How do I eventually get back together with this girl?

No SIIHP comments. Please?

So I know that I'm being a loser by posting this in OOT but everyone else does it so I figured why not join the crowd?

My girlfriend and I had been going out for about 3 months before I dumped her two weeks ago. She was working a lot during the summer and I was playing poker which was fine with me. We go to school together also. I understood that she had to work to make money and that was fine.

We had a great time during the summer and I couldn't wait for school to start so we could be together more. But she commutes to school from about 25 minutes away so I can't see her every day. That was fine with me but it seemed that she was losing interest in me once school started so I panicked I guess, and dumped her. We had it out then. There was no cursing but I told her how I felt about how I didn't think she had time for me and how she said that she would have time for me and that's why I had to do it. I then crawled back to her 2 days later and tried to get back together with her. She said no of course and that she just wanted to be friends for right now(yeah, the let's be friend line). We then had it out again and right now we are not speaking to each other.

I've hung out with 2 or 3 girls in the past couple weeks and they've all been great(one of them is super hot, like way more than my ex-girlfriend, but I'm just not attracted to her like I am my ex). SMy ex was the complete package(she was cute, smart, funny) and I guess that I just acted like an idiot by dumping her.

I assume that I'd have to start being her friend again before we could start dating. How do I start that process?

Yeah, I'm an idiot and a fool. And I know that there is a very decent chance that I'll never get to be her friend or date her again.

I do think though that some relationships have gone through far worse than this and that there's still a chance for us.

[Patrick del Poker Grande]

tl;dr

[jokerthief]

You need to cool it for a good while and approach her again from the friends perspective first. Then try to make her jealous and swoop in.

[Edge34]

You [censored] up. Big. I'm in the same situation, but I've been patient.

And that's what you'll have to do. Let it be known to her that you made a mistake, but don't be a little clingy biotch and crawl back. The ball is in her court now. All you can do is make sure she knows what's up and see what she says, in due time.

I pre-emptively broke up with my girlfriend. Now I want her back.

tl;dr

[Alobar]

Why WOULD she want to get back with you? You sound pretty immature. My advice would be to grow some emotionally, because even if you do get back with her, you are just going to [censored] it up again. Live, learn, expereience, work on personal growth and confidence, so that in the future when you meet a girl you really like, you dont screw it up.

[meleader2]

do like i do, and get them drunk. simply exclaim how hot she is and BAM you've got her in the bag.

[Alobar]

[ QUOTE ]
I pre-emptively broke up with my girlfriend. Now I want her back.

tl;dr

[/ QUOTE ]

are you related to that cliff notes guy?

[touchfaith]

you [censored] up, join the club

[MrTrik]

I agree if you ever are going to get back together you have to start with friendship. I'd get your buddies together and plan a kickass party. With lots of people. Call her a week before and just say you guys are throwing a bash and she's invited. Tell her to bring friends. See how it plays out.

[gorie]

put your face in her crotch.

[Edge34]

[ QUOTE ]
put your face in her crotch.

[/ QUOTE ]

Come on, that's just the first steps. If he didn't know to start there, he doesn't deserve her back. /images/graemlins/grin.gif

[gorie]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
put your face in her crotch.

[/ QUOTE ]

Come on, that's just the first steps. If he didn't know to start there, he doesn't deserve her back. /images/graemlins/grin.gif

[/ QUOTE ]
the first step is tying her up, duh.

[siccjay]

Starting with friendship is bad. Once you get in the friendship boat, if you ever get out, you drown.

[MrTrik]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
put your face in her crotch.

[/ QUOTE ]

Come on, that's just the first steps. If he didn't know to start there, he doesn't deserve her back. /images/graemlins/grin.gif

[/ QUOTE ]
the first step is tying her up, duh.

[/ QUOTE ]

Don't forget the warm (not hot!) fudge and the fruit ala Nine Weeks. Don't forget the blind fold either.

[jokerthief]

[ QUOTE ]
Starting with friendship is bad. Once you get in the friendship boat, if you ever get out, you drown.

