Biggest animal you'd fight for money

[bobman0330]

Say a billionaire weirdo wants to see people fight animals for fun. He's offering you $50 million to enter a closed arena with a starving, mean animal of some sort. Three scenarios: a) you're unarmed; b) you have a baseball bat; c) you have a revolver with 3 bullets. What's the scariest animal you'd be willing to fight?

I debated making a poll, but it's too much work, and there might be some debate about the hierarchy. Here are some animals to get you thinking:
Cat
Dog
Horse (assume he wants to attack you for some reason)
Wolf
Lion
Reasonable-size bear
Tiger
Elephant

[Brainwalter]

Uh what kind of dog?

a)cat
dog (assuming hes not a crazy german sheperd or otherwise large, angry, starving and agressive)
b)cat
dog (any dog)
horse
wolf
c)
cat
dog
horse
wolf
elephant (are revolvers able to pierce an elephants skull? if not, count this one out)
(I left out lions, bears and tigers because they tend to be fairly quick, so even with 3 bullets, I might only get 1 shot)


The heirarchy is really messed up though, since size does not equal danger always.

[Sephus]

i would advise against fighting the elephant even with the revolver.

[unreal_nh]

a) elephant

b) cat

c) wolf

[Wake up CALL]

[ QUOTE ]
Biggest animal you'd fight for money

[/ QUOTE ]

A sperm whale of course. The bigger they are, the harder they fall.

[Lazymeatball]

[ QUOTE ]
Uh what kind of dog?

[/ QUOTE ]

The worse dogs you would want to be attacked by probably range from Mastiff (take your pick of variety), Wolf Hybrid, Argentian Dogo, Japaneese Tosa Inu, Rottweiler, large German Sheperd, Great Dane, to name a few.
Unless you were some sort of bear wrestler you would need a baseball bat or a knife at minimum to defend yourself against these.

http://www.traffordphotos.com/assets/images/9T065D-098.jpg

[Lazymeatball]

A baseball bat would not do you any good against a horse.

[scotty34]

[ QUOTE ]
A baseball bat would not do you any good against a horse.

[/ QUOTE ]

I think it would. A clean blow to the head should be able to take out most animals horse size and smaller. If you think you can get that shot in though may be a different question.

[Diplomat]

not even a blow to the lower part of their back legs?

-Diplomat

[scotty34]

[ QUOTE ]
not even a blow to the lower part of their back legs?

-Diplomat

[/ QUOTE ]

If you have ever been around horses, trust me, in range of their back legs is the last place you want to be.

[Lazymeatball]

[ QUOTE ]
not even a blow to the lower part of their back legs?

-Diplomat

[/ QUOTE ]

When was the last time you were face to face with a horse?

[Lazymeatball]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
A baseball bat would not do you any good against a horse.

[/ QUOTE ]

I think it would. A clean blow to the head should be able to take out most animals horse size and smaller. If you think you can get that shot in though may be a different question.

[/ QUOTE ]

Agreed, a clean blow would take it out, but you'd be swinging at something above you that's moving. So yeah, we agree.

[twang]

[ QUOTE ]
a starving, mean animal of some sort.

[/ QUOTE ]
I'd hate to fight a starving elephant that wants to eat my flesh and drink my blood. I'd pick a cat, a small one.

[ QUOTE ]
Say a billionaire weirdo wants to see people fight animals for fun. He's offering you $50 million to enter a closed arena with a starving, mean animal of some sort. Three scenarios: a) you're unarmed; b) you have a baseball bat; c) you have a revolver with 3 bullets. What's the scariest animal you'd be willing to fight?

I debated making a poll, but it's too much work, and there might be some debate about the hierarchy. Here are some animals to get you thinking:
Cat
Dog
Horse (assume he wants to attack you for some reason)
Wolf
Lion
Reasonable-size bear
Tiger
Elephant

[/ QUOTE ]

Is Oprah an animal? She's large and I'd fight her for $20.00. If she's not an animal, the next largest thing I would fight would be a cow. I know some sweet illegal ninja bovine moves taught to me by the government. So a cow would be +EV for me. I'd also like to beat the crap out of a manatee for free. Some of them have been getting pretty stuck up lately.

