What's the dumbest thing you have ever done that involves injury?

[pokerdirty]

What's the dumbest thing you have ever done that involves injury to yourself ?

I was playing pickup basketball at the gym friday, and my team was losing 4-10 (1st to 11). I decided that I was going to try and steal the ball from their center instead of just letting him score and getting the [censored] off the court. I slapped at the ball, not expecting it to come out, but it did, and it bounced down and back up, breaking my [censored] pinkie finger. This is a $1000 mistake. /images/graemlins/mad.gif

I know OOT can come up with something 2356x better though...

[steelcmg]

fight club

[jakethebake]

[ QUOTE ]
This is a $1000 mistake. /images/graemlins/mad.gif

[/ QUOTE ]

How is this a $1000 mistake? /images/graemlins/confused.gif

[pokerdirty]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
This is a $1000 mistake. /images/graemlins/mad.gif

[/ QUOTE ]

How is this a $1000 mistake? /images/graemlins/confused.gif

[/ QUOTE ]

ER bill

[jokerthief]

I got drunk and decieded to take a walk on the train tracks by my house. Now I have no legs.

[steelcmg]

[ QUOTE ]
I got drunk and decieded to take a walk on the train tracks by my house. Now I have no legs.

[/ QUOTE ]


LOL I HAVE NO LEGS.
I love that line.

[Los Feliz Slim]

Not my story, but deserves telling.

Drunk in the fraternity house one night (this is 10 years or so ago), an idiot friend of mine decides to play a "prank" on the fraternity next door. So, he goes over to their house with some sort of strong acid (hydrochloric?) solution he's stolen from a lab on campus. He pours said solution on one of the concrete lions by their front door. Of course, the acid runs off the lion onto his leg, burning him terribly and requiring all kinds of emergency room/medical care. As far as I know his leg remains disfigured to this day.

[jakethebake]

[ QUOTE ]
ER bill

[/ QUOTE ]

You went to the ER for a broken pinky? Did you have bone coming through the skin or something? /images/graemlins/confused.gif

[diebitter]

I was fixing a fuse on a fautly light, but couldn't be bothered to rescrew the back of the plug on, cos I was half-certain the replacement fuse in the plug was also broken. So I pushed the pins in with my fingers, and the socket was turned on.

I've still got curly hair.

[Paluka]

I fried my scalp bleaching my hair. I literally had blood running down the sides of my head.

[pokerdirty]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
ER bill

[/ QUOTE ]

You went to the ER for a broken pinky? Did you have bone coming through the skin or something? /images/graemlins/confused.gif

[/ QUOTE ]

no, but i don't have a doctor i can just go see here at college. i didn't go until the next day (saturday) and NYUs urgent care center on campus is closed on the weekends.

[bugstud]

[ QUOTE ]
I fried my scalp bleaching my hair. I literally had blood running down the sides of my head.

[/ QUOTE ]

ow

[PTjvs]

Mowing grass, the stupid lawn mower kept getting clogged, and it was a pain in the ass to restart, so after the 10238901239th time, I decided to just pull out the clump w/o turning off the mower.

All I could feel was a sting on my middle finger, which I immediately grabbed with my other hand. Blood was runnign out from between my fingers, but I couldnt really tell if I still had all of my middle finger or not, and I was scared to look for a couple minutes. Ended up that I just sliced a little piece from my fingertip that got sewed back on, but was pretty scary clutching my hand & not being sure if I was horribly disfigured or not.

jvs

[imported_The Vibesman]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
ER bill

[/ QUOTE ]

You went to the ER for a broken pinky? Did you have bone coming through the skin or something? /images/graemlins/confused.gif

[/ QUOTE ]

Was about to say the same thing. Splint it with a popsicle stick and get on with life.

[pokerdirty]

[ QUOTE ]
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[ QUOTE ]
ER bill

[/ QUOTE ]

You went to the ER for a broken pinky? Did you have bone coming through the skin or something? /images/graemlins/confused.gif

[/ QUOTE ]

Was about to say the same thing. Splint it with a popsicle stick and get on with life.

[/ QUOTE ]

I thought the same thing, but when i woke up the next morning, my finger was purple and i couldn't bend it.

When i have a kid (god forbid) 20 years from now and i'm teaching it to count, i would actually like to be able to get to 10....

[miajag81]

Any heterosexual male who bleaches his hair deserves whatever injury results.

As for me, when I was 13 or 14 my friend and I were chasing each other around my house for some reason. I decided to run out the back door, but when I opened it (it opened to the inside), the door hit my foot and bounced back, crushing my head between the door and the frame. Worst pain I've ever felt and I had giant bruises on both sides of my head for about a week.

Also when I was about 6 I put a steak knife through my hand trying to cut an orange, but I think my young age is a mitigating factor.

[LetYouDown]

[ QUOTE ]
I decided to just pull out the clump w/o turning off the mower.

[/ QUOTE ]
That's where you went wrong.

[jakethebake]

[ QUOTE ]
no, but i don't have a doctor i can just go see here at college. i didn't go until the next day (saturday) and NYUs urgent care center on campus is closed on the weekends.

[/ QUOTE ]

I've broken every one of my fingers multiple times and never been to a doctor. Just give em a good yank and slap a splint on there if you think you need to.

[pokerdirty]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
no, but i don't have a doctor i can just go see here at college. i didn't go until the next day (saturday) and NYUs urgent care center on campus is closed on the weekends.

[/ QUOTE ]

I've broken every one of my fingers multiple times and never been to a doctor. Just give em a good yank and slap a splint on there if you think you need to.

[/ QUOTE ]

you should share a story jake /images/graemlins/grin.gif

[Slow Play Ray]

pissed at girl, punched wall, broke hand.

2 months pass...

repeat.

[bwana devil]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
ER bill

[/ QUOTE ]

You went to the ER for a broken pinky? Did you have bone coming through the skin or something? /images/graemlins/confused.gif

[/ QUOTE ]

no, but i don't have a doctor i can just go see here at college. i didn't go until the next day (saturday) and NYUs urgent care center on campus is closed on the weekends.

[/ QUOTE ]

i broke my pinkie playing football a year ago. my friend is a paramedic and i asked him what i should do. he said he could pull it back in place or i could go to the ER and they could do it. so he snapped it back and i kept playing. it freakin hurt though.

about a week later it was swollen like a balloon. i was a little bothered thinking i got bad advice from my friend so i went to the doctor and the doc told me the ER would have done the same thing. wasted my copay that morning.

bwana

[jakethebake]

[ QUOTE ]
Any heterosexual male who bleaches his hair deserves whatever injury results.

[/ QUOTE ]

[jakethebake]

[ QUOTE ]
Mowing grass, the stupid lawn mower kept getting clogged...

[/ QUOTE ]

First sentence and it was already good. /images/graemlins/grin.gif

[mackthefork]

[ QUOTE ]
Any heterosexual male who chases boys deserves whatever injury results.

As for me, when I was 13 or 14 my friend and I were chasing each other around my house

[/ QUOTE ]

FYP

Mack

[PocketJokers72]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I decided to just pull out the clump w/o turning off the mower.

[/ QUOTE ]

[/ QUOTE ]

So "You're That Guy"

http://www.adonisprecision.com/imghost/ist2_167729_lawnmowers_are_dangerous.jpg

[Vish]

I shaved my head once on a drunken whim (that's not the dumb part). A friend warned me that if I go outside, I should put sunscreen on my head. I ignored her and spent a day in the sun. My scalp got sunburned and for a week my head looked disgusting with dry skin flaking off and some clear fluid dripping from it.

[Paluka]

[ QUOTE ]
Any heterosexual male who bleaches his hair deserves whatever injury results.


[/ QUOTE ]

In my defense, this was not a "I'm some fancy boy with blonde hair" thing, this was my 18 year old I'm punk rock and I want a blonde mohawk type thing.

[Mars357]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Any heterosexual male who bleaches his hair deserves whatever injury results.


[/ QUOTE ]

In my defense, this was not a "I'm some fancy boy with blonde hair" thing, this was my 18 year old I'm punk rock and I want a blonde mohawk type thing.

[/ QUOTE ]

This changes nothing...

[Dave G.]

I was in high school near a concreted patio area with some friends. I couldn't play basketball for crap, but my friends were really into it. So they'd jump up on this little ledge thing there some height above us and grab onto it, and lift themselves up as if they were slam dunking.

I decided I'd try and show how cool I was by doing it also. In high school I was somewhat overweight and as I said, completely crap at basketball. I took a runup, jumped, grabbed the ledge... but the runup I took gave my body momentum that carried most of me forward while my hands were back grabbing the ledge. I ended up horizontal before my hands slipped and I fell flat on the concrete ground on my back. Very painful, and very embaressing too. I was just trying to fit in. /images/graemlins/frown.gif

Damn highschool social ladder structure, burn in hell you bastards.

[rlpsjstyle]

I second this... without the repeat.

I never knew I broke my wrist, though, and it bit me in the ass when, over a year later, I had the back piece of a shelving unit fall on the same wrist at work.

Workers Comp said "Old injury, we're not paying." Thank god for insurance, or I'd have been $25K in the hole.

Punched the TV screen in 7th grade after I lost the Super Bowl in Tecmo Bowl (broke my knuckle). I was up like 42-7 in the 4th quarter then the CPU pulled that sh*t where all of a sudden their running back can run twice as fast as mine!?? WTF????

Also rode my bike down a hill with no hands while staring into the sky. Fell and ripped up my upper lip. 3rd grade.

Held a firecracker in my hand while wearing a winter/ski glove and let it explode. The glove ended up with a large hole in it and my hand was semi-burned. This was around 9th grade. I got lucky though, because I was close to just holding the firecracker in my bare palm and letting it go off.... /images/graemlins/confused.gif

I'm sure there is more stuff that I'm forgetting. Surprisingly, I don't think I've ever been injured while drunk.

[Aloysius]

Not my story but thought worthwhile to pass on -

New Hampshire - Post-frat party

Dude gets beyond trashed. Like basically comatose. If everyone else were not super-trashed, I get the sense he would've been taken to ER for alcohol poisoning.

Anyway, he passes out face-first on a radiator (the old kind in east coast college dorms that are always on during the winter) - is not moved / does not move for some time (possibly an hour).

Wakes up - one side of face disfigured (apparently to this day) - now known as "Radiator Face".

Aloysius

[offTopic]

I was about 10 years old, and a friend and myself were skipping rocks across a large puddle. I found a piece of broken bottle, and got the bright idea that, since the glass was smooth and all, it would skip really well. It did. /images/graemlins/blush.gif I got about 10-11 skips out of it, and only noticed a few seconds afterwards that the palm of my hand was all bloody. Only about 6-7 cuts, though, so less than one per skip.

[Mars357]

In Jr. High, I rode my skate board down this steep, long hill behind our house with no forethought of what I would do when I go going too fast. I jumped on the board and started down the hill. When I got going very fast (I'm guessing 30 MPH) the board started wobbling and I knew I was going to loose control ....the board was wobbling so bad that I didn't dare move enough to drag a foot or anything for fear that I'd wipe out on the asphalt (I was wearing shorts and a tank top...) I decided the best thing to do would be to jump off and just run with it...

So I jumped off and ran with it.... for one step.....then I face planted into the asphalt... Aside from the obvious road rash and a huge bump on my forehead, I broke my arm pretty severly....

I went home and the first thing my mom did was chew my ass for being so stupid..... I felt like saying... Hey mom, WTF?? I'm hurt here..... why are you chewing my ass? Years later I realized that my dad was out of work at the time and the family had no insurance... No idea how much this ended up costing my parents but I'll bet it was a considerable amount.

