So me and my girlfriend of 4 years took a break today...

[WackityWhiz]

It was her idea, really sucks... do any of you have positive experiences from taking a break with your partner? I'd give a little bit more background, but I'm really depressed and I don't really want to explain it atm.

fwiw, crying sucks

[mason55]

Let her go. If it's true love she'll come back. If she doesn't it was never meant to be.

FWIW last time a girl told me she wanted to take a break I told her to [censored] off and dumped her. Can't let them wear the pants.

[jakethebake]

For God's sake! No more nagging. You can hit all the strange you want! She did you a favor!

[JMP300z]

If you really want her, fight for her, leave your self vulnerable for her, do whatever it takes.

Lots of times this [censored] could just be a test or one of those "where are we going" things.

-JP

Edit: Enjoy the freedom!!!!

[LethalRose]

4 years? holy crap, i would of married her by now.

[HopeydaFish]

You need to kill her so that nobody else can have her. Only then will you find peace.

[Slow Play Ray]

I've never "taken a break" without it becoming an official breakup within a couple of weeks. I'd say expect the worst, hope for the best. Sucks though - sorry man, we've all been there.

[LethalRose]

taking a break = lets slowly break up while im banging a guy on the side.

[jakethebake]

[ QUOTE ]
taking a break = lets slowly break up while im banging a guy on the side.

[/ QUOTE ]

DING DING DING

[JordanIB]

[ QUOTE ]


FWIW last time a girl told me she wanted to take a break I told her to [censored] off and dumped her. Can't let them wear the pants.

[/ QUOTE ]

Ummm...no you didn't, because she had just dumped you.

[mason55]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]


FWIW last time a girl told me she wanted to take a break I told her to [censored] off and dumped her. Can't let them wear the pants.

[/ QUOTE ]

Ummm...no you didn't, because she had just dumped you.

[/ QUOTE ]

Meh... it was long distance. She spent a week convincing me not to break up with her for good. She cried a lot. I think that it was probably a push.

[WackityWhiz]

[ QUOTE ]
taking a break = lets slowly break up while im banging a guy on the side.

[/ QUOTE ]

eh i highly doubt that... I was her first boyfriend (we're 20). I really don't think there is another guy. We have been fighting constantly lately and I'm sure this is for the best. In the back of my mind I think we will get back together.

She just has issues with my gambling. She hates poker and the other day I told her that if I can make 6 figures playing, then I'm going to do this until it dries up or I retire. I'm still in school but she still says she can't date a person who gambles for their job.

She is really jealous, like her best friend and I are friends and my girlfriend gets really jealous when her friend calls me. Like really jealous... when there is no need to be. Iuno, we just have been fighting a lot and our relationship has sucked.

It's just that it's 4 years... for as long as I can remember, it's been me and her. It's weird not having her there, and i don't really know what to do.

I have no experience whatsoever in getting chicks. I had an 18 month relationship right when I was a freshman in high school, broke up with her and 2 months later got together with this chick. So I might have to come back here to get some advice from you guys on how to get some tail, cuz I haven't had to work for it in 4 years...

[zephed]

Why did she want to take a break?

That seems cruel. If she wants someone else she should have the balls to dump you.

[Alobar]

sorry dude, its over /images/graemlins/frown.gif

[zephed]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
taking a break = lets slowly break up while im banging a guy on the side.

[/ QUOTE ]

eh i highly doubt that... I was her first boyfriend (we're 20). I really don't think there is another guy. We have been fighting constantly lately and I'm sure this is for the best. In the back of my mind I think we will get back together.

She just has issues with my gambling. She hates poker and the other day I told her that if I can make 6 figures playing, then I'm going to do this until it dries up or I retire. I'm still in school but she still says she can't date a person who gambles for their job.

She is really jealous, like her best friend and I are friends and my girlfriend gets really jealous when her friend calls me. Like really jealous... when there is no need to be. Iuno, we just have been fighting a lot and our relationship has sucked.

It's just that it's 4 years... for as long as I can remember, it's been me and her. It's weird not having her there, and i don't really know what to do.

I have no experience whatsoever in getting chicks. I had an 18 month relationship right when I was a freshman in high school, broke up with her and 2 months later got together with this chick. So I might have to come back here to get some advice from you guys on how to get some tail, cuz I haven't had to work for it in 4 years...

[/ QUOTE ]
[censored] her friend.

[SCfuji]

[ QUOTE ]
She is really jealous, like her best friend and I are friends and my girlfriend gets really jealous when her friend calls me. Like really jealous...

[/ QUOTE ]

time to start hooking up with the best friend.

[Alobar]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
taking a break = lets slowly break up while im banging a guy on the side.

