Uniter not a Divider

[cardcounter0]

Dear Red States,

We're ticked off at the way you've treated California, and we've decided we're leaving.

We intend to form our own country, and we're taking the other Blue States with us.

In case you aren't aware, that includes Hawaii, Oregon, Washington, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, Illinois and all the Northeast.

We believe this split will be beneficial to the nation, and especially to the people of the new country of New California.

To sum up briefly: You get Texas, Oklahoma and all the former slave states.

We get stem cell research and the best beaches.

We get Elliot Spitzer. You get Ken Lay.

We get the Statue of Liberty. You get OpryLand.

We get Intel and Microsoft. You get WorldCom and Wal-Mart.

We get Harvard. You get Oral Roberts University.

We get 85 percent of America's venture capital and entrepreneurs. You get Mississippi.

We get two-thirds of the tax revenue, you get to make the red states pay their fair share.

Since our aggregate divorce rate is 22 percent lower than the Christian Coalition's, we get a bunch of happy families. You get a bunch of single moms.

Please be aware that Nuevo California will be pro-choice and anti-war, and we're going to want all our citizens back from Iraq at once. If you need people to fight, ask your evangelicals. They have kids they're apparently willing to send to their deaths for no purpose, and they don't care if you don't show pictures of their children's caskets coming home. We do wish you success in Iraq, and hope that the WMDs turn up, but we're not willing to spend our resources in Bush's Quagmire.

With the Blue States in hand, we will have firm control of 80 percent of the country's fresh water, more than 90 percent of the pineapple and lettuce, 92 percent of the nation's fresh fruit, 95 percent of America's quality wines (you can serve French wines at state dinners) 90 percent of all cheese, 90 percent of the high tech industry, most of the U.S. low-sulfur coal, all living redwoods, sequoias and condors, all the Ivy League and Seven Sister schools, including Harvard, Yale, and Princeton plus Stanford, Cal Tech and MIT.

With the Red States, on the other hand, you will have to cope with 88 percent of all obese Americans (and their projected health care costs), 92 percent of all U.S. mosquitoes, nearly 100 percent of the tornadoes, 90 percent of the hurricanes, 99 percent of all Southern Baptists, virtually 100 percent of all televangelists, Rush Limbaugh, Jerry Falwell, Pat Robertson, and Texas A&M.

We get Hollywood and Yosemite, thank you.

This leaves you with a country in which 38 percent of your citizens believe Jonah was actually swallowed by a whale, 62 percent believe life is sacred unless the subject is the death penalty, 44 percent say that evolution is only a theory, and 53 percent insist that Saddam was involved in 9/11.

By the way, we're taking the good pot, too. You can have that dirt weed they grow in Mexico.

Sincerely,

Liberal Blue State

[Broken Glass Can]

A second thread in recent days by blue staters trying to avoid paying for the red state hurricane damages in those 3 red states of Louisiana, Mississippi, and Alabama.

You guys are so cheap. /images/graemlins/smirk.gif

[deadmoney98]

nh

[cardcounter0]

The local Mayor of New Orleans should pay for all the damages. After all, he had SCHOOL BUSES!

[lehighguy]

I thought the red states tried to break away and you wouldn't let them.

[cardcounter0]

It was a Republican President that stopped them.

[lehighguy]

Your posts get more and more pointless, do you even see why?

[cardcounter0]

school bus.

[lehighguy]

You rode the short bus, now I understand.

[Autocratic]

[ QUOTE ]
I thought the red states tried to break away and you wouldn't let them.

[/ QUOTE ]

Yeah, if only the national political scene was even remotely comparable to modern day....hmmm....then you'd have presented quite an interesting statement.

[bobman0330]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I thought the red states tried to break away and you wouldn't let them.

[/ QUOTE ]

Yeah, if only the national political scene was even remotely comparable to modern day....hmmm....then you'd have presented quite an interesting statement.

[/ QUOTE ]

It's precisely because the political scene is different that this statement is so interesting. The North was perfectly happy to hold the Union together when it could impose undesirable import duties on the South to its own benefit, but now that the South is becoming politically more powerful, they want out. The word might be hypocrisy.

[SheetWise]

[ QUOTE ]
You rode the short bus, now I understand.


[/ QUOTE ]
LOL /images/graemlins/tongue.gif

[lehighguy]

It was meant as a witty jest, but cardcounter managed to make it a hilarious joke with his rediculous reply.

[cardcounter0]

[ QUOTE ]
It was meant as a witty jest, but cardcounter managed to make it a hilarious joke with his rediculous reply.


[/ QUOTE ]

Hmmmm... I post a joke letter, you make a witty jest, but my reply is "rediculous". Hahahahaha.

Then you make a clever come back about the "short bus".

awesome.
/images/graemlins/grin.gif

[FishHooks]

You must have a boring life to post threads like this. Let me take a stab...bitter,lonely, in your early 30's, you think your smarter than you are so your pissed your not getting paid much for what you do hmmm anything else to add?