Mars

Wow... is this all you could come up with? lol. Docile, very docile childhood.

[ QUOTE ]

Wakes up - one side of face disfigured (apparently to this day) - now known as "Radiator Face".


[/ QUOTE ]

You gotta think of something more creative than Radiator Face. Maybe Ray Diator... Melted Man... something jeez. But good story nonetheless.

[pokerdirty]

[ QUOTE ]
Ray Diator...

[/ QUOTE ]

I'll admit, I laughed.

[roxtar]

[ QUOTE ]
pissed at girl, punched wall, broke hand.

[/ QUOTE ]


And that wall STILL doesn't give a damn about what you were angry about.

[TheBlueMonster]

When I was younger I decided to karate chop a bus seat. The one thing I learn in retrospect is that children bones break pretty easily.

[ QUOTE ]
I decided I'd try and show how cool I was by doing it also. In high school I was somewhat overweight and as I said, completely crap at basketball. I took a runup, jumped, grabbed the ledge... but the runup I took gave my body momentum that carried most of me forward while my hands were back grabbing the ledge. I ended up horizontal before my hands slipped and I fell flat on the concrete ground on my back. Very painful, and very embaressing too. I was just trying to fit in. /images/graemlins/frown.gif

Damn highschool social ladder structure, burn in hell you bastards.

[/ QUOTE ]


This made me laugh. Good story.

[Aloysius]

There's a simple elegance to "Radiator Face" I think...

Though if his name was Ray that would work out well, which reminds me. On my floor, we have a mail room delivery guy who has downs syndrome. His name is Timmy Downs.

[Matt Flynn]

College, old bulletin board, approx 18" frame, half-inch wood. Punched out the cardboard, then made a bet with my blackbelt roommate that I could severe the frame in half (cutting two egdes) with one chop. Roommate thought it was even money given the distance and a downward chop. Bet was on, enlisted second roommate to hold the other side of the frame.

Turns out the frame was reinforced with steel. Doh. Hell of a dent though. Sheared the end of the radius on my dominant hand. To this day it hurts when the barometer drops or I write too much.

[pokerdirty]

i should sell these to vonage for their commercials...

[swede123]

I was about ten. Me and my step brother were out riding our bicycles, on these small back roads. I decide to off-road it, and headed straight down into a ditch pretty fast. The grass growing was long enough that I didn't see the large rock that was blocking my path. I ride right into said rock, fly over the handlebars back onto the road. Dislocate my jaw and tear up my cheek, requiring fifteen stitches. Good going.

Swede

[pokerdirty]

[ QUOTE ]
I was about ten. Me and my step brother were out riding our bicycles, on these small back roads. I decide to off-road it, and headed straight down into a ditch pretty fast. The grass growing was long enough that I didn't see the large rock that was blocking my path. I ride right into said rock, fly over the handlebars back onto the road. Dislocate my jaw and tear up my cheek, requiring fifteen stitches. Good going.

Swede

[/ QUOTE ]

I'm going to start grading these. swede, i give you a B-. would have been higher if you would have done this on concrete. no broke bones either.

[touchfaith]

Rode a 10-speed with no brakes down Montebello Road. Picked gravel out of my arm for 3 days.

nuff said.

[pokerdirty]

[ QUOTE ]
Rode a 10-speed with no brakes down Montebello Road. Picked gravel out of my arm for 3 days.

nuff said.

[/ QUOTE ]

C- like swede, only much less worse

[imported_anacardo]

Spring of my junior year in high school, right around the start of spring football practice. I was chattin' up The Girl With the Rack while negotiating a set of cafeteria stairs, and somehow managed to walk off the side. Fell, threw a leg out to catch myself - agony. Planted the other leg - agony. I'd found a way to pull the holy hell out of both sets of quadriceps muscles.

I sheepishly went and told the head coach about it, and his verdict was to "practice through it." Enter three months of agony. Re-injured myself practically every day. Fridays were the best, being the longest possible time before more practice; I spent most weekends laying on the couch, icing my legs. Needless to say I did not test out well that spring, and lost all hope of playing time. I still have scar tissue in my thigh muscles that occasionally comes loose and hurts like a mu'ahfugga. And I never scored with that girl. /images/graemlins/frown.gif

[MEbenhoe]

when i was 5 i thought i could jump a curb on my little huffy. when i hit the curb i happened to be going at a fast enough speed that i flew over the handlebars. there was a lot of blood involved.

edit: also just remembered around the same age i was trying to jump down the stairs, hit only half a stair on one and fell the rest of the way down the stairs and happened to crash my head into a glass vase at the bottom of the stairs, breaking said vase and requiring stitches in my head.

thinking about this i must have really freaked my parents out when i was 5 and i'm not quite sure how i ever made it to 6.

[ QUOTE ]
it hurts when the barometer drops

[/ QUOTE ]

lol. Funny how nobody pays attention to the barometric pressure until it causes them pain.

[Pirc Defense]

Had never ridden a motorcycle, but decided to give my friend's Yamaha 250 dirtbike a try. Last thing I remember before, I'm told, driving straight into said friend's house is, "you need to give it more gas."

Knocked me out cold, and my parents let me sleep it off. LOL. My brother always tells me that while I was in my unconscious stupor, I threw a book at him. I don't remember doing this.

My parents subsequently declined to let me have a motorcycle.

[nothumb]

Well, I kinda did this to myself.

Playing pickup football in 10th grade, I caught a screen pass out in the flat and broke towards the 'sideline.' This was a makeshift field and the sideline was a ditch full of pointy rocks. Pursuing me was a 220 pound end from the actual football team, and he caught me and I landed between him and a big pointy rock. Broke the largest bone in my body (fibia I think it's called - you know, your freakin thigh bone) right above the knee. My knee was so full of blood they initially thought it was an ACL.

Worst thing was I tried to walk it off and go to Chemistry class after lunch, and then the teacher didn't believe me when I said I thought my leg might be broken. I was wearing baggy pants but my knee looked like a bloody volleyball. She finally had the smallest kid in the class help me to the nurse's office, and of course the little bastard dropped me along the way.

NT

[bosoxfan]

When I was about 11 my freind and I had some bottle rockets and some sparklers. We decided we would wrap the sparkler around the stick of the bottle rocket so we could find it.

We poked the stick through a cup and I held it. He lit the sparkler and as he was going to light the bottle rocket. The stick caught on fire and broke. The sparkler fell on my hand stuck there.

I was waving my hand screaming but it wouldn't come off. 3rd degree burns. 20 years later I still have a scar.

[miajag81]

[ QUOTE ]
Broke the largest bone in my body (fibia I think it's called - you know, your freakin thigh bone)

[/ QUOTE ]

Femur. Ow.

When I was about 5 or 6 me and my brother would take turns pushing each other down the stairs in a hamper. We called it the roller coaster ride. Needles to say - hamper hits bottom step, top flies open, jadip flies out, head through window. Mom and Dad weren't too happy about that one.

[pokerdirty]

[ QUOTE ]
Spring of my junior year in high school, right around the start of spring football practice. I was chattin' up The Girl With the Rack while negotiating a set of cafeteria stairs, and somehow managed to walk off the side. Fell, threw a leg out to catch myself - agony. Planted the other leg - agony. I'd found a way to pull the holy hell out of both sets of quadriceps muscles.

I sheepishly went and told the head coach about it, and his verdict was to "practice through it." Enter three months of agony. Re-injured myself practically every day. Fridays were the best, being the longest possible time before more practice; I spent most weekends laying on the couch, icing my legs. Needless to say I did not test out well that spring, and lost all hope of playing time. I still have scar tissue in my thigh muscles that occasionally comes loose and hurts like a mu'ahfugga. And I never scored with that girl. /images/graemlins/frown.gif

[/ QUOTE ]

B+, because you looked like an ass in front of ms tits

[pokerdirty]

[ QUOTE ]
when i was 5 i thought i could jump a curb on my little huffy. when i hit the curb i happened to be going at a fast enough speed that i flew over the handlebars. there was a lot of blood involved.

edit: also just remembered around the same age i was trying to jump down the stairs, hit only half a stair on one and fell the rest of the way down the stairs and happened to crash my head into a glass vase at the bottom of the stairs, breaking said vase and requiring stitches in my head.

thinking about this i must have really freaked my parents out when i was 5 and i'm not quite sure how i ever made it to 6.

[/ QUOTE ]

C+, only because you knew how to ride a bike when you were 5. Over the handlebars happens to everyone growing up.

[pokerdirty]

[ QUOTE ]
Had never ridden a motorcycle, but decided to give my friend's Yamaha 250 dirtbike a try. Last thing I remember before, I'm told, driving straight into said friend's house is, "you need to give it more gas."

Knocked me out cold, and my parents let me sleep it off. LOL. My brother always tells me that while I was in my unconscious stupor, I threw a book at him. I don't remember doing this.

My parents subsequently declined to let me have a motorcycle.

[/ QUOTE ]

A- for effort
D for injuries.

[jakethebake]

When I was a kid, we went camping for a few days. The last morning a bunch of us were running around, and I ran through the campfire. I thought the campfire from the night before was out. It wasn't. It was pretty much still live coals with a thin layer of ash covering them. Burned the hell out of my foot. It hurt like hell but what really pissed me off was that I was a big Texas history buff. My parents had told me we could go to thr Alamo on my way home. We didn't get to because of my foot.

[pokerdirty]

[ QUOTE ]
Well, I kinda did this to myself.

Playing pickup football in 10th grade, I caught a screen pass out in the flat and broke towards the 'sideline.' This was a makeshift field and the sideline was a ditch full of pointy rocks. Pursuing me was a 220 pound end from the actual football team, and he caught me and I landed between him and a big pointy rock. Broke the largest bone in my body (fibia I think it's called - you know, your freakin thigh bone) right above the knee. My knee was so full of blood they initially thought it was an ACL.

Worst thing was I tried to walk it off and go to Chemistry class after lunch, and then the teacher didn't believe me when I said I thought my leg might be broken. I was wearing baggy pants but my knee looked like a bloody volleyball. She finally had the smallest kid in the class help me to the nurse's office, and of course the little bastard dropped me along the way.

NT

[/ QUOTE ]

A

[pokerdirty]

[ QUOTE ]
When I was about 11 my freind and I had some bottle rockets and some sparklers. We decided we would wrap the sparkler around the stick of the bottle rocket so we could find it.

We poked the stick through a cup and I held it. He lit the sparkler and as he was going to light the bottle rocket. The stick caught on fire and broke. The sparkler fell on my hand stuck there.

I was waving my hand screaming but it wouldn't come off. 3rd degree burns. 20 years later I still have a scar.

[/ QUOTE ]

D. That's a pretty weak scar story.

[pokerdirty]

[ QUOTE ]
When I was about 5 or 6 me and my brother would take turns pushing each other down the stairs in a hamper. We called it the roller coaster ride. Needles to say - hamper hits bottom step, top flies open, jadip flies out, head through window. Mom and Dad weren't too happy about that one.

[/ QUOTE ]

C, until I find out injuries.

[HopeydaFish]

When I was about 18 years old my family went to my grandparents' place for Christmas. The rest of my family was at Christmas mass, but I'd stopped going to church, so I was left at home by myself. I was bored and started nosing around my grandfather's woodworking tools. I found a set of scalpes that was used to carve intricate detail into wood. I was messing around with a one of the scalpels, carving my name into a block of wood or something, when I got distracted for some reason and somehow I managed to stab the side of my hand with the scalpel. I cut into the big vein that runs along the side of the hand into the index finger. Blood started spurting out immediately and I ran to the washroom to try to cover it with something to stop the bleeding.

