responding to insults at the table

[DavidC]

What do you do if a TAA berates you on your play?

Yes, if a fish does it, you shrug your shoulders and let it slide, but if there's a guy at the table who you actually don't want sitting there and he insults you on your play...

... particularly if he didn't play the hand well either. /images/graemlins/smile.gif

I don't know, I feel a need to lash out at him in this case. It's a personal need, and should probably not be indulged, but I feel like doing it. Of course, some stipulations apply:

1) never berate his play while doing this
2) never make it personal (like insulting him for a lisp or something, anything that's about HIM)
3) make some sort of generic I-Don't-Like-You insult instead: "Eat Sh-" is a good one, for example. It gets the point across without being too nasty.

A funnier way of doing it would be "Really? Oh. Eat Sh-" or something to that effect. /images/graemlins/smile.gif

So a few questions:

1) I have a general idea that this is probably a very bad idea. Do you agree?

2) Would I get kicked out for doing something like this?

---

Also, in middle limits, where you really do want the sharky regulars to stick around, in order to ensure game survivability, I suggest a simple, "Nice hand." would suffice.

Maybe telling them to mind their manners would be good...

I don't know... how do you guys respond to "aggro" (as the brits call it).

[lefty rosen]

Talk smack back you will find if a guy makes the game personal he will call down way to many obvious losing hands. That if he was thinking rationally he wouldn't bother....... /images/graemlins/grin.gif Fight, fire with fire.

[gambool]

[ QUOTE ]
I don't know... how do you guys respond to "aggro" (as the brits call it).

[/ QUOTE ]

I would never be insulting to another play, e.g. telling them to "eat sh**". Thats just plain bad. If someone wants to be an [censored] at the table, it doesnt mean you have to join them. A profitable table is a happy table, and remember that there are 8 other players at the table.

Best way to stick up for yourself to be totally uneffected by them, or even better ignore them. I may occasionally let out a big yawn in their direction, but thats about it. They will get the message eventually, and quiten up, or even move table.

[lefty rosen]

If a guy is going to call me down ace high or better yet K high great. Now don't get in pissing matches with the passive players or donaters. But guys like this are generally the type who can't handle the swings of live poker to begin with, thus are easy to push over the edge......

[theben]

what did five fingers say to the face?

[TakeMeToTheRiver]

[ QUOTE ]
"Eat Sh-" is a good one, for example. It gets the point across without being too nasty.

[/ QUOTE ]

In some civilized parts of the world, saying "Eat Sh__" would be considered pretty nasty.

Personally, I just invite the other player to win his chips back... or tell him that you didn't hear him and he should repeat what he said after you finish stacking his chips.

[LImitPlayer]

My standard response:

"I'm sorry, I couldn't hear you I was stacking your chips."

For the rest of the night any time anyone wins a pot agianst this person I say:

"Aw look, now he's stacking your chips"

This really pisses em off and has the added benifit of possibly putting them on tilt.

[danzasmack]

doesn't matter who sits down and makes fun of you - as much as you don't want him/her at the table it is bad in general for the table to bring a negative attitude. People who sit and lose want to have fun. Starting anything close to an argument is -EV.

[Georgia Avenue]

Depends on HOW he's insulting you. If he's just telling you that you did something wrong, I like to ask him what he means, as if I'm a total fish. Say, "What did I do wrong?" and hear him out...act like a beginner who just wants to learn. Two advantages: 1.makes him (and everyonbe else) think yr a N00b 2. lets you know how he plays...
Plus others might chime in too, more free info. You don't have to ham it up, just be kind of sorry that you "screwed up" or whatever. Your pride is nothing, let it go. Plus, it keeps the table friendly and light, and even if you can piss him off into playing badly, he'll play a lot worse if he thinks he's "educated" you.

Now, if he's not being a nit, and he's just straight up insulting you...think: "WWACjrD?"

Answer: KHITNutzzzz.

[smoore]

[ QUOTE ]
"WWACjrD?"


[/ QUOTE ]

haha... I'm going to start carrying my keys around on a lanyard with THAT embroidered on it.

[downtown]

[ QUOTE ]
What do you do if a TAA berates you on your play?

[/ QUOTE ]
"I'm sorry, you're right, I promise to play better from now on."

I've said this a few times, and I've never heard a response.

[Al_Capone_Junior]

You are being WAY too nice. Say whatever you have to in order to ensure the jerk goes on mega-tilt.

"sorry about your ass on that hand, boy, here's some preparation-H"

"I didn't realize that when it comes to your own play, you had the terms idiot and expert so confused"

"that ain't what your mom said last night" (That one's a little over the top, for sure, but would likely be highly effective)

and if he has a lisp... "Oh THOP it!" (try to sound slightly gay here)

al

or you could just kick him in the nuts

[Al_Capone_Junior]

[ QUOTE ]
Now, if he's not being a nit, and he's just straight up insulting you...think: "WWACjrD?"

Answer: KHITNutzzzz.


[/ QUOTE ]

You know it! /images/graemlins/grin.gif

al

[Patrick del Poker Grande]

"You're right, I'm a terrible player" is a nice, polite, easy way to tilt the kind of guy who would berate your play while remaining in the good graces of the rest of the table.

