01-12-2002, 03:23 PM
Sloppy Seconds
Encourage by some of my friends, here in Chicago land, I wrote the following essay for Card Player magazine. It was rejected of course. Like getting pocket aces cracked, I am wounded but not dead. I hope you'll like it. SPM
The Valley of Patience
The drive home after a losing session on the Hold'em battlefields can be a tongue lashing from self to self. We will call it a meeting of the minds. Two players will be at this meeting. One will be a resident from the Valley of Patience, the other from Border Town.
In the Valley of Patience, we will find the Rocks of the poker world. Rocks live a mostly motionless life, one only sees them move when they are ready to drop a bolder on your head. Also, in the Valley of Patience are the Gladiator's of the poker community, Gladiator's play a selectively tight and aggressive game. Gladiators' are relentlessly aggressive and fight with a mighty sword called Edge.
The other player at this meeting of the minds will come from Border Town, as the Town name suggests Border Town borders of the Valley of Patience. In Border Town we find emotional players who find life in the Valley way too tedious for their emotional state of mind. We know Border Town players have crossed the border into the Valley. However, very few Border Town players stay in the Valley of Patience very long. Players from Border Town know how to play a solid game but they are an emotional band of thugs who are unable to control their emotions.
The location of the Valley of Patience (VoP) and Border Town (BT) does not belong to the physical world. Consider them as mind sets, playing styles, we have when in the heat of battle on the front lines of the Hold'em wars. All players begin their poker lives in Any2card Town, a mind set of the clueless, calling stations and maniacs, some live there forever, some change their playing styles. As experience and knowledge are loaded into their brains they decide, live in the VoP or BT or remain in Any2card Town as a calling station or maniac. The meeting of the minds on the way home goes something like this . . .
Inside your head, the voice of the VoP player, "You big dummy, did you forget your brain on the way to the casino? You gave yourself another statistical cleansing. Your hourly winning rate was looking good. Nevertheless, you decided giving yourself a statistical cleansing was in order! So once again you prove your hourly win rate was greater than your ability to play." Denial Boy from BT, "What do you mean, I was playing in the VoP, I was up four stacks. Can I help it that I got those pocket aces cracked? It wasn't my fault, you saw, I got a bad beat." Voice of reason from the VoP, "Hey Emotional Retard, I'm not talking about the guy from Any2card Town (A2CT). He got lucky when he caught the two running cards for the nut flush with his pocket duces. So what your pocket Aces got trashed, it happens. Those clowns from A2CT were born to put bad beats on reasonable thinking players. You decided to leave the VoP the very next hand and never looked back. That's the reason you gave back the win and lost five stacks of your owe money." And so on...
Yes sir, that's the kind of conversation we get on the ride home. Disaster comes in the form of a clueless gambler and we experience chip destruction. Well, we left out some of the more colorful words but the concept of the conversation is intact. Only on the way home do we finally see the error of our ways. When a collision with an inferior hand crushes our hand, which should produce superior results, we relocate our mind set from the VoP to BT. Choosing to lose control and to travel down the emotional road of poor decisions and fuzzy thinking. Hot tempers is where control goes amuck, here is where steaming your chips away, until total evaporation is reached, becomes the order of the day. It's not the monster hand we lost that caused the woe's of this session's lose. It's leaving the VoP and heading for BT where emotions run hot. In BT your emotions begin to decide which two cards should be allowed to enter the battle. Hands that were released without giving them a second thought, when you were in the VoP, are now the hands you'll take into battle. You want so desperately to punish the clown from A2CT. You got annihilated with your monster hand, beaten senseless with rags and now your emotions take over the reigns. When this happens you forget the first rule of engagement, PATIENCE.
The first rule of engagement says we must have the discipline to stay in the Valley. In the VoP releasing the rag hands is the order of the day. In wartime, medals are given for showing courage on the battlefield. We have all heard stories of a soldier storming an enemies position. He's out gunned with only inferior weapons and his raw courage and will to win. He overcomes the great odds and all who hear of his victory, call him brave. Being considered brave is a manly thing. On the battlefields of the Hold'em wars, entering a skirmish with two inferior cards and then winning in spite of the long odds against, is not considered brave. This foolish Hold'em player is called a Lucky Fish. This fish will in the long run feed the residents of the VoP.