LLL

I think I could take a moose.

[Patrick del Poker Grande]

Well, if he's going to give me an absurd amount of money no matter what, I'll take a small dog or a housecat under all three circumstances.

[ QUOTE ]
I think I could take a moose.

[/ QUOTE ]
They are huge and have antlers. A mooose would kick a humans ass.

[TheMainEvent]

[ QUOTE ]
Lion
Reasonable-size bear
Tiger
Elephant

[/ QUOTE ]

A human against these animals in any scenario listed is a joke. Even with a revolver you'd better be Billy the Kid because I don't think a shot to the leg or midsection is a sure thing to stop them. Against an Elephant you might as well just put the 50 mil in your will cause you're not killing that thing.

[Chairman Wood]

I hate horses, I'll fight one for free.

[Blarg]

Will he be masturbating at the time?

[Sephus]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Lion
Reasonable-size bear
Tiger
Elephant

[/ QUOTE ]

A human against these animals in any scenario listed is a joke. Even with a revolver you'd better be Billy the Kid because I don't think a shot to the leg or midsection is a sure thing to stop them. Against an Elephant you might as well just put the 50 mil in your will cause you're not killing that thing.

[/ QUOTE ]

if im fighting an elephant i'm going to need a tank. or at least one of those robot suits from the third matrix.

[Luzion]

Man... a baseball bat isnt exactly the greatest weapon against an animal. No choices for say a sword, or a spear?

It would be tough to kill a large dog with just your hands too.

[The Truth]

A) wolf and all below, not horse
B) horse and all below
C) tiger/lion, everything but bear and elephant

I think male baboon or gorilla would be an interesting match unarmed. I might take a huge bull with a baseball bat.

[Lazymeatball]

[ QUOTE ]
I hate horses, I'll fight one for free.

[/ QUOTE ]

Then you would really like this website, you [censored] horse hater (http://horsehater.blogspot.com/)

[Lazymeatball]

[ QUOTE ]
I might take a huge bull with a baseball bat.

[/ QUOTE ]
And you will die. Anyone who thinks they can take a horse or bull with a bat is wrong. A bat is not going to help you against anything over 1000 lbs.

No way I could take a horse, a bull is a definite possibility, with a bit of luck.

[siccjay]

A guy I know wrestled a bear for free. [censored] he might have even paid. I know he was one of only 3 people from this area that tied the bear in a wrestling match. I guess they had judges and [censored]. Don't ask for details it was before I was born.

[Lazymeatball]

[ QUOTE ]
No way I could take a horse, a bull is a definite possibility, with a bit of luck.

[/ QUOTE ]

I'm sorry, this makes absolutely no sense to me. If you couidn't take a horse, then a bull would be even more difficult,wouldn't it? Bulls are bigger, have harder skulls, big horns, and are more ornary than horses. Yes, you could take any animal with a bit of luck, but I'm guessing the chances against you beating a bull with a bat are at least 9:1

[TheMetetron]

You people are full of it and underestimate animals / overestimate yourselves.

Both a cat and a dog who are angry enough could come pretty [censored] close to killing a human. A dog definitely could. You get a pissed off enough cat, it has a chance.

With a bat, I'd take a dog or a cat easily. A horse? are you shitting me? Good luck with that.

Give me a gun and now I'll take the horse. But not a lion or some other such animal that is going to rush me and I'm going to get one, maybe two shots to hit it in the head. With the elephant and the bear, even a 9mm won't help. You are fucked.

[ QUOTE ]
If you couidn't take a horse, then a bull would be even more difficult,wouldn't it? Bulls are bigger, have harder skulls, big horns, and are more ornary than horses.

[/ QUOTE ]

Nah. A pissed off horse will rear up, bite, trample and kick, and they're quick as [censored] and totally unpredictable. Plus they're taller (harder to whack their nose and eyes). Bulls are pretty straight forward if you're nimble/quick enough to get out of the way of their charge and gore routine, you can work on their sensitive areas while staying away from the horns.

[Clarkmeister]

This should go in reverse order of the Animal Survivor Tournament results.