[Boris]

According the Boris Code of Poker Ethics, once some clown opens his big mouth it's open season. You can say whatever you want to him, which includes saying nothing. Just do whatever you feel comfortable with.

[Toro]

My best buddy was and is the best at handling this. He simply shrugs, looks the guy in the eye, while pulling the pot towards him and says "I'm an idiot". They can't figure out if he's serious or not and after a guy admits he's an idiot there's really nothing else to say is there?

[hobbsmann]

Sometimes I'll respond with the 'I know, I suck at this game' and then toss the guy a dollar chip. Very effective at inducing tilt. /images/graemlins/smile.gif

[onegymrat]

Hi David,

I suggest doing one of two things.

If you are there to have a good time and love the reactions you get from opponents when you insult them back, use the many suggestions from this thread.

If you are there to make money, then you should stay quiet and play your game unaffected. The angry opponents will natural "go after you". Staying unaffected by their comments will incite their anger more and bring you more money.

So decide why you're at the table, for entertainment or money?

[DavidC]

[ QUOTE ]
Depends on HOW he's insulting you. If he's just telling you that you did something wrong, I like to ask him what he means, as if I'm a total fish. Say, "What did I do wrong?" and hear him out...act like a beginner who just wants to learn. Two advantages: 1.makes him (and everyonbe else) think yr a N00b 2. lets you know how he plays...
Plus others might chime in too, more free info. You don't have to ham it up, just be kind of sorry that you "screwed up" or whatever. Your pride is nothing, let it go. Plus, it keeps the table friendly and light, and even if you can piss him off into playing badly, he'll play a lot worse if he thinks he's "educated" you.

Now, if he's not being a nit, and he's just straight up insulting you...think: "WWACjrD?"

Answer: KHITNutzzzz.

[/ QUOTE ]

Hey guys, thanks for the suggestions here.

... Just want to clarify, though, I DO NOT want the table talking about how to play poker. /images/graemlins/smile.gif

[DavidC]

Well... if I'm there for entertainment, then I'm generally not getting in pissing matches to begin with. I mean, if I'm sitting with my buddies at a $5 NLHE game and one of them gets pissed that I sucked out, I just tell them to relax and say nice hand. There's no way I'd tell them eat sh-, that's for sure. /images/graemlins/smile.gif

[Mano]

One of the best quotes I have seen on how to handle situations like this is by Tommy Angelo:
[ QUOTE ]
Now, if he had intended this as a sincere question, I would have ignored him politely. But he didn’t. He was being mean, on purpose. He was mocking me and my poker playing. His intent was to injure me. I lost my cool and I got rough. I ignored him ruthlessly.


[/ QUOTE ]

[Mackie]

no need to listen to anyone

[burningyen]

Tell him the jerk store called and they're running out of him.

[smoore]

"Oh yeah? Some people say cucumbers taste better pickled!"

No, wait... you're supposed to say, "I like tacos"

[goofball]

"I'm sorry, I'll try to play better from now on"

is fuckign awesome. The best one by far.

or, grab a few chips and say "you see these, they these used to be yours. This one, and this one..."


Or one time I had KQ on a T976 board or something and I thought my opponent was full of [censored] anyway(I was strongly considering calling him all the way), the river was K, I checked he bet I paused, and ended up calling. He got all annoyed that I thought so long with a pair of kings so I just told him the truth "I was thinking about raising"

For some reason that set him off and he started calling me greedy.

[adios]

I like the iPod solution and I like turning off the chat online. People say so many dumb things that it's hard to refrain from explaining how they're wrong but it's not a good idea to educate at the table. If you're one who can trade "barbs" easily go for the gusto.

[Kyo Souma II]

If they are giving lame advice, tell them you're new and ask for further advice.

If they're giving good/decent advice, ignore them or:
- do a "we'll see who leaves with all the chips." make it look like you have it out for them without being a dick. In cash NL games, make overbet raises with strong holdings.
- bashfully thank them for the advice without any hint of sarcasm

-kyo

[null]

When someone insults you, it's time to flip over the table and get out your gun. Just like the old days.

Actually I just saw someone get escorted out of Foxwoods yesterday for calling someone a dumb [censored] rather loudly...

[Mackie]

is actually my favorite response to "what the hell were you doing playing like that" or variations thereof.

[DavidC]

[ QUOTE ]
One of the best quotes I have seen on how to handle situations like this is by Tommy Angelo:
[ QUOTE ]
Now, if he had intended this as a sincere question, I would have ignored him politely. But he didn’t. He was being mean, on purpose. He was mocking me and my poker playing. His intent was to injure me. I lost my cool and I got rough. I ignored him ruthlessly.


[/ QUOTE ]

[/ QUOTE ]

That's hilarious! /images/graemlins/smile.gif

Thanks.

[ QUOTE ]
what did five fingers say to the face?

[/ QUOTE ]

SLAAAAP!

I laugh.

[nothumb]

You have to decide if you want to respond or not. If you say nothing it will likely bother him and nobody else. If you say something it will make him direct even more hatred at you and possibly affect the play of others as well. So it turns up the heat a bit, but contrary to what others have said, some responses may be +EV if you can deal with the situation appropriately.

My nuclear option in this situation has always been, "Dealer, would you please push my girlfriend over there the second place pot?"

A less confrontational response might be something like, "Poker is easy!"

Sometimes I like to pretend I don't speak English.

NT