one of the most absurd things I've ever witnessed

[sthief09]

about 4am last night I'm walking back from a bar with my friend and we decide to get some pizza. outside there is a homeless guy and he asks if I can get him a slice of pizza. I have a "policy" of giving them food if they ask for it, but not money. so I ask him what he wants. a pepperoni slice and a snapple.

so I go inside and the guy at the counter says they're closing so he can't give me pepperoni. so I go to give the guy his food and he says "I can't eat this. this doesn't have pepperoni." so I explained what happened and he said that they know him so they would've put it on for him. so being a benevolent drunk and somehow not just taking the slice back and leaving, I pull out my wallet and give him a dollar to get pepperoni. then he says "no man. that's not the same. I can't eat this." then I said something, not sure what, and he eventually just took it. amazing...

[JaBlue]

yes, that avatar is mesmerizing even though it is a cartoon

i guess beggers can be choosers

[Kaeser]

I had a bum in seattle ask me for 50 dollars to buy some clothes for a job interview. I thought that was a little optimistic of him.

[dibbs]

Sounds like a Curb Your Enthusiasm sub-plot easy. Wow.

[MasterShakes]

[ QUOTE ]
Sounds like a Curb Your Enthusiasm sub-plot easy. Wow.

[/ QUOTE ]

Exactly what I was thinking.

[ QUOTE ]
Sounds like a Curb Your Enthusiasm sub-plot easy. Wow.

[/ QUOTE ]

[edfurlong]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Sounds like a Curb Your Enthusiasm sub-plot easy. Wow.

[/ QUOTE ]

[/ QUOTE ]

Sounds more like something they could get three or four shows out of.

God I hate that show.

[unreal_nh]

well you should've known better... if the man wants a pepperoni, by god he's gonna have a pepperoni

Larry David is a comedic genius

[Bukem_]

[ QUOTE ]
Larry David is a comedic genius

[/ QUOTE ]

Larry David would end up getting in a fight with the homeless guy or the pizza guy. I can't decide which.

[PoBoy321]

[ QUOTE ]
Larry David is a comedic genius

[/ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]


Larry David would end up getting in a fight with the homeless guy or the pizza guy. I can't decide which.

[/ QUOTE ]

He would get in a fight with the pizza guy because he wanted to help the homeless guy, but then the homeless guy would get mad at him for fighting with his friend the pizza guy and they both would hate him.

[jokerthief]

I wonder why that guy is homeless! /images/graemlins/tongue.gif

[Victor]

[ QUOTE ]
Sounds like a Curb Your Enthusiasm sub-plot easy. Wow.

[/ QUOTE ]

well, they actually did it already. see the first season. "i dont eat fish."

[Voltron87]

[ QUOTE ]
and they both would hate him.

[/ QUOTE ]

this is key.

also, a person larry knew would walk by and see him arguing with the homeless man and think larry was nitpicking with a bum he was trying to help. then larry would see that person later, etc/

[thatpfunk]

i had a bum ask to borrow my car the other day. i just stared at him.

[TheCroShow]

buddy of mine gave a bum $5 and the bum responded in disgust with "is that it??"

[siccjay]

[ QUOTE ]
buddy of mine gave a bum $5 and the bum responded in disgust with "is that it??"

[/ QUOTE ]

I would take it back.

[Piz0wn0reD!!!!!!]

[ QUOTE ]
about 4am last night I'm walking back from a bar with my friend and we decide to get some pizza. outside there is a homeless guy and he asks if I can get him a slice of pizza. I have a "policy" of giving them food if they ask for it, but not money. so I ask him what he wants. a pepperoni slice and a snapple.

so I go inside and the guy at the counter says they're closing so he can't give me pepperoni. so I go to give the guy his food and he says "I can't eat this. this doesn't have pepperoni." so I explained what happened and he said that they know him so they would've put it on for him. so being a benevolent drunk and somehow not just taking the slice back and leaving, I pull out my wallet and give him a dollar to get pepperoni. then he says "no man. that's not the same. I can't eat this." then I said something, not sure what, and he eventually just took it. amazing...