I managed to apply pressure with some paper towel and it slowed down the bleeding, but by then I'd lost *a lot* of blood. I started feeling a little light-headed. However, I decided that I didn't want to tell my parents about what I had done, because a) I didn't want to go to the emergency room on Christmas Eve, and b) My dad would have chewed me out for being so stupid, and would have continued to chew me out for days afterwards about it. I then had to spend the next ten minutes or so cleaning up the trail of blood from the workshop, and the *pool* of blood in the washroom.

I must have damaged a few nerves when I cut into my hand, because for years afterwards my finger would bother me a lot if I used it too much, and still bothers me a little to this day if I type too much on the computer.

[pokerdirty]

[ QUOTE ]
When I was a kid, we went camping for a few days. The last morning a bunch of us were running around, and I ran through the campfire. I thought the campfire from the night before was out. It wasn't. It was pretty much still live coals with a thin layer of ash covering them. Burned the hell out of my foot. It hurt like hell but what really pissed me off was that I was a big Texas history buff. My parents had told me we could go to thr Alamo on my way home. We didn't get to because of my foot.

[/ QUOTE ]

C-, because i'm assuming you can still walk.

[LetYouDown]

Had a Huffy Bike that I had ripped the rubber off the handle bars on the ends. I was riding on the sidewalk and this girl was in front of me and slowed down to be an ass. There wasn't much room to manuever, but I went around her on the grass. This apparently freaked her out and she guessed wrong as to which side I was passing on. Our tires meet, mine decides to lock up, my handle bar turns sideways, and enters my chest cavity as I go flying forward. I didn't fall, I just slid forward really hard and the damn thing went into me. I had to carry the bike (still in my chest) to my friend's house because his mom was a nurse and my parents weren't home. Still have a white, circular scar just below my ribcage.

[pokerdirty]

[ QUOTE ]
When I was about 18 years old my family went to my grandparents' place for Christmas. The rest of my family was at Christmas mass, but I'd stopped going to church, so I was left at home by myself. I was bored and started nosing around my grandfather's woodworking tools. I found a set of scalpes that was used to carve intricate detail into wood. I was messing around with a one of the scalpels, carving my name into a block of wood or something, when I got distracted for some reason and somehow I managed to stab the side of my hand with the scalpel. I cut into the big vein that runs along the side of the hand into the index finger. Blood started spurting out immediately and I ran to the washroom to try to cover it with something to stop the bleeding.

I managed to apply pressure with some paper towel and it slowed down the bleeding, but by then I'd lost *a lot* of blood. I started feeling a little light-headed. However, I decided that I didn't want to tell my parents about what I had done, because a) I didn't want to go to the emergency room on Christmas Eve, and b) My dad would have chewed me out for being so stupid, and would have continued to chew me out for days afterwards about it. I then had to spend the next ten minutes or so cleaning up the trail of blood from the workshop, and the *pool* of blood in the washroom.

I must have damaged a few nerves when I cut into my hand, because for years afterwards my finger would bother me a lot if I used it too much, and still bothers me a little to this day if I type too much on the computer.

[/ QUOTE ]

B, because major blood loss is a +

haha, you're title should be 'tool'

[pokerdirty]

[ QUOTE ]
Had a Huffy Bike that I had ripped the rubber off the handle bars on the ends. I was riding on the sidewalk and this girl was in front of me and slowed down to be an ass. There wasn't much room to manuever, but I went around her on the grass. This apparently freaked her out and she guessed wrong as to which side I was passing on. Our tires meet, mine decides to lock up, my handle bar turns sideways, and enters my chest cavity as I go flying forward. I didn't fall, I just slid forward really hard and the damn thing went into me. I had to carry the bike (still in my chest) to my friend's house because his mom was a nurse and my parents weren't home. Still have a white, circular scar just below my ribcage.

[/ QUOTE ]

B, because the girl pwned you.

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
When I was about 5 or 6 me and my brother would take turns pushing each other down the stairs in a hamper. We called it the roller coaster ride. Needles to say - hamper hits bottom step, top flies open, jadip flies out, head through window. Mom and Dad weren't too happy about that one.

[/ QUOTE ]

C, until I find out injuries.

[/ QUOTE ]

Had a nice cut on the side of my head and a piece of glass sticking out of my scalp. It was pretty gross...had some of my hair stuck to it when my dad pulled it out. No stitches though, believe it or not.

[bosoxfan]

you said dumb things not and that was pretty dumb.

[pokerdirty]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
When I was about 5 or 6 me and my brother would take turns pushing each other down the stairs in a hamper. We called it the roller coaster ride. Needles to say - hamper hits bottom step, top flies open, jadip flies out, head through window. Mom and Dad weren't too happy about that one.

[/ QUOTE ]

C, until I find out injuries.

[/ QUOTE ]

Had a nice cut on the side of my head and a piece of glass sticking out of my scalp. It was pretty gross...had some of my hair stuck to it when my dad pulled it out. No stitches though, believe it or not.

[/ QUOTE ]

then it remains a C

[pokerdirty]

[ QUOTE ]
you said dumb things not and that was pretty dumb.

[/ QUOTE ]

in english, please

[bravos1]

These 2 happened about 3-4 months apart. One is mine, another is a friend's.

11 years old and me and 2 other friends are riding our BMX bikes. Another friend used to live on a corner lot and his father cut down a tree about a year earlier because it was blocking the view of the intersection and there were quite a few accidents there. He never got around to removing the stump and it made a perfect ramp which we used to jump often. One person would stand in the intersection looking out for cars and would signal when it was clear. After every jump (we were probably jumping around 15 ft or so), you'd have to stop pretty quickly or you would ride into this one guys yard and he would throw crap at us or just chase us off. So one day I'm signalling my friend to go. He comes down the road and hits the jump. About 6-8ft. in, his right hand and handlebar hit the stopsign on the corner breaking his hand. He then hits the ground crooked and with only one hand on the bars and the wheel turns and he breaks his jaw on the handlebar this time when his face smashes into it. He then flips off of his bike rolls a few times (can you say road rash) and then hits his head on a rock which lacerates his scalp. Pretty nasty, and it seemed like it was in slow motion even to me as a spectator.

Fastforward a few months. My same friend just got a new 12 speed for his b-day and we were out riding by his house. I snapped the chain on my bike and asked him to give me a ride home as I did not want to walk my bike. So I jump in the back putting my feet on the nuts/bolts of the rear wheel. We get about half way to my house before I slip off with my right leg and my back leg instantly hits the tire and the backside of my leg behind the knee just gets chewed up by the tire as I try to keep up with the moving bike by hopping on my right leg. That didn't work to well, and the friction of my leg against the tire and the frame stopped the bike before my friend really even hit the brakes. It sucked so bad! Everyday, I would end up ripping the scabs to hell walking and it would bleed and bleed. Took longer to completely heal than any of my other injuries (broken bones, torn ACL x 2, etc.).

My vote would be for my friend though as it was no doubt painful as hell, but also pure comedy.

[B Dids]

I'm like 13 or something. Babysitting a neighbor kid. I've got one of those kousch balls (weird thing made up of a mass of rubber bands grouped at the center) and I'm pretending to dunk it on this doorway. I don't notice that there's a nail that must have been used to hang something from in the past, and drive it backwards into my hand with authority.

[JTrout]

[ QUOTE ]
Mowing grass, the stupid lawn mower kept getting clogged, and it was a pain in the ass to restart, so after the 10238901239th time, I decided to just pull out the clump w/o turning off the mower.

All I could feel was a sting on my middle finger, which I immediately grabbed with my other hand. Blood was runnign out from between my fingers, but I couldnt really tell if I still had all of my middle finger or not, and I was scared to look for a couple minutes. Ended up that I just sliced a little piece from my fingertip that got sewed back on, but was pretty scary clutching my hand & not being sure if I was horribly disfigured or not.

jvs

[/ QUOTE ]


I did the EXACT same thing when I was 12. Clipped my left ring finger.
There was no pain, just shock/fright. Almost fainted, running around in a pannic! /images/graemlins/blush.gif

The pain came at the hospital when they put the needle in the already throbbing finger. Took a bunch of them to hold me down. Seven stitches later, I'm on my way home, floating on cloud nine.

The next few days I discovered the glorious benefit of codine.

Honorable mention:
Chasing girl around dept. store when I was 6. Busted my head on the corner of a display. Many stitches.
Playing tag at school, age 8, busted head on brick wall corner. Many stitches.
Age 9, caught 2by4 with my head while building tree house, 20 stitches.
Age 10, hit head on bumper of car diving for football. Concussion. Fracture. 2 day hospital stay.
Age 11, thought a long stick I found in the creek would make a good pole for vaulting. Sliced hand, 8 stitches.
Age 16, running from cops on Halloween night through forrest. Staying low, dodging branches. Head first into a barbed wire fence. 30 stitches.
Good times! /images/graemlins/laugh.gif /images/graemlins/tongue.gif /images/graemlins/confused.gif

[fyodor]

Most of these stories involve teenage idiocy which is easily forgivable. My story happened when I was almost 40 years old.

I was at a large party thrown by a computer distributor. Over 1000 people there including a lot of my own customers. Food and drink was free. I consumed too much of the drink.

It's late, there is a band on stage and about 10 semi-hot girls show up all at once and stand together over to the side. I figure someone paid them to come but as no one is taking charge of the situation I do it myself.

I bring over a bunch of my customers and start pairing them off with the girls to go dance. One of the customers objects - comes up with some lame excuse like he's married or something. I say fk it, I'll dance with her myself.

So I drag her right up on the stage in front of the band and about 1000 people and we dance away (I'm white so this wasn't pretty). At the end of the song I jump off the stage.

Stage is about 4 feet high and floor is cement. I was too drunk to land properly and hit and fell. I was completely embarrassed about the fall so I leaped to my feet and realized I couldn't stand on either foot. I threw one in front of the other until I got to my chair.

My friend had to drag me out on the chair and take me home. When we got to my house there were 2 girls passing by. I convinced them I couldn't walk and the 2 of them helped me into the house while my friend drove away.

At the front door I called to my girlfriend that I couldn't walk (and told the 2 helping me they better vanish at this point) Girlfriend calls out from the bedroom, "you can't walk because you're drunk!"

I reply that yes I am drunk but that's not the reason.

When my friend came to pick me up for work in the morning I still couldn't walk so he took me to the hospital where I found out I had one fractured ankle and one sprained one.

The sprain was so bad they wanted to cast them both but I convinced them to just do the fractured one.

[rohjoh]

I have two, first one was last year, and I decided to show my sons some tricks on the skateboard. I took an intertube, and wrapped it around the skateboard so that I could jump over things while riding the skateboard. I decided that I could jump over a trash can on its side. I cleared the trash can, but hit a rock on the asphalt which caused me to faceplant, and break my wrist. Pretty stupid thing to teach your kids....

Second one was in 7th grade we had a hill called Cliff Drive. Biggest hill in town, and I was riding my bike down the hill after school, and decided it would look cool if I put my feet on the front forks. My foot slipped and got caught in the spokes at 35MPH+, and flipped me over the handle bars. Results were broken foot, two boken wrist, and road rash on 50% of my body, including my face.

[pokerdirty]

[ QUOTE ]
These 2 happened about 3-4 months apart. One is mine, another is a friend's.

