Worst time and Place to SHART.

[arod15]

My First day of College I was walking to Catch the bus to school and SHARTED on the bus. I Proceed to get off the next stop and walk home about 30 minutes. Real embarrasing and the smell was awful. Any similarly bad and Embarrising expereinces? Discuss

[diebitter]

In a really, really quiet library during pre-exams?

[jokerthief]

Shart???

[TheIrishThug]

[ QUOTE ]
Shart???

[/ QUOTE ]
yeah that was my thought to. like at first i might have been some weird typo, but he used it twice.

[diebitter]

Come on guys, I've never heard it before, and I worked it out in about 5 seconds. It's two words combined into one:

gigantic + enourmous = ginourmous
sh... + ...art = shart

work it out.

[mostsmooth]

i think its a combo poop/fart. you can figure out what the real word for poop is. heaven forbid we use a curse word.

[jakethebake]

[ QUOTE ]
Shart???

[/ QUOTE ]

I have no idea what you people are talking about. /images/graemlins/confused.gif

[jakethebake]

[ QUOTE ]
i think its a combo poop/fart. you can figure out what the real word for poop is. heaven forbid we use a curse word.

[/ QUOTE ]

Why didn't he just call it a poop/fart? And why does he have weird random words capitalized in his post?

[jokerthief]

I just figured it was a way of saying fart. Now the post is hilarious! I have never sharted in my life, thank God.

[MikeNaked]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
i think its a combo poop/fart. you can figure out what the real word for poop is. heaven forbid we use a curse word.

[/ QUOTE ]

Why didn't he just call it a poop/fart? And why does he have weird random words capitalized in his post?

[/ QUOTE ]


Some regions use the term "froop"...

[TheIrishThug]

yeah, that adds a completely different aspect to the story. i would think that walking for 30 mins would the sh part to get smeared all over ur butt. i think i would have just stuck it out on the bus. i mean they already know it was u, is them dealing with it for a few more mins really gonna change their impression of u?

[oddjob]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
i think its a combo poop/fart. you can figure out what the real word for poop is. heaven forbid we use a curse word.

[/ QUOTE ]

Why didn't he just call it a poop/fart? And why does he have weird random words capitalized in his post?

[/ QUOTE ]

this reminds me of the time my friend ordererd an arnold palmer

friend: i'd like an arnold palmer

waitress: what's that?

friend: half lemonade and ice tea

waitress: why don't you just ask for lemonade and ice tea

friend: because it's called an arnold palmer

[jakethebake]

[ QUOTE ]
this reminds me of the time my friend ordererd an arnold palmer

friend: i'd like an arnold palmer

waitress: what's that?

friend: half lemonade and ice tea

waitress: why don't you just ask for lemonade and ice tea

friend: because it's called an arnold palmer

[/ QUOTE ]

This is only applicable if he made up the term Arnold Palmer like the OP did.

[ClassicBob]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
this reminds me of the time my friend ordererd an arnold palmer

friend: i'd like an arnold palmer

waitress: what's that?

friend: half lemonade and ice tea

waitress: why don't you just ask for lemonade and ice tea

friend: because it's called an arnold palmer

[/ QUOTE ]

This is only applicable if he made up the term Arnold Palmer like the OP did.

[/ QUOTE ]

Shart is a pre-existing term. It became famous in the movie "Along Came Polly."

[jakethebake]

[ QUOTE ]
Shart is a pre-existing term. It became famous in the movie "Along Came Polly."

[/ QUOTE ]

You're going to try to convince me that Along Came Polly made something famous?

[SackUp]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
this reminds me of the time my friend ordererd an arnold palmer

friend: i'd like an arnold palmer

waitress: what's that?

friend: half lemonade and ice tea

waitress: why don't you just ask for lemonade and ice tea

friend: because it's called an arnold palmer

[/ QUOTE ]

This is only applicable if he made up the term Arnold Palmer like the OP did.

[/ QUOTE ]

Shart is a pre-existing term. It became famous in the movie "Along Came Polly."

[/ QUOTE ]

Exactly, you beat me to it. I think the word it retarded, but it does have some basis at least.

And the correct answer to the OPs question is Anytime...who the fvck Sharts???

[SackUp]

[ QUOTE ]
Come on guys, I've never heard it before, and I worked it out in about 5 seconds. It's two words combined into one:

gigantic + enourmous = ginourmous
sh... + ...art = shart

work it out.

[/ QUOTE ]

why would you go ...art unless you did not know that it was fart there??

You obviously are not a golfer.

[kgrad5]

during sex

[cold_cash]

So you [censored] your pants on the bus?

That's awesome.

[pokerdirty]

[ QUOTE ]
during sex

[/ QUOTE ]

during a blowjob would be so much worse. ask big steve.

[Al P]

From Urban Dictionary:

The act of waiting for your girlfriend to go to the bathroom so that you can fart, but in attempting to do so you [censored] yourself, yell at your girlfriend to get out of the bathroom and then throw your shitty underpants out of her window and take a shower (even if you just took one).

