English Paper, wtf? No subject?!?!?

My English teacher assigned us a 3 page (short, thats good) paper due in 2 days. It can be on any subject. I want it to be good, seeing as it is my first paper for the class. OOT, I need you now more than ever. Any suggestion is welcome, however, some good ones are needed if you think they will impress the teacher. Godspeed.

[Wake up CALL]

Do you know any interests that your teacher has? Any favorite Authors or writing styles? Does your teacher have any personal items on his/her desk? What kind of car do they drive? Are they single or married? A war protestor or war mongor?

[smokingrobot]

The notion of the self within the confines of Kant's philosphical system as put forth in critique of pure reason.

Your intro will ask these two questions: where do they succeed and where do they fail?

[Voltron87]

talk about how we're slaves to our possessions, about how we are slaves to the system. then end it on something witty about how the things we own... own us?

[kipin]

Just reuse a paper you wrote that earned a high grade in some other class.

[Dynasty]

[ QUOTE ]
Do you know any interests that your teacher has? Any favorite Authors or writing styles? Does your teacher have any personal items on his/her desk? What kind of car do they drive? Are they single or married? A war protestor or war mongor?

[/ QUOTE ]

These are all bad questions.

The OP should write about what he knows. The teacher almost certainly wants to get a read on the OP's initial writing skills.

[DasLeben]

It's due in 2 days? Why the hell are you starting now? Come back at 1am on the day it's due (like a good college student) and we'll give you some good info.

My table for when you should start a paper:

<10 pages: 1 day prior to due date.
10< pages: 2 days prior to due date (The second day covers any research you have to do. The actual paper should always be written the day prior to the due date).

Trust me on this. I have a Bachelor's degree. I speak from experience.

[durron597]

What are the subjects you know best? List the top 3-5 and we will help you pick one of them.

[Sooga]

Write a paper about how it's impossible to write a good 3 page paper in only 2 days. Cite examples of yours from the past.

[Wake up CALL]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Do you know any interests that your teacher has? Any favorite Authors or writing styles? Does your teacher have any personal items on his/her desk? What kind of car do they drive? Are they single or married? A war protestor or war mongor?

[/ QUOTE ]

These are all bad questions.

The OP should write about what he knows. The teacher almost certainly wants to get a read on the OP's initial writing skills.

[/ QUOTE ]

Then perhaps he should write a paper about online poker. My questions were more to be used to avoid a controversy than to establish the baseline subject for the paper, but since you simply dismissed them as bad without any further thought I doubt you should be offering the OP any advice either.

Things I am familiar with:

1. Poker /images/graemlins/grin.gif
2. Movies
3. Golf
4. OOT
5. The feeling the next morning when you wake up and you realize that you had some very thick beer goggles on last night.

[durron597]

[ QUOTE ]

2. Movies

[/ QUOTE ]

You should definitely write about this.

[tbach24]

</font><blockquote><font class="small">En respuesta a:</font><hr />
Things I am familiar with:

1. Poker /images/graemlins/grin.gif
2. Movies
3. Golf
4. OOT
5. The feeling the next morning when you wake up and you realize that you had some very thick beer goggles on last night.

[/ QUOTE ]

Golf and it's not close

[Dynasty]

[ QUOTE ]
Things I am familiar with:

1. Poker /images/graemlins/grin.gif
2. Movies
3. Golf
4. OOT
5. The feeling the next morning when you wake up and you realize that you had some very thick beer goggles on last night.

[/ QUOTE ]

Any of these is good. The topic isn't really important. What's important to your teacher is that you demonstarte your writing ability.

[Bradyams]

Write about golf or poker. English teachers (atleast good teachers) are always interested in stuff they know little about. The more ineterested they are in your paper, the better grade you get.

[Michael Davis]

Write about the best way to perform cunnilingus. Write extremely well, and hopefully the paper is used as an example.

-Michael

[Dynasty]

[ QUOTE ]
Write about the best way to perform cunnilingus. Write extremely well, and hopefully the paper is used as an example.

[/ QUOTE ]

This is not a good idea. He has to write about something he's knowledgeable about.

[Sephus]

[ QUOTE ]
Just reuse a paper you wrote that earned a high grade in some other class.

[/ QUOTE ]

if youd rather take a small risk of being kicked out of school than write a new paper.

[gonores]

I disagree. WIth vague, open writing assignments, the professor usually wants to see if you can fully develop thoughts in a short space. Writing about something as vague as "poker" or "golf" is going to condemn his paper. He'd be much better off writing about the intricaces of a good flop shot or when conditions are correct for a limp-reraise. The more specific he is, the better. You want to really feel like nothing needs elaboration by the end of page 3.

[Sightless]

Slavery in Belgium

[Sooga]

Hmm, can you be kicked out for that? It's not like you're plagiarizing someone else's work...