[CaptSensible]

this is why i love OOT

[CaptSensible]

A) Cat
B) Dog
C) Dog

The other animals have too good a chance to demolish me.

[ QUOTE ]
C) Dog

The other animals have too good a chance to demolish me.

[/ QUOTE ]

For 50 million dollars with a revolver and 3 bullets you wouldn't take on a wolf or horse? Wow.

[Lazymeatball]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
If you couidn't take a horse, then a bull would be even more difficult,wouldn't it? Bulls are bigger, have harder skulls, big horns, and are more ornary than horses.

[/ QUOTE ]

Nah. A pissed off horse will rear up, bite, trample and kick, and they're quick as [censored] and totally unpredictable. Plus they're taller (harder to whack their nose and eyes). Bulls are pretty straight forward if you're nimble/quick enough to get out of the way of their charge and gore routine, you can work on their sensitive areas while staying away from the horns.

[/ QUOTE ]

Is there even any debate? seriously, a bull willl kill you. does anyone else here have anything to convince me that ööO has a clue what he's talking about. it's a freaking bull, it's a huge pile of muscle, a couple whacks with a bat is not going to faze him, you are not nimble enough to avoid getting trampled or gored. They have no senstive areas.

[ethan]

a) capybara
b) capybara
c) capybara

It's big, I hate rodents, and my risk is somehwere around 0.

[Lazymeatball]

[ QUOTE ]
a) capybara
b) capybara
c) capybara

It's big, I hate rodents, and my risk is somehwere around 0.

[/ QUOTE ]


http://www.bikertony.com/PicsArgentina/PicsArgentinaEsterosDelIbera/32nice%20close%20up%20of%20capybara.jpg


hahaha, I love these things, especially that episode of "The Tick" where he finds one and names it 'Speak.'

[d10]

I would take on an elephant/tiger tag team in any of the above situations. Given the revolver you could throw the lion in there too.

[mostsmooth]

regardless of the naysayers, id take any of them on with a bat. id like to know where all this "fighting animals with a bat" expertise came from

[Sheepscot]

a) cat
b) dolphin. although a kangaroo might be fun if it just hops around
c) ostrich if I can fight it on the beach.

[swede123]

[ QUOTE ]
regardless of the naysayers, id take any of them on with a bat. id like to know where all this "fighting animals with a bat" expertise came from

[/ QUOTE ]

For one people just don't realize how tough animals are compared to us wimpy humans. A horse is freakin' huge. There is no way you'd be able to hurt it enough with a bat to prevent it from tearing you up. Same with all the bigger animals of course. Regarding a wolf, have you ever seen a wolf up close? They are huge, and pretty much trained killing machines. I'd be willing to chance it with the gun vs. cat, dog, horse and probably wolf. I might be willing against a lion or tiger IF it was a very large caliber gun, like a .455 or .500 S&W. I wouldn't want to face a grizzly, or elephant with anything less than a high caliber rifle.

Swede

[phil_ivey_fan]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Uh what kind of dog?

[/ QUOTE ]

The worse dogs you would want to be attacked by probably range from Mastiff (take your pick of variety), Wolf Hybrid, Argentian Dogo, Japaneese Tosa Inu, Rottweiler, large German Sheperd, Great Dane, to name a few.
Unless you were some sort of bear wrestler you would need a baseball bat or a knife at minimum to defend yourself against these.

http://www.traffordphotos.com/assets/images/9T065D-098.jpg

[/ QUOTE ]


i'd fight that dog if I could use a weapon... my choice would be a screw driver lodged in the side of its head. that's what I'd like to do to our pledges right now who are cleaning our house blaring the house speakers and the game isnt for another 8 hours... GO JACKETS!! favored by 14 if I recall...but I'm not a gambling man HAHAHAHAHA

[joeski19]

I think I could take a 80 lbs or less dog with my bare hands. Sure I'm going to tore up pretty bad, but I think I could kill it.

[fyodor]

[ QUOTE ]
Reasonable-size bear

[/ QUOTE ]

almost pissed myself when I read this choice.

btw pretty much anyone can be taught how to take down just about any dog in the world with their bare hands

[gabbahh]

I'd fight:
whales
sharks
and other fish

I'll only fight Jackals and Elephants with a good read.