[/ QUOTE ]

eh i highly doubt that... I was her first boyfriend (we're 20). I really don't think there is another guy. We have been fighting constantly lately and I'm sure this is for the best. In the back of my mind I think we will get back together.

She just has issues with my gambling. She hates poker and the other day I told her that if I can make 6 figures playing, then I'm going to do this until it dries up or I retire. I'm still in school but she still says she can't date a person who gambles for their job.

She is really jealous, like her best friend and I are friends and my girlfriend gets really jealous when her friend calls me. Like really jealous... when there is no need to be. Iuno, we just have been fighting a lot and our relationship has sucked.

It's just that it's 4 years... for as long as I can remember, it's been me and her. It's weird not having her there, and i don't really know what to do.

I have no experience whatsoever in getting chicks. I had an 18 month relationship right when I was a freshman in high school, broke up with her and 2 months later got together with this chick. So I might have to come back here to get some advice from you guys on how to get some tail, cuz I haven't had to work for it in 4 years...

[/ QUOTE ]

oh [censored] dude, I just read this. You are waaaaay better off man. 4 years and you are her first boyfriend, its a good thing its ending. Most people are waaaaay better off if they dont end up with their first love. And if you are with someone for 4 years and you arent married, more often than not its never going to work.

move on, find some chick who is more with what youa re about. Bang lots of girls, and enjoy your freedom. Yeah its scary you have to face the world without your security blanket, but in about a year youll look back and be glad as hell this ended.

[HopeydaFish]

[ QUOTE ]
I have no experience whatsoever in getting chicks. I had an 18 month relationship right when I was a freshman in high school, broke up with her and 2 months later got together with this chick. So I might have to come back here to get some advice from you guys on how to get some tail, cuz I haven't had to work for it in 4 years...

[/ QUOTE ]

Hmmm...and OOT seems like a good place to get such advice? You must still be in shock from the break-up.

[WackityWhiz]

[ QUOTE ]
oh [censored] dude, I just read this. You are waaaaay better off man. 4 years and you are her first boyfriend, its a good thing its ending. Most people are waaaaay better off if they dont end up with their first love. And if you are with someone for 4 years and you arent married, more often than not its never going to work.

move on, find some chick who is more with what youa re about. Bang lots of girls, and enjoy your freedom. Yeah its scary you have to face the world without your security blanket, but in about a year youll look back and be glad as hell this ended.

[/ QUOTE ]

this made me feel 500% better, thanks man.. I think that's what I'm thinking on the inside, I just can't get myself to believe it.

and yes, it's going to be kinda 'scary' w/o a girlfriend for a while

[JordanIB]

[ QUOTE ]
And if you are with someone for 4 years and you arent married, more often than not its never going to work.

[/ QUOTE ]

He's 20.

[zokbarjazz]

[ QUOTE ]
oh [censored] dude, I just read this. You are waaaaay better off man. 4 years and you are her first boyfriend, its a good thing its ending. Most people are waaaaay better off if they dont end up with their first love. And if you are with someone for 4 years and you arent married, more often than not its never going to work.

move on, find some chick who is more with what youa re about. Bang lots of girls, and enjoy your freedom. Yeah its scary you have to face the world without your security blanket, but in about a year youll look back and be glad as hell this ended.

[/ QUOTE ]
spot-on. it'll take time, but when you look back you'll shake your head and smile at how you feel right now. then you'll go out with your friends, pick up a girl, and get laid.

[A_C_Slater]

I bet she's attending a bukkake party at this very moment.

[LethalRose]

My cousin dated this girl for 4-5 years. They eventually broke up when she wanted to try new things. Girls dont like to settle down without seeing what else is out there. you should have the same attitude

[Brad22]

[ QUOTE ]
Lots of times this [censored] could just be a test or one of those "where are we going" things.

[/ QUOTE ]

This is not a test. In 4 years, the girl has tested you plenty. Her interest has dropped, and she wants to be without you right now.


[ QUOTE ]

eh i highly doubt that... I was her first boyfriend (we're 20). I really don't think there is another guy.

[/ QUOTE ]

If there was another guy, you would not know it. She could be with another guy, or just testing the waters.

Point is - Her interest has dropped, and the long-term relationship is prob gone b/c of this. If you truly don't belive it, then you have to get the power back. No phone calls, no affection, and tell her you've been seeing other girls as well. Don't be an ass, and be respectful, but act like your happy now, even when she's not around. Give off this impression.

You definitely like this girl from the tone of your posts, but you need to take the power back in the relationship - You gotta qualify her now - let her work to date you again, and make it seem like you are not sure if you want to get back together.