[Dynasty]

[ QUOTE ]
Hmm, can you be kicked out for that? It's not like you're plagiarizing someone else's work...

[/ QUOTE ]

I don't think there's any risk of being kicked out.

[Sephus]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Hmm, can you be kicked out for that? It's not like you're plagiarizing someone else's work...

[/ QUOTE ]

I don't think there's any risk of being kicked out.

[/ QUOTE ]

maybe just failing the course and getting put on academic probation.

submitting the same work for different assignments is generally considered plagiarism.

[edtost]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Hmm, can you be kicked out for that? It's not like you're plagiarizing someone else's work...

[/ QUOTE ]

I don't think there's any risk of being kicked out.

[/ QUOTE ]

maybe just failing the course and getting put on academic probation.

submitting the same work for different assignments is generally considered plagiarism.

[/ QUOTE ]

from my school's "rights, rules, responsibilities" book:

[ QUOTE ]
Definitions of Academic Violations under the Jurisdiction of the Faculty-Student Committee on Discipline

With regard to essays, laboratory reports, or any other written work submitted to fulfill an official academic requirement, the following are considered academic infractions:

Plagiarism

The use of any outside source without proper acknowledgment. “Outside source” means any work, published or unpublished, by any person other than the student. (See pages 58–59.)

Unauthorized Multiple Submission

The failure to obtain prior written permission of the relevant instructors to submit any work that has been submitted in identical or similar form in fulfillment of any other academic requirement at any institution.

False Citation

The attribution to, or citation of, a source from which the material in question was not, in fact, obtained.

False Data

The submission of data or information that has been deliberately altered or contrived by the student or with the student’s knowledge, including the submission for re-grading of any academic work under the jurisdiction of the Committee on Discipline.

[/ QUOTE ]

it appears that unauthorized resubmission is considered seperate from plagerism, though the penalties for both are the same.

[Reef]

write it on OOT itself?

[durron597]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]

2. Movies

[/ QUOTE ]

You should definitely write about this.

[/ QUOTE ]

When I said "this", I didn't mean movies, I meant something specific relating to movies. But without knowing more about what movies you like/paid attention to, I couldn't be more specific.

Whatever your topic, make sure it is as specific as possible.

[TheBlueMonster]

[ QUOTE ]
The feeling the next morning when you wake up and you realize that you had some very thick beer goggles on last night.


[/ QUOTE ]
Use this one. If you can pull it off well, you'd impress any teacher with a sense of humor. Hell, a former prof. of mine would have given this paper an A just based on subject....

[DougShrapnel]

LASORS!!!!!!!!!!!111111110

[MikeNaked]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
The feeling the next morning when you wake up and you realize that you had some very thick beer goggles on last night.


[/ QUOTE ]
Use this one. If you can pull it off well, you'd impress any teacher with a sense of humor. Hell, a former prof. of mine would have given this paper an A just based on subject....

[/ QUOTE ]

As an English teacher, I agree. A entertaining narrative is the safest bet, whether the topic is beer googles, poker, or cunnilingus...or all three.

[tolbiny]

If you are an english major who wants to impress a teacher and get a good foothold with the department you should do your best on this paper.
Otherwise you want to turn in a mediocre paper (or at least not a top notch one)- your teacher wants to evaluate your abilities, and the easiest way to get a good grade in a class like this is to show improvement. It will stroke the teachers ego to think that you are progressing in their class.
Unless of course this paper is a sig poriton of your grade.

[MikeNaked]

[ QUOTE ]
As an English teacher, I agree. An entertaining narrative is the safest bet, whether the topic is beer googles, poker, or cunnilingus...or all three.

[/ QUOTE ]

Before everyone starts jumping all over my sh*t and lamenting on the state of public education... /images/graemlins/grin.gif

[EliteNinja]

Just copy something from Sklansky in the Science, Math and Religion forum.

"How to win at card game involving two hole cards and 5 cards on the table"

"Choosing the correct tennis racquet"

I have decided to do it on golf. specifically:

-how i began playing more regularly and why
-what bigger meaning golf has (what can it teach us about real life)
-how i got closer to my father through golf (not really, but....)
-??????

[WackityWhiz]

Joe decides to take his boss Phil to play 9 holes on their lunch. While both men are playing excellent they are often held up by two women in front of them moving at a very slow pace. Joe offers to talk to the women and see if they can speed it up a bit. He gets about half of the way there stops and jogs back.

His boss asks what the problem is. "Well one of those women is my wife and the other my mistress," complained Joe. Phil just shook his head at Joe and started toward the women determined to finish his round of golf. Preparing to ask the ladies to speed up their game, he too stopped short and turned around.

Joe asked "what's wrong?" It's a small, small world Joe, and you're fired"

[wtfsvi]

That's such a cliché. I can assure you the teacher will find it very boring. (And it is.)

(I reallize you were probably not serious, but serious as in "this is what the teacher wants". But it's not.)