[cardcounter0]

Complete whiff.

[ QUOTE ]
lonely, in your early 30's, you think your smarter than you are so your pissed your not getting paid much for what you do hmmm anything else to add?

[/ QUOTE ]

To be perfectly honest, I am surrounded by people. In fact, a young couple with two little girls recently moved into my house (it's too big for just me, there is plenty of room) who I am helping get on their feet.

A teenager also lives with me as her Mother is in prison, and he was looking at going to crappy foster care. I am trying to get him caught up on his school work, so he can do something with his life.

I wish I was in my earlier 30s!!! hahahaha.

I don't think I could imagine me being smarter than I am (at least in the sense of "smart" being measured by IQ tests, as I understand scores over 200 start becoming meaningless.) I am fairly close to pushing that, which is why I left High School at 16 and was a Junior in College at 18.

I have several businesses, and a regular 9 to 5 job which I enjoy. It is actually kind of obscene what I get paid for the job. So, no, I am fairly well compensated.

Bitter? What is to be bitter about? I live in the greatest country in the world. /images/graemlins/grin.gif

[FishHooks]

[quote
To be perfectly honest

[/ QUOTE ]

heh a liberal saying that, then you know a lie is coming up.

[cardcounter0]

The phrase "trying to teach a pig to sing" comes to mind ...

[Roybert]

[ QUOTE ]
I thought the red states tried to break away and you wouldn't let them.

[/ QUOTE ]

If you say that WE wouldn't let them, then you must also say that THEY are racist slave owners.

[MEbenhoe]

hmmmm a liberal being elitist, if I bought into all left wing BS about how they're the party that cares about the common man I might be shocked right now, but this is pretty much SOP.

[dragon14]

A few points:

Elections now generally turn on ethnic and racial divisions. The white population of California, New York, and Illinois actually had a small majority for Bush in exit polls. However, the majority of the votes from the other ethnic groups went for Kerry.

Labeling whole states as if they all agree on the same issues is inaccurate. San Diego and Orange Counties both voted for Bush. They don't want to join your new country. Similarly, Wyandotte and Douglas Counties in Kansas don't want to be in a red nation since they voted for Kerry.

Somehow the northern Atlanta, western Kansas City, Orange County, and San Diego suburbs (to name a few) manage to be quite wealthy and have high numbers of college graduates while generally voting Republican.

The majority Republican county I live in has 47 percent of adults 25 or older with a college degree. Manhattan has 49 percent. A big difference is that in Johnson County, Kansas, we can get a 5 bedroom 5 bath 4600 square foot house on a golf course for $450,000 whereas a New Yorker pays that much for a 700 square foot apartment.

We watch the same shows, movies, and read the same books people in the blue states read. Acting as if Oral Roberts University is representative of our colleges is ludicrous. As if there aren't religious institutions in California.

[vulturesrow]

[ QUOTE ]
Complete whiff.

[ QUOTE ]
lonely, in your early 30's, you think your smarter than you are so your pissed your not getting paid much for what you do hmmm anything else to add?

[/ QUOTE ]

To be perfectly honest, I am surrounded by people. In fact, a young couple with two little girls recently moved into my house (it's too big for just me, there is plenty of room) who I am helping get on their feet.

A teenager also lives with me as her Mother is in prison, and he was looking at going to crappy foster care. I am trying to get him caught up on his school work, so he can do something with his life.

I wish I was in my earlier 30s!!! hahahaha.

I don't think I could imagine me being smarter than I am (at least in the sense of "smart" being measured by IQ tests, as I understand scores over 200 start becoming meaningless.) I am fairly close to pushing that, which is why I left High School at 16 and was a Junior in College at 18.

I have several businesses, and a regular 9 to 5 job which I enjoy. It is actually kind of obscene what I get paid for the job. So, no, I am fairly well compensated.

Bitter? What is to be bitter about? I live in the greatest country in the world. /images/graemlins/grin.gif

[/ QUOTE ]


If you are as smart as you say (in terms of IQ), its a shame you dont turn that intellect towards writing better posts, rather than resorting to your typical one line quips. While they are good for a laugh once in a while, it seems like you are capable of more. Seems like a long time ago you actually did write some decent stuff, but havent seen it in a while. Hope to see some again soon.

[ QUOTE ]
hmmmm a liberal being elitist, if I bought into all left wing BS about how they're the party that cares about the common man I might be shocked right now, but this is pretty much SOP.

[/ QUOTE ]

yep, the Republicans are the part of the common man and the Democrats are the elitists. That's why those great Republicans are trying to repeal the estate tax (aka "the death tax") which affects <2% of people who die every year. Try to guess whether those <2% are very poor or very wealthy. I'll give you two tries.

[Cyrus]

[ QUOTE ]
Republicans are trying to repeal the estate tax (aka "the death tax") which affects <2% of people who die every year.
Try to guess whether those <2% are very poor or very wealthy.
I'll give you two tries.

[/ QUOTE ]
OK, I've done this before.