11 years old and me and 2 other friends are riding our BMX bikes. Another friend used to live on a corner lot and his father cut down a tree about a year earlier because it was blocking the view of the intersection and there were quite a few accidents there. He never got around to removing the stump and it made a perfect ramp which we used to jump often. One person would stand in the intersection looking out for cars and would signal when it was clear. After every jump (we were probably jumping around 15 ft or so), you'd have to stop pretty quickly or you would ride into this one guys yard and he would throw crap at us or just chase us off. So one day I'm signalling my friend to go. He comes down the road and hits the jump. About 6-8ft. in, his right hand and handlebar hit the stopsign on the corner breaking his hand. He then hits the ground crooked and with only one hand on the bars and the wheel turns and he breaks his jaw on the handlebar this time when his face smashes into it. He then flips off of his bike rolls a few times (can you say road rash) and then hits his head on a rock which lacerates his scalp. Pretty nasty, and it seemed like it was in slow motion even to me as a spectator.

[/ QUOTE ]

A+

[ QUOTE ]


Fastforward a few months. My same friend just got a new 12 speed for his b-day and we were out riding by his house. I snapped the chain on my bike and asked him to give me a ride home as I did not want to walk my bike. So I jump in the back putting my feet on the nuts/bolts of the rear wheel. We get about half way to my house before I slip off with my right leg and my back leg instantly hits the tire and the backside of my leg behind the knee just gets chewed up by the tire as I try to keep up with the moving bike by hopping on my right leg. That didn't work to well, and the friction of my leg against the tire and the frame stopped the bike before my friend really even hit the brakes. It sucked so bad! Everyday, I would end up ripping the scabs to hell walking and it would bleed and bleed. Took longer to completely heal than any of my other injuries (broken bones, torn ACL x 2, etc.).

[/ QUOTE ]

D. you should have just stuck with the first story, and called it your own.

[pokerdirty]

[ QUOTE ]
I'm like 13 or something. Babysitting a neighbor kid. I've got one of those kousch balls (weird thing made up of a mass of rubber bands grouped at the center) and I'm pretending to dunk it on this doorway. I don't notice that there's a nail that must have been used to hang something from in the past, and drive it backwards into my hand with authority.

[/ QUOTE ]

B-, B+ if it went all the way through.

[JTrout]

[ QUOTE ]
I was completely embarrassed about the fall so I leaped to my feet and realized I couldn't stand on either foot. I threw one in front of the other until I got to my chair.

[/ QUOTE ]

I laughed at your pain! /images/graemlins/laugh.gif

[pokerdirty]

[ QUOTE ]



I did the EXACT same thing when I was 12. Clipped my left ring finger.
There was no pain, just shock/fright. Almost fainted, running around in a pannic! /images/graemlins/blush.gif

The pain came at the hospital when they put the needle in the already throbbing finger. Took a bunch of them to hold me down. Seven stitches later, I'm on my way home, floating on cloud nine.

The next few days I discovered the glorious benefit of codine.

[/ QUOTE ]

C

[ QUOTE ]


Honorable mention:
Chasing girl around dept. store when I was 6. Busted my head on the corner of a display. Many stitches.
Playing tag at school, age 8, busted head on brick wall corner. Many stitches.
Age 9, caught 2by4 with my head while building tree house, 20 stitches.
Age 10, hit head on bumper of car diving for football. Concussion. Fracture. 2 day hospital stay.
Age 11, thought a long stick I found in the creek would make a good pole for vaulting. Sliced hand, 8 stitches.
Age 16, running from cops on Halloween night through forrest. Staying low, dodging branches. Head first into a barbed wire fence. 30 stitches.
Good times! /images/graemlins/laugh.gif /images/graemlins/tongue.gif /images/graemlins/confused.gif

[/ QUOTE ]

C-,C-,B,A-,C,

F for the last one. Why are you trick-or-treating at 16? Dick.

[pokerdirty]

[ QUOTE ]
Most of these stories involve teenage idiocy which is easily forgivable. My story happened when I was almost 40 years old.

I was at a large party thrown by a computer distributor. Over 1000 people there including a lot of my own customers. Food and drink was free. I consumed too much of the drink.

It's late, there is a band on stage and about 10 semi-hot girls show up all at once and stand together over to the side. I figure someone paid them to come but as no one is taking charge of the situation I do it myself.

I bring over a bunch of my customers and start pairing them off with the girls to go dance. One of the customers objects - comes up with some lame excuse like he's married or something. I say fk it, I'll dance with her myself.

So I drag her right up on the stage in front of the band and about 1000 people and we dance away (I'm white so this wasn't pretty). At the end of the song I jump off the stage.

Stage is about 4 feet high and floor is cement. I was too drunk to land properly and hit and fell. I was completely embarrassed about the fall so I leaped to my feet and realized I couldn't stand on either foot. I threw one in front of the other until I got to my chair.

My friend had to drag me out on the chair and take me home. When we got to my house there were 2 girls passing by. I convinced them I couldn't walk and the 2 of them helped me into the house while my friend drove away.

At the front door I called to my girlfriend that I couldn't walk (and told the 2 helping me they better vanish at this point) Girlfriend calls out from the bedroom, "you can't walk because you're drunk!"

I reply that yes I am drunk but that's not the reason.

When my friend came to pick me up for work in the morning I still couldn't walk so he took me to the hospital where I found out I had one fractured ankle and one sprained one.

The sprain was so bad they wanted to cast them both but I convinced them to just do the fractured one.

[/ QUOTE ]

A-/B+

because you are old /images/graemlins/smile.gif

[pokerdirty]

[ QUOTE ]
I have two, first one was last year, and I decided to show my sons some tricks on the skateboard. I took an intertube, and wrapped it around the skateboard so that I could jump over things while riding the skateboard. I decided that I could jump over a trash can on its side. I cleared the trash can, but hit a rock on the asphalt which caused me to faceplant, and break my wrist. Pretty stupid thing to teach your kids....

[/ QUOTE ]

B, dumbass.

[ QUOTE ]


Second one was in 7th grade we had a hill called Cliff Drive. Biggest hill in town, and I was riding my bike down the hill after school, and decided it would look cool if I put my feet on the front forks. My foot slipped and got caught in the spokes at 35MPH+, and flipped me over the handle bars. Results were broken foot, two boken wrist, and road rash on 50% of my body, including my face.

[/ QUOTE ]

A, multiple broken bones are good

[WackityWhiz]

Like others, I didn't do this intentionally but I could've avoided it.

I was in 5th grade music class and we were just coming back to our seats from a little game we played at the front of the room. Well, a bastard kid who sat beside me decided to hold a freshly sharpened pencil on my chair so I would sit down on it. I should've looked before I sat down I guess because it went straight through my mesh basketball shorts I was wearing. Lucky for me I didn't sit down directly in the middle because that would've involved extensive surgery I believe. The pencil went 3 1/2 inches through my ass cheek, about 1/2 inch away from my brown eye and a few centimeters away from my colon. It remarkably did not hurt at all. So what's a kid to do? I just stand up and leave the class... don't tell my teacher or nothing. I walk into the nurses office and tell her that I sat on a pencil. I'm not sure what her reaction was because I was pretty flustered. I was sweating a lot and she gave me the option of riding in the backseat of my grandma's car or taking an ambulance to the hospital. I chose grandma. So two of the bigger male teachers come and lift me into the backseat so I can lay on my stomach. We get to the hospital and they do some x-rays and crap. I get a few shots in my ass, one that sent terrible pains down my entire right leg, i'm thinking a tetnis shot. Well about 4 doctors huddle around and they start to pull. The pencil didn't come out easy, it was lodged in the bone. When it did start to come out, it hurt really really really bad. Somehow the pencil did not break.

So I went through school being called 'pencil ass' til about 10th grade. I'm not sure if any of you remember this super bowl commercial, but it involved a guy throwing a pencil through his office ceiling and impailing his boss in the ass. My phone rang for about 10 mins after that, with people calling me to remind me of that horrific day

[pokerdirty]

[ QUOTE ]
Like others, I didn't do this intentionally but I could've avoided it.

I was in 5th grade music class and we were just coming back to our seats from a little game we played at the front of the room. Well, a bastard kid who sat beside me decided to hold a freshly sharpened pencil on my chair so I would sit down on it. I should've looked before I sat down I guess because it went straight through my mesh basketball shorts I was wearing. Lucky for me I didn't sit down directly in the middle because that would've involved extensive surgery I believe. The pencil went 3 1/2 inches through my ass cheek, about 1/2 inch away from my brown eye and a few centimeters away from my colon. It remarkably did not hurt at all. So what's a kid to do? I just stand up and leave the class... don't tell my teacher or nothing. I walk into the nurses office and tell her that I sat on a pencil. I'm not sure what her reaction was because I was pretty flustered. I was sweating a lot and she gave me the option of riding in the backseat of my grandma's car or taking an ambulance to the hospital. I chose grandma. So two of the bigger male teachers come and lift me into the backseat so I can lay on my stomach. We get to the hospital and they do some x-rays and crap. I get a few shots in my ass, one that sent terrible pains down my entire right leg, i'm thinking a tetnis shot. Well about 4 doctors huddle around and they start to pull. The pencil didn't come out easy, it was lodged in the bone. When it did start to come out, it hurt really really really bad. Somehow the pencil did not break.

So I went through school being called 'pencil ass' til about 10th grade. I'm not sure if any of you remember this super bowl commercial, but it involved a guy throwing a pencil through his office ceiling and impailing his boss in the ass. My phone rang for about 10 mins after that, with people calling me to remind me of that horrific day

[/ QUOTE ]

A+, gives new meaning to SIIHP /images/graemlins/grin.gif

[Dex]

[ QUOTE ]
Like others, I didn't do this intentionally but I could've avoided it.

I was in 5th grade music class and we were just coming back to our seats from a little game we played at the front of the room. Well, a bastard kid who sat beside me decided to hold a freshly sharpened pencil on my chair so I would sit down on it. I should've looked before I sat down I guess because it went straight through my mesh basketball shorts I was wearing. Lucky for me I didn't sit down directly in the middle because that would've involved extensive surgery I believe. The pencil went 3 1/2 inches through my ass cheek, about 1/2 inch away from my brown eye and a few centimeters away from my colon. It remarkably did not hurt at all. So what's a kid to do? I just stand up and leave the class... don't tell my teacher or nothing. I walk into the nurses office and tell her that I sat on a pencil. I'm not sure what her reaction was because I was pretty flustered. I was sweating a lot and she gave me the option of riding in the backseat of my grandma's car or taking an ambulance to the hospital. I chose grandma. So two of the bigger male teachers come and lift me into the backseat so I can lay on my stomach. We get to the hospital and they do some x-rays and crap. I get a few shots in my ass, one that sent terrible pains down my entire right leg, i'm thinking a tetnis shot. Well about 4 doctors huddle around and they start to pull. The pencil didn't come out easy, it was lodged in the bone. When it did start to come out, it hurt really really really bad. Somehow the pencil did not break.

So I went through school being called 'pencil ass' til about 10th grade. I'm not sure if any of you remember this super bowl commercial, but it involved a guy throwing a pencil through his office ceiling and impailing his boss in the ass. My phone rang for about 10 mins after that, with people calling me to remind me of that horrific day

[/ QUOTE ]

One of the mods seriously needs to change your title to Pencil Ass.

