What Would You Say? [Archive] - Two Plus Two Older Archives

Klepton

09-19-2005, 09:20 PM

I have a roomate who is a losing player. He's getting better, and he started reading books, but his parent's know about how he has lost some money to poker. He has a sister who is a big mouth. She knows about my success in poker, and told her parents how I am now helping him a little.

So last week I go visit my roomate's parents house in LA because we were going to the dodger's game. This was going to be the first time I would be meeting his parents.

We walk into the kitchen where his mother is and my roomate goes - "This is Carlo."

Before I can even finish saying "Nice to meet you," she blurts out, "You're the one who is ruining his life by playing poker all day and not going to school."

I'm still shaking her hand.

She then says, "Do you parent's know what you are doing?"
I reply , "Yes."
She says, "Wow they must be really ashamed."

Your move.

mosdef

09-19-2005, 09:49 PM

how large is the husband? how mad would he get if you slapped her?

sorry, that was sarcastic, and not helpful. how old are you guys? my mom stopped caring who my friends were when I was 13.

onegymrat

09-19-2005, 09:51 PM

She then says, "Do your parents know what you are doing?"
I reply, "Yes."
She says, "Wow they must be really ashamed."

Klepton then says, "It's a real pleasure to meet you, Mrs. ____. We shouldn't be too late tonight, since the Dodgers are playing so terrible these days." Then Klepton turns around to leave.

Mrs. ____ responds with, "Hey, I asked you a question, what do you have to say for yourself?!"

Klepton turns around and replies, "I'm sorry ma'am, but one thing my parents did teach me was manners, and I sure don't see it in this house."

Mrs. ____ wasn't sure how to respond but when she did, Klepton was already out the door.

flair1239

09-20-2005, 12:25 AM

" My parents are not ashamed of anyone who makes an honest living and pays their own way."

Bremen

09-20-2005, 12:31 AM

"I'm sorry, but if you have a problem with how your son spends his money you should talk to him."

Mr. Curious

09-20-2005, 02:10 AM

[ QUOTE ]
"My parents are not ashamed of anyone who makes an honest living and pays their own way."

[/ QUOTE ]

I like onegymrat's, but this response is better because it is not so abrasive and could lead to an intelligent conversation about how poker is perceived by those on the outside and possibly an acceptance by the parents of something their child enjoys.

Justin A

09-20-2005, 02:24 AM

Here's what I'd probably say: "It's hard for them to be ashamed when I make more than they do."

Here's what should be said: "My parents are very proud of me, they know that I'm very responsible with my money and that I work very hard to succeed in poker."

Moozh

09-20-2005, 02:27 AM

Wow, she's a friendly one...

I'd honestly would just ask her to tell me why she thinks that's so. Then at least you could try and explain your side of things in a civil manner. You might even be able to get her to treat you politely. No point in alienating your roommate's mom anyway.

gonores

09-20-2005, 03:08 AM

[ QUOTE ]
She then says, "Do you parent's know what you are doing?"
I reply , "Yes."
She says, "Wow they must be really ashamed."

[/ QUOTE ]

"Do your parents know you raised a child who is ruining his life with gambling?"

I'm not sure if that particular phrase would come to me fast enough to use in a combat situation, but I can tell you this much....that's a game-ender right there. I would never force myself to be in the presence of someone like that. I would go home after I got out some sort of angry response.

Sciolist

09-20-2005, 04:35 AM

Is there a knife nearby? I would go with my "Stab woman in face" instinct. Or tell her to stop being a bitch.

"Stop being a bitch. If you want a rational discussion about this, I am quite prepared to have one. If you want to insult me, I'm quite happy to answer back"

Jman28

09-20-2005, 06:42 AM

I'm still not mature enough to handle this nicely. In my opinion, she's just forfeited her right to common courtesy. I'd probably tell her she's fat or something. Women hate that.

diebitter

09-20-2005, 09:24 AM

You say "I'll wait in the car," and leave with dignity.

Then throw a tyre iron through the window.

speirs

09-20-2005, 09:39 AM

Wouldn't this be a good time to headbutt her?

uw_madtown

09-20-2005, 10:01 AM

[ QUOTE ]
Before I can even finish saying "Nice to meet you," she blurts out, "You're the one who is ruining his life by playing poker all day and not going to school."

I'm still shaking her hand.

She then says, "Do you parent's know what you are doing?"
I reply , "Yes."
She says, "Wow they must be really ashamed."

Your move.

[/ QUOTE ]

Hero replies in a sincere tone, "It seems you've already made up your mind about me and how I earn money, so I suppose it's not much use discussing it."

This is both a subtle jab (insinuates she's close minded) yet non-confrontational (you offer her a chance to bail out a small victor by appearing unwilling to put up a fight).

