I'm a loser, should I kill myself?

[someguy2]

I am a giant loser. I am ugly, I will never get laid. I am lonely, I have no friends. I have no skills, I am not good at anything. All I do everyday is lose money playing poker and jack off. But I'm too big of a pussy to kill myself, because I'm scared. Please encourage me so I can muster up the courage to kill myself. Thanks.

[jakethebake]

How many accounts do you have anyway?

[runner4life7]

you should get good at poker and win money. It will make you feel better.

[threeonefour]

[ QUOTE ]
I will never get laid

[/ QUOTE ] [ QUOTE ]
I have no skills

[/ QUOTE ]

maybe you should take up computer hacking or the bo staff.

[pokerdirty]

good place to look for help when the letters YSSCKY are used about 1,000x at this site a day

[someguy2]

I hate being ugly, it's the worst feeling in the world. Because I am ugly I have no hope. I have no confidence, being around people makes me uncomfortable and I'm insanely socially awkward anyways (can't carry a normal conversation) so I'm pretty much doomed to be by myself for the rest of my life. I really have no future.

[someguy2]

[ QUOTE ]
you should get good at poker and win money. It will make you feel better.

[/ QUOTE ]

I am too dumb and lazy to get any good at poker.

[asofel]

can threads be deleted based on being a complete and utter waste of space?

I hate these kinda posts. If you really wanted to kill yourself you would go get a gun and end it, or try to fly off the 16th floor of some building. If you post here about it you are either A looking to be funny or B looking for attention. Try this unplug the computer and drop it in the bath tub and turn the shower on, now either plug the puter in and hop in or go enroll in a JC class or join a clup/group of some type and stop looking for attention on the web.

[Voltron87]

join the military

[LeatherFace]

[ QUOTE ]
I am a giant loser. I am ugly, I will never get laid. I am lonely, I have no friends. I have no skills, I am not good at anything. All I do everyday is lose money playing poker and jack off. But I'm too big of a pussy to kill myself, because I'm scared. Please encourage me so I can muster up the courage to kill myself. Thanks.

[/ QUOTE ]

this is exactly how i feel except i have great skills and i win money at poker, but i lack the courage to kill myself also and getting courage requires work its so freakin gay and im really starting to just get TO-ed

[pokerdirty]

[ QUOTE ]
join the military

[/ QUOTE ]

this is the best response i have seen to any question on this site. nh

[steelcmg]

suicide is the only way out

[CrazyEyez]

[ QUOTE ]
I am a giant loser. I am ugly, I will never get laid. I am lonely, I have no friends. I have no skills, I am not good at anything. All I do everyday is lose money playing poker and jack off. But I'm too big of a pussy to kill myself, because I'm scared. Please encourage me so I can muster up the courage to kill myself. Thanks.

[/ QUOTE ]
Whiskeytown?
You wouldn't feel this way had you woke her up and SIIHP last night.

[jakethebake]

[ QUOTE ]
can threads be deleted based on being a complete and utter waste of space?

[/ QUOTE ]

I often wonder this about people.

Do this and get some on to tape it!
[ QUOTE ]

<evilada>: Best suicide plan ever
<mcm310>: what is it?
<evilada>: you go up to the top of a roof
<evilada>: string piano wire tight across the front edge at neck level
<evilada>: tie a cord to your foot and the other end to the building so that you'll be above sidewalk level when its fully stretched
<evilada>: then you put super glue on your hands
<evilada>: and put your arms around the front of the wire and then back to touch your head
<evilada>: then you lean forward, so the piano wire cuts your neck but not your elbows
<evilada>: when the cord goes taut, youll be hanging upside down with no head....except your head will be in your outstretched arms thanks to gravity and the glue, staring at someone upside down and spewing blood everywhere.
<evilada>: And some poor bastard will be traumatized for LIFE.
<mcm310>: i dont think i can be your friend anymore

