&Fo rum=,,,,,,,,&Words=&Searchpage=0&Limit=100&Main=30 09743&Search=true&where=bodysub&Name=38525&dateran ge=1&newerval=&newertype=&olderval=&oldertype=&bod yprev=#Post3009743)

[Overdrive]

And fwiw I see there are 78,000 players on Party tonight as of 9:22 cst. I remember when I was amazed when they had 30,000 on a night.

[theben]

a fool and his money are soon parted

[TheHammer24]

[ QUOTE ]
lol i didn't even think to ask since i don't play on pokerstars.

but i just asked him, its "ColdNate". put him on your buddy lists and tell me when he busts /images/graemlins/laugh.gif

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Lol...by the way, go Fedor /images/graemlins/wink.gif, sorry Mirko

[Mr_J]

Gotta find out if he's trying to hustle you by convincing you to challenge him HU. If it turns out he actually is a moron, then challenge him HU. You don't have much time, gotta get him before the 15/30 crowd does.

[miami32]

Gold Jerry, it's gold!

[Python49]

If most of these people who said poker was dying were in college they'd realize the reason why it's not going anywhere. Today I was in class for example and the class is called business ethics, somehow the topic comes up of gambling and at least 7 kids start getting into a debate about how much they "own at poker" and how much "money they take from people". Not only there but I go to games on campus and everyone thinks they are the best players on the planet and then talk about how online poker is rigged so they don't play there.

[Python49]

After reading the last part of my post I see that i'm pretty much contradicting myself but what I was getting at was that most people ages 18-25 (or any age for that matter) thinks they are great players and play online. Alot of them don't have self control and end up dumping all the money they have into online poker before then going on a tirade about it being rigged.

[csuf_gambler]

and so it continues. comedic gold part 2. this guy just messaged me again today. this is from like 2 hours ago. this one is a bit longer but worth the read. i use "ME------" as myself to make it easier to read.


Him: ever have a day where u don't get any cards
Him: AT ALL
Me------: lol ur sample size is too small
Him: internet died again
Him: Me------: lol ur sample size is too small
Him: ?
Me------: it means u dont have enough hands to even begint o comprehend the monster down swings u will have
Him: internet keeps dying over n over again... did you say anything after the sample size thing?

Him is away at 9:25:10 PM.

Me------: yes

Auto response from Him

Him returned at 9:31:01 PM.

Him: k what did you say /images/graemlins/blush.gif
Me------: Me------: it means u dont have enough hands to even begint o comprehend the monster down swings u will have
Him: :-( why's it have to happen today though
Him: i was only playing like suited high cards too
Him: and even the hands i folded wouldn't have made anything
Him: and the ones i played got beat
Him: it was so horrible
Me------: brb tv
Him: k
Me------: damn that sux, how much u lose
Him: 100 bucks... cuz i was smart n as soon as i saw bad "luck" comin i went to the .50/1 tables /images/graemlins/laugh.gif
Him: if i stayed at the bigger tables
Him: i would be out like 500
Me------: why didnt u play ur normal 15/30 game
I Him: thats not normal, that was once :x
Him: i play 3/6 mostly
Him: but i was losing
Him: so i was like screw that
Him: n i went to the cheap tables
Him: still lost 100 bucks
Him: cuz i hit NOTHING
Me------: brb tv
Me------: how long did u play
Him: 3 hours :x
Me------: 1 table?
Him: nooooo i hop around more than most
Him: actually i hop around like
Him: every time i buy in, i'll usually double it then change tables
Him: ... when im winning
Me------: 1 table at a time i meant
Him: yeah at a time
Me------: dude thats only like 150 hands
Him: lol 150 raked hands according to my fpp's
Him: maybe it was longer
Him: cuz i didn't play 3 hours straight
Him: i played before class, after class, after lunch, after dinner
Me------: yea 150 hands = NOTHING
Him: i actually didn't even know i could play more than one table till this evening
Him: :x
Him: lol
Me------: once u get to this level, 1 table = boring
Him: lol ok so its a good thing that i was bored?
Me------: um i yea i guess but ur not ready for more then 1 table yet
Him: why not :-(
Him: when i sit down at the limit tables
Him: i know what everyones gonna do
Him: whether im winning or losing
Him: and i usually call their hands
Me------: lol go for it cuh
Him: is that a sarcastic kinda like "you'll come back sayin you were right" or like "if you think you're ready then sure"
Him: you're the guru here, just tell n i'll do
Me------: ur not ready. did u get those books
Him: yeah
Him: ordered them anyway
Me------: read them books
Me------: stop playing
Me------: read those books before u play again
Him: ... even the .50/1 tables?
Me------: yes. play those nano limits if u want
Me------: pokerstars goes all the way down to like 1 cent 2 cent i think
Him: i'll play the nothing tables for fpp's /images/graemlins/laugh.gif
Him: so i can get a supercool beanie, lol
Him: jk
Him: can you use fpp's for anything else besides the store?
Me------: dont think so
Him: gay
Him: then whats the bonus benefit of pokerstars
Me------: they dont have a sign up bonus
Me------: but they have reloads from time to time
Him: ok thats something that ive meant to ask you
Him: how do you reload
Him: and what exactly is it
Him: sorry if thats a stupid question that i should have read
Me------: bonuswhores.com
Him: damnit i read all that
Him: but wheres the part about the damn reloads
Him: it mentions them a lot
Him: but it never defines
Him: ... that i saw
Me------: it tells u exactly what it is
Me------: explore the site
Him: damnit why do i get a poker guide who's as lazy as mee
Him: :P
Me------: dude it tells u exactly what it is in that link i sent u like a week ago
Him: wait.. is a reload just like putting more money in /images/graemlins/blush.gif
Me------: YES
Him: rofl
Him: sorry
Him: it all makes sense now :x
Me------: indeed
Him: whats a good site for signup bonuses
Him: and/or reloads
Him: cuz that site gives a bunch
Him: but i can't commit
Me------: dont even think about that right now. wait till u get the books, read em
Me------: study
Him: :-( its soooo sloowwww though
Him: blah
Me------: why didnt u go to the local bookstore
Him: cuz i don't have a car
Him: and i dunno where any bookstores are
Him: its supposed to come like tomorrow
Me------: ride ur bike bro
Me------: im sure theres a barnes around shcool
Him: i havn't seen one
Him: its ok they're ordered already :/
Me------: lol
Him: at least im still up 800 bucks :/
Him: but it still feels bad to lose 100 bucks
Me------: 800?
Me------: how did u go from 400 to 800