[antidan444]

[ QUOTE ]
And the correct answer to the OPs question is Anytime...who the fvck Sharts???

[/ QUOTE ]

May you always be blissfully unaware of this terrible problem. I swear I do this once a year. You think you gotta pass a little gas, and the next thing you know ... oh [censored]! Literally.

BTW, the answer to this is, in the passenger seat of your girlfriend's brand new car, as the two of you were heading home for some "quality" time together. Leaving a stain on the seat makes it 10 times worse.

[private joker]

Jake is being too hard on A-rod. Shart is a common term that's been around since long before Along Came Polly. It is a sh|t-fart. You fart and a little bit of sh|t comes out.

I did it once when I was like 12, but luckily I was watching TV in my house and I quickly changed and threw my underwear out in the garbage outside. Nobody was the wiser.

Anyway, speaking of farting/sharting during sex, I was accidentally watching Celebrity P***r Showdown yesterday and Caroline Rhea was commenting on how Phil Gordon used the term "passing gas" in his book, then talked about how men like the topic of farting and women don't. She then said, "If I ever farted during sex I would fake my own death." That was funny to me.

[arod15]

Did this happen to you?

[arod15]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Shart???

[/ QUOTE ]

I have no idea what you people are talking about. /images/graemlins/confused.gif

[/ QUOTE ]

Its when you fart but really [censored] your pants.....

[TStoneMBD]

ive heard the term sharted several times before reading this thread and have heard the term several years ago as well.

[Eurotrash]

[ QUOTE ]
And why does he have weird random words capitalized in his post?

[/ QUOTE ]


this is the part that really baffles me.

[chuddo]

once when i was about 15-16 my friend and i were eating at kfc after being out riding our bikes all day.

in the middle of some story he was telling he paused, cocked his head and said, "wait, did you just hear that?"

he then half cocks his leg to rip a loud fart and instead it is a completely disgusting, almost 'bubbly' sound.

he immediately jumps out of his seat, runs to the bathroom, and i don't see him again for at least 20 minutes.

finally he walks back out, sits down, and the first thing he says is "i just shitt my F-ing pants dude."

he claimed it was "rotten mountain dew" that gave him diarrhea he did not expect.

he spent the time in the bathroom washing his boxers and shorts in the sink and then using the hand dryer to dry them a bit.

later he said "i thought it was just going to be a huge fart... i was so suprised by it that i would have crapped myself.. if not for the fact my ass had just emptied."

[kgrad5]

a friend of mine was eating a girl out when she let one rip..
he just stood up, got his clothes and left..

[David04]

Is there really a best time and place to shart?

[TomCollins]

In line, right about to get on a roller coaster.

[orange]

I was about 13 years old at a summer camp. I was prancing around the cabin like a fool, singing and pretty much f*cking around along with the other guys.

I felt one coming up, and, being in an all male cabin, it was time to blast one. I squatted low and spread the cheeks, hoping for maximum noise. "Hey guys, listen to this" I declared...

Instead, a sickening, wet, bubbly sound echoed throughout the cabin, and to my utter horror, I felt the rhea blast through. I grabbed a nearby tissue box and discovered that I indeed sharted myself.

I ran to the bathroom and cleaned for the rest of the afternoon.

Good times...

[Spaded]

On one of those funny/extreme video sites there was a guy who was lying face up on the ground, legs in the air. He then took a lighter and held it up to his rear and pushed as hard as he could and sharted a stream right thru his boxers.

[JihadOnTheRiver]

I sharted as soon as I got shot off the catapult in the cockpit of a Navy jet. It was the start of a 2 hour mission. Unfortunately, I am not kidding...

[DougOzzzz]

I hadn't even heard of the term before, but this brings up really terrible memories of an incident in 7th grade that ruined my social life for about 3 years...

[PoBoy321]

I was in high school when I went out for like a 4 mile jog and as soon as I hit the 2 mile mark, I had to [censored], so I stopped running, but I knew that if I walked, I wouldn't be able to make it home in time to not [censored] myself, so I'd start running, but that just made me have to [censored] more, so I just didn't know what to do. I debated just stopping on the side of the road and just shitting on the curb, but seriously, who the [censored] would do that? So I walked, in that kind of "I have to [censored], so I'm clenching my ass cheeks, but I'm trying to walk really fast, so I look like a black guy making fun of the way white people walk" walk, when all of a sudden, I felt what I thought was a fart coming out, so I said "OK, maybe that'll relieve some pressure," but no, I [censored] myself, and i just didn't know what to do, so I just walked home with this huge load in my pants, and it was the single most disgusting moment of my life.