[/ QUOTE ]

If you haven't already done so, I would just start drinking heavily. Alcohol triggers that thing in your brain that controls courage, and you will feel more comfortable talking to people. Just get a flask and take it wherever you go. Maybe this will help with your courage problems, and if it doesn't, it will eventually kill you anyway. Good luck! /images/graemlins/smile.gif

[someguy2]

[ QUOTE ]
Do this and get some on to tape it!
[ QUOTE ]

<evilada>: Best suicide plan ever
<mcm310>: what is it?
<evilada>: you go up to the top of a roof
<evilada>: string piano wire tight across the front edge at neck level
<evilada>: tie a cord to your foot and the other end to the building so that you'll be above sidewalk level when its fully stretched
<evilada>: then you put super glue on your hands
<evilada>: and put your arms around the front of the wire and then back to touch your head
<evilada>: then you lean forward, so the piano wire cuts your neck but not your elbows
<evilada>: when the cord goes taut, youll be hanging upside down with no head....except your head will be in your outstretched arms thanks to gravity and the glue, staring at someone upside down and spewing blood everywhere.
<evilada>: And some poor bastard will be traumatized for LIFE.
<mcm310>: i dont think i can be your friend anymore

[/ QUOTE ]

[/ QUOTE ]

I'm much too big of a pussy to do anything remotely close to that. I wish I could just inject myself with something or swallow some poison and get it done quickly.

[asofel]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
can threads be deleted based on being a complete and utter waste of space?

[/ QUOTE ]

I often wonder this about people.

[/ QUOTE ]

That was quite literally my next question.

[Shajen]

I've said it before and I'll say it again:

perfect spot for the "crop duster".

[jakethebake]

Why did someguy1 get banned?

[jason_t]

http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y73/jason_t712/dieelmosuicide6zw.jpg

[someguy2]

[ QUOTE ]
If you haven't already done so, I would just start drinking heavily. Alcohol triggers that thing in your brain that controls courage, and you will feel more comfortable talking to people. Just get a flask and take it wherever you go. Maybe this will help with your courage problems, and if it doesn't, it will eventually kill you anyway. Good luck! /images/graemlins/smile.gif

[/ QUOTE ]

I'm tired of drinking, I've been drinking too much the last few months.

[oddjob]

[ QUOTE ]
I hate these kinda posts. If you really wanted to kill yourself you would go get a gun and end it, or try to fly off the 16th floor of some building. If you post here about it you are either A looking to be funny or B looking for attention. Try this unplug the computer and drop it in the bath tub and turn the shower on, now either plug the puter in and hop in or go enroll in a JC class or join a clup/group of some type and stop looking for attention on the web.

[/ QUOTE ]

so why don't you just ignore them, and stop encouraging these posts.

[someguy2]

[ QUOTE ]
Why did someguy1 get banned?

[/ QUOTE ]

Someguy and someguy1 were already taken, so I had to go with someguy2.

[someguy2]

[ QUOTE ]
http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y73/jason_t712/dieelmosuicide6zw.jpg

[/ QUOTE ]

I don't have the courage to hang myself. I'm thinking of driving my car off a cliff, it's fairly simple and would be an interesting way to leave this place.

[jason_t]

[ QUOTE ]


I don't have the courage to hang myself. I'm thinking of driving my car off a cliff, it's fairly simple and would be an interesting way to leave this place.

[/ QUOTE ]

Whatever makes you feel comfortable man.

[Sephus]

http://img325.imageshack.us/img325/2537/flamingpoo1ny.jpg

[ QUOTE ]
I could just inject myself with something or swallow some poison and get it done quickly.

[/ QUOTE ]

IMO, sleeping pills + Jack Daniels is probably the ticket. If you drive off a cliff you might get lucky for the first time in your life and survive, so this is a poor option.

[LeatherFace]

In all seriousness just hire a hitman then you wont have to worry about this problem.