[/ QUOTE ]

lol! you had to have made this up

[Peter666]

So do what I do and stab them when no one is looking.

[SCfuji]

drop the pizza cheese side-down onto the street in front of his face.

[jakethebake]

Did you ask how much to eat poop?

[TStoneMBD]

it sounds like from the bum's perspective that hes out by the pizza shop regularly asking for pizza, and the owners of the shop hate him there so they try to avoid serving him whenever possible so hed leave. the bum took offense that the pizza shop owners wouldnt sell you pepperoni on the slice and him denying the pizza is the only method he has of exercising his dignity.

weird, but logical.

[rory]

sweet read

[pokerdirty]

i love the guys with the signs outside of yankee stadium after a game with the "please give - i need a beer" sign...

if i was drunk, i would have walked away with my slice of pizza and left his ass hungry. there's always room for pizza when you are drunk.

[danzasmack]

When i worked as a dealer I would often take a taxi home late night cuz i had $. One night I had been dealing straight through from like 7-4 and hadn't eaten, so I picked up some white castle and jumped in a taxi.

If you have ever been to manhattan the odds of you getting a woman cab driver are like 1/1000. I get in the cab, low and behold my cab driver is a 60 year old asian woman who could not have weighed more than like 85 lbs. So i get in and she starts yelling "im very hungry, your food smells very good, what did you get?" I tell her white castle and she replies "i love white castle"

At this point i'm very tired and kind of just want to get home but she seems to be paying more attention to me not giving her a cheeseburger than her driving. Finally I offer her one and looks back in excitement. I tell her to watch the road. and she stops. in the middle of 7th avenue. Just stops. I hand her the burger and say "drive please!" a request she ignores until the burger is out of the little box and into her smaller hand. She starts driving fairly slow. She takes 2 bites, puts the unfinished burger on her seat and says "no no no, you need more onions and ketchup" I really thought she was gonna make me go back.

[pokerdirty]

[ QUOTE ]
When i worked as a dealer I would often take a taxi home late night cuz i had $. One night I had been dealing straight through from like 7-4 and hadn't eaten, so I picked up some white castle and jumped in a taxi.

If you have ever been to manhattan the odds of you getting a woman cab driver are like 1/1000. I get in the cab, low and behold my cab driver is a 60 year old asian woman who could not have weighed more than like 85 lbs. So i get in and she starts yelling "im very hungry, your food smells very good, what did you get?" I tell her white castle and she replies "i love white castle"

At this point i'm very tired and kind of just want to get home but she seems to be paying more attention to me not giving her a cheeseburger than her driving. Finally I offer her one and looks back in excitement. I tell her to watch the road. and she stops. in the middle of 7th avenue. Just stops. I hand her the burger and say "drive please!" a request she ignores until the burger is out of the little box and into her smaller hand. She starts driving fairly slow. She takes 2 bites, puts the unfinished burger on her seat and says "no no no, you need more onions and ketchup" I really thought she was gonna make me go back.

[/ QUOTE ]

there's a WHITE CASTLE in the city?!?!? WHERE??!!!??

[danzasmack]

8th avenue between 36th and 37th street on the west side of the street. jeez. amateurs.

[Sponger15SB]

I would have just thrown the pizza on the ground.

[BottlesOf]

"Why rap? Cause I need air time. Why be on the curb with a 'Why Lie, I need a beer' sign?"

[Matt Flynn]

Sounds like his toppings are one of the very few things in his life he controls. In a sense not so crazy. I wouldn't take it personally. At least he is making an excellent choice.

If it were diced bell pepper or pineapple he would just be nuts and require no further thought.

[Boris]

wow. I would have been seriously pissed at the guy.

[JordanIB]

[ QUOTE ]
8th avenue between 36th and 37th street on the west side of the street. jeez. amateurs.

[/ QUOTE ]

There is also one up at 125th street in Harlem. I forget the exact cross street, but it's a few blocks west of Madison.

[pokerdirty]

[ QUOTE ]
"Why rap? Cause I need air time. Why be on the curb with a 'Why Lie, I need a beer' sign?"