It's pretty much SOP with the small handful of people who've strongly disapproved when informed of my poker playing. People worth knowing will digest it and at least hear you out with an open mind. Everyone else will just file you away under degenerate. But who cares--if they're that judgemental, I certainly don't care to be friendly with them.

EDIT: Alternate line to take -- "That's pretty close-minded of you, Mrs. X. YSSCKY."

britspin

09-20-2005, 10:05 AM

[ QUOTE ]
You're the one who is ruining his life by playing poker all day and not going to school

[/ QUOTE ]

She's more worried about his not going to school and not getting ahead in "normal" life than anything else. If you care particularly what she thinks, I'd wouldn't focus on your (or his) poker achievements, but about how well you are both getting on in areas she cares about - like college.

If you don't care about what she thinks, just tell her that your parents are proud they've raised a son who has sufficient manners not to be gratuitously rude to their guests.

Rolen

09-20-2005, 10:09 AM

"Do your parents know you raised a child who is ruining his life with gambling?" is a good one.

It's important to be extremely confrontational in this situation. She's obviously a withered old hag. Tell her!

Bluffoon

09-20-2005, 10:11 AM

I would just change the subject. It's not like this person's opinion matters to me in any way so why bother trying to change it and I have no need defend or justify my choices because I am comfortable with them. There is also no sense in being unpleasant to your friend's mom. I would however make it a point to avoid her socially as much as possible in the future.

09-20-2005, 11:11 AM

[ QUOTE ]

She then says, "Do you parent's know what you are doing?"
I reply , "Yes."
She says, "Wow they must be really ashamed."

Your move.

[/ QUOTE ]

You say "No. Why would they be?"

This is classic martial arts - use your opponent's aggression against them.

She wants to make a glib little statement and you are now forcing her to explain her position in more detail. You can then pick apart what she says.

TiK

09-20-2005, 11:17 AM

What did you end up saying?

aflaba

09-20-2005, 11:28 AM

Ugh. What a story. It's really uncomfortable... and she's one crazy momma

Dave H.

09-20-2005, 11:34 AM

[ QUOTE ]
She then says, "Do you parent's know what you are doing?"
I reply , "Yes."
She says, "Wow they must be really ashamed."

[/ QUOTE ]

You say: "No, actually I believe they're quite proud of my accomplishments. By the way, here's a Kleenex...you need to blow your nose"

aflaba

09-20-2005, 11:34 AM

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]

She then says, "Do you parent's know what you are doing?"
I reply , "Yes."
She says, "Wow they must be really ashamed."

Your move.

[/ QUOTE ]

You say "No. Why would they be?"

This is classic martial arts - use your opponent's aggression against them.

She wants to make a glib little statement and you are now forcing her to explain her position in more detail. You can then pick apart what she says.

[/ QUOTE ]

I like this one

ChicagoTroy

09-20-2005, 12:12 PM

Steal her bicycle.

sfer

09-20-2005, 12:39 PM

onegymrat

09-20-2005, 12:42 PM

Hi K,

The point of my skit earlier was to show that no good things can come out of arguing with those that do not understand what you actually do. You'll be wasting your breath and making the relationship worse between your friend and his mother. The best thing to do is just walk away and laugh it off. You will NEVER be able to convince these type of people to see things your way, especially parents. If debating is a turn-on for you, then you should have gone to law school. But for now, know that you are proud of the accomplishments that you've achieved and be the bigger person by not fueling the fire.

Then again, I'm curious to what you really said. I guess it would have depended on your mood.

4_2_it

09-20-2005, 01:04 PM

[ QUOTE ]
"Wow they must be really ashamed."

[/ QUOTE ]

"Hmmmmm. You might be on to something there Mrs. ____. My dad looked okay when I handed him the keys to his new Corvette last week, but my mom mentioned that a Ferrari might have been more in line. Maybe I'm the one who should be ashamed."

TheGame1020

09-20-2005, 02:17 PM

What did you end up saying?

derick

09-20-2005, 02:37 PM

[ QUOTE ]
I have a roomate who is a losing player. He's getting better, and he started reading books, but his parent's know about how he has lost some money to poker. He has a sister who is a big mouth. She knows about my success in poker, and told her parents how I am now helping him a little.

So last week I go visit my roomate's parents house in LA because we were going to the dodger's game. This was going to be the first time I would be meeting his parents.

We walk into the kitchen where his mother is and my roomate goes - "This is Carlo."

Before I can even finish saying "Nice to meet you," she blurts out, "You're the one who is ruining his life by playing poker all day and not going to school."

I'm still shaking her hand.

She then says, "Do you parent's know what you are doing?"
I reply , "Yes."
She says, "Wow they must be really ashamed."