[/ QUOTE ]

I've gotten out of that boat many a time.

[Alobar]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Starting with friendship is bad. Once you get in the friendship boat, if you ever get out, you drown.

[/ QUOTE ]

I've gotten out of that boat many a time.

[/ QUOTE ]

yeah, it isnt hard. You just sleep with one of her friends. Its amazing how fast that makes her think of you as more than just a friend.

[Niwa]

tell her.

[mason55]

Get drunk, then call her.

[Sponger15SB]

[ QUOTE ]
Get drunk, then call her.

[/ QUOTE ]

This is of course the best idea.



I'm serious

[bernie]

[ QUOTE ]
I then crawled back to her 2 days later and tried to get back together with her. She said no of course and that she just wanted to be friends for right now(yeah, the let's be friend line). We then had it out again and right now we are not speaking to each other.

[/ QUOTE ]

This is of course the foundation of all great relationships...

You realize how pathetic this story looks?

Quit being a needy, clingy bitch. (unless you reeealy think that's attractive to anyone) Too young to be so wrapped up into a chick. Especially if you only went with her for a whole 3 friggin' months. You're probably even more attracted to her because you can't have her right now.

No contact for at least 6 months to a year.

Get under somebody other than her.

b

[Evan]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I pre-emptively broke up with my girlfriend. Now I want her back.

tl;dr

[/ QUOTE ]

are you related to that cliff notes guy?

[/ QUOTE ]

I hope so. That guy was one of my favorite posters ever and I miss him.

[IggyWH]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Get drunk, then call her.

[/ QUOTE ]

This is of course the best idea.



I'm serious

[/ QUOTE ]

I don't know how serious you are, but this really isn't a bad idea. Since you're drunk, you really don't care if you let out more than your sober self would. SHe'll either dig that you can open up to her like that or it'll piss her off. Either way, you'll know by the end of the convo if your in or need to move on.

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I then crawled back to her 2 days later and tried to get back together with her. She said no of course and that she just wanted to be friends for right now(yeah, the let's be friend line). We then had it out again and right now we are not speaking to each other.

[/ QUOTE ]

This is of course the foundation of all great relationships...

You realize how pathetic this story looks?

Quit being a needy, clingy bitch. (unless you reeealy think that's attractive to anyone) Too young to be so wrapped up into a chick. Especially if you only went with her for a whole 3 friggin' months. You're probably even more attracted to her because you can't have her right now.

No contact for at least 6 months to a year.

Get under somebody other than her.

b

[/ QUOTE ]

Ok you're right. Thanks for knocking some sense into me.

[newfant]

[ QUOTE ]

yeah, it isnt hard. You just sleep with one of her friends. Its amazing how fast that makes her think of you as more than just a friend

[/ QUOTE ]

Sounds like the OP is too smitten for that. She has all the power and she'll never see him as anything more than a friend because he is too weak to treat her like the POS that she is.

[gorie]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]

yeah, it isnt hard. You just sleep with one of her friends. Its amazing how fast that makes her think of you as more than just a friend

[/ QUOTE ]

Sounds like the OP is too smitten for that. She has all the power and she'll never see him as anything more than a friend because he is too weak to treat her like the POS that she is.

[/ QUOTE ]
wtf ? if he thought she was a POS why would he want her ? and what makes her a POS ? other than being a girl, i mean.

[touchfaith]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Get drunk, then call her.

[/ QUOTE ]

This is of course the best idea.



I'm serious

[/ QUOTE ]

This is by far the worst option, which, as a result, would probably make it my choice.

do it

[siccjay]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Starting with friendship is bad. Once you get in the friendship boat, if you ever get out, you drown.

[/ QUOTE ]

I've gotten out of that boat many a time.

[/ QUOTE ]

yeah, it isnt hard. You just sleep with one of her friends. Its amazing how fast that makes her think of you as more than just a friend.

[/ QUOTE ]

While I agree that it will work, this guy doesn't sound like he wants to bang any of her friends.