[Rearden]

[ QUOTE ]
I bet she's attending a bukkake party at this very moment.

[/ QUOTE ]

POTD

[JMP300z]

Didnt realize you were only 20... i mean seriously in 2 yrs youll look back at who you were when you were dating her and laugh. You wont even be the same person. Youll be more experienced and wiser.

-JP

[WackityWhiz]

[ QUOTE ]
Didnt realize you were only 20... i mean seriously in 2 yrs youll look back at who you were when you were dating her and laugh. You wont even be the same person. Youll be more experienced and wiser.

-JP

[/ QUOTE ]

thx

what do I do if she calls me? What do I do if she wants to get back together?

Is it too late for that to work or what?

[TripleH68]

You are very young. Both of you need to date other people.
And you will meet someone else. That's it.

I truly thought there was no way I could live without my first love. We met sophomore year in college, then she transferred across the country for junior year. I was completely devastated. She told me "we are very young and you will meet other people." She was right. What was her name again?

[JMP300z]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Didnt realize you were only 20... i mean seriously in 2 yrs youll look back at who you were when you were dating her and laugh. You wont even be the same person. Youll be more experienced and wiser.

-JP

[/ QUOTE ]

thx

what do I do if she calls me? What do I do if she wants to get back together?

Is it too late for that to work or what?

[/ QUOTE ]

Marrying your high school sweetheart is an exception not a rule. Im not capable of judging how great you two were together. The problem is, neither are you. Maybe your friends or even your parents can help you with this.

If she calls, stay close but Let her know that you cant just go back to being the way it was though.

As much as it sucks, maybe talk to her about where you would see the relationship going.

Obviously dating around, sleeping around etc is important for your development as a human friggin being so dont neglect it unless you really have somethin worth giving that up for. This of course is near impossible to tell w/o comparison. Catch 22.

-JP

[webmonarch]

I had a very similar situation. With a girl for three years and broke up in the college years. Personally, I think it was a good thing as I look back on it. I'm still friends with her, and I would lie if I said I never had "twinges" but in the end, I know that we never would have made it through our whole lives together. Case in point: she divorced her first husband after 13 months with him.

It sucks, I know. Worse, it won't get better soon, but I assure you that this is an experience that you'll consider to be very valuable.

Finally, if she can't support what you do, how is this ever going to be a good match?

[nothumb]

[ QUOTE ]
thx

what do I do if she calls me? What do I do if she wants to get back together?

Is it too late for that to work or what?

[/ QUOTE ]

I think if you're lucky this girl could end up being a really good friend to you. She knows you very well and you can probably trust her enough to talk about a lot of different things. It sounds like she really can't deal with the stuff that you want to do with your life, so that's not something you can change. Either she changes her mind or you stop playing poker, else it's not going to happen.

I wouldn't stretch yourself too far for this girl. You can have some very frank conversations right now about where you see yourself in a relationship years down the road. The two of you will probably stay friends, possibly even stay close and if you're compatible, it's not out of the question things can change down the road. But you have to do your own thing for a while and be confident that you'll end up in a good spot.

NT

[RRRRICK]

I was with a girl for 5 years, took a break which led to breakup. Got back together one year later and got engaged.

So it can work out well in the end............ahh actually wedding got called off 2 months from the day.

A break is a break up without the up.

[Cunning Linguist]

I'm 23. My girlfriend of 5 years decided we should take a 'break' back in May. I was going to try to write a whole bunch of crap to comfort you, but when I think about it there really isn't anything comforting I can offer. It really blows.

The best advice i can give you is this... Forget about her.

Even if you don't want to, you absolutely must do it for your own sake. If it was meant to work itself out, it will. Every day you spend holding on to what you had (or might have had) with her is time you should be using to put her behind you.

It really [censored] sucks when 3 months pass by and you realize that you still miss her as much as the day it happened because you couldn't let go. Trust me I know.

[pokerdirty]

[ QUOTE ]
For God's sake! No more nagging. You can hit all the strange you want! She did you a favor!

[/ QUOTE ]

this comes from the married man...

[JayLear]

[ QUOTE ]
taking a break = string you along as my backup plan while I test drive another dude.

[/ QUOTE ]

[Alobar]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Didnt realize you were only 20... i mean seriously in 2 yrs youll look back at who you were when you were dating her and laugh. You wont even be the same person. Youll be more experienced and wiser.

-JP

[/ QUOTE ]

thx

what do I do if she calls me? What do I do if she wants to get back together?

Is it too late for that to work or what?