In the Hold'em wars discipline is the first ingredient needed to be brave. Having the discipline to wait for the hand that looks like a tank. Then aggressively moving forward and blowing up the enemies weak resistence. Should the enemy get a lucky shot and destroy the tank, don't become a charging lunatic with two rags waving high from each hand saying, "I'm going to get you, for this insult to my ego!" No, you wait for the supply officer, Captain Dealer to send you another tank. You then move slowly forward and blow the so and so's into kingdom come.
In the Hold'em wars courage is having the discipline to stay focused. Releasing hand after hand, playing from the VoP no matter what happens in one or more minor skirmishes. The problem with letting your emotions take over and rushing your opponents position with rags is, you might win the skirmish. What's wrong with that you ask? It's like trying to eat just one potato chip when your on a diet. Having that first taste of winning ugly leads you down a dangerous path. A person on a diet eating the forbidden food once then twice will inevitably return to the junk food lines.
Living in the VoP takes a commitment to discipline, courage to release the rags and not let your emotions pull you off your designated course. You can't go on a junk food diet and expect to lose weight and stay thin for the rest of your life. You must choose a different life style, to win the war of the bulge. Playing in the VoP is a life time commitment, to a sound playing style. You'll know when you have become a permeant resident of the VoP. You'll be on roller skates one day breezing past the competition jumping over rocks and other obstacles. Then from out of no where a rag merchant will jump out and knock you off your feet. A tow truck from the Emotions of Defeat will show up and try to pull you into BT, yet even on roller skates the tow truck will be unable to pull you into Border Town. With your emotions under control you'll know, you are a permanent resident of the Valley of Patience.
Suburban Poker Man,...play long and prosper...
P.S. To 2+2 posters I just re-read it and I agree with Card player this stinks pee-u...
Encourage by some of my friends, here in Chicago land, I wrote the following essay for Card Player magazine. It was rejected of course. Like getting pocket aces cracked, I am wounded but not dead. I hope you'll like it. SPM
The Valley of Patience
The drive home after a losing session on the Hold'em battlefields can be a tongue lashing from self to self. We will call it a meeting of the minds. Two players will be at this meeting. One will be a resident from the Valley of Patience, the other from Border Town.
In the Valley of Patience, we will find the Rocks of the poker world. Rocks live a mostly motionless life, one only sees them move when they are ready to drop a bolder on your head. Also, in the Valley of Patience are the Gladiator's of the poker community, Gladiator's play a selectively tight and aggressive game. Gladiators' are relentlessly aggressive and fight with a mighty sword called Edge.
The other player at this meeting of the minds will come from Border Town, as the Town name suggests Border Town borders of the Valley of Patience. In Border Town we find emotional players who find life in the Valley way too tedious for their emotional state of mind. We know Border Town players have crossed the border into the Valley. However, very few Border Town players stay in the Valley of Patience very long. Players from Border Town know how to play a solid game but they are an emotional band of thugs who are unable to control their emotions.
The location of the Valley of Patience (VoP) and Border Town (BT) does not belong to the physical world. Consider them as mind sets, playing styles, we have when in the heat of battle on the front lines of the Hold'em wars. All players begin their poker lives in Any2card Town, a mind set of the clueless, calling stations and maniacs, some live there forever, some change their playing styles. As experience and knowledge are loaded into their brains they decide, live in the VoP or BT or remain in Any2card Town as a calling station or maniac. The meeting of the minds on the way home goes something like this . . .