Your move.

[/ QUOTE ]

# I'd check the flop with a little Rogerian active listening..

.... Sounds like you're concerned about the time and money he's spending on poker ...

# something she says goes here.

# Min bet the turn as well...

... *nods* ... " When you consider the top 1% of players are winning most of the money I couldn't agree with you more that most people shouldn't play ... "

# something she said goes here.

The river plays itself....

If she folds say, "Nice hand. I'm so glad we agree"

If she bets, drop the hammer, "Bad players lose their money but good players are the real losers *look sad* they lose time ... ... For instance I only won about [the price of this house.]"

thirddan

09-20-2005, 04:13 PM

haha, you are too nice...

OrangeKing

09-20-2005, 04:19 PM

[ QUOTE ]
What did you end up saying?

[/ QUOTE ]

I'm also interested in Hero's line here. It seems like a WA/WB situation.

Klepton

09-20-2005, 04:30 PM

so i was seriously so taken back that i said nothin

being conditioned to stay silent at the poker tables when peopel talk [censored], i just stayed silent like i normally do and said every evil thng in my head, including, but not limiting to stabbing, murder, regicide, tricycle stealing, and bragging.

i lied a little and said it was only my friend and i. it was actually like 4 or 5 friends that witnessed the situation. so 30 minutes later while in the car one of the other friends blurted out "dude, wtf was that with carlo and your mom?" and then we all started laughing about it.

shant

09-20-2005, 06:54 PM

[ QUOTE ]
Steal her bicycle.

[/ QUOTE ]
Thread winner.

Rasputin

09-20-2005, 08:25 PM

After some reflection, methinks you should have said "I dunno, why don't you call them and find out?" and given her your parents phone number.

She'd probably call trying to convince your mother that you're going to gamble your life away and your mother who presumably knows better might be able to edjumucate her a little.

DyessMan89

09-20-2005, 08:33 PM

Wow, I would have been really pissed. I think you handled it well by not saying anything, though. I would have probobly said something along the lines of ...

"I dont remember asking for your opinion on how I run my life"

rory

09-20-2005, 08:41 PM

She is baiting you, you did a good job to not take the bait. That is how a lot of cunty women handle situations, they are passive aggressive and try to get you to blow up and be the bad guy. Saying nothing was good. Saying, "No. Why would they be?" is probably the best way to handle it.

Sephus

09-21-2005, 01:14 AM

regicide?

btw i would have just stared at her. then i would have either just remarked on how incredibly rude and disrespectful her comment was, hit the road, or both.

Alex/Mugaaz

09-21-2005, 01:19 AM

Don't be results oriented. There is no way to "win" in this situation. She made it ugly, making her look like an idiot isn't going to help anybody. You did exactly the right thing, ignore it.

J_V

09-21-2005, 01:56 AM

These situations come up all the time. Essentially you need to get the message across that disrespecting you is unacceptable. There are many ways to accomplish this.

Because this example is so disrespectful, I would make sure she never forgets this incident. If she leaves in tears, maybe she'll learn something from it.

TheHip41

09-21-2005, 04:05 AM

http://i9.photobucket.com/albums/a96/thehip41/jesuslovesyou.jpg

/images/graemlins/blush.gif

Rasputin

09-21-2005, 01:05 PM

[ QUOTE ]
These situations come up all the time. Essentially you need to get the message across that disrespecting you is unacceptable. There are many ways to accomplish this.

Because this example is so disrespectful, I would make sure she never forgets this incident. If she leaves in tears, maybe she'll learn something from it.

[/ QUOTE ]

Why, exactly, do you need to get any message across to her?

09-21-2005, 08:21 PM

I would probably have said something like "shut up"

meow_meow

09-22-2005, 12:53 PM

[ QUOTE ]

# I'd check the flop with a little Rogerian active listening..

.... Sounds like you're concerned about the time and money he's spending on poker ...

# something she says goes here.

# Min bet the turn as well...

... *nods* ... " When you consider the top 1% of players are winning most of the money I couldn't agree with you more that most people shouldn't play ... "

# something she said goes here.

The river plays itself....

If she folds say, "Nice hand. I'm so glad we agree"

If she bets, drop the hammer, "Bad players lose their money but good players are the real losers *look sad* they lose time ... ... For instance I only won about [the price of this house.]"

[/ QUOTE ]

By far the best answer.

I think everyone else needs to put themselves in her shoes for a sec. Her son is apparently intent on wasting his future and all ready cash gambling on the internet (which she knows nothing about). You are apparently facilitating this.

In all honesty, if faced with this situation I probably take the same line that OP really did, i.e. say nothing. Then again, nobody knows I play poker, because I know they would be sooooo disappointed, even though I make more than they do.