he doesn't respond to my last question. i wonder why, haha

[csuf_gambler]

he responded....the kids using his financial aid money for poker. glad to that see my taxe(my parents) dollars are hard at work.


Him: cuz i decided to not take out what i put in
Him: cuz i found out
Him: i don't need that money
Him: cuz i was calculating my costs for the semester without another grant that i just got
Him: so now i have 600 extra bucks plus that 400 i put in
Me------: so ur profit is still 400?
Him: now it is
Him: wait
Him: no
Him: cuz i put 500 in
Him: so i was up to 9
Him: and i lost 1
Him: so my profit is 300
Me------: o ic
Him: either way
Him: its a lot for me :-(
Me------: thats why u shouldnt above ur bankroll
Him: should above my bankroll?
Me------: shouldnt play above ur bankroll i mean
Him: well the 800 bucks that i have now is totally for poker
Him: cuz i got another grant
Him: and i have almost no food expenses and no transportation expenses... i just got money from the governemnt to play poker
Me------: lol glad to see that the system works
Him: well i mean think about it... they give me 14k a year
Him: my rent is 250 a month
Him: im fed by families n stuff all the time
Him: i ride my bicycle to school
Him: ... even taking this 500 bucks to play poker, im gonna have a couple hundred bucks left over at the end of the semester
Me------: lol fanancial aid for poker, ur going str8 to hell
Him: lol its not like i can call up the school n be like "no ur giving me way too much money for free, i don't want it"
Me------: lol its all good
Him: alright class in the morning
Him: late
Me------: latas

[ QUOTE ]
he responded....the kids using his financial aid money for poker. glad to that see my taxe(my parents) dollars are hard at work.

[previous stuff snipped]

Him: well the 800 bucks that i have now is totally for poker
Him: cuz i got another grant
Him: and i have almost no food expenses and no transportation expenses... i just got money from the governemnt to play poker
Me------: lol glad to see that the system works
Him: well i mean think about it... they give me 14k a year
Him: my rent is 250 a month
Him: im fed by families n stuff all the time
Him: i ride my bicycle to school
Him: ... even taking this 500 bucks to play poker, im gonna have a couple hundred bucks left over at the end of the semester
Me------: lol fanancial aid for poker, ur going str8 to hell
Him: lol its not like i can call up the school n be like "no ur giving me way too much money for free, i don't want it"
Me------: lol its all good
Him: alright class in the morning
Him: late
Me------: latas

[/ QUOTE ]

Man...this is either really sad or really hilarious. I just can't figure out which.

What is worse, seeing a kid who is completely delusional go broke or reading the admission that he uses government grants to play poker?

It does irritate me that I never qualified for the grants he has "earned" and had to work full time for my degree. Maybe I should sit at his table sometime...

[timprov]

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What is worse, seeing a kid who is completely delusional go broke or reading the admission that he uses government grants to play poker?

[/ QUOTE ]

I think it's the fact that someone who can use the "sentence" lol its not like i can call up the school n be like "no ur giving me way too much money for free, i don't want it" without irony even got into college.

[gildwulf]

Dude, I hope you are bigger than this kid or have some protection. When he eventually finds out about 2+2 (it sounds like you've recommended some 2+2 books) and realizes you've made fun of him to the entire poker world he's going to hire some goons with his financial aid money and kick your ass.

[Equal]

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[ QUOTE ]
lol i didn't even think to ask since i don't play on pokerstars.

but i just asked him, its "ColdNate". put him on your buddy lists and tell me when he busts /images/graemlins/laugh.gif

[/ QUOTE ]

Lol...by the way, go Fedor /images/graemlins/wink.gif, sorry Mirko

[/ QUOTE ]

Fedor is a machine.

[applejuicekid]

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lol i didn't even think to ask since i don't play on pokerstars.

but i just asked him, its "ColdNate". put him on your buddy lists and tell me when he busts /images/graemlins/laugh.gif

[/ QUOTE ]

Lol...by the way, go Fedor /images/graemlins/wink.gif, sorry Mirko

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Fedor is a machine.

[/ QUOTE ]

Worst decision ever.