Inside your head, the voice of the VoP player, "You big dummy, did you forget your brain on the way to the casino? You gave yourself another statistical cleansing. Your hourly winning rate was looking good. Nevertheless, you decided giving yourself a statistical cleansing was in order! So once again you prove your hourly win rate was greater than your ability to play." Denial Boy from BT, "What do you mean, I was playing in the VoP, I was up four stacks. Can I help it that I got those pocket aces cracked? It wasn't my fault, you saw, I got a bad beat." Voice of reason from the VoP, "Hey Emotional Retard, I'm not talking about the guy from Any2card Town (A2CT). He got lucky when he caught the two running cards for the nut flush with his pocket duces. So what your pocket Aces got trashed, it happens. Those clowns from A2CT were born to put bad beats on reasonable thinking players. You decided to leave the VoP the very next hand and never looked back. That's the reason you gave back the win and lost five stacks of your owe money." And so on...
Yes sir, that's the kind of conversation we get on the ride home. Disaster comes in the form of a clueless gambler and we experience chip destruction. Well, we left out some of the more colorful words but the concept of the conversation is intact. Only on the way home do we finally see the error of our ways. When a collision with an inferior hand crushes our hand, which should produce superior results, we relocate our mind set from the VoP to BT. Choosing to lose control and to travel down the emotional road of poor decisions and fuzzy thinking. Hot tempers is where control goes amuck, here is where steaming your chips away, until total evaporation is reached, becomes the order of the day. It's not the monster hand we lost that caused the woe's of this session's lose. It's leaving the VoP and heading for BT where emotions run hot. In BT your emotions begin to decide which two cards should be allowed to enter the battle. Hands that were released without giving them a second thought, when you were in the VoP, are now the hands you'll take into battle. You want so desperately to punish the clown from A2CT. You got annihilated with your monster hand, beaten senseless with rags and now your emotions take over the reigns. When this happens you forget the first rule of engagement, PATIENCE.
The first rule of engagement says we must have the discipline to stay in the Valley. In the VoP releasing the rag hands is the order of the day. In wartime, medals are given for showing courage on the battlefield. We have all heard stories of a soldier storming an enemies position. He's out gunned with only inferior weapons and his raw courage and will to win. He overcomes the great odds and all who hear of his victory, call him brave. Being considered brave is a manly thing. On the battlefields of the Hold'em wars, entering a skirmish with two inferior cards and then winning in spite of the long odds against, is not considered brave. This foolish Hold'em player is called a Lucky Fish. This fish will in the long run feed the residents of the VoP.
In the Hold'em wars discipline is the first ingredient needed to be brave. Having the discipline to wait for the hand that looks like a tank. Then aggressively moving forward and blowing up the enemies weak resistence. Should the enemy get a lucky shot and destroy the tank, don't become a charging lunatic with two rags waving high from each hand saying, "I'm going to get you, for this insult to my ego!" No, you wait for the supply officer, Captain Dealer to send you another tank. You then move slowly forward and blow the so and so's into kingdom come.
In the Hold'em wars courage is having the discipline to stay focused. Releasing hand after hand, playing from the VoP no matter what happens in one or more minor skirmishes. The problem with letting your emotions take over and rushing your opponents position with rags is, you might win the skirmish. What's wrong with that you ask? It's like trying to eat just one potato chip when your on a diet. Having that first taste of winning ugly leads you down a dangerous path. A person on a diet eating the forbidden food once then twice will inevitably return to the junk food lines.
Living in the VoP takes a commitment to discipline, courage to release the rags and not let your emotions pull you off your designated course. You can't go on a junk food diet and expect to lose weight and stay thin for the rest of your life. You must choose a different life style, to win the war of the bulge. Playing in the VoP is a life time commitment, to a sound playing style. You'll know when you have become a permeant resident of the VoP. You'll be on roller skates one day breezing past the competition jumping over rocks and other obstacles. Then from out of no where a rag merchant will jump out and knock you off your feet. A tow truck from the Emotions of Defeat will show up and try to pull you into BT, yet even on roller skates the tow truck will be unable to pull you into Border Town. With your emotions under control you'll know, you are a permanent resident of the Valley of Patience.
Suburban Poker Man,...play long and prosper...
P.S. To 2+2 posters I just re-read it and I agree with Card player this stinks pee-u...