[/ QUOTE ]

who said that? obviously must be a yankee fan.

[pokerdirty]

[ QUOTE ]
8th avenue between 36th and 37th street on the west side of the street. jeez. amateurs.

[/ QUOTE ]

ugh, that's like 30 blocks from me /images/graemlins/mad.gif

i wish they would put one in the middle of washington square park, that would be awesome.

[-Skeme-]

[ QUOTE ]
I had a bum in seattle ask me for 50 dollars to buy some clothes for a job interview. I thought that was a little optimistic of him.

[/ QUOTE ]

I swear, the bums in Seattle are totally relentless. It almost makes going downtown unbearable for me. One time I gave a bum my Subway card, back when they had stamps, dude didn't seem too thankful. What a dick.

[nothumb]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
"Why rap? Cause I need air time. Why be on the curb with a 'Why Lie, I need a beer' sign?"

[/ QUOTE ]

who said that? obviously must be a yankee fan.

[/ QUOTE ]

Jadakiss... can't remember if it was the original "Why?" or the remix with Nas and Styles. I'm thinking remix.

NT

[David04]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
"Why rap? Cause I need air time. Why be on the curb with a 'Why Lie, I need a beer' sign?"

[/ QUOTE ]

who said that? obviously must be a yankee fan.

[/ QUOTE ]

Jadakiss... can't remember if it was the original "Why?" or the remix with Nas and Styles. I'm thinking remix.

NT

[/ QUOTE ]
It was the OG.

[pokerdirty]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I had a bum in seattle ask me for 50 dollars to buy some clothes for a job interview. I thought that was a little optimistic of him.

[/ QUOTE ]

I swear, the bums in Seattle are totally relentless. It almost makes going downtown unbearable for me. One time I gave a bum my Subway card, back when they had stamps, dude didn't seem too thankful. What a dick.

[/ QUOTE ]

haha, cause you still had to buy a soda to get the sub

[Blarg]

[ QUOTE ]
I had a bum in seattle ask me for 50 dollars to buy some clothes for a job interview. I thought that was a little optimistic of him.

[/ QUOTE ]

I had a guy ask me for a hundred bucks for cleaning my windshield -- and this when I hadn't asked him to clean my windshield, my windshield was perfectly clean, and he found the world's filthiest piece of newspaper to completely gunk up my windshield.

I hope I wasn't a racist for declining.

[The Goober]

I was in portland one time with some leftover dim some and a homeless women asked me if she could have it. Like you, I'm quick to give away food but not money. So I give her the styrofoam box of food and she takes it then angrily asks me "do you have a fork?!?"

I sorta figure that among beggars the standard procedure is to secure whatever freebie you can get, and then push for more because at that point you've got nothing to lose by trying. I don't know how many times I've given a bum a cigarette and instead of "thank you" I get "can I have 2?"

[Niwa]

wow.

[mikech]

where did this happen? i just saw your "how much would i have to make?" thread where you mentioned you go to columbia; when i was a student there i had a similar experience with a homeless guy near campus. i was walking back to schapiro with a ham sandwich i'd gotten for lunch when he asked me for some money for food. i offered him half of my sandwich (cut into halves already so it's not like i was trying to give him something bitten into or anything), but he told me he was a vegetarian.

obviously not the same homeless guy since yours was an adamant carnivore, but maybe the bums on morningside heights are just particularly choosy.

[spamuell]

[ QUOTE ]
. i was walking back to schapiro with a ham sandwich i'd gotten for lunch when he asked me for some money for food. i offered him half of my sandwich (cut into halves already so it's not like i was trying to give him something bitten into or anything), but he told me he was a vegetarian.

[/ QUOTE ]

Yeah, people who don't have houses shouldn't be allowed to have principles!

[smokingrobot]

hey that reminds me of that phrase... wait.. you know, the one about people being choosers.. ah [censored] it, i cant remember.

[Jimbo]

[ QUOTE ]
I don't know how many times I've given a bum a cigarette and instead of "thank you" I get "can I have 2?"


[/ QUOTE ]

You can cure them of that by breaking the first one in half, then asking if they'd like to have four.