[/ QUOTE ]

Honesty, If you guys are fighting all the time, and she is completely agaisnt what you do, its not going to work if you guys try and get back together. You cant change who she is, and you shouldnt have to change who you are. You guys will still have all the same problems you have now, nothing will haev changed. Its going to be tempting to get back with her, because like you said, its going to be scary facing the world alone, shes going to feel the same way. But if you get back together thats just what its going to be. Then it will just drag out for a little while longer and then prolly end again.

Like Nothumb said, hopefully you guys will end up as really good freinds. Obviously there is alot of things you both realy like about each other, else you wouldnt have been together for 4 years. And who knows, maybe someday far down the road, you end up together again (but not likely, and dont spend time thinking about it). You may have to not be friends for a while and get over each other, before you can be friends again, but thats fine too.

You both are young and each others first big relationships, your totally inexperienced. Look at this as an opportunity thats been given to you, not something to fear. Dont just jump into the next relationship that presents itself, go out, have lots of fun, meet new people, bang some new girls, enjoy being young and single. Be safe, and youll have the best [censored] time of your life.

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
taking a break = lets slowly break up while im banging a guy on the side.

[/ QUOTE ]

eh i highly doubt that... I was her first boyfriend (we're 20). I really don't think there is another guy. We have been fighting constantly lately and I'm sure this is for the best. In the back of my mind I think we will get back together.

She just has issues with my gambling. She hates poker and the other day I told her that if I can make 6 figures playing, then I'm going to do this until it dries up or I retire. I'm still in school but she still says she can't date a person who gambles for their job.

She is really jealous, like her best friend and I are friends and my girlfriend gets really jealous when her friend calls me. Like really jealous... when there is no need to be. Iuno, we just have been fighting a lot and our relationship has sucked.

It's just that it's 4 years... for as long as I can remember, it's been me and her. It's weird not having her there, and i don't really know what to do.

I have no experience whatsoever in getting chicks. I had an 18 month relationship right when I was a freshman in high school, broke up with her and 2 months later got together with this chick. So I might have to come back here to get some advice from you guys on how to get some tail, cuz I haven't had to work for it in 4 years...

[/ QUOTE ]

oh [censored] dude, I just read this. You are waaaaay better off man. 4 years and you are her first boyfriend, its a good thing its ending. Most people are waaaaay better off if they dont end up with their first love. And if you are with someone for 4 years and you arent married, more often than not its never going to work.

move on, find some chick who is more with what youa re about. Bang lots of girls, and enjoy your freedom. Yeah its scary you have to face the world without your security blanket, but in about a year youll look back and be glad as hell this ended.

[/ QUOTE ]

Yep, he is exactly right, as usual.

[WackityWhiz]

[ QUOTE ]
Loc: I rule

[/ QUOTE ]

yes... yes you do

appreciate it guys, I feel much better

[Edge34]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
taking a break = lets slowly break up while im banging a guy on the side.

[/ QUOTE ]

DING DING DING

[/ QUOTE ]

Word, brother. Word.

[siccjay]

[ QUOTE ]
For God's sake! No more nagging. You can hit all the strange you want! She did you a favor!

[/ QUOTE ]

Once you believe this, getting her back will be easy. You may not even like her as much as you thought.

[Alobar is right]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
taking a break = lets slowly break up while im banging a guy on the side.

[/ QUOTE ]

eh i highly doubt that... I was her first boyfriend (we're 20). I really don't think there is another guy. We have been fighting constantly lately and I'm sure this is for the best. In the back of my mind I think we will get back together.

She just has issues with my gambling. She hates poker and the other day I told her that if I can make 6 figures playing, then I'm going to do this until it dries up or I retire. I'm still in school but she still says she can't date a person who gambles for their job.

She is really jealous, like her best friend and I are friends and my girlfriend gets really jealous when her friend calls me. Like really jealous... when there is no need to be. Iuno, we just have been fighting a lot and our relationship has sucked.

It's just that it's 4 years... for as long as I can remember, it's been me and her. It's weird not having her there, and i don't really know what to do.

I have no experience whatsoever in getting chicks. I had an 18 month relationship right when I was a freshman in high school, broke up with her and 2 months later got together with this chick. So I might have to come back here to get some advice from you guys on how to get some tail, cuz I haven't had to work for it in 4 years...

[/ QUOTE ]

oh [censored] dude, I just read this. You are waaaaay better off man. 4 years and you are her first boyfriend, its a good thing its ending. Most people are waaaaay better off if they dont end up with their first love. And if you are with someone for 4 years and you arent married, more often than not its never going to work.

move on, find some chick who is more with what youa re about. Bang lots of girls, and enjoy your freedom. Yeah its scary you have to face the world without your security blanket, but in about a year youll look back and be glad as hell this ended.