[someguy2]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I could just inject myself with something or swallow some poison and get it done quickly.

[/ QUOTE ]

IMO, sleeping pills + Jack Daniels is probably the ticket. If you drive off a cliff you might get lucky for the first time in your life and survive, so this is a poor option.

[/ QUOTE ]

Sleeping pills actually have a pretty low success rate, they usually just mess up your organs and keep you alive.

[Freakin]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
join the military

[/ QUOTE ]

this is the best response i have seen to any question on this site. nh

[/ QUOTE ]

I couldn't agree more. Go for it Someguy2.

Freakin

[TomHimself]

[ QUOTE ]
join the military

[/ QUOTE ]

[Voltron87]

[ QUOTE ]
In all seriousness just hire a hitman then you wont have to worry about this problem.

[/ QUOTE ]

LMAO

[LeatherFace]

[ QUOTE ]
join the military

[/ QUOTE ]
and then use one of the guns to kill himself. very good idea

[pokerdirty]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
join the military

[/ QUOTE ]
and then use one of the guns to kill himself. very good idea

[/ QUOTE ]

no. you misunderstand the greatness of this answer. 1, he gets to shoot terrorists, or wanna-be terrorists. being in the army gives almost automatic respect. this should help his self esteem, and his luck with the ladies (as long as he's wearing the uniform) 2. if this doesn't work out, he could always run into an RPG and "die for his country" instead of going out like a coward.

[JayLear]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I could just inject myself with something or swallow some poison and get it done quickly.

[/ QUOTE ]

IMO, sleeping pills + Jack Daniels is probably the ticket. If you drive off a cliff you might get lucky for the first time in your life and survive, so this is a poor option.

[/ QUOTE ]

Sleeping pills actually have a pretty low success rate, they usually just mess up your organs and keep you alive.

[/ QUOTE ]

Seppuku is the ancient art of killing yourself if you get super pissed and can’t find anybody else to kill. Ninjas use all sorts of crap to kill themselves—guns, ropes, knives, lasers, spears, etc.—and don’t even think twice about it. These guys would kill themselves for just about any reason and often for no reason at all: that’s why we there are so few ninjas today.

But if you want to commit Seppuku and you’re like me, you don’t have access to stuff like lasers. But there’s hope. I tried to kill myself by swallowing a frisbee a couple of times—and believe me, it’s pretty cool. The only catch is you have to be really super pissed to do it.

Step 1 Get a frisbee from the store or friend.
Step 2 Clean the Frisbee.
Step 3 Make sure your parents aren’t around
Step 4 Put something slippery on it, like butter or cream.
Step 5 Get really super pissed.
Step 6 Fold the Frisbee hard (this is crucial)
Step 7 Keep folded and insert Frisbee into mouth hard.
Step 8 Push hard until you can’t see it.
Step 9 Wait.
Step 10 Die.

[jakethebake]

Any guesses as to the name of someguy2's real account? /images/graemlins/tongue.gif

[someguy2]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
join the military

[/ QUOTE ]
and then use one of the guns to kill himself. very good idea

[/ QUOTE ]

no. you misunderstand the greatness of this answer. 1, he gets to shoot terrorists, or wanna-be terrorists. being in the army gives almost automatic respect. this should help his self esteem, and his luck with the ladies (as long as he's wearing the uniform) 2. if this doesn't work out, he could always run into an RPG and "die for his country" instead of going out like a coward.

[/ QUOTE ]

I hate this country. I would never "die for this country". As for the self esteem and getting lucky with the ladies, I'm [censored] ugly as hell. Nothing is going to change that. Shooting terrorists sounds kind of cool though.

[KramerTM]

[ QUOTE ]
Any guesses as to the name of someguy2's real account? /images/graemlins/tongue.gif

[/ QUOTE ]

Varkoni02?