[kurosh]

Pissed off my little brother. He's 4 years younger than me. I'd guess I was around 12. We only had one computer and I needed to do homework for class. I told him to get off, but he wouldn't. I got sick of his [censored] so I just turned it off while he was playing a game. Big mistake. He goes completely apeshit, screaming something about goblins, picks up a wooden stool and starts spinning it around. I hide in the corner in fetal position. Everything goes black for a second after a huge CRACK. He threw the [censored] stool at my head. I get up, see the broken stool, touch my head, notice my hand completely covered with blood and then proceed to join him in screaming.

[pokerdirty]

[ QUOTE ]
Pissed off my little brother. He's 4 years younger than me. I'd guess I was around 12. We only had one computer and I needed to do homework for class. I told him to get off, but he wouldn't. I got sick of his [censored] so I just turned it off while he was playing a game. Big mistake. He goes completely apeshit, screaming something about goblins, picks up a wooden stool and starts spinning it around. I hide in the corner in fetal position. Everything goes black for a second after a huge CRACK. He threw the [censored] stool at my head. I get up, see the broken stool, touch my head, notice my hand completely covered with blood and then proceed to join him in screaming.

[/ QUOTE ]

pwned by a 8 year old. C

[JaBlue]

I tried and failed to put a bunson burner out with my finger in highschool chemistry. Didn't get that injured, really, but it hurt like a mother.

Also was playing tag about age 8. "It" is chasing me so I run up a hill. The hill goes up to a point where it is about 10 feet above the ground - just low enough for me to jump off and escape "it." I jump, not noticing that the hill is lined with huge rocks. I trip on the rock, go horizontal, and land flat on my chin. Earned me quite a few stitches. They called my mom, who is a doctor, to come pick me up, and I said "NO! I WANT DADDY!!!!"

[pokerdirty]

[ QUOTE ]
I tried and failed to put a bunson burner out with my finger in highschool chemistry. Didn't get that injured, really, but it hurt like a mother.

[/ QUOTE ]

F

[ QUOTE ]

Also was playing tag about age 8. "It" is chasing me so I run up a hill. The hill goes up to a point where it is about 10 feet above the ground - just low enough for me to jump off and escape "it." I jump, not noticing that the hill is lined with huge rocks. I trip on the rock, go horizontal, and land flat on my chin. Earned me quite a few stitches. They called my mom, who is a doctor, to come pick me up, and I said "NO! I WANT DADDY!!!!"

[/ QUOTE ]

C-

C'mon dude, you can't follow up Pencil Ass with that!

[ddubois]

I have never done anything dumb that involved injury to myself. (Unless you count a bar fight, which I do not.) I have also never broken a bone.

[kurosh]

[ QUOTE ]
I have never done anything dumb that involved injury to myself. (Unless you count a bar fight, which I do not.) I have also never broken a bone.

[/ QUOTE ]Thank you for your contribution.

[ddubois]

Do you really have no legs?

[pokerdirty]

[ QUOTE ]
I have never done anything dumb that involved injury to myself. (Unless you count a bar fight, which I do not.) I have also never broken a bone.

[/ QUOTE ]

This just means you suck at life.

[ddubois]

[ QUOTE ]
This just means you suck at life.

[/ QUOTE ]
Perhaps. Or that all of you do. /images/graemlins/wink.gif

[pokerdirty]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[This just means you suck at life.

[/ QUOTE ]
Perhaps. Or that all of you do.

[/ QUOTE ]

Drive your car off a 500 ft cliff. See if you survive. If you do, I'm sure it will be one hell of a story. If you don't, oh well. Win-win situation.

[Sephus]

when i was 12 i built a very elaborate tree fort (three levels) with wood i stole from the worksites of a subdivision going up next to ours.

on the bottom level (a piece of plywood about 10 by 5) my friends and i killed time by pounding nails into the floor (like maybe 1 nail for every square inch).

it turned out that the tree i used was technically on the property owned by the devolopers (i still doubt this was true, it was really in our back yard) and, thinking they might get sued if i died or something, they came and tore it all down.

the bottom level with the nails in it was framed by 2x6s, i think, so when it was upside down it looked like a bed of nails with walls around it.

my friend was helping me carry this thing (him backwards, me forward) to throw it into a trash pile in the woods when he was stung by some kind of insect, causing him to drop his end. his sudden stop caused the board to bump into him and stop, which caused my shins to hit the six inch wall on my side and stop as well. (we were carrying it pretty low to the ground for some reason).

of course, there was nothing to stop my upper body, so i tripped and fell, hands first. there was no nailless place to land, so about ten rusty nails went into my hands, bearing the full force of my falling body. two of the nails went all the way through my hands and out the other side.

oddly enough, it left no noticable scars.

[WackityWhiz]

[ QUOTE ]
when i was 12 i built a very elaborate tree fort (three levels) with wood i stole from the worksites of a subdivision going up next to ours.

on the bottom level (a piece of plywood about 10 by 5) my friends and i killed time by pounding nails into the floor (like maybe 1 nail for every square inch).

it turned out that the tree i used was technically on the property owned by the devolopers (i still doubt this was true, it was really in our back yard) and, thinking they might get sued if i died or something, they came and tore it all down.

the bottom level with the nails in it was framed by 2x6s, i think, so when it was upside down it looked like a bed of nails with walls around it.

my friend was helping me carry this thing (him backwards, me forward) to throw it into a trash pile in the woods when he was stung by some kind of insect, causing him to drop his end. his sudden stop caused the board to bump into him and stop, which caused my shins to hit the six inch wall on my side and stop as well. (we were carrying it pretty low to the ground for some reason).

of course, there was nothing to stop my upper body, so i tripped and fell, hands first. there was no nailless place to land, so about ten rusty nails went into my hands, bearing the full force of my falling body. two of the nails went all the way through my hands and out the other side.

oddly enough, it left no noticable scars.

[/ QUOTE ]

wow, that is a ruthless story

[uw_madtown]

I'm guessing that my "stupid injury story" wins for most serious injury, and may be a frontrunner for studity. I wasn't going to post it because I'm pretty sure it makes people significantly lower their opinion of me, but jason_t begged and pleaded, so here it is.

Winter of my junior year in high school. February of 2000. I lived in SW Wisconsin, a largely rural area. We'd just gotten a large snowstorm and it had drifted quite a bit in the country. What are stupid high schoolers to do when there's several feet of snow on the ground?

Head to a buddy's place in the country and screw around, that's what. So we get out there, play some video games, whatever, and eventually decide we should go outside and do some wrestling moves (we'd all brought heavy winter stuff with us, since it was inevitably going to end up in an outside snow brawl). For the most part it was harmless stuff in the deeper snow areas. This is back when wrestling's popularity was still in recent memory, and Wrestlemania 2000 on the N64 was the hot video game amongst our friends -- so we had plenty of moves at our disposal. I forget some of the names now, but there were plenty of them, and landing in the snow didn't hurt at all.

So, like the stupid people all high schoolers are, we kept doing bigger and bigger moves.

I neglected to mention that about twenty or thirty feet from my friend's house, he had a little cement pumphouse thing that was about 10 feet tall -- perfect height for something off the top ropes...

After one of my friends taking a frogsplash, it was decided that we should do what I later found out is called a "Doomsday Device" -- I got on the shoulders of my 6' 6" friend, and one of our other buddies got on the pumphouse thing, and he leapt off clotheslining me to the ground. In theory, anyway. The first time, it was pretty lame. Basically, we just fell backwards and he lightly tapped my chest. Another one of my friends claimed he could do it much better. So we did it a second time (!).

The second time, the second guy got me hard enough so that I actually twisted back. My head and neck planted in the ground facing up (as though I'd fallen straight backwards), but my body and legs had so much momentum that they continued, and flipped behind as though I'd landed face down. Yes, this essentially put me face to face with my own chest.

Know that feeling you get when you knock your funny bone? It was that feeling, times 10, everywhere in my body the instant I hit. I got up, although I was more "yanked" up by the guy who's shoulders I was on (and who's house it was -- he's also been my best friend since about 4th grade). I was a bit dazed but shrugged it off and they continued wrestling while I tried to figure out just what the [censored] had just happened. Eventually I went inside and took some aspirin, put an ice pack on it, and laid down a bit while they played video games.

After about 10-15 minutes, the electric funny-bone feeling had gone away... except from my elbows down, and whenever I'd touch two of my fingers together, it'd be like a shock running down the length of my arm. This was not good.

A trip to the local hospital yielded nothing. Just muscle trauma, probably a stinger -- take some relaxants and a soft neck brace, try to stretch it from time to time, you'll be fine

A day later, we get a call saying they'd misread the x-ray (another hospital caught it) and that I should get to Madison right away. Turns out that I'd torn ligaments and tendons holding my C4 and C5 in place. Normally vertebrae slip over one another -- the bottom slips under the middle slips under the top. Tendons and ligaments hold them in place, so they don't slide right into your spinal cord. Well, I'd completely dislodged my C5 vertebrae -- it had slipped out from under the C4 and jammed back up against it, according to the x-ray taken the night before. Sometime since (probably in all the stretching as per my local doctor's advisement) I'd dislodged it. But now I was in serious danger, as simply by moving my neck I was in danger of having a vertebrae rub against my spinal cord.

A month in a hard neck brace was prescribed, hoping that immobilization might allow things to heal naturally. It didn't, and after a few MRIs, I was almost scheduled for a procedure whose name escapes me, but it involved a "halo" apparatus that you've probably seen in movies -- I'd have pins screwed into my skull, my neck stretched, and then slowly released so things would align back into place. But the MRIs showed that even that was unlikely to fix the problem.

And that's how I had two vertebrae fused at 17. My neck was in a hard brace for 6 months, which causes all sorts of problems that you wouldn't imagine. Lots of vicodin and percosette. Left with a scar about 3-4 inches long and between half an inch to an inch wide on my neck, and a smaller one on the back of my hip where they got the bone to fuse the vertebrae. Not only was I lucky to be alive and not paralyzed by the fall itself, but the doctor informed me that just the fusion surgery alone could have paralyzed me (note to doctor: don't tell patients this right before they're wheeled into the operating room).

[Benal]

High school, grade 11 English class. I sat at the very back of the classroom, directly beside a big window. This window was usually open, and I had a stupid habit of sticking my head outside to look around, spit, whatever. Teacher never said anything. So one day, normal routine, I stick my head out the window a few times during class. I leave to take a piss, come back to class, proceed to stick my head out the window, and CRASH!!!!! My head, through the window!! Damn idiot sitting beside me decided to close the window during my piss break. Luckily I had no injuries, my head hurt a little, but that's about it. The school actually made me pay for the window too.

[RRRRICK]

Playing soccer after scoring a goal I decided to celebrate by doing an Elvis impersonation. Whilst rotating my right arm in a wide stance I felt two snaps in my right knee which sent me crashing to the ground in pain. This happened right about the time my team mates arrived to join in the celebrations.

So they're all piling on top of me. Once they worked out something was wrong they carrried me off.

Ruptured two ligaments and missed the rest of the season.

[Monty]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Well, I kinda did this to myself.

Playing pickup football in 10th grade, I caught a screen pass out in the flat and broke towards the 'sideline.' This was a makeshift field and the sideline was a ditch full of pointy rocks. Pursuing me was a 220 pound end from the actual football team, and he caught me and I landed between him and a big pointy rock. Broke the largest bone in my body (fibia I think it's called - you know, your freakin thigh bone) right above the knee. My knee was so full of blood they initially thought it was an ACL.

Worst thing was I tried to walk it off and go to Chemistry class after lunch, and then the teacher didn't believe me when I said I thought my leg might be broken. I was wearing baggy pants but my knee looked like a bloody volleyball. She finally had the smallest kid in the class help me to the nurse's office, and of course the little bastard dropped me along the way.