Let me think. (What is this broken arrow sign, anyway?)

OK, it's poor, OK? And my second choice is very poor.

No, wait, wait, wait. You said two tries, wait.

[xniNja]

Personally, I think it would be wonderful if California seceded and took those other states with them. I think the Fed still has the bomb though.

[CCass]

[ QUOTE ]
Dear Red States,

We're ticked off at the way you've treated California, and we've decided we're leaving.

We intend to form our own country, and we're taking the other Blue States with us.

In case you aren't aware, that includes Hawaii, Oregon, Washington, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, Illinois and all the Northeast.

We believe this split will be beneficial to the nation, and especially to the people of the new country of New California.

To sum up briefly: You get Texas, Oklahoma and all the former slave states.

We get stem cell research and the best beaches.

We get Elliot Spitzer. You get Ken Lay.

We get the Statue of Liberty. You get OpryLand.

We get Intel and Microsoft. You get WorldCom and Wal-Mart.

We get Harvard. You get Oral Roberts University.

We get 85 percent of America's venture capital and entrepreneurs. You get Mississippi.

We get two-thirds of the tax revenue, you get to make the red states pay their fair share.

Since our aggregate divorce rate is 22 percent lower than the Christian Coalition's, we get a bunch of happy families. You get a bunch of single moms.

Please be aware that Nuevo California will be pro-choice and anti-war, and we're going to want all our citizens back from Iraq at once. If you need people to fight, ask your evangelicals. They have kids they're apparently willing to send to their deaths for no purpose, and they don't care if you don't show pictures of their children's caskets coming home. We do wish you success in Iraq, and hope that the WMDs turn up, but we're not willing to spend our resources in Bush's Quagmire.

With the Blue States in hand, we will have firm control of 80 percent of the country's fresh water, more than 90 percent of the pineapple and lettuce, 92 percent of the nation's fresh fruit, 95 percent of America's quality wines (you can serve French wines at state dinners) 90 percent of all cheese, 90 percent of the high tech industry, most of the U.S. low-sulfur coal, all living redwoods, sequoias and condors, all the Ivy League and Seven Sister schools, including Harvard, Yale, and Princeton plus Stanford, Cal Tech and MIT.

With the Red States, on the other hand, you will have to cope with 88 percent of all obese Americans (and their projected health care costs), 92 percent of all U.S. mosquitoes, nearly 100 percent of the tornadoes, 90 percent of the hurricanes, 99 percent of all Southern Baptists, virtually 100 percent of all televangelists, Rush Limbaugh, Jerry Falwell, Pat Robertson, and Texas A&M.

We get Hollywood and Yosemite, thank you.

This leaves you with a country in which 38 percent of your citizens believe Jonah was actually swallowed by a whale, 62 percent believe life is sacred unless the subject is the death penalty, 44 percent say that evolution is only a theory, and 53 percent insist that Saddam was involved in 9/11.

By the way, we're taking the good pot, too. You can have that dirt weed they grow in Mexico.

Sincerely,

Liberal Blue State

[/ QUOTE ]

Opryland closed about 8 years ago, so maybe you should update your material.

[Broken Glass Can]

[ QUOTE ]
Opryland closed about 8 years ago, so maybe you should update your material.

[/ QUOTE ]

Besides, Disney World and most of the Six Flags parks are in red states.

[Myrtle]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Opryland closed about 8 years ago, so maybe you should update your material.

[/ QUOTE ]

Besides, Disney World and most of the Six Flags parks are in red states.

[/ QUOTE ]


.....does that mean that Disneyland = Red States?

joke.... /images/graemlins/grin.gif /images/graemlins/tongue.gif

[Lazymeatball]

You can call the red states when you want oil for your car.

[Cumulonimbus]

Oregon, Washington, and Idaho, my three home-states will happily join California. Well, for the most part.

[Roybert]

[ QUOTE ]
You can call the red states when you want oil for your car.

[/ QUOTE ]

What, the red states will call Saudi Arabia for us? We consume WAAAAY more oil than we produce (this includes the red states, too).

[Myrtle]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
You can call the red states when you want oil for your car.

[/ QUOTE ]

What, the red states will call Saudi Arabia for us? We consume WAAAAY more oil than we produce (this includes the red states, too).

[/ QUOTE ]

...well, someone in the USA has got to be good at 'servicing' our oil producing bretheren from the middle east.

Windfall profits produce equal opportunity whores.....They'll service anyone for a price.

[BCPVP]

[ QUOTE ]
We consume WAAAAY more oil than we produce (this includes the red states, too).

[/ QUOTE ]
We produce about half as much as we consume and we're the second largest producer. I don't think I'd call that "WAAAAY" more.

[cardcounter0]

No, if you don't think consuming 100% more than you produce isn't WAAAAAY more.

[BCPVP]

I don't get it. I don't even know how I'd diagram that sentence...

[Malachii]

Beautiful. Great post /images/graemlins/grin.gif

It's usually good to be consistent, but your posts are consistently awful.