[jakethebake]

[ QUOTE ]
I think it would. A clean blow to the head should be able to take out most animals horse size and smaller. If you think you can get that shot in though may be a different question.

[/ QUOTE ]

Good luck getting a clean blow to the head when he's up on his hind legs kicking you to death.

[touchfaith]

Mothra


http://www.gamefreaks.net/defrag/crd/godzilla/mothra_3.jpg

[jakethebake]

[ QUOTE ]
A) wolf and all below

[/ QUOTE ]

You would have no shot against a wolf.

[jakethebake]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
No way I could take a horse, a bull is a definite possibility, with a bit of luck.

[/ QUOTE ]

I'm sorry, this makes absolutely no sense to me.

[/ QUOTE ]

[jakethebake]

[ QUOTE ]
Mothra

[/ QUOTE ]

With or w/o a bat?

giraffe or manatee

[ QUOTE ]
No way I could take a horse, a bull is a definite possibility, with a bit of luck.
[ QUOTE ]
I'm sorry, this makes absolutely no sense to me.

[/ QUOTE ]

[/ QUOTE ]

You saying a horse wouldn't kick your ass faster than a bull? I spent 7 years growing up on a farm, I'll take a mad bull any day over a pissed horse. [censored] that [censored], horses are dangerous, you wouldn't even get a decent shot in.

Bulls have some vulnerable spots, the eyes can be bashed and bloodied, a good crack over the shoulder blades will send them wonky for a while. Hit em right over the bridge of the nose and it'll f em up. Only the tops of their heads are the real solid bone. Plus they're predictable as [censored], they go into a blind rage and attack everything, but they're not very fast or agile. They don't deliberately trample or kick...the only real danger is the horns, which can be avoided. Whereas a horse'll rear up and [censored] you up in no time, or go on mad bucking fest and kick the [censored] out of you. Plus the good ones bite. You won't even get a shot in with a horse before you're a bloody heap on the ground.

I think the only thing you need to defeat a bull with a baseball bat (provided you're very fit and agile) is a large ring and a few obstacles. I'd give 90/10 to kill the mofo with obstacles in the ring, 50/50 with an open ring that was large enough (say 20 paces diameter), 10/90 in the bull's favor if it was boxing ring size with no obstacles

[SomethingClever]

Depends on what kind of revolver we have.

One of these?
http://pydracor.shitrockerz.de/Desert%20Eagle%20o.%20Blitz.jpg

I'll take everything up to the wolf with a deagle... but I'd be nervous about missing that damn thing 3 times.

Of course, give me unlimited ammo and it's on with any of these bad boys.

[CaptSensible]

A. Kitten
B. Harp Seal
C. Dolphin

[theben]

unarmed: none (i assume cat also includes the "big" cats, such as mountain lions)

bat: up to a wolf

gun: up to lion/tiger, but not a bear

[Ass Master]

An unarmed man in direct combat against a gorilla would have at most a 0% chance. He would be no match for an adult chimp as well. I think he would probably also be in bad shape against a baboon.

[ QUOTE ]
An unarmed man in direct combat against a gorilla would have at most a 0% chance. He would be no match for an adult chimp as well. I think he would probably also be in bad shape against a baboon.

[/ QUOTE ]

What if he was trained in kung fu?

[GuyOnTilt]

The biggest mother [censored] blue whale he could find.

GoT

[mostsmooth]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
An unarmed man in direct combat against a gorilla would have at most a 0% chance. He would be no match for an adult chimp as well. I think he would probably also be in bad shape against a baboon.

[/ QUOTE ]

What if he was trained in kung fu?

[/ QUOTE ]
if the gorilla would win already, it wouldnt even be funny if he knew kung fu. but then again, ive never heard of a gorilla that knew kung fu, sign language yes, kung fu , no.

[Ass Master]

Even if he were a Tae-Bo master the sheer physical strength of a mere chimp along with their generally superior agility would mean 1 mistake and he's a goner.
Link (http://answers.google.com/answers/threadview?id=559145)
Link (http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a1_001b.html)

Regarding gorilla strength:
Link (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gorilla)