NT

[/ QUOTE ]

A

[/ QUOTE ]
A? Why is this dumb?

[M2d]

about 5 years old. fishing in hawaii. I was looking into a tide pool and saw a shrimp dart into a hole, so i decided to catch it for bait. I stuck my index finger into the hole to chase it out, not knowing that a moray eel was also in that hole.
moray eels have long, needle-like teeth that are built for chomping and holding. they also have jaws that can lock shut.

the eel decided that my finger looked tasty so it chomped my finger. had I just stayed there, it would have realized I wasn't food and let go after a few seconds. I panicked and pulled away.

[Sephus]

[ QUOTE ]
High school, grade 11 English class. I sat at the very back of the classroom, directly beside a big window. This window was usually open, and I had a stupid habit of sticking my head outside to look around, spit, whatever. Teacher never said anything. So one day, normal routine, I stick my head out the window a few times during class. I leave to take a piss, come back to class, proceed to stick my head out the window, and CRASH!!!!! My head, through the window!! Damn idiot sitting beside me decided to close the window during my piss break. Luckily I had no injuries, my head hurt a little, but that's about it. The school actually made me pay for the window too.

[/ QUOTE ]

back then they made windows out of rock candy?

[SL__72]

Yep, you definately win.

Mine isn't nearly as bad as some of these, but is a bit different although probably not all that uncommon.

At my grandparents cabin, 8 or 9 years old. I wanted to go swimming and no one was going with me (except my dad who was going down to the lake to read). I was in the water and my little brother came down for some reason. To induce him to get in I splashed him. He was unhappy with this and threw a full handfull of wet sand at me and hit me squarely in the face. I went underwater to try and wash out my eyes. After a bit I came up for a breath and to yell at him and got struck in the face with another handful of sand the INSTANT I opened my eyes. Because I had no time to react a ton of it got in my eyes. It took me over an hour to get it all out through blinking/blowing my nose/ crying etc. I guess I didn't get "injured," but it was a far worse experience then breaking my ankle, any of the times I've sprained my ankle(s) or the time I stepped on a wasp nest... and that is all I have to compare it to.

[RiverFenix]

Im 11ish and in love with street hockey im always the goalie since i had all the equipment. My friends and i played at my friends house which was a 5 min bike ride from my house. Im headed over to his house to play and to get all my gear over there i strap most of it on. Anyway, im riding with leg pads, a mask,blocker, glove, goalie stick, & rollerblades tied together and strung
around my neck. I hit a bump in the road while not paying attention, the
stick gets jammed in the spokes, i fly over the handlebars and land squarely on my chin. To add embrassement to the story, an older girl in my neighborhood (who was hooot) and her mom were the first to drive by and see me. They help me walk myself home, and tell the bbsitter (also hot) just how stupid I was. I had stiches in my chin for a few weeks and could only eat soups & waterice for a week or so, luckily my jaw didnt have to get wired shut. My chin is slightly lobsided today from the sutures /images/graemlins/frown.gif

[HopeydaFish]

Here's a SIIMP story...

When I was about 10 or 11 years old I was walking home from school. It was the middle of winter and there'd been freezing rain recently and the roads were covered in ice. I was chatting with a friend of mine as I was walking home, and I was walking backwards so that I'd face him as I'm talking. Suddenly I tripped over a chunk of ice that was sitting on the road, and landed square on my tailbone on *another* chunk of ice -- this one much more pointy. The pain was excruciating. My idiot "friend" just laughed at me and walked home. I managed to hobble home on my own.

Later than night, the pain had gotten to be intolerable. I was getting desperate, so I started looking through the medicine cabinet for something to help the pain. I see some "Absorbine Jr." and see on the label that it "Reduces aches and pains". I figured this was the stuff for me.

In my infinite wisdom I decide to rub some of this onto my tailbone. For those of you who don't know, Absorbine Jr. is a liquid that comes in a soft plastic bottle that has a sponge-like applicator. You rub the sponge on the affected muscle while applying pressure and squeezing the bottle, and the liquid is released onto your skin. Absorbine Jr. is basically pure rubbing alcohol -- if you apply it to an open wound, or get any near your eyes, it stings like hell.

Anyway, I twist my arm around my body, place the bottle next to my tailbone, squeeze the bottle and press down *way too hard* on the applicator. The liquid comes gushing out of the bottle, runs over my tailbone, runs between my ass cheeks, and goes directly into my pooper. It felt like somebody had taken a red hot poker, shoved it in my ass, and then twisted it. Only worse.

I was trying not to scream in pain in the washroom, because I didn't want my parents to force their way in and find me standing there naked, tears running down my cheeks, with Absorbine Jr. in my bum.

I finally got the pain to subside a little by getting up on the bathroom counter, lying face down over the sink with my butt facing the tap. I turned the tap on and gave myself an enema until the pain subsided.

Since that day, my pooper has been strictly an "exit only" orifice.

[Benal]

[ QUOTE ]
I finally got the pain to subside a little by getting up on the bathroom counter, lying face down over the sink with my butt facing the tap. I turned the tap on and gave myself an enema until the pain subsided.

[/ QUOTE ]

The mental image I just had is one I wish to never have again!

[jcmack13]

[ QUOTE ]

I've broken every one of my fingers multiple times...

[/ QUOTE ]

[ QUOTE ]
Posts: 16835

[/ QUOTE ]

I, for one, am not surprised.

[WackityWhiz]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I finally got the pain to subside a little by getting up on the bathroom counter, lying face down over the sink with my butt facing the tap. I turned the tap on and gave myself an enema until the pain subsided.

[/ QUOTE ]

The mental image I just had is one I wish to never have again!

[/ QUOTE ]

[mason55]

Last day of camp, the summer after seventh grade. This camp was at a college campus. Anyways, we're hanging out in front of the library waiting for our parents to come get us. The front of the library is a 6 foot ledge with a 6 foot wide, 6 foot tall shrub in front of it. At the edge of the ledge there's a bench.

So we're using the bench to valut off of the ledge and over the bushes. Everyone else went and it was my turn. I got a running start and hit the ledge. I jumped, but I didn't quite clear the brick wall that I didn't know was on the other side of the bushes. I caught my foot on the wall which pulled it underneath me. I landed on the ground sitting on the side of my foot.

I couldn't walk so my mom came and helped me home. She didn't believe that I had broken another bone (this would have been 5 in one year) so she and my dad went to a baseball game out of town the next day, leaving me home alone and unable to walk.

When they came back they realized I was really hurt. So 2 days after I broke my foot I finally got to the hospital. Turns out I broke so many tarsels and metatarsels that they could even tell how many were broken. They could count at least 6 and figured there was probably 8-9 broken bones in my foot.

Hard cast for 2 months, walking cast for a month.

[HopeydaFish]

[ QUOTE ]
Last day of camp, the summer after seventh grade. This camp was at a college campus. Anyways, we're hanging out in front of the library waiting for our parents to come get us. The front of the library is a 6 foot ledge with a 6 foot wide, 6 foot tall shrub in front of it. At the edge of the ledge there's a bench.

So we're using the bench to valut off of the ledge and over the bushes. Everyone else went and it was my turn. I got a running start and hit the ledge. I jumped, but I didn't quite clear the brick wall that I didn't know was on the other side of the bushes. I caught my foot on the wall which pulled it underneath me. I landed on the ground sitting on the side of my foot.

I couldn't walk so my mom came and helped me home. She didn't believe that I had broken another bone (this would have been 5 in one year) so she and my dad went to a baseball game out of town the next day, leaving me home alone and unable to walk.


[/ QUOTE ]

And at what point did Children's Protective Services show up to remove you from your home?

[WackityWhiz]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Last day of camp, the summer after seventh grade. This camp was at a college campus. Anyways, we're hanging out in front of the library waiting for our parents to come get us. The front of the library is a 6 foot ledge with a 6 foot wide, 6 foot tall shrub in front of it. At the edge of the ledge there's a bench.

So we're using the bench to valut off of the ledge and over the bushes. Everyone else went and it was my turn. I got a running start and hit the ledge. I jumped, but I didn't quite clear the brick wall that I didn't know was on the other side of the bushes. I caught my foot on the wall which pulled it underneath me. I landed on the ground sitting on the side of my foot.

I couldn't walk so my mom came and helped me home. She didn't believe that I had broken another bone (this would have been 5 in one year) so she and my dad went to a baseball game out of town the next day, leaving me home alone and unable to walk.


[/ QUOTE ]

And at what point did Children's Protective Services show up to remove you from your home?

[/ QUOTE ]

hey, baseball is America's pastime

[HopeydaFish]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Last day of camp, the summer after seventh grade. This camp was at a college campus. Anyways, we're hanging out in front of the library waiting for our parents to come get us. The front of the library is a 6 foot ledge with a 6 foot wide, 6 foot tall shrub in front of it. At the edge of the ledge there's a bench.

So we're using the bench to valut off of the ledge and over the bushes. Everyone else went and it was my turn. I got a running start and hit the ledge. I jumped, but I didn't quite clear the brick wall that I didn't know was on the other side of the bushes. I caught my foot on the wall which pulled it underneath me. I landed on the ground sitting on the side of my foot.

I couldn't walk so my mom came and helped me home. She didn't believe that I had broken another bone (this would have been 5 in one year) so she and my dad went to a baseball game out of town the next day, leaving me home alone and unable to walk.


[/ QUOTE ]

And at what point did Children's Protective Services show up to remove you from your home?

[/ QUOTE ]

hey, baseball is America's pastime

[/ QUOTE ]

Granted. And the tickets wouldn't be refundable.

[BigBaitsim (milo)]

Skinnydipping in jellyfish infested water. Predictable results. Brief ER visit. Two weeks of not using the injured part.

[HopeydaFish]

[ QUOTE ]
Skinnydipping in jellyfish infested water. Predictable results. Brief ER visit. Two weeks of not using the injured part.

[/ QUOTE ]

Something tells me that the "part" you're referring to isn't something you could do without, like your hand or your foot... /images/graemlins/blush.gif

[rusellmj]

I was pole vaulting in jr. high. Pole vaulting is a scream. We had two fiberglass poles (one of which I was using). While taking a breather someone grabs the pole I'm using. Coach says "here, use this one". It's made of aluminum. I sprint down the runway and bury the tip in the pit.

Please take a moment to purse your lips very tightly and draw air in through them.

This is the sound my hands made sliding down the pole before I ended up crashing into the pit. So much was the heat build up in my palms that I had G.I. Joe kung fu grip for the next week.

Please, always make sure the pole is flexible.

[this guy]

</font><blockquote><font class="small">In Antwort auf:</font><hr />
Here's a SIIMP story...

When I was about 10 or 11 years old I was walking home from school. It was the middle of winter and there'd been freezing rain recently and the roads were covered in ice. I was chatting with a friend of mine as I was walking home, and I was walking backwards so that I'd face him as I'm talking. Suddenly I tripped over a chunk of ice that was sitting on the road, and landed square on my tailbone on *another* chunk of ice -- this one much more pointy. The pain was excruciating. My idiot "friend" just laughed at me and walked home. I managed to hobble home on my own.

Later than night, the pain had gotten to be intolerable. I was getting desperate, so I started looking through the medicine cabinet for something to help the pain. I see some "Absorbine Jr." and see on the label that it "Reduces aches and pains". I figured this was the stuff for me.

In my infinite wisdom I decide to rub some of this onto my tailbone. For those of you who don't know, Absorbine Jr. is a liquid that comes in a soft plastic bottle that has a sponge-like applicator. You rub the sponge on the affected muscle while applying pressure and squeezing the bottle, and the liquid is released onto your skin. Absorbine Jr. is basically pure rubbing alcohol -- if you apply it to an open wound, or get any near your eyes, it stings like hell.