[/ QUOTE ]

Yep, he is exactly right, as usual.

[/ QUOTE ]
He's mine, bitch!

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
taking a break = lets slowly break up while im banging a guy on the side.

[/ QUOTE ]

eh i highly doubt that... I was her first boyfriend (we're 20). I really don't think there is another guy. We have been fighting constantly lately and I'm sure this is for the best. In the back of my mind I think we will get back together.

She just has issues with my gambling. She hates poker and the other day I told her that if I can make 6 figures playing, then I'm going to do this until it dries up or I retire. I'm still in school but she still says she can't date a person who gambles for their job.

She is really jealous, like her best friend and I are friends and my girlfriend gets really jealous when her friend calls me. Like really jealous... when there is no need to be. Iuno, we just have been fighting a lot and our relationship has sucked.

It's just that it's 4 years... for as long as I can remember, it's been me and her. It's weird not having her there, and i don't really know what to do.

I have no experience whatsoever in getting chicks. I had an 18 month relationship right when I was a freshman in high school, broke up with her and 2 months later got together with this chick. So I might have to come back here to get some advice from you guys on how to get some tail, cuz I haven't had to work for it in 4 years...

[/ QUOTE ]

oh [censored] dude, I just read this. You are waaaaay better off man. 4 years and you are her first boyfriend, its a good thing its ending. Most people are waaaaay better off if they dont end up with their first love. And if you are with someone for 4 years and you arent married, more often than not its never going to work.

move on, find some chick who is more with what youa re about. Bang lots of girls, and enjoy your freedom. Yeah its scary you have to face the world without your security blanket, but in about a year youll look back and be glad as hell this ended.

[/ QUOTE ]

Yep, he is exactly right, as usual.

[/ QUOTE ]
He's mine, bitch!

[/ QUOTE ]

7 posts? He has probably been right more than 7 times in this thread alone. You have been slacking bro.

[Alobar is right]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
taking a break = lets slowly break up while im banging a guy on the side.

[/ QUOTE ]

eh i highly doubt that... I was her first boyfriend (we're 20). I really don't think there is another guy. We have been fighting constantly lately and I'm sure this is for the best. In the back of my mind I think we will get back together.

She just has issues with my gambling. She hates poker and the other day I told her that if I can make 6 figures playing, then I'm going to do this until it dries up or I retire. I'm still in school but she still says she can't date a person who gambles for their job.

She is really jealous, like her best friend and I are friends and my girlfriend gets really jealous when her friend calls me. Like really jealous... when there is no need to be. Iuno, we just have been fighting a lot and our relationship has sucked.

It's just that it's 4 years... for as long as I can remember, it's been me and her. It's weird not having her there, and i don't really know what to do.

I have no experience whatsoever in getting chicks. I had an 18 month relationship right when I was a freshman in high school, broke up with her and 2 months later got together with this chick. So I might have to come back here to get some advice from you guys on how to get some tail, cuz I haven't had to work for it in 4 years...

[/ QUOTE ]

oh [censored] dude, I just read this. You are waaaaay better off man. 4 years and you are her first boyfriend, its a good thing its ending. Most people are waaaaay better off if they dont end up with their first love. And if you are with someone for 4 years and you arent married, more often than not its never going to work.

move on, find some chick who is more with what youa re about. Bang lots of girls, and enjoy your freedom. Yeah its scary you have to face the world without your security blanket, but in about a year youll look back and be glad as hell this ended.

[/ QUOTE ]

Yep, he is exactly right, as usual.

[/ QUOTE ]
He's mine, bitch!

[/ QUOTE ]

7 posts? He has probably been right more than 7 times in this thread alone. You have been slacking bro.

[/ QUOTE ]
That's lame. Alobar would not approve of an overused gimmick account.

[smokingrobot]

i had the same thing with a gf of 4.5 yrs. and i'll end this here because the rest of the story doesnt bring any good news.

but it doesnt mean that for everyone.

[smokingrobot]

i attempted that and ended up doing the stupidest things of my life.

pretty much left my pride at the door, and now i wish i didnt.

[FishNChips]

[ QUOTE ]

I was her first boyfriend (we're 20). I really don't think there is another guy. We have been fighting constantly lately and I'm sure this is for the best. In the back of my mind I think we will get back together.