[Eurotrash]

[ QUOTE ]
I was in high school when I went out for like a 4 mile jog and as soon as I hit the 2 mile mark, I had to [censored], so I stopped running, but I knew that if I walked, I wouldn't be able to make it home in time to not [censored] myself, so I'd start running, but that just made me have to [censored] more, so I just didn't know what to do. I debated just stopping on the side of the road and just shitting on the curb, but seriously, who the [censored] would do that? So I walked, in that kind of "I have to [censored], so I'm clenching my ass cheeks, but I'm trying to walk really fast, so I look like a black guy making fun of the way white people walk" walk, when all of a sudden, I felt what I thought was a fart coming out, so I said "OK, maybe that'll relieve some pressure," but no, I [censored] myself, and i just didn't know what to do, so I just walked home with this huge load in my pants, and it was the single most disgusting moment of my life.

[/ QUOTE ]


this one had me laughing out loud, Poboy.

[Voltron87]

[ QUOTE ]
I was in high school when I went out for like a 4 mile jog and as soon as I hit the 2 mile mark, I had to [censored], so I stopped running, but I knew that if I walked, I wouldn't be able to make it home in time to not [censored] myself, so I'd start running, but that just made me have to [censored] more, so I just didn't know what to do. I debated just stopping on the side of the road and just shitting on the curb, but seriously, who the [censored] would do that? So I walked, in that kind of "I have to [censored], so I'm clenching my ass cheeks, but I'm trying to walk really fast, so I look like a black guy making fun of the way white people walk" walk, when all of a sudden, I felt what I thought was a fart coming out, so I said "OK, maybe that'll relieve some pressure," but no, I [censored] myself, and i just didn't know what to do, so I just walked home with this huge load in my pants, and it was the single most disgusting moment of my life.

[/ QUOTE ]


ohman. this is hilarious.

people are really opening up.

[ QUOTE ]
Is there really a best time and place to shart?

[/ QUOTE ]

if there is, it's certainly not during a rimjob

[ChipWrecked]

I think Jessica Alba is going to keep looking now; sorry dude... /images/graemlins/frown.gif

gawwwwdamn this shizz is hilarious

[tonypaladino]

Ive thankfully never sharted.
But something else gross has happened to me. (http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/showflat.php?Cat=&Number=3328801&page=0&view=colla psed&sb=5&o=14&fpart=1)

[ilikeaces]

[ QUOTE ]
I debated just stopping on the side of the road and just shitting on the curb, but seriously, who the [censored] would do that?

[/ QUOTE ]

I am a runner and I have shat on the side of the road about 15 times. When you get that feeling you just gotta let it out. Its not worth the pain of holding it in.

[nothumb]

While getting a hummer, but not really a hummer, more of a end-of-the-hummer, licking of balls / handjob cause the old lady knows you're into it kind of thing, after having a lengthy go, kinda drunk, about three in the afternoon. Really having a hard time releasing the tension.

While lying on your back in a very expensive, white down comforter.

I shart you not.

NT

[bravos1]

[ QUOTE ]
While getting a hummer, but not really a hummer, more of a end-of-the-hummer, licking of balls / handjob cause the old lady knows you're into it kind of thing, after having a lengthy go, kinda drunk, about three in the afternoon. Really having a hard time releasing the tension.

While lying on your back in a very expensive, white down comforter.

I shart you not.

NT

[/ QUOTE ]
That's EXACTLY why I will NEVER buy a white comforter!

[WEASEL45]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I was in high school when I went out for like a 4 mile jog and as soon as I hit the 2 mile mark, I had to [censored], so I stopped running, but I knew that if I walked, I wouldn't be able to make it home in time to not [censored] myself, so I'd start running, but that just made me have to [censored] more, so I just didn't know what to do. I debated just stopping on the side of the road and just shitting on the curb, but seriously, who the [censored] would do that? So I walked, in that kind of "I have to [censored], so I'm clenching my ass cheeks, but I'm trying to walk really fast, so I look like a black guy making fun of the way white people walk" walk, when all of a sudden, I felt what I thought was a fart coming out, so I said "OK, maybe that'll relieve some pressure," but no, I [censored] myself, and i just didn't know what to do, so I just walked home with this huge load in my pants, and it was the single most disgusting moment of my life.

[/ QUOTE ]


this one had me laughing out loud, PooBoy .

[/ QUOTE ]

[arod15]

[ QUOTE ]
I was about 13 years old at a summer camp. I was prancing around the cabin like a fool, singing and pretty much f*cking around along with the other guys.

I felt one coming up, and, being in an all male cabin, it was time to blast one. I squatted low and spread the cheeks, hoping for maximum noise. "Hey guys, listen to this" I declared...

Instead, a sickening, wet, bubbly sound echoed throughout the cabin, and to my utter horror, I felt the rhea blast through. I grabbed a nearby tissue box and discovered that I indeed sharted myself.

I ran to the bathroom and cleaned for the rest of the afternoon.

Good times...

[/ QUOTE ]
good times if i ever heard them....

[arod15]

Link it

[arod15]

thats crazy

[arod15]

def funny

[arod15]

[ QUOTE ]
I think Jessica Alba is going to keep looking now; sorry dude... /images/graemlins/frown.gif

[/ QUOTE ]
I hit it already so its ok......