[IndieMatty]

[ QUOTE ]
http://img325.imageshack.us/img325/2537/flamingpoo1ny.jpg

[/ QUOTE ]

This is a good use of this picture.

[someguy2]

[ QUOTE ]
Any guesses as to the name of someguy2's real account? /images/graemlins/tongue.gif

[/ QUOTE ]

This is my "real" account, I don't understand why you think this post is such a big joke.

[Freakin]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
join the military

[/ QUOTE ]
and then use one of the guns to kill himself. very good idea

[/ QUOTE ]

no. you misunderstand the greatness of this answer. 1, he gets to shoot terrorists, or wanna-be terrorists. being in the army gives almost automatic respect. this should help his self esteem, and his luck with the ladies (as long as he's wearing the uniform) 2. if this doesn't work out, he could always run into an RPG and "die for his country" instead of going out like a coward.

[/ QUOTE ]

I hate this country. I would never "die for this country". As for the self esteem and getting lucky with the ladies, I'm [censored] ugly as hell. Nothing is going to change that. Shooting terrorists sounds kind of cool though.

[/ QUOTE ]

1 out of 3 isn't bad. And you'd probably start looking good if you went through basic and got in shape. Chicks dig guys with muscles, regardless of their looks.

Freakin

[someguy2]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
join the military

[/ QUOTE ]
and then use one of the guns to kill himself. very good idea

[/ QUOTE ]

no. you misunderstand the greatness of this answer. 1, he gets to shoot terrorists, or wanna-be terrorists. being in the army gives almost automatic respect. this should help his self esteem, and his luck with the ladies (as long as he's wearing the uniform) 2. if this doesn't work out, he could always run into an RPG and "die for his country" instead of going out like a coward.

[/ QUOTE ]

I hate this country. I would never "die for this country". As for the self esteem and getting lucky with the ladies, I'm [censored] ugly as hell. Nothing is going to change that. Shooting terrorists sounds kind of cool though.

[/ QUOTE ]

1 out of 3 isn't bad. And you'd probably start looking good if you went through basic and got in shape. Chicks dig guys with muscles, regardless of their looks.

Freakin

[/ QUOTE ]

I am hideous, I doubt getting a nice body would change that. And I have millions of zits all over my back/chest/arms/neck.

[KramerTM]

I could use a bot. They don't have to be particularly good-looking. I'd give you 10% off the top, but you'd have to wear a bag over your head when my gf got home. Any interest?

[JayLear]

[ QUOTE ]
I am a giant loser. I am ugly, I will never get laid. I am lonely, I have no friends. I have no skills, I am not good at anything. All I do everyday is lose money playing poker and jack off. But I'm too big of a pussy to kill myself, because I'm scared. Please encourage me so I can muster up the courage to kill myself. Thanks.

[/ QUOTE ]

Are you good at jacking off? This is a real skill, sir.

[pokerdirty]

[ QUOTE ]


I am hideous, I doubt getting a nice body would change that. And I have millions of zits all over my back/chest/arms/neck.

[/ QUOTE ]

a shower might solve this.

[jakethebake]

How old are you, someguy2?

[Stickmn24]

[ QUOTE ]
Seppuku is the ancient art of killing yourself if you get super pissed and can’t find anybody else to kill. Ninjas use all sorts of crap to kill themselves—guns, ropes, knives, lasers, spears, etc.—and don’t even think twice about it. These guys would kill themselves for just about any reason and often for no reason at all: that’s why we there are so few ninjas today.

But if you want to commit Seppuku and you’re like me, you don’t have access to stuff like lasers. But there’s hope. I tried to kill myself by swallowing a frisbee a couple of times—and believe me, it’s pretty cool. The only catch is you have to be really super pissed to do it.