My statement was meant for guys who are way to into a girl to try and bang her friends.

[ QUOTE ]
I do think though that some relationships have gone through far worse than this and that there's still a chance to SIIHP .

[/ QUOTE ]
FYP

[MrTrik]

The best relationships I've ever had started with friendships. I'm not talking about a failed dating experience or failed sexual relationship where she eventually pulled the 'just want to be friends' card. I'm talking about women I actually became friends with first. Eventually through relization of similar outlooks, similar interests, and of course some sexual chemistry they turned into more than just friends. And like I said if I look back, the best three relationships I've ever had with a woman started this way. It doesn't seem to start with dating, sex, then relationship nearly as often. But that's just me I guess.

[newfant]

[ QUOTE ]
what makes her a POS ? other than being a girl, i mean.

[/ QUOTE ]

You answered your own question.

[gorie]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
what makes her a POS ? other than being a girl, i mean.

[/ QUOTE ]

You answered your own question.

[/ QUOTE ]
so basically what you're trying to say is that you're a POS ?

[newfant]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]

[ QUOTE ]


what makes her a POS ? other than being a girl, i mean.



[/ QUOTE ]



You answered your own question.


[/ QUOTE ]


so basically what you're trying to say is that you're a POS

[/ QUOTE ]

Admit it. Although you are trying hard to be angry with me, you actually find yourself strangely attracted to me because of my bad-boy attitude. I know how to push the buttons.

[gorie]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]

[ QUOTE ]


what makes her a POS ? other than being a girl, i mean.



[/ QUOTE ]



You answered your own question.


[/ QUOTE ]


so basically what you're trying to say is that you're a POS

[/ QUOTE ]

Admit it. Although you are trying hard to be angry with me, you actually find yourself strangely attracted to me because of my bad-boy attitude. I know how to push the buttons.

[/ QUOTE ]
? no, i think you sound like an idiot, actually.

i will admit some guys can pull off what you're apparently trying to do, but i don't think it's working out for you.

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]

yeah, it isnt hard. You just sleep with one of her friends. Its amazing how fast that makes her think of you as more than just a friend

[/ QUOTE ]

Sounds like the OP is too smitten for that. She has all the power and she'll never see him as anything more than a friend because he is too weak to treat her like the POS that she is.

[/ QUOTE ]
wtf ? if he thought she was a POS why would he want her ? and what makes her a POS ? other than being a girl, i mean.

[/ QUOTE ]

She's not a POS- I'm the POS. Relationships are tough, what can I say?

And like I said I never called her any names or cursed at her in our two post-breakup fights.

[Michael Davis]

You don't. The sooner you accept that the better.

-Michael

[rusellmj]

[ QUOTE ]
I then crawled back to her 2 days later and tried to get back together with her.


[/ QUOTE ]

This woman will never respect you now. She's also told all her friends.

Move on.

[Alobar]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Starting with friendship is bad. Once you get in the friendship boat, if you ever get out, you drown.

[/ QUOTE ]

I've gotten out of that boat many a time.

[/ QUOTE ]

yeah, it isnt hard. You just sleep with one of her friends. Its amazing how fast that makes her think of you as more than just a friend.

[/ QUOTE ]

While I agree that it will work, this guy doesn't sound like he wants to bang any of her friends.

My statement was meant for guys who are way to into a girl to try and bang her friends.

[/ QUOTE ]

yeah I didnt mean OP should do this. I think OP is way to immature to make anything work with this girl. I just mean typically if you are worried about being in the "just friends" camp, just bang one of her friends.

I took the advice of som people on this thread and so I got drunk and called her.

We're back together!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!

I bet you guyhs thought it was like 10 to 1 against her taking me back. Well so did I

[Mr_J]

"and I guess that I just acted like an idiot by dumping her."

No, she actually dumped you.

[kyro]

[ QUOTE ]
I took the advice of som people on this thread and so I got drunk and called her.

We're back together!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!