Anyway, I twist my arm around my body, place the bottle next to my tailbone, squeeze the bottle and press down *way too hard* on the applicator. The liquid comes gushing out of the bottle, runs over my tailbone, runs between my ass cheeks, and goes directly into my pooper. It felt like somebody had taken a red hot poker, shoved it in my ass, and then twisted it. Only worse.

I was trying not to scream in pain in the washroom, because I didn't want my parents to force their way in and find me standing there naked, tears running down my cheeks, with Absorbine Jr. in my bum.

I finally got the pain to subside a little by getting up on the bathroom counter, lying face down over the sink with my butt facing the tap. I turned the tap on and gave myself an enema until the pain subsided.

Since that day, my pooper has been strictly an "exit only" orifice.

[/ QUOTE ]

/images/graemlins/grin.gif

[joshman1204]

Me an my wife had a miscue during some acrobatic sex.

I am now an asexual being /images/graemlins/frown.gif

[Sephus]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Skinnydipping in jellyfish infested water. Predictable results. Brief ER visit. Two weeks of not using the injured part.

[/ QUOTE ]

Something tells me that the "part" you're referring to isn't something you could do without, like your hand or your foot... /images/graemlins/blush.gif

[/ QUOTE ]

you are



http://img387.imageshack.us/img387/8327/bril8wo.jpg

I didn't have time to read through all of these tonight, but if you guys enjoyed these stories, then you'll love this website:

www.darwinawards.com (http://www.darwinawards.com/)

I apologize if someone else already mentioned it, but I didn't notice it skimming through.

[TeeJayORTj]

My only real injury is rather tame. When I was 10 or so I was having a Bike race with an older friend. I come flying around the corner of a narrow street only to see a parked car on the side of the road. It was an old truck with one of those metal bumpers and my left leg got stuck into the bumper. I pulled it out and ended up walking home with blood just covering my leg and leaving a pool in of it in my shoe. I never ended up going to the hospital, I convinced the babysitter I didnt need medical attention. Still have a scar on my leg, although its much less noticable then it used to be.

[siccjay]

Slid head first into someone show playing Baseball, twice. Broken bone both times.

[modaddy]

Went with my wife on a hike up to a waterfall on Koh Samui island in Thailand. We get to the base of the waterfall and see that you can get to the top by climbing up a harmless looking boulder formation. My wife says 'no thanks', I take it up alone. Getting up is a little slippery but no real challenge. I take some pictures, put my camera around my neck, and begin to scale down. Somehow, getting down, the rock seems a bit more slippery, and I decide to scooch down on my butt.

Next thing I know, I've lost all traction, and am flying down the boulder like a giant slide. At the bottom, I launched off the end and slammed into another rock.

The camera was demolished, but likely absorbed just enough of the impact to save my life. I escaped with bruises and injured pride.

[SomethingClever]

When I was like 7 my parents left me alone in the basement for a while with some wood and a hammer.

I started hammering the [censored] out of this piece of wood, without nails or anything.

I was sitting on my knees, pounding the wood (like a hammer) in front of me. I got a little too excited, swung back too far, and spiked myself in the head with the pointy end of the hammer. Blood, ER, etc...

I didn't even need stitches, though.

[WackityWhiz]

that is not something clever

[pokerdirty]

[ QUOTE ]
Here's a SIIMP story...

When I was about 10 or 11 years old I was walking home from school. It was the middle of winter and there'd been freezing rain recently and the roads were covered in ice. I was chatting with a friend of mine as I was walking home, and I was walking backwards so that I'd face him as I'm talking. Suddenly I tripped over a chunk of ice that was sitting on the road, and landed square on my tailbone on *another* chunk of ice -- this one much more pointy. The pain was excruciating. My idiot "friend" just laughed at me and walked home. I managed to hobble home on my own.

Later than night, the pain had gotten to be intolerable. I was getting desperate, so I started looking through the medicine cabinet for something to help the pain. I see some "Absorbine Jr." and see on the label that it "Reduces aches and pains". I figured this was the stuff for me.

In my infinite wisdom I decide to rub some of this onto my tailbone. For those of you who don't know, Absorbine Jr. is a liquid that comes in a soft plastic bottle that has a sponge-like applicator. You rub the sponge on the affected muscle while applying pressure and squeezing the bottle, and the liquid is released onto your skin. Absorbine Jr. is basically pure rubbing alcohol -- if you apply it to an open wound, or get any near your eyes, it stings like hell.

Anyway, I twist my arm around my body, place the bottle next to my tailbone, squeeze the bottle and press down *way too hard* on the applicator. The liquid comes gushing out of the bottle, runs over my tailbone, runs between my ass cheeks, and goes directly into my pooper. It felt like somebody had taken a red hot poker, shoved it in my ass, and then twisted it. Only worse.

I was trying not to scream in pain in the washroom, because I didn't want my parents to force their way in and find me standing there naked, tears running down my cheeks, with Absorbine Jr. in my bum.

I finally got the pain to subside a little by getting up on the bathroom counter, lying face down over the sink with my butt facing the tap. I turned the tap on and gave myself an enema until the pain subsided.

Since that day, my pooper has been strictly an "exit only" orifice.

[/ QUOTE ]

A-, only because you probably liked it

[rustyboy]

I too did this, but was so young I can't really remember the pair so much. My mom has interesting pictures of my head with two stripes hairless though.

My best was only a few years ago. Sophomore year of college, morning of the OSU-Michigan game. Thoroughly tanked. At this point, I had not slept since Wednesday night and almost all of it remains a drunken blurr. I cant even remember jumping into mirror lake, an OSU tradition, despite it being only 28 degrees and a thin layer of ice being broken on the jump in. I also lost the truck that took us there, so I stumbled home in only my whity-tightys in the cold. Bad move number one. Game day drinking and my buddy who claims to have invented the bush dive game, where you drunkenly see if the nearest bush is strong enough to support you, dares me to try a monster near our house. Needless to say, the doctor stitching the inch hole in my right ass cheak during kickoff made me quite upset.

[pokerdirty]

[ QUOTE ]
I too did this, but was so young I can't really remember the pair so much. My mom has interesting pictures of my head with two stripes hairless though.

My best was only a few years ago. Sophomore year of college, morning of the OSU-Michigan game. Thoroughly tanked. At this point, I had not slept since Wednesday night and almost all of it remains a drunken blurr. I cant even remember jumping into mirror lake, an OSU tradition, despite it being only 28 degrees and a thin layer of ice being broken on the jump in. I also lost the truck that took us there, so I stumbled home in only my whity-tightys in the cold. Bad move number one. Game day drinking and my buddy who claims to have invented the bush dive game, where you drunkenly see if the nearest bush is strong enough to support you, dares me to try a monster near our house. Needless to say, the doctor stitching the inch hole in my right ass cheak during kickoff made me quite upset.

[/ QUOTE ]

fairly stupid story, but bonus points for being an OSU fan.

B

PS O-H...

[britspin]

Drunk in Gran Canaria hotel with football team. Leave hotel bar to go to nightclub. Hotel has reveloving doors.

Naturally we get the revolving doors to go really fast then run through.

I ran with arm extended. Misjudge rate of door spin.

Emerge other side with forearm at right angles, hanging limply. Don't actually notice myself but horrified friends draw attention to fact that only flesh is holding arm together. Look down. Cue agonising pain and screaming.

[pokerdirty]

[ QUOTE ]
Drunk in Gran Canaria hotel with football team. Leave hotel bar to go to nightclub. Hotel has reveloving doors.

Naturally we get the revolving doors to go really fast then run through.

I ran with arm extended. Misjudge rate of door spin.

Emerge other side with forearm at right angles, hanging limply. Don't actually notice myself but horrified friends draw attention to fact that only flesh is holding arm together. Look down. Cue agonising pain and screaming.

[/ QUOTE ]

A, this is awesome. I always wanted to see this happen to someone.

[uw_madtown]

I demand grading. What good is it to tell a tale of pain if I don't get properly rated for it?

[Talk2BigSteve]

[ QUOTE ]
What's the dumbest thing you have ever done that involves injury to yourself ?

I was playing pickup basketball at the gym friday, and my team was losing 4-10 (1st to 11). I decided that I was going to try and steal the ball from their center instead of just letting him score and getting the [censored] off the court. I slapped at the ball, not expecting it to come out, but it did, and it bounced down and back up, breaking my [censored] pinkie finger. This is a $1000 mistake. /images/graemlins/mad.gif

I know OOT can come up with something 2356x better though...

[/ QUOTE ]


When I was in High School 3 of my friends and I did a chinese fire drill at the red light.

2 things went horribly wrong....

#1 I run counter clock-wise and everyone else runs clock-wise. I hit my friend Paul at a full run and break my own arm.

#2 Jesse was driving the car and forgot to put the car in park and as he comes around the front of the car he gets pinned to the car in front of us and broke his leg.

Two injuries in one Chinese Fire Drill is pretty damn dumb.

Big Steve /images/graemlins/cool.gif

#2

[bosoxfan]

That sucked. I was expecting a gerbil story. /images/graemlins/mad.gif

[Intent]

Didn't happen to me, but...

Couple years ago I was living in Florida, and one of my nieghbors caught a snake and decided to teach his young children how you handle snakes, or something. During the lesson, the snake bites him. He thinks nothing of it, lets it go, and go back into his house. Looks the snake up on the internet. It was a coral (poisionous). He spends the next 3 days in the ICU.

[pokerdirty]

[ QUOTE ]


When I was in High School 3 of my friends and I did a chinese fire drill at the red light.

2 things went horribly wrong....

#1 I run counter clock-wise and everyone else runs clock-wise. I hit my friend Paul at a full run and break my own arm.

#2 Jesse was driving the car and forgot to put the car in park and as he comes around the front of the car he gets pinned to the car in front of us and broke his leg.

Two injuries in one Chinese Fire Drill is pretty damn dumb.

Big Steve /images/graemlins/cool.gif

#2

[/ QUOTE ]


#1 = D
#2 = B+

overall B- (higher because this is extremely gay (pun intended))

[pokerdirty]

[ QUOTE ]
Didn't happen to me, but...

Couple years ago I was living in Florida, and one of my nieghbors caught a snake and decided to teach his young children how you handle snakes, or something. During the lesson, the snake bites him. He thinks nothing of it, lets it go, and go back into his house. Looks the snake up on the internet. It was a coral (poisionous). He spends the next 3 days in the ICU.

[/ QUOTE ]

B. I almost gave this a C+, but 3 days in the hospital raises this. Now you know why you don't [censored] with snakes.

[pokerdirty]

[ QUOTE ]
I'm guessing that my "stupid injury story" wins for most serious injury, and may be a frontrunner for studity. I wasn't going to post it because I'm pretty sure it makes people significantly lower their opinion of me, but jason_t begged and pleaded, so here it is.

Winter of my junior year in high school. February of 2000. I lived in SW Wisconsin, a largely rural area. We'd just gotten a large snowstorm and it had drifted quite a bit in the country. What are stupid high schoolers to do when there's several feet of snow on the ground?

Head to a buddy's place in the country and screw around, that's what. So we get out there, play some video games, whatever, and eventually decide we should go outside and do some wrestling moves (we'd all brought heavy winter stuff with us, since it was inevitably going to end up in an outside snow brawl). For the most part it was harmless stuff in the deeper snow areas. This is back when wrestling's popularity was still in recent memory, and Wrestlemania 2000 on the N64 was the hot video game amongst our friends -- so we had plenty of moves at our disposal. I forget some of the names now, but there were plenty of them, and landing in the snow didn't hurt at all.