[/ QUOTE ]
It is for the best regardless of getting back together or not. Just so you know it is possible though... my wife and I dated off and on all through college. We were engaged in college and broke it off (she did the breaking). At the end of 4yrs I graduated, she had a year left. I got a job near where we went to school and for the first month of her last year we were together.. then I broke it off. We didn't communicate for 2 years until a mutual friend got us back in touch. We were married about a year later.... 7yrs of marriage and its awesome. Anyhow, just because you broke up (and really, you guys should call it what it is or else you'll totally [censored] it up because one person will assume "on a break" means one thing (I can bang whoever I want) and the other will assume something else (you can't bang whoever you want) so call it a breakup and move on) doesn't mean it won't ever happen. Just don't expect it to, and don't live like your waiting for it to.


[ QUOTE ]
She just has issues with my gambling. She hates poker and the other day I told her that if I can make 6 figures playing, then I'm going to do this until it dries up or I retire. I'm still in school but she still says she can't date a person who gambles for their job.

[/ QUOTE ]
this is actually a huge problem and you guys aren't going to be able to overcome it. Either she lets the moralist [censored] go or you give up p*k#r, but don't get back together with her unless one of you is willing to give in on this.

[ QUOTE ]
She is really jealous, like her best friend and I are friends and my girlfriend gets really jealous when her friend calls me. Like really jealous... when there is no need to be. Iuno, we just have been fighting a lot and our relationship has sucked.

[/ QUOTE ]
20yr old chicks are often insecure/jealous. Your brief description makes her seem much more so than normal. Don't get back with her unless she deals with this. Either that or bang her friend so she'll be totally jacked up for every other guy that dates her for the rest of her life, now that would be fun.

[ QUOTE ]
It's just that it's 4 years... for as long as I can remember, it's been me and her. It's weird not having her there, and i don't really know what to do.

I have no experience whatsoever in getting chicks. I had an 18 month relationship right when I was a freshman in high school, broke up with her and 2 months later got together with this chick. So I might have to come back here to get some advice from you guys on how to get some tail, cuz I haven't had to work for it in 4 years...

[/ QUOTE ]
you'll figure it out .. and don't use OOT as "how to get tail"... use it for the porn links when you can't get the tail.

FishNChips

[diebitter]

[ QUOTE ]
Use OOT as "how to get tail"

[/ QUOTE ]
FYP

[WichitaDM]

All i can say is that i have been thru this before. I dated a girl for 4 yrs from 17-21. We broke up, and spent the next 6 months getting back together etc, then it eventually fell apart again. She didnt like who i was as a person, and frankly i didnt like who she had become as a person. We tried to keep it together because we loved and cared about each other but in the end our incompatibility was the real reason for the breakup. Now i look back at it and wonder why i dated her so long. I still miss her occasionally and it was very hard to get over, but in the end its for the best.
My life would be totally different if i had stayed with her, I would be humping some corporate desk job instead of in grad school makin plenty of money playing poker.
My advice from all this is that you are a good person, and that there is someone out there that is who you need whether it is her or someone else. Dont try and force it to happen or dwell on it anymore than you have to. Go out party drink, smoke etc to try and do something fun to get past it. It will take months and probably years, but its far better than being unhappy in a relationship the rest of ur life(if you are unhappy). Ultimately you will find out that either you guys are meant to be or not, and there is probably little you can change to affect that being that most people are who they are.

[InchoateHand]

Honestly, breaks don't work. If you need to take a break, something is broken, and its highly unlikely to be fixed.


On a lighter note, you could always post some photos and start a myspace entry.

[M2d]

[ QUOTE ]
what do I do if she calls me?

[/ QUOTE ]
"why are you calling me? I thought we were taking a break."

[ QUOTE ]
What do I do if she wants to get back together?


[/ QUOTE ]
you can take her back or not, but she has to earn it. if she wants back make it be like starting over. no more assumed chores that you've been doing. no more assumed help that youve been giving her. plus, she has to lose those 10 "relationship" pounds that girls in a ltr seem to gain after year 1.

Welcome to the jungle, are you reaaaady to dIeeeeeeeeee?!?!

[Lawrence Ng]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
taking a break = lets slowly break up while im banging a guy on the side.

[/ QUOTE ]

DING DING DING

[/ QUOTE ]

Very true.

Lawrence

[Lawrence Ng]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
taking a break = lets slowly break up while im banging a guy on the side.

[/ QUOTE ]

eh i highly doubt that... I was her first boyfriend (we're 20). I really don't think there is another guy. We have been fighting constantly lately and I'm sure this is for the best. In the back of my mind I think we will get back together.

She just has issues with my gambling. She hates poker and the other day I told her that if I can make 6 figures playing, then I'm going to do this until it dries up or I retire. I'm still in school but she still says she can't date a person who gambles for their job.

She is really jealous, like her best friend and I are friends and my girlfriend gets really jealous when her friend calls me. Like really jealous... when there is no need to be. Iuno, we just have been fighting a lot and our relationship has sucked.