Step 1 Get a frisbee from the store or friend.
Step 2 Clean the Frisbee.
Step 3 Make sure your parents aren’t around
Step 4 Put something slippery on it, like butter or cream.
Step 5 Get really super pissed.
Step 6 Fold the Frisbee hard (this is crucial)
Step 7 Keep folded and insert Frisbee into mouth hard.
Step 8 Push hard until you can’t see it.
Step 9 Wait.
Step 10 Die.

[/ QUOTE ]

Wow... I guess no one else has ever heard of Real Ultimate Power. But the better quote is "Ninjas are sooooooo cool that I want to crap my pants." /images/graemlins/grin.gif

[jakethebake]

[ QUOTE ]
Wow... I guess no one else has ever heard of Real Ultimate Power.

[/ QUOTE ]

It only gets posted about once a month or so. /images/graemlins/tongue.gif

[HopeydaFish]

[ QUOTE ]
Any guesses as to the name of someguy2's real account? /images/graemlins/tongue.gif

[/ QUOTE ]

Am I evil for hoping this is Peachy's cry for help? /images/graemlins/grin.gif

[someguy2]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]


I am hideous, I doubt getting a nice body would change that. And I have millions of zits all over my back/chest/arms/neck.

[/ QUOTE ]

a shower might solve this.

[/ QUOTE ]

?

[someguy2]

[ QUOTE ]
How old are you, someguy2?

[/ QUOTE ]

I'm 24.

[DavidC]

[ QUOTE ]
join the military

[/ QUOTE ]

Interesting answer.

[DcifrThs]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
How old are you, someguy2?

[/ QUOTE ]

I'm 24.

[/ QUOTE ]

I dont care if you'r 24 or 55 and still a virgin and never been to a bar w/ friends or hung out.

the bottom line is i think killing yourself is wrong, morally, logically, and mathematically.

your utility while dead is 0, and while your current utility may be negative (i.e. its better to be dead now), your future utility may (on an expectation level) be positive.

as an externality (your existance makes others happy) what about your family. THEIR utility has to be taken into consideration as well as that of those that are dependent upon you (your offspring if you follow what follows)

despite your being ugly, there are girls who would like you for who YOU are and/ or who you could be.

there are medications to take care of your acne.

you can work out to increase your body's attractiveness.

spend time with people or meet them via the internet when you have nothing to lose, since it appears you do, indeed, have nothing to lose.

there's always something you can do and first and foremost id say GET ON A REGULAR RUNNING/CARDIO workout schedule.

this will cure your laziness and motivation to live.

its addictive. running/cardio releases endorphines that make you happy. makes you less lazy and eventually a motivated and constructive member of society.

basically, try other stuff before taking the easy way out.

Barron

[blaze666]

[ QUOTE ]
I am a giant loser. I am ugly, I will never get laid. I am lonely, I have no friends. I have no skills, I am not good at anything. All I do everyday is lose money playing poker and jack off. But I'm too big of a pussy to kill myself, because I'm scared. Please encourage me so I can muster up the courage to kill myself. Thanks.

[/ QUOTE ]


kill yourself like a man. (http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/c.cgi?u=manly_suicide)

[Michael Davis]

If you want to kill yourself, do it. If you don't want to, don't.

You don't have a responsibility to anybody but yourself. If existence really is more pain than pleasure for you, don't worry about the feelings of your family members. They have no right to expect you to continue existing when clearly you don't want to.

What you should stop doing is making lame posts in internet forums. It doesn't make a damn bit of difference to me or anyone else here whether you kill yourself or not. I can sympathize with your problems, and if you really feel like the effort required to change is too much, go ahead and off yourself. Just stop crying and whining about your relatively regular problems, either accept them and deal with it in whatever way you can, or kill yourself. Easy.

-Michael

[Rootabager]

start doing better drugs like acid. it's cheap and you might have some fun by yourself. also huffing gas could be ok, and it's pretty cheap. Ether also could be fun

Start going to alot of hookers they will be fun for awhile and if you catch a disease you dont mind dying anyway.