So, like the stupid people all high schoolers are, we kept doing bigger and bigger moves.

I neglected to mention that about twenty or thirty feet from my friend's house, he had a little cement pumphouse thing that was about 10 feet tall -- perfect height for something off the top ropes...

After one of my friends taking a frogsplash, it was decided that we should do what I later found out is called a "Doomsday Device" -- I got on the shoulders of my 6' 6" friend, and one of our other buddies got on the pumphouse thing, and he leapt off clotheslining me to the ground. In theory, anyway. The first time, it was pretty lame. Basically, we just fell backwards and he lightly tapped my chest. Another one of my friends claimed he could do it much better. So we did it a second time (!).

The second time, the second guy got me hard enough so that I actually twisted back. My head and neck planted in the ground facing up (as though I'd fallen straight backwards), but my body and legs had so much momentum that they continued, and flipped behind as though I'd landed face down. Yes, this essentially put me face to face with my own chest.

Know that feeling you get when you knock your funny bone? It was that feeling, times 10, everywhere in my body the instant I hit. I got up, although I was more "yanked" up by the guy who's shoulders I was on (and who's house it was -- he's also been my best friend since about 4th grade). I was a bit dazed but shrugged it off and they continued wrestling while I tried to figure out just what the [censored] had just happened. Eventually I went inside and took some aspirin, put an ice pack on it, and laid down a bit while they played video games.

After about 10-15 minutes, the electric funny-bone feeling had gone away... except from my elbows down, and whenever I'd touch two of my fingers together, it'd be like a shock running down the length of my arm. This was not good.

A trip to the local hospital yielded nothing. Just muscle trauma, probably a stinger -- take some relaxants and a soft neck brace, try to stretch it from time to time, you'll be fine

A day later, we get a call saying they'd misread the x-ray (another hospital caught it) and that I should get to Madison right away. Turns out that I'd torn ligaments and tendons holding my C4 and C5 in place. Normally vertebrae slip over one another -- the bottom slips under the middle slips under the top. Tendons and ligaments hold them in place, so they don't slide right into your spinal cord. Well, I'd completely dislodged my C5 vertebrae -- it had slipped out from under the C4 and jammed back up against it, according to the x-ray taken the night before. Sometime since (probably in all the stretching as per my local doctor's advisement) I'd dislodged it. But now I was in serious danger, as simply by moving my neck I was in danger of having a vertebrae rub against my spinal cord.

A month in a hard neck brace was prescribed, hoping that immobilization might allow things to heal naturally. It didn't, and after a few MRIs, I was almost scheduled for a procedure whose name escapes me, but it involved a "halo" apparatus that you've probably seen in movies -- I'd have pins screwed into my skull, my neck stretched, and then slowly released so things would align back into place. But the MRIs showed that even that was unlikely to fix the problem.

And that's how I had two vertebrae fused at 17. My neck was in a hard brace for 6 months, which causes all sorts of problems that you wouldn't imagine. Lots of vicodin and percosette. Left with a scar about 3-4 inches long and between half an inch to an inch wide on my neck, and a smaller one on the back of my hip where they got the bone to fuse the vertebrae. Not only was I lucky to be alive and not paralyzed by the fall itself, but the doctor informed me that just the fusion surgery alone could have paralyzed me (note to doctor: don't tell patients this right before they're wheeled into the operating room).

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B. Sorry. Just because you had to wear one of those things a dog has to so he doesn't lick where his nuts once were doesn't mean you get an A.

A for stupidity though.

[uw_madtown]

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B. Sorry. Just because you had to wear one of those things a dog has to so he doesn't lick where his nuts once were doesn't mean you get an A.

A for stupidity though.

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You're picturing it wrong.

More like this (not a picture of me, just googled "neck brace"):
http://orconracing.net.nz/cpg132/albums/teretonga/normal_IMG_0093%20Mark%20Wootton%20Neck%20Brace.JP G

I also think you're underestimating either the danger I was in (incredibly close to dying on impace, and close to paralyzation multiple moments) or the awesomeness of the maneuver (it's really something best described in person, with hand gestures -- but one of the guys who saw it said it was "the coolest [censored] thing" he'd ever seen).

Appreciate the recognition of my stupidity though.

[rohjoh]

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B. Sorry. Just because you had to wear one of those things a dog has to so he doesn't lick where his nuts once were doesn't mean you get an A.

A for stupidity though.

[/ QUOTE ]

You're picturing it wrong.

More like this (not a picture of me, just googled "neck brace"):
http://orconracing.net.nz/cpg132/albums/teretonga/normal_IMG_0093%20Mark%20Wootton%20Neck%20Brace.JP G

I also think you're underestimating either the danger I was in (incredibly close to dying on impace, and close to paralyzation multiple moments) or the awesomeness of the maneuver (it's really something best described in person, with hand gestures -- but one of the guys who saw it said it was "the coolest [censored] thing" he'd ever seen).

Appreciate the recognition of my stupidity though.

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Buddy of mine, dove in the ocean head first and broke his neck, had to wear one of these for like 6 months. They put screws in your head to keep it in place. This is actually a pretty comon occurance, with at least 1 or 2 people doing this per year in my area.

http://www.halozone.com/images/halofront.jpg

[DasLeben]

When I was 10, I rollerbladed down a huge hill without a helmet or pads on. I freaked out and tried to make a 90 degree right turn into my culdesac, but instead ended up going straight into a curb at about 40 mph.

I don't really remember exactly what happened next, but a neighbor said that I tumbled end over end a few times before ending up on my back on someone's front yard. I remember coming to, and seeing blood covering my glasses. That neighbor rushed over and helped me, and I found myself being rushed into the ER.

The injuries weren't bad, but one of them is going to be with me for the rest of my life. I cut my forehead up pretty badly (and you can still see the scar, 11 years later), suffered a concussion, and absolutely tore up my left shoulder.

The cut on my forehead was so deep that the ER doctor could poke my skull with his needle as he was sewing it up. I was in good spirits while I was in the ER, so he did it once just to show me. Trust me...that [censored] is loud. They put 39 stitches in my head alone. But, other than a scar, that didn't affect me for more than 2-3 weeks.

The shoulder injury is still around. I must have torn up some ligaments and tendons, because I still don't have 100% range of motion. Also, it's prone to dislocating if stressed enough in the wrong direction, which is the worst thing that I could ever wish on someone. Lucky for me, it's been about 3 years since my last dislocation, but the last time it happened, I had to be rushed into the ER. I'm fine with all normal activities, but I can't sleep on my left side without a good deal of discomfort.

Yep, all that because I was stupid when I was a kid. Fun.

[JihadOnTheRiver]

2.5 years ago at a kegger in Pensacola, FL (pre-Ivan). I was just getting into hazy blackout world. My buddy had his brand new dirtbike with him, and we were at a house on the beach. I was dikin around with it, doing wheelies and falling off, but nothing too stupid.

A while goes by, some shenanigans, and the dude says something to somebody that I somehow hear about trying to light my hair on fire. I thought that sounded funny. I said good luck trying, but if you do, I'm going to wreck your bike on purpose. He thought that was funny.

With the challenge set, about a half an hour goes by, and he somehow gets grain alcohol onto my hair without me knowing. Next thing I know, my hairs on fire. I thought it was pretty funny. Fire went out, we all laughed. While we were still laughing, I got on his bike (250, brand new).

I didn't bother getting it out of the driveway and on to the beach. So I started it, let out one last roar of insane alcoholic laughter, dropped it into first, gave it about 8000 RPM or so, and popped the clutch. A wheelie of epic proportions then occured.

I fell on my back, the bike continues forward another few feet, hit a tree, and came back onto me. The right side foot peg (which on a dirt bike is very rigid for grip and all metal obviously) landed on the top of my left foot. I was wearing sandals.

The blood was pretty intense. It made a 2" gash on my foot, all the way to the bone. I was, again, really really drunk, so I felt no pain. My friends had to go to the store and get disinfectant, but in the mean time they used the equally effective substitute of beer, vodka, some gin, and a great deal of the aforementioned grain alcohol.

The party soon thereafter dismantled. I never went to the hospital. The scar is pretty gross. What's my grade PDirty?

-JOTR

PS. Pokerdirty, I really feel that you should refer to yourself as P. Dirty.

[lem45216]

Stuck a screwdriver in an electrical socket last year forgetting that electrical sockets are electrical. That hurt.

Was in the woods recently with some mates, a petrol can and some matches (as you do), a spark went into the can but we managed to cap it before it went up in flames. A few seconds later i decided to see if anything had happened inside the can by opening it. That was dumb.

Jumped out of a 30ft tree for a £5 bet. That hurt but i won the £5.

Drunkenly challenged a drunken mate of mine who is considerably bigger than me, and a champion amature boxer to bear knuckle fight.

All of these things are painful and i don't reccommend them.

[uw_madtown]

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B. Sorry. Just because you had to wear one of those things a dog has to so he doesn't lick where his nuts once were doesn't mean you get an A.

A for stupidity though.

[/ QUOTE ]

You're picturing it wrong.

More like this (not a picture of me, just googled "neck brace"):
http://orconracing.net.nz/cpg132/albums/teretonga/normal_IMG_0093%20Mark%20Wootton%20Neck%20Brace.JP G

I also think you're underestimating either the danger I was in (incredibly close to dying on impace, and close to paralyzation multiple moments) or the awesomeness of the maneuver (it's really something best described in person, with hand gestures -- but one of the guys who saw it said it was "the coolest [censored] thing" he'd ever seen).

Appreciate the recognition of my stupidity though.

[/ QUOTE ]

Buddy of mine, dove in the ocean head first and broke his neck, had to wear one of these for like 6 months. They put screws in your head to keep it in place. This is actually a pretty comon occurance, with at least 1 or 2 people doing this per year in my area.

http://www.halozone.com/images/halofront.jpg

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Yeah, was close to having that done, only I would have been in a hospital bed with weights attached to stretch my neck or something. Either way, halos suck ass.

[protocol]

During the winter of my senior year of high school, I went cross country skiing with my parents. The trail we were on was 8 miles long or so, and I had gotten way ahead of them. At the end of the trail there was a clearing which was at the base of an abandoned downhill ski slope. It was fairly short in length, but moderately steep, I would say most likely a blue square.

After waiting for a few minutes, I got the brilliant idea of going down the slope with my cross country skis on. I figured that I would have enough time to climb the hill carrying my skis, and make it back down before they got there.

So I make it to the top, which took much longer than I expected, and my parents are already waiting at the bottom. So I put the skis on and take off right away, completely exhausted. Now what I failed to consider is that cross country skis are much faster than downhill skis, and I picked up a ton of speed. My attempts to slow down were thwarted by the fact that it is nearly impossible to turn while rocketing downhill in XC skis(which are longer and skinnier than downhill skis). I remember thinking that this was the fastest I have ever been moving(other than in a vehicle).

Not surprisingly, I wipe out big time, which I remember just as a blur as I hit my head on the ground at some point. After rolling downhill for some time, I'm laying there in a tangled mess, struggling to get my skis off(XC skis do not have the quick release thing like downhill skis) without the use of my left arm, in which all I can feel is a sharp tingling pain, intensified by movement.
Oh yeah, and the nearest hospital was more than an hour away. I suppose I was lucky to come away with only a broken left collarbone and a mild concussion.