I bet you guyhs thought it was like 10 to 1 against her taking me back. Well so did I

[/ QUOTE ]

She sounds like a keeper. Congrats.

[Alobar]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I took the advice of som people on this thread and so I got drunk and called her.

We're back together!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!

I bet you guyhs thought it was like 10 to 1 against her taking me back. Well so did I

[/ QUOTE ]

She sounds like a keeper. Congrats.

[/ QUOTE ]

I put the over/under on when they break up again at 2 weeks. I take the under

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I took the advice of som people on this thread and so I got drunk and called her.

We're back together!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!

I bet you guyhs thought it was like 10 to 1 against her taking me back. Well so did I

[/ QUOTE ]

She sounds like a keeper. Congrats.

[/ QUOTE ]

I put the over/under on when they break up again at 2 weeks. I take the under

[/ QUOTE ]

Ill take the under also

[kyro]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I took the advice of som people on this thread and so I got drunk and called her.

We're back together!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!

I bet you guyhs thought it was like 10 to 1 against her taking me back. Well so did I

[/ QUOTE ]

She sounds like a keeper. Congrats.

[/ QUOTE ]

I put the over/under on when they break up again at 2 weeks. I take the under

[/ QUOTE ]

as long as he doesn't post about it, i could care less.

[imported_anacardo]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I took the advice of som people on this thread and so I got drunk and called her.

We're back together!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!

I bet you guyhs thought it was like 10 to 1 against her taking me back. Well so did I

[/ QUOTE ]

She sounds like a keeper. Congrats.

[/ QUOTE ]

I put the over/under on when they break up again at 2 weeks. I take the under

[/ QUOTE ]

Ill take the under also

[/ QUOTE ]

[censored]. I guess I'll have to pass on this action. /images/graemlins/frown.gif

[RunDownHouse]

Its amazing how right Alobar is in situations like this.

Or not.

[Alobar]

[ QUOTE ]
Its amazing how right Alobar is in situations like this.

Or not.

[/ QUOTE ]

yeah your right, they obviously have something great going on. He'ss not immature in the slightest. Premptively dumping someone cuz you are scared and clingy, then begging to get them back, then getting in a fight cuz they wont take you back, and then calling them drunk, is definately the mark of a well adjusted person ready for a healthy relationship.

I'm definitely immature. I have the maturity level of a 10 year old.

So what?

[siccjay]

[ QUOTE ]
I took the advice of som people on this thread and so I got drunk and called her.

We're back together!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!

I bet you guyhs thought it was like 10 to 1 against her taking me back. Well so did I

[/ QUOTE ]

I don't believe you.

[InchoateHand]

Yeah, getting drunk and calling people is always a good idea. You should do it more often---its a great way to reconnect with family as well as friends.

[SpecialK3387]

Well you have options.
Option 1:you have only been dating her for a short time. So you are not really as emtionally attached as you should be. So you can move on with little damage and recover time. Hit on many girls to help.
Option 2: PLay it cool till she gives you the signal or you are at a point in which you can make a move, then pounce. Send her emails, voicemails with songs that remind you of her. it worked for me. So good luck

[InchoateHand]

Option 3: don't respond to a thread about an issue thats already been resolved unless you are going to make a snide remark.

Option 4: Never, ever, say "play it cool" unless you think the movie "Swingers" is a) cool, b) a useful repository of dating advice.

[siccjay]

Swingers is awesome.

[ QUOTE ]
Yeah, getting drunk and calling people is always a good idea. You should do it more often---its a great way to reconnect with family as well as friends.

[/ QUOTE ]

Well I dont know about family.

Friends - yes.

[chesspain]

Just let her cheat off you during the SAT.

[jakethebake]

This should be a poll.

along with a follow up poll for how long till the suicide post comes up

[MyTurn2Raise]

[ QUOTE ]
do like i do, and get them drunk. simply exclaim how hot she is and BAM you've got her in the bag.

[/ QUOTE ]

If only I knew this method 4 1/2 years ago

[tom441lbk]

<noobie, but what does SIIHP stand for, or do i want to know?