[private joker]

Most of OOT needs this. (http://www.somethingawful.com/articles.php?a=3185)

[Boris]

order a russian bride and get laid before killing yourself. you'll feel better.

[whiskeytown]

surprising, this isn't my gimmick account-

I've got enough stress worrying about whether I'm guilty of a hit and run - I don't need to add a rape charge to that

RB

[CrazyEyez]

[ QUOTE ]
surprising, this isn't my gimmick account-

I've got enough stress worrying about whether I'm guilty of a hit and run - I don't need to add a rape charge to that

RB

[/ QUOTE ]

It was a MINVAN!!! /images/graemlins/grin.gif

[ QUOTE ]
join the military

[/ QUOTE ]

What happens if he just gets maimed and loses a couple limbs? It might make it hard for him to follow through then.

[TheBlueMonster]

um.....

[arod15]

I feel guilty im laughing at this. Dont kill yourself and stop jacking off. Stop playing poker, just use the money youd lose there to get a prostitute. This way you will build your confidence. Also, if you hit them raw that is almost like suicide right....

[Felix_Nietsche]

I've seen a lot of ugly guys live lives that porn stars would envy. Get off your ass and join a gym and start working out. A strong healthy body does wonders for self confidence and promotes a more positive attitude.

[RRRRICK]

I vote that people posting on a message board about wanting to kill themselves is as lame as lame gets.

If someone was REALLY serious they would post a suicide note

[LeatherFace]

[ QUOTE ]
I feel guilty im laughing at this.

[/ QUOTE ]

Don't. We all know he isn't going to do it. He's to chicken.

[2+2 wannabe]

posting replies in a thread like this has gotten accounts banned in the past FWIW

[PorscheNGuns]

Not that I'm advocating you taking in any more breath, but...

http://www.poker-babes.com/bio/barry-greenstein/Barry2.jpg

[Rick Nebiolo]

[ QUOTE ]
If you want to kill yourself, do it. If you don't want to, don't.

[/ QUOTE ]

OK.

[ QUOTE ]
You don't have a responsibility to anybody but yourself. If existence really is more pain than pleasure for you, don't worry about the feelings of your family members. They have no right to expect you to continue existing when clearly you don't want to.

[/ QUOTE ]

I hope you are kidding but I really can't tell. Suicide destroys those left behind.

[ QUOTE ]
What you should stop doing is making lame posts in internet forums.

[/ QUOTE ]

Now you're back on track.

~ Rick

[LoveDub]

[ QUOTE ]

Try this unplug the computer and drop it in the bath tub and turn the shower on

[/ QUOTE ]

That won't work. You have to either:

A. Put the computer in the bath tub and jump into the bath tub.
OR
B. Put the computer into the shower and jump into the shower.

If you have one of those combo bath tub/showers, then ignore me. It will work.

[LoveDub]

[ QUOTE ]

Not that I'm advocating you taking in any more breath, but...


[/ QUOTE ]

NH. Anyone else think Barry looks like Nosferatu?

[Huhmare]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
you should get good at poker and win money. It will make you feel better.

[/ QUOTE ]

I am too dumb and lazy to get any good at poker.

[/ QUOTE ]

That is BS. I'm winning player and I can tell, that winning money doesn't make you any happier..

Seriously man. Get an ugly chick. Women are the purpose of life... Gen 2:18 Then the LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him."

[jakethebake]

Results?

[ QUOTE ]
If you haven't already done so, I would just start drinking heavily. Alcohol triggers that thing in your brain that controls courage, and you will feel more comfortable talking to people. Just get a flask and take it wherever you go. Maybe this will help with your courage problems, and if it doesn't, it will eventually kill you anyway. Good luck! /images/graemlins/smile.gif

[/ QUOTE ]

Works for me. Great advice!

[LeatherFace]

[ QUOTE ]
Results?

[/ QUOTE ]

I just LOLed my pants.

Rob a bank Heat style.