It's just that it's 4 years... for as long as I can remember, it's been me and her. It's weird not having her there, and i don't really know what to do.

I have no experience whatsoever in getting chicks. I had an 18 month relationship right when I was a freshman in high school, broke up with her and 2 months later got together with this chick. So I might have to come back here to get some advice from you guys on how to get some tail, cuz I haven't had to work for it in 4 years...

[/ QUOTE ]

You are either in real denial or just blindly stupid.

Lawrence

Time to move on. She's flakey. Plenty of nice, stable girls out there if you look hard enough.

[Amid Cent]

WORM: You know what cheers me up when I'm feeling shitty?
MIKE: What?
WORM: Rolled up aces over kings.
MIKE: Is that right?
WORM: Yeah. Check-raising stupid tourists and taking huge pots off of them.
MIKE: Yeah?
WORM: Stacks and towers of checks I can't even see over. Playing all-night high-limit Hold'em at the Taj, "where the sand turns to gold."
MIKE: F*** it, let's go.
WORM: Don't tease me.
MIKE: Let's play some f***in' cards.

[ddubois]

I'm surprised at the lack of a Ross/Rachel reference in this thread.

[willie]

yeah, been there

break just ended

she just got nuts with a syndrome i call post collegiate stress disorder

grad from school, no set job and started panicking about the future

she seems to have settled down now (3 months break or so) and things are basically back to normal

we're still geographically seperated- but i think she began to realize how ridiculously beautiful and pure of a thing she was throwing away and re-attached to it.....

i'm ok with that.

[Aloysius]

Just started readin OOT - sincerely want to thank all you degenerates out there for making my work day a little lighter...

"HopeydaFish" post made me laugh incredibly hard.

OP - sorry man - been there (a 4-year and >4 year relationship) - it's done. But it's for the best.. gl.

[GuyOnTilt]

[ QUOTE ]
If it's true love she'll come back. If she doesn't it was never meant to be.

[/ QUOTE ]

I hate advice like this, in all aspects of life.

GoT

[masse75]

Listen to REO Speedwagon. I'm sure they wrote a song about this.

[masse75]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
taking a break = lets slowly break up while im banging a guy on the side.

[/ QUOTE ]

eh i highly doubt that... I was her first boyfriend (we're 20). I really don't think there is another guy. We have been fighting constantly lately and I'm sure this is for the best. In the back of my mind I think we will get back together.

She just has issues with my gambling. She hates poker and the other day I told her that if I can make 6 figures playing, then I'm going to do this until it dries up or I retire. I'm still in school but she still says she can't date a person who gambles for their job.

She is really jealous, like her best friend and I are friends and my girlfriend gets really jealous when her friend calls me. Like really jealous... when there is no need to be. Iuno, we just have been fighting a lot and our relationship has sucked.

It's just that it's 4 years... for as long as I can remember, it's been me and her. It's weird not having her there, and i don't really know what to do.

I have no experience whatsoever in getting chicks. I had an 18 month relationship right when I was a freshman in high school, broke up with her and 2 months later got together with this chick. So I might have to come back here to get some advice from you guys on how to get some tail, cuz I haven't had to work for it in 4 years...

[/ QUOTE ]
[censored] her friend.and videotape it

[/ QUOTE ]

FYP

That sucks. I got the same thing a few weeks back, I'm still in the middle of it. The conversation went a little something like this:

Her: I think we should take a break
Me: Can we be less serious boyfriend/girlfriend
Her: Um...
Me: F___ Buddies?
Her: Um...
Me: Friends with benefits?
Her: Um...
Me: Acquaintances who have sex occasionally?
Her: Um...

I have three of my four classes with her, so we can't really get away from each other. Since then I've talked to her everyday spend 3 nights a week with her and even had sex with her a few times.

My only advice is don't be a whiny, needy little b_____. Most girls aren't into that. You won't get very far with pity or making them feel like you need them. Try to be a man about it, I know it's not easy, I wish I could.

[MarkL444]

im not a big relationship advice giver but here goes:

i dont know you, but it sounds like you guys are basically just inexperienced with relationships. you had found a comfortable situation and stuck with it, apparently for too long. you dont really know change so it must be even scarier right now. you've never had to deal with break-up, getting over someone, dating other women that arent her (whatever her name). i think your reaction is pretty natural.

you mentioned that you think you will end up back together. of course this is what you are going to think, but you shouldn't have any expectations. this probably isnt going to work out the way you are hoping.

eventually you will end up with someone who is better for you. it may not seem like it, but you will. i suggest you don't try to be friends with your current. it will be tough having her leave your life completely, but having her around will be too hard.

everything will work out eventually.

[KaneKungFu123]

[ QUOTE ]
I bet she's attending a bukkake party at this very moment.

[/ QUOTE ]

do you ever not make a brilliant post?

[willie]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
If it's true love she'll come back. If she doesn't it was never meant to be.

[/ QUOTE ]

I hate advice like this, in all aspects of life.

GoT

[/ QUOTE ]

i as well, i tend to embrace free will and hate people with stupid ass fate based advice.....

it's choice, if you both work on it together it can work- for her to say "oh it wasn't meant to be" is just a complete cop-out.

[PITTM]

what is your avatar?

rj

[PITTM]

i dated a girl for 2 years at the end of high school and we decided to "take a break" when i went away to college. i was crushed at first, but when i went away to school i met a lot of new people and i enjoyed it quite a bit. now i look back and am soooo glad we broke up, she sucks, i am glad that we took a break so i could get out of our relationship and and find out how many possibilities there are. /images/graemlins/grin.gif

rj

[meleader2]

[ QUOTE ]
It was her idea, really sucks... do any of you have positive experiences from taking a break with your partner? I'd give a little bit more background, but I'm really depressed and I don't really want to explain it atm.

fwiw, crying sucks

[/ QUOTE ]

this thread is too long to browse for repeats, but in my experience, every break has ended up being because she cheated on me with the jerk off guy from her work place that could show a 70% level of interest in the things she did, just enough to get in her pants. girls are dumb, and -EV.

[Duke]

[ QUOTE ]
In the back of my mind I think we will get back together.

[/ QUOTE ]

Do not think that.

~D

Well im gonna have to disagree, becuz u wouldnt be sad and crying over this girl if u wanted to break up, and if u really wanted to get with other girls this breakup wouldnt be that big a deal. im literally in the exact same boat, and basically my female gets attached to me, we spend time apart and she starts thinking about the future, gets scared, and then we fight. she wants to be more free and i really dont care if we arent together. dont cheapen good things by hooking up with random sluts that you dont even like. if u ask me, u will regret it and it will only hurt all parties involved. thats just my two cents aight good luck.

[WackityWhiz]

We are going to talk about our relationship on Sunday I guess. I think it's about 85% that we'll get back together. There are definately things I need to work on in the relationship and there are definately things she needs to work on. As long as we can change things up a lil bit, I think we'll be ok.

Thanks guys, I'll let you know how it turns out.

[TheBlueMonster]

I feel your pain (and not sarcastically). Freshman year of college I went to visit my girl friend at the time at Yale (smart ass bitch...). I was there for 3 days and halfway thru the 2nd i noticed she was acting very odd towards me (eg. ignoring me even though I didn't know anyone there..) Literally 1 hr. before I was to catch my train to head back down to MD we had this huge fight. The word "break" was used, but she gave me no closure/wouldn't tell me what that meant.
I had to spend a 4 hr train ride alone and emotionally devastated at 1 am.
It [censored] sucks man. No way around it.
I think it makes us stronger though...as cliche as that sounds.

[oreogod]

You know man, i went out w/ a girl for 6 years...we started dating as sophmores in High school...anyway we broke up a few years back...and I will tell u it was hard at first. But u know, like Alobar said...its more a security blanket issue.

So I moved to florida, lived on a killer beach, took 2 months to myself...then I just started dating women. Anyway, after taking 2 months to myself, it was no big deal...I felt good and free, and dating other women, be they bar sluts or co-workers or ppl that came into work (I was a waiter), was a good thing and a good experience. I had a lot of fun and met people and friends I wouldnt have met if we stayed together.

I remember getting to a point I was glad we broke up. Some ppl jump into another relationship, they stay co-dependant...[censored] that. I learned alot going through the process of seperating from someone u dated/lived w/ for 6 years...wouldnt trade it. Made me much stronger.

[TheTROLL]

[ QUOTE ]
im literally in the exact same boat

[/ QUOTE ]

No.

[ChipWrecked]

[ QUOTE ]
We are going to talk about our relationship on Sunday I guess. I think it's about 85% that we'll get back together. There are definately things I need to work on in the relationship and there are definately things she needs to work on. As long as we can change things up a lil bit, I think we'll be ok.

Thanks guys, I'll let you know how it turns out.

[/ QUOTE ]

Do not do this. Repeat. Do not do this.

If the 'break' was her idea, and you two get back together, she OWNS you. Your balls are hers for the duration of the relationship.

If you do get back together, it has to be because you said something to the effect of, "You're right. We're better off this way. I want to see other people anyway."

[diebitter]

Listen to Chip.

And run like a [censored]. You're free!